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Cyprus Presents "Plan C" - The Solidarity Fund

Tyler Durden's picture


Given the public unrest of the last few days, it would appear that the Cypriot government, having tried and failed with Plan A (wealth tax versions 1 and 2) and Plan B (beg the Russians directly), they have decided to go with Plan C (Collateralized Cypriot Obligations). The current proposal, ekathimerini reports, to theoretically be voted on in a few hours (about to be in cabinet), is that Cyprus will form an investment fund to raise the capital needed to payoff their EU overlords. This fund will be collateralized by state assets, possibly including natural gas revenues, church property, and social security fund reserves. Though some form of deposit tax was 'apparently' not ruled out, it seems the next last best hope for Cyprus is begging the Russians to extend a loan and begging the world to fund more debt from a nation about to see huge capital outflows. The approach is, it appears, a 'solidarity' approach - rather than tax the current wealth of depositors (and hand it over to Troika), 'tax' the future possibility of wealth creation and sell that to the next greater fool sovereign wealth fund (or will the ECB decide that these CCOs are acceptable collateral?)


Via ekathimerini,

Political leaders in Cyprus have agreed that their country should form an investment fund to raise the capital needed to agree a bailout with the eurozone and International Monetary Fund and avert a collapse of its banking system.




“We will find a solution,” said Neofytou. “We have no other choice. We are making a united effort to avoid our country’s bankruptcy and I think we will succeed.”


Nicosia plans to create a fund collateralized by state assets, possibly including natural gas revenues, church property and social security fund reserves. A proposal is due to be submitted to the House of Representatives on Thursday evening.


A government official who declined to be named told Bloomberg that some kind of deposit tax was not being ruled out.




"We are asking for help clearly, but something that would make also economic sense for Russia,” Sarris told reporters earlier.


Cyprus is also asking Moscow to extend the maturity of an existing 2.5-billion-euro loan. Sarris said that Russia was unable to provide Cyprus with a new loan.


Neofytou said that Cyprus would welcome Russian assistance but still needed to balance this against the requirements of remaining in the eurozone.


"We cannot reject any form of help but we are in the euros and we need the continue support of the ECB for liquidity," he said. "Any support is welcome but we should not forget that we are in Europe and we need European institutions to stabilize our economy."


Earlier, the ECB warned Cyprus on Thursday morning that the island’s banks might not qualify for emergency lending when they reopen next week.


“The Governing Council of the European Central Bank decided to maintain the current level of Emergency Liquidity Assistance (ELA) until Monday, 25 March 2013,” it said in a statement.


“Thereafter, Emergency Liquidity Assistance (ELA) could only be considered if an EU/IMF programme is in place that would ensure the solvency of the concerned banks.”


It is thought Cyprus Popular Bank (Laiki) – the island’s largest lender - would not be eligible for emergency funding under the ELA terms as it would be deemed insolvent.




Speaking to a European Parliament committee, Eurogroup chief Jeroen Djisselbloem said he felt a solution including some kind of deposit levy would be found.




In the present situation I think there is definitely a systemic risk and I think the unrest of the last couple of days has proven this, unfortunately," he said


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Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:21 | 3357204 sunnydays
sunnydays's picture

They will give away the country? Those poor people!  

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:26 | 3357228 redpill
redpill's picture

They just became renters in their own home. Sad.

Thing is that it doesn't really matter what they do now, they can't stop the bank run.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:27 | 3357232 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

How about "The Human Fund"?  I'll call Costanza......

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:32 | 3357265 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

I daytrade triple short etf's thru ETrade, just luvvvvv that little baby... where can I buy some of these CCO's for my IRA?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:38 | 3357301 redpill
redpill's picture

Interesting thought experiment: if you hold up a bank just to get your own money out, how can it be robbery?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:50 | 3357389 Fukushima Sam
Fukushima Sam's picture

Wow, Cyprus, just cut your losses and default. You will be better off in the mid-to-long term.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:15 | 3357542 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

<<This fund will be collateralized by state assets, possibly including natural gas revenues, church property, and social security fund reserves.>>




This fund will be collateralized by state assets, possibly including natural gas revenues, church property, and social security fund reserves...and human organ donations.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:40 | 3357312 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

This is definitely their best stupid idea so far.  Amazing how creative people can be with a gun to their head.  Even politicians and bankers (I want to make that clear since politicians and bankers are typically not considered 'people', nor should they be).

Verdict:  It'll probably work, God help us all.


Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:36 | 3357292 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Spring Festivus     for the rest of us

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:27 | 3357233 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

The current situation in Cyprus reminds me of Shakespeare's The Merchant of Venice. The ECB (Shylock) is demanding its "pound of flesh" from the people of Cyprus (Antonio). The Bank of Cypress (Bassanio) courts Russia (Portia) in order to pay off the evil moneylender, who out of spite, declines the repayment of a loan and insists on his pound of flesh, as a warning to other borrowers.

" There I have another bad match: a bankrupt, a prodigal, who dare scarce show his head on the Rialto; a beggar, that was used to come so smug upon the mart; let him look to his bond. he was wont to call me usurer; let him look to his bond." Shylock

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:31 | 3357258 Karlus
Karlus's picture

Even as a kid when I first read this, I can't understand why Shylock is though of as a villian....I kinda always thought Antonio was the bad guy in this.

Even thought its been explained to me, I still don't agree...

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:37 | 3357299 Cursive
Cursive's picture


For the same reason that credit card companies refer to people who pay off the monthly balance and incur no interest as "Deadbeats."

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:41 | 3357323 Karlus
Karlus's picture

Who cares what they call you.


My thought is if you borrow a bunch of money or get over your skis in speculation mode then you might just want to have a spare pound of flesh in your chest cavity.


Its a stretch asking me to feel bad for Antonio "aka flip that shipment" trash talking Skylock and getting his daughter deflowered. Antonio was a braggart, gambler and did not know proper respect and decorum. Spitting on Shylock was a dick move. F Antonio

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:08 | 3357497 Cursive
Cursive's picture


Agreed, all things being equal.  The pereption of the characters is cultural, though.  Europe and the UK being remnants of the Holy Roman Empire, lending was considered on a par with prostitution in Medieval Times.  That's the reason Shylock chaffes at the mention of "userer."  Shylock is seen here engaging in disrespectful trade and compounds that sin by not relenting.  Also, look at the hell that children of debtors suffered in England, even after the Middle Ages.  Debtors prisons, most notably the Marshalsea of Dickens fame in "Little Dorrit."  The system would force these people into debt for the profit of a few.  If you are conditioned in the American lending system with easy bankruptcy laws, these concepts are difficult to understand.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 13:34 | 3357991 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

'the wind leaves no shadow of guilt, whereas it's fickle maelstrom presence can shelter many an oppressive doubt from the light of justice... whence these shylock's count their faustian inequities of guiltless avarice treasure-- conscious tyme'd only by a heavy eyelid in a flesh-den of twilight, forever hense... forevermoar-- as satan rewards their greedy-lust,... what is, that of many an innocents forlorn'd existence-- whilst the heathen dines on their children's children naivety again... and again... forevermoar'

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:31 | 3357255 Banksters
Banksters's picture

Yep.  The bank run is on, and within a hundred or so people, the bank will say they don't have any more paper fiatscos.   The people will cry whaaat? But that is how the 'system' works.  Being willfully ignorant is not an excuse...

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:36 | 3357289 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

I keep thinking of the "shaaaaaaaare the loooooooooad" scene from Lord of the Rings.

There's no homoeroticism involved in what's happening to poor Cyprus, though. It's straight-up rape.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:40 | 3357316 Captain Willard
Captain Willard's picture

At the end, the Weimar Republic tried to back its Marks with farmland too. We know how that turned out.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:40 | 3357317 Captain Willard
Captain Willard's picture

At the end, the Weimar Republic tried to back its Marks with farmland too. We know how that turned out.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:46 | 3357364 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Why are these people so afraid to leave the EU? A little freedom from tyranny is a good thing. Punching Barrosso in the face is priceless

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 13:22 | 3357915 Sofa King
Sofa King's picture

I don't think they're afraid of leaving the Euro, I think they are afraid of the big depositors. 350Billion Euros in depositor money went somewhere and the kind of people depositing there don't take very kindly to being robbed.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:02 | 3357454 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

So, the first thing they do is seize accounts, then after the fact turn around and say " oh wait, we mean solidarity "!

That's like deep frying a chicken, then, trying to un-fry the chicken after it's done,.


Yep, that's gonna work..



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 13:17 | 3357883 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

Unfry a chicken.

Thanks. I hope you don't mind if I use that. I never liked the toothpaste/tube analogy.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:24 | 3359061 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

This won't work either, NEXT.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:22 | 3357205 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Bankers are the root of all EVIL

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:32 | 3357267 Strider52
Strider52's picture

I watched a neat program last night, where they smashed two protons together at light speed, and out popped a Higgs Boson.

Made me wonder what would happen if you slammed two banker's heads together at 186,282 MPH. Maybe you would find the elusive "Evil Boson".


Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:43 | 3357341 Karlus
Karlus's picture

Umm, you would have no one to lend to you? Look, if you have the stones to fund everything out of your cash pile, you da man.

Banking serves a valuable function on the time money exchange equation.

Now, I would agree that banking today is not really original banking, but please dont slam the trade.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:23 | 3357210 economessed
economessed's picture

Proceed to Plan D:  Bake sale.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:34 | 3357281 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Then plan E:  Let the ho's of Nicosia run things for a while.  Why not?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:55 | 3357756 GOLDTRADERRR

(Then plan E:  Let the ho's of Nicosia run things for a while.  Why not?(

I'll bet they would be better money managers!

Plus, you would get something for your money that's really worth something.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:23 | 3357212 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

CDO's and derivatives got us into this trouble, so more of it should surely help.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:25 | 3357225 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

America: The Arsenal of Innovative Financial Products

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:23 | 3357213 Spastica Rex
Spastica Rex's picture

"C?" You got a "F."

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:27 | 3357231 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@Spastica Rex


It's like they are Sears, waiting for Eddie Lampert to buy them for the "real estate" value.  Just think, Buffy or Billy Gates could buy the whole island right now.  Plan "C" is the Dear Daddy Warbucks letter from Lil Cypriot Annie.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 13:38 | 3358028 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture


Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:24 | 3357216 morning
morning's picture

Germany says Nein through Hinze.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:24 | 3357218 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I can't wait until Goldman creates a market in these and feeds 'em to their muppets.

<Can you say Stolper?>

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:24 | 3357219 Karlus
Karlus's picture

If the Russians turned their backs on them, then its pretty much over.

I am guessing the Cypriots didnt have the natty to trade they thought they did.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:40 | 3357313 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

The Russian game here would be very, very complex

Russians probably encouraging, maybe even scripting, what the Cypriots will do or say (including things like 'the Russians won't help us')

One goal might be to buy a little more time inside the euro-zone, milk the ECB and Target2 for a few more billion euros, so all of Putin's friends can get their money transfers completed

Great article today with terrific detail, on the extent to which Russian banks and companies are intertwined with Cyprus ... by Russian economy expert John Helmer in Asia Times Online

'Putin Has Med Opportunity':

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:46 | 3357366 Karlus
Karlus's picture

Well thats the question is it not? It might be a Russian game to see if they can get the ECB to bite, but I kinda thought they were getting down with the actual assets like the offshore drilling. If there is not enough to bridge then wait and pick it up for a fire sale. The gas rights are in play, its just horsetrading and all over except the shouting.

I can tell you that the average Russian oligarch would greatly prefer real-estate in Miami as opposed to Cyprus

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:25 | 3357604 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

thnx for the link bank guy.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:42 | 3357334 Matt
Matt's picture

Man defaults on a loan from the Russians:

(NSFW: swearing and violence)

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:24 | 3357221 Cursive
Cursive's picture

In Cyprus, hedge fund own you.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:25 | 3357223 Debugas
Debugas's picture

depositor deal - when you will come to the bank to withdraw your deposit you will be kindly asked to transfer part of your money to the Solidarity Fund.

The more you sacrifice there the faster your deposit will be returned to you

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:26 | 3357224 Racer
Racer's picture

1000% Mortgage on the future of the country, why ever not, the banksters cry

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:25 | 3357226 CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

Precursor of sorts ...
Patriot bonds are coming to these shores, soon.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:25 | 3357227 Vashta Nerada
Vashta Nerada's picture

I would be willing to bet that government union contract and pension cuts are not on the table, so what is the point? They sell out their resources in return for a few more years of what they have now.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:33 | 3357279 Karlus
Karlus's picture

"I would be willing to bet that government union contract and pension cuts are not on the table"


I think we are prob past that. They are now arguing over scrap value.

Think of a racehorse at the horsemeat auction. What is your flesh worth, not what you know or can do

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:28 | 3357230 Rustysilver
Rustysilver's picture

A very simple question?  The elites should be very smart people. Show me some action or a plan for the last 10 years in Euro or US that this is the fact.  The latest fvck up, Cyprus, guided by Merkel or her lieutenants reinforces that idea.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:33 | 3358342 TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

Someone was smart enough to steal all the money in Cyprus.

The money is not "gone".  Someone has it.  That guy is pretty smart.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:28 | 3357238 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

Don't forget - every time they say they are trying to avert a collapse of "the economy," they mean "nominal bank balance sheets." Everything they do to you will be a device to rescue - in nominal terms - bank solvency. It's as pathetic and petty as it is brutal. It's what they invented the word "motherfucker" for.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:29 | 3357246 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Seems they will sell the children to remain chained to the ball and chain (euro).

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:30 | 3357248 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Collateralize some dog turd and offer it to them. They'll go for it. They buy that shit up all the time.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:31 | 3357249 AndrewJackson
AndrewJackson's picture

Now all I need to find out is when do the options on Collateralized Cypriat Obligations (B Trauch) deliverable swap futures begin trading?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:31 | 3357257 Super Broccoli
Super Broccoli's picture

so many "solutions" for just one problem, FACE IT NOW, you're bust, europe is fucked

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:32 | 3357262 UK debt marsh
UK debt marsh's picture

If the Chinese can sell fresh air, maybe they can securitise sunshine.

Securities of Sunshine (SOS) could be a new asset class for cash-strapped Club Med governments.

Solved it.

Back to re-runs of Cheers

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:32 | 3357263 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Now I understand why the only thing that made Jesus angry were the bankers. Not even his killers, the holier-than-thou priests, or Satan riled him up, but the bankers did.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:32 | 3357266 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Anything is acceptable as collateral to the Troika, even the Ukrainian, Belorussian and other assorted ex-USSR hookers plying their trade in Cyprus....  In fact this is the best Collateral according to former IMF heads, foermer Italian Prime Ministers, and even esteemed Russian leaders...

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:32 | 3357270 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture

Plan C will be so complicated and opaque it's bound to fool enough people...errrr....I mean be a great investment.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:32 | 3357271 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Thomas Jefferson quote comes to mind.Just change it to "If the Cypus people......


"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their Fathers conquered...I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies... The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs."

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:37 | 3357300 Karlus
Karlus's picture

Look, everyone was all happy and partying about joining the Euro, Giselle was talking about getting paid in Euros and even JayZ was rapping about it. People were happy


Just like when we were doing the "flip that home Ditech" dance.

I love "This time its different." Usually when that is being said its time to make money. Just like when Apple came out with iPhone 5 aka iPhone 4 with a bigger screen. Anytime you see CNBC talking about how things have changed, then its time to place the bets.



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:08 | 3357493 Cow
Cow's picture

I don't think Jefferson ever said that.

"inflation" and "deflation" are not documented until after Jefferson's lifetime

I agree with the message, though

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:35 | 3357283 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Feeling bad for the Cypriots? Do not ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:45 | 3357298 sansnobel
sansnobel's picture

Something smells rotten about this.  I bet this ends up getting bailed out by the Chairsatan and 5-10 years down the road somebody manages to get hold of something that implicates the Fed doing some kinda Currency swap to fund this and hiding through some nebulous black box SPV.  These Bankers and Elitist cocksuckers need to lined up and sumarrily executed.  Make them dig their own graves and march them in and shoot them.  Make the next lot of theives cover up the first mass grave and so on till justice has been done and anybody in the future who fancies himself as a mover and shaker sheister that wants to fuck with the workings of the money supply and manipulate markets for political purposes will have an example of what awaits him or her.  We will all be generational slaves unless justice is done pronto.  Sounds harsh, but a 30 million dollar fine here a 10 million dollar fine there is simply a fucking joke and an insult.   Hang the incestuous regulators while we are at it.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:38 | 3357302 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Sounds like the perfect deal for one of my pension fund clients, less my fee of course.

Larry Fink


Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:39 | 3357309 moneybots
moneybots's picture

Cyprus, go to plan D default

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:41 | 3357324 moneybots
moneybots's picture

"If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children wake up homeless on the continent their Fathers conquered...I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies... The issuing power should be taken from the banks and restored to the people, to whom it properly belongs."


And who do the republicans stand with?  The bankers.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:41 | 3357325 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

They are going to need a longer alphabet

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:43 | 3357342 moneybots
moneybots's picture

Karl Denninger noted that several Tea Party members that were elected as republicans, climbed into the pockets of the bankers, once in office.



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:44 | 3357354 SoundMoney45
SoundMoney45's picture

Cypress can give the EU a Quatloo, a new fiat currency, with a value of 3 quadrillion Euros.  The EU can use it as collateral for loans to Cyprus, France, Italy, Greece, Portugal, and Spain for a few years to come.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:46 | 3357365 Bobportlandor
Bobportlandor's picture

You can see whats happening. Loan them money on assets, then when they can't pay take the assets.

This happens in the states. Cities sell assets for the sole purpose of keeping themselves employed a while longer.

Theses are the taxpayer assets not the government employees assets to do as they wish.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:48 | 3357376 Canucklehead
Canucklehead's picture

Cyprus should sell Pet Rocks...

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:49 | 3357383 css1971
css1971's picture

So plan C is to sell the family silver?


Just what the asset strippers wanted.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:49 | 3357385 Cone of Uncertainty
Cone of Uncertainty's picture

This method of enrichment has gone on for decades and the only shocking thing about it is that it wasn't plan A to begin with.

Of course, Russia isn't going to like this too much, as they had their eyes on this shit from the word jump.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:50 | 3357390 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

Revenge is sweet.

After 2 decades of watching the ZATO alliance wring every Slavic country dry of blood n money, the emergent Empire of neo-Byzantium now sees the tide turn, the VATICAN churn, and it's enemies learn

a Russia purged of it's bolshie\sionist blight, ready to capitalize on it's abundant resources and strategic geopolitcal investments has simply outwaited it's opponent, and once again, watches their retreat with a hooded eye, following up every pre-dawn embarcation, riding through the still smouldering coals of last night's fire, playing a desultory game of hide n seek with the forlorn rearguard left at the next fording to pretend a resistance in strength is stilll matter the squadron - IMF, BIS ECB...each is lost in turn to the retreating shambles -Napoleon in rags-

Dying horses litter the retreat of the west...a sure sign of the end. For to abandon our best and most loyal friends was always known, in the time of our elders n betters, as the mark of cowardice and incompetence.

You always knew the deal. "Madeline Albright," Heinz Kissinger, the thousands of others who were born of mothers not of our own stock and values...they sold you on the idea of an easy expedition of pillage n conquest in a defenseless eastern hinterland that could never resist the superior technology and knowhow of the modern West.

They sold you a fantasy...but you bought the lie. Cyprus is where the west goes to die.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:43 | 3357690 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Sounds like east african safari of "I had a farm in Africa" variety, plenty of ivory tusked dinosaurs; Finch Hatton brand; along with some bearded Orthodox priests selling their church's land;  all near King SOlomon's Zionist wealth of mined variety, where those elephants go to die; current dreams of NWO kind built on oil and sand castles.

A page turns like Byzantine decline; another opens like Asia rising. To each dog his day. Anglo saxons and mixed blood americans are the scions of current paradigm, now fluttering its butterfly wings. 

The west will survive I just hope those ivory tusk beasts go die honourably like past vestiges of PAx Americana losing its Bwana/Sahib status as hegemonial overlord. Mixed blood is but the kindle to genetic diversity like Brasilian salsa is to popular dance. No regrets, no looking back at neandertal times of morne mono ethnicity. Humanity is genetic mutation personified. 

I wouldn't worry too much about Venus country, she is like the Phoenix once the ashes have been washed away. She has a long history of survival like all immortals do.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 13:35 | 3357989 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

I knew that one would roust you out...any stirrings of spirit from the lair of the Patriachs give the Bogomils amongst us cause for apoplexy...

altho I do admire the manner in which you've learned to temper the most obvious signs thereof...

immortality is far over-rated...the mortal span of men and empire is measured in the treasure of their good (and faithful!) credit and probity...


sayonara, Lucrezia!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:03 | 3358187 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Gender inversion like Berleybey affectation do nothing more than tickle my funny bone.

And, the apoplexy that you talk about has  more than a recurrent sound of Z or K connotation, which does confer an unsavoury mustache to your avatar, whatever its proclaimed nom de plume.

That is not of my making.  Sour grapes make sad monkeys of some homo sapiens.



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:15 | 3358265 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

Bey was an honorific granted you on the basis of a talent in the scriptorial department...

which you sadly...but presciently declined...(as those once mighty powers do seem in parallel descent with the fortunes of once fearsome behemoths!)

We are not disposed towards the grape here squire. A little bit of kismiss, from time to time...homo sapiens?>/persona non grata!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:36 | 3358357 falak pema
falak pema's picture

honour has to be earned, and ethnic conspiratorial contempt dressed up in cultural and moral superiority is not my department.

BTW : If you read Ottoman history at its apogy, you realise the Ottomans were great believers in slavery.

Bey or no Beys, that Red Beard was a redoutable killer and his Sultan the Magnificent and Qanuni was a man whose love for rule of law was only equalled by his love for enforcing slavery on non believers. 

Templars and Ottomans shook hands at Lepanto and died together as the world moved westwards.

History rhymes in pendulum chimes. Westward Ho now goes Eastward hello.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 23:56 | 3360697 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

 On the cusp of a new day here, how much I looked forward to starting it  with your latest riposte...having ceded the advantage of the last word to my clever opponent...what disappointment...quel horreur!

Has fatuousness joined with hackneyed cliche in your lexicon of lunacy? To whom are you addressing complaints as to Ottoman proclivities? And why excoriate one group of slavers whilst defending their opposite numbers in the trade! Selective 'scholarship' is the mark of the scoundrel sir!

Have you possibly failed even to glean to whom goes the 'honours' of operating the noveau Byzantium which now springs forth? Did you mistake Constantinople for a place in space, rather than a banner under which the peoples of our hijacked culture will seek refuge and relief from the misery imposed by the forces whom you front for???

Let it be known...tis the ignomious end of all those who thought a veneer of civility and learning would save them from exposure as arid nests of interest vest....please continue with your studies of 'Ottoman history,' while the rest of us forge on with the task of rebuilding the spiritual Santa Sophia...

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:52 | 3357398 poseidon
poseidon's picture

Why don't they just do an IPO like Manchester United

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 11:57 | 3357428 They Tried to S...
They Tried to Steal My Gold's picture

The TROIKA 3 days ago gave the Cypriots a "3 Day Pay or Vacate" Notice


It has really gotten to this....


So called money in the bank or bitcoin are only ELECTRONIC DIGITS .....



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:29 | 3357637 crowd
crowd's picture

It doesn't matter if money is tallysticks, computer bits, colored cotton, cement, oil, promises or shiny yellow crystals. What really matters is how it is issued. Electronic digits are just fine, and in the bitcoin case, there is a fixed amount to be issued and it's matematically impossible to create any more than that.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:02 | 3357453 Appalledlawyer
Appalledlawyer's picture

This is almost exactly what the Germans did when they created the Renntenmark.

Instill renewed "CON-fidence" by backing a new-and-improved currency by mineral and agricultural assets.

Old playbook same dismal results!



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:04 | 3357477 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

The ECB has been accepting otherwise worthless collateral for several years.  Why not accept Cypriot CCO's also?  Most EU banks have traded in worthless mortgages and sovreign  bonds for Euros at the ECB window.  This sounds more like an EU brokered deal that recognizes this is the cheapest way for the EU to keep Cyprus in the fold, while still slowly squeezing the economic life out of the country.  After all, who does Cyprus really owe the money to?  Their EU overlords.  So this is just another way to covertly transferring ECB play money to the EU banks holding Cypriot debt.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:16 | 3357552 Two dogs
Two dogs's picture

(or will the ECB decide that these CCOs are acceptable collateral?)

I though the ECB wanted cash rather than collateral.

Anyway,  I can't see how state pension funds could count as anything - they are pretty much Cypriot Gov Bonds aren't they?  If they count,  then why not just issue EUR 5.8bn in Cypriot Gov bonds??

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:18 | 3357565 surfsup
surfsup's picture

Reasonable Hypothesis emerges:   Russia Oligarcs ALREADY took a chucnk out of the bank.    If a couple of them did it in concert via request from Putin it would certainly force near term liquidity issues...   

As part of western backing for this:



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 12:32 | 3357650 tony bonn
tony bonn's picture

nice try but fuck you.....

plow the banks under and learn that there is no free lunch, that you eventually run out of other people's money, and that banksters are criminal....

i truly feel sorry for the people....the banks are criminal and if the people don't demand justice or refuse to take it into their own hands when it is denied (and it will be denied) then they are the greatest fools....

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 13:04 | 3357702 pmm009
pmm009's picture

PURE B.S.!!!!

Cyprus banks have been offering interest rates on deposits greater than 15 thousand Euros that in many cases are hundreds of percent greater than what can be made in America or UK.

These banks were running a Ponzi.  Offering someone 4% and taking the money and investing in EU Sovereigns, like Greece, is not a prudent business model.  How did these depositors think the banks were going to offer these rates?  Bankers are not Hedge Fund managers.  Any banker who is that good, leaves to work with or for Hedge Funds. 

Cyprus politicians need to tell the common people of Cyprus the Truth.  If the country leaves the EU, they will loose a third of their purchasing power almost immediately.  If they stay in the EU, they have a much better chance of monetizing the Gas fields for the betterment of the Common people of Cyprus.  If they leave, Russia, China and maybe US-UK-NOR firms will take the lions share.


All deposits above 15,000 Euros gets taxed by 5.9%.  All deposits above 100,000 Euros gets taxed 9.9%.   All deposits above 500,000 Euros gets taxed at 14.9%.  THIS WILL RAISE ALMOST EXACTLY 5.77 Billion Euros.



The Russians and Brits, etc. who get a haircut will breath a sigh of relief knowing it could have been much worse.  They may move their money, but Cyprus is going to have to change their banking sector in any case ( and this means offering less interest on insured deposits ) so some money will leave anyway. 

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 13:03 | 3357789 bankonzhongguo
bankonzhongguo's picture

Why in the world Cyprus continues to play these EU games is beyond me.

Tell ECB/IMF to go fook themselves. - 'Nobody's touch'in the deposits!'

Leave Euro.

Reopen the banks.

Don't pay any crazy unjust debt.

Offer Bitcoin a place of domicile.

Sell passports for $1,000,000 deposits and become a new Switzerland in the Med.

In this climate, Cyprus can be the world's savior easier than another EU debt slave.

Its all in the marketing.

Russian bridge loan to get things steady.

Park a few Russian warships of the coast for a year or two.

Let the billionaire mafia know their money is safe on Cyprus and away from the Bernak and ECB.

If the French are giving up their passports to become Russian, you know things are bad.


Thu, 03/21/2013 - 13:42 | 3358055 poseidon
poseidon's picture

Wow - Church properties as collateral - I'm sure Goldman will be all over it.  I'm sure those pay heavenly returns ... Eventually.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:21 | 3358300 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Remember, there's a big difference between kneeling down and bending over.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:02 | 3358573 akak
akak's picture

Not to an altar boy.


Or, on second thought, maybe you're right.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:04 | 3358586 trader1
trader1's picture

the cypriots should be begging for debt forgiveness and repent.  

if that doesn't fly, then it's official that cyprus' creditors are anti-christi

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