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EU Weighs 40% Haircut On Uninsured Cypriot Deposits In Bad-Bank Plan

Tyler Durden's picture


More details are appearing on the latest and greatest plan in the shambles to solve Cyprus' (and Europe's unsolvable) problem. It appears the European Group is implicitly declaring economic war on the 'wealthy' depositors (we noted here non-domestic depositors dominated recent inflows) as these headlines hit:


We assume followed rapidly by some eurozone law-breaking capital controls to stop the remaining 60% flooding out instantaneously...


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Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:50 | 3358461 Gazooks
Gazooks's picture

floodgates open

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358491 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Cyprus needs to leave the Euro and print their own money.  They need to name their currency bitcoin so that it will already have a little bit of value.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:58 | 3358542 bonderøven-farm ass
bonderøven-farm ass's picture



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:03 | 3358580 redpill
redpill's picture

Hope they like the taste of polonium tea

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:09 | 3358583 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Bloomberg TV's Adam Johnson just said Cyprus is holding the Euro and US markets hostage...  hahahah Laughable because the complete opposite it true.  EU Mafia is in full effect with their racket.

Too bad they're hired to simply read rather than think.  Matt Miller is cool though.  Trish Regan dresses like a pilgrim and is absolute garbage along with Stephanie Ruhle (cheerleader).

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:13 | 3358629 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

The thing that is so wonderful about criminal fraud (and by extension the practice of rehypothecation), is that even when something is settled upon, which will surely be a disaster in and of itself, I have little doubt that the actual unhypothecated funds are just sitting there in accounts.  Evidence of such institutional reinvestment, fractional reserve and illegal use of customer funds by US banks has been documented here on ZH, appearing to be quite common nowadays.

How much was already gone even before last Friday?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:14 | 3358652 N. B. Forrest
N. B. Forrest's picture

If the depositors get any form of haircut.  You can be rest assured that the Russians will be exacting revenge.  There will be many and unfortunate accidents amongst the European Bankers.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:14 | 3358658 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

Larry Motherfucking FINK is long electric razors, shavers, trimmers

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:18 | 3358693 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Luckily for the EU summer is just around the corner. Something tells me it could be a very cold winter later on.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:21 | 3358718 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Bankers and politicians to be scalped if depositors get haircuts.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:50 | 3358867 GCT
GCT's picture

Hell toys the only frigging country that jailed and fucked over some bankers was China.   I really do not know how to say this but here I go,  this will get real ugly if they fuck over the Russian Mafia.  They not only kill you, but your entire family and parents.  This may not be smart for these politicians.

Another scenario in my mind is Putin wants the names of all the accounts of the Russian Mob so Russia can take their money.  Putin was tied to them at one time in several articles.  Maybe he now wants his cut! 

The smart move would be to get exploration rights in Cyprus and a deep water port.  Kick back, lay low, build the port and drill for oil and natural gas.  The EU is seriously fucking up as they are energy resource poor. 

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:53 | 3359215 akak
akak's picture

Here is the ECB's idea of a "haircut":


Thu, 03/21/2013 - 19:15 | 3359788 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Aww man, a little warning next time.  I was eating. lol

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:16 | 3358673 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

You say that like it's a bad thingy;)

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:21 | 3358714 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

There's revenge and then there's sending a message. . . .the latter could get messy.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:15 | 3358659 bagehot99
bagehot99's picture

They ran out of time on Bloomberg, and they're going to leave Cyprus news...

......and head back to domestic happy talk about why the market's up, but no fucker has a job. It's all part of the plan, I'm sure.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:16 | 3358677 redpill
redpill's picture

So let's go to our panel on the hot stocks for today!  derp a derp

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:33 | 3358774 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Or switch over tp CNBS and hear their latest rant about how "tired" gold has gotten.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:17 | 3358688 ACP
ACP's picture

Either that or a lead salad.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:02 | 3358575 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Schrute Bucks or Stanley Nickels.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:08 | 3358616 Augustus
Augustus's picture

Printing their own money would do nothing to solve the problem of the banks having owned Greek bonds or making other losing investments.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:33 | 3358778 semperfi
semperfi's picture

fixed it:

Cyprus needs to leave the Euro and MINE their own money.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:51 | 3359207 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

That would be smart, good job.  Naming their new currency (which no country has yet to use as their currency) a form of bitcoin would have some value.  Also All these controls will just make it worse for Cyprus in the short term and long term.  They are going to lose, the question is do they want to draw it out over a longtime or real quick and then rebuild their currency and economy.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 05:52 | 3361139 TruthHunter
TruthHunter's picture

BREAKING: Russian treasury unable to meet it’s financial obligations. All government agencies see asset freeze in Cyprus-Prime Minister Medvedev
Read more at 


I haven't bothered to evaluate this site, may be Tin Hat...

One way or another, this is about economic war with Russia?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358493 OpenEyes
OpenEyes's picture

Wow, it's amazing to 'watch' this happen in virtual real-time.  Thank you Zero Hedge for the fantastic coverage!

That being said, this is just breathtaking if they really do take 40% of the over 100K deposits.  Hell, they might just take it all!  

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:56 | 3358521 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

The coverage elsewhere is for shit. Drudge finally has something up, but everyone else is all about Syria/Iran/Israel, the Pope, or celebrity stupidity. It's sickening.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:12 | 3358627 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

At this point you would expect something different?


They are all about the pacification of the masses and telling them that their money will soon be stolen by a bunch of rich motherfuckers is the last thing that they're going to do.


I would really be shocked if within the next few days there isn't a mass shooting or commencement of Syrian/Iran "aggression".

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:46 | 3358851 machineh
machineh's picture

Angela "Forty Percent" Merkel's intention was announced a week ago.

Did anyone think the 40 percent target would just disappear or something?

This is Europe, where revoting continues until the desired result is achieved.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:25 | 3359068 Day_Of_The_Tentacle
Day_Of_The_Tentacle's picture

That would be Christine "Forty Percent" Lagarde to be more accurate.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:03 | 3358577 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

The so-called "Bad Banks" will just happen to be where all the Russian money is.......

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:10 | 3358633 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

It's amazing that they've pushed us to this point.

If it's going to come down to a battle between Russian criminals and banker criminals, I'm going to side with the Russian criminals.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:15 | 3358668 N. B. Forrest
N. B. Forrest's picture

Pass the popcorn this could get entertaining. 


Thanks, Tyler, for being to only web site to be following this. 

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:16 | 3358670 N. B. Forrest
N. B. Forrest's picture

Another damn double post.  My "save" finger must stutter. 

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:18 | 3358696 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

He had them strokes, bless his heart.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:11 | 3358638 Eally Ucked
Eally Ucked's picture

Russian money is reivested back in Russia and all over the world. If they loose some money and they will for sure, it will be just fraction.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 17:05 | 3359237 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

It's the principle. The Russians will respond in a measured manner. When they start cutting off body parts, and they will for sure, it will also be just a fraction!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 00:09 | 3360717 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

Cypriot banks are a pass-through for Russian "hot" or "dirty" or "black" money, not a terminus. All this talk of "punishing" the Russians by hitting Cyprus banks is, well, BULLSHIT.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:05 | 3358595 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

At this point they might as well take it all. Even a small hit will kill confidence so go for broke. I've never heard of a pickpocket grabbing your wallet, extracting a twenty and handing it back saying "That's all I need". They would be wise to grant full exclusions for anyone who can document a connection to trained assassins.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:05 | 3358601 Key-Rick
Key-Rick's picture

That's the risk you take when you invest more than $100,000 in a bank.  If the bank fails, you stand to lose everything above $100,000 (don't know how to get the Euro symbol).  So, as long as all bonds are defaulted and all stock made worthless, the remainder has to come from depositors. 

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:24 | 3358730 DosZap
DosZap's picture

That's the risk you take when you invest more than $100,000 in a bank


FDIC was extended to $250k per depositor.Not the old 100k.

Like it matters.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:28 | 3358758 css1971
Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:38 | 3358806 Key-Rick
Key-Rick's picture

€  +1 to you (even though that didn't work - I copied it from Word).

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:27 | 3358733 crowd
crowd's picture

Excellent. Taking everything would solve the problem with capital controls. Then I'm sure their new best friend Russia could give some great advice on collective farming and other things.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358496 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Just as one can't be a little pregnant, one can't be a little ass-raped, either.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:58 | 3358539 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Need a T-shirt illustration for that piece of popular wisdom, preferably with a 250lb alpha prisoner and his bitch.  

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:37 | 3358803 Peachfuzz
Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:55 | 3358883 machineh
machineh's picture

Just as one can't be a little pregnant, one can't be a little ass-raped, either.

Apparently you've never met 'Tiny Tim' Geithner.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:30 | 3359100 akak
akak's picture


Just as one can't be a little pregnant, one can't be a little ass-raped, either.

"I just want to put it on the hole .... I won't push it in, honest."

At least, that's what my priest always told me.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:56 | 3358515 HD
HD's picture

The trillions the central bankers have pissed away and they are shaking the system over pocket change.  One has to ask why?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:30 | 3358762 crowd
crowd's picture

On the margin, it's never a problem. Until the last euro.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:56 | 3358526 Greyhat
Greyhat's picture

This is just the beginning, tuesday will be funny!

Furious russian small biznez men trying to get their remainig 60% after haircut.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:19 | 3358697 Ethics Gradient
Ethics Gradient's picture

Could be interesting the Tuesday a week later. That's the week after Easter. The week after four days with no bank opening. The ideal time to wind up a currency. Which countries are going to follow, though?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:21 | 3358713 frankthomaswhite59
frankthomaswhite59's picture

nice avatar

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:22 | 3358719 frankthomaswhite59
frankthomaswhite59's picture


Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:41 | 3358827 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

Wow - can't believe they didn't ban the iron cross avatar - it is almost as bad as mine....

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:49 | 3358863 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Only titties get banned.  They are so..., unnatural;)

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 19:34 | 3359843 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Pretty sure there's no out-of-bounds avatars here, just some consideration for the wage-slaves that view ZeroHedge at work...

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:56 | 3358527 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

It is as if the Eurodummies are purposely baiting Russian capital into a provocation: when Russia turns off the gas feeds to Europe and builds their Cypriot nuclear missile station with all warheads aimed at the Continent that expropriated their wealth, who will be laughing in Frankfurt/Berlin/Brussels?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:01 | 3358564 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

The talking heads keep saying how the EU doesn't want to do a deal because it is all Russian mob money.

Isn't that the exact reason the EU should want to do a deal?

We are going to see EU technocrats going boom in the weeks ahead courtesy of the Russian mob.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:15 | 3358660 DosZap
DosZap's picture

The talking heads keep saying how the EU doesn't want to do a deal because it is all Russian mob money

Then why not just target the RUSSIAN account holders?.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 17:00 | 3359244 akak
akak's picture

Do I really have to repeat this again?


Q: How can you tell when a bankster is lying?

A: Yes.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:22 | 3358720 SWCroaker
SWCroaker's picture

Bad time to be a horse.    With a head.         Just sayin'

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:51 | 3358462 Rubicon
Rubicon's picture

Is Poland between Moscow and Berlin?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:55 | 3358508 Mark123
Mark123's picture

All theater.


We all have the same masters, and those who make too much fuss are liberated from their oppresive governments in the name of democracy.



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:03 | 3358581 frenchie
frenchie's picture

yep and now Cyprus found out how nice it is

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:28 | 3358754 mesje
mesje's picture

God damn it!.. it actually is..

Does it mean you are from Poland?

If so.. bless you son.. it ain't gonna be easy there..



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:51 | 3358463 Two dogs
Two dogs's picture

With hindsight: 9.9% was a good deal.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:56 | 3358528 Yikes
Yikes's picture

That's exactly the message Merkel is trying to send. 


I can't decide if we've reached the "triple dare" or if we're still at the "double dog dare"

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:43 | 3358838 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

I AGREE that this is all theater - the EU probably sent in/paid the protestors.  Why do I say that - they are too well behaved.

The fix is probably already in with the EU grabbing its ankles once again...

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:06 | 3358605 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

That depends upon whether you think remaining a part of the EU Ponzi system is a "good deal".

And even with the 40% haircut the pubic hair still remains.

/disgusting snark

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:19 | 3359024 Killer the Buzzard
Killer the Buzzard's picture

Actually, 9.9% is not an unreasonable vig to pay for money laundering.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:51 | 3358466 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Yeah this is going to end well. You have to wonder what planet these idiots come from.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:51 | 3358468 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture


Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358469 knukles
knukles's picture

Gotta love it
Nothin bad woulda happened if the muckety mucks would have never talked about confiscating deposits
And now looks like the savior for Europe is gonna be Russia.

Fucking Awesome, Dude

Oh the irony of it all....
So this is how the Cold War ends. LOL

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:58 | 3358540 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

No worries, knuks.

Cypress is unique.  Tee hee

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:13 | 3358628 knukles
knukles's picture

I forgot

BTW Trisha Regan on Bloomie is talking with two dudes about whether this Cypress miasma heralds the end of the Euro.
Don't ask me what they're saying because I have the sound off.
But one of the guys looks clueless like the proverbial deer in headlamps and Trishs looks are amazingly hateful. I mean if looks could kill... He probably said it mattered.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:52 | 3358470 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

100% is gone.  The EU might as well take 100% because if they take 10% or 40% it is all going to be gone after the banks reopen unless they can jail people for not having a bank account.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:00 | 3358558 Racer
Racer's picture

jail people for not having bank accounts?

Sshhhhhh, don't give the eivil robbers any more ideas!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:17 | 3358687 diana_in_spain
diana_in_spain's picture

They could make it necesary to swipe your bank id card before you can make any cash purchases so that you dont get arrested for not having a bank account.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:27 | 3358748 semperfi
semperfi's picture

100% gone, many times over - hahahahaha!!!!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:52 | 3358472 reload
reload's picture

Does the 40% haircut for the non insured deposits require a parliamentary vote?

Suicide, litteraly for the politicians I would have thought if so.



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:57 | 3358536 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Of course this needs a vote, these are democracies we are talking about.


(cracking myself up typing this)

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:14 | 3358657 persu
persu's picture

You mean assisted suicide?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:52 | 3358475 gwar5
gwar5's picture

Escalation ain't just a happy Eskimo in Alaska.



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:20 | 3358710 ebear
ebear's picture

Yo!   Don't call me eskimo!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:52 | 3358476 Cdad
Cdad's picture

In late trading today, healthy Cyprian knee caps hit an all time high, but market analysts are warning that this market may have moved too far too fast.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:55 | 3358507 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Unbelievable, but some CNBC Blowhornist just declared 'The important thing is'...40% is better than 10%? 

I want an official CNBC calculator!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:58 | 3358541 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

I heard if you open an account at a Cyprus bank today, they will give you one.

A Genuine CNBC calculator!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:01 | 3358565 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

let's all get overdrafts!!!!!

anddddddd its gone

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:26 | 3358744 semperfi
semperfi's picture

throw in a Spiderman towel and I'm game

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:08 | 3358614 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Cdad's Proprietary BlowHorn [CNBC] Unwatchability Indicator must be parabolic by now...but I cannot I refuse to watch it due to threat of damage to the brain stem.  Caution. 

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:14 | 3358655 Augustus
Augustus's picture

What is really funny to hear on CNBC is the commentary that relates to the small population of Cyprus and how it is too small to matter.  Of course it is the size of the banks that is the issue, and how the problem is resolved related to depositors.  The original proposition of leaving the shareholders and bondholders whole while screwing the depositors was the beginning of the undoing of the Ponzi scheme.  As soon as these banks are connected to the transfer wires again it is all gone.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:20 | 3358706 Cdad
Cdad's picture're saying you are skeptical that €15.8 billion can and will secure deposits of €130 billion?  You know...the ECB's original plan?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:52 | 3358477 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

This shit is getting serious. Don't fuck with the Russians.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:57 | 3358523 persu
persu's picture

Relax. Those are harmless nice guys. They understand their legitime share of 20-30bn for a common good.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:59 | 3358551 knukles
knukles's picture

And not a penny of that Russian money is legal, honest, unlaundered, avoiding taxes, etc. Some of these people are mean motherfuckers who don.t take kindly to being the screwed...

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:05 | 3358597 persu
persu's picture

You did not get the sarcasm? Well. Now couple of oligarghs are gonna be really really upset.

Just wonder if their response is to drown pain in vodka or do they have more imagination?

It was actually Finland, who insisted on haircut. We are only 500km from St petersburg. A day trip...

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:11 | 3358636 Shaten
Shaten's picture

Finland might still hold a grudge for those 3 russian invasions, exploting their nat. gas market, and misc other evil things.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:17 | 3358685 persu
persu's picture

No, I wellcome Russians to come pick up this socialist finance minister.
She was the one behind the deal.
That would be a favour all of us. Less socialism.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:15 | 3358666 knukles
knukles's picture

Yes I got it....
I don't think the pain is gonna be the oligarchs nor connected to vodka in any way

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:16 | 3358672 Augustus
Augustus's picture

Pay those Ruskies with the defaulted Ruskie bonds from 20 years ago.  Maybe Putin would then make good on that debt.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:52 | 3358478 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

What's this now.....'Plan Z' already??

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:57 | 3358530 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

They need a longer alphabet

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:15 | 3358663 unknownknowns
unknownknowns's picture

If the use the Greek one they only have 24 possibilities!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:53 | 3358480 permafrost
permafrost's picture

Did Cyprus attend this time?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:00 | 3358555 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

not all of them..just one or two bagmen

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:53 | 3358483 Debugas
Debugas's picture

why dont they simply declare bankruptcy and proceed according to the rules - shareholders wipe, bondholders wipe, deposits above 100000 wipe, pay out garanteed deposits within 20 days then sell the property of the banks to cover the losses.

Oh wait i forgot - the CDS would be triggered and some casino brokers (read insurers) would get hit

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:08 | 3358618 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

Plus it would set the terrible precedent of an EU institution facng reality.  Can't have that.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:15 | 3358664 Mark123
Mark123's picture

What are these things you call "rules"?


It sounds fishy to me.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 20:28 | 3359961 chindit13
chindit13's picture

Do you know the level of CDSs outstanding in Cyprus? $2 billion gross notional on the government, little to nothing on the banks.

Deposits are the problem.  CDSs, in the case of Cyprus, are not.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:53 | 3358484 morning
morning's picture

The BIS seems to be their new henchman.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:59 | 3358547 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

why don't they resite the BIS from Siwtzerland to Cyprus...they can steal whatever money they like from all the world central banks then and make it an island vault for gold demanded as collateral for lending the stolen money back.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:53 | 3358488 HD
HD's picture

Yakov will not be pleased.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:10 | 3358626 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

In post-Soviet Russia, Yakov pleases bank.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358490 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

How many bad banks are there in Europe?  Are all of them at risk for a 40% cut after the deposit guarantee for the first 50,000 or 100,000 Euros?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:03 | 3358576 Debugas
Debugas's picture

in a case of a bankrupcy all deposits above 100000 euros (their part above 100000) get completely wiped out simply because it is impossible to recover losses by selling banks' assets in the market (assets are hugely over-valued on those banks balance-sheets)

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:15 | 3358665 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

that parenthesised bit is worth saying again and again and again

what makes me laugh is that the MSM think that US banks are in better shape!

must be why C hasn't got above the old money number of $5 bucks a share yet. how its market cap is $138 billion is beyond me when its unprovided loan losses are in excess of 200 billion (1.26 trillion of "long term" - cant shift investments that prrobably need a 15% haircut and, get this, GOODWILL of 26 billion)

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358492 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Where is Beppe? He's gotta be loving this.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:58 | 3358538 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

i hear there is going to a "presidential" government appointed by el presidente..can't work, won't work

italy has to either kowtow to europe and form a government that excludes the five star movement and continue with Monti's reforms...or fuck europe, let the five star movement fuck up and exit the euro.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358499 persu
persu's picture

How are depositors at Bankia or Monte Peitschi di Siena feeling?

Their money is of course absolutely safe, as Euro Group promised.

Go to bed, sleep well, sweet dreams. There is no bogeyman in tomorrows papers.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:18 | 3358694 Augustus
Augustus's picture

If they were stupid enough to still have money in those banks, they will likely become BitCoin customers if they become nervous.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358500 Hongcha
Hongcha's picture

From a small spark may burst a mighty flame.

                                                   --- Dante Alighieri

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:55 | 3358504 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Cypriots should reciprocate but not stop at hair!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:56 | 3358514 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture


so a guy with 102,000 gives 40% away and a guy with 99,000 gives away nothing?

percentages dont work in the case of theft

you pro-rata the total amount of the theft pro-rata across indivudals proportion of the total balance and everybody gets to keep 100,000

i think these clowns do not have the most basic clue

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:59 | 3358546 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

"Fair share, blah blah blah."

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:01 | 3358572 knukles
knukles's picture

Is that you Obamiewan Dontknowbe?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:10 | 3358630 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

more like rpoo-upoo!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:05 | 3358600 Debugas
Debugas's picture

i do not know how they will proceed in Cyprus but normally (in case of bankruptcy) if you have 102000 you would get insured 100000 back and lose 2000.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:12 | 3358644 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

Assuming there is 100k available for all depositors....In a typical "real" bankruptcy the crditors get a % of what is available - and no one esxpect 100%.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:16 | 3358674 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

i hope so for everyone's sake

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:56 | 3358516 PUD
PUD's picture

pure evil the whole thing

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:13 | 3358645 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

And getting eviler by the minute.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:56 | 3358522 kito
kito's picture

forget "good bank/bad bank".............................when its americas turn, the enormity of the problem will force the overlords to divide the u.s. into "good country/bad country"............................

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:08 | 3358613 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Actually Kito I'm thinking four different countries.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:13 | 3358647 kito
kito's picture

very likely doc. does that mean since you are in indiana and im in new jersey, i will need a passport to visit you in a few years?????????

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:17 | 3358686 DosZap
Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:26 | 3358745 kito
kito's picture

PSHAAAAWWW......answer questions from congressional respresentatives about spending the country's money on obscene amounts of ammo?!?!??  how dare they ask!!!......................


meanwhile i cant find ammo anywhere...........everybody is sold out............

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:09 | 3358624 Mark123
Mark123's picture

Don't you just love that concept....only in today's world could anyone believe that splitting a bank into good/bad makes a scrap of difference.  Why not split the country into good and bad parts? 


Onward idiots!!!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:09 | 3358625 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

bad bank/incredibly bad bank!!!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:12 | 3358643 kito
kito's picture


Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:48 | 3358859 ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

They did split the country into good and bad parts:  Greece and Turkey and the partition.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:56 | 3358524 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Just bring NATO democracy and freedom to Cyprus by declaring the banks to be centers of international terrorist financing and commence the carpet bombing.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:14 | 3358653 NoTTD
NoTTD's picture

That's some good evil.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:16 | 3358683 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Me thinks that is the plan........You gotta think 3 or 4 steps ahead of these fuckers

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:59 | 3358544 semperfi
semperfi's picture

Beginning of the End of the Western Banking Syndicate - he who gets out first gets out best - gotta run...

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:00 | 3358559 monopoly
monopoly's picture

I never watch the idiot channel. Are they even talking about this at all?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:09 | 3358621 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

they are talking bout the 7/10ths of a percent earnings growth for the first quarter and where the economic growth is going to come from to support a consensus forecast of 8% for the calendar year.

inflation = 2% (i know i know its crap)

real growth = 2% (see above)

cost cutting = 4%

earnings = +8%


what could possibly go wrong?


zh has a main article on this using goldman sachs data of course...most truthful and quality data available in the market!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:00 | 3358560 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Someone is playing Russian Roulette with all 6 chambers filled!

What can go wrong?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:00 | 3358561 Grimbert
Grimbert's picture

So, what currency will they be using next month?






Cypriot Pounds?


Pounds Sterling?


Turkish Liras?


Whisky and cigarettes?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:16 | 3358590 knukles
knukles's picture

Smegma encrusted dead skin cells from Angie's Lilly white never touched upper inner thighs
Krugman said it'd work out fine

Or Bazooka Joe bubble gum wrappers

As Hillary said. What difference does it matter? Or something

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