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EU Weighs 40% Haircut On Uninsured Cypriot Deposits In Bad-Bank Plan

Tyler Durden's picture


More details are appearing on the latest and greatest plan in the shambles to solve Cyprus' (and Europe's unsolvable) problem. It appears the European Group is implicitly declaring economic war on the 'wealthy' depositors (we noted here non-domestic depositors dominated recent inflows) as these headlines hit:


We assume followed rapidly by some eurozone law-breaking capital controls to stop the remaining 60% flooding out instantaneously...

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Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:50 | 3358461 Gazooks
Gazooks's picture

floodgates open

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358491 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Cyprus needs to leave the Euro and print their own money.  They need to name their currency bitcoin so that it will already have a little bit of value.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:58 | 3358542 bonderøven-farm ass
bonderøven-farm ass's picture



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:03 | 3358580 redpill
redpill's picture

Hope they like the taste of polonium tea

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:09 | 3358583 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Bloomberg TV's Adam Johnson just said Cyprus is holding the Euro and US markets hostage...  hahahah Laughable because the complete opposite it true.  EU Mafia is in full effect with their racket.

Too bad they're hired to simply read rather than think.  Matt Miller is cool though.  Trish Regan dresses like a pilgrim and is absolute garbage along with Stephanie Ruhle (cheerleader).

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:13 | 3358629 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

The thing that is so wonderful about criminal fraud (and by extension the practice of rehypothecation), is that even when something is settled upon, which will surely be a disaster in and of itself, I have little doubt that the actual unhypothecated funds are just sitting there in accounts.  Evidence of such institutional reinvestment, fractional reserve and illegal use of customer funds by US banks has been documented here on ZH, appearing to be quite common nowadays.

How much was already gone even before last Friday?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:14 | 3358652 N. B. Forrest
N. B. Forrest's picture

If the depositors get any form of haircut.  You can be rest assured that the Russians will be exacting revenge.  There will be many and unfortunate accidents amongst the European Bankers.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:14 | 3358658 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

Larry Motherfucking FINK is long electric razors, shavers, trimmers

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:18 | 3358693 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Luckily for the EU summer is just around the corner. Something tells me it could be a very cold winter later on.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:21 | 3358718 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Bankers and politicians to be scalped if depositors get haircuts.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:50 | 3358867 GCT
GCT's picture

Hell toys the only frigging country that jailed and fucked over some bankers was China.   I really do not know how to say this but here I go,  this will get real ugly if they fuck over the Russian Mafia.  They not only kill you, but your entire family and parents.  This may not be smart for these politicians.

Another scenario in my mind is Putin wants the names of all the accounts of the Russian Mob so Russia can take their money.  Putin was tied to them at one time in several articles.  Maybe he now wants his cut! 

The smart move would be to get exploration rights in Cyprus and a deep water port.  Kick back, lay low, build the port and drill for oil and natural gas.  The EU is seriously fucking up as they are energy resource poor. 

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:53 | 3359215 akak
akak's picture

Here is the ECB's idea of a "haircut":


Thu, 03/21/2013 - 19:15 | 3359788 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Aww man, a little warning next time.  I was eating. lol

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:16 | 3358673 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

You say that like it's a bad thingy;)

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:21 | 3358714 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

There's revenge and then there's sending a message. . . .the latter could get messy.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:15 | 3358659 bagehot99
bagehot99's picture

They ran out of time on Bloomberg, and they're going to leave Cyprus news...

......and head back to domestic happy talk about why the market's up, but no fucker has a job. It's all part of the plan, I'm sure.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:16 | 3358677 redpill
redpill's picture

So let's go to our panel on the hot stocks for today!  derp a derp

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:33 | 3358774 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Or switch over tp CNBS and hear their latest rant about how "tired" gold has gotten.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:17 | 3358688 ACP
ACP's picture

Either that or a lead salad.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:02 | 3358575 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Schrute Bucks or Stanley Nickels.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:08 | 3358616 Augustus
Augustus's picture

Printing their own money would do nothing to solve the problem of the banks having owned Greek bonds or making other losing investments.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:33 | 3358778 semperfi
semperfi's picture

fixed it:

Cyprus needs to leave the Euro and MINE their own money.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:51 | 3359207 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

That would be smart, good job.  Naming their new currency (which no country has yet to use as their currency) a form of bitcoin would have some value.  Also All these controls will just make it worse for Cyprus in the short term and long term.  They are going to lose, the question is do they want to draw it out over a longtime or real quick and then rebuild their currency and economy.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 05:52 | 3361139 TruthHunter
TruthHunter's picture

BREAKING: Russian treasury unable to meet it’s financial obligations. All government agencies see asset freeze in Cyprus-Prime Minister Medvedev
Read more at http://investmentwatchblog.com/breaking-russian-treasury-unable-to-meet-its-financial-obligations-all-government-agencies-see-asset-freeze-in-cyprus-prime-minister-medvedev/#vJIfbTCCLKMHH76K.99 


I haven't bothered to evaluate this site, may be Tin Hat...

One way or another, this is about economic war with Russia?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358493 OpenEyes
OpenEyes's picture

Wow, it's amazing to 'watch' this happen in virtual real-time.  Thank you Zero Hedge for the fantastic coverage!

That being said, this is just breathtaking if they really do take 40% of the over 100K deposits.  Hell, they might just take it all!  

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:56 | 3358521 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

The coverage elsewhere is for shit. Drudge finally has something up, but everyone else is all about Syria/Iran/Israel, the Pope, or celebrity stupidity. It's sickening.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:12 | 3358627 JohnnyBriefcase
JohnnyBriefcase's picture

At this point you would expect something different?


They are all about the pacification of the masses and telling them that their money will soon be stolen by a bunch of rich motherfuckers is the last thing that they're going to do.


I would really be shocked if within the next few days there isn't a mass shooting or commencement of Syrian/Iran "aggression".

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:46 | 3358851 machineh
machineh's picture

Angela "Forty Percent" Merkel's intention was announced a week ago.

Did anyone think the 40 percent target would just disappear or something?

This is Europe, where revoting continues until the desired result is achieved.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:25 | 3359068 Day_Of_The_Tentacle
Day_Of_The_Tentacle's picture

That would be Christine "Forty Percent" Lagarde to be more accurate.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:03 | 3358577 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

The so-called "Bad Banks" will just happen to be where all the Russian money is.......

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:10 | 3358633 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

It's amazing that they've pushed us to this point.

If it's going to come down to a battle between Russian criminals and banker criminals, I'm going to side with the Russian criminals.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:15 | 3358668 N. B. Forrest
N. B. Forrest's picture

Pass the popcorn this could get entertaining. 


Thanks, Tyler, for being to only web site to be following this. 

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:16 | 3358670 N. B. Forrest
N. B. Forrest's picture

Another damn double post.  My "save" finger must stutter. 

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:18 | 3358696 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

He had them strokes, bless his heart.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:11 | 3358638 Eally Ucked
Eally Ucked's picture

Russian money is reivested back in Russia and all over the world. If they loose some money and they will for sure, it will be just fraction.


Thu, 03/21/2013 - 17:05 | 3359237 Real Estate Geek
Real Estate Geek's picture

It's the principle. The Russians will respond in a measured manner. When they start cutting off body parts, and they will for sure, it will also be just a fraction!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 00:09 | 3360717 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

Cypriot banks are a pass-through for Russian "hot" or "dirty" or "black" money, not a terminus. All this talk of "punishing" the Russians by hitting Cyprus banks is, well, BULLSHIT.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:05 | 3358595 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

At this point they might as well take it all. Even a small hit will kill confidence so go for broke. I've never heard of a pickpocket grabbing your wallet, extracting a twenty and handing it back saying "That's all I need". They would be wise to grant full exclusions for anyone who can document a connection to trained assassins.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:05 | 3358601 Key-Rick
Key-Rick's picture

That's the risk you take when you invest more than $100,000 in a bank.  If the bank fails, you stand to lose everything above $100,000 (don't know how to get the Euro symbol).  So, as long as all bonds are defaulted and all stock made worthless, the remainder has to come from depositors. 

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:24 | 3358730 DosZap
DosZap's picture

That's the risk you take when you invest more than $100,000 in a bank


FDIC was extended to $250k per depositor.Not the old 100k.

Like it matters.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:28 | 3358758 css1971
Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:38 | 3358806 Key-Rick
Key-Rick's picture

€  +1 to you (even though that didn't work - I copied it from Word).

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:27 | 3358733 crowd
crowd's picture

Excellent. Taking everything would solve the problem with capital controls. Then I'm sure their new best friend Russia could give some great advice on collective farming and other things.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358496 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Just as one can't be a little pregnant, one can't be a little ass-raped, either.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:58 | 3358539 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Need a T-shirt illustration for that piece of popular wisdom, preferably with a 250lb alpha prisoner and his bitch.  

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:37 | 3358803 Peachfuzz
Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:55 | 3358883 machineh
machineh's picture

Just as one can't be a little pregnant, one can't be a little ass-raped, either.

Apparently you've never met 'Tiny Tim' Geithner.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:30 | 3359100 akak
akak's picture


Just as one can't be a little pregnant, one can't be a little ass-raped, either.

"I just want to put it on the hole .... I won't push it in, honest."

At least, that's what my priest always told me.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:56 | 3358515 HD
HD's picture

The trillions the central bankers have pissed away and they are shaking the system over pocket change.  One has to ask why?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:30 | 3358762 crowd
crowd's picture

On the margin, it's never a problem. Until the last euro.

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