Eurogroup Concludes 'Inconclusive' Call; Cyprus Dismisses Deposit Levy; Moar Troika Needed

Tyler Durden's picture

Surprise! No decision came out of the Eurogroup conference call (and none is expected this evening) as:


However, Cyprus has decided that it will only undertake small deposit levy (if at all) and prepares to present a new proposal. And just to rub some salt in the wound:


So, Laiki has only hours of liquidity; the government hasn't voted on a proposal yet; Eurogroup won't act until Troika analyzes the proposal; and Cypriot Central banker wants major capital controls.

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slaughterer's picture

"Troika"--the Stalinist terminology should be a clue: Stalinist weapons being launched against the homeland of Stalin.  Stalin vs Stalin

knukles's picture

Why don't we have a meeting and work this out for a change?


redpill's picture

Discussing the guarantee of deposits under $100k essentially telegraphs that massive loss of deposits is expected.  You can't stop the shitstorm now.  "Hurry up and submit a proposal" -- uh, yeah, no one gives a shit what the proposal is now, they are streaming out the emergency exits of these zombie banks and never looking back.

morning's picture

Makes you wonder about the Big Lie Technique and the next sudden "stupid" decision.

Buck Johnson's picture

Massive loss is coming and it still won't save the banks, because people will still take out whats left of their money.  Also who will ever put money into those banks again.

StychoKiller's picture


So, Laiki has only hours of liquidity; the government hasn't voted on a proposal yet; Eurogroup won't act until Troika analyzes the proposal; and Cypriot Central banker wants major capital controls.


Other than that...hey look, FREE Spiderman towels!

Spider's picture

Very European solution.  The best part is S&P cut their rating for Cypress to "NEGATIVE" - how did these guys miss the financial crisis???? 

Also, what would be the rating for "good probability your deposits are confiscated"...?

Banksters's picture

First class clusterfuck.   



NotApplicable's picture

What's JPM's rating again?

kaiserhoff's picture

Relax guys, it's all good.

The air head on CKGB just said they are going to break Cypress up into a good bank, a bad bank, a worser bank, and a worstest bank, and then...

My head hurts.

Element's picture

Welcome to the Euro-peon dream

knukles's picture

This is starting to sound like the Book of Revelations reads.... Everything getting carved up, disappearing, going up in smoke, riots, disease, bankers burning at stakes, tellers being anointed as Popes, animal feces being used as coin and currency...

fonzannoon's picture

show me one banker burning at the stake.


knukles's picture

I said sounds, Fonz, not "lookie thar, ma"
Come to think of it, some day at Dizzy Land there'll be a Rollie coaster "Ride the Burning Banker" for the kiddies....

a growing concern's picture

Save a country, hang a banker.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture


some day at Dizzy Land there'll be a Rollie coaster "Ride the Burning Banker" for the kiddies....

A banker-themed abusement park?


TheLooza's picture

I think he means "a banker burning his steak."  The HORR(s)OR!

Induced Coma's picture

Tyler Durden:If he were to punch you in the face, you would have to fight off the urge to thank him.


Stay liquid my friends.



Ineverslice's picture


Everyone, keep hitting those ATM withdrawls, at the very least.

Larry Dallas's picture

Its getting to a boiling point But until there is war, I'm not interested.


insanelysane's picture

Cypress is a test.  If there is major carnage, Italy, Greece and the rest fall in line and obey the EU.  If Cypress prevails without much pain, look out below.

Cdad's picture

Cosmic Bunny Hole

Translation:  Cypriot bankers and bureaucrats need more time to arrange outbound flights prior to passing legislation to steal deposits for the purpose of bailing out moar bad banks.

peter4805's picture

Long lamp posts!

toys for tits's picture

Didn't they just stress test Cyprus' banks 18 months ago?

Fuck the Troika.

timbo_em's picture

They also tested Dexia which was one of the best banks in that test.

SheepDog-One's picture

Stressless tests of fantasy....just a couple weeks ago didn't they declare stressless test here were all good, except for GMAC/Ally gubment bank?

All just fantasy 100%.

monopoly's picture

And....Have a nice day. :-)

McMolotov's picture


machineh's picture


Last week they wanted 6.75% from the under-100K crowd. Down from 40%.

Now they say zero percent, with a crocodile smile.

If you trust these larcenous racketeers, you will lose everything.

Non Passaran's picture

Glad that you said it so I don't have to!

The government's plan B sounds better.


Day_Of_The_Tentacle's picture

Yeah, my jaw just dropped a little bit more on that one. The hypocracy is stunning.

WallowaMountainMan's picture

from what i have read, the ecb et al position was to take the money from all over 100k and none under 100k. the pres of cypr was the one that insisted on less than 10% on the over, the rest of the % from the under. (methinkest cronism, protect his big donors). the pres thought he could 'deliver' that, but alas, for him, not.

this is consistent with the whole scenario. for example, when the cyp parliament voted no, the pres and his party had to abstain or vote against what they had originally forced out of the ecb et al. they knew it would get out. had they not authored the proposal, they could have voted against it and cursed the ecb et al for being, well, monsters.

for one to say that ecb et al started with a % for the gauranteed under 100k crowd would be to say the ecb et al voluntarily decided to destroy the ecb et al credibility in one fell swoop. an unlikely scenario imo. more likely they thought the pres could deliver; in any event the world cb's have no choice to backstop the ecb et al.

even russia.


kaiserhoff's picture

Did Mel Brooks write this shit,  or wut?

StychoKiller's picture

More like Joseph Heller ("Catch-22")

upWising's picture

How do you say CLUSTERFUCK in Greek?  

Ourrulersknowbest's picture

Lies ,lies and damn lies!!!!!

thismarketisrigged's picture

this whole thing is a major disaster, there is no hope for cyprus. scary thing for europe is this is just the beggining, spain and italy are still majorily fucked as well and will face a similar problem down the road.


cant say i feel bad for the bankers though

machineh's picture

The French are the ones insisting the most vociferously that Cyprus is a 'special case.'

For obvious reasons.

drink or die's picture

Word on the street is that Spain is airlifting in shipments of Spiderman beach towels to help renew confidence in the banks.

Key-Rick's picture

+ 1 just for your handle.

kito's picture

gosh those ratings companies are so dang prescient.........

chubbyjjfong's picture

Thanks S&P.. You bunch of fucking retarded cock suckers. As if anyone gives a flying fuck what you assholes say.

Rathmullan's picture

Yeah, well at least S&P said something, and that while being sued by obama's hack pitbull at injustice". As oppossed to the obama ass lickin pos rating agency controlled by the senile whoracle of omaha that's named after a bible institute.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Good thing the SEC is protecting us from the opinion of Egan-Jones on this matter. They could have said something unharmonious and started a panic.