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The Joke's On Cyprus After All

Tyler Durden's picture


Oh the irony:

18/01/2008, Trichet: "For a small, open economy like Cyprus, Euro adoption provides protection from international financial turmoil."

(h/t @BrunoBrussels)


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Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:36 | 3358360 Cdad
Cdad's picture

...and 1.1 millioin more folks find themselves Triche'd.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:37 | 3358365 RacerX
RacerX's picture

so this is the EU translation of being "Corzined"?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:38 | 3358371 redpill
redpill's picture

Sounds like their Euro membership just got rehypothecated.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:43 | 3358412 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Vaporized is the word that came to my mind.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:52 | 3358471 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

Wow... this just corraled thoughts for a global currency.  Complete bullshit.  Getting back to Sovereign countries.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358497 redpill
redpill's picture

You could be a very responsible person, diligently planning ahead, big savings account, thinking about the future.  But if you rely on that system, at any moment they who control the money can turn you into a beggar overnight.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:01 | 3358567 localsavage
localsavage's picture

Then again, you had money in the bank making shit interest and being devalued by massive printing as your way of saving for your future.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:35 | 3358792 macholatte
macholatte's picture


Then again it was the people with the guns who make the laws who told you what was safe and how to be a good sheeple and have a long happy life and you listened to them. In fact, "they" believed it themselves.

Soros must have the biggest hard on right now he doesn't even need any viagra. 

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:53 | 3358875 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

It's open season on the euro currency.  It's the only one left that's non-trivially difficult to manipulate, ergo, that motherfucker is getting steamrolled.  

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 19:09 | 3359765 tooktheredpill
tooktheredpill's picture

Trichet should become a stand up comedian - I'd pay good money to go see him

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:41 | 3359151 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Big time, this is going to end real badly for the govt..

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:39 | 3358382 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

A good question is:: why is Corzine free and unindicted?

A better question would be: was hasn't someone already fragged that Corzine motherfucker?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:41 | 3358393 Vashta Nerada
Vashta Nerada's picture

Bundler, the new get-out-of-jail-free card.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 00:44 | 3360767 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Fragged- one of the praetorian guard backstabs the MF'er. (Pun intended)

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:51 | 3358464 DosZap
DosZap's picture

According to Sinclair this is going global,and BERNIE is now leaving the post.He will not seek election back to the position he holds.

He is GETTING the hell out, as this trainwreck is headed our way, and does not want to be around when it happens.

Read the interview on King World News.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:52 | 3358474 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Hey..   " When it get's serious, you have to lie "  JCJ

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:37 | 3358366 notbot
notbot's picture

When it becomes serious, you have to lie

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:48 | 3358441 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Sex, Lies, and ECB Lies.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:50 | 3358457 holgerdanske
holgerdanske's picture

When it gets really serious, I will lie down and think of my gold, nicely planted near the appletree, while the rest have a go at the ATM with a bulldozer.;-)

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:04 | 3358585 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

When you fuck things up on purpose, you have to die.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:40 | 3358384 Vashta Nerada
Vashta Nerada's picture

They thought they were being inoculated, when in fact they were being infected.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358498 Jena
Jena's picture

You really don't know what is in that vaccination.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:02 | 3358916 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

Pretty sure it involves "bunga bunga".  

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:12 | 3358991 Jena
Jena's picture

In that case, there isn't much left to the imagination.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:47 | 3358436 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Just let the Russians turn Cyprus into a nuclear missile base and everything will be fine .....   for WW3.  

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:26 | 3359074 Dr. Kenneth Noi...
Dr. Kenneth Noisewater's picture

Womp womp!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:39 | 3358381 skistroni
skistroni's picture

It obviously does not provide protection against intra-national Eurozone turmoil or, to put it more bluntly, fuck-ups. 

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:40 | 3358386 Moe Hamhead
Moe Hamhead's picture

Now that's funny!!!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:40 | 3358387 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Is Trichet Corzines' clone?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:47 | 3358434 machineh
machineh's picture

I thought Trichet was doing a stand-up comedy tour with Greenspan.

But maybe he went back to playing piano in a Paris whorehouse.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:00 | 3358907 sessinpo
sessinpo's picture

I find this type of comment interesting as I don't see the comparison.


Corzine was/is a liberal incompetent thief that probably broke laws by co-mingaling client assets with company assets to cover bets.


Trichet is part of a mob banking cartel that is now trying to force its customers (the ones that borrowed and spent more then then could afford) to pay up.


Yes, both are thieves and need to be at least thrown out of office or position of power and face some other additional punishment.  Corzine blatantly stole from customers to cover his own bad bets just like Madoff. In the situation of Cyprus and most other EU nations, those governments (usually democratically elected with some exception) willingly participated and borrowed and spent beyond their means. The Central Banks are nothing more then Financial Mobsters. Yes they are bad, but they didn't steal by loaning. They steal by devaluating the currency. Cyprus faces a situation of not being able to repay loans like other EU nations. This is nothing different then in the US. We have this massive deficit because the American public continues to vote in these liberal politicians (many of them republicans) for decades that ran up these debts.  This is the bed America has made for itself as well as Cyprus and Greeece and ....


You get into bed with mobsters, well what do you expect?


I feel bad for those citizens. Most were fooled. But isn't that why they want to dumb down the population and keep them gun free? Isn't that what they are trying to do here in America?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:41 | 3358389 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"Said the Spider to the Fly."

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:40 | 3358390 vintageyz
vintageyz's picture

A bit of Blue Oyster Cult comes to mind...

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:41 | 3358391 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

you fucked up... you trusted us!

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:45 | 3358425 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

You shouldn't a dun that. What were you thinking? I'm ME after all.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:55 | 3358509 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

All that's left to do is to have a parade.  Can I buy 10,000 marbles?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:41 | 3358392 PUD
PUD's picture

Oh let's praise his holy name! Thank you money gods! Thank you for everything!  Troika trinity amen

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:42 | 3358395 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

"At this juncture, however, the impact on the broader economy and financial markets of the problems in the subprime market seems likely to be contained."


                       The Bernank

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:41 | 3358397 Debugas
Debugas's picture

i thought cyprus government and parliament people are more clever and they understand the situation (namely that their banks are dead). But it seems they are clueless and still do not understand that simple fact - their banks were destroyed by the troika by the very simple suggestion of "levy on deposits".

If i were in cyprus parliament i would sue the troika for destroying cyprus banks with intentional rumours of defaults thus causing the run on the banks

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:42 | 3358400 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Sounds a lot like a protection racket?   

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:42 | 3358402 Cursive
Cursive's picture

The quotes we'll be replaying on BernanQE once he's gone will make this look like cake and tea.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:45 | 3358422 Bingfa
Bingfa's picture

I bet Pension funds are about to get raped also...

"Among the other options, nationalizing pension funds of semi-public companies could yield between 2 billion and 3 billion euros. Issuing bonds linked to future natural gas revenue is problematic because pumping any gas is years away."

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:46 | 3358427 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

What they really meant:

"For a small, open economy like Cyprus, Euro adoption provides a clear path for takeover by bankster assholes."

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:48 | 3358437 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



...a clear path for takeover by Russian oligarches.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:47 | 3358435 walküre
walküre's picture

I would have believed him in January 2008. But then again, I believed in alot of hyperbole back then.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:49 | 3358449 Ham-bone
Ham-bone's picture

Staaaaabillllliteeeeee!!!  No???

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:49 | 3358452 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

The Daily Ticker's Lauren Lyster discusses Texas' proposed gold legislation.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:32 | 3358772 Darksky
Darksky's picture

Thanks for the link. Contacting my Texas representative right now and telling him to vote for this.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:49 | 3358454 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Why isn't ZH snarking out the Obama speech in Israel today?  Calls for some Thursday humor...

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:55 | 3358506 falak pema
falak pema's picture

well he did  say some unusual things !

For an american Potus, not for a normal human being.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:52 | 3358458 falak pema
falak pema's picture

You may have noticed that the Cypriots do not want to leave the EU.

But they have been bamboozled by these banks and then humiliated by the Troika and the EU.

So lets see if the Ruskis will have an investment package to propose worth 5.8 B euros between now and next Monday.

It is interesting to compare the punishment meted out/proposed  by the EU on Greece/Cyprus :

1° Geece : Immediate dimunition of 30% of salaries, min wage 400 E!, Layoffs imposed > 150000. Total instantaneous abject economic debasement of the common man for two generations of workers; and for how long?

2° Cyprus : Wealth tax on bank deposits, one off, but no drastic economic measures.

Both measures are ad hoc and antisocial, but which is worse?

On an economic basis : Undoubtedly Greece!

On a psychological and principled basis : Cyprus (ad hoc private wealth confiscation and its contagion tsunami!)

The EU has strange ways to protect its core banks....

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:06 | 3358604 chubbar
chubbar's picture

Just guessing at some of this myself but they have to take the cuts in order to have a chance at solvency. They should go back to a sovereign currency and develop the gas fields with the assistance of some deep pockets that won't attempt to interject themselves into the countries politics (yeah I know, fat chance). That should allow for them to come out of this in a few years instead of becoming slaves forever.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 18:31 | 3359613 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

They're doing just about anything to avoid amping the printers to "ridiculous speed!"

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:54 | 3358489 newworldorder
newworldorder's picture

The great european bankster lie.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:55 | 3358503 samsara
samsara's picture

Back to Bluto's(John Blushi)  Remark to Dorfman in Animal House...

" It's Your own fault Flounder,   You shouldn't have trusted us."

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:56 | 3358518 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

Exact quote was, "hey, you fucked up, you trusted us."

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 14:57 | 3358533 toys for tits
Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:01 | 3358563 gwar5
gwar5's picture

But the EU carnival barkers were all so nice.....

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:02 | 3358574 frenchie
frenchie's picture

Fuck you trichet le tricheur

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:08 | 3358611 geotrader
geotrader's picture


18/01/2008, Trichet: "For a small, open economy like Cyprus, Euro adoption provides protection from international financial turmoil."


How about international banksters/thieves?


Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:17 | 3358679 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

All EU leaders should be made to put their life savings in a Spanish bank.


They are next.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:27 | 3358747 little buddy bu...
little buddy buys the dips's picture

with "protection" like this, who needs enemies?

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 15:33 | 3358775 Arthur
Arthur's picture

I still do not get it.  Why penalize those within the insured minimium and why not wack those with accounts above the minimium.

How many readers maintain bank accounts above the FDIC levels?  It is not by individual but rather bank by bank.  

Presumabbly they were getting a higher return for a greater risk.  If not, the more fools they.

But then I am still mystified Ireland said they would back their BK banks.  Why?  Let them fail and reopen them the next day.  Why save "the bank bond holders" as a seperate class from all other investors?



Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:14 | 3358996 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Well Cyprus.....if you can't spot the sucker at the poker table,,,,,,,,,,,,then he's probably in a line at an ATM, 35 deep, waiting to get cash to reload.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:29 | 3359096 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

None of this stuff is "one -off" unless the system changes.

None of it.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 16:42 | 3359162 GreatUncle
GreatUncle's picture

That one liner is going into the history books ... for all the wrong reasons.

Thu, 03/21/2013 - 18:59 | 3359723 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Euro adoption provides protection

Sort of like the protection you get from Vinny, which you better pay for on time each week or else he beats the shit out of you, rapes your sister, and burns down your shop.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 06:07 | 3361144 TruthHunter
TruthHunter's picture

The EU probably needs to listen to this video. They shouldn't underestimate the Russian.  When a

culture has the highest percentage of psychopaths....

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!