ECB To Set "Fair" Cypriot Standard Of Living Via Capital Controls

Tyler Durden's picture

As Europe wakes up to what could be a tumultuous day, Handelsblatt reports that the ECB has decided that, due to the "great danger" of a bank run once they reopen next week, it will enforce capital controls independently of Cypriot (elected) officials. With perhaps a nod towards negotiating some ELA funding for Cypriot banks next week (if the government accepts this ECB-enforced 'program'), the rather stunning restrictions on people's private property include:

  • Freezing Savings - no time-frame (it's not your money anymore)
  • Make bank transfers dependent on Central Bank approval (a money tzar?)
  • Lower ATM withdrawal limits (spend it how we say?)

The capital controls will be designed "so that citizens have access to sufficient cash to go about their lives." So, there it is, a European Union imposed decision on just how much money each Cypriot can spend per day. Wasn't it just last week, we were told Europe is fixed?

 

Handelsblatt cites unidentified central bank sources so we wonder whether this is yet another strawman shot across the bow as the Cypriot government heads in for an early start of discussions at 10am (GMT)

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Cult_of_Reason's picture

While Cypriot banks are set to remain closed until Tuesday, orders have been placed to withdraw billions of euros as soon as business reopens, the source said.

http://www.globalpost.com/dispatch/news/afp/130321/eu-calls-cyprus-set-capital-controls-source

The EU source said withdrawals of seven billion euros were rumoured with fears the cash bleeding could be even more severe.

 

 

wee-weed up's picture

Here, here's a few coins... just enough to buy yourself a nice bowl of gruel.

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

In contest for stupid, ECB is win. Tough competition for Bernanke, Geithner, and Barry, but in end ECB more massively stupid.

Boris is get popcorn and soda (Golubchy and Vodka) and is sit ready for show - should be bloody, sure to be sequel cast in other Euro states!

Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Your mind is totally controlled
It has been stuffed into my mold
And you will do as you are told
Until the rights to you are sold

- Uncle Frank (Zappa)

 

otto skorzeny's picture

frank was CIA so he would know about mind control

CrashisOptimistic's picture

This shit is astonishing.  They are really going to dictate bank policy in a sovereign country, explicitly and overtly.

And the ZH mantra continues:

Nothing will change until bullets go into brains.

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Boris is large Frank Zappa fan! Still is has bootleg 8-Track of Garage of Joe.

"This is central scrutinizer!"

fockewulf190's picture

The twentieth century started off in chaos and mass death, resulting into one twisted man's rant; "Mein Kampf". Tens of millions would later die because of that ideology.

The twenty first century is also starting off with chaos and mass death, but the new rant soon to be written will be named "Mein Geld".

What kind of fiscal future will a Fourth Reich bring? How twisted will the fiscal ideology be? And how many hundreds of millions will be sacrificed this time around?

mick_richfield's picture

Aber hier ist das Vierten Reich ja schon.

Unser festung Europa mit Wände aus Geld, das wird für tausend Jahre stehen.

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

Unser festung Europa mit Wände aus Geld, das wird für tausend Jahre stehen.

...or until one of those "highly improbable" once-in-a-thousand-year economic events occurs, which lately have been happening at least once every two or three years.

AldousHuxley's picture

HALF of deposits are from non-residents.

And #1 export was banking and loans to Greece....

 

they deserve a hair cut and more.

 

do an iceland and they will be able to earn an honest living through tourism.

 

 

sadmamapatriot's picture

The Russians told them to take a hike so now they are saying "America (has an) obligation to assist"! Just like a freaking drug addict desperate for his next fix.

http://famagusta-gazette.com/coordinated-effort-of-hellenes-undertakes-a...

BTW, I 100% agree with you.

JohnnyBriefcase's picture

I can't wait until today around 3:30-4:00pm. Then well get the real announcement!

 

WOOOOOOOO!!!

GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

 

Welcome to the Hotel Cyprus, you can checkout anytime you'd like....but your money can never leave.

clymer's picture

 

When American corporate heads want access to natural resources, they coordinate with the controlled military and media industrial complex, use paid for politicians and stage a false flag event to rally the sheeple into supporting invasion.

 

When Euro corpo-crats want access to natural resources, they introduce the IMF riot to set the stage for tear down and reconstruction. This tiny island nation and its' off shore oil and gas fields will now be divvied up between European and Russian corporates

 

Vampyroteuthis infernalis's picture

Those ECB douches can stop individual account holders from withdrawing money. It will be the counterparties that will kill the bank any ways. Counterparties will freeze any and all transactions with the banks and poof!, liquidity will vanish. Night night banks.

nmewn's picture

And...apparently multiple ID's are now a must-have when banking on Cyprus...or electronically banking anywhere these days.

I can see the guys on the security camera now..."Saaay...wasn't this "citizen" just here at the ATM five minutes ago?" 

So don't forget your black spray paint for the camera lens, Cypri-bitchez ;-)

XitSam's picture

Long Caterpillar D9s. The ATM freedom tool.

Bobbyrib's picture

They could just do what our banks do and restrict how much you are allowed to withdraw from the ATM on a business day.

BooMushroom's picture

Or they would, if anybody could get to their money to pay it!

Catch-22, bitchez!

Opinionated Ass's picture

I think you are referring to the Golden Rule, ja?

He who has the gold makes the rules. Which isn't all bad is it? I decide to fire either Home Depot or Lowes when I ponder where to buy a new power tool with my money. A rich German businessman will build his factory in Romania or Bulgaria, depending on who has the right capital control rules.

Richard Chesler's picture

He begins to feel depressed now. He knows the end is near. He has realized at last that imaginary economies and imaginary recoveries exist only in the mind of The Imaginer ...and ... ultimately, who gives a fuck anyway...

thisandthat's picture

The Central "Scarutinizer"

 

Act I

PRELUDE

Desperate nerds in high offices all over the world have been known to enact the most disgusting pieces of legislation in order to win votes (or, in places where they don't get to vote, to control unwanted forms of mass behavior).
Environmental laws were not passed to protect our air and water... they were passed to get votes. Seasonal anti-smut campaigns are not conducted to rid our communities of moral rot... they are conducted to give an aura of saintliness to the office-seekers who demand them. If a few key phrases are thrown into any speech (as the expert advisors explain to these various heads of state) votes will roll in, bucks will roll in, and, most importantly, power will be maintained by the groovy guy (or gal) who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay too.
All governments perpetuate themselves through the daily commission of act which a rational person might find to be stupid or dangerous (or both). Naturally, our government is no exception... for instance, if the President (any one of them) went on TV and sat there with the flag in the background (or maybe a rustic scene on a little backdrop, plus the flag) and stared sincerely into the camera and told everybody that all energy problems and all inflationary problems had been traced to and could be solved by the abolition of MUSIC, chances are that most people would believe him and think that the illegalization of this obnoxious form of noise pollution would be a small price to pay for the chance to buy gas like the good ol' days. No way? Never happen? Records are made out of oil. All those big rock shows go from town to town in fuel-gobbling 45 foot trucks... and when they get there, they use up enormous amounts of electrical energy with their lights, their amplifiers, their PA systems... their smoke machines. And all those synthesizers... look at all the plastic they got in 'em... and the guitar picks...you name it...
JOE'S GARAGE is a stupid story about how the government is going to try to do away with music (a prime cause of unwanted mass behavior! It's sort of like a really cheap kind of high school play...the way it might have been done 20 years ago, with all the sets made out of cardboard boxes and poster paint. It's also like those lectures that local narks used to give (where they show you a display of all the different ways you can get wasted, with the pills leading to the weed leading to the needle, etc., etc.).
If the plot of the story seems just a little bit preposterous, and if the idea of The Central Scrutinizer enforcing laws that haven't been passed yet makes you giggle, just be glad you don't live in one of the cheerful little countries where, at this very moment, music is either severely restricted... or, as it is in Iran, totally illegal.

SCENE ONE
ENTRANCE OF THE CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER

Sometimes when you're not looking he just sneaks up on you. He looks like a cheap sort of flying saucer about five feet across with a snout-like megaphone apparatus in the front with two big eyes mounted like Appletons with miniature motorized frowning chrome eyebrows over them. Along the side of his disc-like body are several sets of stupid looking headers and exhaust hoses which apparently propel him and punctuate his dialogue with horrible smelling smoke rings. In the middle of his head we can see an airport wind sock and constantly twirling anemometer. The bottom of him has a landing light and three spoked wheels. In spite of all this, it is obvious that the way he really gets around is by being dangled from place to place by a union guy with a dark green shirt up in the roof who is eating a sandwich (pieces of which drop off every once in a while and lodge themselves near the hole where they put the oil in that makes the cheap smoke). He hovers into view and speaks to us thusly...

CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER:
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER... it is my responsibility to enforce all the laws that haven't been passed yet. It is also my responsibility to alert each and every one of you to the potential consequences of various ordinary everyday activities you might be performing which could eventually lead to The Death Penalty (or affect your parents' credit rating). Our criminal institutions are full of little creeps like you who do wrong things... and many of them were driven to these crimes by a horrible force called MUSIC! Our studies have shown that this horrible force is so dangerous to society at large that laws are being drawn up at this very moment to stop it forever! Cruel and inhuman punishments are being carefully described in tiny paragraphs so they won't conflict with the Constitution (which, itself, is being modified in order to accommodate THE FUTURE).
I bring you now a special presentation to show what can happen to you if you choose a career in MUSIC . . . The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only. . . if you have to load or unload, go to the WHITE ZONE... you'll love it... it's a way of life . . .
This is the CENTRAL SCRUTINIZER...The WHITE ZONE is for loading and unloading only... (etc.)

Supernova Born's picture

Putin was/is KGB and 67% of Cypriots (according to RT) want to leave the euro and align with Russia.

Russia will not respond well to dumping the "hot potato" of Cyprus in its lap. Europe better get ready to catch the as yet unknown hot potato Russia chucks back Europe's way.

This is starting to look like the type of black swan event that changes the course of world history.

Non Passaran's picture

I don't think so but I hope so.
Got gold?

Supernova Born's picture

Assrash Lady (sp?), "Chief Global" something at City Index just said on Bloomberg that gold is going under $1500.

I trust Assrash and would buy Gold Bond Powder before I'd buy Au.

Supernova Born's picture

Just saw a German MP of Merkel's party on Bloomberg.

It seems clear to me Germany wants to see Cyprus "resign" from the euro or force Cyprus to endure a bare butt caning in the middle of the "euro schoolyard" EVEN IF Cyprus agrees to the all the ECB/German terms.

Little Cyprus, the runt of the euro, will be made an EXAMPLE regardless of what choice they make.

Cyprus is being made an example, not because Cyprus matters, but because Greece, Italy etc. seem to be increasingly resistant to ECB/German austerity demands.

Cyprus will be SAVAGELY punished even if they agree OR they will be forced to leave the euro.

Germany doesn't care about Cyprus, they mean to instill FEAR in the PIIGS and instill confidence in the German electorate that there is a very harsh penalty to be paid if ECB/German authority is not respected.

Problem is...the rest of the euro is watching and the unintended consequences of this are exceedingly virulent.

20-20 Hindsight's picture

If that's the plan, Supernova, then it's going to backfire... at least, I sure as hell hope it will.  I can't see how any (so-called) sovereign nation would put up with this crap.  

What is this fucking Eurozone anyway?  It was an ill-fated project from the get-go. 

Fuck the banksters, fuck the eurocrats and fuck the horse they rode on.

 

Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

~"...67% of Cypriots (according to RT) want to leave the euro and align with Russia."~

And that's living proof the Cypriots are Cypri-idiots, (or at least 67% of them). It's bad enough owing money to the EU, but think for a minute, do you really want to owe money to Russian mobsters? And all the Russians want is the oil & gas exploration rights, da? You know that you are truly screwed when your first statement begins, "Our friends, the Russians..."

xtop23's picture

You are the slime. ( Zappa was a god. Dweezil is actually a damn nice guy as well )

On topic; I don't care what capital controls they put on. They're not going to plug this leak. Confidence, once lost, is like becoming a virgin again. Ain't happening.

Treason Season's picture

Just saying.

 

  • Francis Zappa (father) was, in case you were wondering, a chemical warfare specialist assigned to – where else? – the Edgewood Arsenal. Edgewood is, of course, the longtime home of America’s chemical warfare program, as well as a facility frequently cited as being deeply enmeshed in MK-ULTRA operations.
  • Zappa’s manager, by the way, is a shadowy character by the name of Herb Cohen, who had come out to L.A. from the Bronx with his brother Mutt just before the music and club scene began heating up. Cohen, a former U.S. Marine, had spent a few years traveling the world before his arrival on the Laurel Canyon scene. Those travels, curiously, had taken him to the Congo in 1961, at the very time that leftist Prime Minister Patrice Lumumba was being tortured and killed by our very own CIA.
  • Gail Zappa (wife), known formerly as Adelaide Sloatman. Gail hails from a long line of career Naval officers, including her father, who spent his life working on classified nuclear weapons research for the U.S. Navy.
  • Gail had attended a Naval kindergarten with “Mr. Mojo Risin’” himself, Jim Morrison
  •  
Random's picture

"Laurel Canyon" + 1000, Jim Morrison + 1000 (Golf of Tonkin grin)

Zwelgje's picture

Great, another bubble popped.

SheepDog-One's picture

They can manipulate and patch up fake indexes, but once the confidence is lost they can't get that back.

Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

Inside The LC: The Strange but Mostly True Story of Laurel Canyon and the Birth of the Hippie Generation

http://www.davesweb.cnchost.com/nwsltr93.html

So strange you just couldn't make this shit up. Absolutely fascinating reading. The website is laid out funky, so click the "Home" link at the bottom of the page to go to the next part. Certainly a "holy crap" moment when you get to wonder how deep the rabbit hole goes...

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Handelsblatt cites unidentified central banks sources:

"We are millions and millions,
we're coming to get ya.
We're protected by unions
so don't let it upset ya.
Can't escape the conclusion
it's probably God's will
that civilization
will grind to a standstill.
And we are the people
who will make it all happen,
while your children are sleeping,
your puppy is crappin'."

sunnydays's picture

They should require to be able to get however much the EU commissioners spend each day for their standard of living and what they would allow themselves.  Oh, but wait that is probably more than what each person has in the bank in full.   So the 'elite' will dictate to the lowly servants how much they are allowed per day?   Besides that, what if someone wants to take a vacation?  What if someone wants to buy someone else a gift?  What about the normal things that pop up constantly for houses etc?  This shows what they think of their slaves and what they really think of the people of the world.   

mickeyman's picture

That is the essence of the progressive mindset.

imbtween's picture

never before has a boy wanted more!

wee-weed up's picture

Don't tell them what's in the gruel...

boiled frog

Go Tribe's picture

"Please sir, I want some more."

 

Who'da guessed it would be the bankers, not the government, telling us what we can consume and what we cannot? Well, at least we'll have fixed targets.

ElvisDog's picture

If you are a Euro and you have more than 1000 Euros in any European bank then you are an idiot who deserves to lose his money (or more accurately have his money kidnapped). There is no upside to keeping money in a bank with zero percent interest rates, and short of air raid sirens going off the potential risks are being demonstrated in Cyprus about as loud as possible.

otto skorzeny's picture

are there seriously that many paper euros out there or is it all 1s and 0s?

sunaJ's picture

Cash is King in Cyprus, currently.

I am not one that believes that the 2008 crisis was engineered.  The squeeze of LB was probably intentional, but their arrogance did not lead them to see that it would nearly arrest the entire system.  That was my belief then, it is my belief now. 

 

Again, we are entering what seems to me to be at least as momentous an event as LB of 2008.  Again, we probably have, by a bunch of eurocrats, a squeeze on what they thought was an easy target (small country with large foreign deposits).  In their arrogance, they thought they could get their way again and here we are. 

 

They will repeat this because they are insane with power and blind from their ignorance.  They will try to control and get their way even as each attempt  represents only more force and less control.  The Law of Unintended Consequences is kryptonite to central power.  But don't expect them to recognize their insanity (by definition).

otto skorzeny's picture

but CNBC told me what happens in europe stays in europe-even though the US is propping their banks up

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Well, if CNBC is say, is must be true! (laugh as vodka exudes through Boris' sinus feature)

StychoKiller's picture

BOHICA!!  Need we say anything more?

machineh's picture

The EU's plan to allow Cypriots 'enough cash to go about their lives' resembles Israel's policy of 'putting the Gazans on a diet without starving them.'