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Euro Surges On Optimism Cyprus To Be "Fixed" In Hours

Tyler Durden's picture




 

EURUSD (and implicitly the algo-connected S&P 500 futures market) is surging on the basis of optimism (for the new 'deposit tax plan') from the head of the party that abstained from the previous 'deposit haircut vote'.

  • *CYPRUS'S NEOFYTOU SAYS SITUATION IS DIFFICULT
  • *CYPRUS'S NEOFYTOU EXPRESSES CAUTIOUS OPTIMISM

It seems 'cautious optimism' is contagious but the irony of this politician's two-faced hypocrisy driving any market reaction is mind-numbing. EUR has broken above 1.30, Italian and Spanish bonds are rallying, and Italian stocks are now green for the week.

 

President Nicos Anastasiades' ruling DISI party has said a solution satisfactory to the troika may be possible within hours. Speaking to reporters, deputy leader Averof Neophytou said: There is cautious optimism that in the next few hours we may be able to reach an agreed platform so parliament can approve these specific measures which will be consistent with the approach, the framework and the targets agreed at the last Eurogroup.

 

 

 

Charts: Bloomberg

 

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Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:25 | 3361898 machineh
machineh's picture

Buy the mushroom cloud.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:32 | 3361935 whatsinaname
whatsinaname's picture

What are the Texans upto ? Buying their own gold.

http://finance.yahoo.com/blogs/daily-ticker/texas-may-start-hoarding-gol...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:38 | 3361965 quintago
quintago's picture

Effin Cypridiots.....Why don't they just offer to exchange shares in a national gas company for 10% of their deposits.

They not only get the Germans/EU off their back, but they've managed to convert crap paper into a hard asset.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:45 | 3361978 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Oh Please!

Just wash, rince, recycle...all banks

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:59 | 3362051 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Cyprus, From "Door mat of the outhouse" to "Toilet seat of the kings".

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:41 | 3361988 jeebus
jeebus's picture

Perry is determined to be the President of Texas because he couldn't be president of USA.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:42 | 3361992 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

We're gonna take EVERY SINGLE BUISNESS...........................

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:35 | 3361949 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Guys look! Here comes Jesus on a unicorn!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:44 | 3362000 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Is he sitting on the saddle or on the horn?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:47 | 3362016 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

He's wearing the Golden Fleece and holding the goose that lays golden eggs...everyone is rich beeotchez!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:54 | 3362357 Pontius
Pontius's picture

WTFWJDFAKB

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:49 | 3362024 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

At this point, I believe a worldwide nuclear war would send the DJIA to 30000. Just think of all the vaporized windows!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:26 | 3361900 Stonedog
Stonedog's picture

Wow - what is this - the fifth or fiftieth plan to "save" Cyprus since Saturday?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:47 | 3362019 akarc
akarc's picture

And this is what financial markets are made of?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:51 | 3362042 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

cyprus doesn't matter remember....according to fink....so it must be something else moving the markets like a roaring global economy /s

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:58 | 3362074 BeaverFever
BeaverFever's picture

And I believe that Reggie Love and Obama just hold hands.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:31 | 3361928 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Great pic!  I think a more appropriate caption is "I find your lack of faith disturbing."

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:26 | 3361903 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Stolper is wetting and shitting himself.  

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:29 | 3361920 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

No he isn't.  He raped the muppets and the squid made off just fine thank you......

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:27 | 3361909 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

nothing like putting a band-aid on a shotgun wound

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:28 | 3361913 MountainMan
MountainMan's picture
Alberta man may be first to sell house for bitcoin virtual currency

 

http://business.financialpost.com/2013/03/21/canadian-bitcoin-house-for-...

 

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:43 | 3361999 jeebus
jeebus's picture

As long as he's diversified in other things I think it's fantastic.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:28 | 3361918 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

All this madness over some shitty pieces of paper...the whole world has gone insane.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:29 | 3361921 nokomarie
nokomarie's picture

I think we're talking "fixed" in the veterinarial sense...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:46 | 3361990 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

"Now don't you worry about that injured horse, folks.  Here at the rodeo we have some of the finest veterinari_BANG!_ans in the entire county."

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:42 | 3361997 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Perhaps it's the veneral sense as in "I had herpes once but it got fixed."

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:49 | 3362032 akarc
akarc's picture

or at least venerial

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:30 | 3361926 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

The new backup plan is all Cypriots are to sell one organ.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:34 | 3361948 Rip van Wrinkle
Rip van Wrinkle's picture

Don't give these f*ckers any more ideas, please.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:52 | 3362046 akarc
akarc's picture

Fer sure, their already repossessing balls

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:31 | 3361929 vote_libertaria...
vote_libertarian_party's picture

So I take it the 'talks break down' news will be announced at 4:01 ET.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:53 | 3362053 akarc
akarc's picture

Oh come on now. Such a scenario would lead to rumours that the markets are fixed and some engaged in insider trading.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:32 | 3361934 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

"Fixed" like a junkie gets a fix.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:48 | 3362021 SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

High Grade Hopium being mainlined over there.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:32 | 3361938 DrDinkus
DrDinkus's picture

been sitting on my hands all week...are we crazy for knowing that this can only end poorly? sometimes i wonder if i've become stuck in my EU crisis obsessed mind...just dont see a can for them to kick this time

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:33 | 3361941 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

SELL THE NEWS and short the market 100%

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:33 | 3361942 magpie
magpie's picture

As if they would make it easy to trade the Euro's end

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:35 | 3361951 razorthin
razorthin's picture

The lowest volume pump I've seen on the ES.  After an hour I still see no volume bar on the hourly chart.  Fuck you Bernanke.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:36 | 3361955 Rip van Wrinkle
Rip van Wrinkle's picture

Just one question. Has anyone thought what may happen when the banks reopen? Or will they never reopen??

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:45 | 3362003 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

No one knows...but all is WELL!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:34 | 3362271 tsx500
tsx500's picture

my best guess is that when they reopen it's quite bullish.   but if for some reason they never reopen, then i'll be turning bullish .

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:35 | 3361956 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

the Germans need the weaker euro members to keep the Euro cheap-otherwise the Euro would rip higher and the Germans-being an exporter-would be screwed

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:36 | 3361957 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

We have already seen this movie.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:41 | 3361987 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@Seasmoke

Every day, all day.  They have inventory to offload, so ramp it they must.   Ramp and sell!  Ramp and sell!  The bucket shop is taking on water! Bail, lads!  Bail with all your might!  Ramp and sell!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:35 | 3361958 B2u
B2u's picture

Agreed platform?  Who's gallos are being built for a hanging?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:17 | 3362454 Anglo Hondo
Anglo Hondo's picture

Are we hanging winos now, or just whiners?

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:38 | 3361970 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

supermarkets running out of food because suppliers demanding cash.

This should end well.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:40 | 3361971 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The whole world can be supported by fake rumors of optimism alone!! In fact, it's BETTER than an actual economy! I'm all 'OMG'!

Yea sure...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:39 | 3361975 falak pema
falak pema's picture

Neophytou, apart from having a leading name, is full of "cautious" optimism.

Tea for two..?

Neo, you for me too?

Neo nefretiti nose? 

Its the long and short of poetry in prose.

Pinocchio and pokemon.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:40 | 3361977 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

As look closer at the rainbows, unicorns and skittles I discover the unicorn is nothing more than a jackass covered in white ceiling paint with a toilet paper tube glued it's forehead, those rainbows are just chemtrail fart smoke blowing out the unicorn's ass and the skittles are painted jackass droppings.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:45 | 3362001 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@Dewey Cheatum Howe

LOL.  Sobriety will do that to you.  Obama prescribes one whiskey, one bourbon and one beer for you.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:45 | 3362007 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

And Biden prescribes a shotgun

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:41 | 3361984 Agent P
Agent P's picture

My dog was excited before he got "fixed" too.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:46 | 3362012 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

YEA he thought he heard you say he was gonna get 'tutored'.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:43 | 3361993 IamtheREALmario
IamtheREALmario's picture

Has Stolper been stopped out yet?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:42 | 3361994 SDRII
SDRII's picture

Swedish auto maker Volvo has uncovered widespread cheating by its car dealers in China, where retailers inflated sales to win cash rebates from the company for hitting volume targets.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:45 | 3362002 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

Right. Some guy working in the basement of Cyprus finance ministry says he is cautiously optimistic that the Cyprus bailout could be agreed on, and the whole world over runs to buy Italian and Spanish bonds as if they were mithril.

Very sound markets. Very sound...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:46 | 3362010 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Ok so the Russians Neophyte Neofytou to fuck off, and now the Cypriot brain trust is back talking to the ECB dbags (LaGrade is geting fisted by a Parisian transgender on orders from the Cartel).

So the Russians have told the ECB NOT to fuck them on the hair cut (10% is acceptable), and giventhat the Russins will not bail out the Cypriots...AND the Russians will continue the flow of Nat Gas to Europe. So Cyprus becomes Greece overnight.....and crisis is papered over again...

S&P is ready for another ramp....Bernanke begins to tout US Housng stocks...blow bubble blow....

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:47 | 3362018 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Denial ain't just a S&P 500 buying algo.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:50 | 3362034 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Putting Cyprus items up on ebay and Craig's List is plan XX.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:52 | 3362043 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

LOL someone just logged in and down arrowed everyone.

Up arrow for Krugman

Down arrow for Merkel

and just reply with Fuck You Bernanke if you want...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:08 | 3362133 adr
adr's picture

That happened a few days ago. I thought, "Who would downvote that?". Then I saw every comment had a down arrow and laughed.

Like down arrows will kill everyone on Zero Hedge.

Must be Krugman thinking we are in Kindergarten. I'll call him a poo poo head and he'll go cry in the corner and we'll never see him on the playground again.

I don't give a shit anymore. I've had people yell, "Hey asshole" and I've turned and said, "Yes, what?"

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:53 | 3362047 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

CNBC has just down voted all comments on ZH...people are watching ZH and not CNBC commercials.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:54 | 3362050 Mordenkainen
Mordenkainen's picture

Welcome to today's markets, where hints of rumors are as fundamental as it gets.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:54 | 3362055 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

I hope no one in Spain heard about that Cypriot pensioner who was taking her money out of her account every Friday afternoon. It might give them some ideas about what to do this afternoon.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:55 | 3362057 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

All that's left to decide is who's money to steal and how much should be stolen from each person.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:58 | 3362073 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

late friday news ramp in mid morning-- there's an inverse [classical adverse?] functionality at play... this won't bode well into the close?

jmo

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:02 | 3362097 adr
adr's picture

Nothing will be fixed, like usual, but they will say it is fixed, like usual, and we will move on to 1700 S&P and Dow 26k.

The Nasdaq has quite a way to go to smash its old record.

Perhaps they can sweep the bad stuff under the rug for at least six months before somebody moves the couch and it appears again.

Real economy be damned. 99.9% of the population be damned, that .1% has got to see 50% gains this year. Bunny needs a new 100 carat diamond necklace.

It will not end until the street runs red with banker blood. They are pretty much daring us to do it. In fact they have skipped the double dog dare and gone straight for the triple.

They see hundreds of people waiting in line to take out a couple hundred euros, instead of seeing hundreds of people with torches burning down the banks. They know they have won.

You are watching a master play with his opponent, giving him the notion he can still win, while the game has already been won for a long time. Asset confiscation is checkmate, they aren't ready to flip the board yet.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:24 | 3362492 whirlybird rules
whirlybird rules's picture

Would love to know the reason behind the person who gave the down arrow to this comment.  (I am the Up arrow :)

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:07 | 3362122 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

There is no greater euphoria than that of a compulsive gambler's face after he just hit a $1,000 jackpot, even if he is still down $10,000 for the day.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:11 | 3362150 adr
adr's picture

Remember, you can never lose as long as you win.

Yeah, you may have bought Netflix at $297 a share, BUT YOU ARE UP 230% IN THE LAST SIX MONTHS. Fuck, that is amazing.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:24 | 3362199 JP McManus
JP McManus's picture

There's certainly one angry red arrow monkey lurking this morning.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:26 | 3362219 JP McManus
JP McManus's picture

That was fast.  

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:39 | 3362285 mdtrader
mdtrader's picture

Because there has been no bad economic or political news out of Europe at all in the last month lol!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:21 | 3362476 whirlybird rules
whirlybird rules's picture

Euro, Italian/Spanish bonds, Italian Stock market are rallying because THEY WANT IT THAT WAY..  question is how much money do these dudes have to spend? 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:44 | 3362614 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

I'm sure the situation will decline......starting at 4:02pm.

Gotta leave the market on a high note!

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