Furious Merkel: "Cyprus’ Decision To Test Europe Is Unacceptable"

Tyler Durden's picture

Europe's paymaster - that would be Germany for those who have not paid attention to events over the past four years - is not used to being snubbed. It certainly is not used to being snubbed by what every empty chatterbox and their kitchen sink will tell you is a "small and irrelevant" country (all the more so in the aftermath of last summer's embarrassing defeat in its head on confrontation with the ECB, in which the Bundesbank showed that sometimes the best offense is a gracious retreat). It most certainly is not used to not being invited to discussions involving the future of its precious mercantilist European union, especially when said union may no longer exist as we know it in 48 short hours. And Germany is angry.

From Bloomberg:

As Russia spurned the island nation’s bid for a loan, Merkel told a closed-door meeting of legislators in Berlin today that she’s annoyed the Cypriot government hasn’t been in touch with the so-called troika of international creditors for days, according to a party official who spoke on condition of anonymity because the briefing was private. Cyprus’s decision to test Europe is unacceptable, she told them.


“We’re not ready to accept solutions that are full of wind,” Michael Fuchs, deputy parliamentary leader of Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union, said after the meeting. “I don’t think it’s appropriate to play poker in this matter, especially when you think that there’s a risk that two banks will become insolvent next Monday.”

In other words, how dare the pesky Cypriots think a "union" is comprised of equal "units", instead of being a despotic tyrrany in which the adjusted version of the golden rule (perhaps explaining why the Buba is pulling all its French and a lot of its NY Fed gold) applies.

Germany will have none of that nonsense.

So while "experts" wait with bated breath for the results of today's Cypriot debate and vote, the reality is it is completely irrelevant, and any of the proposed terms and "resolution" ideas are irrelevant. Why? Because without Germany's blessing (which also means the idea should have originated with Germany in the first place), there is no solution, especially not one that benefits the abovementioned paymaster.

Which means either there is a deposit tax on the wealthy, which was the whole point of this carefully structured, politically punitive exercise, or there is no deal.

Because in Europe, like everywhere else, it is quid (even if it will soon be quit)-pro-quo.

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Badabing's picture

Can you open your mouth without showing your teeth?

duo's picture

if you don't have any

hedgeless_horseman's picture



And Germany is angry.

This usually ends poorly for Europe.

Rubicon's picture

And there goes her re-election!

hedgeless_horseman's picture



Zee Germans are Fuhrerious...

No moar Euros for zee lazee Mediterranians!

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Frau Merkel, die anmaßend Geistig behindert Trüffelsau

Big Slick's picture

How would they have time to call when they’ve been on the phone with Putin non-stop?



hedgeless_horseman's picture



Values are learned at home.

He is (a little) older, now, and trades ForeEx for DB.

Bicycle Repairman's picture

"Germany will have none of that nonsense."

We must let the tanks roll in Europe, so that they do not roll here.

bonderøven-farm ass's picture

"You mustn't act yourself, you must obey, you must give in, you must submit to the overwhelming need to obey...!"

Adolph Merkel 

uncle_vito's picture

Looks like me trading stocks during a Bernenke induced melt up when I am short.

tarsubil's picture

That is actually Angela herself.

Stackers's picture

I guess Cyprus is doing what we all do when we can not pay our credit cards ..... just dont answer the phone anymore !!!

Never One Roach's picture

Cyprus is learning from Americans....

"Just walk away."

Being a Deadbeat is 'cool' these days. Much better and more finaically rewarding then being a 'Beatnik.' Just don't be the creditor/sucka holding the bag.

N. B. Forrest's picture

They don't answer the phone because their busy printing up all of their own money to exchange for euros on Tuesday. 

auntiesocial's picture

I would love to be a fly on the wall when zoes krazy germanz show up at the NY Fed to pick up their physical. that oughtta be a hoot!

Chupacabra-322's picture

@ hedgeless_horseman,

My sentiments exactly!  You know, there are these funny rumors going around that this CUNT is the test tube baby of the Leader of the Furur.

Well anyway,

I think it's about time we go IceLand and demand an orderly arrest of the Global Criminal Cabal (Intelligence/Bankster) Crime Syndicate and their leaders. 

JR's picture

Hedgeless, the euros are an invention of the international bankers. It’s the international bankers who are furious, if anyone is furious.

LFMayor's picture

LOL, yeah, I've read some things about that!

Long Tall Boots.

Never One Roach's picture
Why Texas May Start to Hoard Gold (with the beautiful Lauren Lyster)




Texas legislators pushing to open a "Texas Fort Knox" and allow Texas Teachers' Pension Fund to buy physical gold.



WarriorClass's picture

 $900 million EURO PUT trade on the Euro to crash vs. the dollar within 2 weeks.

Muddy1's picture

@Headless Horseman,


He who has the gold writes the rules.  When the rules aren't followed those who wrote the rules get very angry.

fabmax's picture

This usually ends badly for Germans.

JR's picture

You know what? Hitler, in case anyone hasn’t noticed, is not involved in the EU policy maneuvers. It is the international bankers. And the face of Hitler is nothing but Zionist propaganda.

And WHERE is the face of the Zionist policy makers who would force the people of Europe to wear the ankle chains of debt slavery?

hedgeless_horseman's picture



the face of Hitler is nothing but Zionist propaganda

I don't know, JR, but for whatever reason my Dell computer running Microsoft does not allow Google to search Oracle databases so I can research your outlandish claims.  Maybe I should try a Bloomberg terminal?

Six of the the world's 10 Richest Jews:

Larry Ellison
Michael Bloomberg
Sergey Brin
Lawrence Page
Steven Ballmer
Michael Dell



richard in norway's picture

I don't care if some Jews are wealthy or if all Jews are wealthy. As long as they earned it, it's all good

JR's picture

Houston, we've got a problem. :-)

MSimon's picture

Fooled by the front men again? That is how the crooks always get away with it: The Queen of England deals dope. Who the bagmen are is just a matter of convenience.

TwoShortPlanks's picture

Next stop, MWD Derivative quakes...fingers are poised on the buttons.

This has been an Agenda21 announcement: live long and [make us ] prosper.

Room 101's picture

Not showing teeth is very difficult for sharks and other predators.

TwoShortPlanks's picture

"18 minutes later Merkankels attacked"..."our Banks are not our own, from ECB to IMF we are bound to others"......Europe is having Karmic Financial issues.

Putin = Old Georgie

"The IMF ain't tellin the Tru Tru"

aint no fortunate son's picture

she needs a big knobby 10 inch dildo and a bottle of stoly

TeamDepends's picture

At least they didn't say "Fuhrerous Merkel".

machineh's picture

`I see!' said Queen Angela, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate Cypriots, who ran to Alice for protection.

`You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others.

`Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.

`Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted in reply.

`That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?'

THX 1178's picture

Why, you have some delousing to do? Cuz if you still believe the official story, you have serious perception problems.

LuckoftheIrish's picture

That would be alcohol abd dildo abuse.