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Furious Merkel: "Cyprus’ Decision To Test Europe Is Unacceptable"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Europe's paymaster - that would be Germany for those who have not paid attention to events over the past four years - is not used to being snubbed. It certainly is not used to being snubbed by what every empty chatterbox and their kitchen sink will tell you is a "small and irrelevant" country (all the more so in the aftermath of last summer's embarrassing defeat in its head on confrontation with the ECB, in which the Bundesbank showed that sometimes the best offense is a gracious retreat). It most certainly is not used to not being invited to discussions involving the future of its precious mercantilist European union, especially when said union may no longer exist as we know it in 48 short hours. And Germany is angry.

From Bloomberg:

As Russia spurned the island nation’s bid for a loan, Merkel told a closed-door meeting of legislators in Berlin today that she’s annoyed the Cypriot government hasn’t been in touch with the so-called troika of international creditors for days, according to a party official who spoke on condition of anonymity because the briefing was private. Cyprus’s decision to test Europe is unacceptable, she told them.

 

“We’re not ready to accept solutions that are full of wind,” Michael Fuchs, deputy parliamentary leader of Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union, said after the meeting. “I don’t think it’s appropriate to play poker in this matter, especially when you think that there’s a risk that two banks will become insolvent next Monday.”

In other words, how dare the pesky Cypriots think a "union" is comprised of equal "units", instead of being a despotic tyrrany in which the adjusted version of the golden rule (perhaps explaining why the Buba is pulling all its French and a lot of its NY Fed gold) applies.

Germany will have none of that nonsense.

So while "experts" wait with bated breath for the results of today's Cypriot debate and vote, the reality is it is completely irrelevant, and any of the proposed terms and "resolution" ideas are irrelevant. Why? Because without Germany's blessing (which also means the idea should have originated with Germany in the first place), there is no solution, especially not one that benefits the abovementioned paymaster.

Which means either there is a deposit tax on the wealthy, which was the whole point of this carefully structured, politically punitive exercise, or there is no deal.

Because in Europe, like everywhere else, it is quid (even if it will soon be quit)-pro-quo.

 

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Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:35 | 3361622 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Ze will not disobey.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:35 | 3361623 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Fuck off Bitch

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:39 | 3361643 Badabing
Badabing's picture

Can you open your mouth without showing your teeth?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:41 | 3361664 duo
duo's picture

if you don't have any

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:42 | 3361675 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

And Germany is angry.

This usually ends poorly for Europe.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:44 | 3361683 Rubicon
Rubicon's picture

And there goes her re-election!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:48 | 3361691 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Zee Germans are Fuhrerious...

No moar Euros for zee lazee Mediterranians!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:48 | 3361703 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Frau Merkel, die anmaßend Geistig behindert Trüffelsau

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:52 | 3361728 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

How would they have time to call when they’ve been on the phone with Putin non-stop?

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6T2uBeiNXAo

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:01 | 3361774 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Values are learned at home.

Angela Merkel's kid:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8SWMAQYQf0

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:12 | 3361827 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Values are learned at home.

He is (a little) older, now, and trades ForeEx for DB.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:15 | 3361838 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Now that's TFF :)

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:25 | 3361889 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

"Germany will have none of that nonsense."

We must let the tanks roll in Europe, so that they do not roll here.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:23 | 3362197 bonderøven-farm ass
bonderøven-farm ass's picture

"You mustn't act yourself, you must obey, you must give in, you must submit to the overwhelming need to obey...!"

Adolph Merkel 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:23 | 3361886 uncle_vito
uncle_vito's picture

Looks like me trading stocks during a Bernenke induced melt up when I am short.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:34 | 3362267 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

That is actually Angela herself.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:05 | 3361787 Stackers
Stackers's picture

I guess Cyprus is doing what we all do when we can not pay our credit cards ..... just dont answer the phone anymore !!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:17 | 3362178 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

Cyprus is learning from Americans....

"Just walk away."

Being a Deadbeat is 'cool' these days. Much better and more finaically rewarding then being a 'Beatnik.' Just don't be the creditor/sucka holding the bag.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:28 | 3362515 eatthebanksters
Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:30 | 3362244 N. B. Forrest
N. B. Forrest's picture

They don't answer the phone because their busy printing up all of their own money to exchange for euros on Tuesday. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:57 | 3361754 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

Ja!  whatever he just said.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:50 | 3361714 Cangaroo.TNT
Cangaroo.TNT's picture

Best comment EVER.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:56 | 3361750 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

You owe us some greens!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:03 | 3361779 auntiesocial
auntiesocial's picture

I would love to be a fly on the wall when zoes krazy germanz show up at the NY Fed to pick up their physical. that oughtta be a hoot!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:08 | 3361802 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

It'll go a little something like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRTngtsOY8Q 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:06 | 3361793 SMG
Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:08 | 3362128 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

@ hedgeless_horseman,

My sentiments exactly!  You know, there are these funny rumors going around that this CUNT is the test tube baby of the Leader of the Furur.

Well anyway,

I think it's about time we go IceLand and demand an orderly arrest of the Global Criminal Cabal (Intelligence/Bankster) Crime Syndicate and their leaders. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:51 | 3362340 JR
JR's picture

Hedgeless, the euros are an invention of the international bankers. It’s the international bankers who are furious, if anyone is furious.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:27 | 3363351 Fiat Currency
Fiat Currency's picture

Godwin's law in 7 posts

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:52 | 3361731 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

LOL, yeah, I've read some things about that!

Long Tall Boots.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:24 | 3362188 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture
Why Texas May Start to Hoard Gold (with the beautiful Lauren Lyster)

 

http://ph.news.yahoo.com/video/why-texas-may-start-hoard-171030599.html

 

Texas legislators pushing to open a "Texas Fort Knox" and allow Texas Teachers' Pension Fund to buy physical gold.

 

Yips!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:56 | 3362366 WarriorClass
WarriorClass's picture

 $900 million EURO PUT trade on the Euro to crash vs. the dollar within 2 weeks.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:00 | 3361768 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

@Headless Horseman,

 

He who has the gold writes the rules.  When the rules aren't followed those who wrote the rules get very angry.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:47 | 3362324 fabmax
fabmax's picture

This usually ends badly for Germans.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:55 | 3362361 JR
JR's picture

You know what? Hitler, in case anyone hasn’t noticed, is not involved in the EU policy maneuvers. It is the international bankers. And the face of Hitler is nothing but Zionist propaganda.

And WHERE is the face of the Zionist policy makers who would force the people of Europe to wear the ankle chains of debt slavery?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:26 | 3362453 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

the face of Hitler is nothing but Zionist propaganda

I don't know, JR, but for whatever reason my Dell computer running Microsoft does not allow Google to search Oracle databases so I can research your outlandish claims.  Maybe I should try a Bloomberg terminal?

Six of the the world's 10 Richest Jews:

Larry Ellison
Michael Bloomberg
Sergey Brin
Lawrence Page
Steven Ballmer
Michael Dell

 

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:27 | 3362513 richard in norway
richard in norway's picture

I don't care if some Jews are wealthy or if all Jews are wealthy. As long as they earned it, it's all good

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:37 | 3363405 JR
JR's picture

Houston, we've got a problem. :-)

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:19 | 3362468 MSimon
MSimon's picture

Fooled by the front men again? That is how the crooks always get away with it: The Queen of England deals dope. Who the bagmen are is just a matter of convenience.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:25 | 3361897 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Up the FUD Angie!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:43 | 3361680 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

Next stop, MWD Derivative quakes...fingers are poised on the buttons.

This has been an Agenda21 announcement: live long and [make us ] prosper.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:45 | 3361684 Room 101
Room 101's picture

Not showing teeth is very difficult for sharks and other predators.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:33 | 3361836 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

"18 minutes later Merkankels attacked"..."our Banks are not our own, from ECB to IMF we are bound to others"......Europe is having Karmic Financial issues.
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RYLpQFuxV5Y

Putin = Old Georgie

"The IMF ain't tellin the Tru Tru"
http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=related&v=m45g7ikQzes

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:40 | 3361647 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

she needs a big knobby 10 inch dildo and a bottle of stoly

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:42 | 3361669 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

At least they didn't say "Fuhrerous Merkel".

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:46 | 3361695 machineh
machineh's picture

`I see!' said Queen Angela, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate Cypriots, who ran to Alice for protection.

`You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others.

`Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.

`Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted in reply.

`That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?'

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:44 | 3361998 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

:-))

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:47 | 3361696 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

Long Zyklon B

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:31 | 3363380 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

Why, you have some delousing to do? Cuz if you still believe the official story, you have serious perception problems.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:03 | 3361778 LuckoftheIrish
LuckoftheIrish's picture

That would be alcohol abd dildo abuse.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:53 | 3362348 Floordawg
Floordawg's picture

...Both smacked upside her head.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:39 | 3361649 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Embrace the Suck !!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:40 | 3361651 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Cucking Funt

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:41 | 3361667 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

this aggression will not stand, man.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:48 | 3361701 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

Do they even HAVE bowling alley's in Europe??

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:53 | 3361729 Room 101
Room 101's picture

Yes. Not many, but they do exist.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:56 | 3361742 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

Then f^ck it, Nicos, let's go bowlin'.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:55 | 3362059 Grimbert
Grimbert's picture

http://bit.ly/10sd6qn

Kegelbahn - you find them quite often in pubs. Nearer English skittles than 10-pin bowling

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:44 | 3362305 Marge N Call
Marge N Call's picture

+1.

New shit has come to light.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:55 | 3362660 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

My concern is, and I have to check with my accountant, that this might bump me into a higher, uh, tax bracket

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:52 | 3361722 Room 101
Room 101's picture

Point of order @toys for tits: this is ZH fight club.  Use of profanity is considered acceptable, nay, proper and polite when referring to worthless fucking cunts like herr merkel.

I gave you +1, but please remember your manners in the future.  Thank you. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:56 | 3361751 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Just trying to be classy, dude.  Kind of like when I raise a pinky while masturbating.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:13 | 3361829 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

You are one depraved animal, tft. I like you.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:00 | 3362086 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

LMAO. You guys are some of the fun reasons to come here and research.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:01 | 3363211 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

Say it again brother... this thread is magic!

ZH just get's better. Cutting sarcasm, epic institutional memory (Tylers and the crew of posters), the trolls and to top it all we are now graced by the presence of Dr Paul Krugman himself!

I, for one, feel privileged, to be part of this community as we countdown to armageddon!

LOCK, LOAD, STACK AND POST BITCHEZ!

 

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:49 | 3362025 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

.3

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:52 | 3361726 Jacque Itch
Jacque Itch's picture

Cunning runt

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:40 | 3361652 BorisTheBlade
BorisTheBlade's picture

We wish Europe warm winter of 2013 and onwards.

Sincerely, Gazprom.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:50 | 3361713 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

LOL....very fucking LOL

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:20 | 3363219 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

Long polonium-110 Bitchez... anyone fancy a cup of tea?

Sincerely, FSB

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:21 | 3361872 chdwlch1
chdwlch1's picture

Very interesting that this game of chicken began at the beginning of spring, isn't it?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:55 | 3361687 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

TUT, TUT, TUT, it was a closed door meeting - everything that comes out is pure hearsay and rumour

and the way the ECB is sounding is looks like the Cypriot central bank governor made two thirds of his collegues very, very mad, too

----------------

meanwhile I note that the author is writing "mercantilist" EU/eurozone

can't wait what ZeroHedge's position will be in June 2013 when we will start to talk about the great TAFTA - the TransAtlantic Trade Zone encompassing NAFTA (i.e. Mexico, Canada and the US) and the European Union

of course this will be the death knell of the European Union as a trading zone, and will expose us europeans to the same treatment that Americans have from great giant corporations like Google et al (bye bye to our privacy laws) as well as expose us to the same transgenetic GMO food cartels that poison America

the UK government is already cackling as mad, two in one strike: death to the EU, long live TAFTA

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:57 | 3361756 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Ghordius, Are you a 'freegolder'? and if so, are you fimiliar with the writings of one 'victor the cleaner'

 

https://twitter.com/VictorCleaner

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:49 | 3362030 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Victor writes/tweets that 'the europeans are in the process of pulling the rug out from under the dollar'' (march17) and a while back Victor suggests ''that the Euro has the dollar cornered''

 

Curious as to your thoughts............

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:16 | 3361844 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

Ghordo, buddy, I think you're way off in the weeds (possibly right, but still way off in the weeds).  This article is and it's impications aren't that tough to understand.  Here's the short version:

We're about to find out just how strong Germany's pimp hand is.  If Merkel's pimp hand is strong, Cyprus will tow the line, pass the deposit tax and eat shit.  If Merkel's pimp hand is found to be weak, however...... that's a threat to the Status Quo.  Not a huge threat directly, but you know when one of your whores gets out of line and you fail to slap that bitch down, you're gonna have trouble with the rest of them.  Pretty soon even your bottom-bitch is telling you what she will and won't do.  Can't have that.

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:30 | 3361923 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Gilligian, quick get some for the fire, there's a boat out there. 

I don't see no boat skipper.

Never mind that, go get some wood for the fire, Maryann saw a boat out there.

Can you see Maryann?

NO, how can I see Maryann when she's not even here??

They same way you see the boat out there.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:31 | 3361930 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Nuke standoff.

Merkel threatens to kill Cyprus and Cyprus threatens triggering the Euro derivative bomb.

Who's gonna blink?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:56 | 3362063 smacker
smacker's picture

"mercantilist" is simply an older term to describe "corporatism".

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:31 | 3362233 YHC-FTSE
YHC-FTSE's picture

@Ghordius

Re: tafta. Definitely one of the star comments of the day.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:25 | 3362494 MSimon
MSimon's picture

Ghordius,

 

You object to GM food? Don't eat. No one is stopping you.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:42 | 3362598 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

I know that argument. let the market decide. and oh, we don't really need to label anything, do we?

and european agriculture is so backward, you know, all those free farmers-owners with their silly family-run farms - they ought to understand that US-style agri-business is so much better - and profitable

look, we made a continental sized trading zone so that we could feed ourselves, among other things

we know what happened to the US farmers - no, thanks

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:48 | 3361706 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

BULLISH, DAMMIT!! 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:55 | 3361740 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

ZE ponzi must continue.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:35 | 3361950 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

I thought all these assholes are on the same side, it's all theater no? Who gives a shit, it's all crashing down anyways...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:07 | 3362709 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Think of it more like the New York crime 'families' of old.

Sometimes they cooperate, sometimes they compete.  Sometimes they have harsh words for each other, and once in a while they go to the mattresses.

In fat times, they probably mostly cooperate.  

These are not fat times.

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:03 | 3361783 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

I like you angry, instead of us angry.

We're gettin' somewhere.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:11 | 3361821 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Amazing how much time Merkel can spend pretending to be the EU Caesar when her own country is dissolving into recession.  The question is both, when do Europeans have enough of her power plays, and when do Germans themselves get sick of her domestic negligence?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:36 | 3361627 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

FU MernanQE

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:37 | 3361630 Shaten
Shaten's picture

And the tanks roll south.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:39 | 3361641 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

One advantage of being an island nation.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:49 | 3361661 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

[deleted, far too scandalous]

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:58 | 3361759 Room 101
Room 101's picture

-1

Pull up your big-boy boxers and give us scandalous.  Slanderous with profanity is even better. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:00 | 3361770 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Something about Cyprus being the fulcrum upon which Putin & Co. prybars the EU open with a golden crowbar.

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:08 | 3361804 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

Putin's gonna have a fuck fest this year...payback's a bitch.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:10 | 3361818 Room 101
Room 101's picture

+1. 

I like.  Please share your musings and speculation. The more salacious, the better.  

Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch.  

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:10 | 3362139 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Well I was really thinking that Putin & Co. chose Cyprus not only for proximity geography but also, it's a fairly remote island that there own security forces can monitor the ins and outs fairly easily.  It would be very difficult to make gold vanish into a tunnel or train, unlike NYC, which is a warren of tunnels that all seem to terminate very close to or within the confines of the vaulted foundations of major bank buildings like Citi, Chase, et al.  You can swipe many tons of gold and have them on a train to Schenectady (sp) in no time and no one would be the wiser.  Can't do that on an island.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:41 | 3361663 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

Yes, independent Cyprus ... better to implode in freedom, than live as a slave

That is really funny in article above:

« ... the Cypriot government hasn’t been in touch with the so-called troika of international creditors for days ... »

Ha!

Makes me think that despite the official claims of 'no deal with the Russians'

In fact Cyprus is playing out the hand EXACTLY as the Russians are quietly telling them to do so

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:02 | 3361769 Room 101
Room 101's picture

Talk to the hand, bitchez

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:07 | 3361796 MrPalladium
MrPalladium's picture

"Cyprus is playing out the hand EXACTLY as the Russians are quietly telling them to do so"

Bingo!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:23 | 3361883 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Poor Angie. She's accustomed to wearing the strap-on, not being on the receiving end of that 10-inch anal probe. Putin is supplying the sandpaper condoms and habanero lube for the after-party in Brussels.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:20 | 3362187 My Days Are Get...
My Days Are Getting Fewer's picture

The Germans will fold.  Merkel is enraged because she must support the Euro.  Going back to the DM will destroy German exports.  Same problem that the Swiss have with their non-banking economy.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:39 | 3361646 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Too bad tanks don't float.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:42 | 3361672 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

the germans can borrow a few of the u-boats they sold the Israelis

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:50 | 3361716 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Laws of Physics will probably yell at me for this. 

Think there's a lot of gold on that little island?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:04 | 3361785 Room 101
Room 101's picture

I don't know about physics, but the laws of geology probably won't; there was once a lot of copper mining on Cyprus.  Where there's copper, there might be gold. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:08 | 3361801 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I'm talking about the above ground variety that normally necessitates a dense network of tunnels in order to switch from one bank vault to another unseen.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:51 | 3362041 DollarMenu
DollarMenu's picture

According to World Gold Council, in 2010 they had 13.9 tons.

http://www.usagold.com/reference/official-gold-2010-june.pdf

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:50 | 3361711 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Tanks are so last century.....missiles are where it's at today.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:35 | 3361953 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Go long Drones, Bitches!!

DaddyO

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:37 | 3361962 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Drone-ing for gold?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:37 | 3361631 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Friday is a good day for a double DECAF espresso, Merkel, no? Or you can just drink your lunch..quadruple martini...im thinking of having same

Your choice

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:40 | 3361634 Pampalona
Pampalona's picture

We are all Cypriots now.... Viva la Cyprus!!!
Start buying Cypriot food/goods redirect holidays from Germany to Cyprus... We have to support those people...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:43 | 3361678 thecoloredsky
thecoloredsky's picture

Here, I have an idea. Why doesn't Cyprus default on their loans and create a new Cyprus currency backed by their physical gold? Do this overnight and the economy won't skip a beat. Just a fucking crazy thought.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:52 | 3361725 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I'd like to see Cyprus actions become the model for what states may do in the US...

~~~

Come on Texas...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:58 | 3361761 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

The states have to go all-in or sit tight.  They go one at a time, they will be crushed one at a time.  There would need to be a breakaway bloc that goes Galt as a massive ambush.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:47 | 3362017 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Well it's sure as shit not gonna be Colorado or Utah...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:06 | 3362117 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Nevada+Arizona+Texas+Utah+Colorado+Louisiana+Dakotas+Wyoming+Montana

Major natural resource wealth, low population, major friendlies for trade on north or south land borders, access to Gulf within spittin' distance of widened Panama Canal, American manufacturing know-how ...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:40 | 3361979 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

*cough* Iceland

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:56 | 3361748 XitSam
XitSam's picture

Hey. Whatever happened to those rumors of european printing companies that were supposed to be printing new Drachma or Marks or whatever?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:44 | 3361682 sampo
sampo's picture

Yeah, maybe Barry should do a sidestep to Nicosia and tell the people:

"Ich bin ein Cyp - Riot"!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:38 | 3361637 Scro
Scro's picture

Nigga please

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:39 | 3361640 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Ein Kleine...It's All Mine!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:40 | 3361656 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Daffy duck: its mine. Mine mine. Down down down...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:39 | 3361642 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

Ms. Merkel, would you like some cheese to go with that whine?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:39 | 3361645 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Seems to me Merkel et al should be venting towards Putin, but wont.

But the Putin Put has been played, and much more to come...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:39 | 3361648 Racer
Racer's picture

Your theft of people's money is NOT ACCEPTABLE

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:40 | 3361650 Truther
Truther's picture

I repeat....Fuck you Merknanke

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:46 | 3361690 HD
HD's picture

No penis is that blind...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:40 | 3361657 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

good to see she's not reinforcing the old "germans are authoritarian" stereotype

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:56 | 3361749 machineh
machineh's picture

Hard to play that role anymore, when the Israelis have taken over the 'master race occupiers' schtick.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:41 | 3361660 surfsup
surfsup's picture

British based bond holders of Cyprus banks not feeling so fresh about now either... 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:45 | 3361689 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

That is what Massengill is for...

Mass-in-bail for douche banksters everywhere

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N91XsdrBqUY

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:41 | 3361665 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

ah, can we get some coverage of what they did to the only 2 forms of real money Tylers???????

http://www.kitco.com/charts/livesilver.html

 

FUCK YOU MERKEL YOU FUCKING "SHIM" AND FUCK YOU ALL BANKERS....

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:11 | 3361820 Alpo for Granny
Alpo for Granny's picture

I think the guy that plugged in the algo computer yesterday morning had the wide prong of the plug switched in the wall outlet.

After a gnashing of Mrs. Masters' fangs, he quickly turned it around in time for open this morning.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:41 | 3361666 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

Javohl, Mein Fuherette!

 

FORWARD SOVIET!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:42 | 3361670 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Cyprus will be bailed by the US unless they come to their senses and tell everyone to fuck off.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:42 | 3361673 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

Bitch needs to redirect that anger and flap that shithole she calls a mouth at the Bearded One. If you got real balls you bag of shit, get your gold back in one week.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:42 | 3361674 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

Cyprus isn't much bigger than Guam. I'm thinkin' there's a real danger of it tipping over and capsizing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zNZczIgVXjg

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:42 | 3361676 HD
HD's picture

As mush as I would LOVE for this to blow up - everyone involved is backed into a corner and will cave to the pressure.

That said, I sure as hell wouldn't want to be in the crosshairs of Russian mobsters I've just stole a couple billion from. Even if the EU bureaucrats themselves are safe (which is questionable) they have family to consider.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:48 | 3361707 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Long polonium

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:52 | 3361730 HD
HD's picture

 Now available on Amazon with free super saver shipping.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:56 | 3361744 Ethics Gradient
Ethics Gradient's picture

Wasn't their a Russian Jouno who dies in prison for suggesting that Putin stole from the mobsters?

If that were true, did he have any money in Cyprus?

Did Putin use, or offer to use, any influence in Cyprus?

Is Putin in the crosshairs of the mobsters?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:21 | 3361849 HD
HD's picture

Everyone has their pet Kennedy assassination theory - and I've always leaned towards the Mob being involved one way or another.  If Putin stole from the mafia they will get him at some point.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:43 | 3361677 Chuck Walla
Chuck Walla's picture

Javohl, Mein Fuherette! Deutschland Uber Alles!

 

FORWARD SOVIET!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:54 | 3361736 Haus-Targaryen
Haus-Targaryen's picture

Es heißt;

 

Jawohl! Meine Führeren!  Deutschland über Alles!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:11 | 3362149 My Days Are Get...
My Days Are Getting Fewer's picture

Man schreibt:

 

Einverstanden meine Führerin! Wird sofort durchgeführt.

Danach kommt der Panzer Chor.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:43 | 3361679 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

come on. its 5.8B EUR?  just print it!  thats all you fucking cunts are good for anyways.  pay debt with electronic 1's and 0's. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:44 | 3361685 Atomizer
Atomizer's picture

Nicht testen meine Geduld oder ich feuern die Öfen.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:44 | 3361686 mikmid
mikmid's picture

Talk about one world government rule. How dare they ignore their rulers. The shit is getting thick.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:45 | 3361688 riphowardkatz
riphowardkatz's picture

Cyprus holds all the cards, just like Greece and Italy and Spain. The EU cannot allow a country or force a country to leave. The whole thing collapses if that happens via Redemptions. Russia knows this. Germany knows this. That is why Germany is so pissed they are trapped. 

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