Furious Merkel: "Cyprus’ Decision To Test Europe Is Unacceptable"

Tyler Durden's picture


Europe's paymaster - that would be Germany for those who have not paid attention to events over the past four years - is not used to being snubbed. It certainly is not used to being snubbed by what every empty chatterbox and their kitchen sink will tell you is a "small and irrelevant" country (all the more so in the aftermath of last summer's embarrassing defeat in its head on confrontation with the ECB, in which the Bundesbank showed that sometimes the best offense is a gracious retreat). It most certainly is not used to not being invited to discussions involving the future of its precious mercantilist European union, especially when said union may no longer exist as we know it in 48 short hours. And Germany is angry.

From Bloomberg:

As Russia spurned the island nation’s bid for a loan, Merkel told a closed-door meeting of legislators in Berlin today that she’s annoyed the Cypriot government hasn’t been in touch with the so-called troika of international creditors for days, according to a party official who spoke on condition of anonymity because the briefing was private. Cyprus’s decision to test Europe is unacceptable, she told them.


“We’re not ready to accept solutions that are full of wind,” Michael Fuchs, deputy parliamentary leader of Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union, said after the meeting. “I don’t think it’s appropriate to play poker in this matter, especially when you think that there’s a risk that two banks will become insolvent next Monday.”

In other words, how dare the pesky Cypriots think a "union" is comprised of equal "units", instead of being a despotic tyrrany in which the adjusted version of the golden rule (perhaps explaining why the Buba is pulling all its French and a lot of its NY Fed gold) applies.

Germany will have none of that nonsense.

So while "experts" wait with bated breath for the results of today's Cypriot debate and vote, the reality is it is completely irrelevant, and any of the proposed terms and "resolution" ideas are irrelevant. Why? Because without Germany's blessing (which also means the idea should have originated with Germany in the first place), there is no solution, especially not one that benefits the abovementioned paymaster.

Which means either there is a deposit tax on the wealthy, which was the whole point of this carefully structured, politically punitive exercise, or there is no deal.

Because in Europe, like everywhere else, it is quid (even if it will soon be quit)-pro-quo.

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Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:35 | 3361622 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Ze will not disobey.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:35 | 3361623 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Fuck off Bitch

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:39 | 3361643 Badabing
Badabing's picture

Can you open your mouth without showing your teeth?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:41 | 3361664 duo
duo's picture

if you don't have any

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:42 | 3361675 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



And Germany is angry.

This usually ends poorly for Europe.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:44 | 3361683 Rubicon
Rubicon's picture

And there goes her re-election!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:48 | 3361691 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Zee Germans are Fuhrerious...

No moar Euros for zee lazee Mediterranians!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:48 | 3361703 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Frau Merkel, die anmaßend Geistig behindert Trüffelsau

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:52 | 3361728 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

How would they have time to call when they’ve been on the phone with Putin non-stop?



Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:01 | 3361774 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Values are learned at home.

Angela Merkel's kid:


Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:12 | 3361827 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Values are learned at home.

He is (a little) older, now, and trades ForeEx for DB.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:15 | 3361838 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Now that's TFF :)

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:25 | 3361889 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

"Germany will have none of that nonsense."

We must let the tanks roll in Europe, so that they do not roll here.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:23 | 3362197 bonderøven-farm ass
bonderøven-farm ass's picture

"You mustn't act yourself, you must obey, you must give in, you must submit to the overwhelming need to obey...!"

Adolph Merkel 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:23 | 3361886 uncle_vito
uncle_vito's picture

Looks like me trading stocks during a Bernenke induced melt up when I am short.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:34 | 3362267 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

That is actually Angela herself.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:05 | 3361787 Stackers
Stackers's picture

I guess Cyprus is doing what we all do when we can not pay our credit cards ..... just dont answer the phone anymore !!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:17 | 3362178 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

Cyprus is learning from Americans....

"Just walk away."

Being a Deadbeat is 'cool' these days. Much better and more finaically rewarding then being a 'Beatnik.' Just don't be the creditor/sucka holding the bag.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:28 | 3362515 eatthebanksters
Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:30 | 3362244 N. B. Forrest
N. B. Forrest's picture

They don't answer the phone because their busy printing up all of their own money to exchange for euros on Tuesday. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:57 | 3361754 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

Ja!  whatever he just said.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:50 | 3361714 Cangaroo.TNT
Cangaroo.TNT's picture

Best comment EVER.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:56 | 3361750 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

You owe us some greens!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:03 | 3361779 auntiesocial
auntiesocial's picture

I would love to be a fly on the wall when zoes krazy germanz show up at the NY Fed to pick up their physical. that oughtta be a hoot!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:08 | 3361802 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

It'll go a little something like this:


Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:06 | 3361793 SMG
Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:08 | 3362128 Chupacabra-322
Chupacabra-322's picture

@ hedgeless_horseman,

My sentiments exactly!  You know, there are these funny rumors going around that this CUNT is the test tube baby of the Leader of the Furur.

Well anyway,

I think it's about time we go IceLand and demand an orderly arrest of the Global Criminal Cabal (Intelligence/Bankster) Crime Syndicate and their leaders. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:51 | 3362340 JR
JR's picture

Hedgeless, the euros are an invention of the international bankers. It’s the international bankers who are furious, if anyone is furious.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:27 | 3363351 Fiat Currency
Fiat Currency's picture

Godwin's law in 7 posts

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:52 | 3361731 LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

LOL, yeah, I've read some things about that!

Long Tall Boots.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:24 | 3362188 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture
Why Texas May Start to Hoard Gold (with the beautiful Lauren Lyster)




Texas legislators pushing to open a "Texas Fort Knox" and allow Texas Teachers' Pension Fund to buy physical gold.



Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:56 | 3362366 WarriorClass
WarriorClass's picture

 $900 million EURO PUT trade on the Euro to crash vs. the dollar within 2 weeks.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:00 | 3361768 Muddy1
Muddy1's picture

@Headless Horseman,


He who has the gold writes the rules.  When the rules aren't followed those who wrote the rules get very angry.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:47 | 3362324 fabmax
fabmax's picture

This usually ends badly for Germans.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:55 | 3362361 JR
JR's picture

You know what? Hitler, in case anyone hasn’t noticed, is not involved in the EU policy maneuvers. It is the international bankers. And the face of Hitler is nothing but Zionist propaganda.

And WHERE is the face of the Zionist policy makers who would force the people of Europe to wear the ankle chains of debt slavery?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:26 | 3362453 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



the face of Hitler is nothing but Zionist propaganda

I don't know, JR, but for whatever reason my Dell computer running Microsoft does not allow Google to search Oracle databases so I can research your outlandish claims.  Maybe I should try a Bloomberg terminal?

Six of the the world's 10 Richest Jews:

Larry Ellison
Michael Bloomberg
Sergey Brin
Lawrence Page
Steven Ballmer
Michael Dell



Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:27 | 3362513 richard in norway
richard in norway's picture

I don't care if some Jews are wealthy or if all Jews are wealthy. As long as they earned it, it's all good

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:37 | 3363405 JR
JR's picture

Houston, we've got a problem. :-)

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:19 | 3362468 MSimon
MSimon's picture

Fooled by the front men again? That is how the crooks always get away with it: The Queen of England deals dope. Who the bagmen are is just a matter of convenience.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:25 | 3361897 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Up the FUD Angie!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:43 | 3361680 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

Next stop, MWD Derivative quakes...fingers are poised on the buttons.

This has been an Agenda21 announcement: live long and [make us ] prosper.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:45 | 3361684 Room 101
Room 101's picture

Not showing teeth is very difficult for sharks and other predators.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:33 | 3361836 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

"18 minutes later Merkankels attacked"..."our Banks are not our own, from ECB to IMF we are bound to others"......Europe is having Karmic Financial issues.

Putin = Old Georgie

"The IMF ain't tellin the Tru Tru"

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:40 | 3361647 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

she needs a big knobby 10 inch dildo and a bottle of stoly

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:42 | 3361669 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

At least they didn't say "Fuhrerous Merkel".

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:46 | 3361695 machineh
machineh's picture

`I see!' said Queen Angela, who had meanwhile been examining the roses. `Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate Cypriots, who ran to Alice for protection.

`You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly marched off after the others.

`Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.

`Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the soldiers shouted in reply.

`That's right!' shouted the Queen. `Can you play croquet?'

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:44 | 3361998 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture


Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:47 | 3361696 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

Long Zyklon B

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:31 | 3363380 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

Why, you have some delousing to do? Cuz if you still believe the official story, you have serious perception problems.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:03 | 3361778 LuckoftheIrish
LuckoftheIrish's picture

That would be alcohol abd dildo abuse.

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