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Furious Merkel: "Cyprus’ Decision To Test Europe Is Unacceptable"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Europe's paymaster - that would be Germany for those who have not paid attention to events over the past four years - is not used to being snubbed. It certainly is not used to being snubbed by what every empty chatterbox and their kitchen sink will tell you is a "small and irrelevant" country (all the more so in the aftermath of last summer's embarrassing defeat in its head on confrontation with the ECB, in which the Bundesbank showed that sometimes the best offense is a gracious retreat). It most certainly is not used to not being invited to discussions involving the future of its precious mercantilist European union, especially when said union may no longer exist as we know it in 48 short hours. And Germany is angry.

From Bloomberg:

As Russia spurned the island nation’s bid for a loan, Merkel told a closed-door meeting of legislators in Berlin today that she’s annoyed the Cypriot government hasn’t been in touch with the so-called troika of international creditors for days, according to a party official who spoke on condition of anonymity because the briefing was private. Cyprus’s decision to test Europe is unacceptable, she told them.

 

“We’re not ready to accept solutions that are full of wind,” Michael Fuchs, deputy parliamentary leader of Merkel’s Christian Democratic Union, said after the meeting. “I don’t think it’s appropriate to play poker in this matter, especially when you think that there’s a risk that two banks will become insolvent next Monday.”

In other words, how dare the pesky Cypriots think a "union" is comprised of equal "units", instead of being a despotic tyrrany in which the adjusted version of the golden rule (perhaps explaining why the Buba is pulling all its French and a lot of its NY Fed gold) applies.

Germany will have none of that nonsense.

So while "experts" wait with bated breath for the results of today's Cypriot debate and vote, the reality is it is completely irrelevant, and any of the proposed terms and "resolution" ideas are irrelevant. Why? Because without Germany's blessing (which also means the idea should have originated with Germany in the first place), there is no solution, especially not one that benefits the abovementioned paymaster.

Which means either there is a deposit tax on the wealthy, which was the whole point of this carefully structured, politically punitive exercise, or there is no deal.

Because in Europe, like everywhere else, it is quid (even if it will soon be quit)-pro-quo.

 

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Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:54 | 3361737 Jacque Itch
Jacque Itch's picture

What about the printing press?  C'mon, you know it's comin'.

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:07 | 3361798 riphowardkatz
riphowardkatz's picture

when you print in the US you can distribute via the federal government. in EUlandia they have to distribute through one country thereby devaluing the money of the citizens of other countries. That makes German citizens very mad.

Plus in regard to inflation and printing these countries have a history of it so their citizens are more aware than the US citizens who have been insulated from some of the effects by virtue of being the reserve currency.

They will print and have been but they doing it outright is much trickier.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:09 | 3361810 magpie
magpie's picture

Germany is now a nation of house flippers...they will embrace inflation. No one from Weimar times lives.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:17 | 3361855 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

They're also gold collectors, going from ~.75 oz. per person in 2008 to ~3 oz. per person in 2010.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:48 | 3362022 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

"That is why Germany is so pissed they are trapped."

 

Something about the Russians being good at chess, but is it what it really seems or is something else going on?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:46 | 3361693 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Ahhh, The best laid schemes of mice and men...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:47 | 3361694 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Merkel is annoyed that the Cypriot government isn't in touch? WTF bitch.....are you in touch with anybody besides your banking masters?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:47 | 3361697 Martial
Martial's picture

'Germany is angry'....

...and when Germany is angry....

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:51 | 3361718 magpie
magpie's picture

they tap their keyboard ?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:56 | 3361743 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

They better keep that shit in check before they get themselves Dresden'ed.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:51 | 3361699 doggis
doggis's picture

great theatrics - nice stage show...good stage production. 

i will say this one more time - GERMANY HAS OPTED OUT OF THE EURO. THIS MANUFACTURED DRAMA IS THE GRACIOUS WAY OUT! 

this whole production is sactioned by the fed/treasury and china has agreed [ahh lew in china just before this whole charade hits the mass media]

long live the deutsch mark!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:53 | 3361732 doggis
doggis's picture

think out of the box here zerohedger's ...... you are reacting rather than thinking......

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:11 | 3361816 moonstears
moonstears's picture

I, doggis, had not thought of this. Interesting idea.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:08 | 3362127 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Not too sure how that's gonna save over leveraged German (and every Euro) bank if Cyprus defaults and triggers all these swaps.

Dead banks everywhere.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:05 | 3361782 smacker
smacker's picture

 

 

I agree that IF Germany quits the EZ it will be preceded by just such a theatrical event as this to avoid being blamed for the consequential shambles.

I'm just not sure this occasion is that event. Let's wait and see...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:15 | 3361807 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

I agree, great dog and pony show.  Angie needs a reason to appear outraged so she can paddle out in front of the wave of nationalism that will sweep her into office in September.  The "Cyprus Show" is launched in early spring to get that shit going in time for the grand finale.  The ending includes a new hit penned by BB - "The Collapse of the Euro", and of course that old European favorite, "Peasants with Pitchforks".

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:48 | 3361700 Super Broccoli
Super Broccoli's picture

banks bankrupted on monday ? maybe but noone will see it since they're closed or enforcing cap control rules ...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:48 | 3361702 shinobi-7
shinobi-7's picture

Now it's getting serious: European and Russian mafias on the left and right. The only option is strait ahead into the sea...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:49 | 3361709 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

Poor Merkel, found wanting with an utterly shit decision to directly fleece the sheeple.

How embarresting, all that money they got pissed up the wall in Greece and a fraction of that would have 'saved' Cyprus!

What a bummer you can't unwind this one.

 

Maybe Ben Shalom can send over some of the $85 billion he is shitting on the US with!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:49 | 3361710 falak pema
falak pema's picture

hey TD : the notion of sovereign state MEANS it "quid pro quo"; the day the sovereign state goes belly up BROKE, all bets are off!

You are a big boy and nobody holds your pecker when you take a leak; but when you regress to being a toddler and then Nanny comes and holds it for you...so that you shoot straight into the deep blue!

Merkel is just doing due diligence in a country that has gone belly up; admittedly as a result of Greece's Squidly concocted shenanigans!

But that is Not Merkel's fault and her medicine is Ron Paulian austerity in substance, but also big Kaiser sister act...just saying, big boys when they go broke can't blame life for getting poked.

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:59 | 3361766 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

+1 "quid pro quo" is commerce, isn't it? the basis of every deal - funny notion that sovereigns are not supposed to do that

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:50 | 3361712 epi_tis_thalassis
epi_tis_thalassis's picture

Please someone, destroy euro, liberate europe from the new gold franc before we end in one more big war!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:50 | 3361715 uranian
uranian's picture

Spanish Minister of Finance and Public Administration Cristobal Montoro announced today a tax (probably 0.2%) will be imposed on bank deposits, without details on which deposits will be affected or timing.

 

A new low-rate Spanish bank deposit tax, which will see banks rather than account holders pay levies, is being introduced to “impose order in the Spanish banking system,” the Treasury Minister Cristóbal Montoro said yesterday.

 


Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:01 | 3361773 thecoloredsky
thecoloredsky's picture

The tax in question has been in place since January, and what was new this week was the rate, which is reportedly going to be set at 0.1% to 0.2%. That money is supposedly going to come out from the banks, but, well, given how terrific their earnings have been, you can’t blame anyone for getting suspicious.

Spain already collects 0.1% bank account taxes?!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:52 | 3361717 moonstears
moonstears's picture

A German band wrote a prescient song about this, from the Cyprus point of view, no less.

Rammstein: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlOAMKTj0hU

translates thus: "You, You hate, you hate me, You hate me to say that I will not obey"

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:07 | 3361794 css1971
css1971's picture

Eh no. It's a german play on words.

 

"Du hast" is the informal "you hate" yes.

"Du hast mich" is also "you hate me"

"Du hast mich gefragt" is however, "you have asked me".

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:21 | 3361848 moonstears
moonstears's picture

+1 I stand corrected, bitchez!(I'm American, we all know there's only one REAL language, American English, the rest we rarely fully learn(kidding bitchez, kinda) now junk away but be sure to mutter " fuck you!" in American English, you know you all can!)

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:01 | 3362061 css1971
css1971's picture

I was about to edit it to make it clearer. "has[s]t" can mean "hate" or "have" depending on usage/spelling/context. It's deliberately ambiguous in the song.

The way it's sung it's definitely "you hate" until you get to "you [have] asked me and I said nothing" then you have to flip the meaning to "you have". Rammstein rock though, a lot of their stuff is very clever, as well as visually disturbing.

A lot gets lost in translation. Virgin births, genocide threats and so on.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:34 | 3362257 moonstears
moonstears's picture

Saw them on Family Values w/ Korn, years ago, neat thing was no one seemed to know Rammstein so a friend and I moved right up front, reminded me of Kiss, or Gwar in the way they shoved so many theatrics into the brief set. Agree, they do rock, IMHO.

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:31 | 3361894 WoodMizer
WoodMizer's picture

I think Rammstein's later work is more appropriate.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NAM3rIBG5k

Translation of the second half of the first verse:

I'll show you how it's done right.
We form a nice round (circle),
freedom is playing on all the fiddles,
music is coming out of the White House,
and near Paris stands Mickey Mouse.

And here is a good one that relates to Cyprus:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zP9XMPbGeVM

"I want"

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:52 | 3361723 Anasteus
Anasteus's picture

"Mein Krach"

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:56 | 3361746 magpie
magpie's picture

"Russisches Roulette in Währungsunionen für Dummies"

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:53 | 3361735 Uncle Remus
Uncle Remus's picture

Are you ready to rumble?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:56 | 3361745 ak_khanna
ak_khanna's picture

The foreign banks and lenders being backed by politicians of bigger and stronger countries and global financial institutions are insisting that the Cyprus banks repay them in full even though this is likely to push the Cyprus economy in recession in the foreseeable future.

Moneylending to Cyprus by the foreign banks and lenders was a commercial decision whereby they received a higher interest rate to compensate for the risk they took in lending to Cyprus. The losses of this mess ought to be borne by lenders who enjoyed supernormal profits in good times and knowingly took the decision to lend to Cyprus banks. The losses should not be borne by the depositers and taxpayers of Cyprus or the taxpayers of other European countries by funding endless bailouts.

The best way out of this mess for the citizens of Cyprus is default.

http://www.marketoracle.co.uk/Article35345.html
www.letstalkmoney2012.in

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:18 | 3361791 falak pema
falak pema's picture

The best way out of this mess for the citizens of Cyprus is default...

Lol, its obvious you are not a Cypriot.

So easy to moralise with other people's lives, very much like those oligarchs who on the sly immoralise with other people's wives; all the while they play at personifying God's very bainchilds! Mad men...not just Madison avenue types.

Dsk, dsk, tricky willy  CLint, etc. etc. 

Do you Mr Khanna have a real handle on things?

This mess, started in private banking, is beyond just saying stop spending governments, 'cos that always ends in : stop living n start shooting! 

ANd...unlike for Greece and Spain etc. Cyprus default is NOT systemic to Euro banks; even its worst critics admit that.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:56 | 3361747 smacker
smacker's picture

Merkel's true character coming to the fore. Am I surprised?

At what point does she parachute in a division or two of panzers? ha-ha.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:56 | 3361752 DavidC
DavidC's picture

I really hope that Cyprus has the balls to stand up to this outright bullying. Let the bondholders and shareholders take the hit, they took the RISK! The depositors didn't.

I'm sorry, but Merkel et al are a bunch of fuckers. They know that if Cyprus leaves the goose is cooked for the Eurozone. Cyprus should KNOW that.

DavidC

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:53 | 3362048 Bobportlandor
Bobportlandor's picture

I can understand not wanting to be on the hook for any more, but who the hell started this mess. You can't go blaming everyone else for your screw ups.

Original you should have let the people fairly decide to join a union or not.

You're nothing but a bunch of bullies who are going to pay for it now.

Their coming time to head for the bunker.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:57 | 3361755 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Who is this Merkal dude?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:00 | 3361772 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

Evil twin shill of the wheelchair berk.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:14 | 3362168 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Inspiration for Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like A Lady."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf0oXY4nDxE

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:57 | 3361757 Odin
Odin's picture

Just roll some Panzers into the Rhineland and show em' who's boss...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:58 | 3361762 razorthin
razorthin's picture

Fuck der fuhrer!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:58 | 3361764 css1971
css1971's picture

Merkel is facing an election in September, (6 months) and Cyprus is part of the campaign trail. You see there's now a new party in Germany (Alternative for Germany) which wants Germany out of the Euro, and given the polls it looks like a substantial proportion of Germans agree. There are anti euro stickers starting to appear all over the place in Berlin.

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:07 | 3361799 schatzi
schatzi's picture

She is a masterful politician, outplayed and outlasted the likes of Sarkozy. Withstood various rebellions within the party and puts up this harmless auntie Merkel facade. She's not to be underestimated. The groundswell in core € is turning negative and she's very much aware of that. Bailing out Russian tax dodgers is political suicide on the home front. Not going to happen.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:00 | 3362683 css1971
css1971's picture

This means sacrificing the Cypriot banks.

Making depositors take a haircut is going to cause a run and the death of the banks through capital flight... To Germany ironically if TARGET2 is any indication.

Then the shit really hits the fan.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:35 | 3362832 schatzi
schatzi's picture

In theory yes, but in practice no. We all need and use banks whether we like it or not. Cyprus - and especially its banks are screwed no doubt, but your average Joe will place the events in Cyprus as an isolated incidence. I bank in central Europe - with an Italian bank mainly. Am I worried? No, not currently, because as long as there is general belief in the fiat monetary system, your average conservative commercial bank will remain safe. Target 2 is indeed a worry, but a different one and reflects more on the imbalances in the €-zone than on the banking sector per se.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 09:59 | 3361765 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

Hey Merkle

Pols who lose their tempers don't last long.

(Shouldn't have tried the bully-girl tactics)

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:02 | 3361775 TrumpXVI
TrumpXVI's picture

Note to Merkel: Temper, temper little tantrum.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:03 | 3361777 youngman
youngman's picture

Merkel cannot be seen as bailing out the Russian richies.....that is what she is worried about....she would have sent the money last week if the Russians were not involved....

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:37 | 3361963 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Sure she would have, NOT!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:06 | 3361792 semperfi
semperfi's picture

Cyprus right now is learning the hard way that these are universal:

"A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have."

-- Thomas Jefferson

 "If the American people ever allow private banks to control the issue of currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations that will grow up around them will deprive the people of all property until their children will wake up homeless on the continent their fathers conquered."

-- Thomas Jefferson

“Whoever controls the volume of money in our country is absolute master of all industry and commerce…and when you realize that the entire system is very easily controlled, one way or another, by few powerful men at the top, you will not have to be told how periods of inflation and depression originate.

 – President James Garfield, 2 weeks before his assassination.

"When plunder becomes a way of life for a group of men, they create for themselves, in the course of time, a legal system that authorizes it, and a moral code that glorifies it."

-- Frederic Bastiat (political economist, 1850)

"We have become a nation of thieves who use the govt to take other people's property"

-- Walter Williams

"When it becomes serious, you have to lie"

--  Jean-Claude Juncker

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:50 | 3362035 smacker
smacker's picture

 

 

Comparing the comments from J-C Junket with all the others, really tells us all we need to know about the junk that inhabits the European Union hierarchy.

It is surely past time for this trash to be dumped where it belongs.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:10 | 3361815 divedivedive
divedivedive's picture

What was the yield at these Cypriot banks say last month ? 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:12 | 3361825 Dineroguru
Dineroguru's picture

Money for nothing.......not in pissant little Cyprus I guess!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:13 | 3361832 Ropingdown
Ropingdown's picture

And why shouldn't Germany be pissed?  Cyprus just used the Greek formula of paying excessively high deposit rates and assuring low taxes and little tax compliance enforcement, all this to attract deposits.  But then it went Greece one better: It invested most of the deposits in Greek bonds.  Why shouldn't Germany be fed up with a bunch of countries that treated the Euro as a means use the core's credit to play stupid games.  The peripherals remind me of teenagers trying to be somebody carelessly on their rich daddy's credit.  "Cyprus Trumps Germany."

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:03 | 3362104 Vooter
Vooter's picture

"Why shouldn't Germany be fed up with a bunch of countries that treated the Euro as a means use the core's credit to play stupid games."

LOL! Oh, dear--poor, poor Germany. Throwing one's weight around is fun--until it ISN'T. To paraphrase Willem Dafoe in "Affliction": "Now we can all go to hell together!"

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:12 | 3362148 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Assuming what you say is true, are you saying that Germany was ignorant about Cypriot industry prior to it being allowed into the EZ?

Also assuming the tax evasion meme, why would one country be required to enforce another's tax laws?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:49 | 3362325 schatzi
schatzi's picture

Of course Germany wasn't igonorant. Problem is Greece (yes, THAT Goldman Sachs project) got in and then threw its weight around once inside the €-zone. Threatened to veto the East European expansion if Cyprus wouldn't be included. Greece and Cyprus (the lower part) are close buddies. Cyprus has been the playgound for geopolitical ambitions of both Greece and Turkey for most of the post WW2 era. Europe got dragged into this economical and political clusterfuck.

The other point being, that Cyrpus grew in its role as tax haven and money launder. I'm sure Putin is quite glad this swamp is about to be laid dry (I'm assuming some of his oligarch pals less so) and probably a behind the scenes reason the Russians aren't jumping in to save the lot. The obvious other being, that no idiot buys bankrupt banks.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:40 | 3361840 eurogold
eurogold's picture

Certainly the Germans have to be the bad guys as ....usual. Let's wait and see how Russia will fuck these idiot Cypriots over. I just can't wait to find out 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:15 | 3361847 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

YES!!!

A LEVY ON ALL GERMAN BANK ACCOUNTS TO PAY THE BANKS!!!

TAKE 20%!!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:17 | 3361856 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Fuck Europe.

 

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:17 | 3361858 Roandavid
Roandavid's picture

She doesn't have their number?  What the fuck bitch are you professional or not?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:22 | 3361877 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

My comment from yesterday:

"Well let's see.......we all know they love green fridays.  Not that big a drop today, low volume, 99% of the time this has resulted in tons of good news and a ramp on friday."

As if none of us could see that one coming.  Even we can trade like an HFT when you have the handbook.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:23 | 3361884 IamtheREALmario
IamtheREALmario's picture

Hmmm ... is Die Fuhrer angry because Cyprus is interfering with  

Deutchland, Detchland uber alles

or

fullfillment of The Commie Manifesto

My guess is that either it is the act or it throws a wrench ont he the commie/fascist agenda.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:04 | 3361904 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

All I know is however this plays out these assholes just gave Beppe the parlimentary reelections coming up in Italy. This situation here in Cyprus is going to be a pyrrhic at best victory if Merkel, ECB, IMF et al get their way. Also makes you wonder if this is the flashpoint for the rest of the PIIGS to tell the ECB go fuck yourselves, if you want our love it is on our terms not yours anymore.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:26 | 3361905 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

East German bitches do it better.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:27 | 3361912 RottenAlpha
RottenAlpha's picture

Too small to fail...let the Eurocrats take over.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:29 | 3361922 pine_marten
pine_marten's picture

Wonder how much meth it takes to get her out of bed in the morning?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:30 | 3361924 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

One puts the depositors savings in the basket or one gets the hose again.

PUT THE FUCKING SAVINGS IN THE BASKET.

The scary thing is I can picture Merkel strapped to a board with the same Hannibal Lecter mask on saying something like this.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:31 | 3361932 BudFox2012
BudFox2012's picture

Does this mean Ann Margret is not coming to Cyprus next week?

(sorry for the Full Metal Jacket reference, couldn't resist)

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:33 | 3361939 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Didn't German paratroopers have a hard landing in Cyprus during WWII ?   I went to a Cypriot bank riot .... and a Bitcoin discussion broke out ! (encore post)

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:46 | 3362011 MS7
MS7's picture

I believe that was Crete during WWII.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:56 | 3362062 magpie
magpie's picture

I thought it was Guernsey...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:33 | 3361943 Bingfa
Bingfa's picture

President Putin has sent a memo to ALL embassy’s world wide today advising both Russian citizens and companies to remove deposits out of ALL Westearn banks immediatly or risk losing your wealth.

Read more at http://investmentwatchblog.com/russian-warning-get-all-your-money-out-of-western-banking-and-financial-institutions-immediately/#1wSeeC4cyajxXMyA.99
Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:36 | 3361961 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Great minds think alike.......

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:38 | 3361964 smacker
smacker's picture

 

 

Nigel Farage said exactly the same thing several days ago :-)

Western/EU governments and banks only have themselves to blame.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:42 | 3361989 Monedas
Monedas's picture

That little Pricktator always over plays his hand .... they are not innocent bystanders !

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:57 | 3362065 machineh
machineh's picture

The story on the site “What does it mean. com” was written by Sorcha Faal without further elaboration.

Scorch'em FAIL.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:05 | 3362112 Bingfa
Bingfa's picture

I also heard there was many silent bank runs throughout Europe that the media conveniently failed to cover.... Who really knows anything about this whole mess?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:35 | 3361952 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Grand Theft Auto: Cyprus will be coming out this fall. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:38 | 3361968 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Grand Theft Auto .... mated Teller Machine !

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:37 | 3361960 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

SEIZE CYPRIOT REAL GOLD BITCHEZ!!

 

HOW DARE YOU OFFER "MY GOLD" TO THE RUSKIES??  ES IST MEINS!!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:36 | 3362279 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

This makes sense too. Grab the gold and do a little swaperoo to keep the price down.

I can't imagine that the Cypriot Govt. would want to cover junk paper with real gold.

Who would?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:39 | 3361976 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

This put me in the mood to watch The Big Lebowski.

"Ve vantz ze money or ve fucks you up!"

"You know there isn't any money."

"Ve fucks you up anyway!"

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:40 | 3361981 jtlien
jtlien's picture

Merkel channeling Lionel Barrymore and Putin channeling Jimmy Stewart...

It's A Wonderful Life.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:46 | 3362014 Everybodys All ...
Everybodys All American's picture

Cyprus should remind Merkle that she is not their president and that she needs to dictate to her run her own country only in no uncertain terminology.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:50 | 3362038 100pcDredge
100pcDredge's picture

HOW dare you?! You Cypriots... eh, I'm sorry, wrong line:

HOW dare you?! You motherfucking credit rating idiots! After all these stress-tests we did?! After ALL we did for you... losers! How could you? We even accepted Mario Monti back, within our ranks... remember?! And now this... after we even secretly added another extra yellowish star to our flag of flags and nations?! You morons. NOW: put it back to CCC+++, like you did with these subprime crap-products which caused havoc all over the place. You Fuckers.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:52 | 3362045 creeko
creeko's picture

and now it's... springtime for Hitler, and germany....

Bombs falling from the sky again!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:07 | 3362126 Colonial Intent
Colonial Intent's picture

Winter for Cyprus and Greece.....

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:53 | 3362049 Hannibal
Hannibal's picture

"Germany has no right to dictate anything to Cyprus.  Indeed, Germany and the ECB, along with the machinery at the EU, is at least as responsible for this problem as is the government of Cyprus, if not more so, as they have all failed in their supervision of these banking institutions for sufficient capital. 

The ECB and certain EU members putting a gun to the head of a sovereign nation and demanding that they rob their people to protect those who invested knowing there was a risk of loss from the consequences of their bad investment."

http://market-ticker.org/akcs-www?post=219023

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:59 | 3362680 desirdavenir
desirdavenir's picture

Would you say your mortgager "dictates" you to pay 20% upfront and that it is scandalous ? Really, I would like to know...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:54 | 3362054 Max Cynical
Max Cynical's picture

I wonder if Cyprus has assets/reserves in U.S. banks (including gold) that could be frozen/seized by TPTB...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:57 | 3362064 FunkyOldGeezer
FunkyOldGeezer's picture

The bigger question is, why did the IMF want to unsettle the apple cart? This has mostly been of their doing, hasn't it?

Is there something we shold all know, that we haven't thought of or factored in, yet?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:14 | 3362167 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Maybe there's something we should know, but don't forget to never to underestimate the stupidity of a lot of greedy bureaucrats.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:57 | 3362070 Vooter
Vooter's picture

LOLOLOLOLOL...FUCK YOU, YOU NAZI CUNT! Hey, Angela...where's Germany's gold? Where is it?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 10:59 | 3362080 Stud Duck
Stud Duck's picture

The Russians could bail out Cyprus with one days worth of nat gas shipments to Germany. They know what a collaspe is like and would love to watch Europe go through the same as they did.  With all the blood and treasure expended 60 years ago, it appears they still have not larned how to manage an economy with the people in mind.

Oh well, at least the USA is too broke to get involved this time!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:09 | 3362132 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

"Oh well, at least the USA is too broke to get involved this time!"

Haven't you read? The economy is rebounding, the wars are over, and it's ALL RECOVERY, ALL THE TIME!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:02 | 3362094 diana_in_spain
diana_in_spain's picture

did you hear Greg Palast on Alex Jones radio? he says they planned the riots on purpose so they can "solve " the problem with a police crackdown.
Cristine lagarde was opposed to taking money from the depositors with less than 100,000 which is why they are allowing her to be investigated.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:07 | 3362121 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Having looked at the 'riots' - which were the absolute lamest riots I've ever seen (someone shook a fence, some people shouted, there was some pushing, someone held up a handwritten sign), I find this theory easy to believe.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:05 | 3362114 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Here's the latest with live updates from the Telegraph...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/debt-crisis-live/9947568/Cyprus-bailo...

Rumors at this moment are that raiding depositors' funds for a little less than previously stated are back on the table. But it's a little less, (9.46pc instead of 9.9pc) so depositors will be heartened to hear that - why, they might even line up at the ATMs again to put their money back IN!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:07 | 3362125 Critical Path
Critical Path's picture

When is the Hitler video released of him being told that Cyprus has said "Fuck Off"

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:22 | 3362191 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Lol,

Waiting for the Cyprus 'Downfall' vid myself.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 16:04 | 3363550 Vooter
Vooter's picture

Here it is!

http://youtu.be/K5R2JyU_MKg

"Those who warned me to convert my money into gold, go get yourself some crepes..."

LOL...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 16:33 | 3363648 robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

That was as good as when his Camaro SS was stolen.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:10 | 3362136 Meremortal
Meremortal's picture

Merkel: "And how many divisions does Cyprus have?"

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:12 | 3362159 Van Halen
Van Halen's picture

Hysterical!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:18 | 3362180 paulie
paulie's picture

Germans, they are just waiting for one country to leave the eurozone thus triggering an avalanche effect, only to say "we did not start it".

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:00 | 3362384 MS7
MS7's picture

I can believe that... But would Merkel do something so risky now, before the election?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:26 | 3362213 RougeUnderwriter
RougeUnderwriter's picture

Ve hav vays of making you comply; unt some of them are not very pleasant!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:30 | 3362237 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

The SAS is gearing up to 'liberate' Cyprus and rescue British lives bank accounts.

Times are tough so their handing out two bullets each.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:30 | 3362240 Marty Rothbard
Marty Rothbard's picture

Germany should just drop out of the EU, reinstitute the deutchmark, or better yet, create a new currency, called the Gram Gold(GG for short), and tell the greedy little piggies to fuck off.   Trying to  reason with these "other people's money junkies", is a waste o time, and making the fatherland look like a bunch of scolds.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:30 | 3362246 KingdomKum
KingdomKum's picture

[O/T]

 

we few,  we happy few,  we band of silver holders  .  .  . 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:31 | 3362251 gwar5
gwar5's picture

It kinda seems a little obvious now that the real purpose of the EU was not to promote prosperity but to try to control the damage from all the European debt bombs they knew were on their way from the unoffical, hidden liabilities. I mean, even some retards can do simple math.

 

Perhaps they thought by putting everybody in the same sinking boat they could broaden the base for socialism and save it, mitigating the ugly prospect of mass migrations of European economic refugees. 

As a previous post on ZH this morning pointed out, just 3 weeks ago Cyrpus was fine and had passed all stress tests. All of Europe is Cyprus.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:36 | 3362275 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Boy's it's also time after this is over to crash the US dollar and send Bubble Bernanke and the fed in panic mode!!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:36 | 3362280 Joe A
Joe A's picture

EU national anthem should be changed from "Alle Menschen werden Brüder" into "Deutschland Deutschland, über alles".

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:40 | 3362289 viedoklis_lv
viedoklis_lv's picture

I would recommend to Cyprus:

1.) Close tha Banks (bankrupt procedure)

2.) Use all deposits & actives in those Banks to payback to those depositors who had money under 100k EUR

3.) Exit EURO zone

 

By this Cyprus would restart it's all Banking & there fore economic system and would be attractive again to it's stange money investors. This time Banks should invest in Cyprus Gas industry and not in Greece type bonds.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:41 | 3362291 JR
JR's picture

It’s extremely important at this juncture to recognize the German reaction is not the German people but international bankers who speak through the German politicians.

The European debt crisis is a manufactured crisis by international bankers. And Germans, as the rest of Europeans, are not allowed free expression on what they feel about the Eurozone. Obviously, German politicians in the pockets of the international bankers would not dare provide a referendum on Eurozone politicies.

In the same way, Americans would not be allowed a referendum on the policies of the Fed.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:29 | 3363040 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

@ JR, very well said, best comment in this thread!
+++ thumbs up!

People should act in unity to topple all their entire muppet politicians serving The Bankster 'Devils in Prada' Overlords and start their political system all over again from the scratch! This cleanup can only be fulfilled when it's accomplished at the both sides of Atlantic.  The ancestral sin lies in the existence of those banksters, however imperfect the human being is, for sure the mankind will be better off without such bankster devilish creatures in place.

 

"The modern banking system manufactures money out of nothing. The process is perhaps the most astounding piece of sleight of hand that was ever invented. Banking was conceived in inequity and born in sin…Bankers own the earth. Take it away from them but leave them the power to create money, and, with a flick of a pen, they will create enough money to buy it back again…Take this great power away from them and all great fortunes like mine will disappear, for then this would be a better and happier world to live in…But, if you want to continue to be the slaves of bankers and pay the cost of your own slavery, then let bankers continue to create money and control credit." - Sir Josiah Stamp (1880-1941)

President of the Bank of England in the 1920s, the second richest man in Britain, speaking at the Commencement Address of the University of Texas in 1927.

 

    "The Nomadic Parasites will shift out of London and into Manhattan. And this will be presented under a camouflage of national slogans. It will be represented as an American victory. It will not be an American victory.

    Until you know who has lent what to whom, you know nothing whatever of politics, you know nothing whatever of history, you know nothing of international wrangles." - Ezra Pound (1885–1972)

 

"The monopoly of money, or the restriction of its circulation, is merely a variation of this simple form of monopoly. That is all. The stupid fall into the trap. Wars are provoked in succession, deliberately, by the great usurers, in order to create debts, to create scarcity, so that they can extort the interest on these debts, so that they can raise the price of money (i.e., the price of the various monetary units controlled by, or in the possession of, the same autocrats), altering the prices of the various monetary units when it suits them, raising and lowering the prices of the various foodstuffs when it suits them, completely indifferent to the human victim, to the accumulated treasures of civilization, to the cultural heritage." - Ezra Pound (1885–1972)

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:54 | 3363190 Joseph Jones
Joseph Jones's picture

My USA referendum:

Immediately stop all tax free status for every god damn god forsaken "church," period every last one, starting with the synagogue of Satan AKA judaics on down to the last so-called "protestant" that protests nothing.

Outlaw the permanent status of every international relationship.  No more ever can any politician state the USA has some type of "permanent" "unbreakable bond" with any nation.  Hey you Rabbis running Israel: I'm talkin to you you, the only nation on earth that is the capital city of a nation it is not legally part of. 

The next time I hear any one state that Jews, who's DNA is straight from NW Turkey (Khazaria), the next time I hear anyone state that God gave Jews Israel I will puke in your face.  How did such a straight out scientifically provable lie become the law of the land?  This is more of a lie than claiming the earth is flat, because no flat earther ever killed anyone over their lie.

Hey, I came from Mars, and Martians landed in Israel before the Jews did, so I want me and my family to receive permanent status as owners of Israel right now.  God says so, and you gotta obey God. 

I don't care that the USA Constitution outlaws government religions.  Jews and God and Israel trump the Constitution, and everyone knows that!

In Jewish DNA we trust!  All the rest of you gentiles/goyim mongrels can go to hell.   

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:44 | 3362306 DeliciousSteak
DeliciousSteak's picture

You people have no idea huh. Germany is setting up the blame game. If SHTF in Cyprus and by contagion in Greece, which then pulls down Club Med, we'll all know who is to blame. It seems to me the EZ might have fulfilled its purpose, now it's time to move on.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:51 | 3362326 realtick
realtick's picture

http://projectcamelot.org/lang/en/joseph_farrell_interview_transcript_en...

 

 

BR:  But that is: If there is such a thing as a central power base of the Nazis now, where is it? Who are they? And what strings are they pulling? And why should we care?

JF:  Ah... Germany and some of the major politicians. [laughs]

BR:  Germany? Now?

JF:  Germany. Yeah.

BR:  Really! I didn’t know you were going to say that!

JF:  Yeah, as surprising as it may seem. One of the things that I looked at very carefully is the German Reunification. When the Berlin Wall falls, it falls on the exact date—I forget the exact numerical date in my head—but it falls on the exact date of the anniversary of Kristallnacht in 1938.

BR:  Hm.

JF:  It falls... and that, incidentally, is the anniversary of the Beer Hall Putsch. Okay?

BR:  Okay.

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:49 | 3362329 Siouxwestern
Siouxwestern's picture

I have to admit the ZH of late seems a bit of a whiny occupier screed when it comes to Cyprus. Cyrpus has been broken for months, and it sought yet another round of never-pay-back welfare payments from the Troika. Of course the Troika will say no unless there is at least a token removal of moral hazard; what rational group would say yes? Bashing the Germans, here, as if their position is irrational (i.e., continuing to call them paymaster) seems to be the "I don't understand any of this but I like to go to protest rallys" sort of reaction.

Why not refer to Cyprus as the broken Russian dacha crony resort island? Etc.

The implications for the Euro and other matters financial, are interesting and why I like ZH, it is ahead of others and suffers no nonsense. But the occupier-ish name calling detracts from the otherwise solid analysis.

Yeah I know Germany has blood on its hands for setting up the Euro, etc. Enough of that, it sounds like someone who blames their lousy lot on life on slavery.

Just my 2 grams.

 

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:58 | 3362371 jomama
jomama's picture

don't forget the bitchcoin lovefest!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:52 | 3362647 desirdavenir
desirdavenir's picture

maybe the market needs a few more short squeeze to go higher.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:03 | 3363145 matrix2012
matrix2012's picture

perhaps just think the other way, put here once again:

"The face of Hitler is nothing but Zionist propaganda!"

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 19:14 | 3364248 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

What the real problem with the whole concept of the euro is is that you have 17 countries with 17 different ethnicities, with 17 different political systems, with 17 different capacities of gdp, with 17 different ideas for austerity and spending, 17 different incomes, with 17 different leaders who have chosen 17 different methods to save the fucking $17 euros they have left to split amongst the 17 different countries! 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:53 | 3362353 Cycle
Cycle's picture

Because in Europe, like everywhere else, it is quid (even if it will soon be quit)-pro-quo.

More like Goldsquid pro quo

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:55 | 3362363 Paracelsus
Paracelsus's picture

Didn't Iceland try to seek a loan from Russia? Can't remember....

Very curious about the CDS insurance someone has gotta carry on this Cypriot bank situation. Not looking good at all. JP Morgan gonna take a hit? And,....the US Taxpayer comes to the rescue again.... 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 11:58 | 3362379 deaglecat
deaglecat's picture

Soz peeps but it is clear that the books need to be balanced.

Personally, I think that the Cypriots have made their bed.   Now it is time to pay the piper.

No sympathy for their predicament as a nation, but as individual depositors, it is a tragedy.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:09 | 3362422 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

What if their "solution" is to wipe out 100% of the depostiors' monies to make the ailing bondholders whole?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:52 | 3362645 desirdavenir
desirdavenir's picture

what bondholders ? on banks ?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:10 | 3362426 Lord Of Finance
Lord Of Finance's picture

I have no comment to add. I just decided to respond so I could recieve my daily red arrow. It looks like my odds greatly increased today.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:34 | 3363104 akak
akak's picture

Ask and ye shall receive.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 21:47 | 3364702 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

I gave you a red arrow as well ... this time.

Now go on, ya bum. Quit hanging around begging for spare red arrows and go work for them like everyone else.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:14 | 3362440 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

I say that Cyprus challenges Merkel to a rugby match. Winner gets to tell loser what is going to occur.

http://www.espnscrum.com/scrum/rugby/story/178809.html

 

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:14 | 3362441 wonderatitall
wonderatitall's picture

same as the inslaved "states" of amerikka... but here as soon as herr obama gets off vacation and hearing himself talk you get yo ass droned by daddy...bow down and serve the won....

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:19 | 3362460 goldenbuddha454
goldenbuddha454's picture

Cyprus making mein fuhrer angry is not a good idea.  Correction, mein fuhress!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:36 | 3362563 Lebensphilosoph
Lebensphilosoph's picture

"Germany is angry"? Germany? Germany is not a liviing being. Germany cannot be 'angry'. I swear if I see one more moron here saying that Germany this or Germany that I'm going to grab a 12-gauge and shoot somebody.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:12 | 3363005 Cycle
Cycle's picture

I know what you mean - I also find those kinds of logical typing errors are highly annoying, because they start off as "short cuts" and then take on an illogical life of their own.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:45 | 3362616 smacker
smacker's picture

 

 

Comments to this article look to have been heavily trolled, judging by the high number of "-1"s that have suddenly appeared, many of them against harmless comments.

{shrug}

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:18 | 3363302 Joe A
Joe A's picture

Like against your comments I noticedas well. Well, the EU put funds available for trolling any negative article regarding the EU so perhaps we are witnessing that. Or else zee people at the Bundes Nachrichtendienst are working late on Friday.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 12:50 | 3362638 desirdavenir
desirdavenir's picture

Could some of the commenters put a bit of context, and explain why this is different from:

  • the UK reneging on its promise to stay in the SME, and thereby stealing 15% overnight from foreign depositors ;
  • the US reneging on the dollar-gold convertibility, and thereby making a one-finger-salute to all its allies.

I mean an explanation that goes beyond the obvious "UK and US are good, and Europe is bad".  About diktats, how do you called the takeover of Detroit by the Governor of Michigan, BTW ?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:30 | 3362803 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

People who place deposits in a bank are unsophisticated civilians who have been led to believe that their deposits are safe.

Ex post facto rule changes to benefit bankers so they can keep their jobs is wrong. Laws have already been set up to allow for bankruptcy protection and these laws keep being bypassed, which allows for the same fuckers to stay in place.

 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:12 | 3362729 Jim in MN
Jim in MN's picture

 

 

Curious Putin: "Germans' decision to stay warm in the winter is unacceptable"

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:15 | 3362737 Watson
Watson's picture

'Furious Merkel'

She probably is.
She is a member of the post-WW2 German generation that has somehow been brainwashed into a 'United States of Europe' dream that anyone in 'greater Europe' can suck at the German teat, as a free reward for Hitler's behaviour.

She can barely understand the attitude of the Greeks/Spanish etc., who having been given access to financial resources far above what they have ever worked for, squander those resources on real estate or just 'the good life', whereas a good German would at least save, or possibly build a real business, rather that just buying another bank-financed house as a gamble.

When the EUR implodes, German banks will be in trouble and German exports will probably fall.
But Soffin was strengthened to sort out the banks, and reduced exports mean a reduction of profit, not outright loss (and Germany exports beyond the EUR-area anyway).
So Germany gets some pain, but food/fuel and democracy will all remain.

But in Spain/Greece/etc?
No fuel. No (imported)food. Chaos.
Probable military government.

Frankly I have sympathy for Merkel...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:21 | 3362760 smacker
smacker's picture

You need to swot up on Merkel's actual personal life history.....

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:43 | 3362869 Brit_Abroad
Brit_Abroad's picture

Farkin right !!

That POS is indeed very deserving of a rope tie.

I vote her for this years Order of the Lamppost.

I guess now I go on the BND's list of suspicious persons.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:23 | 3363330 Joe A
Joe A's picture

She was born in West Germany in 1954. Then her father who was a pastor decided they should move East Germany (?!!!). She was a member of the communist youth movement or something. She claimed to e quite innocent at that but people said she was quite fanatic. When the wall came down she made about turn and rose up quickly up the ladder. Her superiors surprisingly were quickly unmasked as ex-Stasi people. I dont know the exact details but she is very ambicious.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 19:15 | 3364271 smacker
smacker's picture

 

 

Yes, quite a bit of that is right I believe. Somewhere along the line she was educated in Russia because of her father's political connections, and she speaks fluent Russian. I believe she achieved the level of communist youth leader rather than just a regular member. I also believe she has knifed quite a few people in the back to secure promotion, first in East Germany and now Germany. There was a lot of controversy when a new German President was elected/appointed because he also originates from East Germany but, unlike her, had nothing to do with the commie party/Stasi and apparently he knows where all her skeletons are buried. I'm surprised he hasn't had an accident already. It amazes me how she was ever allowed to join the German CDU and how Kohl pushed her up the ranks to eventually become leader of the party. Somethng very fishy there methinks...

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