This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

A Lesson In Magical European "Value Creation"

Tyler Durden's picture


Behold a lesson in magical "value creation":

  • SPAIN'S BANK RESCUE FUND TO VALUE BANKIA SHARES AT EUR 0.01 - As a reminder, Bankia is the recently broke bank that was created when it subsumed a bunch of other formerly broke banks.

To explain for those confused: you start with a broke, literally, bank. You value the "equity" at the lowest possible increment in existence. Then you apply a reverse stock split. And finally, you end up with a perfectly solvent bank whose stock trades at EUR 1.00/share.

Financial magic and pristine solvency, European style.


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:37 | 3362838 edb5s
edb5s's picture

Stranger than fiction...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:40 | 3362843 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Just like Shitigroup, different country though...........

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:42 | 3362859 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Ponzi.  Now if they did that with Treasuries, and the Fed was the only buyer, ........  oh, wait a minute.........


Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:43 | 3362865 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

and you don't trigger a CDS event.

Nothing ever triggers a CDS event.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:47 | 3362893 flacon
flacon's picture

Bernanke walks into a pizza shop and orders one large pizza. The waiter asks him if he would like it cut into six or eight pieces. Bernanke replies: "Eight slices please. I've very hungry."

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:10 | 3362996 YBNguy
YBNguy's picture

Someone is getting paid tax dollars, at this very moment, to surf zerohedge and downvote every comment. Maybe a penny per vote... 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:29 | 3363086 rcintc
rcintc's picture

I'm ready to go short.....

Sat, 03/23/2013 - 14:34 | 3366166 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Better than what they used to do....collect cans and ten dolla knee bends to feed the crack habit.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:17 | 3363033 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

you made my day, flacon

seriously... haven't stopped laughing out loud

keep em comin

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:55 | 3363191 balolalo
balolalo's picture

They are playing three card monty with people's lives. 

Buy physical assests, they can't reverse split that. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:08 | 3363250 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Great in joke, flacon - I could tell it to 20 of my friends, and I'm pretty sure only one of them would get it.

(You could substitute Merkel and it would still work...)

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:54 | 3362929 blu
blu's picture

If anything ever even once triggers a CDS of any kind it will be the end of the entire financial world. In seconds.

Buying CDS is throwing money down the toilet. Money managers do it because it's in the checklist of Smart Things Smart Guys Do.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:02 | 3362968 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

Larry Motherfucking FINK is long Bankia, and he's richer than Jamie Douchebag Dimon

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:11 | 3362999 tickhound
tickhound's picture

You're relentless... Glad to see Larry mf'ing Fink is no longer flying under the radar.  The Arch-criminal has now told humanity "HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOU" to your face.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:11 | 3363002 Stackers
Stackers's picture

And everyone with shares of Bankia just lost 99% of their money ?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:25 | 3363072 gina distrusts gov
gina distrusts gov's picture

When Bankio was created out of the many smaller bankrupt Sp. banks the deposeters got shares in exchange for there deposets. how do they feel about this game.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:14 | 3363282 californiagirl
californiagirl's picture

At Bankia shares slides right back down to 0.01 again, post split.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:04 | 3362973 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

i'll buy that for a dollar..........not

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:45 | 3362885 negative rates
negative rates's picture

I get it, everyone gets .01 worth of their stock, and it's YOUR job to do the 100 to 1 ratio reverse to make it a whole share. Hows about we just add another ball to your juggling act. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:50 | 3362908 blu
blu's picture

And they can split it again in 100 days. Have that bitch back at 40/share trading on vapors and nobody the wiser.

Then -- performace bonus time! Boo-yah!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 21:07 | 3364601 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

No kidding, no kidding.  They are doing exactly what we did.  Spain is about to go down also.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:43 | 3362863 Key-Rick
Key-Rick's picture

Uncle Ben's got nothing on the Euro-fags!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:43 | 3362867 blu
blu's picture

Mega-bullish!! My straight ruler has this stock at 1000 by May! Get in now before the crowd!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:49 | 3362903 Mark123
Mark123's picture

Ben is pissed...he wants his magic PHD ruler back.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:45 | 3362887 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

These bastards make up any old shit as they go along.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:46 | 3363166 mr1963
mr1963's picture

It's hard to trade under .01, it's easy to trade under 1.00. Look at it this way, it's about to trade at .01 again...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:38 | 3362840 reload
reload's picture

Sounds awesome - where can I get a prospectus and share aplication form?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 18:18 | 3364100 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Without a Spiderman towel, you cannot play...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:39 | 3362841 redpill
redpill's picture

Oppa Spaignam Style

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:39 | 3362845 tokengator
tokengator's picture

Looks legit. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:40 | 3362848 ZeroPower
ZeroPower's picture

Nice. Let's hope we get some magic bankia bonds which are priced at >100 too!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:41 | 3362852 Dull Which
Dull Which's picture

Seems reasonable in the current climate

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:41 | 3362858 pashley1411
pashley1411's picture
  • bullshit.

    They will be priced 1.00 Eur, until the shares hit the market.   They are worth less than the paper they are printed on.  

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:48 | 3362900 Mark123
    Mark123's picture

    What market?  Ben will buy them at $1, then sell them to himself at $20...then use the profit to prop up the world.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:57 | 3362942 Eally Ucked
    Eally Ucked's picture

    I don't think so. If they properly wrote down all losses then that paper is worth much more than any other banks. If they have even minimal recoveries in the value of loans in the future the value of that paper would increase. But there is big IF there.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:42 | 3362860 insanelysane
    insanelysane's picture

    Perfect solution for Cyprus, too.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:42 | 3362861 toys for tits
    toys for tits's picture

    Should of just priced it as one Zimbabwe dollar.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:42 | 3362862 geotrader
    geotrader's picture


    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:45 | 3362866 falak pema
    falak pema's picture

    why european style?

    Spanish style. No european involvement there which is apparent, unless I miss something.

    Words have meaning. Rajoy and consorts are spanish; just like those cyprus banks are cypriot.

    Sovereign states and local shenanigans.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:44 | 3362870 Mongo
    Mongo's picture

    Collateralized LOL

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:44 | 3362871 Joebloinvestor
    Joebloinvestor's picture

    Hire Rumplestiltskin and get a load of hay.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:43 | 3362872 Kreditanstalt
    Kreditanstalt's picture

    This is something like taking a foreclosed house with a current market value of $0.05, burning it down and then revaluing the now-vacant lot upon which it sits at $50,000...

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:46 | 3362890 Mark123
    Mark123's picture

    you just started the great fire of Detroit!!!!!!!!


    You have blood on your hands!!!!!

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:45 | 3362874 squid virtuous
    squid virtuous's picture

    Como se llama "March Madness"?

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:45 | 3362878 Mark123
    Mark123's picture

    This is a joke right?


    Take 10 people with an IQ each of 10, and give them a problem to work on.  It will have the same result as givng the problem to a person with an IQ of 100.  or better yet 100 people with IQ of 10 and you have the greatest mind in the universe.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:45 | 3362880 Cacete de Ouro
    Cacete de Ouro's picture

    A positive valuation only exists since the Bank Rescue Fund values the pre reverse split shares at a positive non zero value, so the shares outstanding have a positive value. The other steps are immaterial. If the shares are non worth 0.01 then the valuation is flawed and the market will determine the price.

    Just sayin'

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:45 | 3362881 optionsman
    optionsman's picture

    thx Tyler. speechless about that and about price discovery in the "markets" ;) tgif

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:45 | 3362883 Jack Burton
    Jack Burton's picture

    Financial engineering. This field now attracts some of the greatest minds in math and physics, these skills added to banker sharks and presto! Any number of something for nothing schemes!

    We have witnessed these skills applied to banking and trading now for over a full decade. While technology and human advancement needs these great maths and physics people to apply their skills to advancement of the human knoweldge and condition, instead the lure of easy money and fake wealth attracts and captures their skills.

    HFT and derivatives trading just a few such fake wealth creators. More like weath skimmers. Financial engineers seek to create a playing field in which the few wealth creators and productive workers left can have most of their wealth creation skimmed off by sharks who rig every game, who rig every market, who simply now make the rules!

    Bernanke is their great enabler. The world's central banks steal, via inflation, from the population and feeds the cash into the financial engineers for ZIRP and in unlimited quantities. The Fed hands over 82 billion a month in free money to America's financiers, and they use it to skim away whatever is not nailed down.

    The EU plays this same game.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:46 | 3362889 Zer0head
    Zer0head's picture

    Off Topic

    Blackstone BX America's Landlord

    - this is how they treat some of there other tenants (they own SeaWorld)

    'Killer whales at Seaworld had teeth removed with power drills


    Meanwhile at BX HQ - who else but Marco Rubio and Mr. Schwartzman (  for a fun day with some Penguins - these people are sick





    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:48 | 3362896 morning
    morning's picture

    Then you short it to oblivion and they rinse, repeat, and deathspiral for eternity. Even if you cannot short it, anyone will sell lower after a while.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:47 | 3362898 nonclaim
    nonclaim's picture

    Instead of a 1 trillion coin they got a 1 trillion shares.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:49 | 3362904 Dr. Richard Head
    Dr. Richard Head's picture

    You see these aren't any ordinary beans.....

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:52 | 3362911 orangedrinkandchips
    orangedrinkandchips's picture


    HOMER SIMPSON: Ooh, look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the Magical Man from Happy-Land, in a gumdrop house on Lollipop Lane! Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic!



    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:55 | 3362930 NoTTD
    NoTTD's picture

    He just needs some floor pie to settle him down.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:52 | 3362912 Dr. Engali
    Dr. Engali's picture

    I wonder how much the government paid serial junker is getting paid. Will Obummer make a special medal for them too like the drone pilots medal?

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:57 | 3362936 blu
    blu's picture

    Better they work out their issues here, rather than at a mall with an assault rifle.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:58 | 3362944 MsCreant
    MsCreant's picture

    Duck, Doc. More incomiiiiiiiiiing (junks, too funny)!

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:24 | 3363073 MsCreant
    MsCreant's picture

    Ahhhhhh! I've been hit, I've been hit!

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:29 | 3363085 blu
    blu's picture

    Stop being such a sissy. I've seen you with a lot more junks than that before.

    There I junked you myself. See it didn't hurt.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:35 | 3363113 MsCreant
    MsCreant's picture

    Take that, right between the tits!

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:44 | 3363154 blu
    blu's picture

    Hey watch it! I've set people on fire for less than that.

    Now look you made me spill something on my keyboard.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:57 | 3363198 MsCreant
    MsCreant's picture

    Food or water balloons would be better. Been fun throwing junk around with you though.

    The junk in the trunk is emblematic of the Central bank screwing we are all receiving, that's it!

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:02 | 3363215 blu
    blu's picture

    There is definitely not enough food fighting. Speaking of which, I see the captain has turned on the "lunch time" cabin light.

    See ya!

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:34 | 3363107 tickertapeguide
    tickertapeguide's picture

    It's the Bernak, he's pissed about Wednesdays questioning from the insolent minions during his press conf...

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:38 | 3363126 blu
    blu's picture

    He's probably crying his eyes out right now, muttering and clutching his teddy bear in desperation, all the while clicking down-votes all over ZH until his wee fingers bleed.

    To feel better, he'll bail-out AIG again even if they don't want it.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:58 | 3362946 nonclaim
    nonclaim's picture

    Maybe it is new tax on ZH commenters?

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:53 | 3362917 short screwed
    short screwed's picture

    What's the ticker symbol? I want to put an order in as soon as possible.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:53 | 3362923 infinity8
    infinity8's picture

    That's "innovation".

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:54 | 3362926 NoTTD
    NoTTD's picture

    "Trade" to whom?

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 13:56 | 3362933 orangedrinkandchips
    orangedrinkandchips's picture

    Hey rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my ass!!


    beyond fucking comprehension. 

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:00 | 3362951 blu
    blu's picture

    You just know there are a bunch of banking wonks back in Spain giggling their asses off over how they pulled a fast one.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:01 | 3362961 Jim in MN
    Jim in MN's picture



    Sanity Watch: Negative

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:05 | 3362979 Peter K
    Peter K's picture

    And it's just that easy. :)

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:06 | 3362980 besnook
    besnook's picture

    pravda on the end of the eurozone. hilarious. begins with marx and religion as opiate and ends with the glory of wealth. putin is grinning from ear to ear.


    Crisis in Cyprus shows collapse of the West 20.03.2013  

    In 2014, all EU countries will hold parliamentary elections that may be won by the opponents of European integration. Recent EU measures to stabilize the situation in Cyprus showed that the foundations of the ideology of the Western world based on the Catholic and Protestant faiths have been undermined. The West is trying to explain its hurried decisions with the pressure from the Russian Federation.

    After the summit in Brussels approved a plan of Cyprus "rescue" (by providing a tranche of 10 billion euros in exchange for the withdrawal of 10 percent of all deposits in the country), it became clear that this was the beginning of the end for the united Europe. The basis of any state ideology is religion. The measures undermined confidence in the notion sacred for Catholics and Protestants - inviolability of private property. Expropriation is a measure completely alien to the Western mentality and may lead to a social unrest. Jean-Claude Juncker, Luxembourg Prime Minister and former President of the Eurogroup (the club of finance ministers of the euro area) said that against the background of recession and rising unemployment he did not rule out the risk of a social rebellion.

    The measure so far has been implemented only in Orthodox Cyprus (Orthodoxy, unlike Catholicism, encourages sharing and sees the path to salvation in poverty). However, people in many countries began to worry, even in the U.S., as the practice may become universal, particularly in those countries that have requested assistance from the EU, i.e., Spain, Ireland, Portugal, and Italy.


    Meanwhile, Forbes magazine has already drawn parallels with the Great Depression in the United States that would not have been that destructive if the Federal Reserve abstained from a similar measure. The magazine wrote that Cyprus did away with the guarantees on bank deposits and removed protection from flight of capital, which may result in a cascade of bankruptcies. Indeed, regardless of what the European Commission says, people got alarmed and started withdrawing or transferring their investments to other currencies and countries. The euro is dropping in value against the national currencies and the dollar.

    British magazine The Economist called this not only nonsense, but a catastrophe and said that the decision was unfair, short-sighted and self-defeating. The injustice is in the fact that the measure affected ordinary depositors, while holders of debt obligations have not been affected, the magazine wrote. The measure is called short-sighted because it would lead to risks and flight of capital. Also, these measures undermine the political credibility of the rescue program under the auspices of the EU. Reuters agency wrote that the Cypriot government would be forced to violate one of its most important promises - a promise that the contributions under 100,000 euros would be safe.

    The European Union decided to clear the air by utilizing the old mechanism of blaming Russia that allegedly is most affected by the proposed measures. Raúl Ilargi Meijer from Business Insider speculated that with 37 percent of the deposits in Cyprus, Russians heavily pressured European politicians to take this populist decision - to punish the perpetrators, which made the Europeans neglect the consequences. Gavin Hewitt of the BBC agreed, saying that the Germans suspected that half of the deposits in the banks of the island belonged to the Russians, and these deposits are made for money laundering. Therefore, according to Hewitt, the Germans did not want to continue to save Cyprus by giving it money. The statement of Finance Minister of the Russian Federation Anton Siluyanov that in exchange for the extension of the credit to Cyprus (EUR 5 billion) Russia may require it to provide all the data on the Russian owners of the capital of the island only added fuel to the fire.

    It turns out that Russia began fighting corruption and "let down" Europe. Unfortunately, the EU is falling apart without Russian participation. There is no unity anywhere, including politics. Besides the opposition of the "hardworking North" and "lazy and irresponsible South", there are other conflicts, such as creditor countries vs. debtor countries, as well as contradictions between the leaders. Germany is accused of usurping power, the UK raised the issue of withdrawal from the EU, and France is unilaterally sending troops to Mali and is going to supply weapons to the Syrian terrorists. There is no peace and quiet at the national level either. Nationalists became active in all directions, from extreme left to extreme right. In Portugal, protesters are singing a revolutionary anthem "Grândola," Spain is splitting before our eyes torn by separatist movements, in Greece the Nazis emerged in the Parliament, and in France the far-right "National Front" of Marine Le Pen is activating. In Italy at the parliamentary elections a "clown prince" comedian Beppe Grillo secured sensational 25 percent of votes. In Germany, a new party "Alternative for Germany" was created that calls for the dissolution of the euro area and creation of small alliances with "some countries with healthy economies," namely, Austria, Finland and the Netherlands.

    Founded on the basis of ideological confrontation with the Soviet Union, the European Union has created a system of social protection that the Soviet people could not even dream about. The benefits included average pension of 600 euros, year-end and Christmas bonuses, unemployment payments nearly equal to salary, and great medical insurance. But these guarantees were based not on the income growth of the real sector but the speculative funds of the banking sector. The crisis of 2008 caused the neoliberal economic model to collapse. Europe's population does not want to live as one family any longer. The term "welfare state" has disappeared from the vocabulary of politicians. ZDF channel reported that nearly half of Germans believe that their country would be better off without the euro. In other countries this percentage is much higher. In Spain, for example, it is 75 percent, in Portugal - 68, according to the Eurobarometer.

    The election of Pope Francis, who first spoke about the Catholic Church as the Church of the poor, denying, in fact, wealth as a virtue, shows that the crisis in the West has moved from the economic and political spheres to religious and ideological ones. It makes its leaders and the elite face a dilemma - either change the model of wealth distribution and the burden of difficulties, or be destroyed.

    Lyuba Lulko


    Read the original in Russian

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:38 | 3363128 teolawki
    teolawki's picture

    It turns out that Russia began fighting corruption and "let down" Europe.

    LMFAO! More like Putin torpedoed a few of his Russian competitors and the EU at the same time. Richly ironic that the torpedo was supplied by Germany's Merkel.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:11 | 3362987 ptoemmes
    ptoemmes's picture

    I need change. Anyone got two twenties for my ten?

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:11 | 3363001 BrigstockBoy
    BrigstockBoy's picture

    Reminds me of the TruPS CDOs put together for community banks. The securities weren't investment grade but the IB houses got out their knives cut them up into various tranches and the rating agencies said investment grade. Little banks in two shoes Iowa were getting pricing of L+135bps. Ridiculous...

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:12 | 3363006 Cacete de Ouro
    Cacete de Ouro's picture

    Someone has gone to the trouble of minus 1'ing all comments....a spanish bank rescue trojan maybe?

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:15 | 3363023 blu
    blu's picture

    Someone ready to have a mental breakdown.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:23 | 3363065 ziggy59
    ziggy59's picture

    Hey, Junker...junk this..


    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:24 | 3363069 ziggy59
    ziggy59's picture

    I should be so innovative with my taxes this year. Timmy, any ideas?

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:32 | 3363095 Clowns on Acid
    Clowns on Acid's picture

    you see ...we have 3 shells see the pea ? Ok, moving the shells around ...which shell has the pea this time?

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:40 | 3363135 blu
    blu's picture

    It's spelled "p-e-e" and I think it's mostly in my shoe now.

    I don't know why they call this financial innovation when all I end up doing is buying new shoes all the time.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:41 | 3363137 Cacete de Ouro
    Cacete de Ouro's picture

    I got a minus 2, I must be doing something right. Roll
    in minus tedium sets in...

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:47 | 3363161 Black Markets
    Black Markets's picture

    Who wrote this shite?

    If you do a reverse shares split the value is unchanged.

    The value of any company is determined by...

    share price X number of shares in issue

    If you do a reverse share split at 100:1 all that happens is you convert the shares into new shares at a ratio of 100:1 so every share holder has 100 times fewer shares.

    The result is that the price rises 100 fold, but no value is created and no shareholder receives any money. As the formula for the value of the company is the same...

    (Share price X 100) X (number of shares in issue / 100)

    The reason why they have done this is because of the increments at which the shares are traded on the exchange. If a share falls 90% the increments become 10 times more significant and it hurts the liquidity of the exchange.

    It's has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with value.

    And whoever wrote this article is a thick as pig shit.

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 14:57 | 3363196 ziggy59
    ziggy59's picture

    Merkel, is that you? Are you still upset from my DECAF and martini post earlier ?

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:28 | 3363359 SheepDog-One
    SheepDog-One's picture

    Magical 100-1 leverage...EAT IT BITCHEZ!

    Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:51 | 3363480 Scalaris
    Scalaris's picture

    Reverse stock splits: the alchemy of converting shit, into identically shit-like consolidated shit.

    Otherwise known as the plight of the penny share.

    Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!