Wearing A Bailout On Your Wrist, Or Why Cyprus Should Speak To The Ukraine

Tyler Durden's picture


As the Cypriots scramble for every penny, hoping for a Hail-Mary from Russia at the last minute, we suspect they are missing one potential provider of all that money. That nation appears to be Russian neighbor, The  Ukraine judging from the 'wealth' exhibited by some members of the Ukrainian parliament. As EnglishRussia.com notes, a $650,000 watch is no problem if you create laws in Ukraine as we humbly suggest some that wealth (the rare watch is special order (here) with only 30 being made) trickle down to the Cypriots (of course at EUR400 per day per person) - they only need 7,000 watches to plug their bailout funding hole!

(h/t Nolsgrad, via EnglishRussia.com)

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Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:33 | 3363385 ZH11
ZH11's picture

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:39 | 3363414 flacon
flacon's picture

Shit I was thinking of buying one of those $0.99 casio's since my watch died last year. 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:46 | 3363453 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Ukranians exist in a distorted "pricing" magnetosphere...


You got $5 skanks charging $2,000 a trick...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:56 | 3363509 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

ukraine's got talent, and she's hot hothot    !!


Fri, 03/22/2013 - 16:01 | 3363531 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

cyprus is like when you are a kid and your mother and father are yelling and you don't exactly know what it is about but it seems like they are angry at you even though you aren't the one who had lipstick on the collar 

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 16:17 | 3363590 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

I would consider anybody that buys and wears one of those to be a dumb f___ even if it was real..., I doubt that one is.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 22:49 | 3364843 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

You can take a Country out of Communism, but you cannot take Communism out of a Country.

Hang-on, what about American or European politicians, how much bling to they have?

We may very well have to EAT. THEM. ALL.


This has been an Agenda21 announcement: 10 Gallons of water, per person, per day, per-haps!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 16:02 | 3363534 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

If I had a girlfriend that moved like that I swear I would NEVER let her out of the bed!!!  My wife would probably be pissed, but anyway......

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 21:22 | 3364646 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I luv it!  She's so...wiggly! :>D

Sat, 03/23/2013 - 04:04 | 3365080 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Finally, a Woman who could handle that four hour erection.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 21:16 | 3364625 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Don't worry, the Ukraine is having major finacial problems.  Once they are back in play for a bailout those 5 dollar skanks will be in competition for the high end ladies that go for 7 dollars.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:50 | 3363456 knukles
knukles's picture

First thought was of that movie, whatever the name was, where the guy wouldn't give the robber his watch so the robber just chopped his arm off.

Time's a comin' folks....


BTW... Hasn't anybody ever told him never to wear a striped shirt with a striped suit?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:53 | 3363496 Cursive
Cursive's picture


I think this actually happened in the late 80's (I heard about it at the time) in the Seattle area to a guy wearing a locked Rolex.  I think it was a chainsaw or something.  Maybe just an urban legend.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:57 | 3363513 knukles
knukles's picture

No, I think you're right...

Fucking chain saw your watch off
Sounds like something shoulda been in Pulp Fiction

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:59 | 3363526 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

My first thought was that's the kind of watch you'd hide up your ass, like in Pulp Fiction.


Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:51 | 3363479 FrozenOut
FrozenOut's picture

Dump the watches. Google Glass man!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 19:14 | 3364268 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

650K for a fucking watch they saw that cunt coming, there again he is dumb ass politician.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 19:57 | 3364415 Karl von Bahnhof
Karl von Bahnhof's picture

Certainly you dont´ sit in the ukrainian parliament :)

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:33 | 3363386 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

I think he sells marriage visas on the side

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:55 | 3363498 gaoptimize
gaoptimize's picture

Whatever they cost now, cheap at twice the price!  I got the most awesome woman from there for just a few pennies on the dollar, never mind the awesome children she has given me. The equivalent of $2,000 a night consort for a king for the price of a $5 trick.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:34 | 3363394 Lendo
Lendo's picture

Probably a Chinese fake..

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:50 | 3363476 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I'll spend the $213, buy a truck, a home in the Redoubt, a small arsenal, and a pile, a BIG pile of PM's with the rest...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 16:14 | 3363540 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



You can get a much better "platinum" fake at the Lo Wu KCR station for under $200.  You cannot tell the difference unless you are a jeweler, and even then maybe not.  The quality of the fake Rolexes is absolutely sublime, and they even sell fake repair parts and bands, fake boxes, and fake certificates of authenticity.

Visit that place one time and it becomes hard to ever buy a "real" luxury watch, purse, or sunglasses again.  How are you going to know?


Fri, 03/22/2013 - 16:32 | 3363643 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

LOL, I've actually been there the picture was an awesome flashback.... a excellent post 'hedgeless' and the copies are just sensational.  Even the movement is impossible for the layman to tell.  Even buying from a Rolex dealer is risky....

Still, I cannot see the point why anyone would buy a fake watch.

It's a nice place, by the way, and is more than just for shopping.  However, if you do go to shop then better with a local or Hong Kong friend.  When you shop walk somewhere else and let the local buy for you... it will be a third cheaper on the already cheap price, etc. Awesome high quality denim and other items... I think they just come from the same factory that makes the real stuff.  Hardly anyone displays a price it's all negotiable.

All the HK residents go to shop on the weekend for a few hours using the subway and trains. Plus you can smoke, spit and the food and drink is just fantastic. 

Gan bei Bitchez!!

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 21:56 | 3364731 MaxMax
MaxMax's picture

Well, I own some quality watches and some fake ones.  I bought the fakes to see if I would like the watch after a few weeks of wearing.  None of the fakes comes even close to the real thing.  It would be great if the fakes really could fool me, but you can tell if you have worn the real thing once you feel it.  From a distance, it would be hard to tell though.  I keep the fakes lying around in case I ever get burglarized.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 23:41 | 3364919 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

You gave me an idea -keepingg fake watches in case you're burglarized and some fake bullion in case it's confiscated.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:52 | 3363494 onewayticket2
onewayticket2's picture

a fake?  that's fitting.....the entire situation is a fake....fake economy, fake political philosophy, fake financial statements, fake press conferences....

Sat, 03/23/2013 - 00:02 | 3364938 Agent P
Agent P's picture

To be fair, it's still a real watch.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:55 | 3363505 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Umm, u ever see the Italian Job?
Three things you dont mess with...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:50 | 3363460 Larry Darrell
Larry Darrell's picture

If going fake, he could have sprung for the Platinum edition to pretend he spent $750,000 or even gone the "Diamond" version...............'Contact Us for Pricing'

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:53 | 3363497 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

If youre asking , you cant afford it

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 16:35 | 3363656 Dave Thomas
Dave Thomas's picture

Yes that's all very nice and all but does it tell the time in Gstaad?

Sat, 03/23/2013 - 10:13 | 3365367 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

In Gstaad time tells watches

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 16:46 | 3363688 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

Anyone know when the 'Tungsten' edition is coming out?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:34 | 3363395 RougeUnderwriter
RougeUnderwriter's picture

Takes  licking and keeps on ticking - Cyprus that is

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:36 | 3363398 fourchan
fourchan's picture

watch? thats a gdp.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:36 | 3363402 semperfi
semperfi's picture

how about just ONE trillion Euro platinum coin ?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:43 | 3363409 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Genghis Khan, how fucking fitting is that?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:39 | 3363412 kralizec
kralizec's picture

Good target for the rolex girls, or whatever they may call themselves now. . .

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:40 | 3363423 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

A ho by another other name...

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:40 | 3363413 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     I hope his health insurance policy has a  'body part replacement ' inclusion.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:45 | 3363418 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The thing looks ridiculous to me, but then again what do I know....I don't get $500,000 a day for pushing a button.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:40 | 3363420 Catfish
Catfish's picture

that is one ugly watch.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:44 | 3363440 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

Yea frankly I wouldn't pay $10 for that ridiculous lookin thing....but then again I'm not a member of the Billionaire Handjob Boys club like this guy is where shit like that carries great weight. 

Biz card scene from 'American Psycho' comes to mind.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:48 | 3363463 knukles
knukles's picture


Fri, 03/22/2013 - 16:56 | 3363713 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

LOL... memo to the Tylers.  The default font should be changed to reflect the blogs standing or at a minimum reviewed.


Eggshell with Romalian type. What does everyone think ?
A Rogue Bateman


Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:45 | 3363444 moonman
moonman's picture

Is that the new Iwatch?

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:48 | 3363459 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

In other news, everyones all-in for hope that all is well come Monday morning...to hell with guys like this I hope they all die of cancer of the ass.

Fri, 03/22/2013 - 15:55 | 3363503 akarc
akarc's picture

Monday shall be interesting

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