Wearing A Bailout On Your Wrist, Or Why Cyprus Should Speak To The Ukraine

Tyler Durden's picture

As the Cypriots scramble for every penny, hoping for a Hail-Mary from Russia at the last minute, we suspect they are missing one potential provider of all that money. That nation appears to be Russian neighbor, The  Ukraine judging from the 'wealth' exhibited by some members of the Ukrainian parliament. As EnglishRussia.com notes, a $650,000 watch is no problem if you create laws in Ukraine as we humbly suggest some that wealth (the rare watch is special order (here) with only 30 being made) trickle down to the Cypriots (of course at EUR400 per day per person) - they only need 7,000 watches to plug their bailout funding hole!

(h/t Nolsgrad, via EnglishRussia.com)

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ZH11's picture

All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others.

flacon's picture

Shit I was thinking of buying one of those $0.99 casio's since my watch died last year. 

francis_sawyer's picture

Ukranians exist in a distorted "pricing" magnetosphere...


You got $5 skanks charging $2,000 a trick...

SafelyGraze's picture

cyprus is like when you are a kid and your mother and father are yelling and you don't exactly know what it is about but it seems like they are angry at you even though you aren't the one who had lipstick on the collar 

gmrpeabody's picture

I would consider anybody that buys and wears one of those to be a dumb f___ even if it was real..., I doubt that one is.

TwoShortPlanks's picture

You can take a Country out of Communism, but you cannot take Communism out of a Country.

Hang-on, what about American or European politicians, how much bling to they have?

We may very well have to EAT. THEM. ALL.


This has been an Agenda21 announcement: 10 Gallons of water, per person, per day, per-haps!

ihedgemyhedges's picture

If I had a girlfriend that moved like that I swear I would NEVER let her out of the bed!!!  My wife would probably be pissed, but anyway......

StychoKiller's picture

I luv it!  She's so...wiggly! :>D

ebworthen's picture

Finally, a Woman who could handle that four hour erection.

Buck Johnson's picture

Don't worry, the Ukraine is having major finacial problems.  Once they are back in play for a bailout those 5 dollar skanks will be in competition for the high end ladies that go for 7 dollars.

knukles's picture

First thought was of that movie, whatever the name was, where the guy wouldn't give the robber his watch so the robber just chopped his arm off.

Time's a comin' folks....


BTW... Hasn't anybody ever told him never to wear a striped shirt with a striped suit?

Cursive's picture


I think this actually happened in the late 80's (I heard about it at the time) in the Seattle area to a guy wearing a locked Rolex.  I think it was a chainsaw or something.  Maybe just an urban legend.

knukles's picture

No, I think you're right...

Fucking chain saw your watch off
Sounds like something shoulda been in Pulp Fiction

McMolotov's picture

My first thought was that's the kind of watch you'd hide up your ass, like in Pulp Fiction.


FrozenOut's picture

Dump the watches. Google Glass man!

Wile-E-Coyote's picture

650K for a fucking watch they saw that cunt coming, there again he is dumb ass politician.

Karl von Bahnhof's picture

Certainly you dont´ sit in the ukrainian parliament :)

dark pools of soros's picture

I think he sells marriage visas on the side

gaoptimize's picture

Whatever they cost now, cheap at twice the price!  I got the most awesome woman from there for just a few pennies on the dollar, never mind the awesome children she has given me. The equivalent of $2,000 a night consort for a king for the price of a $5 trick.

Lendo's picture

Probably a Chinese fake..

krispkritter's picture

I'll spend the $213, buy a truck, a home in the Redoubt, a small arsenal, and a pile, a BIG pile of PM's with the rest...

hedgeless_horseman's picture



You can get a much better "platinum" fake at the Lo Wu KCR station for under $200.  You cannot tell the difference unless you are a jeweler, and even then maybe not.  The quality of the fake Rolexes is absolutely sublime, and they even sell fake repair parts and bands, fake boxes, and fake certificates of authenticity.

Visit that place one time and it becomes hard to ever buy a "real" luxury watch, purse, or sunglasses again.  How are you going to know?


Rogue Trooper's picture

LOL, I've actually been there the picture was an awesome flashback.... a excellent post 'hedgeless' and the copies are just sensational.  Even the movement is impossible for the layman to tell.  Even buying from a Rolex dealer is risky....

Still, I cannot see the point why anyone would buy a fake watch.

It's a nice place, by the way, and is more than just for shopping.  However, if you do go to shop then better with a local or Hong Kong friend.  When you shop walk somewhere else and let the local buy for you... it will be a third cheaper on the already cheap price, etc. Awesome high quality denim and other items... I think they just come from the same factory that makes the real stuff.  Hardly anyone displays a price it's all negotiable.

All the HK residents go to shop on the weekend for a few hours using the subway and trains. Plus you can smoke, spit and the food and drink is just fantastic. 

Gan bei Bitchez!!

MaxMax's picture

Well, I own some quality watches and some fake ones.  I bought the fakes to see if I would like the watch after a few weeks of wearing.  None of the fakes comes even close to the real thing.  It would be great if the fakes really could fool me, but you can tell if you have worn the real thing once you feel it.  From a distance, it would be hard to tell though.  I keep the fakes lying around in case I ever get burglarized.

Harbanger's picture

You gave me an idea -keepingg fake watches in case you're burglarized and some fake bullion in case it's confiscated.

onewayticket2's picture

a fake?  that's fitting.....the entire situation is a fake....fake economy, fake political philosophy, fake financial statements, fake press conferences....

Agent P's picture

To be fair, it's still a real watch.

ziggy59's picture

Umm, u ever see the Italian Job?
Three things you dont mess with...

Larry Darrell's picture

If going fake, he could have sprung for the Platinum edition to pretend he spent $750,000 or even gone the "Diamond" version...............'Contact Us for Pricing'

ziggy59's picture

If youre asking , you cant afford it

Dave Thomas's picture

Yes that's all very nice and all but does it tell the time in Gstaad?

thisandthat's picture

In Gstaad time tells watches

Rogue Trooper's picture

Anyone know when the 'Tungsten' edition is coming out?

RougeUnderwriter's picture

Takes  licking and keeps on ticking - Cyprus that is

fourchan's picture

watch? thats a gdp.

semperfi's picture

how about just ONE trillion Euro platinum coin ?

Dr. Richard Head's picture

Genghis Khan, how fucking fitting is that?

kralizec's picture

Good target for the rolex girls, or whatever they may call themselves now. . .

Joe Davola's picture

A ho by another other name...

Yen Cross's picture

     I hope his health insurance policy has a  'body part replacement ' inclusion.

SheepDog-One's picture

The thing looks ridiculous to me, but then again what do I know....I don't get $500,000 a day for pushing a button.

Catfish's picture

that is one ugly watch.

SheepDog-One's picture

Yea frankly I wouldn't pay $10 for that ridiculous lookin thing....but then again I'm not a member of the Billionaire Handjob Boys club like this guy is where shit like that carries great weight. 

Biz card scene from 'American Psycho' comes to mind.

Rogue Trooper's picture

LOL... memo to the Tylers.  The default font should be changed to reflect the blogs standing or at a minimum reviewed.


Eggshell with Romalian type. What does everyone think ?
A Rogue Bateman


moonman's picture

Is that the new Iwatch?

SheepDog-One's picture

In other news, everyones all-in for hope that all is well come Monday morning...to hell with guys like this I hope they all die of cancer of the ass.

akarc's picture

Monday shall be interesting