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Eurogroup Meeting On Cyprus Begins In Brussels

Tyler Durden's picture


A few moments ago, no bailout proposal in hand, no parliamentary discussion having taken place, and certainly no votes having been cast, the Eurogroup sat down with Cyprus' president Anastasiades, in order to preserve the "democratic" theatrical facade of European decisionmaking. Here, to keep up appearances that  Cyprus' opinion is even remotely relevant, Europea's unelected leaders will do what they does best - make a closed door decision affecting the lives of millions of people, which ultimately have one purpose: to preserve the crumbling edifice of the Eurozone project (so carefully preserved in the past few months with superglue, scotch tape and empty promises) and of course the jobs and livelihoods of a few unelected EUrocrats.

A preview of this elaborate song and dance ritual is below from Kathimerini. It will be next followed by an even more elaborate song and dance from the Eurozone finance ministers, which will then finally go back to Cyprus, where a decision will likely have to be reached ahead of the Asian FX market open, or all that late Friday "Cyprus is saved" enthusiasm will evaporate in a GETCO millisecond.

From Kathimerini:

A high-level meeting on Cyprus is about to start in Brussels, chaired by European Council President Herman Van Rompuy, with the participation of the Cypriot government and of the European Commission president, Jose Manuel Barroso, Nicosia confirmed on Sunday afternoon.


A spokesman for the Cypriot government said the meeting would examine the possibility of a deal ahead of the Eurogroup meeting of eurozone finance ministers in the evening, Associated Press reported. Van Rompuy’s chairing of the meeting was also confirmed by a European Council spokesman.


Cyprus President Nicos Anastasiades and Finance Minister Michalis Sarris lead a Cypriot delegation that left Larnaca in the morning on a special flight that also went through Athens.


Following that session, Anastasiades will meet with Christine Lagarde, the managing director of the International Monetary Fund, and Mario Draghi, president of the European Central Bank, Nicosia announced.


Throughout the day's negotiations in Brussels the council of Cypriot party leaders will be in constant session at the President's office in Nicosia and in communication with the President.

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Sun, 03/24/2013 - 08:50 | 3367950 Dr.
Dr.'s picture

Good luck!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 08:58 | 3367963 Croesus
Croesus's picture

Ah, who needs Luck when you're Banksters with Politicians in your pocket?


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:00 | 3367978 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



No wonder Banksters with Politicians don't show up till noon on weekdays....it's due to all the work they put in on Sundays.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:54 | 3368165 CharlieSDT
CharlieSDT's picture

 I kept hearing these Euretards saying something like,

The Euro will be ok, they just need to contain the crisis and everything will be fine. French people will continue to be able to work 35 hours weekly and take the summer off for their country house and there will be permanent peace and prosperity in Europe despite the continent’s 2000+ year history of war, genocide, and financial Great Devaluations. But now, we have finally changed human nature and solved all those pesky problems, and of course the world center of that historic accomplishment is of course…

Brussels! The home of the Euretards. Just don’t bother, dudes.


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 11:35 | 3368449 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Just don't forget your Orwellian pocket translator, 3rd edition, as any of these stories become "breaking newspeak."  

Most people fail to properly translate "Troika", which means "daffodils."  Furthermore, "Troika parliamentary discusion" = "picking daffodils" when used as a verb.  


"spokesman" = "cheese"

"Monday" = "we're all dead"

"constant session" = "Never been to Spain"

"endorsement" = "careful, man, there's a beverage here."




Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:43 | 3369050 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture



Two terms often confused, at least in the minds of beggers.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:14 | 3368016 eigenvalue
eigenvalue's picture

Since in Cyprus, the banking industry is the mainstay of the economy with tourism. To some extent, Cypriot bankers are equal to Cypriot people. 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:16 | 3368025 Croesus
Croesus's picture

Bankers will never be equal to people. Or dogs, or even cockroaches for that matter.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:37 | 3368090 sumo
sumo's picture

I'd be prepared to grant them parity with tapeworms. Bankers vs tapeworms is a close call.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:44 | 3368113 Colombian Gringo
Colombian Gringo's picture

I disagree. A tapeworm has a legitimate evolutionary niche whereas banksters are cancers targeting the body politic, a disease that eventually kills the host.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:46 | 3368118 Croesus
Croesus's picture

+1 Sir. You raise a very valid point. Kudos to you! (to both of you).


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 11:12 | 3368385 hyperbole2000
hyperbole2000's picture

I vote for the mites that live in a dung beetles asshole.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 11:57 | 3368510 Jake88
Jake88's picture

They're the crud that lives under pond scum.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:17 | 3368027 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

I hope they don't forget to bring the hot coals to drag president Anastasiades across.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 10:06 | 3368213 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

And many Cypriots are also Russians - born this way

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:21 | 3368044 Salah
Salah's picture

The EU experiment is pretty much done, it's just a matter of how they defuse this bomb.  It's too big to put in the trailerable bomb canister; it has to be disassembled into parts after the detonator gets defused. 

The biggest clues once again are cosmic: they signed their Rome Treaty (3/25/57..6:30 pm) with absolute astrological symmetry...clear as a bell they were guided.  And it took effect (1/1/58 midnight) with nearly the same design ideals aforethought. 

Too bad they created an elegant & delicate Maserati; really needed a Humvee for the off-road experience.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 10:19 | 3368247 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

actually the design is modular - more like a kitchen than a maserati

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 12:31 | 3368616 smacker
smacker's picture

Too bad the pieces of this modular EU don't fit together.

Somebody forgot the glue...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 04:12 | 3371352 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

ah, some things are glued together, other stay together because of external pressure - do Cypriots really want to leave the EU and/or the eurozone? how will they vote next time they choose their parliament members?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 06:59 | 3371423 smacker
smacker's picture



In every EU/EZ member state, whenever 'somebody' stands up and says "we'd be better off leaving the EU/EZ (or not joining)", the propaganda big guns are wheeled out (including MSM and so-called economists, all sucking on the State's teet) to warn the electorate of how this would isolate the country and destroy the economy etc etc. Even the unelected filth in Brussels chimes in and in the recent example of the debate in Britain, even Obama spouted his view that it would not be right for Britain. The old protocol that one country or external organisation doesn't meddle in the affairs of another has long been abandoned.

The consequence of this barrage of propaganda is that the electorates are very poorly informed and mislead into the actual effects of leaving this fascist EU organisation.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:28 | 3369016 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

This isn't going to end well.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 08:50 | 3367951 Dr.
Dr.'s picture

<unintended double-post>

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:16 | 3367981 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



It's OK....a lot uf unintended things will probably happen today.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:30 | 3368059 e-recep
e-recep's picture


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:03 | 3367983 HD
HD's picture

Or is it?

This is clearly the work of an evil mastermind.

What's your angle? Some kind of plan for world domination?



Sun, 03/24/2013 - 08:50 | 3367952 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Is it still a haircut if your brain is showing?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:55 | 3368171 Going Loco
Going Loco's picture

Unlikely that it is a brain which is showing because nobody with a brain would have been keeping money in Cyprus banks since about two years ago.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 10:14 | 3368236 spine001
spine001's picture

In microeconomics they call the phenomenon that made people keep money in Cyprus (PIIGS) asymnetry of information. Driven by the MSM, that belongs mostly to the banksters

Until next time, 


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 10:32 | 3368287 Eally Ucked
Eally Ucked's picture

Really? And where is your money now? Cyprus banks are as good as the rest of them, all over the world.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 12:03 | 3368528 Jake88
Jake88's picture

Yeah sort of like Lucy Liu in Kill Bill.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 08:52 | 3367953 Gmacks
Gmacks's picture

Why am I here on a Sunday.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 08:53 | 3367955 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Only place to get real news, and before it becomes history

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 08:55 | 3367961 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

The same reason we are all here. To celebrate wonderfullness.


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 08:53 | 3367954 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

To President: here is envelope of cash and guarantee of your continued wealth.  Just do this one little thing for us... or else.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:01 | 3367980 FiatFapper
FiatFapper's picture

long brown envelopes

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 08:56 | 3367962 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Euro Drama Brunch
Almost as entertaining as the Honey Boob

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 08:57 | 3367967 Confundido
Confundido's picture

Today I am worse off than yesterday...but it doesn't matter, because I am better off than tomorrow!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:05 | 3367987 HD
HD's picture

That may be the best description of the "new normal" I've ever read.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:39 | 3368098 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Raise your hand if your liver has taken a beating since oh, early November or so.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:53 | 3368160 HD
HD's picture

Since "whatever it takes" for me...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 10:40 | 3368306 Eally Ucked
Eally Ucked's picture

My liver was a piece of bad meat in November (after few years of economic recovery) now is just undiscribable piece of something, can I raise my hand?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 10:43 | 3368310 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Absolutely, Brother!  All are welcome here.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:57 | 3368177 mick_richfield
mick_richfield's picture

Excellent!  Let's write a book!

Time-Reversed Investing: How to Profit in the Coming Collapse.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 11:30 | 3368434 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

I was kind of hoping you would say "how to profit from the collapse of Rome over 2000 years ago...and other past collapses as well" actually.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 08:57 | 3367968 kushmere
kushmere's picture

5th Post of my new blog on Bitcoins.


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:36 | 3368078 RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

Dude, nobody gives a rats ass if you made your fifth post, or your eight-thousandth post about bitcoins.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 10:22 | 3368260 fxrxexexdxoxmx
fxrxexexdxoxmx's picture

Bitcoins are really pissing me off. The posters who hijack threads about bitcoins are the worst. Bitcoins may have a purpose but they are meaningless when the power goes down.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 10:25 | 3368267 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

I don't know. I think his 3,000th would read,

"BTC's now worthless because of governments' required self-reporting. Last post."

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:04 | 3367972 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

"in order to preserve the "democratic" theatrical facade of European decisionmaking. Here, to keep up appearances that  Cyprus' opinion is even remotely relevant, Europea's unelected leaders will do what they does best - make a closed door decision affecting the lives of millions of people, which ultimately have one purpose: to preserve the crumbling edifice of the Eurozone project (so carefully preserved in the past few months with superglue, scotch tape and empty promises) and of course the jobs and livelihoods of a few unelected EUrocrats."

in light of the fact that whatever comes out of this room has to be voted on in the elected Cypriot parliament and probably afterwards also in the Dutch, German, Finn et al parliaments,

I find this "oh, this is all not democratic there - unelected - closed door" facade quite thin

I repeat, it will be trashed on the floors of several parliaments, starting with the Cypriot one - this is democracy

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 09:03 | 3367985 swissaustrian
swissaustrian's picture

Let us (troika) hold some guns to your heads (Cypriots), so you can vote democratically on stealing money from depositors and destroying your economy.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!