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Is This Europe's Biggest Nightmare?

Tyler Durden's picture





 

Just one Spiderman towel left in stock in Europe... how will they ever attract depositors back now...

 

 

(h/t @Azizonomics)

 


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Sun, 03/24/2013 - 13:57 | Link to Comment MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:07 | Link to Comment toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

And they only take pounds to buy it.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:23 | Link to Comment francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I think if they start offering 'Rabbi Reb Saunders' towels, they'll have a bonafide hit on their hands...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:40 | Link to Comment HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Obviously everyone has been reading some Douglas Adams, trying to take "Don't Panic" to heart, and getting all prepped up by having their towel with them.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:15 | Link to Comment Stackers
Stackers's picture

The Troika just needs to head down to Nigeria and hook up with one of these guys that has $50,000,000,000,000 he needs to get out of the country on the down low

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:56 | Link to Comment aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

Larry Motherfucking FINK is long Spiderman towels

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:02 | Link to Comment Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

It's possible Syria just rose to the top of the nightmare list.  There's rumors that Bashar Assad has been assassinated:

http://thespiritoftruth.blogspot.com/2013/03/bashar-al-assad-was-killed-...

 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 17:54 | Link to Comment Likstane
Likstane's picture

@ Mscreant- That was a good example of an opening comment! 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 19:56 | Link to Comment MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Thank you!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 18:21 | Link to Comment Orly
Orly's picture

After Putin puts the screws to the EU over the Cyprus thing, NATO takes out his best puppet in the Middle East.

This should be a board game.

:/

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:27 | Link to Comment Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Spiderman towels and Prancing With the Stars is the new bread and circuses.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 18:05 | Link to Comment Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

1 Spiderman Towel for you Señor

 

Authentic, Hecho en Shenzen

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 13:56 | Link to Comment What you talkin...
What you talkin about Willis's picture

I've got some old Sperman underwear from when I was a kid.  Will that help?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:01 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Angela Merdekill adult diapers, daily pack (contains 12).

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:10 | Link to Comment Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Schnauble G string briefs ?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:15 | Link to Comment What you talkin...
What you talkin about Willis's picture

On there way to japan as we speak.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:02 | Link to Comment Quantum Nucleonics
Quantum Nucleonics's picture

Isn't Merkel the only adult in the room?  Is she wrong to make others pay for their own sh$t?  If your neighbor goes out on a bender and finishes the night by puking on your front lawn, is it too much to ask to have them clean it up?  I guess some people would say you ought to pay your neighbor's bar tab too.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:03 | Link to Comment Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

I reeeeeeeally hope that's a typo.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:18 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

Oh man.....

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:24 | Link to Comment What you talkin...
What you talkin about Willis's picture

Yes Typo. No I was not rasied Catholic.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:41 | Link to Comment Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

You have to be careful with this vigilent crowd. They'd spot a Freudian slip from 1000 miles away.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:37 | Link to Comment stacking12321
stacking12321's picture

that's "vigilant" not "vigilent".

so, tell me about your mother.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 18:14 | Link to Comment El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

She's dead. What do you want to know?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:04 | Link to Comment toady
toady's picture

My boy has two complete sets of Spiderman pajamas. I'm WAY ahead in this game!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 18:17 | Link to Comment El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Hey I've got a old unused Spiderman Kite still in the wrapper! I'm effing RICH!!! WHOPPPIIEEE!!!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 13:57 | Link to Comment SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

i hear they work good for choking bankers too...damn, someone bought it...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 13:57 | Link to Comment TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

The LaGarde toaster?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:01 | Link to Comment zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

A toaster would be the perfect gift to attract depositors, because it

symbolizes that their money will soon be toast.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:03 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Silver does not toast in a toaster.
And interestingly, a silver coin in a operating microwave oven is a sight to behold.
Got Phyzz?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:22 | Link to Comment knukles
knukles's picture

A Saudi prince* once gave me a biz card and it had gold around the edges... Popped and sparked like mad... What'd a show
Wonder if he ever suspected the functional utility to which we ascribed him

* btw, Saudi princes are like 67 427 Vettes. More registered than ever made

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:43 | Link to Comment RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Not numbers matching... cobbled together from odd parts and pieces.  Just like the so-called Princes.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 18:09 | Link to Comment Matt
Matt's picture

Aren't there something like 40,000 Saudi princes? Could explain why all the oil revenues have evaporated.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:09 | Link to Comment cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

You can cobble together the right casting dates and restamp the VIN on the block to get a very convincing - and hard to prove NOT original.  There's a reason GM doesn't want to come oput with a listing of original production Vettes.  Lots of otherwise convincing 'originals' would end up worht a lot less.....   pretty funny though how you can basically build a car from scratch and it's worih $50,000 or $500,000 depending on if it's 'original'.      There's actually a Shelby GT350 that exists in THREE versions.  It was wrecked within the first year of it's existence andlater rebuilt - as three individual cars - by the persons who obtained the wrecked body shell, the original engine block and the original paper title.   NONE of them are really 'original' yet all claim to be.

 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:07 | Link to Comment El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

"A toaster would be the perfect gift to attract depositors, because it

symbolizes that their money will soon be BURNT."

 

Fixed

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:43 | Link to Comment Smiley
Smiley's picture

I think a dildo would be more appropriate as soon they will all be fucked.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 13:59 | Link to Comment JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

The problem no longer is attracting depositors - it is not losing all your depositors.  Just ask Cyprus.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:53 | Link to Comment Going Loco
Going Loco's picture

Last time I looked the Cypriot bank depositors were all still there... none had left except the lucky few who had managed to exhaust their meagre savings by ATM withdrawels

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:58 | Link to Comment JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Perhaps, you may want to check one day after the banks open.  If they open at all.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:58 | Link to Comment bingo was his name
bingo was his name's picture

If cyprus account holders could get spiderman towels instead of stock at these they could have something of value.

 

Do worry your money is safe wtih us and is backed by spiderman towels

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 13:59 | Link to Comment inevitablecollapse
inevitablecollapse's picture

better quality than the 'spaderman' paraphenalia available south of the u.s. border

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:00 | Link to Comment unknownknowns
Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:15 | Link to Comment ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Yes.

Or one of these for those in the U.S.: 

http://www.zazzle.com/europocalypse_coffee_mugs-168443900643732943

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:03 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

thats frugality for you! 

17 slobs who all towel off with ONE towel!

They'll need it as the final round of make or break begins at 8 pm sharp EST.

We have a dream or we have a scream; putin eats ice cream either way. 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:03 | Link to Comment TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Another marxist triumph!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:03 | Link to Comment gimli
gimli's picture

No problem, if they just turn the water off next no one will need towels.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:04 | Link to Comment One of We
One of We's picture

Breaking.....do to inflationary pressures the depositor incentive is now a Spiderman washcloth......
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0049P7NLQ

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:03 | Link to Comment Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

Rehypothecate it.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:36 | Link to Comment uranian
uranian's picture

Got to be worth at least 90 trillion.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:05 | Link to Comment IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/marvel-bath-towels-spiderman-sense-16...

Macy's still has them. Just costs a 9.9% levy tax from your bank account.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:17 | Link to Comment Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Good joke - click on this link = Out of Stock

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:08 | Link to Comment Edward Fiatski
Edward Fiatski's picture

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

Amazon.co.uk, eh? British banks are now well-prepared for depositor haircuts & subsequent bank runs!! :)

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:09 | Link to Comment gimli
gimli's picture

One Towel to rule them all, One Towel to find them,
One Towel to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:48 | Link to Comment Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

that is one hoopy frood.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:10 | Link to Comment ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

It¨s simple, Tyler - every new customer gets a Spiderman Towel ETF®

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:12 | Link to Comment cristo
cristo's picture

Take a picture of the last Spiderman towel and print as many as you need . Problem solved . Who need a real towel ?

A real towel can be lost , damaged or stolen . The picture will last forever .

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:22 | Link to Comment Frastric
Frastric's picture

Lest it be bent a few hundred times or be used as toilet paper...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:16 | Link to Comment Pimp Juice
Pimp Juice's picture

OK, this isn't funny anymore. I can deal with a haircut on my savings but I will not fucking tolerate my Spider-Man towels being unavailable. Lucky for me I am a prepper........

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:17 | Link to Comment centerline
centerline's picture

Only 1 left?  That's enough for 2 Cyprus accounts.  Each new depositor gets half a towel.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:17 | Link to Comment Rattling Bones
Rattling Bones's picture

Handy to cry into after they steal your deposit.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:17 | Link to Comment Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

I heard a big batch of Merkel towels is on the way to Cyprus.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:23 | Link to Comment Yellowhoard
Yellowhoard's picture

Always remember to bring a towel!

-Towelie

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:22 | Link to Comment ISEEIT
ISEEIT's picture

This is not a good sign..

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:26 | Link to Comment williambanzai7
Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:43 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

the barber of seville! Figaro! 

On special demand lent to Cyprus! 

Will return to Seville incessantly.

In fact the person turning the screws most is lady Lagarde of IMF. She is relentless and that Cypriot President sweats blood :

REPORTS: The President Of Cyprus Threatened To Resign - Business Insider

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:16 | Link to Comment palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

Rabbit of Seville

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60Htv1t6sUU

How doooo!

Welcome to my shop
Let me cut your mop
Let me shave your crop!
Daintily! Daint-til-ly!

Hey yoooou!
Don't look so perplexed
Why must you be next
Can't you see you're next?
Yes, you're next!
Yoou're so next!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:41 | Link to Comment JR
JR's picture

UPDATE: shortly after the news was spread, it was …dismissed or better say “corrected”. After a phone conversation between Anastasiades and Cypriot Parliament Speaker Omirou, Cypriot media reported “Anastasiades did not threaten Christine Lagarde with his resignation, but he asked if her insistence and the insistence of European partners aim to force him to resign.” (sigmalive via RealNews)

http://www.keeptalkinggreece.com/2013/03/24/cyprus-president-anastasiades-threatens-to-resign-and-let-people-decide/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+KeepTalkingGreece+%28Keep+Talking+Greece%29

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:45 | Link to Comment U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

Sweeny Todd

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:26 | Link to Comment philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

CNBC to report tomorrow a.m. that only one Spidey towel left is a "leading indicator" that Cyprus depositor confidence is back as savers rush to deposit their funds in Cyprus and other Eurozone banks. 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:35 | Link to Comment Pandorable
Pandorable's picture

How about printing out some tee shirts that say "Nannycrats-R-Us" ---? Surely there is a market for those.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:47 | Link to Comment slackrabbit
slackrabbit's picture

NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!

Thats it, I'm pulling my money.

Hey WTF do you mean 'Closed until further notice?'

 

(At least I can use my Wolverine credit card.)

Hey WTF do you mean 'Unavailable until further notice?'

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:44 | Link to Comment Going Loco
Going Loco's picture

This is a bad sign that they no longer intend to "attract" depositors with towels; in future they will just order people to deposit their fungible assets in the safe hands of banksters. 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:45 | Link to Comment Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Disney is doing a special on Finding Nemo beach towels (true)

Spend $15, get a Finding Nemo towel for $14.

Heavy duty, large size, put it on the deck chair before Frau Merkel gets up, you can't miss it due to bright colors. If Frau Merkel says the deck chair is hers, then kick her in the ass :)

 

 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:59 | Link to Comment bonzo112358
Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:00 | Link to Comment Satan
Satan's picture

Why on earth would anybody have to bend over to get a haircut ?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:04 | Link to Comment The Abstraction...
The Abstraction of Justice's picture

If they go to a police chief's barber?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:04 | Link to Comment Hobbleknee
Hobbleknee's picture

I lost all my Spider-Man towels in a boating accident.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:32 | Link to Comment Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

Word is that President of Cyprus is threatening to resign.  http://www.businessinsider.com/reports-the-president-of-cyprus-threatene...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:30 | Link to Comment q99x2
q99x2's picture

Spiderman towel make Mongo good molotov wick.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:48 | Link to Comment are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Every Russian oligarch needs a Spider-Man towel. It's all the rage.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:49 | Link to Comment q99x2
q99x2's picture

And over in Israel it's party time.

 Israel said it fired into Syria on Sunday and destroyed a machinegun position in the Golan Heights

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:49 | Link to Comment Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

As Porky pig would say: " Ah, Fufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufufu....ck....

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:52 | Link to Comment walcott
walcott's picture

thats awesome!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:05 | Link to Comment HondaFullOfSilver
HondaFullOfSilver's picture

I am just here for the free haircuit.. :-)

 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:25 | Link to Comment arnoldsimage
arnoldsimage's picture
http://www.hundredbling.net/images/lgrey024.jpg); background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-attachment: fixed; color: #000000; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">

http://www.hundredbling.net/images/lgrey024.jpg); background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: initial; background-attachment: fixed; color: #000000; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial;">ho hum

 

 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 18:18 | Link to Comment Iam Yue2
Iam Yue2's picture

Ah....they have thrown in the towel

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 18:55 | Link to Comment RS2OOO
RS2OOO's picture

Come on, own up, which author is it at ZH with the Spiderman fetish???.....

http://www.zerohedge.com/search/apachesolr_search/spiderman

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 00:01 | Link to Comment StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

I've a mind to get one just to remind folks of the insanity we (hopefully) lived through...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:44 | Link to Comment Stud Duck
Stud Duck's picture

Which multi national owns the water supply to the citizens of Cypris?? I suspect the Germans, as they own many in the USA!

 

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