• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

Is This Europe's Biggest Nightmare?

Tyler Durden's picture


Just one Spiderman towel left in stock in Europe... how will they ever attract depositors back now...



(h/t @Azizonomics)

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Sun, 03/24/2013 - 13:57 | 3368893 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:07 | 3368945 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

And they only take pounds to buy it.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:23 | 3368999 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

I think if they start offering 'Rabbi Reb Saunders' towels, they'll have a bonafide hit on their hands...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:40 | 3369040 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Obviously everyone has been reading some Douglas Adams, trying to take "Don't Panic" to heart, and getting all prepped up by having their towel with them.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:15 | 3369110 Stackers
Stackers's picture

The Troika just needs to head down to Nigeria and hook up with one of these guys that has $50,000,000,000,000 he needs to get out of the country on the down low

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:56 | 3369273 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

Larry Motherfucking FINK is long Spiderman towels

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:02 | 3369281 Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

It's possible Syria just rose to the top of the nightmare list.  There's rumors that Bashar Assad has been assassinated:



Sun, 03/24/2013 - 17:54 | 3369709 Likstane
Likstane's picture

@ Mscreant- That was a good example of an opening comment! 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 19:56 | 3370117 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

Thank you!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 18:21 | 3369789 Orly
Orly's picture

After Putin puts the screws to the EU over the Cyprus thing, NATO takes out his best puppet in the Middle East.

This should be a board game.


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:27 | 3369008 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Spiderman towels and Prancing With the Stars is the new bread and circuses.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 18:05 | 3369744 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

1 Spiderman Towel for you Señor


Authentic, Hecho en Shenzen

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 13:56 | 3368894 What you talkin...
What you talkin about Willis's picture

I've got some old Sperman underwear from when I was a kid.  Will that help?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:01 | 3368921 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Angela Merdekill adult diapers, daily pack (contains 12).

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:10 | 3368960 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Schnauble G string briefs ?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:15 | 3368970 What you talkin...
What you talkin about Willis's picture

On there way to japan as we speak.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:02 | 3369282 Quantum Nucleonics
Quantum Nucleonics's picture

Isn't Merkel the only adult in the room?  Is she wrong to make others pay for their own sh$t?  If your neighbor goes out on a bender and finishes the night by puking on your front lawn, is it too much to ask to have them clean it up?  I guess some people would say you ought to pay your neighbor's bar tab too.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:03 | 3368925 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

I reeeeeeeally hope that's a typo.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:18 | 3368983 knukles
knukles's picture

Oh man.....

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:24 | 3369002 What you talkin...
What you talkin about Willis's picture

Yes Typo. No I was not rasied Catholic.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:41 | 3369046 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

You have to be careful with this vigilent crowd. They'd spot a Freudian slip from 1000 miles away.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:37 | 3369385 stacking12321
stacking12321's picture

that's "vigilant" not "vigilent".

so, tell me about your mother.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 18:14 | 3369772 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

She's dead. What do you want to know?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:04 | 3368935 toady
toady's picture

My boy has two complete sets of Spiderman pajamas. I'm WAY ahead in this game!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 18:17 | 3369778 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Hey I've got a old unused Spiderman Kite still in the wrapper! I'm effing RICH!!! WHOPPPIIEEE!!!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 13:57 | 3368896 SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

i hear they work good for choking bankers too...damn, someone bought it...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 13:57 | 3368904 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

The LaGarde toaster?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:01 | 3368919 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

A toaster would be the perfect gift to attract depositors, because it

symbolizes that their money will soon be toast.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:03 | 3368926 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Silver does not toast in a toaster.
And interestingly, a silver coin in a operating microwave oven is a sight to behold.
Got Phyzz?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:22 | 3368991 knukles
knukles's picture

A Saudi prince* once gave me a biz card and it had gold around the edges... Popped and sparked like mad... What'd a show
Wonder if he ever suspected the functional utility to which we ascribed him

* btw, Saudi princes are like 67 427 Vettes. More registered than ever made

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:43 | 3369224 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Not numbers matching... cobbled together from odd parts and pieces.  Just like the so-called Princes.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 18:09 | 3369759 Matt
Matt's picture

Aren't there something like 40,000 Saudi princes? Could explain why all the oil revenues have evaporated.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:09 | 3370747 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

You can cobble together the right casting dates and restamp the VIN on the block to get a very convincing - and hard to prove NOT original.  There's a reason GM doesn't want to come oput with a listing of original production Vettes.  Lots of otherwise convincing 'originals' would end up worht a lot less.....   pretty funny though how you can basically build a car from scratch and it's worih $50,000 or $500,000 depending on if it's 'original'.      There's actually a Shelby GT350 that exists in THREE versions.  It was wrecked within the first year of it's existence andlater rebuilt - as three individual cars - by the persons who obtained the wrecked body shell, the original engine block and the original paper title.   NONE of them are really 'original' yet all claim to be.


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:07 | 3368944 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

"A toaster would be the perfect gift to attract depositors, because it

symbolizes that their money will soon be BURNT."



Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:43 | 3369394 Smiley
Smiley's picture

I think a dildo would be more appropriate as soon they will all be fucked.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 13:59 | 3368908 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

The problem no longer is attracting depositors - it is not losing all your depositors.  Just ask Cyprus.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:53 | 3369070 Going Loco
Going Loco's picture

Last time I looked the Cypriot bank depositors were all still there... none had left except the lucky few who had managed to exhaust their meagre savings by ATM withdrawels

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:58 | 3369082 JustObserving
JustObserving's picture

Perhaps, you may want to check one day after the banks open.  If they open at all.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:58 | 3369471 bingo was his name
bingo was his name's picture

If cyprus account holders could get spiderman towels instead of stock at these they could have something of value.


Do worry your money is safe wtih us and is backed by spiderman towels

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 13:59 | 3368911 inevitablecollapse
inevitablecollapse's picture

better quality than the 'spaderman' paraphenalia available south of the u.s. border

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:00 | 3368913 unknownknowns
Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:15 | 3369107 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture


Or one of these for those in the U.S.: 


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:03 | 3368914 falak pema
falak pema's picture

thats frugality for you! 

17 slobs who all towel off with ONE towel!

They'll need it as the final round of make or break begins at 8 pm sharp EST.

We have a dream or we have a scream; putin eats ice cream either way. 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:03 | 3368928 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Another marxist triumph!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:03 | 3368927 gimli
gimli's picture

No problem, if they just turn the water off next no one will need towels.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:04 | 3368931 One of We
One of We's picture

Breaking.....do to inflationary pressures the depositor incentive is now a Spiderman washcloth......

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:03 | 3368932 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

Rehypothecate it.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 16:36 | 3369381 uranian
uranian's picture

Got to be worth at least 90 trillion.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 14:05 | 3368936 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture


Macy's still has them. Just costs a 9.9% levy tax from your bank account.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 15:17 | 3369114 Nobody For President
Nobody For President's picture

Good joke - click on this link = Out of Stock

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!