This page has been archived and commenting is disabled.

Rampapalooza As Cyprus-Troika Reach Deal (Updates)

Tyler Durden's picture


UPDATE: It appears the 'deal' to default/restructure the banks has been designed to bypass the need for parliamentary votes, since it is theoretically not a tax.

While we have little color on what kind of carnage the President of Cyprus had to accept to his fellow countrymen, the news is that :


The terms, unsurprisingly what zee Germans wanted, are:

i) Laiki to be wound down;

ii) Bank of Cyprus to survive but with deposit haircuts of up to 40% for the uninsureds, and

iii) deal would see secured deposits in Laiki moved to Bank of Cyprus.

In other words, a deal far worse then the original on proposed by the Eurogroup last week - when the banks still existed. The key appears to be the 'saving' of the insured depositors (crucial to avoid a pan-European bank run) and the crushing of the 'whale' depositors.

A more granular breakdown of the deal's "accomplishments", but with the same result for large depositors, via Reuters:

  1. Laiki will be resolved immediately - with full contribution of equity shareholders, bond holders and uninsured depositors - based on a decision by the Central Bank of Cyprus, using the newly adopted Bank Resolution Framework.
  2. Laiki will be split into a good bank and a bad bank. The bad bank will be run down over time.
  3. The good bank will be folded into Bank of Cyprus (BoC), using the Bank Resolution Framework, after having heard the Boards of Directors of BoC and Laiki. It will take 9 billion Euros of ELA with it. Only uninsured deposits in BoC will remain frozen until recapitalization has been effected, and may subsequently be subject to appropriate conditions.
  4. The Governing Council of the ECB will provide liquidity to the BoC in line with applicable rules.
  5. BoC will be recapitalized through a deposit/equity conversion of uninsured deposits with full contribution of equity shareholders and bond holders.
  6. The conversion will be such that a capital ratio of 9 % is secured by the end of the program.
  7. All insured depositors in all banks will be fully protected in accordance with the relevant EU legislation.
  8. The program money (up to 10 billion Euros) will not be used to recapitalize Laiki and Bank of Cyprus.

As Bloomberg further clarifies, uninsured depositors, or those with over EUR100,000 in savings may be completely wiped out: "Deposits below the EU deposit-guarantee ceiling of 100,000 euros will be protected, and a loss of no more than 40 percent will be imposed on uninsured depositors at the Bank of Cyprus, two EU officials said. Uninsured depositors at Cyprus Popular would largely be wiped out, two other officials said."

Farewell Russian oligrach money. We hardly knew ye.

S&P 500 futures and EUR are surging, Gold is dropping modestly.

 We await final confirmation of the final terms of the final deal once the Cypriot people wake up (and don't forget the ECB 'standard of living' rules).  

The Cypriot Parliament still has to vote for this - and not one of them voted for it last week.



Filling the 'Cyprus' Gap



Treasuries sold off- 10Y back to 1.945% (+2bps) and 30Y 3.17% (+3bps)


This is far from over...

So let us get this straight, we have no further information on the actual terms of the deal than we did on Friday afternoon; the government (who rejected the deal last week) has no details of the deal yet; and the actual impairment for the depositors is far worse than last week's rejected deal; and the market is rallying... 

It would appear the week was spent sorting through the names of bank accounts in each bank and the one with the most ending in '-ov' is to be wound down...Laiki


Step 1 appears to be 0500GMT Eurogroup Meeting (as per Holland's Diesel-Boom) agreement...


UPDATE: There is talk that there may be no need for the government to vote for this - since it is not a 'tax' but a bank restructuring. It seems they have kept it in the bankers... the ECB (in its independent way) tells the Cypriot NCB what it should do, the Cypriot central bank then restructures its bank how it sees fit - good/bad bank and haircuts where it sees fit - this then gets around need for vote from government AND any possibility of a European Union law (on taxation) being broken...


- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Sun, 03/24/2013 - 19:50 | 3370075 JeremyWS
JeremyWS's picture

Europe's fixed.... Oh wait.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 19:52 | 3370086 greased up deaf guy
greased up deaf guy's picture

whew! that was a close one. back to american idol...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 19:53 | 3370097 flacon
flacon's picture

These chains of paper...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 19:56 | 3370114 THX 1178
THX 1178's picture

Europe is fixed... in principle.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:01 | 3370147 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

I'm not changing the channel yet. This is not over.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:02 | 3370155 redpill
redpill's picture

The local politicians will be squeezed until they pop.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:07 | 3370184 cifo
cifo's picture

Are we still expecting a bank run on Tue, when the banks re-open?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:09 | 3370193 cifo
cifo's picture

Deal made over dinner. Barroso drinking Barolo.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:15 | 3370226 notbot
notbot's picture

Oh good. I WAS going to take all my money out of my Cyprus account, but now I know it's safe. Whew.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:27 | 3370237 Supernova Born
Supernova Born's picture

So how much money will be left in banks after depositors at 100K+ euro disappear from European banks?

If they think this will only impact depositor behavior in Cyprus they are in for a surprise.

Pop goes the Wiesel.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:29 | 3370269 macholatte
macholatte's picture

...the one with the most ending in '-ov' is.......



Nope. That was so 1940's.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:13 | 3370469 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

Battle for Middle Earth, Round 1, to Mordor

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:13 | 3370754 YBNguy
YBNguy's picture

Tyler, have those cypRIOT cams ready for the a.m., Im looking forward to some non-fictional mayhem.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 23:01 | 3370912 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

One of the pillars which must be removed, in order for the 'Great Game' to proceed, is the removal of Fiduciary (trust) from within the financial system. This is what Cyprus is really all about.

Before Gold may again be the medium of wealth storage, the current Fiat System must be erroded from a cancer within, so that no external blame may be assigned.

This has been another announcement from the team at Agenda21: It's good to be the King!


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 23:23 | 3371000 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

I guess theft is no longer theft...isn't that what they are telling us?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 23:57 | 3371080 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

If anyone thinks the non-resolution of the Cypress bankruptcy, involving the seizure of accounts with more than 100,000 in them, is the end of the story, stay tuned.

The bank runs in the core of the EU, and especially Spain and Italy (the firewall) will now commence, having been made a certainty by the handling of Cyprus by the incompetent incompetent EU bureaucrats, with heads firmly implanted up their asses.

Look for an follow up announcement this week of a major increase in € denominated accounts going forward, this week, by said incompetent EU bureaucrats.


Mon, 03/25/2013 - 00:49 | 3371183 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

What this has morphed into - if it did not indeed set out to be this in the first place - is a much more striking phase of this currency war.  There will be an opposite, if not greater-than-equal reaction to this.  Russia and China are going hardline.  They will develop a rivaling scheme.  The question I have is, what do the major manufacturer and a major oil producer have to gain by developing some fucking competition to a tired, overbought paradigm?  That is the golden question.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 01:23 | 3371204 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I meant to write this above as my last paragraph:


Look for a follow up announcement this week of a major increase in DEPOSIT INSURANCE (well above 100,000) in € denominated accounts going forward by said incompetent EU bureaucrats - because now they will have to aggressively react to what was a very predictable response by any rational person or entity having more than aforementioned amount on deposit in any EU bank.

Also, look for tremendous pressure on € denominated money market accounts.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 00:13 | 3371121 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

It's not theft, it's rehypothication--or at least that's what Corzine told me.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 23:57 | 3371052 anonnn
anonnn's picture

The Deemer-In-Chief has made his pronunciamento. Adjust your viewpoint accordingly.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 23:46 | 3371060 Lore
Lore's picture




Are Cypriot MPs a moral bunch?  Do they have guts and courage?  


Mon, 03/25/2013 - 01:00 | 3371201 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture



Strike one: Violating Godwin's Law.

Strike two: Recommending lawsuits as salvation.


Lawsuits??  That's the problem.  Take your bit of cheese and maybe you won't get your neck snapped.  No.  No more lawsuits.  Outright fraud and treason has been, if we are lucky, barely addressed by tort law.  They do not give a shit about what payout they give you.  They own the bank, so stop thinking like a fucking lemming.  Criminal court for this shit.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 01:08 | 3371221 Lore
Lore's picture

Come off your high horse. You refer to criminal court for the same reason I mention Hitler.  These people are evil.  The time to stand up is NOW, before it escalates.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 01:31 | 3371246 sunaJ
sunaJ's picture

Okay, +1 for mentioning Hitler's appeasement strategy, since Godwin's Law does not really apply when facing true corporate fascism.  I cannot, however, do anything about the lawsuits.  They are the crumbs to the mutts, flung from the table of those that think they are elite.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 01:56 | 3371275 Lore
Lore's picture

You're right.  I'm not under the illusion that any tier of psychopaths gives a hoot about human cost. I just see their behavior as still somewhat and temporarily constrained by "the social fabric," to use Kyle Bass' term.  There's still time for wiser hands to intervene and pre-empt. 

Oh, to be a fly on the wall at some of the meetings around the world!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 05:18 | 3371381 new game
new game's picture

every 'body' in volved has not got what they deserve yet...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:27 | 3370529 mjcOH1
mjcOH1's picture

"Are we still expecting a bank run on Tue, when the banks re-open?"

I see you're an optimist.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:16 | 3370739 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

A run on the banks vs a bank on the run.   I guess they somehow are linked.  

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 23:13 | 3370921 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

A run on the Banks is exactly what's been happening while the doors have been the public!

Thank You!

This has been another announcement from the team at Agenda21: Ben Dover is not an employee, it's a Mission Statement!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 00:45 | 3371189 Perpetual Burn
Perpetual Burn's picture

Jokes on you if you still think Russians have not transferred their money out yet.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 00:52 | 3371198 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Nuclearov! BITCHEZ!!!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:29 | 3370270 Manthong
Manthong's picture

It’s just a good thing that there is no volatility in US equities anymore,

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:33 | 3370292 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

30 minutes to spare before the new episode of The Walking Dead.  That was close.  Glad it's all fixed. 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:54 | 3370895 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

I've never watched that show. Is it about European banks?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 01:45 | 3371266 U4 eee aaa
U4 eee aaa's picture

No, their customers

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 23:10 | 3370939 Cathartes Aura
Cathartes Aura's picture

gotta love the use of the word "fixed" - as in the dog's bollocks?

aka, neuter'd.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:38 | 3370297 EscapingProgress
EscapingProgress's picture

There will be no real solution. Just like there is no real solution for any of the PIIGS to this day. These Troika douche bags will still be talking about "solutions" for Cyprus right up until the next flaming zombie domino falls and everybody forgets about little Cyprus.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:38 | 3370314 grunk
grunk's picture

They'll be no impairment of any accounts ending in -utin."

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:46 | 3370343 defencev
defencev's picture

They'll be no impairment of any accounts ending in -utin."

This is pretty good! LOL

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:18 | 3370749 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

I'm waiting for the day when a tax isn't a real tax, a bankruptcy isn't a real bankruptcy, and an ass-rape isn't a real rape.  Oh, wait.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:59 | 3370913 howenlink
howenlink's picture

You meant an ass-rape isn't a real ass-rape.  An ass-rape could be a bank statement or an ATM machine.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:56 | 3370388 franzpick
franzpick's picture

Yes, this whole episode has revealed the solution: Gandhi-like non-participation, vote against corruption with WITHDRAWAL swipes of your ATM/bank cards, all the way to $1.00. 

Depositors of the World Disperse (the "DWOBBLIES"?),  the ZeroHedge ZeroBalance faction. or maybe the ZeroHeroes...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:32 | 3370553 EscapingProgress
EscapingProgress's picture

When will the people start robbing the banks?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:23 | 3370779 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

This is amazing.   Deposit Insurance was never needed because The Whales' deposits are the deposit insurance.   Wow, I bet they won't get over this irony especially if they've contributed to the Deposit Insurance fund.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 05:29 | 3371388 new game
new game's picture

so - all that said carry on - no defalt, cyprus will bow to the ptb were right- clap, clap, clap.

what has been learned; this mutha fuckin experiment is not going to fail even if we blow the lab off the face of the earth.

sociopath narciss. do not see the world as we do. their power of credit is the new bullets of control.

they are getting ever more desperate to avoid defaults-seizing private property, a bedrock of self determination and liberty.

IMO the first shot that made a splat has been fired. if this doesn't get violent soon, well, a whole lotta people are in for a long period of time being controlled in ways they never dreamed of./..

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:49 | 3370364 akarc
akarc's picture

How will this fix Cyprus? When/"IF" them banks open who in Gods name will leave any money in them. Damn they been trying to max out the ATMS

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:59 | 3370405 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

You ask too many questions.  Just go watch TV.  It's all fixed.  That's all you need to know.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 05:43 | 3371391 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

That is EXACTLY what is being said on the mainstream news this very early morning. So many lies were being told I was floored. I can't sleep.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:22 | 3370514 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

They now have maximum withdrawals limits.  

So if you go to the bank everyday to withdraw money, then they are going to try to talk you into keeping money on deposit.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:41 | 3370844 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

Raping a whale doesn't come without ramifications.  Usually they flip out and kill things.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 23:56 | 3371089 DaddyO
DaddyO's picture

Like the recent expiration of a russian whale?


Mon, 03/25/2013 - 01:21 | 3371240 Dugald
Dugald's picture

Is nobody looking at this in its true perspective......

outright bloody theft....that money one would hope was placed in a safe place can just be vanished at the whim of a bunch of crooks, can those losing their money not appeal to The international Court of one would hope Justice.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:51 | 3370882 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

LOL...enough sarcasm on this thread to cover a stadium

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:10 | 3370203 redpill
redpill's picture

The capital controls will remain in place, regardless. But yes people will continue to try to get their money. Wouldn't you?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:19 | 3370234 akak
akak's picture

"My good friends, for the second time in our history, a Cypriot Prime Minister has returned from Germany, er, the ECB, bringing banking resolution with honour. I believe it is peace for our time.

It is my hope and my belief, that under the new system of guarantees, the new Cypriot banking system will find a greater security than she has ever enjoyed in the past. . . ."

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:24 | 3370254 nmewn
nmewn's picture

He's waving a piece of paper over his head guaranteeing another piece of paper!

This has to mean something!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:58 | 3370403 TumblingDice
TumblingDice's picture

Just like our Constitution, as long as it's in writing, we're all set. Nobody breaks an agreement if it's in writing.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:21 | 3370488 nmewn
nmewn's picture


Contracts without force/enforcement have little meaning. Isn't it odd where the loudest howls come from those trying to strip that enforcement mechanism away ;-)

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 00:29 | 3371143 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

The oddest part of all this is that what is happening will become "the new normal" -- a creeping of intent and outcome.  Just like the U.S. experiencing the dismantling of the Constitution all these many years.  It's sad.

Contracts, rights, and law have become mere playthings of the political and corporate classes.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 01:08 | 3371226 Angus McHugepenis
Angus McHugepenis's picture

Contracts... any of you on this thread actually signed the CONTRACT written about 250 years ago? Why do you think that ancient CONRTACT is being trashed before your eyes TODAY? It doesn't apply to you. And all the internet warriors on this site will never do anything to defend it. It's now a historical document, not a birthright. Your Constiturion died when the last person living during that time died. The CONTRACT for that era died.

Prove how the Constitiution affects you today simply because there is a record of a CONTRACT between the people of that time and the present? Should Ford assembly workers still be obligated to work under the rules of Henry Ford's era? The Constitution of the USA at this point in time is nothing but a piece of paper for PUSSIES to fall back on in the false hope a few 250 year old words will save them from the perils of 2013.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:11 | 3370454 spanish inquisition
spanish inquisition's picture

It's an homage to Chamberlin's greatest triumph. Peace in our time, although it probably won't last as long.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:52 | 3370676 jeff montanye
jeff montanye's picture

eleven months: september 30, 1938 to september 1, 1939.

imo you're right.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:49 | 3370646 PrintemDano
PrintemDano's picture

He's waving a piece of paper over his head guaranteeing another piece of paper!

This has to mean something!

lmao  +1000

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:51 | 3370663 nmewn
nmewn's picture

lol...but its got words and stuff on it!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:54 | 3370382 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

It's a fucking joke...  *tired*

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:42 | 3370337 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

In what world can the Troika totally turn bankruptcy laws on their head without a vote from parliament.

UPDATE: There is talk that there may be no need for the government to vote for this - since it is not a 'tax' but a bank restructuring.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:03 | 3370417 Piranhanoia
Piranhanoia's picture

Tax is such and ugly word.  It implies that the money will be used for something that helps the people.  This is more like an inside job to a daylight robbery.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 03:29 | 3371333 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Here is what this gigantic shitshow all boils down to: GOLD MUST NOT RISE!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 06:03 | 3371402 Librarian
Librarian's picture

'tis a mere currency fucuation, according to the troika

"sucks to be u" as the song goes.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:28 | 3370533 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

agreed. "they've already done the deed." deposits in a bank ANYWHERE in the eurozone are not safe. (and that includes Switzerland in my view.) "the first to secede wins." it would appear the Netherlands is the first to fire a shot over the bow (closing the gold window) up France.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 23:13 | 3370960 Matt
Matt's picture

Capital controls really put a damper on things. At 100 euros per day, it would take 3 years of daily bank visits to take out 100,000 Euros. Way to add insult to injury if someone had 500,000 euros in Laiki, 400,000 gets corzined, and you spend 3 years of your life to recover the remaining 100,000.

Or at the "good bank", your 500,000 euros would now be 100,000 + (400,000 * 0.6) = 340,000, which would take 10 years of daily withdrawls to extract.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:10 | 3370206 pods
pods's picture

I would say IF the banks open, there will be a good old fasioned run.

The ATMs are functioning like a good old bloodletting.

Humpty Dumpty is not going back together.


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:35 | 3370303 fockewulf190
fockewulf190's picture

Propaganda machine will be in overdrive today.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:43 | 3370338 pods
pods's picture

The update speaks about how their European overlords are not going to require a vote?

That place is gonna burn.  

Butcher Bird was one hell of a plane, btw.


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:53 | 3370889 BeetleBailey
BeetleBailey's picture

"All is well children....come into the light"


"Drink the Kool-Aid brothers and sisters....."


Good God...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:13 | 3370466 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Airlifting crates of KY to Cyprus 24/7.


<<...and the actual impairment for the depositors is far worse than last week's rejected deal; and the market is rallying... >>

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:03 | 3370717 Manthong
Manthong's picture

I submit that airlifting the lube won’t get’er done.

My suggestion for transport:

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:11 | 3370207 Stackers
Stackers's picture

And God Damn It, we dont have Intrade anymore to give us odds on the Cyprus Paraliament actually voting this 2nd deal through.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:01 | 3370300 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

I'll bet you $20 fiat bucks they do.

Update:  That didn't take long.  Moot point with the latest update.  Apparently it's all done.  We'll call that a "push" and you can keep the $20. 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 23:10 | 3370938 xtop23
xtop23's picture

Anyone stupid enough to leave their money in those banks deserves to get their head lopped off now. They've seen the man behind the curtain. If they choose to go back to sleep, I have ZERO sympathy for them now.

On a side note, we now know why Berezovsky commited suicide perhaps?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 00:07 | 3371111 walküre
walküre's picture

IF it was suicide then the motive was probably the perspective of being bankrupt. Could very well be that B. saw the writing on the wall and decided to take his own life before the KGB squad came knocking. Protection costs an awful amount of money and without money = protection Berezovsky was a dead man walking. Good theory.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 00:59 | 3371213 NumNutt
NumNutt's picture

RE-open? What a joke. Can you imagine the people exited to see their bank open on Tuesday just to figure out they have been given a 40% haircut, or worse, wiped out.  Bank runs are going to be the least of the governemts worries. They better spend Monday rounding up all the riot gear and filling the water canons...........going to be a long day.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:48 | 3370185 notbot
notbot's picture

Easiest bluff to call I've ever seen. Of course the troika was going to blink. But damage is done.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:46 | 3370344 yogibear
yogibear's picture


The local politicians will be squeezed until they chopped by the rioting mobs.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:00 | 3370410 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

Why aren't the people demanding and dictating the terms? Enough already, it's their perceived wealth.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:20 | 3370240 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

thanks for the link DoChen..............Did Nigel say where the Brit expats should put their money they pulled from Spanish banks?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:55 | 3370534 Icantstopthinki...
IcantstopthinkingaboutNINJAs's picture


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:58 | 3370909 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

It would appear the week was spent sorting through the names of bank accounts in each bank and the one with the most ending in '-ov' is to be wound down...Laiki


I do believe that is what they did.  Also I also agree, this is far from over.  For them not to explain what the mechanics of this is and the full operation tells me that they are playing this by ear.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:22 | 3370152 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

hahah more like Germany restates what the said before they last Cyprian "no" vote.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:03 | 3370157 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

And we triple dog guarantee, we won't steal any more depositor's money...,

until next time.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:07 | 3370186 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

The difference between principle and practice is a lot bigger in practice than in principle.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:30 | 3370274 akarc
akarc's picture

Europe has no principles! But then neither do the U.S. Banks so our turns a comin!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:31 | 3370280 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

It's just the principAL that's the problem.    Anywhere from 6.75% to 25% of it.....

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:08 | 3370742 asteroids
asteroids's picture

Eh? (1) There is a bank failure. (2) Depositors are having their capital stolen from them. Theft is theft. (3) Bankers get away without penalty. It's too early to tell what the side effects are going to be.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 19:59 | 3370128 wintermute
wintermute's picture

2013 Cypriot Economic Calendar:


Bailout I in Q1

Bailout II in Q2

Bailout III in Q3

Eurogeddon in Q4

Happy New Year

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:01 | 3370148 Sabibaby
Sabibaby's picture

I'm thinking it will be like Greece. 

You just put what amount you want into the computer and everything is O.K. :-)

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:54 | 3370384 sunnydays
sunnydays's picture

So no vote from the people who were elected in Cyprus.  So it is a dictatorship that is now saying what a country has to do.  I thought the countries were still soverign countries.   What absolute Bullshit!  The people were F'd over and the EU got what they wanted, the Russian money.  


Oh wait.... Russians NEVER forget what is done to them.  Revenge will happen.  Maybe not tomorrow, but revenge from the Russians will come.   The EU just took themselves down by the Russians.  

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 00:07 | 3371109 Herodotus
Herodotus's picture

Perhaps the Russians will rape all the German women.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 19:55 | 3370102 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Aaaaand, we're off!  Bullish!  Dodged another one!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:49 | 3370367 Jack Burton
Jack Burton's picture

Back to "The Walking Dead" you mean!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:57 | 3370390 akak
akak's picture

At least the zombies in "The Walking Dead" don't eat their own brains!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:39 | 3370595 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

i) Laiki to be wound down;

That tells me that ALL deposits over 100k in Laiki will be GONE.  We are going to have alot of formally very wealthy people having a very, very bad day.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:56 | 3370691 Spaceman Spiff
Spaceman Spiff's picture

Damn bro!  AI ain't on Sunday.   It is the 'Walking Dead' scheduled for TV watchin'.   This fits right in...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 03:54 | 3371340 Freaking Heck
Freaking Heck's picture


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 19:55 | 3370111 johnnymustardseed
johnnymustardseed's picture

Was that the sound of a can being kicked?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:07 | 3370190 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Partly, but look at the worldwide raid on tax shelters.

Looks like, from now on, all big money is hot money.  Doesn't dare sit in one place for long.

Yeah, that will work.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:19 | 3370238 FecundaGoat
FecundaGoat's picture

Agreed...and moves into Gold??  (And I'm not a gold Muppet!!)

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:11 | 3370211 nmewn
nmewn's picture

That was the sound of Laiki Bank being crushed.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:31 | 3370278 akak
akak's picture

We laiki all of your money ....

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:47 | 3370353 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Looks laiki to me ;-)

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:17 | 3370496 scrappy
scrappy's picture

Laiki! - I envision this phrase on an upcoming WB7 Poster.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:28 | 3370268 Water Is Wet
Water Is Wet's picture

That was the sound of someone telling you he kicked the can, and hoping you believe him.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:57 | 3370392 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Yes, but the next sound will be the wailing and gnashing of teeth of the relatives of EU officials who turn up dead.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:13 | 3370220 Surrealist
Surrealist's picture


"...a massive 40 per cent "haircut" on deposits of more than 100,000 euros..."

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:01 | 3370412 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Heads will roll.

Can you imagine being a wealthy Russian oligarch with 10 Billion Euros and having 4 Billion Euros stolen?

Would you spend 1 Million Euros to have Lagarde, Draghi, or any (or all) of the other ECB thieves eliminated from existence?

Hell yes!

(Disclaimer:  I am not a Russian Oligarch or hired assasin, nor is this an endorsement of assasination, only an observation of what I would do if a bunch of plutocrats stole 40% of my money).

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 00:30 | 3371153 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Please add Baroso and VanRompuy to that list plus that British Leftisst and his klan - the AH who ran against Thatcher.  I think his whole ***ing family are on the EUSSR gravy train.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:50 | 3370365 Bangin7GramRocks
Bangin7GramRocks's picture

What a surprise! Check out the shocked look on my face! So many of you people fall for it every time. Suckers! I bet you get pissed every time a carney takes you for $5 too! And always stop to play 3 card monty.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:51 | 3370371 pauhana
pauhana's picture

No parliamentary vote required because confiscation is not a tax?   Wow!  Don't tell Obama about that!

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:27 | 3370796 suteibu
suteibu's picture

Obamacare individual mandate upheld because it IS a tax.  See, it works both ways...for our overlords.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:00 | 3370409 sunnydays
sunnydays's picture


Another thing.  This proves the banks will steal all deposits without a government voting on it.  Due to having to do it to save the banks.  Right there is very telling and people should see that their money is not safe in any bank.  As all banks feel the money is theirs and not the peoples. 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:45 | 3370634 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

I don't have time for this, I'm too busy looking at the ad "". I have no idea why that ad appeared on my screen (smirk, smirk).

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 03:05 | 3371325 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

Ahh don't the MP's still have to vote this through. I'm sure the Russians have been lobbying hard on this, one bullet in the post to every MP.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 19:51 | 3370081 max2205
max2205's picture

1600 this week folks

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 19:57 | 3370130 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

The S&P 500 and the euro are still a good deal, right?


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:45 | 3370631 Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

Well of course, since the latest rumor in Cyprus, equities around the world are worth MORE than where they were before Cyprus had any known problem...

Criminal fuckers.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:00 | 3370145 eigenvalue
eigenvalue's picture

How about 0? :)

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:09 | 3370199 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

eigenvalue, your moniker suggests you know something about linear algebra.  If so, I have a couple of questions that I cannot find anyone who can answer...  Drop me a gmail /at/ my moniker punto com if you would like.  Thx in advance.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:33 | 3370290 eigenvalue
eigenvalue's picture

Why do you put all the questions here? All the maths geeks on this site will have a chance to show his talent?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:46 | 3370348 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

Question and request withdrawn, then.  Peace.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:23 | 3370519 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

Aw, c'mon -- vectors and matrices can be fun, you know.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:10 | 3370208 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

The faster the paper price hits ZERO the better...........

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:38 | 3370310 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

rickards on the Cyprus deal...........



deal is more proof, not that it's needed, that is strong & getting stronger. Contrary to & , Euro wins.


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 19:58 | 3370082 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Goodbye joobux... Oh wait!


Edit: PREDICTED HERE [motherfucking jew ass junkers ~ blow me]

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:02 | 3370163 Schmuck Raker
Schmuck Raker's picture

If you think everyone junking you is Jewish, you're an idiot.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:08 | 3370191 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

How does that ratio change if jews are 'BANANA SPLITS'?



Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:17 | 3370231 nmewn
nmewn's picture

How does it change if Protestants are banana splits?

You're riding on the edge of chinese citizensim shitizism with all the jooo stuff all the time...just sayin francis.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:20 | 3370241 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Wanna PLAY?


Kewl ~ I'll start with the 1st volley...

UNDEFINE 'joobux'...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:35 | 3370302 akarc
akarc's picture

Francis That would be feeding your paranoia and giving you an oppourtunity falsely confirm your unfounded bias, which would be malpractice. 

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:04 | 3370396 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

OK readers


It is CONFIRMED [in a few swift keystrokes of a ZH post]... That francis_sawyer is both PARANOID & 'UNCONFIRMED' [based on preponderance of all historical facts by all civilization at large]... Unless you 100% agree with the previous comment, you are 100% complicit & guilty of 'MALPRACTICE' & should be sentenced accordingly...

Otherwise ~ Carry On...

[I wasn't planning on a long night battling against a TRIBE of ZH log ins in a 'Fight Club' where the rules are... ONLY 2 to a FIGHT... But fine... BRING IT ON]...


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:42 | 3370332 nmewn
nmewn's picture

You're leaving a few things out of the equation francis, like the Statute of Jewry & Expulsion. Edward I was happy to tax the living shit out of jooos as a means to his debt driven ends.

So who was the bigger thief?

Edward (government) who confiscated what was not his or jooos who gave people what they wanted on a mutually agreed upon, voluntary basis?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:48 | 3370361 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Satisfactory ~ But I'll thus define further...


I'm not concerned about 'EDWARD' because he's generations of fiats REMOVED from what exists today [& who it funnels towards]...

Let's start with 1913 forward, shall we?... & onto the EURO...

I'm waiting...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:58 | 3370400 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Waiting for what dipshit?

I've already explained the convergence of government, progressive taxation and banking. Weren't you paying attention?

I would think this is one instance where canon law would be supported by atheists & christians alike or is that over your fucking head too?

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:09 | 3370449 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Jesus Fucking Christ... You type 'EDWARD I' on a fucking keyboard & assume [to everyone] that you've achieved a doctorate in...

"the convergence of government, progressive taxation and banking"


Are you like that fucking Harvard dude in the bar in 'Good Will Hunting'?

More importantly...


Sun, 03/24/2013 - 21:33 | 3370560 nmewn
nmewn's picture

I'm sorry...I thought you requested of me to UNDEFINE jooobux.

Which I did.

Perhaps you were looking for a different answer, more in-line with your preferred perception of reality. I can't help you there.

I like apples and oranges, comparatively speaking, they're both delicious, just not the same flavor.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 22:07 | 3370734 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

You said:

Edward I was happy to tax the living shit out of jooos as a means to his debt driven ends.

I asked:

I'm not concerned about 'EDWARD' because he's generations of fiats REMOVED from what exists today [& who it funnels towards]...

Let's start with 1913 forward, shall we?... & onto the EURO...


Last I checked... Longshanks died in 1307... I'm afraid THAT is the only 'preferred perception of reality' that I can muster...

Maybe if you concoct a potion of apples & oranges, & distill it to some degree... I'll begin to comprehend...




Mon, 03/25/2013 - 00:42 | 3371182 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

You're not supposed to take all the meds that you missed at once.  It messes with your head.

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:26 | 3370260 chump666
chump666's picture

I agree. Enough with the Jew scapegoat.  Europe has decided they want to be slaves, they have a choice.  They want the EUR, they get boned.  Nothing to do with jew cabal bank elite conspiracy theory lunacy.

IMF are made up of gangsters, christian German/Franco ass-wipes

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:30 | 3370276 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture



Since mnewn [or whatever the fuck his username is], has fagged out... JUMP RIGHT IN yourself...

UNDEFINE 'joobux'...

Sun, 03/24/2013 - 20:34 | 3370296 chump666
chump666's picture

Look man, I don't give a damn about Jews, lizards from the 12th dimension or any of that sh*t.  All I am saying is, we are f*cked.  We bring this unto our-selfs.  No rabbi pulling levers.

We get what we deserved.  Read that as you may...

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!