With Russia "Demanding Cyprus Out Of The Eurozone" Here Is A List Of Possible Russian Punitive Reprisals

Tyler Durden's picture

As has been made abundantly clear on these pages since the breakout of the latest Cyprus crisis, the Russian policy vis-a-vis its now former Mediterranean offshore deposit haven-cum-soon to be naval base, has been a simple one: let the country implode on the heels of the Eurozone's latest humiliating policy faux pas, so that Putin can swoop in, pick up assets (including those of a gaseous nature, much to Turkey's chagrin) for free, while being welcome like the victorious Russian red army saving Cyprus from its slavedriving European overlords (a strategy whose culmination Merkel has very generously assisted with).

Curiously there had been some confusion about Russia's "noble" motives in Cyprus (seemingly forgetting that in Realpolitik, as in love and war, all is fair). We hope all such confusion can now be put to rest following the clarification by Jorgo Hatzimarkakis, the German Euro deputy of Greek origin, who told Skai television on Sunday morning that Russia did not want Cyprus to stay in the eurozone.

From Kathimerini:

Jorgo Hatzimarkakis, the German Euro deputy of Greek origin told Skai television on Sunday morning that Russia did not want Cyprus to stay in the eurozone.

 

Cyprus’s alternative plan was only a half-plan that also relied on Moscow’s help. However Russia preferred a Cyprus outside the eurozone, but inside the European Union,” stated Hatzimarkakis.

 

Cypriot Finance Minister Michalis Sarris returned to Cyprus on Friday after his week-long effort to convince Russian authorities to lend some support to the Republic in the form of a new interstate loan, contribution to a bailout fund or even the extension of the 2.5-billion-euro loan from 2011, but to no avail.

At this point it bears (pun intended) pointing out that what Russia does as Cyprus situation devolves into utter ad hoc chaos, in both Cyprus and Europe, is the biggest and most important wildcard. So here, according to the Guardian, are some things a suddenly quite furious Russia can do (aside from watching quietly on the side as its billionaires are suicided):

Fears are growing of Russian reprisals against European businesses as EU authorities desperately seek a deal to save the Cypriot economy by imposing a 25% levy on bank deposits of more than €100,000.

 

As the island scrambled to put together a rescue programme, its finance minister, Michalis Sarris, said "significant progress" had been made on the latest levy plan in talks with officials from the European Union, the European Central Bank and the International Monetary Fund.

 

The government in Nicosia faces a deadline of Monday to reach an agreement or the European Central Bank says it will cut off emergency cash to the island, spelling the likely financial collapse of its banking system and a potential exit from the European single currency.

 

However, with Russian investors having an estimated €30bn (£26bn) deposited in banks on the island, the growing optimism about a deal was accompanied by fears of retaliation from Moscow. Alexander Nekrassov, a former Kremlin adviser, said: "If it is the case that there will be a 25% levy on deposits greater than €100,000 then some Russians will suffer very badly.

 

"Then, of course, Moscow will be looking for ways to punish the EU. There are a number of large German companies operating in Russia. You could possibly look at freezing assets or taxing assets. The Kremlin is adopting a wait and see policy."

 

Nekrassov rejected suggestions that Russia might hit back by cutting off gas supplies, a tactic the country used in 2009 after the collapse of talks with Ukraine to end a row over unpaid bills and energy pricing.

 

"Gas is no longer a weapon," Nekrassov said. "When Russia did that before, it realised that the foreign energy lobby reacted and efforts to find alternative sources were increased. If Russia kept threatening, it knows that nobody would be buying its gas in 20 years' time."

 

Mike Ingram, an analyst at City broker BGC Partners, said: "In Russia, historically, if they want an asset they just grab it. If they want cash out of a [EU] business [in Russia] they just create a tax bill or raid offices and make your life unpleasant. They could also make life difficult diplomatically on issues such as Syria. They might also rattle a few sabres over deployment of the missile defence system."

Sadly, unlike the rest of the algorithmic world, Russia does not succumb to the idiotic policy of "if S&P is up, then all is well" and neither does it have an endogenous bent toward seeing everything in an optimistic light, unlike Mr. Ingram above. Which is why with the decision-making process in Europe in total disarray, keep a very close eye on Russia's next steps, as well as on any potential future suicides of Russian oligarch billionaires.

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kliguy38's picture

Do you take polonium with your tea?

BaBaBouy's picture

Who Will Be Next To Come Down With Polonium Breath ???

francis_sawyer's picture

MAVERofsky & GOOSovich... Soon to be patrolling the Mediterranean skies...

TeamDepends's picture

Ever been "water-boarded" with old caviar?  You will say anything.

knukles's picture

See toldja....
The Ruskies want Cyprus out of the EU.... No more dumb ass shit from the crazies. He'll, nobody even knows who's in charge. Hands off MY fucking money. Ruskies have a better understanding of banks and capitalism than those EU idiots

Cyprus is not a NATO member

Ruskies bail out their own oligarch money with their own peasants money, own the banks, and get warm water port

Touché
Game set and match to the old commies

Whoa Dammit's picture

Still relevant today... Monty Python Always look on the Bright Side of Life. /s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2Wx230gYJw

Big Slick's picture

@ Ahmeexnal & “France dumps the eurozone”

VERY MISLEADING & not the case at all from the story Ahmeexnal links to.

The Pravda story describes the opinion of a French Nationalist that France should exit the EU.  Big deal.

A few more canards like that and people stop reading your links, Ahmeexnal.

Abraxas's picture

Nobody fucking leaves EU. Nobody! We'll raid your apartments, we'll poison your tea, we'll dig up the crimes you committed when you were a teen, we'll publish how you incestuously sucked your mother tit (when you were a toddler, which we will conveniently omit). Nobody fucking leaves!

Moonrajah's picture
The RULES of EURO CLUB.

 

1st RULE: You do not talk about EURO EXIT.

2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about EURO EXIT.

3rd RULE: If bank liquidiy goes limp, taps out the BAILOUT is on .

4th RULE: Only two guys to a bailout - TROIKA and the dumb euromember.

5th RULE: One bailout at a time - the eurocrats have too much on their hand already, thank you very much.

6th RULE: No haircuts to Goldman Sachs, no real assets to Russians.

7th RULE: Bailouts will go on as long as they have to.

8th RULE: If this is your first bailout at EURO CLUB, you HAVE to fold.

Cathartes Aura's picture

couldn't resist the reincarnated jesus blog re: astrology.

That the Kremlin is so audacious as to carry out its historical machinations according to astrology indicates of just how megalomaniacal Russia's ruling elite have become. Unfortunately for these tyrannical liars, however, God is watching...

a rather perfect example of the nonsense people can come up with when trying to "use" planetary archetypes to "explain" their belief systems - evol russky trying to dominate the world with devil star worshipping!!! - seriously, this shit belongs back in the 50's Cold War propaganda, back when you got the newsreels instead of a cartoon when you went to the Saturday picture shows. . .

RayGun and Nancy used astrologers, and!!

Fitzwater acknowledged that Reagan has a thing about lucky numbers--his is 33--and the ghost of Abraham Lincoln in the White House, but said he knew nothing of the President's own interest in astrology.

diabolical message????

lol.

IdiocracyIsAlreadyHere's picture

No shit.  And how much paper and energy were wasted during the cold war era on the Soviet Union being the home of the "antichrist" and the bringer of "armageddon".  The whole concept of "prophecy", whether astrology or religion, is nothing but a clever ruse to dupe the masses from taking control of their own lives - "I can't create a better future -  the bible/the stars say its the end of days".  Fools.

pkea's picture

can someone get this story straight? I was under impression that russia or to be more precise gazprom isn't bailing out cyprus anymore after turkey tensions? regardless in or out of the eu

 

berezovsky wasn't the billionaire as far as i know for a while, more like decade...his death is highly overrated in terms of conspiracies...more likely  just a conincidence

Nobody For President's picture

Coincidence:

 

coincidence may be defined as the very tool used by Fate to shape the destiny of men and nations. Observe it now at work in the affairs of Captain Blood and of some others.” 
Rafael SabatiniCaptain Blood

 

Conicidence, my ass...

Alea Iactaest's picture

@ knuckles - dude ur so friggin' spot on! Let's review:

1. Russia wants a warm water port, among other things

2. Cyprus is part of the EU (and has said warm water port, in a decent neighborhood also!)

3. Germany is looking to cozy up with the Russians (and Chinese and others)

4. Southern EU hates Merkel

5. Euro can't be fixed, needs a scapegoat

Throw 'em all in the blender:

Cyprus leaves the EU "voluntarily" but widely seen as being pushed out by Germany. Club Med gets all pissy and creates some show of solidarity. They rebel against the northern EU, especially Germany.

After much gnashing of teeth and wailing and creation of a new Euro, Germany can no longer make an economic case to stay in the EU. It leaves as a free agent and looks east for the highest bidder.

Putin, who wants a blood oath of loyalty, already received tribute from Merkel: in the form of her help splitting Cyprus off from the EU -- something Russia would have had a hard time doing on its own (especially without use of force).

The new economic powerhouse: Germany, Russia, China, etc. controlling almost all oil energy for western Europe. Denominated in non-USD. With a warm water port.

Or not. Just putting puzzle pieces together.

 

The Big Ching-aso's picture

Well if they rename Cyprus' capital to Moscosia I think that'll be a pretty good sign of Russia's intentions here.

Ahmeexnal's picture

Russians are not stupid. They understand it was the german imperial family behind the bolschevik revolution (it was gold confiscation on a massive scale and murdering a competing royal dinasty).
Fast forward a couple decades and once again the german plutocracy betrays the russians (now under Soviet rule) as the teutons tried to subjugate a clearly superior russian war machine.
Present day, Angela Merkel in a disastrous slip of the tongue proclaims that "Cyprus partners will lose" in a clear reference to Russia.
It will be only days for Merkel to eat her words. When hyperinflation engulfs central europe, the aryan pipedream of a thousand year reich will be reduced to a "quadrillionth of a femtosecond reich".

Abraxas's picture

It resonates true, Ahmeexnal. There is a war being fought out there and we don't even know exactly who's on whose side. All we intuitively feel is that we (the savers) will somehow lose.

ebworthen's picture

And France will hold on to it's belief in the Euro to the bitter end, another Maginot Line mistake.

Buck Johnson's picture

Exactly, Russia will get a warm water port essentially in the jmiddle of southern europe and be cornering the gas that Cyprus is on in the region.  Turkey will bow out because russia came into the gas fields, also it may curtail the gas line that was being pushed in the area to go around Russia and make the EU independent of Russian gas.  He most likely told Cyprus let yourself implode and if they give you the money anyway then don't do what they want and continue to siphon money.

Pseudo Anonym's picture

not enough of "them" from that tribe

Who Will Be Next To Come Down With Polonium Breath ???

caconhma's picture

ZeroHedge and its readers are utterly confused about Cyprus, Russia, Germany, and the Zionist-controlled US & British axis:

·        Late last year, the West tried to overthrow Putin. It did not work but Putin understood there is no way back. Syria is a good example as well as more close relationship with China. Putin will look for any opportunity to screw the West. Putin needs to have close relationship with Germany and to destroy EU to get rid from NATO threat.

·        The Zionist-controlled US & British axis is trying save, preserve, and extend its world financial, economic, and military geopolitical positions. For these purposes its tries to screw China, Russia, and Germany. The European crisis was manufacturing by this Zionist-controlled US & British axis to screw up and destroy Germany being forced to save and support endlessly failed EU countries. By getting rid of Euro, Germany will regain its independence and, using its industrial and technological might will start dominating the European continent.

·        Lastly Cyprus, it’s a good excuse to start the Euro zone destruction. Cyprus today is like Balkans just before the WW1.

The rest is just noise and destructions. Who gives a shit about useless Cyprus citizens or few bogus oligarchs? Nobody. Just ask Mr. Bernanke or Mr. Obama.

tip e. canoe's picture

yes, anyone seeing Russia & Germany on opposite sides in this "showdown" is not seeing the full picture.

Alea Iactaest's picture

Crash the Euro in the process, drive people into USD. Crash PMs and commodities (priced in USD) one more time to put more people into USD. Enact taxes and capital controls. Introduce new currency.

At least that's what I would do, but I'm not as devious as some.

centerline's picture

Good stuff folks.  Just viewing this from a financial/banking perspective misses the point.  There is no doubt a bigger play at hand.  Extension of the same historical tensions/power play.  Each time the stakes get higher and higher.

Winston Churchill's picture

Add China into that axis.

Nice little trding bloc, reserve currency area forming up.

Certainly would not be the first time in history that Germany did a

180 and surprised eveyone.Comintern pact, seperate WWI peace accord with

Russia.

Watch this space.

Omen IV's picture

Go Putin! Go east Cyprus, Go East!

CrashisOptimistic's picture

You want geopolitical flow, let's start with oil, and then just move to human beings.

Putin and his staff were humiliated.  They watched the Soviet Union surrender and now, as the oil kahuna, they have a chance for revenge and a chance to elevate Russia to dominance.  Why would they not take it?

Cyprus is an offshore banking haven paying high interest and low taxes and TAKING MONEY FROM EU BANKS thereby.  The EU wants it stopped.  That money could be going to them instead of Cyprus.  So they want that business model destroyed.  Cyprus is not behaving like desperate cravens.  They don't really want their source of wealth destroyed.

If the EU had not insisted on haircutting all Greece bondholders, Cyprus would have no problems.  They held a lot of those Greek bonds and they went along with the EU plan of not declaring default for the swaps.  They probably thought there were promises involved, and now see there are not. 

Lastly, and important, the natgas thing is bullshit.  The big field offshore Israel and Lebanon doesn't extend north that far.  The Cypriots wanted to build an LNG plant and talk the Israelis into piping from the north edge of the field to Cyprus, rather than have a juicy LNG target for terrorists on the Israel coast.

There.  Geopolitics.

Alea Iactaest's picture

Cyprus, the divided Mediterranean island that announced its first offshore gas find last week, said revenues will benefit Greek and Turkish Cypriots because reunification will be achieved before the fuel is shipped.

“Revenues are not envisaged to start accruing before a number of years pass because we need a number of years to develop the necessary infrastructure,” Praxoula Antoniadou, minister for commerce, industry and tourism, said in an interview in Nicosia. “Our vision is that the Cyprus problem will be solved much sooner, within months.”

Cyprus’s Greek and Turkish-speaking communities have been divided since 1974, when Turkey invaded the north of the island. Exploration drilling last year by the U.S.’s Noble Energy Inc. (NBL) prompted Turkey, which doesn’t recognize the Greek Cypriot government, to send warships to the area. It has urged Cyprus to freeze oil exploration until a settlement is reached so that the Turkish Cypriot community can benefit from revenues.

Noble’s gas field, containing as much as 8 trillion cubic feet of fuel, “enhances the probability” that other sites off Cyprus may also hold hydrocarbons, Antoniadou said Jan. 4. The government announced a second oil and gas licensing round on Nov. 23, covering 12 of 13 blocks, and will invite expressions of interest “in about a month’s time,” the minister said.

Bloomberg - January 6, 2012

schatzi's picture

Christ, this place has its fair share of loony tin-foil hat wearers.

tenpanhandle's picture

are you for us or against us?

akak's picture

"If he is not with us, he is with the enemy."

In other words, an "evildoer".

LOL

NuckingFuts's picture

Christ, this place has its fair share of loony tin-foil hat wearers.

 

You are either on the bus or off the bus, choose.  Sure there are some wackjobs but they are OUR wackjobs.... so you want a ride?

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

.

You are either on the bus or off the bus, choose.

The Eccentric Kook-Aid Acidizenism Test

Abraxas's picture

Anybody who can buy into consumerism is by default a loony tin-foil hat wearer.

Banksters's picture

Cypriot MPs are soft targets.   If I were one I'd hop  the first flight to whateverland and maintain a low profile, literally...  Yuri, Andrei and the crew want you, dead.

Escapedgoat's picture

A lot of the Natives are wishing that too.

sunnydays's picture

Cyprus was healthy and prosperous financially before joining the EU in 2008.  The EU cause them to become unhealthy and indebt.

 

http://sherriequestioningall.blogspot.com/2013/03/cyprus-in-trouble-beca...

AssFire's picture

Hey, I want to be a part of that Euro zone thing..

Oh wait,   I've  already got  my own government destroying half my wealth before I die and then taking half of whats left it when I die...

Think about that- these cocksuckers take 75%- not just 20%... If Cyprus leaves the Eurozone, I might just want to migrate there.

nmewn's picture

I was just thinking the same thing.

At least the Russians go about their thievery honestly ;-)

disabledvet's picture

i'll bring the beer and chips...

Nobody For President's picture

I'm down with you, especially if you forget the damn chips.

I'll bring the brandy chaser.

ziggy59's picture

Currency Wars, Part 2013, Rule Number 1
Never Play Russian Roulette With Those That The Game is Named After. -They May Assist And Insist You Continue To Win, Until You Lose

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Bernanke: How about a nice game of poker? Texas Hold'em, anyone?

Master_Blaster's picture

No, the EU is a dump...fixed it for you

insanelysane's picture

The EU is the classic bully.  They get away with a lot of shit until one day someone decides to punch them in the mouth and everyone finds out they have a glass jaw.