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Cyprus Church Loses EUR100 Million, Curses Those Responsible

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Perhaps it was their comment last week that "with the brains in Brussels... the Euro can't last," but the Orthodox Church of Cyprus has lost over EUR100 million reacted to its holdings in Bank of Cyprus. Church leader Archbishop Chrysostomos II, in comments on TV, noted that "Cyprus asked for 'crumbs' compared to large size of Europe’s budget," and that those responsible in Cyprus should be punished (he blames the outgoing government, Ministers of Finance, the Central Bank, and the Executive Directors of Banks) - "those that brought the place into this mess, should sit on the stool." He noted that people will lose jobs and the state will be poorer but that the Church is prepared to help; and his first step - to send invitations to the heads of various Russian companies on the island.

Via Church of Cyprus,

Heads of Russian companies operating in Cyprus will call a working lunch, next Thursday, March 28, 2013, His Beatitude Archbishop Chrysostomos Mr. to encourage them to remain in Cyprus.

 

Speaking to the media Sunday, March 24, 2013, the Archbishop said: "I think we should stand on our own forces. Do not expect any thing. Our people have unfortunately learned to live with the waste, but when the need to know and live with a few and I think he will live with the few. We will try as much as possible to open a business there that can help the state. We will do this with love, "he added.

 

He also said that "next Thursday I call - I will send invitations and of course - the heads of various Russian companies on the island, we come to the Archdiocese for a working lunch."

 

"I want to invite people to talk together, to encourage them to stay that benefit in Cyprus because Cyprus was the only country that gave interest to the Russian capital, and if they had their money in any other European country would receive or 0 or 0.5%, while here they get so much more. At last they have brought the place into this mess, should sit on the stool, "he said.

 

The Archbishop said that the situation blame the outgoing government, Ministers of Finance, the Central Bank, "which brought the top down, blame and Executive Directors of Banks."

 

"We all sit on the stool, of course, because they brought up - and found below this poverty of our people, so unexpectedly, without a consideration. It is not vengeful. We must punish naughty, fiber and other fear shall have, "he added.

 

Replying to a question, the Archbishop said that the banks belong to the shareholders. "It is neither the Governor nor anyone. The Governor can not monitor, or orders appoint either cease or be closed banks. Unfortunately, they stayed with our own apathy. I've said to initiate treatment, "he said.

 

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Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:36 | 3372393 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Yeah, but they're not doing the same kind of God's work that Blankfein is.......

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:37 | 3372400 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

The Careless Whisper News Update & Threadjacking AHEAD Of Drudge. Just Sayin'

New FORD Ad Campaign - Fifty Shades; Women In Leather Tied In Backseat, Berlusconi In Front Seat With Victory Sign

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/ford-apologizes-ads-showing-women-11533570...

LAPD $1 Million Reward For Cop Killa Dorner Had Some Fine Print; "Arrest & Conviction"; No Payout!

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-dorner-reward-20130325,0,6535203...

 

 

 

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:42 | 3372438 Cursive
Cursive's picture

@The Careless Whisper Report

Now it takes $1M to promote good citizenship?  We have no society, people.  Easy money and the welfare state have ruined us.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:50 | 3372468 jcaz
jcaz's picture

Ah, the Beatitude Archbishop on his knees to the Russians all next week-  gotta love how the Church works....

Operative word there is "head"....

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:56 | 3372502 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

v

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:57 | 3372518 cifo
cifo's picture

"those that brought the place into this mess, should sit on the stool."

Did he mean "stand on the stool"? (with the noose around the neck).

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:59 | 3372526 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

^^ post fail

The Church of Cyprus should begin to issue "indulgences" in the form of printed notes and metal tokens.

They'd be a perfect source of an alternative currnecy.  Let the EU think that Cyprus hasn't left.

Who's going to counterfeit the church and risk excommunication?  As for the actual "indulgence" aspect -- well, that's buying stuff.  After all, all the sinful acts are already prohibited by law.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:04 | 3372531 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

What's a church doing with $100 million?  Aren't they supposed to give that away to the needy and poor?

"Curse those responsible".... lol....  Had they given the money away like all those who donated understood as such, there would be no "cursing".  Seems everyone is hoarding cash these days.

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:07 | 3372561 jaap
jaap's picture

Here is a lesson: spend it on the poor, do not stimulate the banksters by giving it to them (e.g. put it in a bank account).

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:34 | 3372733 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

There weren't any real poor on Cyprus until this fiasco hit. The expression that they shoud sit on a stool apparently means that they shoukd be brought to justice ( sit in the dock).

My guess is that there will be retribution sought for what has happened.

My bigger guess is that Cypriots will bounce back unless Europe has more knives to stick in their back.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:40 | 3372767 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Perhaps a two-legged stool on top of a preesure release trap door with a noose around their neck. It can be built in the courtroom by all means...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:54 | 3372838 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

i agree and the trap door can allow them a quick entry to hell.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:28 | 3373033 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Jesus put up with a lot of assholes when he was on earth including his own apostles; the Pharisees; Satan; and his killers.

The only group that he displayed righteous anger against were the money changers (bankers).

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:25 | 3374222 giggler123
giggler123's picture

I guess lunch is on the Russians than.  You know even if it were just fish and red wine I'm sure the Church will be able to make it go around.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:55 | 3372849 MachoMan
MachoMan's picture

Touchdown.  These things need to be taxed like the businesses they are...  If you're going to talk the talk, then walk the walk...  All I see around here is an arms race as to which church can build the biggest monument to god, while going into debt to do so...  leaving the poor in the cold in the process.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:09 | 3372575 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

if they lost 100 mm or 40% they still have a 150 mm to NOT give to the needy and poor.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:13 | 3372610 Pseudo Anonym
Pseudo Anonym's picture

the church will now have to step up their drive "donate your cash for the needy and poor" so the clergy can accumulate $100MM on the side line again

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:42 | 3373126 EscapingProgress
EscapingProgress's picture

I don't see why these bishops are complaining. Isn't this just part of God's plan? If someone must "sit on the stool" then surely it should be God.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:56 | 3372507 redpill
redpill's picture

The executive team of Popular and BoC should be held personally liable for the losses as it was their decision to invest heavily in Greek bonds.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:56 | 3372856 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

My friend I agree, but you forget that the European banks which did the same thing got bailed out.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:12 | 3372947 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

At the (well paid & often double dealing) advice of GS...

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:52 | 3372486 cifo
cifo's picture

Pretty rich church. (One would think the church should be a not-for-profit organization.)

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:51 | 3372442 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

And Jesus said,

17 Tell us therefore, What thinkest thou? Is it lawful to give tribute unto Caesar, or not?

18 But Jesus perceived their wickedness, and said, Why tempt ye me, ye hypocrites?

19 Shew me the tribute money. And they brought unto him a penny.

20 And he saith unto them, Whose is this image and superscription?

21 They say unto him, Caesar's. Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's.

22 When they had heard these words, they marvelled, and left him, and went their way.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+22&version=KJV

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:56 | 3372508 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Dear God..

Isn’t it way past time for you to be doing a little righteous smiting on some evil doers down here?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:56 | 3372859 unrulian
unrulian's picture

Patience my son....

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:16 | 3372535 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Jesus was also heard saying, "holding cash is dumb anyway. You really should be in bonds". Of course, he was just talking his book. Interestingly, he poured money into collectables. Gold crucifixes seemed like an odd choice at the time, but it worked out for both he and Paul.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:34 | 3372734 Captain Kink
Captain Kink's picture

+1 for Jesus "talking his book" 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:18 | 3372972 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Everybody knows that Jesus saves.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:26 | 3373021 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

But Datsyuk is there for the rebound... he SHOOTS - HE SCORES!!! Nifty work by Datsyuk... Jesus never had a chance.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:08 | 3372567 Turin Turambar
Turin Turambar's picture

"They say unto him, Caesar's. Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's."

What about "Thou shall not steal?"

How is what's mine also Caesar's?  Please square that circle for me.  If Jesus is literally referring to Roman currency, does that mean that all of my non-governmental markded possessions as well as precious metals are biblically hands-off for government thieves?

Sadly, probably not.  Looters never let things like morality and rationalism interfere with their self-serving, confiscatory ways.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:20 | 3372655 sansnobel
sansnobel's picture

I think what Jesus meant was , Decide who your God is!!!!!!!!!  Is it that idiot who has fashioned himself into a God and put his image on the coin or is Your God Money or the concept of Money itself?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:31 | 3372719 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

The things you own end up owning you.

~Tyler Durden

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:42 | 3372786 TruthHunter
TruthHunter's picture

What about "Thou shall not steal?"

How is what's mine also Caesar's?

 

The point of discussion was taxation. the context, sedition, or at least tax resistance.  Perhaps

you aren't comfortable with the idea that not all taxation is theft?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:53 | 3372837 Charles Wilson
Charles Wilson's picture

"What about "Thou shall not steal?"

How is what's mine also Caesar's?"

That's the Joke.  The Flavians set it up that way.

Caesar is "Lord of the Earth".  The coin is already Caesar's and everything else is as well.  When you "render unto Caesar...", you are merely giving him what he already owns - EVERYTHING.

 

It's a JOKE.  The Cypriots are just the Butt of this one this time but there will be many others.

There always are.

 

CW

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:28 | 3373031 thisandthat
thisandthat's picture

Someone has a different opinion: http://www.lewrockwell.com/orig11/barr-j1.1.1.html

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:37 | 3373100 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

Good link.  Thanks.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 19:54 | 3374782 Turin Turambar
Turin Turambar's picture

Excellent link!  Thanks!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 19:57 | 3374792 Turin Turambar
Turin Turambar's picture

ALL taxation is theft.  If it were voluntary instead of confiscatory, it would be called a donation.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:11 | 3372586 JR
JR's picture

And Jesus said,

16 “Woe to you, blind guides! You say, ‘If anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing; but anyone who swears by the gold of the temple is bound by that oath.

17 You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred? 

23 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former.

24 You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.

25 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.

26 Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+23&version=NIV

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:58 | 3372866 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Love this one.. J.C., The Original Jerry Maguire ..Show me the money..
19 Shew me the tribute money. And they brought unto him a penny

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:02 | 3372893 asteroids
asteroids's picture

In short the Troika stole from the church. This is pure evil. They will all surely rot in hell. God will have the final judgement.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:14 | 3373712 resurger
resurger's picture

word.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 19:34 | 3374679 trader1
trader1's picture

They showed Jesus a gold piece and said to him: Caesar's men demand tribute from us. He said to them: What belongs to Caesar, give to Caesar; what belongs to God, give to God; and what is mine, give it to me.

http://www.earlychristianwritings.com/thomas/gospelthomas100.html

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:45 | 3372798 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

I guess the church didn't expect their money would be taken, it's getting ugly. lololololololololol

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:21 | 3372991 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Actually that church had pledged all its assests for a Cyprus bail out other than the Troika's, which is a lot of assets since it is the largest landholder in Cyprus.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:38 | 3372407 Perpetual Burn
Perpetual Burn's picture

Yeah they brain wash people instead.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:42 | 3372436 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

What kind of church stockpiles $100 million?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:45 | 3372449 Ruffcut
Ruffcut's picture

The catlick church probably has 100 billion including slums as assets. Collect from you, keep for them. Good times.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:47 | 3372457 jcaz
jcaz's picture

A small one...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:53 | 3372487 GlobalCtzn
GlobalCtzn's picture

Every damn one of them that can. The Vatican probably pulls that kind of coin every damn day. We can all take comfort in knowing that it is consistently put to good use...........

 

 

s/

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:57 | 3372512 GlobalCtzn
GlobalCtzn's picture

Oh shit, there I go confusing church with bank again. Sorry, my bad.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:17 | 3373723 e-recep
e-recep's picture

"What kind of church stockpiles $100 million?"

religion is useful for some. it constitutes one of the pathways to power and wealth. probably the easiest one.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:46 | 3374310 OpenThePodBayDoorHAL
OpenThePodBayDoorHAL's picture

you should see the Vatican

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:54 | 3372839 HardwoodAg
HardwoodAg's picture

Or, don't fuck the orphans and alter boys till we're done with them.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:21 | 3372993 Lost Word
Lost Word's picture

Banksters NWO agenda = destroy Christianity.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:37 | 3372401 Cursive
Cursive's picture

Bring on the Inquisition for Bankers and Politicians!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:38 | 3372403 Cookie
Cookie's picture

thanks ZH for everything!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:38 | 3372406 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

Lycourgos Kyprianou

Hope this guy loses it all. He never paid up for defrauding American investors.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:40 | 3372415 magpie
magpie's picture

Template for...Vatican confiscations ?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:41 | 3372430 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Sovereign and has its own bank, if I remember correctly.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:51 | 3372474 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

 

 

VATICAN CITY/MILAN | Mon Mar 19, 2012 4:04pm GMT

 

(Reuters) - JP Morgan Chase (JPM.N) is closing the Vatican bank's account with an Italian branch of the U.S. banking giant because of concerns about a lack of transparency at the Holy See's financial institution, Italian newspapers reported.

The move is a blow to the Vatican's drive to have its bank included in Europe's "white list" of states that comply with international standards against tax fraud and money-laundering.


The bank, formally known as the Institute for Works of Religion (IOR), enacted major reforms last year in an attempt to get Europe's seal of approval and put behind it scandals that have included accusations of money laundering and fraud.

Italy's leading financial daily Il Sole 24 Ore reported at the weekend that JP Morgan Chase in Milan had told the IOR of the closing of its account in a letter on February 15.

The letter said the IOR's account in Italy's business capital would gradually be phased out starting on March 16 and closed on March 30.

In Milan, JP Morgan Chase declined to comment and the Vatican also had no comment. It was not possible to contact IOR officials because Monday was a holiday in the Vatican.

Il Sole said JP Morgan Chase informed the IOR that the account was being closed because the bank's Milan branch felt the IOR had failed to provide sufficient information on money transfers.

The financial newspaper, which gave the number of the IOR account, said some 1.5 billion euros passed through it in about 18 months. It said the account was a "sweeping facility," meaning that it was emptied out at the end of each day with funds transferred to another IOR account in Germany.

The closure move by JP Morgan Chase, which was also reported by two leading general newspapers on Monday - Corriere della Sera and La Stampa - was a further blow to the IOR, whose image has been tarnished by a string of scandals.

In September, 2010, Italian investigators froze 23 million euros ($33 million) in funds in two Italian banks after opening an investigation into possible money-laundering.

The bank said it did nothing wrong and was just transferring funds between its own accounts. The money was released in June 2011 but Rome magistrates are continuing their probe.

http://uk.reuters.com/article/2012/03/19/uk-vatican-bank-idUKBRE82I0P820...

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:58 | 3372500 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Rewind the time machine just a little further...

 

 

(Reuters) - The Vatican appointed a German lawyer to head its bank on Friday, but the bid to turn the fortunes of the scandal-hit institution was clouded by his business links to a military shipbuilder.

The appointment, made by a commission of cardinals, was approved by Pope Benedict and is likely one of his last major decisions before he resigns at the end of the month, a move he announced on Monday, stunning Catholics around the world.

As chairman of the Institute for Works of Religion (IOR), Ernst von Freyberg will head efforts to improve the image of the Vatican's bank which is under investigation for money laundering and has been without a head for nine months.

Source: Reuters

 

By the way, what was the name of that bank in Germany which holds the IOR funds?

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:55 | 3372844 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Thats just too funny.. JPM closing acct due to lack of transparency...
I guess they cant stand competition, or others doing to them what they do to others

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:41 | 3372422 morning
morning's picture

Portugal still immersed in apathy and internicine parochial warfare over who builds the coolest museum. I love the world. 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:41 | 3372423 Bagbalm
Bagbalm's picture

Can you be excommunicated for stealing from the Church?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:41 | 3372424 Inbetween is pain
Inbetween is pain's picture

What the hell are they doing with 100 million anyway?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:44 | 3372443 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

They "lost" €100MM. Do the math to figure out how much they acutally have/had.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:53 | 3372490 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

Modern indulgences.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:41 | 3372427 Brokenarrow
Brokenarrow's picture

Poll:

Who will be the first  central banker to be asassinated?

american or european

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:47 | 3372463 Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

--- European
--- American

fixed it for you

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:50 | 3372472 pods
pods's picture

It will be a European and it will be the lobster polonium bisque.

pods

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:51 | 3372480 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Professor Plum in the library with the rope.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:59 | 3372525 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Sergei the Cleaner at Chez Julien with the ice pick.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:08 | 3372562 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Joe Biden, under the desk, with the scissors...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:22 | 3372671 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

More like Joe Biden, under the desk, with a milk mustache.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:51 | 3372483 little buddy bu...
little buddy buys the dips's picture

BOTH at the same time.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:56 | 3372509 jtz5
jtz5's picture

Was always secretly hoping serial killers would focus on bankers instead of hookers or drifters.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:42 | 3372428 Iocosus
Iocosus's picture

Evil always consumes itself: that is natural law. The elite are turning on each other, and the hard-working responsible people will be relegated to clean up and rebuilding. Alas, the weeds always return and grow faster.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:43 | 3372439 torak
torak's picture

We can only hope that this is Iceland redux.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:45 | 3372448 q99x2
q99x2's picture

The day the banksters rob Jesus is no day at all. Duck and cover here come the asteroids.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:46 | 3372453 PUD
PUD's picture

That's the best news yet!!  If this template can wipe out all churches the world will be a much better place!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:57 | 3372511 joak
joak's picture

Before saying such idiocy, you should know about the social contribution of the Orthodox church in countries like Greece and Cyprus. They have assets (mainly real estate), yeah, but they don't use it against the people. If you prefer those assets going to the hands of the banksers, sorry, but you are a plain idiot. You should also notice at some point that this financial crisis is used as a mean to destroy Christianity, or at least what is left. What do you think Spain, Ireland, Italy, Greece and Cyprus have in common  ? The whole world is broke, however those countries get raped first. Why ? PS : I'm agnostic...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:10 | 3372577 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

''What do you think Spain, Ireland, Italy, Greece and Cyprus have in common  ? The whole world is broke, however those countries get raped first''

 

Are they being raped or merely being restructured in anticiaption of the death of the dollar?

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:13 | 3372601 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

The church is promising to feed everyone. Vacations to Greece just became all-inclusive.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:03 | 3372540 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I'm sure it will be a great place with the bankers holding all of the assets.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:11 | 3372587 Lebensphilosoph
Lebensphilosoph's picture

Thanks for that jejune bit of atheist twaddle.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:50 | 3372473 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Banksters Go directly to Hell... Dont collect 200, uh 13 BILLION  ..

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:53 | 3372484 Mad Mohel
Mad Mohel's picture

They take your money, "bless you son, your sins have been absolved."

You take their money, "you motherfucker, may you rot in the 9th circle of hell!"

Nice hats by the way.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:54 | 3372495 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Bernanke finally got in the office and started the printers. Dow's reversing losses.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:56 | 3372503 medium giraffe
medium giraffe's picture

Is it only a matter of time until we see the return of EOKA?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:56 | 3372505 I_Rowboat
I_Rowboat's picture

Silly Hats Only!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:57 | 3372516 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

Where is Your Sun God now?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:03 | 3372539 _ConanTheLibert...
_ConanTheLibertarian_'s picture

Church's first response: GODDAMNIT!!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:03 | 3372543 Pseudo Anonym
Pseudo Anonym's picture

if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is

Cyprus was the only country that gave interest to the Russian capital, and if they had their money in any other European country would receive or 0 or 0.5%

enter 40%+ hair cut; as opposed to 0-0.5% interest elsewhere

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:12 | 3372600 sansnobel
sansnobel's picture

I don't think Jesus wanted the Church to be a business with a fat fucking bank account.  The role of his church is to spread his word with the money that comes in from charitable giving from people who generate value in society and give expecting nothing in return,  not put it with a Banker so it can be stolen.....If the Church needs a safe place to store "God's Money" a fucking commercial Bank is a terrible place.  Looks like God needs to get some smarter people to run his finances.  Come to think of it  something about the love of money being the root of all sorts of terrible evil comes to mind. 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:16 | 3372622 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

Jesus actually said when being complained to about taxes and such:

"give to Ceaser what is Ceaser's". He was refering to Ceaser's imprint on the coinage.

All our currency belongs to the governments and they want it back.

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:21 | 3372664 Lebensphilosoph
Lebensphilosoph's picture

They can have their worthless paper back ... in exchange for gold and blood.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:37 | 3372760 foxenburg
foxenburg's picture

@slightlyskeptical: my coinage has oom Paul Kruger's head on it. No-one's getting it "back".

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:47 | 3372806 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

"All our currency belongs to the governments and they want it back."

Genius.  Jesus was truly a revolutionary still misunderstood. 

Caesar's money = Caesar's game. 

If you don't play Caesar's game, Caesar can't beat you at it. 

Thanks, that just hit me.

Love my ZH.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:43 | 3372788 SKY85hawk
SKY85hawk's picture

Where's the Charity in banks buying low quality debt (Greek bonds) that default(get Haircut . .)?

Where's the Charity in the government changing laws to suit the banking failures?

Christ never said to give in to theives.

Christ did say 'Love thy neighbor as you would have them love you'.

 

The Archbishop is correct in recommending the Iceland solution!

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:23 | 3372679 DutchR
DutchR's picture

Something to do with, "The .... giveth and the .... taketh away".

? strange .... does not equal banksters, go figure.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:33 | 3372727 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

I think that is today's song of the day and soundtrack to this whole Cyprus and when extended EU banking mess.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5GrSPUAj4E

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:13 | 3372957 DutchR
DutchR's picture

How fitting, Queens Of The Stone Age.

Dont want to go back there again...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:33 | 3372728 Watson
Watson's picture

'Cyprus Church Loses EUR100 Million, Curses Those Responsible'

_Curses_?

Didn't read one myself, but 'They will grow five eyes, and their ears will fall off', if it actually happened, would be pretty impressive.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:41 | 3372772 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Humans put lots and lots of psychic energy into churches, mosques, synagogues, even if they are not true believers. When government fucks with those institutions, that energy gets released and things get real very quickly.  Expect the pace to accelerate as that religious energy hits the psychic bloodstream of Europe.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:00 | 3372878 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Are you suggesting a Crusade through Brussels ?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:14 | 3373365 Alpha Monkey
Alpha Monkey's picture

I'm down with that, maybe the christians and muslims can work together this time...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:07 | 3374135 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

No, people are going to use that freed up energy to create local economies based on local resources.  Religion as we know it will be re invented.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:41 | 3372778 Mountainview
Mountainview's picture

Mgr. has to thank Greece and their corrupted polito-public (self)- servants for the mess and Brussels for their long term cover up...Russian money laundering is a completly different issue...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:49 | 3372815 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Have them also put a curse on Bernanke and the Fed banksters for outright robbery.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:56 | 3372860 e_u_r_o
e_u_r_o's picture

loled so hard @ "Curses those responsible"

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:59 | 3372862 W74
W74's picture

"- to send invitations to the heads of various Russian companies on the island."

Hohohohoho.  Yes indeed.  Send invitations, you know they'll want to "punish" anyone even perceived to be responsible too. 

One thing a lot of people don't understand about Eastern Europe and the Balkans (we'll take a big leap and lump Cypress in with the Balkans for our purposes here) are the deep deep ties the region has with the Byzantine Empire.  Serbs, Russians, Ukranians, Greeks, Cypirots, Bulgars, etc....all have more historical connections than most people realize, use the same Alphabet (or modifications), and practice a much more conservative form of Christianity than what is practiced by those who inherrited a legacy from Western Rome.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:30 | 3372867 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Perhaps the Cyprus church could sell indulgances to the bankers to get their 100 million back? The central bankers need a lot of indulgance.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:59 | 3372871 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

I think the statements made that the church should have no money is a lot of drivel. Unless of course we overlook the story of Joseph.

In any case the true test of the Church in Cyprus lies ahead as it deals with the seven years of lean cows that it now faces.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:00 | 3372876 faboutlaws
faboutlaws's picture

The bishop could always threaten them with his unlucky left handed blessing. My uncle the monsiengor threatened that a lot and it often worked.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:12 | 3372942 I_Rowboat
I_Rowboat's picture

Oh please, Jeebus!  Why didn't you prevent this?!  It's like you're not even there!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:39 | 3373117 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

So it is official, the average citizen, the church, and the mafia are all lastingly angry at the EU bankers. I picture 3 hungry lions on an island with one rabbit.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:57 | 3373906 Joe A
Joe A's picture

I don't know but did the church ever paid taxes over their posessions? Churches are often big land owners and owners of real estate. Did they pay taxes or were they exempted from paying tax?

This is a golden opportunity for the church to reconnect with Christ cause Christ was poor, didn't have any posessions and defended the poor and the downtrodden. So give up all your wealth and live like Christ!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:51 | 3374078 Dungeness
Dungeness's picture

Finally, a church is trying to run the money changers out of the temple, although too late in this case.

Can one imagine the wrath unleashed on the banksters, if all the Christians (and Jewish? And Molems?) of the world considered fractional reserve banking and interest/usery to be worse than abortion or gay marriage?

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