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Eurogroup Head Says He Did Not Say What He Said

Tyler Durden's picture




 

That thing Diesel-BOOM very, very clearly said earlier? He did not say it. After all, can't have the market getting any ideas that reality may be slowly coming back to the basket case that is Europe:

  • EU DIJSSELBLOEM SPOKESWOMAN: DIJSSELBLOEM DIDN'T SAY CYPRUS A TEMPLATE FOR BANK RESTRUCTURINGS - DOW JONES

So not only are European depositors still impairable, because sadly Dijsselbloem was dead serious in his Reuters interview, but the new Eurogroup head pulled a Juncker and confirmed "it is serious" in the process losing all credibility too.

To summarize Diesel-BOOM: "If the market is red, you have to lie."

Forget Risk-On-Risk-Off, it's Template-On-Template-Off now...

His subsequent official clarifying remarks on the Eurogroup's website:

Statement by the Eurogroup President on Cyprus

 

25/03/2013 - Statement

 

Cyprus is a specific case with exceptional challenges which required the bail-in measures we have agreed upon yesterday.

 

Macro-economic adjustment programmes are tailor-made to the situation of the country concerned and no models or templates are used.

 

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Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373238 CH1
CH1's picture

They are NOT smart.

If they were, they would never have said it (the truth) in the first place.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373243 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

Surprised ?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:04 | 3373285 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

One truly would need to see a proctologist to have their head examined, if they believe that one.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:08 | 3373318 Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

D-Bloem is a D-bag.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:11 | 3373337 redpill
redpill's picture

He said what he said, but he was wrong to begin with.  Most of the large Euro economies would have simply bailed out the banks without a second thought, and throttled their parliaments to vote for it until they complied.  The only problem with Cyprus is that the banking sector was 7x the size of their entire economy so even if they sold every last Cypriot into perpetual slavery they still would be insolvent.  Thus this was the solution they came up with.

IRELAND is the blueprint.  Fuck the taxpayers, and make them pay for the bankers.  That will always be the blueprint as long as there are enough taxpayers to get it done.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:14 | 3373354 silver500
silver500's picture

This was not the "truth", these guys have no idea what they are doing or what their intensions are

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:23 | 3373431 walküre
walküre's picture

Seems that their actions and statements aren't coordinated enough. They need a bigger bureaucracy to channel every bit of information from Amsterdam to Nicosia. That information ministry shall be conveniently located in Berlin's former offices of the Ministry of Truth.

Orwell was on to something but even he couldn't imagine how bloody painful and inhumane the suffering for the world would be to live in a constant state of propaganda and lies.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:38 | 3373526 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

If these guys speak the truth it is only because they accidentally tripped over a lie and the truth came out inadvertently.

Once they realize their mistake, they quickly go back to what they do the best - deceive and destroy.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:41 | 3373543 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

i think they must have hired nathan thrum as a consultant.....

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:54 | 3373584 Kitler
Kitler's picture

I never thought I would live to see the day that Fractional Reserve Banking would transform itself into Fractional Deposit Banking.

With little financial upside, depositing money in a bank is like placing a bet in a casino where the only excitement comes from finding out how much money you are going to lose.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:57 | 3373650 franzpick
franzpick's picture

These Euro-Crookes have a really deep bench of rookie spokesmen.  Bringing out Dis'll BlowEm, and then immediately benching him, tells me we're entering the hail-mary period late in the 4th financial quarter.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:03 | 3373930 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I'll take odds that the ECB and the wise council of EU elders (/s) increases deposit insurance on € denominated deposits within a week to two at most.

Italy & Spain will break regardless (they're already broken; it's just that the true depth and intractability of their economic and financial depression will become highly visible to even the commoners despite all the Pollyanna-speak by the EU bureaucrats).

The extent of the sepsis that is present in the French economy and intra-nation banking system will also soon become apparent despite bureaucratic Pollyanna-grams, as well.

Look for massive pressure to be exerted on € denominated money markets, as the next phase of the EU's crisis.

You can't un-ring a bell and you certainly can't un-crack an egg.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:46 | 3374076 verum quod lies
verum quod lies's picture

If possible I would have given your a dozen thumbs up for that one.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:48 | 3373596 Cdad
Cdad's picture

S&P 500 has just thrown in whatever last shred of credibility it had left.  Okay...folks can go ahead and pull the plug on it all now.  Obviously the beatings to force people to "invest" are now over.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:04 | 3373672 BeaverFever
BeaverFever's picture

I think that they hired Million Dollar Bonus as a consultant.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:10 | 3373697 Whiner
Whiner's picture

CHIHUAHUA CITY, Mexico — Treasury Secretary Gusavo Petricioli Iturbide denied reports that the government is planning another big devaluation of the peso currency soon, claiming that such a measure would spur inflation even more. 1988

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:15 | 3373368 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

Whether pols or regulators or bureaucrats or elite corporate shitheads, they all share one attribute - they're all pathological fucking lying sons of bitches

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:46 | 3373582 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Spain is letting Bankia burn today. I don't know. I think Spain and Italy are looking at bail in's not bail outs.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:52 | 3373617 redpill
redpill's picture

I have no doubt that some of the Southern European socialist-types are starting to eyeball this situation and think "why didn't I think of this" -- of course before they even think about proposing it in their own country they'll make sure their own deposits, and those of their most important political donors, are far out of reach.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:57 | 3373648 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

sounds right. what an amazing amount of control they just displayed...market spiraling off...so they make this dumbass retract his very real statement and the market sheds it's losses. fascinating how rigged this whole thing is...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:14 | 3373357 walküre
walküre's picture

They also retracted their statements on charging depositors last Monday before they implemented them much worse a week later.

Spain and Italy are up next. Too big to save indefinitely. Cyprus is cut off now. Sliding into Greek style coma of economic irrelevancy.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:04 | 3373289 akarc
akarc's picture

Buy the rumor sell the rumor

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:28 | 3373464 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

Look, it's not what you say it's what you deny you said after you say you never said it.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:51 | 3373614 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

"i was only kidding, trying to get a rise out you"

Austin Powers

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373244 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

rallys back on baby.... YEhaaaaa

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:07 | 3373306 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Like I said, we wont ever get a 2% down day ever again because the fuckin system is levered 50 to 1 now....we got close today...but of course PPT spiked the Nitro button when we were close to down 1%.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:14 | 3373358 kaa1016
kaa1016's picture

You're 100% right. The markets can never go down ever again. The headlines out of Europe and the fact that the Fed is doing $85 billion per month of QE forever proves this point. I feel like I'm living in the twilight zone.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:21 | 3373409 mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

Oh it will go down.  Hard, fast and without mercy.  No one will be held accountable though.  In fact, the crash will spur governments to give the banks more money.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:45 | 3373574 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Not until the sheep are fully invested in stocks.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:33 | 3373493 barliman
barliman's picture

 

Mila Kunis was last week's biggest 'tell' ...

"You're 100% right. The markets can never go down ever again." is this week's biggest tell.

So many people are buying into that mentality lock, stock and over-leveraraged, over-a-barrel sure of it that it gives me an evil chuckle the more I hear it repeated.

We have moved beyond the "dumb money" tell into the "you have to be brain damaged if you believe markets can NEVER go down again" tell.

No offense, kaa1106 - I heard the same spiel from a 'financial advisor' for a major brokerage house on the phone just last week.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:45 | 3373576 MrNude
MrNude's picture

Having Ms Kunis, one of the cast members of the new Wizard of Oz movie advising people to go bullish on stocks is the kind of satire you can't make up anymore. ''Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain'' indeed. 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:25 | 3373750 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

Kind of like old baseball players...

How is Lenny doing...?

Cramer ruined that guyfaster than he would have ruined himself.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:51 | 3373872 kaa1016
kaa1016's picture

No offense taken. I'm not saying that the markets can never go down. I think the markets are going to crash. I should've said that it seems like policy makers believe that markets should never be allowed to go down ever again. I thought we were at a top in this market, and we probably are, but it seems like TPTB are hell bent on never letting a negative outcome happen due to the fact that rising equity markets, in their eyes, are a real time indicator of their policies working. When everyone buys into that mentality that's when the market is at the greatest risk of a crash.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:24 | 3373436 poseidon
poseidon's picture

I've pretty much thrown in the towel trying to short this market.

 

Every day, new highs - just seems no end to this melt up.  Uncle Ben says the market isn't overvalued and he has the pedal to the metal.  It isn't going to end well, but I don't think the end is coming until he leaves office.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:27 | 3373459 max2205
max2205's picture

Don't feel bad....Longs are getting shreaded by overnight gap opens and fades

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:43 | 3373561 walküre
walküre's picture

Nobody on the outside is able to make money in this market trading.

Outsiders can only hope for further market rise and keep long positions

Good luck with that.

The guys in charge of the casino are crooks and the corporate guys are in it for their own benefit and the pref. shareholders who they have to oblige to.

There are better ways to enjoy life AND keep your hard earned savings.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:13 | 3374158 barliman
barliman's picture

 

For a while now the pattern has been:

Markets up; Volume down.  Markets down; Volume up.

What was different about today?

Markets down; Volume down.

The Bernanke Put is the equivalent of poison to the markets. It literally destroys the corrective feedback cycle the markets depend on. If we now start to see more Markets down; Volume down.

We are getting close to the point where the markets will one day, effectively, go bidless regardless of Up or Down

But by then, it will be too late, just like Cyprus, to get your money out.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:02 | 3373274 Timmay
Timmay's picture

Clusterflock of Black Swans...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:27 | 3373757 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

We are surrounded by black swans, does that mean they are now irrelevant and we should be on the lookout for a brite green florescent swan?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:40 | 3373537 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

They are smart. This way message is out and a denial too.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:50 | 3373605 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The statement was for anyone with any brains left...'get out'...now he can say he didn't say what he said all day long, the message is clear you're an idiot if exposed to any of these banks.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:51 | 3373611 B2u
B2u's picture
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Mon, 03/25/2013 - 22:06 | 3375275 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

I said nothing....I said noooooooooothing...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373240 Mordenkainen
Mordenkainen's picture

He also voted against the plan before he voted for it.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:03 | 3373670 tickhound
tickhound's picture

He had to vote for it to find out what was in it.  In it it said, "BUY STAWKS!"  The HOLY TEMPLATE. 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373241 kito
kito's picture

 in the process losing all credibility too.....

 

ha ha....as if he had any to begin with............

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:31 | 3373483 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Well they did amongst themselves, for a while at least.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:01 | 3373242 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

  • EU DIJSSELBLOEM SPOKESWOMAN: ALSO DIJSSELBLOEM DIDN'T SAY CYPRUS WAS NOT A TEMPLATE FOR BANK RESTRUCTURINGS - DOW JONES
Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:08 | 3373319 Tango in the Blight
Tango in the Blight's picture

Dijsselbloem is considered a lightweight, even here in the Netherlands. He probably was set up to be the fall guy when the whole euro thing comes crashing down.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:25 | 3373440 HoaX
HoaX's picture

" Dijsselbloem is considered a lightweight, even here in the Netherlands."

And you speak on what authority for us Dutchmen exactly?

Btw, since you are dutch as well you should have seen this coming. Dijsselbloem was very clear with the SNS debacle that he intended to do this very thing sooner than later, and I agree with him. Too bad all bondholders (and the ECB) cried so loudly he had to go back on that one, not this time though, and hopefully not in the future.

Time for TBTF to end, and even more than time to leave the taxpayers (of who most of us never even had anything to do with any of the banks involved) alone for a change.

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:32 | 3373783 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

So it would reason that money would flow to where TBTF still exists. Japan and the USA. Unless people are starting to catch on to the whole ponzi. Of course it could also be said that once the bad debt is wiped out there won't be any money left to move. Not sure how i am able to sleep at night.

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:08 | 3373952 HoaX
HoaX's picture

Yes, and for all I care you´re welcome to have it. I do hope Ben Bernanke grows a bionic hand in that case because having all ten fingers firmly lodged on the CTRL-P button won´t suffice, although he must be having a raging boner from all of this stuff he could probably use.

p.s. I personally believe money from honest savers will flow to small local banks they know and trust to treat it well.

This is hopefully the start of the end of TBTF.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:58 | 3374107 barliman
barliman's picture

 

We do our banking through a local bank with a grand total of three offices.

And even so ... we do NOT let any excess money sit in the account for any longer than it takes to make a visit and withdraw the cash.

Murphy was an optimist.

Ben Bernanke is POS.

The EU just fucked the Russians for $ 10 billion ... which is only a good idea if you execute a nuclear first strike immediately afterwards.

Since the EU now has the military capabilities of Botswana ... Let's see how  the "Fuck'em & forget'em" approach works out for the EU.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 19:24 | 3374648 WallowaMountainMan
WallowaMountainMan's picture

watching the web broadcast of the panel that included Dijsselbloem, my impression was that he is a good man. smart, well intentioned and trust worthy. under strain, for sure. as an honest man would be.

thanks for the tip on the sns story.

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:26 | 3373458 Black Forest
Black Forest's picture

EU DIJSSELBLOEM'S WIFE: MY HUSBAND'S SPOKESWOMAN DIDN'T SAY CYPRUS WAS A NOT TEMPLATE FOR BANK RESTRUCTURINGS

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 18:32 | 3374456 trader1
trader1's picture

cannabis is a great thing.

as they say, pass the dutchie...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:54 | 3373634 Arisu
Arisu's picture

We have always been at war with Eastasia.
We have never been at war with Eastasia.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373247 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

OK everyone. Back on the short bus.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373248 Martial
Martial's picture

When the situation becomes serious enough...lie. Or just say you didn't say what you said even thought you did say it.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:08 | 3373691 franzpick
franzpick's picture

All seriousness aside, when your lips move, concentrate on lying.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373249 Father Lucifer
Father Lucifer's picture

WTF

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373250 Legolas
Legolas's picture

Diesel Boom:  "All I did was yell FIRE in a crowded theatre.  It's not like I had a gun or anything."

 

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:01 | 3373253 rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

How does this script repeat so consistently and perpertually with great success through such intelligent minds like investors with so much money that moves markets?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:36 | 3373511 augustusgloop
augustusgloop's picture

because it works... nothing makes money like money, or something like that. 

 

though, i think a near-top indicator was the reporter asking the bernanke if it was too late to get in on the action. by the time lowly pudknocker reporters and those of the Yahoo News (or Bloomberg for that matter) ilk "get" that the rally has been QE filled, you're near the top. 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:39 | 3373529 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Do you have permission to use intelligent minds and investors in same sentence?

Just ask'n

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:43 | 3373831 rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

No since they're hard to find but what I did get was some wierd algo code.......

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:43 | 3373560 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

I am getting sick and tired of waiting. How long I have to eat can food just to replenish my stock.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:01 | 3374114 verum quod lies
verum quod lies's picture

At a minimum given what we have seen since the 'Financial Crisis' began, how can anyone still read a finance textbook and think, well sure that Fama guy makes sense the markets are informationally 'efficient' and investors are purely economically rational? The truly rational response to what has just transpired in Cyprus is to withdraw every cent, place it under you mattress, and curl up into the fetal position while sucking your thumb & humming your favorite show tune.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:01 | 3373261 orangegeek
orangegeek's picture

Well thank goodness Diesel breath came clean and spoke the truth.  Dow Jones IA just moved up about 100 points in the last hour.

 

Apparently countries that are bankrupt remains a bullish event for markets.

 

Getting out the Orville Redenbacher.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:07 | 3373313 WTF_247
WTF_247's picture

History will prove these idiots wrong, given a bit of time.  Right now the market is totally goverened by algo based trading and is detached from reality.  The funds are perfectly happy to let their decisions be made by computer programs rather than use some common sense and logic.  Uncle Ben has assured them there is very little risk in the markets  - so why would you ever sell?  All selloff attempts for the last 4 months have been immediately turned around either the same day or the next day no matter what the news is.  

Any and all events that would normally signal caution are viewed as massively bullish.  Individually they would not signal panic time either but when you add them all up and ignore any and all risk metrics eventually it will lead to massive panic selling.  Just waiting on the trigger event.

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:11 | 3373334 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

85 billion, per month, every month, indefinitely.  This has finally caught up with the markets "pricing" and now provides the support.  Don't think, just BTFD!  Take profits, buy physical assets of real value.  Repeat.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:18 | 3373387 walküre
walküre's picture

The last step is the most important or risk of being vaporized.

You realize though that "indefinitely" can also mean that it ends next month. Banker speak.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:45 | 3373577 20-20 Hindsight
20-20 Hindsight's picture

Exactly. I can't see how some people manage to sleep at night when they leave their chips on the casino table, yet oblivious to the notion that the casino is about to blow up any time now.  

I wouldn't want to be in that building when the whole thing lights up.  

Those gamblers dumb enough to place their faith in Bernanke's words shall deserve to lose their shirt in the end.  

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:29 | 3373471 poseidon
poseidon's picture

Devaluation of purchasing power, while inflating the market nominally.

If your assets are not being inflated, you're being deflated.  Pity the folks without the large equity investments.  While this tide may raise some boats, its the ones in the yachts that are benefiting most.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:02 | 3373267 WTF_247
WTF_247's picture

Thats all the algo's needed for an all in, risk on ramp to positive - 8pts in 20 min is a good start.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:22 | 3373413 mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

Son, we need some cover.  

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:02 | 3373268 akarc
akarc's picture

must be why market going up. Puke!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:02 | 3373269 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Claims on wealth "assets" is not the problem in Europe if they get turned into national equity money claims

 

The physical structure of Europe is breaking down because it is a extreme entrepot economy with little internal redundancy.

 

You cannot scale up Amsterdam to continental size and expect a hinterland to supply it.

 

The world is simply not big enough.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:02 | 3373271 GtownSLV
GtownSLV's picture

I think I have it: "We won't take your money, at least most of your money, but you can't have your money. If you want some of your money, just give us a little while so we can confiscate some one else's money, but since they already withdrew their money, we'll have to confiscate more of your money."

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:24 | 3373428 mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

You left out "Capisce?"

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:05 | 3373291 poseidon
poseidon's picture

Zany how the market hangs on every word.

To trade this market successfully - you must divorce yourself from all rational logic.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:12 | 3373345 WTF_247
WTF_247's picture

Market is totally detached from risk metrics due to over computerization of trading.  Once the algo's make a turn higher off of an intraday selloff it almost never sells again.  You can average into the push all you want short but they never really let go again.  Anyone attempting that will just average to a larger loss.  That in and of itself is not normal behavior, especially after such a big push higher.  

Rather than 2-3 day corrections we get 2-3 hour corrections which undo themselves the same day or the next AM on the big gap and run higher - again very, very abnormal behavior for the markets but that is just what they are doing right now.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:24 | 3373439 mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

To trade this market successfully - you must divorce yourself from all rational logic.

 

And be nimble as a fox.

And have a plus 200 IQ

And be lucky 99% of the time.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:05 | 3373296 DutchR
DutchR's picture

Please, I swear, I will not cum in your mouth..........

 

gold/silver/tampax BITCHEZzzzzzzzzzzzz

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:08 | 3373695 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

FWIW, I think he said: "The check's in your mouth and I won't cum in your mailbox."

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:06 | 3373298 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

QE5 within 8 months.  It will be direct bank infusions and equity purchases.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:09 | 3373317 hedgeless_horseman
Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:07 | 3373315 Central Wanker
Central Wanker's picture

Are we having fun yet?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:07 | 3373316 Kiss My Iceland...
Kiss My Icelandic Ass's picture

"BLUE !!! .... no, YELLOW !!! ... ahhhhhhh !!!!"

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:56 | 3373645 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

+1 lmao

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:09 | 3373321 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

I fear a DieselBATH     Berezovsky style

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:12 | 3373323 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

Wake me when the guillotines come out.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:09 | 3373324 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

Where's everyone going ?  Deboom said chillax niggas all's well. 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:10 | 3373330 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Of course D-Boom didn't say it....you were dreamin'. Not start buying....aqnd front run POMO as it begins again tomorrow.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:13 | 3373349 sitenine
sitenine's picture

Things look serious. Long lies, short the shit out of truth.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:14 | 3373361 WTF_247
WTF_247's picture

Just think how bullish it will be when it is discovered there are a few more "whale" losses in the money center banks - that should push Dow to at least 16k.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:17 | 3373382 PUD
PUD's picture

Fed chairman tells London School of Economics that strong U.S. growth will benefit all.

YES! BORROW..SPEND..SAVE THE WORLD!!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:20 | 3373396 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Never mind...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:32 | 3373490 negative rates
negative rates's picture

A classic moment in time it was.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:35 | 3373507 clawsthatscratch
clawsthatscratch's picture

sadly the younger crowd may not remember this :)

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:36 | 3373512 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Miss her and the original SNL ..
Real talent!

Now, all we get is Global Leader Ass Clowns, 24/7

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:53 | 3373626 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

+500

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:20 | 3373407 MFLTucson
MFLTucson's picture

Enough with this fucking con show!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:22 | 3373423 AcidRastaHead
AcidRastaHead's picture

Merkel is wondering who forgot to fax Diesel-BOOM the "script".

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:30 | 3373479 mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

Oh he got the script and read his part correctly.

They thought that was what the public wanted to hear.

Public reaction caused an immediate interactive script change.

And for those who remembered the first words.  Quoting the Penguins of Madagascar.

 

"YOU  DIDN'T  SEE  ANYTHING."

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:21 | 3373737 Kiss My Iceland...
Kiss My Icelandic Ass's picture

... and she is just FURIOUS ! .... lmao

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:22 | 3373738 Kiss My Iceland...
Kiss My Icelandic Ass's picture

... and she is just FURIOUS ! .... lmao

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:24 | 3373432 Glass Seagull
Glass Seagull's picture

 

 

You had better print the proof of his original statement out, save it for future reference, bc they're about to scrub the electronic media.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:34 | 3373496 mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

Perhaps,

Or they will leak naked pictures of someone.  Or give by 1 get one free Burgers.  Or free pancakes or another magic jackpot fot the lottery.  Distracting from the truth has been working pretty good.

 

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:24 | 3373434 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

From Diesel-Boom to Diesel-Fume in no time at all.

If they can be so f...n hopeless in public, how hopeless are thry in private?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:52 | 3373612 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Coming up with depositor's bail-ins and bypassing bankruptcy laws is pretty fucking hopeless.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:59 | 3374352 e-recep
e-recep's picture

either these guys are very dumb or things are extremely bad. i think it's time to panic.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:29 | 3373472 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"I did not have sex with that Woman."

"I am not a crook."

"It depends on what your defininition of 'is' is."

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:10 | 3373965 Notarocketscientist
Notarocketscientist's picture

I will take your fucking head off with a hard right hand if YOU EVER make partisan comments on here again.   Fuck Clinton. Fuck Reagan. Fuck Bush. Fuck Obama.

They are front men for the same cocksuckers who are FUCKING YOU.  Wake up you fucking idiot

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 18:41 | 3374464 trader1
trader1's picture

poster above has a case of violent, victim-mentality filled paranoia...

i am being a troll in this instance...

 

both above statements are true

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:35 | 3373500 Z'
Z''s picture

Question for those familiar with German voting process... has the uncertainty been resolved in the voting laws since the high court decision last summer?  I have been wondering ever since I read the following if Merkel would be able to retain power regardless of the voting constituency.

http://www.spiegel.de/international/germany/german-high-court-demands-improvements-in-election-laws-a-846558.html

The World from Berlin: 'Germany Does Not Have a Valid Voting Law'

Germany's Constitutional Court on Wednesday ruled that the laws governing elections in the country are unconstitutional. The verdict leaves Germany without valid voting laws just over a year before the next scheduled general elections. Commentators say Chancellor Merkel's coalition is at fault.

With just over one year to go before Germans are scheduled to go to the polls in a general election, the ruling puts the pressure on Chancellor Angela Merkel to find a solution. It also means that Merkel's government, despite signs that her party is no longer willing to blindly follow her lead when it comes to efforts to save the euro, is not likely to fall prior to those elections in 2013. Without a valid voting law, the German president would surely refuse to dissolve the government no matter how many conservative rebels there are.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:35 | 3373502 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Everything is fixed, at least until it isn't...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:35 | 3373503 hungarianboy
hungarianboy's picture

I wonder how much less the whole EU market is now compared to friday close? I bet a few billions have been written off now.

Oh and the Euro to. Just give the Dutch the numbers and let them pay. I bet Merkel will come with that proposal :-)

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:37 | 3373521 philosophers bone
philosophers bone's picture

Credibility / Virginity - once you lose it, you can't get it back.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:39 | 3373534 resurger
resurger's picture

will they murder him?

lol

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:40 | 3373538 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Fools, Its Pillage, then Burn..not Burn then Pillage

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:42 | 3373549 TomGa
TomGa's picture

"I said it before I didn't say it."

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:43 | 3373554 ForWhomTheTollBuilds
ForWhomTheTollBuilds's picture

That chart is almost a thing of beauty.

 

Headline says, "template", market reacts, next headline says, "no template" market reacts equally in opposite direction. 

 

We have  long way to go my friends.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:44 | 3373568 irie1029
irie1029's picture

God you just cant make this shit up... unbelievable.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:45 | 3373580 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Spielberg must be drooling for this new Back To The Future script

TCTB (the corrupt that be) rewrites history constantly

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:49 | 3373601 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

Ive told in 2011 Whole Europe will suffer Debt Haircuts...2 years later...(damn laggards...xd)¡

 

DieselBoom is a TERRORIST ¡¡¡ 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:52 | 3373616 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

I'm recanting on my reneg of my reversal of my statements from last week.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:53 | 3373618 The Count
The Count's picture

Anybody here seen the original British 'The Thick of It'? The Diesel Bloom thing sounds just like a typical Malcolm Tucker spin.... "You might have heard him say thats Cyprus is a blue print, but that's not what he really said, do you understand? No such thing ever said, you got that or I will take out your kindeys and use them as piniatas at my next party."

 

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:52 | 3373619 B2u
B2u's picture
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:53 | 3373621 hugovanderbubble
hugovanderbubble's picture

THLD will be 18$ in 2015. The best company against prostate and pancreatic cancer in the whole world.  

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:53 | 3373631 brace_brace_brace
Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:54 | 3373635 bluskyes
bluskyes's picture

Phew! That makes me feel a lot better.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:55 | 3373643 Tunga
Tunga's picture

The cat is dead.
 
The cat is alive.
 
Duality bitches.  

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:57 | 3373649 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Boom! went the dynamite

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:57 | 3373651 sosoome
sosoome's picture

Maybe I'm too simplistic, but if a bank which holds my money makes mal-investments and loses my money, I should lose my money, and not expect other people to have to cover for me. Seems like that would restore fiduciary responsibility to the banks pronto.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:03 | 3373668 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Maybe i dont understand what you dont understand..however, if you give your friend, lets say me, your PMs, if you had any, to hold, I lose them in ANOTHER boating accident, I shouldnt be responsible to give you back your PMs? Friend! Im here

Got Gold?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:42 | 3373826 sosoome
sosoome's picture

I think you do understand...I wouldn't give you my gold to hold.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:52 | 3373877 Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

You didn't invest with them, you lent to them. They are obliged to give you back your money even if they made a bad investment. On the other hand, they don't have to give you any of the profits if they make a good investment. See how that works?

 

Bank examiners are supposed to inspect the books every 3 months and shut down a bank that is insolvent, even by 1 Euro. Never, ever is a bank supposed to be able to get this far under water.

Wonder what the bank examiners have been doing for the last few years?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:18 | 3374181 verum quod lies
verum quod lies's picture

Ah yes, you are correct, it's called 'regulatory forbearance". Of course, it was supposed to be used in extraordinary cases not as standard operating procedure (and not followed by ignoring market reality). In short, there will always be an excuse for not following their own rules. Iceland is looking better and better to me all the time.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:03 | 3373653 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

Further proof that all of Europe's finance leaders are actually highly successful day traders.  Solving Europe's problems would markedly impact some of their favorite trading setups:  'Tape Bomb', 'Holy Fuck', 'Sacred Shit' and 'Never Mind'.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:59 | 3373656 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Even Schrodinger's Cat is jealous and saying WTF?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:01 | 3373662 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

One thing is for sure, the fascist euro playbook was open on page 13; confiscation templates: The road to enslave.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:03 | 3373666 mikecagg
mikecagg's picture

Keep your money in European Banks, enjoy the 1.5% interest and pray they don't skim 25-40$ off the top, or take your money out.

 

hmmm

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:03 | 3373667 css1971
css1971's picture

I'm sorry.

Did I just see stocks take off because this Diesel guy now says he didn't say what he said? Are you fucking shitting me? Are people really that retarded?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:09 | 3373699 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Isnt that what the worm says as its coming out of the birds ass?
"Are you fucking shitting me?"

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:14 | 3373709 franzpick
franzpick's picture

SPX is half-way back to the lows.  They better keep Dis'll BlowEm on the bench.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:15 | 3373717 irie1029
irie1029's picture

Been here a little over a year and yup they are that retarded.... not meaning to slur retards.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:54 | 3373886 Diogenes
Diogenes's picture

Algos. That's how they invest and they are 70% of the market.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:14 | 3373704 smacker
smacker's picture

 

Diesel-BOOM, the rest of the EU/EZ-crats and every EU/EZ government can clarify the issue very easily.

Simply issue a public statement that rules out indefinitely any further expropriations from depositors' accounts across the EU/EZ.

I urge them to do so immediately, if not sooner...before the close of business today.

 

Absent such a cast iron assurance, one can only conclude that Diesel-BOOM is lying, having taken a look at the markets and serious risk of a bank run across Europe.

 

Edit: having just read the new EU statement, I do not believe it goes anywhere far enough. Expropriations have to be ruled out for the indefinite future.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:17 | 3373726 Tenshin Headache
Tenshin Headache's picture

The liar is dead. Long live the liar.

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