Eurogroup Head Says He Did Not Say What He Said

Tyler Durden's picture


That thing Diesel-BOOM very, very clearly said earlier? He did not say it. After all, can't have the market getting any ideas that reality may be slowly coming back to the basket case that is Europe:


So not only are European depositors still impairable, because sadly Dijsselbloem was dead serious in his Reuters interview, but the new Eurogroup head pulled a Juncker and confirmed "it is serious" in the process losing all credibility too.

To summarize Diesel-BOOM: "If the market is red, you have to lie."

Forget Risk-On-Risk-Off, it's Template-On-Template-Off now...

His subsequent official clarifying remarks on the Eurogroup's website:

Statement by the Eurogroup President on Cyprus


25/03/2013 - Statement


Cyprus is a specific case with exceptional challenges which required the bail-in measures we have agreed upon yesterday.


Macro-economic adjustment programmes are tailor-made to the situation of the country concerned and no models or templates are used.

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Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373238 CH1
CH1's picture

They are NOT smart.

If they were, they would never have said it (the truth) in the first place.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373243 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

Surprised ?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:04 | 3373285 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

One truly would need to see a proctologist to have their head examined, if they believe that one.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:08 | 3373318 Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

D-Bloem is a D-bag.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:11 | 3373337 redpill
redpill's picture

He said what he said, but he was wrong to begin with.  Most of the large Euro economies would have simply bailed out the banks without a second thought, and throttled their parliaments to vote for it until they complied.  The only problem with Cyprus is that the banking sector was 7x the size of their entire economy so even if they sold every last Cypriot into perpetual slavery they still would be insolvent.  Thus this was the solution they came up with.

IRELAND is the blueprint.  Fuck the taxpayers, and make them pay for the bankers.  That will always be the blueprint as long as there are enough taxpayers to get it done.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:14 | 3373354 silver500
silver500's picture

This was not the "truth", these guys have no idea what they are doing or what their intensions are

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:23 | 3373431 walküre
walküre's picture

Seems that their actions and statements aren't coordinated enough. They need a bigger bureaucracy to channel every bit of information from Amsterdam to Nicosia. That information ministry shall be conveniently located in Berlin's former offices of the Ministry of Truth.

Orwell was on to something but even he couldn't imagine how bloody painful and inhumane the suffering for the world would be to live in a constant state of propaganda and lies.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:38 | 3373526 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

If these guys speak the truth it is only because they accidentally tripped over a lie and the truth came out inadvertently.

Once they realize their mistake, they quickly go back to what they do the best - deceive and destroy.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:41 | 3373543 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

i think they must have hired nathan thrum as a consultant.....

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:54 | 3373584 Kitler
Kitler's picture

I never thought I would live to see the day that Fractional Reserve Banking would transform itself into Fractional Deposit Banking.

With little financial upside, depositing money in a bank is like placing a bet in a casino where the only excitement comes from finding out how much money you are going to lose.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:57 | 3373650 franzpick
franzpick's picture

These Euro-Crookes have a really deep bench of rookie spokesmen.  Bringing out Dis'll BlowEm, and then immediately benching him, tells me we're entering the hail-mary period late in the 4th financial quarter.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:03 | 3373930 TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

I'll take odds that the ECB and the wise council of EU elders (/s) increases deposit insurance on € denominated deposits within a week to two at most.

Italy & Spain will break regardless (they're already broken; it's just that the true depth and intractability of their economic and financial depression will become highly visible to even the commoners despite all the Pollyanna-speak by the EU bureaucrats).

The extent of the sepsis that is present in the French economy and intra-nation banking system will also soon become apparent despite bureaucratic Pollyanna-grams, as well.

Look for massive pressure to be exerted on € denominated money markets, as the next phase of the EU's crisis.

You can't un-ring a bell and you certainly can't un-crack an egg.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:46 | 3374076 verum quod lies
verum quod lies's picture

If possible I would have given your a dozen thumbs up for that one.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:48 | 3373596 Cdad
Cdad's picture

S&P 500 has just thrown in whatever last shred of credibility it had left.  Okay...folks can go ahead and pull the plug on it all now.  Obviously the beatings to force people to "invest" are now over.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:04 | 3373672 BeaverFever
BeaverFever's picture

I think that they hired Million Dollar Bonus as a consultant.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:10 | 3373697 Whiner
Whiner's picture

CHIHUAHUA CITY, Mexico — Treasury Secretary Gusavo Petricioli Iturbide denied reports that the government is planning another big devaluation of the peso currency soon, claiming that such a measure would spur inflation even more. 1988

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:15 | 3373368 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

Whether pols or regulators or bureaucrats or elite corporate shitheads, they all share one attribute - they're all pathological fucking lying sons of bitches

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:46 | 3373582 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Spain is letting Bankia burn today. I don't know. I think Spain and Italy are looking at bail in's not bail outs.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:52 | 3373617 redpill
redpill's picture

I have no doubt that some of the Southern European socialist-types are starting to eyeball this situation and think "why didn't I think of this" -- of course before they even think about proposing it in their own country they'll make sure their own deposits, and those of their most important political donors, are far out of reach.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:57 | 3373648 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

sounds right. what an amazing amount of control they just spiraling they make this dumbass retract his very real statement and the market sheds it's losses. fascinating how rigged this whole thing is...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:14 | 3373357 walküre
walküre's picture

They also retracted their statements on charging depositors last Monday before they implemented them much worse a week later.

Spain and Italy are up next. Too big to save indefinitely. Cyprus is cut off now. Sliding into Greek style coma of economic irrelevancy.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:04 | 3373289 akarc
akarc's picture

Buy the rumor sell the rumor

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:28 | 3373464 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

Look, it's not what you say it's what you deny you said after you say you never said it.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:51 | 3373614 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

"i was only kidding, trying to get a rise out you"

Austin Powers

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373244 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

rallys back on baby.... YEhaaaaa

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:07 | 3373306 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Like I said, we wont ever get a 2% down day ever again because the fuckin system is levered 50 to 1 now....we got close today...but of course PPT spiked the Nitro button when we were close to down 1%.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:14 | 3373358 kaa1016
kaa1016's picture

You're 100% right. The markets can never go down ever again. The headlines out of Europe and the fact that the Fed is doing $85 billion per month of QE forever proves this point. I feel like I'm living in the twilight zone.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:21 | 3373409 mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

Oh it will go down.  Hard, fast and without mercy.  No one will be held accountable though.  In fact, the crash will spur governments to give the banks more money.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:45 | 3373574 Richard Chesler
Richard Chesler's picture

Not until the sheep are fully invested in stocks.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:33 | 3373493 barliman
barliman's picture


Mila Kunis was last week's biggest 'tell' ...

"You're 100% right. The markets can never go down ever again." is this week's biggest tell.

So many people are buying into that mentality lock, stock and over-leveraraged, over-a-barrel sure of it that it gives me an evil chuckle the more I hear it repeated.

We have moved beyond the "dumb money" tell into the "you have to be brain damaged if you believe markets can NEVER go down again" tell.

No offense, kaa1106 - I heard the same spiel from a 'financial advisor' for a major brokerage house on the phone just last week.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:45 | 3373576 MrNude
MrNude's picture

Having Ms Kunis, one of the cast members of the new Wizard of Oz movie advising people to go bullish on stocks is the kind of satire you can't make up anymore. ''Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain'' indeed. 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:25 | 3373750 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

Kind of like old baseball players...

How is Lenny doing...?

Cramer ruined that guyfaster than he would have ruined himself.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:51 | 3373872 kaa1016
kaa1016's picture

No offense taken. I'm not saying that the markets can never go down. I think the markets are going to crash. I should've said that it seems like policy makers believe that markets should never be allowed to go down ever again. I thought we were at a top in this market, and we probably are, but it seems like TPTB are hell bent on never letting a negative outcome happen due to the fact that rising equity markets, in their eyes, are a real time indicator of their policies working. When everyone buys into that mentality that's when the market is at the greatest risk of a crash.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:24 | 3373436 poseidon
poseidon's picture

I've pretty much thrown in the towel trying to short this market.


Every day, new highs - just seems no end to this melt up.  Uncle Ben says the market isn't overvalued and he has the pedal to the metal.  It isn't going to end well, but I don't think the end is coming until he leaves office.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:27 | 3373459 max2205
max2205's picture

Don't feel bad....Longs are getting shreaded by overnight gap opens and fades

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:43 | 3373561 walküre
walküre's picture

Nobody on the outside is able to make money in this market trading.

Outsiders can only hope for further market rise and keep long positions

Good luck with that.

The guys in charge of the casino are crooks and the corporate guys are in it for their own benefit and the pref. shareholders who they have to oblige to.

There are better ways to enjoy life AND keep your hard earned savings.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:13 | 3374158 barliman
barliman's picture


For a while now the pattern has been:

Markets up; Volume down.  Markets down; Volume up.

What was different about today?

Markets down; Volume down.

The Bernanke Put is the equivalent of poison to the markets. It literally destroys the corrective feedback cycle the markets depend on. If we now start to see more Markets down; Volume down.

We are getting close to the point where the markets will one day, effectively, go bidless regardless of Up or Down

But by then, it will be too late, just like Cyprus, to get your money out.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:02 | 3373274 Timmay
Timmay's picture

Clusterflock of Black Swans...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:27 | 3373757 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

We are surrounded by black swans, does that mean they are now irrelevant and we should be on the lookout for a brite green florescent swan?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:40 | 3373537 zerozulu
zerozulu's picture

They are smart. This way message is out and a denial too.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:50 | 3373605 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

The statement was for anyone with any brains left...'get out' he can say he didn't say what he said all day long, the message is clear you're an idiot if exposed to any of these banks.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:51 | 3373611 B2u
B2u's picture
“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Mon, 03/25/2013 - 22:06 | 3375275 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

I said nothing....I said noooooooooothing...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373240 Mordenkainen
Mordenkainen's picture

He also voted against the plan before he voted for it.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:03 | 3373670 tickhound
tickhound's picture

He had to vote for it to find out what was in it.  In it it said, "BUY STAWKS!"  The HOLY TEMPLATE. 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:00 | 3373241 kito
kito's picture

 in the process losing all credibility too.....


ha if he had any to begin with............


Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:01 | 3373242 hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture



Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:08 | 3373319 Tango in the Blight
Tango in the Blight's picture

Dijsselbloem is considered a lightweight, even here in the Netherlands. He probably was set up to be the fall guy when the whole euro thing comes crashing down.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:25 | 3373440 HoaX
HoaX's picture

" Dijsselbloem is considered a lightweight, even here in the Netherlands."

And you speak on what authority for us Dutchmen exactly?

Btw, since you are dutch as well you should have seen this coming. Dijsselbloem was very clear with the SNS debacle that he intended to do this very thing sooner than later, and I agree with him. Too bad all bondholders (and the ECB) cried so loudly he had to go back on that one, not this time though, and hopefully not in the future.

Time for TBTF to end, and even more than time to leave the taxpayers (of who most of us never even had anything to do with any of the banks involved) alone for a change.


Mon, 03/25/2013 - 15:32 | 3373783 slightlyskeptical
slightlyskeptical's picture

So it would reason that money would flow to where TBTF still exists. Japan and the USA. Unless people are starting to catch on to the whole ponzi. Of course it could also be said that once the bad debt is wiped out there won't be any money left to move. Not sure how i am able to sleep at night.


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