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Meet The "Experienced And Versatile" Ms. Antoniades: The Woman Liquidating Cyprus' Banks

Tyler Durden's picture




 

It is perhaps oddly fitting that Andri Antoniades "an experienced and versatile Senior Executive Banker with a proven track record of success (who lists "travelling [sic], cooking and community work" as his interests") i.e., the "special administrator" just announced by the Cyprus Central Bank to implement last night's announced wind-down of the second largest Cyprus bank, Laiki (which supposedly was the primary money laundering conduit for wealthy Russians and other oligarchs) worked for 25 years in that other titan of alleged global money laundering: HSBC (which has neither admitted nor denied such allegations formally). Because who better to unwind a money laundering operation than one who has (allegedly) two and a half decades of experience winding one.

 

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Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:18 | 3372638 RacerX
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"Useful Idiot" comes to mind.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:19 | 3372643 idea_hamster
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v

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:19 | 3372649 redpill
redpill's picture

So this guy was elected, right?

 

lol.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:30 | 3372714 BaBaBouy
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Mainstream Media Carries NONE Of These "Details"...

This Whole Thing Is A Fucking Scam ...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:39 | 3372743 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Has The Whole Of Europe Morphed Into A MEGA Money-Laundering Operation ???????????????

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:41 | 3372775 cifo
cifo's picture

Right, hire a thief to improve security.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:48 | 3372809 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Join us, bitchez and gentleniggas, for the Tour de Farce 2013. It's gonna be off the hook. Who's gonna fuck over who? Which nation will eat shit first? How many people will starve and die? Sit tight and stay tuned for. Tour. De. Farce.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:55 | 3372845 flacon
flacon's picture

"Excellent people skills". LOL! Hahahhahahahah! Ohhhh hahhahahah! I need to stab myself in the eye to stop laughing!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:13 | 3372949 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Is "doping" allowed or not?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:46 | 3372799 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

No, just the veneer has worn away...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:38 | 3372758 Skateboarder
Skateboarder's picture

Gal... not that it matters what gender you are when you are a gut-sucking vulture.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:20 | 3372665 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

Are you kidding?  With all that HSBC experience, he knows EXACTLY how to LAUNDER it ALL!

ALL the kronies will get their cash; and ALL the muppets will get f'ked.

FTM[uppet]FW!

[BTW -- what's up with the posting mechanism?]

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:29 | 3372704 redpill
redpill's picture

Once your post gets replied to you can no longer edit it.  So I wouldn't bother trying to make place holder posts.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:32 | 3372721 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

how a single shot has not been fired toward a banker is mind numbing 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:50 | 3373177 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

What the fuck is corporate social responsibility??

Where the fuck is the four year MBA??? ( not that it makes a shit )..

 

From a brainless treasurer to this....  LOL!!!!

Indeed.. 

I think i am going to run, er, drive over to the bank.

 

This is all i need to see right here. 

 

It's going to become painfully obvious here pretty soon that not one of these so called educated financial geniuses actually HAVE the proper training let alone ability.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:32 | 3372722 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

An ability to absorb massivee amounts of Polonium 210 and still complete my tasks.........

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 14:24 | 3373386 GOLDTRADERRR
GOLDTRADERRR's picture

The headline says: "Ms. Antoniades", but in the body of the paragraph below is says: "his".

Is this a chick or a dude?

Either way, that resume is packed so full of the usual bullshit credits that mean absolutely nothing that it might as well just have said, " I'm a kiss ass to the elites and will do anything you want me to for a dollar or a Euro, or a bitcoin."

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:19 | 3372641 Legolas
Legolas's picture

Dead man walking?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:21 | 3372668 Cursive
Cursive's picture

Yeah, I was thinking, "Hmmm, he's going to enjoy all of his future community work projects."

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:19 | 3372646 q99x2
q99x2's picture

DHS purchased another hollow point for each and every American citizen. Banksters about to start the killing.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:18 | 3372647 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Charlie Sheen for drug czar.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:20 | 3372658 Benedict Farse
Benedict Farse's picture

"Computer Skills: MS Office." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:22 | 3372673 Grimbert
Grimbert's picture

They speak British English in Cyprus, so Travelling is the correct spelling, or have I missed the point?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:29 | 3372708 Alea Iactaest
Alea Iactaest's picture

Agreed, does not deserve [sic].

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:25 | 3372682 Antifederalist
Antifederalist's picture

Tylers...........this is fabulous.  Not sure how you got this but nonetheless,  fabulous.

Wikileaks has nothing on ZH.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:27 | 3372690 Never One Roach
Never One Roach's picture

Confiscate the residential property is next for collateralizing the banks. Either thru exhorbitant taxation or outright....Just wait and see....

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:27 | 3372692 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I don't think that the Monty Python script writers could put together a piece more ridiculous than what we are witnessing right now.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:12 | 3372729 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Ministry of silly bank regulators ?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 23:11 | 3375525 natty light
natty light's picture

OK I am putting this up

The Money Programme

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:35 | 3372739 Pairadimes
Pairadimes's picture

Training in corporate social responsibility. LOL.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:35 | 3372747 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Do you think 'Boris' will send him a friendly email or drop by in the middle of the night for a little conversation?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:42 | 3372784 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Don't tell me there is more than one!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:36 | 3372749 crito
crito's picture

i'm gonna give her a call....

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:27 | 3373030 machineh
machineh's picture

Ms. Antoniades should get on well with the IMF's man on the job, the rock-jawed Mr Lagarde.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:38 | 3373112 Pseudo Anonym
Pseudo Anonym's picture

that depends if lagarde and antoniades share the same interests (travelling, cooking and community work).  i wonder if "cooking" is in banksteri language the code word for "cooking books".

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:42 | 3372782 Grimbert
Grimbert's picture

Has he just changed sex?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:42 | 3372785 firstdivision
firstdivision's picture

Peter North could liquidfy the banks in less than a day.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:43 | 3372791 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Yes! These crooks are better than a Swiss watch Rolex, better than Timex, they keep on ticking and take a lickin'...and lets not forget the important fact! ...getting recycled into global position situations (the new GPS ) to keep the Ponz alive.

Well, not everything ticks, that goes BOOMyah in the night!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:48 | 3372812 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Wasn't HSBC the bank that likes to say 'Yes'? 

OK it wasn't, it was TSB, back in the 1980s, but HSBC should really buy the rights to the slogan.

 

...after all, they just can't seem to say no when it comes to dirty washing...especially Burrito stained washing...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:49 | 3372818 Byte Me
Byte Me's picture

As soon as I saw HSBC I thought "We're saved!"

At least it ain't BCCI

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:50 | 3372825 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

The Corporate Social Responsibility course and community work should come in handy at the soup kitchen

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:53 | 3372834 surfsup
surfsup's picture

What is Corporate Social Responsiblity?   Corporaitons are responsible to one thing but "manage" an image potrarying yet another so she learned to primp things...  Gresham's Law says if a corporation truly did invite such "social responsiblity" it would get eaten by its competators...  

Would love to see her email in box in a couple days as it has been made public here on ZH

 

Funny that once the main stream puts these stories to bed ZH just gets started!   Bwaaaaaaa haaaaaaa

 

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:55 | 3372855 Tuffmug
Tuffmug's picture

"Ms. Antoniades: The Woman Liquidating Cyprus' Banks"   --- " (who lists "travelling [sic], cooking and community work" as his interests") "

Tyler.

Are you trying indirectly to tell us that Ms. Antoniades is a MAN?, WOMAN?, TRANSEXUAL?, TRANSVESTITE?, TRANSEXUAL?, or HERMAPHRODITE?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:23 | 3373007 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Probably a hermaphrodite given that Cyprus is the birthplace of Aphrodite (Venus).

People should not be shocked by such revelations. After all, did anyone think that key people would be drawn from the Salvation Army?

In any case I half expect news that some banker will meet an unfortunate ending sooner or later. Russians are not polite when it comes to squaring the account.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:57 | 3372864 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

The depositors are in good hands  lool.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:59 | 3372870 jmcadg
Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:59 | 3372873 Kiss My Iceland...
Kiss My Icelandic Ass's picture

re: "travelling [sic]" ...

 

"travelling" is the correct British spelling. "traveling" is the American spelling.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:00 | 3372877 jmcadg
jmcadg's picture

How the fuck did she get the job with a CV so badly written and presented. Mmmmmmmmm!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:04 | 3372904 tempo
tempo's picture

Degree in "Corporate Social Responsibility". Ya, i.e. financial rape". This is soooo sad and serious.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:35 | 3373090 Uncle Zuzu
Uncle Zuzu's picture

Yo Tylers

Travelling is the form used in England.  Not every English speaker in the world is from Podunk Iowa.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:42 | 3373127 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

"In Russia you don't liquidate bank. Bank liquidates you!"

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:47 | 3373131 IamtheREALmario
IamtheREALmario's picture

HSBC? Fluent in money laundering, so she will do well for both the ECB and the Russian ex-KGB types. I wonder how she is going to explain her qualifications to them.

Most important question of all and will tell us how she got to be the "appointed director": "Who's her daddy?"

Interesting that she lists her experience all the way back to 1985, but says nothing about her schooling or what she did between 1979 when she should have gotten her undergrad degree and 1985.

Or, is she just another Erin Callan (useful idiot), as someone above says?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:42 | 3373132 Stud Duck
Stud Duck's picture

Damn, every commentor on this little tid bit of a article has "new" in front of their monikor. Is ZH getting that many new people??

Oh, I know, the older ones are getting packed off to some black hole of a dungeon by Homeland Security, I get it, carry on!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:44 | 3373141 Stud Duck
Stud Duck's picture

Hey I not new!!!  But that ok, I ma still commenting!

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:45 | 3373150 Kiss My Iceland...
Kiss My Icelandic Ass's picture

Ah, the talented Ms. Antoniades ...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:52 | 3373190 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

True.

In Texas it's 'gittin round'.

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