Merkel "Very Happy", Russian PM Furious: "The Stealing Of What Has Already Been Stolen Continues"

Tyler Durden's picture


First, it is Merkel's turn, which last week was furious at Cyprus for daring to reject the first flawed Eurogroup plan impairing insured depositors, only to praise it for now... rejecting said plan. To wit: Chancellor Angela Merkel, "as well as the government, is very happy that the troika, the euro group and Cyprus were able to reach an agreement," German government spokesman Steffen Seibert says in Berlin. He added that difficulties will arise in the short term because of measures aimed to scale back Cyprus’s banking sector, "but in the long run it will lead to a healthier” industry. That remains to be seen, especially when factoring in the Russian response.

Which wont be pleasant.

The official Russian line is one of a typical professional chess player - calm, cool, collected: Russia doesn’t see need to take any additional steps now, may still agree to restructure loan, First Deputy Prime Minister Igor Shuvalov told reporters earlier. Shuvalov, unlike Merkel and ECB's Mersch who sees nothing but green shoots (literally) everywhere in Europe, said that Russia is concerned Cyprus crisis may have negative effect on euro. The deputy PM says that he has no estimate for Russian losses in Cyprus but added that Russian money in Cyprus is "legal."

The unofficial line comes from former president, and current PM and Putin mouthpiece,Dmitry Medvedev. From Reuters:

Moscow reacted with anger on Monday to a European Union bailout of Cyprus that will result in heavy losses for foreign depositors at the Mediterranean island's banks, many of which are Russian.


"The stealing of what has already been stolen continues," Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev was quoted by news agencies as telling a meeting of government officials.


Russia turned down desperate appeals for financial aid last week from the Cypriot government and the final bailout was likely to be more painful for its depositors than an initial rescue plan rejected by the Cypriot parliament.


Speaking after the meeting, First Deputy Prime Minister Igor Shuvalov said losses to Russian investors in Cyprus were not yet clear.


He also said that the Cypriot unit of state-controlled VTB, Russian Commercial Bank, would not be affected by measures taken by the government.


"What is happening is a good signal to those who plan to move their capital to ... Russian banks," he was quoted as saying. "We have very stable banks."


Russians are believed to account for most of the 19 billion euros of non-EU, non-bank money held in Cypriot banks at the last count by the central bank in January. Of 38 billion euros in deposits from banks, 13 billion came from outside the EU.

In other news, we are closing our Belgian Caterer 3x long ETF, and opening a new 3x levered ETF in Belgian Bodyguards and Polonium 210 "tasters." We expect it to hit our price target of "more" shortly.

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Mon, 03/25/2013 - 07:50 | 3371515 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

tail risks

and those who are associated with tailrisk organizations

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 07:59 | 3371543 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

They just hit the gold market....must appear risk is gone in order to ramp the stock market.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:16 | 3371578 fomcy
fomcy's picture

And why is the Heck GOLD is down? Because Cyprus Pention funds and bank accounts over 100k were literally confiscated?  Those account will lose at least

30% but this is not all, they wont give any money back for a long time. This could take years. Is that's why market so happy about? Market should tank 1000

points instead. And GOLD down another complete absurd.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:19 | 3371586 TrumpXVI
TrumpXVI's picture

Remember that gold has a recent history of getting beat down hard just ahead of the Monday open.  May very well have nothing to do with Cyprus...the timing would suggest to me that it doesn't.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:39 | 3371650 flacon
flacon's picture

Gold options expiry today. 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:55 | 3371738 CH1
CH1's picture

Maybe people are dumping their ETFs, in the wake of ABN Amro?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:57 | 3371747 YBNguy
YBNguy's picture

Is the Russian war ship still imbound?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 09:07 | 3371792 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

The Ruskies will have to stand in line, and wait their turn. 

This is the Med.

Long piano wire.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:49 | 3372470 eurogold
eurogold's picture

The Russians had their chance to "step up to the plate" and they didn't take it. Cypriots thought they could continue to swindle the EU.....well too bad it didn't work out for them.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:39 | 3371652 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



The beating down of gold is simply to shake some coins loose from the weak hands so that the CBs can hoard them at sale prices.  No mystery here.  And it will continue and become increasingly intense as the desparate CBs try to ward off the coming tempest.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:45 | 3371684 TrumpXVI
TrumpXVI's picture

Yeah, the CBs.....and little ol' me;-)

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:55 | 3371741 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

It is quite resilient as of late.

Russian oligarch's, and Mississippi lawmakers related to BP gulf spill?


Not so much..

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:41 | 3371663 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Wanna know what a Eurogroup is? "Yet another intelligence failure." it appears this type of failure is contagious as well. Gone...VIRAL (or is it visceral?) as it were.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:21 | 3371596 Popo
Popo's picture

Polonium won't be necessary.   When you control the flow of natural gas to Europe, exacting financial vengeance is simply a pricing issue.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:42 | 3371660 ACP
ACP's picture

Possibly, but a more direct method may be used by the Russian mob, since the pipelines do flow through countries where they can exert their influence to an extent that can't be controlled by Eurozone. Primarily, Belarus and Ukraine. Wouldn't be at all surprised to see some "accidents" happen.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 09:08 | 3371797 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

They will get it back one Mcf at a time.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:22 | 3371598 Cdad
Cdad's picture

In other news slipped in under the radar jammer of Cyprus, dysfunctional US Senate passes a pay raise for themselves, attaches amendments for first budget since 2009 and $1 trillion in additional taxes.  Wal-Mart prepares new emails to read, "Shoppers obviously using invisibility pills."

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:44 | 3371678 exi1ed0ne
exi1ed0ne's picture

It's a BIG tell that the only people left in the market are:

1) Clueless about what is going on (sucker at the black jack table)

2) The very people whom this action benefits (banks, Gov't)

I mean seriously - you can't really draw any conclusions from one of the most manipulated markets in the history of mankind.  It's warm skittles freashly shart from the unicorn, all day every day.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 10:01 | 3371973 comrade rally monkey
comrade rally monkey's picture probkem.take the remaining cash and buy the SPY. Thet cant take thirty % of that.


Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:41 | 3371665 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Adios Eurozone.


Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:45 | 3371681 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

are you leaving us? the door is open, but I never heard of a country called Stoploss   ;-)

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:01 | 3371546 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

Don't expect an immediate response from Russia, some dishes are best when served cold.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:07 | 3371560 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

In New Soviet Europe, everything will be served cold next winter.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 09:26 | 3371879 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

...but..but the climate crisis aka "Global Warming" will save the day? - no?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:17 | 3371582 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Who the fuck would have evr thought I'd fucking side with any Russian on any fucking thing to do with finances. Really, I hope these fuckers fucking start knocking off some of their European fucking opponents with the same zeal and efficiency that they do so within their own fucking borders.

Germany vs. Russia, round 3. Fucking get it on.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:28 | 3371614 aint no fortuna...
aint no fortunate son's picture

One wonders what those little scamps at the CIA were up to the last week or so...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 13:21 | 3372992 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

You could google it.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:54 | 3371731 bernorange
bernorange's picture

"What is happening is a good signal to those who plan to move their capital to ... Russian banks," he was quoted as saying. "We have very stable banks."

Stealing money from depositors in offshore havens appears to be such good business that Russia is now thinking about jumping into it with up to $323B investment:

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 12:48 | 3372814 Mountainview
Mountainview's picture

Never forget,the money was not lost because of Russia but because of Greece and the European "solution" for the Greek problem. Cyprus serves Russian corporates as a tax optimzation platform like many other countries do the same service for US and European corporates.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:17 | 3371584 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

In large parts of Rus, those aren't mutually exclusive.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:28 | 3371618 a growing concern
a growing concern's picture

Ramping up ricin production in 3...2...1...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:49 | 3371698 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Was blogging with a psycologist on another site.

From his experience dealing with victims of sociopaths,there is a delay

of about a month before people react.He thinks banks runs in the next

four weeks in the southern euro tier.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 07:49 | 3371517 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture


Mon, 03/25/2013 - 07:52 | 3371526 short screwed
short screwed's picture

Don't forget to buy a housre either, before they're all gone!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 07:55 | 3371533 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Horse?  It's what's for dinner.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:01 | 3371548 TheLooza
TheLooza's picture

Can't you read? Buy a housre...A HOUSRE, man!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:10 | 3371571 sudzee
sudzee's picture

Well thats a housre of a different colour,
Housreradish, stop housre ing around.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:37 | 3371647 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

trojan housre

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:25 | 3371604 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Its a mobile ho... Nevermind

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:20 | 3371589 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

What? Buy a Mauser?! Okay, gotcha!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 07:50 | 3371518 OpenThePodBayDoorHAL
OpenThePodBayDoorHAL's picture

Malta is next

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 07:52 | 3371524 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

Everyone is next.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:44 | 3371676 defencev
defencev's picture

LOL (all the way to the... BANK).

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 11:13 | 3372283 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

@ zorba


Mon, 03/25/2013 - 08:52 | 3371716 Mister Ponzi
Mister Ponzi's picture

The most likely next candidate is Slovenia with a banking system that's as bankrupt as the ones in Ireland and Cyprus, a permanent recession and a government that has higher borrowing costs than Spain or Italy.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 09:00 | 3371766 machineh
machineh's picture

Few americanos could tell you the difference between Slovenia, Slovakia and sloe gin.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 09:16 | 3371830 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Sloe gin makes me sick. I'm unaffected by the others.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 09:28 | 3371885 treshold
treshold's picture

I hope they go bust separately as to minimize the confusion.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 07:50 | 3371519 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

The Russian deposits were gone soon after they were made. The bank bought Greek bonds.

The money went to keep the Greek Ponzi going. 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 07:56 | 3371534 j0nx
j0nx's picture

Yup, the Russians bailed out Greece and they didn't even know it at the time. Ze Germans are playing a VERY dangerous game here and I'll bet Benny and the inkjets are in it balls deep.

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