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"Two Lips From Amsterdam" Sends Stocks Sliding

Tyler Durden's picture





 

It was so easy. Of course they'd save Cyprus somehow and we could all go back to business as usual - and sure enough that's how we opened, stocks at highs, VIX banging lows, bond yields grabbed higher, but behind the scenes a few things were not playing along (US and EU bank equity and credit for one). 1 point from S&P 500 highs. Then #DieselBoom uttered that word - 'template' - and all was let loose as the realization that risk existed suddenly flooded back into investors' minds. S&P 500 futures dropped over 20 points high to low (with downward volume very heavy), when Jeroen tried to jawbone his statement back we dribbled back up to VWAP but couldn't break it and from there (despite spurious JPY-based headlines once again), risk-on assets drifted to the lows. As carry trades were lifted (and everyone shied away from EUR) so JPY jerked 1.4% higher (and fell back a little into the close) but against every thing else the USD was bid. Treasuries banged back to the low yields of last week and despite USD strength, Oil ended above $94.50 as Copper fell 0.5% and Gold and Silver bounced from an earlier spike lower. VIX opened under 12.5%, soared back over 14.5%, and closed +0.25vols at 13.8%. Meanwhile, the big banks in the US are -7% from Cyprus and still expensive to credit.

 

S&P 500 futures were not buying Dijsselblom's retraction... though they end the day better than we might have seen as the magical levitation to VWAP at the close helped...

 

which saw the S&P only test up to its downside channel and not break it...trend is your friend (and its ending)...

 

And broad US equity markets appear to be a little more concerned about Europe/Cyprus than we were all told last week...

 

As Financials are battered...

 

But remain notably rich still to credit...

 

FX markets were very active today (as we noted earlier Russian Rubles seemed in big demand)... with USD dragged notably higher on EUR weakness...

 

as the Ruble soared 1% against the EUR...

 

Commodities were very spikey today (Oil spiked up and Gold/Silver spiked down) but all closed well relative to the USD strength...

 

Cross-asset-class correlation was very high as risk was definitely off today. As Capital Context's CONTEXT model (right hand side) signals, the selling today was very systemic...

 

Charts: Bloomberg and Capital Context

 


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Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:10 | Link to Comment Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

yeah he definitely now be known as the Lying Dutchman

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:21 | Link to Comment Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

Just a template in a teapot.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:11 | Link to Comment lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

In the future, remind dieselboom, if we want any of his lip we will collectively rattle our zippers :)

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:11 | Link to Comment Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Ahh yes the great two-lips mania of 2013

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:17 | Link to Comment WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

All of your Two-Lips deposits are belong to us .......Bitchez!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:15 | Link to Comment mdtrader
mdtrader's picture

Another BS late ramp into close. Hope they wake up  to a 1.27 handle on the EUR/USD.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:12 | Link to Comment q99x2
q99x2's picture

And Max and Stacy are too hung over after celebrating their BitCoin profits to fix their Word Press page.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:42 | Link to Comment Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I get this all day - Fatal error: fatal flex scanner internal error--end of buffer missed in /home/stacyps/www.maxkeiser.com/wp-content/themes/coraline/header.php on line 116

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:19 | Link to Comment ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

2 hits from an Amsterdam hash pipe make my lips slip too...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:25 | Link to Comment Razor33
Razor33's picture

FUCK the Bankers!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:55 | Link to Comment unununium
unununium's picture

They are quite busy fucking you already

"How the nation's biggest banks use the little-covered House Agriculture Committee to gut regulations"

http://www.salon.com/2013/03/20/j_p_morgan_is_not_a_farmer

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:26 | Link to Comment debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

2 lips from Amsterdam is gonna love you long time bitchez.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:36 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

is 2 lips from amsterdam the new HOTLIPS from MASH, the naive agent of frenzy on GI island of mortal ennui and mindless slaughter...we are in the same hilarious and frightening scenario of grand project of economic war gone virally regressive. 

Get out your golf clubs and go play at hookee instead of having your guts blown out.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:51 | Link to Comment debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

ZH is my hedge. I'm dutch, so recently i switched from pm's to canned bread. Carrying fire arms is forbidden, so i guess i need my golf clubs to defend myself. Big fat piles of shit are on their way, i know... thanks.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:58 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Canned bread ?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:12 | Link to Comment Dugald
Dugald's picture

 Really? have not seen canned bread in over thirty years, along with whole canned chook,  both were great to have on board on long cruises.....happy days.....

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:19 | Link to Comment debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Yes, you can stash it for a few years. You know, btfd.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:03 | Link to Comment ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

Looks like one landed on and covered your avatar. che morte!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:20 | Link to Comment debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Che Grillo.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 08:02 | Link to Comment Tango in the Blight
Tango in the Blight's picture

Carrying fire arms is forbidden but that doesn't stop every second Winston or Ali from packing heat in the bigger Dutch cities.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:30 | Link to Comment JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

Great pun

 

Here's Max Bygraves' version from a bygone era:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ors-eZeeJ0U

 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:43 | Link to Comment Kiss My Iceland...
Kiss My Icelandic Ass's picture

What is it about two lips and market crashes ?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:05 | Link to Comment Agent P
Agent P's picture

The music always sounds better when I have roses on my piano and tulips on my organ.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 18:22 | Link to Comment Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

Tiptoe through The Tulips (hopefully better)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxFOOEOlBF8 (1:51)

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:52 | Link to Comment Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

D-Boom better stop flappin' those chicken lips..... he'll be sleeping under a pile of toolips very soon.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:58 | Link to Comment bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

Its time to buy one year of food, at a minimum.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:10 | Link to Comment EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

How annoying.  Could've been a trader's dream, but I was in hesitation mode all day, missing the opening push, then the lovely 10:15 rollover that went on forever, with me watching from the sidelines.  Finally, I did some nickel and dime countertrend trades, but got out minutes before Dutch-Boy took back his can of red paint, and missed the yo-yo ramp, as well as the obvious 2:00 spike short entry.  Ah, well, I guess I'll put the $64 I earned from staring at blips all day into the bank, where it'll be nice and safe and earn a fair return . . .

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:17 | Link to Comment CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

'Two Lips' aka, 'Deep Throat.'

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:27 | Link to Comment Joe A
Joe A's picture

His naive honestly is actually quite refreshing after Juncker's "when it gets serious you need to lie". Let's see how his honesty lasts.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 18:40 | Link to Comment HpDeskjet
HpDeskjet's picture

He just had an interview on Dutch TV, quite refreshing as well... The guy is smart, not brainwashed by banksters, wants to put the pain where it should be taken and if this costs some non-productive financial jobs and undeserved bonuses, so be it.... When will the US (and UK and Japan and ...) start to do the only thing that should be done to end this endless and pointless series of bail-out and can-kicking bullshit that put stocks (and food stamps) at an all-time high?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 18:41 | Link to Comment HpDeskjet
HpDeskjet's picture

.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 19:30 | Link to Comment NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Reminds me of the old schoolboy joke:

 

What beats having roses on your piano?

Having tu-lips on your organ.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 20:10 | Link to Comment Tunga
Tunga's picture

May you live in retarded times. - No one in particular 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 20:24 | Link to Comment AynRandFan
AynRandFan's picture

There is an adage that "good facts make bad law", meaning that courts are tempted to find a just outcome in a particular case, only to struggle with the legal precedent for decades later. In the following article, the author makes a similar point, calling Cyprus the EU's Lehman.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/comment/rogerbootle/9951487/Cyprus-cr...

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 02:05 | Link to Comment serema
serema's picture

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