• BullionStar
    05/30/2016 - 21:24
    The US Gold Market is best known as the home of gold futures trading on the COMEX in New York. The COMEX has a literal monopoly on gold futures trading volumes worldwide, but very little physical...

"Two Lips From Amsterdam" Sends Stocks Sliding

Tyler Durden's picture


It was so easy. Of course they'd save Cyprus somehow and we could all go back to business as usual - and sure enough that's how we opened, stocks at highs, VIX banging lows, bond yields grabbed higher, but behind the scenes a few things were not playing along (US and EU bank equity and credit for one). 1 point from S&P 500 highs. Then #DieselBoom uttered that word - 'template' - and all was let loose as the realization that risk existed suddenly flooded back into investors' minds. S&P 500 futures dropped over 20 points high to low (with downward volume very heavy), when Jeroen tried to jawbone his statement back we dribbled back up to VWAP but couldn't break it and from there (despite spurious JPY-based headlines once again), risk-on assets drifted to the lows. As carry trades were lifted (and everyone shied away from EUR) so JPY jerked 1.4% higher (and fell back a little into the close) but against every thing else the USD was bid. Treasuries banged back to the low yields of last week and despite USD strength, Oil ended above $94.50 as Copper fell 0.5% and Gold and Silver bounced from an earlier spike lower. VIX opened under 12.5%, soared back over 14.5%, and closed +0.25vols at 13.8%. Meanwhile, the big banks in the US are -7% from Cyprus and still expensive to credit.


S&P 500 futures were not buying Dijsselblom's retraction... though they end the day better than we might have seen as the magical levitation to VWAP at the close helped...


which saw the S&P only test up to its downside channel and not break it...trend is your friend (and its ending)...


And broad US equity markets appear to be a little more concerned about Europe/Cyprus than we were all told last week...


As Financials are battered...


But remain notably rich still to credit...


FX markets were very active today (as we noted earlier Russian Rubles seemed in big demand)... with USD dragged notably higher on EUR weakness...


as the Ruble soared 1% against the EUR...


Commodities were very spikey today (Oil spiked up and Gold/Silver spiked down) but all closed well relative to the USD strength...


Cross-asset-class correlation was very high as risk was definitely off today. As Capital Context's CONTEXT model (right hand side) signals, the selling today was very systemic...


Charts: Bloomberg and Capital Context

Your rating: None

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Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:10 | 3373964 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

yeah he definitely now be known as the Lying Dutchman

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:21 | 3374008 Mae Kadoodie
Mae Kadoodie's picture

Just a template in a teapot.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:11 | 3373971 lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

In the future, remind dieselboom, if we want any of his lip we will collectively rattle our zippers :)

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:11 | 3373973 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Ahh yes the great two-lips mania of 2013

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:17 | 3373998 WhyDoesItHurtWh...
WhyDoesItHurtWhen iPee's picture

All of your Two-Lips deposits are belong to us .......Bitchez!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:15 | 3373974 mdtrader
mdtrader's picture

Another BS late ramp into close. Hope they wake up  to a 1.27 handle on the EUR/USD.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:12 | 3373977 q99x2
q99x2's picture

And Max and Stacy are too hung over after celebrating their BitCoin profits to fix their Word Press page.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:42 | 3374064 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I get this all day - Fatal error: fatal flex scanner internal error--end of buffer missed in /home/stacyps/www.maxkeiser.com/wp-content/themes/coraline/header.php on line 116

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:19 | 3374000 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

2 hits from an Amsterdam hash pipe make my lips slip too...

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:25 | 3374023 Razor33
Razor33's picture

FUCK the Bankers!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:55 | 3374099 unununium
unununium's picture

They are quite busy fucking you already

"How the nation's biggest banks use the little-covered House Agriculture Committee to gut regulations"


Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:26 | 3374024 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

2 lips from Amsterdam is gonna love you long time bitchez.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:36 | 3374051 falak pema
falak pema's picture

is 2 lips from amsterdam the new HOTLIPS from MASH, the naive agent of frenzy on GI island of mortal ennui and mindless slaughter...we are in the same hilarious and frightening scenario of grand project of economic war gone virally regressive. 

Get out your golf clubs and go play at hookee instead of having your guts blown out.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:51 | 3374087 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

ZH is my hedge. I'm dutch, so recently i switched from pm's to canned bread. Carrying fire arms is forbidden, so i guess i need my golf clubs to defend myself. Big fat piles of shit are on their way, i know... thanks.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:58 | 3374105 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Canned bread ?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:12 | 3374148 Dugald
Dugald's picture

 Really? have not seen canned bread in over thirty years, along with whole canned chook,  both were great to have on board on long cruises.....happy days.....

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:19 | 3374192 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Yes, you can stash it for a few years. You know, btfd.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:03 | 3374119 ceilidh_trail
ceilidh_trail's picture

Looks like one landed on and covered your avatar. che morte!

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:20 | 3374197 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Che Grillo.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 08:02 | 3376060 Tango in the Blight
Tango in the Blight's picture

Carrying fire arms is forbidden but that doesn't stop every second Winston or Ali from packing heat in the bigger Dutch cities.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:30 | 3374036 JenkinsLane
JenkinsLane's picture

Great pun


Here's Max Bygraves' version from a bygone era:



Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:43 | 3374066 Kiss My Iceland...
Kiss My Icelandic Ass's picture

What is it about two lips and market crashes ?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:05 | 3374125 Agent P
Agent P's picture

The music always sounds better when I have roses on my piano and tulips on my organ.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 18:22 | 3374426 Goldilocks
Goldilocks's picture

Tiptoe through The Tulips (hopefully better)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxFOOEOlBF8 (1:51)

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:52 | 3374090 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

D-Boom better stop flappin' those chicken lips..... he'll be sleeping under a pile of toolips very soon.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 16:58 | 3374106 bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

Its time to buy one year of food, at a minimum.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:10 | 3374142 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

How annoying.  Could've been a trader's dream, but I was in hesitation mode all day, missing the opening push, then the lovely 10:15 rollover that went on forever, with me watching from the sidelines.  Finally, I did some nickel and dime countertrend trades, but got out minutes before Dutch-Boy took back his can of red paint, and missed the yo-yo ramp, as well as the obvious 2:00 spike short entry.  Ah, well, I guess I'll put the $64 I earned from staring at blips all day into the bank, where it'll be nice and safe and earn a fair return . . .

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:17 | 3374178 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

'Two Lips' aka, 'Deep Throat.'

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 17:27 | 3374230 Joe A
Joe A's picture

His naive honestly is actually quite refreshing after Juncker's "when it gets serious you need to lie". Let's see how his honesty lasts.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 18:40 | 3374489 HpDeskjet
HpDeskjet's picture

He just had an interview on Dutch TV, quite refreshing as well... The guy is smart, not brainwashed by banksters, wants to put the pain where it should be taken and if this costs some non-productive financial jobs and undeserved bonuses, so be it.... When will the US (and UK and Japan and ...) start to do the only thing that should be done to end this endless and pointless series of bail-out and can-kicking bullshit that put stocks (and food stamps) at an all-time high?

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 18:41 | 3374490 HpDeskjet
HpDeskjet's picture


Mon, 03/25/2013 - 19:30 | 3374627 NuYawkFrankie
NuYawkFrankie's picture

Reminds me of the old schoolboy joke:


What beats having roses on your piano?

Having tu-lips on your organ.

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 20:10 | 3374838 Tunga
Tunga's picture

May you live in retarded times. - No one in particular 

Mon, 03/25/2013 - 20:24 | 3374890 AynRandFan
AynRandFan's picture

There is an adage that "good facts make bad law", meaning that courts are tempted to find a just outcome in a particular case, only to struggle with the legal precedent for decades later. In the following article, the author makes a similar point, calling Cyprus the EU's Lehman.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 02:05 | 3375740 serema
serema's picture

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