• Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.
  • Tim Knight from...
    04/28/2016 - 00:27
    I was expecting a few boring candidate statements of the U.S. Senate - AKA the World's Most Exclusive Club - but, boy, was I wrong. Just take a look at some of these gems.

Russian Withdrawals Quantified As Cyprus Central Bank Set To Expand Emergency Credit By Up To €3 Billion

Tyler Durden's picture




 

When we reported yesterday that over the past week, the Russian depositors in Cypriot banks had managed to find loopholes through which to pull out billions in supposedly halted deposits (courtesy of bank shutdowns and capital controls) some, accurately, balked: if that were the case the Cyprus Centeral Bank would need a proportionate increase in emergency funding from the ECB (in the form of ELA) to make up for the deposit outflows. Which is why moments ago Welt reported precisely what we had been expecting to read all morning: the Cyprus Central Bank is about to demand even more cash from the ECB to plug the holes left from the stealthy Russian outflows.

  • CYPRUS CENTRAL BANK PLANS EXPANDING EMERGENCY CREDIT: WELT
  • CYPRUS PLANS EXPANDING EMERGENCY CREDIT BY EU2.5B-EU3B: WELT
  • DIE WELT CITES UNIDENTIFIED PERSONS FAMILIAR WITH THE MATTER

Remember: this is just a feeler by the Cyprus Central Bank in direction Frankfurt - the last thing Cyprus wants is to expose just how big the full liquidity hole is resulting from the stealthy Russian deposit outflows. We expect when all is said and done, the full incremental bailout needs to rise in the double digits.

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Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:35 | 3376660 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

There can be no bailout big enough to cover the hole in these balance sheets and in this story.

Give it up you fuckers!

Lying sacks of shit.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:35 | 3376669 whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

Please be patient while we make up more lies to cover the truth.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:38 | 3376678 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

The Bernake can print that in less then an hour. He's got this.

Continue the rally people, the voice is on tonight!

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:39 | 3376695 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Uhh, yeah, Angie, we're going to need about another 30B to cover the ruskies departure.

Will update you later on ebbody else..

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:41 | 3376716 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

That'll leave a welt.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:45 | 3376749 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

This bitch is going to be a slow bleeder

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:51 | 3376766 flacon
flacon's picture

Money money, money, muss lustig sein, in eines reichen Mannes Welt.

(Money money, money, must be funny, in a rich man's world.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETxmCCsMoD0

 

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:51 | 3376804 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Nobody could have seen this coming. Nobody among TPTB at least.

We here at ZH know this stuff days in advance. Now we just have to figure out how to make a little fiat off of each piece of knowledge and then we can own all the PMs!!!

Hey TPTB, all your gold and silver are belong to ZH.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 11:14 | 3377006 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

"Give it up you fuckers!

Lying sacks of shit."

Wow..., MsCreant, you've changed.  ;-)

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 11:38 | 3377200 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Even those of us who claim to have our eyes wide open have clung to some small hope that the insanity would abate and the worst of our fears would not be realized.

That hope is beginning to fade fast.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 11:40 | 3377223 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

Amen, brother!

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 11:47 | 3377246 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I have bouts of primal anger that sits deep in my stomach. It is a bitter pill to swallow........let alone digest. Sometimes I must force myself to be calm, to understand that there are some things I cannot control.

However I do not need to be a victim and that understanding begins deep within. I just need to remind myself of this.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 12:53 | 3377610 Big Slick
Big Slick's picture

Gold busts through 1599.  I KEEP STACKING!

THANK YOU MR. BERNANKE!!!

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:41 | 3376718 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

I wanna see the fireworks already!

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 12:08 | 3377388 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

I keep wondering why serial killers don't make more productive use of their homocidal tendencies than killing innocent strangers in malls and theatres.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 13:59 | 3377905 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

You mean, why they don't "up" their skill level and go after less innocent and more challenging targets in finance and politics? 

Note that even Hanibal Lecter did not go after the innocents, but went after the truly depraved and debauched.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:41 | 3376719 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

I'm thinking this is the start of the Black Hole of Banking. It will eventually collapse in on itself in order to 'plug the hole' but the size and speed of the collapse will create the Event Horizon from which no deposits can escape...

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:46 | 3376760 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

I disagree, break some windows, save the world

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:58 | 3376874 forrestdweller
forrestdweller's picture

a warhole

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 13:00 | 3377653 deKevelioc
deKevelioc's picture

EUR30 at a time.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:44 | 3376737 redpill
redpill's picture

I like how they continue to pretend that there will be anything left of any of these banks by the time this is done. Everyone is going to pull their shit out as fast as possible, insured or not. How does a bank pay back billions in "emergency liquidity" when they have no depositors left?

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:54 | 3376827 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

cyprus is F***ed. the moment those doors open the accounts will empty. Bank Runs dont end after you take 40% of the peoples money. The people will want to pullout the last 60% and hide it in a tin can in the backyard.

anyone who leaves any money in those banks after this are retarted and should starve to death

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 11:45 | 3377254 pods
pods's picture

Yep, I dont care how many times they fuck, they ain't getting their virginity back.

pods

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 16:53 | 3378879 Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

The internet is a wonderful thing. The transfer of money cannot be stopped for payment of things ordered over it. One genuine hand painted Russian Babushka doll cir 1870 was brought for an insane amount under auction. Now I have both the doll and the money. Go figure how completly stupid this thing is. Thank you Fleabay / paypal your fee was most laughable compaired to the real thiefs

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 14:14 | 3377989 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Never  mind the Russian depositors' withdrawals... How about the UK depositors' withdrawal from Cyrpus Banks?  Recall from ZH article a couple/few days ago, showing the deposits and withdrawals in a plot.

So, since I don't easily distract with side-shows for the masses, can we shine the spot light on the "UK story" also?  Tyler?

/The rest of you, please feel free to return to Dr. Pavlov's Canine Show in progress. /s

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:40 | 3376705 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

The Bernan Key = control P(rint)

Paper the lies with more paper lies! Quick! Let's all form a pyramid. It will look solid and they will either buy in or go away.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:47 | 3376768 zdk45
zdk45's picture

there's something to that...The "Bernan Key"...or how about 'The Burnin' Key' ....ahhhh, I look forward to laughing about all of this after all the money is gone and wwIII is over...good times...good times...

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 11:06 | 3376937 SubjectivObject
SubjectivObject's picture

This pyramid you speak of, .... Is it oriented .... point up, or point down????

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 20:30 | 3379636 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Which direction hurtz the most?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 00:36 | 3380223 Moonrajah
Moonrajah's picture

Bernan Key?

 

Make that Bear Nun Key, and then you're on to something.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:38 | 3376686 knukles
knukles's picture

Not all peasants are equal

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:42 | 3376723 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Just make sure you don't invest in gold.......CNBS just did their morning hit piece on gold and let you know how stupid gold investors are.....hehehehe

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 11:24 | 3377107 BennyBoy
BennyBoy's picture

The ECB is allowing the russian billionaire peasants to take their money out of Cyprus thru foreign branches so Mother Russia doesn't cut off oil and gas to Europe next winter.

Financial politics are fun for everyone!

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 14:05 | 3377940 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

100% correct.  But you need to have a large enough account, to get that kind of access/services.  The common man needs to spread their wealth across various banks in various places/countries, and keep enough cash at home.  Which is totally foreign to Americans, who are brainwashed to use plastic and ATMs.  Like sheep to a slaughter...

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:39 | 3376700 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

The London branches of Laiki and Bank of Cyprus never closed. If fact they allowed unlimited withdrawals during the bank holiday.
From Reuters:
EU negotiators knew something was wrong when the Central Bank of Cyprus requested more banknotes from the European Central Bank than the withdrawals it was reporting to Frankfurt implied were needed, an EU source familiar with the process said. "The amount the Cypriots mentioned... on a daily basis was much less than it was in reality," the source said.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:40 | 3376710 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Are they still open now? That would be hysterical.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:45 | 3376750 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

This is on the front page of the Bank of Cyprus UK website:

There is no effect on deposits with Bank of Cyprus UK Limited which is a UK bank.

http://www.bankofcyprus.co.uk/

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:47 | 3376770 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

If they are still open I want to go and deposit some money and watch the tellers head explode.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:48 | 3376777 Gief Gold Plox
Gief Gold Plox's picture

I'd pay to see that.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:50 | 3376786 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

That is funny. +1
And in more developments:

@BBCWorld : Bank of Cyprus employees outside own HQ - "We haven't got a clue what's going on. No one has told us anything" - via @_ChrisMorris 43 minutes ago

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:56 | 3376847 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

Ill give you a hint Mr. employee.... your out of a job in 1 week.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:46 | 3376758 Mercury
Mercury's picture

How do you say:

Give me my money unless you want to glow in the dark as you slowly die!

in Russian?

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:53 | 3376828 Shevva
Shevva's picture

Why waste time just send a photo of the wife picking up the kids of a bwanker with a withdrawal slip to empty your account.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 11:48 | 3377271 pods
pods's picture

I think that is why they left the back door open; probably sent them instructions on how to move it too.

pods

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 12:17 | 3377429 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

I'm not so sure, if they knew where to watch then Schauble would have had a more realistic number over the weekend that reflected COB Friday balances...

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 12:08 | 3377385 inevitablecollapse
inevitablecollapse's picture

????? ??? ????? ???? ?? ?????? ?????????? ? ??????? ??? ?? ???????? ???????! ? ??????

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 20:31 | 3379649 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

No answers here, only questions! :>D

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:51 | 3376796 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

 

"From Reuters:"

 

No one knows exactly how much money has left Cyprus' banks, or where it has gone. The two banks at the centre of the crisis - Cyprus Popular Bank, also known as Laiki, and Bank of Cyprus - have units in London which remained open throughout the week and placed no limits on withdrawals. Bank of Cyprus also owns 80 percent of Russia's Uniastrum Bank, which put no restrictions on withdrawals in Russia. Russians were among Cypriot banks' largest depositors.

 

While ordinary Cypriots queued at ATM machines to withdraw a few hundred euros as credit card transactions stopped, other depositors used an array of techniques to access their money.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:54 | 3376838 HoofHearted
HoofHearted's picture

Arb-i-fucking-trage, bitchez.

I hope many Cypriots had friends in London or in Moscow who could help them.

Fuck the banksters, fuck the Eurocrats.

Tue, 03/26/2013 - 10:53 | 3376822 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

And there are more rich Russian gangsters - I mean oligarchs - in London than in Moscow. Makes sense...

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