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Cyprus Banks Set To Reopen, To Serve As Glorified ATMs With A €300 Cash Withdrawal Limit

Tyler Durden's picture





 

Tomorrow Cyprus banks will reopen sometime around noon (they are supposed to close at 6 pm but likely will close far earlier). What does that mean? Apparently nothing much. Because according ot various newswires the withdrawal limit at all banks will be €300 per day. This means that all those daytrading wannabes who want to get stinking rich and just buy US stocks with "no risk", will be unable to buy even one riskfree (at least until last September) stock of AAPL per day!

In other words, all said "reopening" will do, is to allow physical branches to be used as glorified ATMs but with a very terrified and confused carbon-based teller on the other side (the same ATMs which a few days ago saw their limit reduced from €300 to €120). All other cash transactions will be strictly curbed, virtually no cash will be allowed to exit the island, and the what's more the government will ban the termination of the oh so ironically-named time deposits. This means that time deposits will now become "permanent deposits", even if within the €100,000 insured limit. The good news: credit card treansactions will be permitted when paying for goods and services anywhere on the island. Of course, electronic cash just happens to not be physical cash, which is why the bank is so cavalier with allowing people to access their own money. Well, electronic 1s and 0s-based money.

In other words, tomorrow's bank reopening means absolutely nothing (as ATMs had worked for the duration of the Cyprus bail-in crisis), and anyone who had hoped they could just walk in and withdraw their entire insured deposit up to €100,000 will be severely disappointed. Of course, those who had more than €100,000: Poof, it's gone, step aside please.

Oh well: such is life in the New Normal under capital controls, in which there is a unquantifiable premium for having physical cash over electronic.

Learn from it.

 


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Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:32 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

This is an act of war against the people of Cyprus.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:39 | Link to Comment TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

Come celebrate the Cypriotic post-banking holiday grand re-opening with us!

There will be food, fun & frivolity for all, with clowns (sponsored by G4S), sausages (shoved directly up your asses), fun rides (compliments of horses trampling warm bodies & armored paddy vans), and even late afternoon fireworks (so please leave your own at home)!

{Jingle}

We treat you like fam-i-leee

 

Because that's the big tent EU way

 

So come on down & stew while you queue

 

For some paper fiat & a maybe a nice haircut, too

 

AT YOUR FRIENDLY, LOCAL CYPRUS BANK OF FIAT TRUST!!!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:40 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Confirmed deposit confiscation in Spain and France, as PM Rajoy and Hollande blabber about the safety of deposits as a result of massive outflows from bank accounts:

http://www.thelocal.es/page/view/spanish-pm-says-small-accounts-safe

Spain's Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy and France's President François Hollande on Tuesday said that all accounts holding less than €100,000 were off bounds

 

Bank runs are accelerating!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:00 | Link to Comment ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

I love this quote...

They said the measures taken in Cyprus — where accounts with more €100,000 were raided to help bailout the country's banks —  were "exceptional".

"This is an exceptional and unique case, which is being exceptionally applied to Cyprus," the Spanish prime minister said in the press conference.

Do these guys even think anymore before opening their mouths?

That's just like the Vatican saying sexual molestation of children under 9 is off bounds...

Exceptional job gentlemen... except for the exceptional part.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:02 | Link to Comment macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

Question:

What happened to non-cash deposits in brokerage accounts? Were securities raided?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:33 | Link to Comment dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

were they nailed down?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:52 | Link to Comment HobbyFarmer
HobbyFarmer's picture

Had a lunch outing with about 8 close co-workers.  During a lul in the conversation, I brought up the fact that Cyprus banks have been closed over a week with a haircut announced for depositors and controls in place for withdrawing cash when the banks reopened.

This was followed by a long, awkward pause.  Nobody said anything, nobody had a clue what I was talking about nor (most likely) any idea that Cyrpus was a location and not a celebrity.  The conversation topic that started after I killed it?  Dancing with the stars.

Granted, most of the team that I support are female, but it was like a bad joke from ZH.

Nobody has a clue this is going on.  Nobody in the US (currently) cares.

We are doomed as a country.

I expect to survive quite nicely, however.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:56 | Link to Comment Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

You should never place your money in the hands of bankers.

You should never place your money in the hands of your wife.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 16:40 | Link to Comment Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Mr miffed and I were at a financial advisor meeting my job provided for free. Mr miffed gave them a detailed description of our finances. They turned to me and asked how much I knew about the family financial situation. I told them I give my husband $4000/ month for the privilege sharing his bed and I don't give a rats ass what he does with it. I only require my agreed on gold purchase. Three guys just stared speechless at me. I think the thought they entered the Twilight Zone.

Miffed;-)

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 19:35 | Link to Comment Andre
Andre's picture

+1000

PRICELESS!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 22:16 | Link to Comment Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

The Good Germans.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:51 | Link to Comment Ratscam
Ratscam's picture

not even Cyprus KPMG could answer that today in their summary.

Cyprus Developments A message from KPMG Cyprus
Dear Associates,
As you may be aware, the government of Cyprus and the Eurogroup finally reached an agreement in the early hours of Monday 25 March, for the bailout of the country’s banking sector. The agreement opens the way for Cyprus to sign a Memorandum of Understanding with the Troika (committee led by the European Commission, European Central Bank (‘ECB’) and International Monetary Fund) so as to make the necessary structural and other reforms required to reduce the public debt and improve efficiency within the system.
Although the agreement was widely condemned by experts internationally as being very onerous, particularly as the root cause of the problem was the haircut agreed by the Eurogroup on Greek government bonds in early 2012 (to which the two largest Cyprus banks were heavily exposed), the Cyprus government is confident that the bailout will allow the Cyprus economy to return to growth in the medium and long term.
The main terms of the agreement concern the two largest banks of the island as follows:
• All deposit holders of both Bank of Cyprus, the island’s largest bank, and Laiki Bank, the second largest bank, with balances of up to €100.000 will be fully safeguarded in accordance with the Deposit Guarantee Scheme (Directive 94/14/EC as amended by 2009/14/EC)
• Laiki Bank is to be ‘resolved’ by being separated into a ‘good’ and ‘bad’ bank. All non-performing loans as well as deposits that are not guaranteed (i.e. those above €100.000) will be transferred to this ‘bad’ bank which will carry out its course until it is eventually wound-up. Consequently, depositors with balances over €100.000 will not receive the full value of their deposits, although at this time the extent of the ‘haircut’ they will undertake is not known. The ‘good’ bank will receive all performing loans and deposits up to €100.000 and its operations will be transferred to the Bank of Cyprus where it will continue to operate as normal;
• Bank of Cyprus will be restructured, with large deposit holders (those with balances over €100.000) participating in the recapitalization of the bank by receiving shares in the bank in return for a percentage of their deposits to such an extent (expected to be in the region of 30% - 40%) that will result in a core tier 1 ratio for Bank of Cyprus of 9%;
• The Cyprus government will receive €10 billion which will be used to restructure the Government debt and proceed with implementing a program of structural changes including a privatization program and efficiency drive.
The ECB’s subsequent commitment to allow the Bank of Cyprus to continue to use the Emergency Liquidity Assistance mechanism whilst it implements its restructuring program should provide the bank the time it needs to implement the restructuring measures. This will bring much needed stability back to the market and will eliminate the uncertainty that has existed for some time.
KPMG is committed to working closely with all our clients that may have been affected by the above developments so as to overcome any problems that may have arisen. Special arrangements have been made to ensure that we are up-to-date on all developments and our clients’ needs are continuously presented to Government officials and decision makers. We encourage any clients that have been affected or that simply wish to discuss any matters in light of the above developments to contact one of our Partners or staff who are available to support in any way they can.
The aim of the Eurogroup is for Cyprus to reduce the size of its banking sector, and it is clear that the above measures will achieve this end. Nevertheless, the Cyprus government wishes to send a clear signal that the financial services sector and international business remain the top priority given the importance of this sector to the economy. Only very few measures expected to be applied with the signing of the Memorandum of Understanding will affect the international business sector, the most important of which being the expected increase of corporation tax from 10% to 12,5% and the introduction of a special 10% solidarity fee on passive interest earned from banks in Cyprus (that will be in place for a limited period).
The 2,5% increase in the corporate tax rate is still very competitive compared to other jurisdictions and is not expected to negatively affect international business in Cyprus in any significant way. Cyprus will still have one of the most friendly tax systems in Europe with no taxation imposed on the sale of shares, full participation exemption on dividend income, no withholding tax on dividends, interest and royalties, no thin cap rules, no exit charges, effective tax on royalty income of 2,5%, interest income being taxed only on a thin margin and so many other benefits including the very beneficial shipping regime.
The 10% solidarity fee, if finally introduced, will effectively reduce the current rate of return on deposits but the interest rate on deposits even after this tax is imposed, will remain one of the highest and most attractive among banks in Europe.
The government has committed to ensuring Cyprus remains the most attractive jurisdiction in Europe for international business and the efficiency drive that will be implemented by the new government is expected to further enhance this competitive edge.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:13 | Link to Comment Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

When is is the Eurotrash Media going to finally demonstrate that they aren't a bunch of quota-monkey collaborators and call out their dear leaders when the spout LIES such as: 

"Spain will defend that we agree in June on a system for a European recapitalization of banks and in December for a guarantee for deposits and a single resolution system."

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:31 | Link to Comment Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

and the response from the people....

 

The concert, titled ‘CyprusAID – People for People’ will be held from 4pm until midnight in Nicosia. Around 50 Greek and Cypriot performers will sing without pay. In a statement, the organisers said:

During the last couple of days we have experienced a cold shower, lived through intense emotions and rapid reversals. The only thing we knew for sure was the uncertainty we were facing. This common thread of frustration brought together a group of actors and friends who decided to form an event, reacting against everything that is coming our way. This was drawn from a need. A need to be united, a need for solidarity, a need for a strong, common, and apolitical voice to be heard by the outside world. We want to share a positive message for the future that together we can do better."

 

fuck'em..........

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:34 | Link to Comment pods
pods's picture

Solidarity ends with bare shelves and rumbling stomachs.

pods

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:38 | Link to Comment Tango in the Blight
Tango in the Blight's picture

Might as well give everyone who turns up cyanide-laced KoolAID.

If they're not going to burn banks and hang banksters they are better off dead.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:50 | Link to Comment little buddy bu...
little buddy buys the dips's picture

hang 'em high or die slowly, with chains.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:47 | Link to Comment Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I pray my American cohorts awaken to the reality of our digital currency fractional reserve system and we have bank runs from sea to shining sea. Unfortunately, a girl from some reality show was photographed kissing some girl at a club while wearing lingerie.  Also, some nipples were slipping somewhere and spring training and all.......

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:49 | Link to Comment LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

you had me at lingerie

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:05 | Link to Comment whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

He said nipple.....

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:38 | Link to Comment TruthInSunshine
TruthInSunshine's picture

A dedication to the first of what will be many All Hallowing Out Eves (Halloween is the fractional fiat banksters' favorite pagan holiday):

Radiohead - Codex [From the Basement HD]
Wed, 03/27/2013 - 17:29 | Link to Comment dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

I thought it was April Fools

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:27 | Link to Comment e-recep
e-recep's picture

he said nipple nipple something.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 18:26 | Link to Comment willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

Dr-I am insulted that you would suggest that Americans care more for sex, lingerie, boobies than....

what was the topic?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 22:56 | Link to Comment RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

There was "nipple" and "kissing" in there.  What was the question again?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:54 | Link to Comment ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

The Federal Reserve Bancorp of America will make sure a physical dollar is printed for every dollar in deposits.

Besides... Benny (and Krugman) has always said that a little inflation would be good for the economy...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:55 | Link to Comment de3de8
de3de8's picture

RH -I'm doing my "running" early. I hate crowds.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:20 | Link to Comment TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

I'm too fat to run. Does McDonalds have cash on the menu yet?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:58 | Link to Comment McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Pics or it didn't happen.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:00 | Link to Comment pods
pods's picture

The ember is starting to grow.  

And everything they do will fan the flames.  

I thought the dumbest thing they could do was steal deposits.

I was wrong.

Now they are going to implode the money supply to available cash on hand?

You cannot make this shit up.  

pods

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:24 | Link to Comment Shaten
Shaten's picture

I wonder in a thought experiment, if you did collapse the curency to the actual printed amount.

If I read the chart correctly in America that would be

2472 Billion dollars

Would make a lot of people mad but would inject a massive amount of deflat into the system all at once.

and the total value of the US gold supply is:

10,920,429,098 dollars of gold

so 247 times too much paper to return to the gold standard.

Interesting thought experiment.
Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:49 | Link to Comment Tango in the Blight
Tango in the Blight's picture

Unless the gold becomes 247 times as valuable. It's all numbers. Gold = Gold, fiat = vapor.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:49 | Link to Comment Timmay
Timmay's picture

Lesson #1: FDIC "insurance" protects against nominal loss, but does nothing to protect against liquidity loss.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:02 | Link to Comment pods
pods's picture

The FDIC will give you your money.

About an hour before a new currency is introduced.

pods

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 22:19 | Link to Comment Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Got it, thanks. I was wondering how they'll kill cash.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:50 | Link to Comment MagicHandPuppet
MagicHandPuppet's picture

Dear Spain,

You are next.  FORWARD!

 

Sincerely,
Your owners 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 16:08 | Link to Comment OccupyTVstations
OccupyTVstations's picture

Too bad intrade shut down... Luxembourg!

Luxembourg Bank Assets Liabilities 22x size of GDP, Cyprus only 8x. (If the graph doesn't show, it's at 15:26) http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/debt-crisis-live/9956271/Cyprus-bailo...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:58 | Link to Comment Banksters
Banksters's picture

"This is an exceptional and unique case, which is being exceptionally applied to Cyprus," the Spanish prime minister said in the press conference.

I guess it was exceptional to seize Spanish pensions to buy their craptastic bonds.    Spain Taps Pension Fund in Borrowing Spree - WSJ.com Exceptionally exceptional.  Meanwhile France is going down the shitter. Negative French PMI triggers EU recession fears
Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:00 | Link to Comment McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

When do they start imposing curfews? First come the capital controls, then come the people controls...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:22 | Link to Comment TerminalDebt
TerminalDebt's picture

about an hour before the banks open, nobody allowed outside during bank hours

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:28 | Link to Comment jus_lite_reading
jus_lite_reading's picture

If people across the EU (and any location fiat-Zi0-p0nzi banks operate) did not learn this vary valuable lesson from the people of Cyprus, they deserve what they will get...

You ain't seen nuttin' yet! Remember my predictions in 2010... one by one they shall come to pass!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:29 | Link to Comment css1971
css1971's picture

"This is an exceptional and unique case, which is being exceptionally applied to Cyprus," the Spanish prime minister said in the press conference.

LOL. Exceptional!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 23:41 | Link to Comment Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

So, if you fly to Italy, and open a bank account with a 100,000 Euro Check from your bank in Cyprus, can you withdraw all the cash then?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:46 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

What is the status of Safety Deposit Boxes in Cyprus?

Societe Generale Bank - Cyprus Limited has available Safe Deposit Boxes, which are designed to give you a safe place to store your valuables along with piece of mind that comes from knowing that these items are secure.

 

Safe deposit Boxes are available in a variety of sizes. So no matter how large or small the items that you want to keep safe, there is probably a safe deposit box that will meet your needs.

 

http://www.sgcyprus.com/easyconsole.cfm?id=36

SEPA...lol

Settlement of accounts between Originator Bank and Beneficiary Bank through the Use of Clearing and Settlement Mechanisms or Intermediaries as same are were defined in the SEPA Credit Transfer Scheme Rulebook, but now are determined by a small boy named Calvin and his stuffed tiger, Hobbes.

 

http://www.sgcyprus.com/easyconsole.cfm/id/153

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:50 | Link to Comment espirit
espirit's picture

Alright! CalvinBall rules apply.

My kind of game...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:16 | Link to Comment hedgeless_horseman
hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

"With SGBCy Saving Account experience the most convenient method for saving money. You can freely deposit and withdraw funds at any time and earn an attractive interest on your savings"...JKLOL.

 

http://www.sgcyprus.com/easyconsole.cfm/id/17 

 

 

"With a Societe Generale Bank - Cyprus Limited Current Account you gain fast, easy and convenient access to your money anytime from our Branches, ATMs, over the phone and over the Internet. You can freely deposit and withdraw funds at any time and control your financials on a daily basis"...JKLOL.
 

http://www.sgcyprus.com/easyconsole.cfm/id/16

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:51 | Link to Comment LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

Fine, fine.  They're all fine here.  How about you?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:52 | Link to Comment defencev
defencev's picture

Another interesting question: If I am in Cyprus (I am not, god bless) and have ATM, say, linked to my US Charles Schwab account

did I have withdrawal limitations of 100 Euro during bank holidays? If all banks were closed during bank holidays, I presume that safe-deposit boxes of all banks were out of limits...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:37 | Link to Comment ATM
ATM's picture

You were limited to the max withdrawal as the ATMs are controlled by the local banking institutions. You could not get to 'your' box. The banks doors were locked.

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 16:17 | Link to Comment defencev
defencev's picture

I am not sure about that. Typically, it works as follows. Bank establishes a limit on daily withdrawal. I cannot withdraw from that bank ATM more than their daily limit. However, I can go to ATM of another bank and can withdraw up to their limit etc.

I presume I can withdraw in this way much more than 100 euro ....

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 19:42 | Link to Comment noless
noless's picture

I would assume the withdrawal limits are on the account side, client side ATM limits are anti theft measures, like so a mugger can't clear your account for the cash available in the machine.

maybe they're stupid enough to have overlooked something like that though.. Although it barely seems relevant.

In what sense are you using the term typically?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:51 | Link to Comment cifo
cifo's picture

"valuables along with piece of mind"

Everyone needs a piece of mind.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:38 | Link to Comment ATM
ATM's picture

I don't. I need a piece of ass.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:12 | Link to Comment persu
persu's picture

Does it really work like that, if there is more than 100, then nothing is covered? I thought guarantee would be up to 100 regardless of total amount. Anything over 100 poof?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:19 | Link to Comment ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Any Spiderman towels for opening a new improved limited cash acct?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:37 | Link to Comment SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

we are considering the option of allowing the cyprus banks to issue currency themselves

this will remedy the existing shortage of the ones issued off-island

- the cyprus government

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:39 | Link to Comment SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

ignore the above comment.

that government mis-spoke

a newer, less careless, one is one its way

- tptb

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:53 | Link to Comment ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

Hell - you can't even get a Top Shelf Russian hooker for 300 Euro - what is the point - guess have to slum with some local talent (Cypriot/Greek).....

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:39 | Link to Comment ATM
ATM's picture

You can now.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:41 | Link to Comment Silver Bug
Silver Bug's picture

Wow I bet those who had their money in gold and silver are happy now. Let this be a warning!

 

http://sprottmoneyblog.com/

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:22 | Link to Comment pashley1411
pashley1411's picture

Emphasis "against the PEOPLE".    The Cypriot government folded like a tent. anded the wealth of the populace over to the Troika, for a measy and soon-to-be-pissed-away $10 billion.

Shame.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 17:43 | Link to Comment dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Pissin yer money up a fuckin wall!!!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:25 | Link to Comment css1971
css1971's picture

Interesting, people don't seem to be able to apply the situation to themselves.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:34 | Link to Comment GOLD AND SILVER...
GOLD AND SILVER NATZI's picture

As an extremely wise man once said, "I'm not as much concerned with the return on my money, as I am with the return of my money".  FIGHT THE FUCKING TYRANNY NOW

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:46 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Hell....if I can take 300 a day out it will only take me 334 days to get all my money (that remains) out.

<Happy days are here again...>

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:58 | Link to Comment madcows
madcows's picture

Clarification required:  That is 334 "Business" days to get your money out.  If the bank is only allowed to open 1 day a month, then that is actually 27 years and 10 months.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:05 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

You take all the fun out of being ripped off by the 'author-ities' who get to author (and change) all the rules.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:26 | Link to Comment Relentless
Relentless's picture

This news just in :

New queues are seen forming in all the alleyways and dark places near the banks as muggers queue up to get their chance to take 300 Euros from people who have recently visited the bank.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 17:47 | Link to Comment dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

Ever run over the people at the ATMs in grand theft auto 4? Money piles fly all over

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:01 | Link to Comment dtwn
dtwn's picture

Good thing I'm broke.  Don't have to worry about queing in front of banks.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:06 | Link to Comment fuu
fuu's picture

It's not like you haven't been warned or anything...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:14 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Warnings are for other people, not me. The problem is always them, but never me. And the check really is in the mail when I say it is, but never when I am told that it is.

Denial comes in all shapes, sizes and forms. And while being a little bit pregnant is impossible, we are almost always just a little bit in denial. It is everyone else who is completely in denial.

<The games 'We the People' play.>

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:16 | Link to Comment fuu
fuu's picture

Put down the radish and go to the bank today!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:18 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I actually had to eat store bought radishes the other day.

<Kill me now.>  :)

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:57 | Link to Comment Umh
Umh's picture

I wonder how long they were in a controlled environment before you got to them?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:35 | Link to Comment Mordenkainen
Mordenkainen's picture

And in the matter of a week Cyprus has become North Korea. Well done Troika.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:38 | Link to Comment ThirdWorldDude
ThirdWorldDude's picture

Heck, if (Peres)Troika were a bit wiser they'd apply another exceptional rule and ban all cash on Cyprus.

It could turn the island into Sweden overnight...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:34 | Link to Comment fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

so if a Cypriot had been smart and had a whole bunch of euro under his mattress, or even gold or something...and decided he would like to go take a vacation right about now...he can't take his money with him?

there may be a few different lessons here.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:36 | Link to Comment GOLD AND SILVER...
GOLD AND SILVER NATZI's picture

Walls not only keep people out, but in.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:39 | Link to Comment Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

*laughs and thrown eggs*

- The GOP base towards Ron Paul during the presidential debates

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:55 | Link to Comment espirit
espirit's picture

Prolly been a run at the local FedEx office.

Just saying...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:05 | Link to Comment pods
pods's picture

Exactly, "stuffed" animals are the hottest export about now.

pods

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:06 | Link to Comment Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Yeah go long on scuba gear, watertight chests and shark cages.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:23 | Link to Comment e-recep
e-recep's picture

it would be wiser to stay off the radar and hold on to your cash and gold in these turbulent times.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:23 | Link to Comment Mine Is Bigger
Mine Is Bigger's picture

Cue Bitcoin ...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 17:47 | Link to Comment Debugas
Debugas's picture

the limit is 3000 euros per person. I bet there will be people more than willing to aid you in transporting your cash outside...

It is impossible to limit cash going out unless you mark the cash "as local" and tell the rest of the world not to accept marked cash

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 00:44 | Link to Comment BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

Or you're a small island nation with a limited number of boats in private hands, with good shore-mounted artillery and a will to use it.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:37 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

If all you can do is "visit" your money and not actually take it with you.......you don't "own" it.

<"May I at least see my balance? Pretty please?">

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:55 | Link to Comment wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

No one is allowed to even see (much less visit or count) "our" gold in Ft. Knox!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:03 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

The "our" you speak of is similar to the royal "we". Meaning it ain't yours and it never was, but you are allowed to think it is. Carry on peasant.

<Oh.......and you missed a spot with your mop over there next to the vault door.> 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:27 | Link to Comment Paracelsus
Paracelsus's picture

Gold painted tungsten.Fixed it for ya!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:04 | Link to Comment Boondocker
Boondocker's picture

I thought we were supposed to keep our PM in foreign countries....

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:10 | Link to Comment Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I've always found it amusing when authors claim there is some place "safe" outside the borders of wherever they are saying is presently unsafe.

In the global Ponzi game there ain't no such thing as "safe". The term is best seen as a relative condition, not an absolute.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:37 | Link to Comment Hulk
Hulk's picture

Its a wonderful life !!!

Everytime you hear an ATM machine spit out your card, a bankster is being burnt in Hell !!!

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:37 | Link to Comment Obchelli
Obchelli's picture

I wonder what happens to people who have direct deposits set up. Is their hard earned salary

POOF - Gone on arival?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:36 | Link to Comment eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

I don't suppose they could just call JG Wentworth?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HX0fIi3H-es

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:37 | Link to Comment Nothing To See Here
Nothing To See Here's picture

Cyprus : now one big forced labor camp for the State and its bank subsidiaries.

Oh did I say work camp? I meant happy camp.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:52 | Link to Comment LFMayor
LFMayor's picture

dude, it's in the Mediterranean.  Ain't no work going on there.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:39 | Link to Comment Z'
Z&#039;'s picture

 In other words, all said "reopening" will do, is to allow physical branches to be used as glorified ATMs but with a very terrified and confused carbon-based teller on the other side...

One thing I love about reading the Tylers is this ability to highlight the humanity out of the bits n bytes of 'money' matters.  For me, it helps bring sanity to the surreal nonsense of it all.  Best wishes to the 'carbon-based tellers'.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:37 | Link to Comment Bennie Noakes
Bennie Noakes's picture

The US equivalent of a time deposit is a CD...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:39 | Link to Comment Elijah Craig 18
Elijah Craig 18's picture

If I was a Cypriot worker, I'd take a pay cut right about now if my employer agreed to pay me in cash. Anything to insure that a deposit was never made to my account again.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:38 | Link to Comment lizzy36
lizzy36's picture

SWEET - when is the panzer division arriving?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:07 | Link to Comment fuu
fuu's picture

Fark the pony, I want a Panzer!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:39 | Link to Comment kito
kito's picture

Oh well: such is life in the New Normal under capital controls, in which there is a unquantifiable premium for having physical cash over electronic...

 

yes, ive said it many many times......when shitstorm comes rolling into america, make sure you have plenty of physical cash on hand.......................your local supermarket wont be accepting gold.................physical cash is one of the most valuable things you can have OUTSIDE THE SYSTEM..............

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:08 | Link to Comment Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Your local pawn broker will.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:14 | Link to Comment kito
kito's picture

that would be a problem.....everybody dumping whatever jewelry they have left for scant physical cash dollars...........IF the crisis were to unfold to the point that dollars were ultimately left valueless. you want to be in a position to rely on cash that you smartly squirreled away and keep your gold for preservation...........if the crisis doesnt materialize in the form of hyperinflation, that cash will be even more valuable..................KEEP PHYSICAL CASH STORED OUTSIDE THE SYSTEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:23 | Link to Comment Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

I totally agree at this point keep your assets aka savings outside the bank. After Sandy I learned the cash on hand lesson the hard way. And I am not against stacking gold and silver but you know I couldn't use them for transactions like gas for the car or food when that happened.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 20:03 | Link to Comment noless
noless's picture

That's the entire point; gold is savings, silver is exchange, cash is interim, and with cash, stripper bills serve best, high marked notes are seen as suspect. The "how do you even have this much money" eyes.

Don't draw attention to thyself.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:13 | Link to Comment viahj
viahj's picture

the "supermarkets" will be cleared out in hours.  visit with local farmers, and i'm sure that they would take gold.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:15 | Link to Comment kito
kito's picture

you better hope the crisis unfolds during growing season if you arent living in warm weather state......................

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:19 | Link to Comment jomama
jomama's picture

if and when the shitstorm comes to america, if all people need cash to buy things, there will be riots.  shopping at the supermarket would be a very diferent paradigm.

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:40 | Link to Comment PUD
PUD's picture

nasdaq is green

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:45 | Link to Comment bnbdnb
bnbdnb's picture

Dividends. Everyone chasing dividends. Go to the USD and buy corporate stocks paying dividends. Not a lot of choices for the finance bozos.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:48 | Link to Comment mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

nothing to see here move along.

 

All is well.

 

Go Duke.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:16 | Link to Comment YC2
YC2's picture

I have an issue with all three statements there.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:49 | Link to Comment fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

everything will be green by close, today and everyday. One day it just won't open. That's the new 'correction".

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:41 | Link to Comment falak pema
falak pema's picture

why does this Cyprus pimple require so much dead horse carcass bashing on a financial blog?

It has no influence in itself on the world stage, its economy is insignificant and hopefully its gas reserves will help resuscitate its economic revival from that of mafia casino to a normal basis (I'm being optimistic, as the ruski hold on it is terrible). 

There is something morbid and Paparazzi "photographing of naked tits" in this incessant cyprus butt flashing, now soon of miserable ATM pissing. 

Its a small staging point of Oligarchy mayhem; nothing else. While the world punishes its people like ants and cockroaches.

What is more important is "the template" and its exploitation elsewhere. 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:16 | Link to Comment viahj
viahj's picture

Cyprus just well may be the Achilles' Heel of the banking union.  we'll see if this turns into a mortal blow in Spain and Italy.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:33 | Link to Comment unununium
unununium's picture

Wrong metaphor.

Not Achilles heel.

**Trial balloon**

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:43 | Link to Comment FinalCollapse
FinalCollapse's picture

Cypriots should max out their credit cards and then default. The banksters wanted to steal their deposit money so they are fair game and people should turn the tables on them.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 18:16 | Link to Comment Mentaliusanything
Mentaliusanything's picture

what a wonderfull idea. tie your credit card to an account max the card and empty the account. 55 days interest free of course. When they come after you you just say you needed a "bail in". New rules new game

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:43 | Link to Comment Nikola Tesla
Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:45 | Link to Comment SgtSchultz
SgtSchultz's picture

+1000!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:45 | Link to Comment tecno242
tecno242's picture

I'd go straight to the nearest Jewelry or coin dealer on the island and Max out my credit card buying all the gold/platinum items they had.

Then a month later, they either let me pay the bill w/ the cash in my account or the card defaults.

Either way, I roll out of there covered in expensive jewelry that the border control can't tell if it's real diamonds or not.

Cash?  What cash?  I don't have cash...  oh this?  ... this sh#@ is cubic zerconia bi#ch

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:44 | Link to Comment alarm bell
alarm bell's picture

Did P.O.S. Dimon resign?  If so, it getting very entertaining!!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:43 | Link to Comment Camlon
Camlon's picture

Yeah, like that is going to help. My bet is that a lot of stores will refuse to take cards as they need to access their money to pay their bills. 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:58 | Link to Comment ronaldawg
ronaldawg's picture

That already happened with Gas Stations.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:44 | Link to Comment Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     I hope the 'carbon based ATMs' are wearing  'carbon fibre' clothing at work tomorrow.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:51 | Link to Comment SillySalesmanQu...
SillySalesmanQuestion's picture

+1000

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:02 | Link to Comment de3de8
de3de8's picture

Kevlar

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 16:12 | Link to Comment robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

I live in the knife stabbing capital of Canada and because we don't have guns we do our killing up close and personal like. A sharp knife goes through a kevlar police vest like a hot knife through butter.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:44 | Link to Comment marco1324
marco1324's picture

Seems a right fudge over what is not a lot of money (if you have a printing press). Troika tried to get the Russian cash and ended up with egg on their faces, now they need to be seen as tough otherwise every other little broke country will do the same and blackmail the cenrtal banks. How did a little country get into such a mess?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:44 | Link to Comment debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

300.000 people withdrawing €300 a day, every day, in a rather small community. 90 million a day. Guess the banks will be closed again by april 15.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:00 | Link to Comment Professorlocknload
Professorlocknload's picture

By now they have printed tonnage. They will limit outflow to < inflow. This is a world venue here, and they want to put on a proper show.

There will be cash in the streets everywhere in a couple weeks. Bread and Circuses for all.

Now, to see if this is a coordinated effort, head on down to your local ATM and draw $500. Then, see what percentage of the bills are brand new crisp ones. This has always been one of my indicators of a reset.

 

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:08 | Link to Comment debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

Nice.. I think the percentage of crispy bills will be around 90, the old bills are in st. Petersburg by now.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:25 | Link to Comment Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Absolutely like I've said in another thread I hope some ZH readers on the ground in Cyprus take some pictures of the bills they are dispensing tommorrow so we can decipher the serial numbers on them. Those numbers and condition of the bills will tell a story in and of themselves.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 17:56 | Link to Comment Debugas
Debugas's picture

not only new but numbered in sequence. Had it many times

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:46 | Link to Comment virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

The Banks are dead, the Island and the Euro.. Rip.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:48 | Link to Comment Professorlocknload
Professorlocknload's picture

E- Money right around the corner. Just need a bit more "educating" on it's virtues.

It's already here, really. Case in point. Cross a border with more than $10k in your possession, get interrogated. Cross the same border with $20k in your debit card account, no questions. Guess terra-ists don't use Visa, maybe?

These ICE checkpoints on the highway have dogs can sniff out a dollar bill from a hundred yards, but can't smell plastic.

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:03 | Link to Comment Mordenkainen
Mordenkainen's picture

Can they smell gold?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:16 | Link to Comment e-recep
e-recep's picture

gold has no smell. first-hand experience, trust me.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:14 | Link to Comment css1971
css1971's picture

paper money isn't credit.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:49 | Link to Comment TJ00
TJ00's picture

Why would any Cypriot business now take payment in anything other than cash, which they could then deposit in a safe rather than a bank? Of course a cash business can evade taxes, thus destroying the income of the government, what's the over / under on when the first article appears with the words Cyprus and Failed State?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:03 | Link to Comment Camlon
Camlon's picture

Yeah, it makes  no sense for a company to accept anything else than cash. First off the card machine is not free. Secondly they have already been used to using cash over the last 2 weeks and they can evade taxes. Thirdly, they will probably need cash to pay for their expenses. 

Also something else that is interesting. A country finances is a lot more simple when you use euro. In each country you have a set amount of euro. Now, who will bring money into Cyprus. The only case I can think of is exports, but that will be very limited due to the death of the banking sector. However, there will be a rush to take your money out and deposit abroad and just buying foreign imported items. Money will run out simply by the fact that imports will exceed exports by a large margin.

Hence, it is not going to work. Just like it did not work in Argentina and they were forced to drop the peg. 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:30 | Link to Comment Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

Barter or scrip based on a labor value for an hours worth of work in return for a specific good valued in labor by the hour. If you value the labor correctly you can price it into something that can be exchanged for bills outside the system like bitcoin for work.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:52 | Link to Comment madcows
madcows's picture

Awesome, at 300 euros a day, it will take one year to withdraw all 100,000 euros worth.  I say the ship sinks before 1 year, and takes most of the 100k euro-fiats with it.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:25 | Link to Comment Professorlocknload
Professorlocknload's picture

Let's say 100,000 depositors draw 300 from their accounts per day. That's 30,000,000 a day dumped onto the streets. X how many days 'till folks realize it's time to convert it to things real before its value evaporates?

And those who don't withdraw cash, might entertain the thought that if "I don't just cut a check for what I need or want, it will run out of reach," as well.

Still looks to me like an attempt at a 100 amp jump start.

Hell, I'm even looking at starving car dealers at this point, as a last chance to replace my old wheels before the decimal point goes farther right.

Isn't that what they want to hear? Hear that Ben? Got your ears on?

But, because you heard it on ZH, I'll abstain, and drive the old jitney another 50,000 miles or until you are gone. Whichever comes first!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 15:50 | Link to Comment robertocarlos
robertocarlos's picture

The decimal point will move left. No more $500 a night hotel in Cyprus, now is $50. Coming soon to a country near you. The only problem will be where do we find 1/10 cents? Ask teh gas station guy.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 16:00 | Link to Comment Non Passaran
Non Passaran's picture

It won't go onto the streets, it'll go in the mattresses (and maybe non-Eurozone banks).

A real problem is if you need to load up on PMs, you can't because your money is stuck in the bank.  

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:54 | Link to Comment bagehot99
bagehot99's picture

They're allowing the Cypriot people to have pocket money, like kids on vacation. It's fucking disgusting.

But The Euro is not yet dead, and the EU project staggers forward.

My philosophy of staying deep in debt and spending what I earn is vindicated. I'm a genius.

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