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A Furious Cyprus Begins Investigating Who Breached The Capital Controls

Tyler Durden's picture




 

On Monday we reported the very disturbing news that despite the ongoing liquidity blockade, capital controls and (somewhat) closed Cyprus banks, one particular group of people - the very same group targeted to prompt this whole ludicrous collapse of the island nation - Russian Oligrachs had found ways to bypass the ringfence and pull their money out quickly and quietly. We said that, if confirmed, "If we were Cypriots at this point we would be angry. Very, very angry." Turns out the Cypriots did become angry, and the questions are finally starting. As Spiegel reports, the Cypriot Parliament, which may or may not last too long once the banks reopen tomorrow and the people realize that in a fractional reserve banking system, those deposits you thought were there... they are gone, poof, has begun investigating the capital flight that may means the destruction of Cyprus has been for nothing. Sadly, it is now too little, too late.

From Spiegel:

Banks have been closed and accounts frozen in Cyprus recently. Nevertheless, large amounts were moved out of the country's crippled financial institutions on the eve of the bailout package. Lawmakers are suspicious and are investigating both the government and the Cypriot central bank.

 

Panicos Demetriades looked dead tired as he opened the press conference on Tuesday afternoon on the fourth floor of the Central Bank of Cyprus. The questions and answers flew back and forth for 90 minutes, with Finance Minister Michalis Sarris doing his best to back up the central bank head. Outside, the mountains slowly receded from view behind into a haze, while inside journalists became increasingly restive. When the session ended, many were left wondering why Demetriades had invited them in the first place. He had virtually nothing new to say.

 

Many interpreted the press conference as a symbolic exercise. Central bank head Demetriades, they felt, sought to stage a show of strength to counter the pressure that has been heaped on his shoulders in recent days. For one, he announced earlier this week, without consulting the Cypriot government first, that small banks in the country would open their doors again on Tuesday, in contrast to the island-nation's two largest financial institutions Laiki and Bank of Cyprus. The result was a massive protest from the smaller banks and a reversal. The banks stayed closed. For the moment, the opening date is set for Thursday, and many fear that a flood of angry customers could overwhelm the sector.

 

Then, on Monday, the central bank announced that it was installing financial manager Dinos Christofides as a special consultant to the Bank of Cyprus as it prepares to take on assets from Laiki, which is to be liquidated. The deployment of Christofides is legitimate, but it triggered widespread concerns that the Bank of Cyprus too may soon be broken up. Demetriades was accused of not doing enough to explain the steps he was taking, thus intensifying investor anxiety.

 

Most of all, though, the central bank head has been harshly criticized due to the suspicious capital flight from Laiki and the Bank of Cyprus, the two institutions that have been hit hardest by the Cypriot banking crisis. There are indications that large sums flowed out of the two banks just before the first bailout package was signed in the early morning hours of March 16. At the end of January, some 40 percent of all savings held in Cypriot accounts were on the books of those two banks. Since then, however, much of it has been transferred elsewhere, despite orders from the central bank that accounts at the two institutions be frozen.

 

'Special Payments'

 

The central bank now stands accused of not doing enough to control the movement of capital. Transfers for humanitarian aid were permitted which, while certainly an acceptable exception, opened a loophole for abuse. Many are also furious that the bank allowed "special payments," the definition of which was never adequately established.

 

The Cypriot central bank has defended itself by saying that it was impossible to completely prevent all transactions, despite the account freeze. Much of the money was withdrawn from overseas, where Cyprus had no authority. Branches of Cypriot banks in non-euro-zone countries such as Russia and Britain do not answer to the European Central Bank. Their liquidity is controlled by central banks in those countries.

 

Such a defense is nothing less than a voluntary admission of impotence. Holders of smaller savings accounts have been unable to access much of their money for almost two weeks, companies have been unable to pay their suppliers and across the country people are concerned that their salaries will not arrive on schedule on the first of the month. Meanwhile, rich businesspeople and those with connections overseas have been able to transfer their money into foreign accounts.

In other words, the Cypriots are, indeed, getting very angry. And soon, they may just have a list of people on whom to take it out:

Lawmakers have demanded that the central bank assemble a list of those customers who withdrew large amounts of money prior to the closure of the country's financial institutions. In particular, parliamentarians want to know if central bank employees or members of the government received early warning and were able to quickly rescue their assets.

 

According to the Greek television station Mega Channel, the list has already found its way into the hands of Parliament President Yannakis Omirou. No one in parliament or in the central bank could be reached for comment on Tuesday evening. Still, the parliamentary investigation indicates just how great the mistrust is between lawmakers and the government -- and how acute the doubts are as to Panicos Demetriades' competence.

Only now is Panicos' competence being questioned? Well better late then never.

Perhaps, a better question is how much longer will the rule of law remain in Cyprus once full blown class warfare is unleashed, and the 99% are generously handed the list of the 1% who were "informed" enough to pull their money from the flaming sovereign equivalent of Bernie Madoff, while every other uninsured depositor is facing losses of up to 80%, and soon 100%?

And what happens if the realization dawns that despite all the promises even insured investors will eventually get impaired once the money runs out?

 

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Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:26 | 3380580 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

More like who didn't?

 

There must be 50 ways to leave your lover...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=298nld4Yfds

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:26 | 3380584 Super Broccoli
Super Broccoli's picture

be fair, who can say no to Boris waiting in a limo in front of the bank ?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:31 | 3380605 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Something tells me that as furious Cypriots must be, they would never apply jumper cables to your testicles.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:35 | 3380622 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

WTF is a defunkt Cypriot parliment going to do when the find Ex-KGB at the end of that trail?!?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:41 | 3380633 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

Just Watch The Fireworks When .....

 

GOLD Cert Holders Try And Redeem At The LME Window ...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:02 | 3380727 Gmpx
Gmpx's picture

In this situation when you think maybe I better move money out of this bank you should act immediately. MAYBE=YES time.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:25 | 3380820 notbot
notbot's picture

I'm serious about this...I genuinely DESPISE Paul Krugman.

Europe's "Titanic entitlements" experiment is going down yet PK is determined to steer the U.S. on the exact same course.

Now, if you'll excuse me...I ate Panda Express last night and I have to go take a giant Krugman.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:27 | 3380833 Atlas_shrugging
Atlas_shrugging's picture

This is surreal.  Like imagining a tunnel connecting our Fed and J.P.Morgan

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:37 | 3380885 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

The tunnel is real alright. Whats surreal is that journalists don't ask Dudley and Bernanke about it...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:45 | 3380930 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

this kind of story simply makes no sense

a nation's banking system is established to *help* the people of the host nation

not to bankrupt them

better go back and check your facts, mister durdenz

if that is your real name

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:57 | 3380996 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

First clue there was something up with the huminitarian transfers - many of the recipients were "The Human Fund"

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:06 | 3381033 Thulsa Doom
Thulsa Doom's picture

"The Human Fund. Money for People."

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:13 | 3381067 Joe Davola
Joe Davola's picture

There's people and then there are People.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:40 | 3381233 Spirit Of Truth
Spirit Of Truth's picture

PEOPLE!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Sp-VFBbjpE

Moscow has thought long and hard about how to bring down the Capitalist system.  This is likely just the beginning:

http://thespiritoftruth.blogspot.com/2013/02/dow-14000-world-war-three.html

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 14:40 | 3382332 Joseph Jones
Joseph Jones's picture

I prefer to call the Capitalist System what it is, the Judaic Usury system. 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 18:52 | 3383459 macholatte
macholatte's picture

 

The Q&A

 

Senator: So tell us, Mr Corzine, what happened to all that money?

Corzine: I don't know.

Senator: OK. Good answer. You're excused and exonerated as well as all the members of the government.

What's for lunch?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 18:14 | 3383348 rich_wicks
rich_wicks's picture

WHAT capitalist system?

You believe the government borrowing money using tax payers as collateral to give to private firms is capitalism?  The same firms that if allowed to go bankrupt would decrease the price of housing and would severely impair the wealth of very very wealthy people with huge sums of cash?

The US government killed capitalism, sometime in the 1990s.  This isn't capitalism, this is corporatism.

If Moscow wants to bring down the capitalism system, they need to start in Russia, where it still exists.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 20:29 | 3383730 Bill D. Cat
Bill D. Cat's picture

Post more . ^ that was pure .

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:07 | 3381042 redpill
redpill's picture

Every time I think I've seen it all, these folks manage to outdo themselves. I previously had no idea that such extreme levels of clusterfuckedness could exist.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 18:53 | 3383462 booboo
booboo's picture

Well you just wait till the trapez artist falls though the net and gets impaled on the feathered thingy that is on the head of the horse that the monkey is riding around on. They don't call it The Greatest Show on Earth for nuttin.

Three Ring Circus Bitchez

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 19:43 | 3383630 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

+1 for 'clusterfuckedness'.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:45 | 3380933 Rathmullan
Rathmullan's picture

Easy solution. Bring Russia into the zone. I'm sure LaGarde is working up that proposal as we speak.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:04 | 3381025 DeadFred
DeadFred's picture

I suspect Russia is planning on the change of zones going in the other direction. LaGarde is viewed less favorably in Moscow than in Brussels. Many in the Russian government remember Brussels as a minor waypoint for the Red Army on the planned path to Paris and old views have a way of persisting.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:05 | 3381031 redpill
redpill's picture

How does one say "go fuck yourself" in Russian?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:23 | 3381147 tiwimon
tiwimon's picture

"????????? ?? ??????? ?????? ????"

 

well copy and paste does now work, puts all ?'s so go here 

http://translation.babylon.com/english/to-russian/Go%20fuck%20yourself/

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:42 | 3381250 Shitters_Full
Shitters_Full's picture

Polonium

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:35 | 3381445 deKevelioc
deKevelioc's picture

In Russian? Whatever it is also comes with some very bad stuff.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 12:00 | 3381548 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

"Yub tvaya mat" (Go fuck your mother) - works well enough to convey the warm sentiment 

"Ti takaya suka" (You are such a bitch)  - Turns a russian woman into even more of a screaming bitch that she was just before you called her that. (Russian has two words for bitches "Sterva - demanding woman", "Suka - female dog and a mortal insult to them"  

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 18:34 | 3383401 Joe moneybags
Joe moneybags's picture

I prefer to wait for Boris Alotovcrap's translation.  The rest of you are just messing with us.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 18:41 | 3383421 Catflappo
Catflappo's picture

great - thanks ....    "Yub tvaya Bernanke"!!!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 19:01 | 3383472 booboo
booboo's picture

The Russians would just whack Legarde but they still don't know if it gets the female or male dose of polonium 210, it mght back fire and create a 6'-0" diameter money sucking Mangina.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 19:02 | 3383478 DirtyHowi
DirtyHowi's picture

phonetically since i lack a cyrrilic keyboard posho nohoy

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:37 | 3381229 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Or that the tunnel is apparently a one-way tunnel.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:51 | 3380966 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

I think any money found will have somehow wound up with JPM. Since it will be for legitimate margin calls, reimbursement of their Cyprus Entertainment expenses, and other such fictions, it will all be good and JPM can keep the money.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:04 | 3381331 mickeyman
mickeyman's picture

Did you see his speech where he told the Cypriots to "prepare for deep pain"?

Sounds like something his future cellmate will say to him!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 19:31 | 3383594 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

Surreal indeed!!!

I am SHOCKED!!!   SHOCKED I tell you, that the 1% was actually taken care of ahead of the 99%!!! 

Who would have thought this would happen in todays world!!!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 13:23 | 3381883 The Phu
The Phu's picture

Great question?  Who tried to steal from whom?  So it's ok for Cyprus to FUBAR the Russkies, but when the Russkies "go all guerilla war on their asses" and withdraw the funds before they can be stolen, now it's a crime against the people? 

 

Let me get this straight.... It sounds like the Cypriot citizens feel, dare I say, "entitled" to levy/steal that Russian (or more broadly, the elites') money?  WTF is wrong with this picture.

 

I congratulate our Russian friends for not being Corzined.  Boris, he's a 100gm shot of vodka for you buddy.  Can you do this to JP Morgan next?  Pretty Please????  Pozhalsta??? 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:35 | 3380625 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Just don't push it and make them double dog furious.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:43 | 3380653 unrulian
unrulian's picture

Sweet Jesus...not double dog furious...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:53 | 3380695 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Sure, double diamond dog furious, you know, he's the cousin of deputy dog. Bow wow, woof woof.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:52 | 3380968 Silver Bully
Silver Bully's picture

He's Triple Dog Furious!

(Oh no! Triple Dog Furious!)

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:16 | 3381090 PathForward
PathForward's picture

Anybody know if the contents of safe deposit boxes located in Cyprus are also scheduled for a haircut? That would probably add significantly to the fury factor.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:24 | 3381414 TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

The Russians looted the safe deposit boxes on their way out.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:53 | 3381527 Debugas
Debugas's picture

safety deposit boxes should be (even in case of a bankruptcy of the bank) but authorities may ask you to prove the content was legitimately aquired (bought/inherited etc) and you had enough income to buy it

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 19:36 | 3383613 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

So, if you have 100k worth of gold in your safety deposit box.....and you don't have all the corresponding receipts......it may be subject to confiscation? 

This is only in the EU right?

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:38 | 3380627 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:43 | 3380655 DblAjent
DblAjent's picture

they would never apply jumper cables to your testicles

The Cyps who would are probably among those who were able to withdraw or otherwise transfer their assets elsewhere.

Those with money have power. Those with power have money.

The rest of us are held accountable. I hope they fight the good fight but, really, what's the use?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:07 | 3380748 Going Loco
Going Loco's picture

I was doing a search to find details of the brutal tactics used by EOKA (and, to be fair, probably by us Brits) and this popped up on my screen:

Buy Massacres at Amazon

Low Prices on Massacres. Free UK Delivery on Amazon Orders

 

Buy now while stocks last.

I love the interweb.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 18:42 | 3383427 Umh
Umh's picture

Target.com is real good at trying to sell me things like mayhem and floods.

 

I miss the early years on the Internet when most of my search results were not attempts to sell me stuff I don't want.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:46 | 3381499 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

The CIA is everywhere and I wouldn't be surprised if they use jumper cables on testicles in Cyprus.

Just like Iraq, now Cyprus has gas reserves, they crush the country.

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 18:18 | 3383366 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture

@ ParkAveFlasher

Yeah!  Cyprus: "we are vewwy, vewwy angwy"

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 18:23 | 3383375 Tiago
Tiago's picture

It will be finally clear to all of the cypriots that their "brothers" from Russia, operating with the stollen money from Russian, Ukrainina, Belorussian, Moldovian and Bulgarian, never really cared about Zypern. All they already did there is to use and abuse the banking system of Cyprus with the help of their fifth column there ;)

If Cypriots have someone to be angry at, it was not the European partners of Cyprus, but the crooks at their banking system who helped those russians to steal their money, while all transactions from Cypriot banks should have been already frozen. Well, one should always pay for his stupidity. No exceptions from this rule should be applied from now on. Fiscal paradises have no real future. Let's leave all those russians play with the stollen money in their own banks. They are not welcome in Europe anymore.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 19:01 | 3383476 autofixer
autofixer's picture

Eu amo Brasil!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:52 | 3380690 agent default
agent default's picture

The Russian response will not be swift or impressive at least at this stage.  The Russians grind slowly, but they grind thoroughly, very thoroughly.  I don't think it is Cyprus, it is the EU and particularly Germany that are in deep shit over this one.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:01 | 3380722 GhostfaceCracka
GhostfaceCracka's picture

Cypriots should save their anger for their real foes in Brussels and Washington.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:17 | 3380793 agent default
agent default's picture

But they are. 

And this is the interesting part.  You take a look at the map, and you see the obvious interest of Russia in  Eastern Mediterranean.  Then again,  The population of Greece and Cyprus are deep down definitely pro Western (for now), and at any rate, the Cold War era certainly instilled some loyalty and feeling of belonging to the West in them. So how do you affect deep political change?  You let them suffer for a while in the hands of "prestigious" Western institutions like the IMF, or complete jokes like the EU, and voila! Sentiment overturned.  Then when discontent reaches critical mass, you can go in with an offer they cannot refuse, which will be pretty cheap considering their position by that time, you slightly improve their situation, and there you have it, a total change of loyalties, deep down in society, across the political spectrum. Think of it as a large scale phycological operation from the Russians.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:07 | 3381039 Race Car Driver
Race Car Driver's picture

False dichotomies - the real goal here is controlled chaos.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:08 | 3381349 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Chaos by definition can't be controlled.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 18:13 | 3383344 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

That is not true. It depends how large the chaos being controlled is. A cast- iron fireplace will contain a large fire and warm a room where no fire is present. Usually.

Nuclear reactors contain high chaotic volitility within the pools of water as long as another larger chaotic event does not occur which could compromise the pools.

A briefcase nuclear reactor that creates a small black hole within its structure would (theorectically) change time and space for the areas around it, allowing us to travel in time.

OK, maybe I read the last one online somewhere...

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:30 | 3381432 ATM
ATM's picture

The real goal is to take advantage of the chaos and power vacuum that will ensue. 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 19:07 | 3383505 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

I think at this point in time the Russians are more "pro-west" than the so-called "West" is with "west" being a euphamism for individual rights. 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:16 | 3381262 Anasteus
Anasteus's picture

In my honest opinion, the money outflow was silently prepared and arranged between Europe and Russians (ah, and Goldman, of course) behind the closed doors not to get Russians furious; after all, they need Russians to shift some power to as the US/EU block is going bust. The EU defacto deliberately sacrificed Cyprus.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:06 | 3381346 mickeyman
mickeyman's picture

The Russians can say "last time we only took half of Germany. Let's see how much we can take this time."

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:55 | 3380701 Ghostdog
Ghostdog's picture

Yeltsin or Badenoff?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:05 | 3380735 resurger
resurger's picture

If cypriots can defeat Yuri Boyka, they will get their money back 100%

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:11 | 3381050 mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

Boris - "Would you like to be shot in the foot or the hand?  You have one minute or I will shoot you in both.  Oh, thank you for my transaction and I will aim for the little toe.  Good decision."

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 19:13 | 3383528 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

To little, to late.  Also I think they are setting up to say that due to the Russians or  the ones over 100,000 that took their money out we have to tax your deposits under 100,000.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:27 | 3380588 BaBaBouy
BaBaBouy's picture

NOW YOU SEE IT... NOW YOU DON'T ...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:30 | 3380602 new game
new game's picture

BOE next - 38 B shortfall; next ass rape on deck, the full ankle reach-limber up...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:44 | 3380659 Alpo for Granny
Alpo for Granny's picture

Sorta like the Magic Man....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aegqhoepCok

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:41 | 3380600 espirit
espirit's picture

MeThinks finger pointing at Russian Oligarchs raises suspicion the ~ multinational corporations ~ might have moved assets also to safer banking locations.

Prolly never know...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:43 | 3380649 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

On the subject of safer banking locations, I heard an advertisement this AM (first time I heard it) pushing Belize as a place to park assets because it has strong laws providing asset safety. This was on an AM radio station in Miami.

Aside from the fact that probably 98% of the world has no idea where Belize is, why didn't Simon Black tell us here on ZH about this place? Or did I just miss that post from him? 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:47 | 3380680 hapless
hapless's picture

"because it has strong laws providing asset safety"

Snort.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:49 | 3381508 LostAtSea
LostAtSea's picture

laws?  Laws? LAWS???  hehehe

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:57 | 3380710 espirit
espirit's picture

Anyone with a chunk of change must be sweating bullets now that ~ banks are not to be trusted ~ and can sidestep lock-in on behalf of preferred clients.

Besides, there just isn't enough Gold phyzz to go around.  And who do you trust to guard it?

Places like Chernobyl or Fukushima come to mind...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 12:01 | 3381376 e-recep
e-recep's picture

nothing is secure at this point. tax haven islands will be the first ones to drop dead. cyprus was a good example i thought.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:30 | 3380603 eigenvalue
eigenvalue's picture

Today is the birthday of Jim Sinclair the shill and also the day when this snakeoil charlatan gets exposed. "Gold is ready to take out $2000" Wow, gold even can't break $1600 and silver has almost become arsewipe. Jim Sinclair, Jim Richards and John Embry are just three stooges of gold forecasting. My condolences to victims of these con men. In dollar we trust. We shall never see $29 silver again.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:37 | 3380628 sunnydays
sunnydays's picture

I love good comedy in the morning, eigenvalue.  Thanks for providing it. 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:39 | 3380637 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Whatever that cat's getting paid.....it's not enough.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:48 | 3380679 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

At least he takes pride in his work.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:57 | 3380713 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

He must be in love with Sinclair, to know his birthday.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:16 | 3380770 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

I agree about John Embry, the guy with squeeling voice recommending specific miners, which crushed like there's no tomorrow.

On the other hand, Jim S. and Jim R. have been more right than anybody I have ever listened to, so please don't lump them all together like that.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:33 | 3380861 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

MDB's bastard cousin

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:43 | 3380917 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

I am in no relation to that beast.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 12:07 | 3381594 Richard Head
Richard Head's picture

I was thinking Robotard.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:37 | 3380631 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Yeah I want my money back for listening to those stooges 10 years ago about where the gold price would go!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:45 | 3380665 unrulian
unrulian's picture

i will enjoy wiping my ass with my silver...it has antimicrobial properties you know

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:05 | 3381023 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

<I would use TP with silver thread (antimicrobial properties) over brand X.   

<I would keep using brand X TP.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:52 | 3380694 DblAjent
DblAjent's picture

whilst u r wiping ur arse with ur fiat paper (please crinkle first), I'll be feeding me family by way of groceries purchased with silver coins.

Bless ur heart, dickwad

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:06 | 3380745 Flagit
Flagit's picture

and ill be counting your, er, my, new silver coins after replanting my garden.

 

its not as dirty as mineshaft, and life seems intent on making me dig.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:56 | 3380704 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

It all depends on your basis, doesn't it?  I dumped a windfall into AU at $624 and AG at $12.84.  So $1600 and $28.50 are just dandy by me.  Doing far better than my FRNs.  Or my home equity.  Or my IRA.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:56 | 3380708 agent default
agent default's picture

You are right.  Things keep going the way they are, you will not be able to find ANY silver for any $ value pretty soon.  The same way you cannot find silver at any Confederate Dollar value.  So no, down the line you will not see $29 on silver EVER.  I don't know how you will like it though.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:58 | 3380715 negative rates
negative rates's picture

It's in debt we trust, welcome to Cincinnatti Landing, home of the SUPERBANKER high rise con's. 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:10 | 3380766 paint it red ca...
paint it red call it hell's picture

Happy Birthday Jim. You have been making me money in gold and preserving my wealth since gold was 290$ an ounce.

Best Wishes!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:23 | 3380816 HyperinflatmyNutts
HyperinflatmyNutts's picture

What Asshole up voted this besides Yourself? This just might be the dumbest comment I have ever come across on ZH!!!  Holly shit... Trolls are name dropping... U must love KWN.. lmao

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:24 | 3380821 GoldenGal
GoldenGal's picture

Yes eignvalue, I put all my faith in the US dollar and good ol US banks like Bank Of America.. Silly Europeans, this could NEVER happen here in America. We have Obama in office to  protect us! Hail Jesus!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:28 | 3380840 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

Dude, you are the funniest motherfucker on this site.  eigenvalue 3/27/2013: "We shall never see $29 silver again."  What do you think?  They're going to stop printing the funny money? LOL!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:57 | 3381296 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

AAPL to $1,000 is not illogical

http://www.thestreet.com/story/11482689/1/cramers-mad-money-recap-apple-...

Don't take your money out of Bear Stearns. Don't move your money from Bear. Don't be Silly.

http://dealbreaker.com/2009/11/jim-cramers-bear-call-was-second-worst-pr...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPc16cuQJR0

Those are the words of a real shill and snake oil charlatan, who's first name is Jim, but last name is not Sinclair.

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:14 | 3381371 FoeHammer
FoeHammer's picture

Pure lulz. Thanks for posting those clips

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:18 | 3381384 e-recep
e-recep's picture

if gold is still $1600, it means the vaults of the NYFED are not empty yet. but be patient. that day will come.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:37 | 3380629 Silver Garbage Man
Silver Garbage Man's picture

Some of these big bad Russians should be looking over their shoulder, they aren't the only "tough people" out there.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:56 | 3380707 j0nx
j0nx's picture

Um assuming the guys coming after them aren't time travelling Spartans or Navy SEALS then I'm sure the Russians are sleeping pretty soundly at night after counting their money.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:45 | 3380932 Lebensphilosoph
Lebensphilosoph's picture

The power of mythos ... Russians lost more men in every year on the Eastern Front than the Germans lost in the entire war ... some tough guys.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:20 | 3381128 Pseudo Anonym
Pseudo Anonym's picture

...and then came stalin and made them even tougher by killing even more of them

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:15 | 3380785 useless_fact
useless_fact's picture

The job of the queen is to lay eggs which the worker ants look after. Worker ants are sterile, they look for food, look after the young, and defend the nest from unwanted visitors.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:49 | 3380950 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

Is this a euphemism for describing the banking system?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:17 | 3380797 ElvisDog
ElvisDog's picture

What a bunch of crap. This is part of the same "bad cop" Kabuki theatre that we are exposed to in the U.S. all the time after the oligarchs have stolen all the money. No different from when Sheila Bair goes on MSM and talks tough about the evil bankers and how bad they were. She laments that nothing was done to punish them and neglects to mention that she was one of the regulators when they were stealing the money.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:46 | 3380937 AnAnonymous
AnAnonymous's picture

Yeah, that is what makes America great. We have a right to arrest and the guns to back it up.

Signed: an American.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:22 | 3381133 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

I sure hope nobody remembers how badly I was smacked down the last time I claimed US citizens could perform citizen's arrests and back it up with guns.

It would show me as a gluttoon for punishment.

Signed: AnAnonymous

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:21 | 3380801 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

One might suspect that the whole Russian bailout meetings were a stall tactic so the Ruskies could get their money out.  When word came down that the money was out of Cyprus, Ruskies said NYET! to the bailout.  NYET is Russian for "go fuck yourself."  Well played by the puppet masters pulling Putin's strings, well played.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:32 | 3380856 swani
swani's picture

Sounds exactly like MF Global.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:27 | 3380587 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

We promise not to molest your money and swear we probably won't do it.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:33 | 3380616 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Is an "investigation" more effective then "a hearing?"

How about a "Committee" or a "Commission" to invesitgate?

Which of these is the best circus?

 

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:46 | 3380670 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

They need Carl Levin on the case.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:57 | 3380711 ghengis86
ghengis86's picture

+1

That rat fuck knows a shitty deal when he sees one

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:55 | 3380698 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

As long as they have the tiny giraffes we're in.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:57 | 3381299 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

We'll have a report generated sometime in 2014 possibly later.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:29 | 3380590 RacerX
RacerX's picture

I knew the Ruskies wouldn't go quietly. Er, well they went quietly. But good for them. F-ing banks.

So I guess that means the <100,000 Euro accounts will need to pick up the slack now?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:51 | 3380691 hapless
hapless's picture

One can hope.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:22 | 3380812 TumblingDice
TumblingDice's picture

To do that I think it would have to go throgh parliament. And depending on how large the outflows of the oligarchs, the insured <100,000 accounts would have a haircut to "pick up the slack" that if voted for would leave the MP unelectable. Which means the only other options are 1) unconditional bailout by the EU or 2) bankruptcy. Both are euro negative.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:37 | 3380877 Meat Hammer
Meat Hammer's picture

There's no money left.  That was the plan.  

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:28 | 3380591 101 years and c...
101 years and counting's picture

this is awesome.  there is no money in the banks for the EU/ECB/IMF to steal to bail themselves out.  There will be no bailout.  Cyprus leaves the EUR and the games begin.  And, here's the best part, we'll be told to blame those damn Russians for taking THEIR money out.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:39 | 3380639 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

+100

The beauty of that scenario is that the Russians might have actually saved them from decades of depression if they are able to save their banking industry under the new Cypriot pound.

 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:27 | 3380709 TumblingDice
TumblingDice's picture

To which the bankers and technocrats of the EU would reply that it just proves that democracy is superflous. You don't need to vote on whether to get bailed out or go bankrupt, the market will decide for you. 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:28 | 3380594 Irelevant
Irelevant's picture

Ergo: http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2013-03-18/sun-just-set-german-empire-cypr...

And this begs the question what other lawyers already know that the words of the Eurogroup are not "law" and will open the banks tomorrow for "selected" customers and make transfers possible for a 10% fee lets say that goes to banks. It would not be illegal, banks know this, I think they will do it.

Meanwhile the poor Cypriots will be protesting and tearing down flags infront of the German embassy resting assured that when the banks reopen they will only be "levied" for 10%.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:29 | 3380597 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

very funny read:

"...What remains is a central bank head who has lost much of the trust confided in him. He has said that he does not intend to resign, and because his job enjoys constitutional protections, he cannot be fired.."

 

Spiegel, Suspicious Transactions: Cypriot Parliament Investigating Capital Flight

http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/cypriot-parliament-investigat...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:44 | 3380657 Mordenkainen
Mordenkainen's picture

Too bad he doesn't enjoy constitutional protection from being garrotted.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:35 | 3380873 Svendblaaskaeg
Svendblaaskaeg's picture

"..Too bad he doesn't enjoy constitutional protection from being garrotted..."

"Fire at will!"

Panicos:"who's Will??


Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:13 | 3380776 Going Loco
Going Loco's picture

Even if they can't fire him, how they going to pay him? With what?

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:40 | 3380903 DOT
DOT's picture

So burning at the stake is out ?  Maybe stoning would be OK.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:30 | 3380599 Whoa Dammit
Whoa Dammit's picture

It shouldn't be that hard to figure out since international wire transfers are all done on the SWIFT system and the banks have BIC identification numbers. But the Central Banks (Cyprus, Britiain, etal) will probably never be able to find out what happened to the money (because they don't want to). By the way, SWIFT is headquartered in, wait for it.....Brussels.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:45 | 3380663 machineh
machineh's picture

'Parliamentarians want to know if central bank employees or members of the government received early warning and were able to quickly rescue their assets.'

Are they allowed to say that? Here in the Land of the Free, such info is classified for national security reasons.

Only enemy combatants attack the state with such underhanded demands. /sarc

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:46 | 3380935 GCT
GCT's picture

Whoa +1.  The London branches of the two banks and other Cyprus banks were open for business without capital controls.  The British bloggers were all over it.  Several Eastern European country's were doing the same thing and the bloggers there were all over it.  This was a dam scam to screw people of Cyprus and not those in the know.

If internet bloggers like ZH and many other sites in the country's that these banks had branches in can blog about it, the EU knew it.  They just ignored it.  Smart money always gets out.  I am sure they will point the finger at London and blame them but this happened in several country's.

I am sure most of the money left due to insider information with the bought off politicians in Europe leaking information to their friends that had money in Cyprus weeks before this happened.  Nothing new here and as usual ZH is spot on thanks for the great follow up Tyler's. 

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:52 | 3381521 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

The London banks are under UK supervision and registered as UK banks. That was done some time ago to avoid a repeat of Kauptring

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 11:52 | 3381523 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

The London banks are under UK supervision and registered as UK banks. That was done some time ago to avoid a repeat of Kauptring

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 10:21 | 3381124 mammoth mo
mammoth mo's picture

In order to catch a thief you have to want to catch him.  The mouth is talking but the body ain't trying.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:31 | 3380601 Quinvarius
Quinvarius's picture

Well.  They are looting the banks that are still open now.  That is what they do just before they let you know they accidently tripped over the plug and knocked it out of the wall.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:31 | 3380606 Serfs Up
Serfs Up's picture

AND....it's gone.

 

"Move along,. this line is for customers with deposits only."

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:42 | 3380648 Esso
Esso's picture

That never gets old, just insert the language du jour. Next up: Italy, England, what?

It's as good as ZHer's maritime misadventures.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:05 | 3380742 mendigo
mendigo's picture

Do over!

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:34 | 3380607 spastic_colon
spastic_colon's picture

please.....the cyprus parliament was complicit in all of this....I am sometimes surprised at the level of naivete' in some of these story contributions, I commented over a week ago that this was happening.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:32 | 3380610 TheGermanGuy
TheGermanGuy's picture

"Vladimir, can we please have back the billions of $$$ that left the country last week to take it away from your citizens?"

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:56 | 3380705 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture

 

 

Ha ha.....nyet.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:33 | 3380611 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

LMAO 'did the central bankers or gov't employees receive early warning'

Do we really have to ask?  And as if the russians pulled all that $ out without anyone knowing.  Truth be told the central bankers probably gota % of that for 'letting' them do it.

There is no mystery or mistake here imo, everyone except the filthy fucking rich got wiped out. Just like always.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:51 | 3380673 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

All you needed for early warning is the ability to read the newspaper.  The bail-in plan was laid out in The Guardian in February:

According to reports, the so-called bail-in would involve investors and depositors providing up to €10bn to recapitalise Cyprus's banks, cutting a bill that Brussels estimates will reach €17bn.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2013/feb/11/cyprus-banks-money-launde...

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:06 | 3380747 SheepDog-One
SheepDog-One's picture

With any luck though, depositor general public will never return, maybe they learned a lesson....let the elites just bank their own money and try to rip each other off.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 12:02 | 3381566 Dangertime
Dangertime's picture

To be fair, only the rich were being targeted!

 

Can't make me feel sorry for a robbery victim getting away.  Good for whoever got their money out.  The problem is, people will now blame the rich instead of blaming the corrupt banking system.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:32 | 3380612 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

A hypothetical?:

TPTB1: Can we lock down the banks for everyone in the jurisdiction but leave tiny backdoor wormholes for the elite to escape?

TBTB2: I don't know. But, we'll try it with tiny Cyprus and let you know how it works out before it becomes the TEMPLATE for a broader rollout.

Maybe that's not really what happened, but when nothing in politics happens by accident it sure feels like what happened.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 08:34 | 3380614 BandGap
BandGap's picture

Pitchforks are flying off the shelves. Torches, too. Gonna be a hot time in the old town tomorrow.

Wed, 03/27/2013 - 09:43 | 3380918 Flagit
Flagit's picture

 "revolution sale". pitchfork and tiki torch combo at Home Despot. er, depot.

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