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The Definitive Cyprus Bailout Infographic

Tyler Durden's picture


Everything you wanted to know about the 'unique, exceptional, non-template, toolbox-of-blueprint-instruments' bailout of Cyprus but were afraid to read more than 100 words.



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Thu, 03/28/2013 - 14:59 | 3386236 Belrev
Belrev's picture

Is that Panicos Demetriadis running away?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:20 | 3386319 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

Runningawaydos Tomeetthereli's (in Tahitit)?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 17:33 | 3386858 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Did some one say BOOKER T?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:08 | 3387277 american eyedol
american eyedol's picture

its all bush's and japans fault

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:26 | 3387329 unrulian
unrulian's picture

Holy fuck...Cyprus style ...thread jack........i'm sure someone has probably mentioned it already but on pg 155 of Canada's 2013 budget reads as follows:....(i'm scared BTW)

The Government proposes to implement a “bail-in” regime for systemically important banks. This regime will be designed to ensure that, in the unlikely event that a systemically important bank depletes its capital, the bank can be recapitalized and returned to viability through the very rapid conversion of certain bank liabilities (deposits) into regulatory capital.  This will reduce risks for taxpayers.  The Government will consult stakeholders on how best to implement a bail-in regime in Canada.  Implementation timelines will allow for a smooth transition for affected institutions, investors and other market participants. link to doc:
Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:46 | 3387387 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

I'm sorry, but I cannot find any such wording on p155 of the document you have linked.  Please respond as (1) this is an important matter, (2) your credibility is on the line, and (3) I will not be further bothered to read through a bunch of shit published by the retarded government of Canada.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:00 | 3387417 Holleyman
Holleyman's picture

It is on page 144 of the document, not 155

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:10 | 3387450 Manthong
Manthong's picture

ok.. so now you know..

"they" need to preserve the system, no mattter how corrupt or whatever.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 23:59 | 3387765 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Yes, pages 144-5.  Thank you very much for that.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 23:11 | 3387664 unrulian
unrulian's picture

it is very pdf reader was reading page 155...but it is apologies. I did however quote the section directly from the document.

you should print the document for some light reading in the FEMA camp your government will eventually put you in, i do concur my gov't is retarded... but yours is completely fucked

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 00:00 | 3387767 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Yes, got it.  And not that we disagree about 'completely fucked'--far from it; that's why I GTFO back in '96.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 01:38 | 3387854 cpzimmon
cpzimmon's picture

Just the fuckin table of content was 50 pages long. Just sickening.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:10 | 3387446 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Everyone is whistling not even taking into account Canada and it's issues it's hiding along with the UK.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:28 | 3387491 JR
JR's picture

What in the world in this sudden concern with taxpayers? Nobody, and I mean nobody, is concerned with taxpayers except as an excuse for stealing from depositors.

Trust if the government is coinciding with trust in the banks…it is S-I-N-k-i-n-g.

In a new survey of Americans, polling firm Pew Research has found that fewer than 3 out of 10 Americans trust what the government does.

However, there are disparities…

“More than twice as many Hispanics as whites (44 percent vs. 20 percent) trust the federal government, and more blacks (38 percent) than whites trust the government.”

…”and more liberals believe in the administration of President Barack Obama than either independents or Republicans.”

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 00:31 | 3387799 indygo55
indygo55's picture

Yeah but 8 out of ten of them believe in angels.


Fri, 03/29/2013 - 04:12 | 3387931 new game
new game's picture

i can walk on water and i have a loaf of your bread to feed 47 million people.

just doing gods work

looked in the tomb and nobody was there-where is thou great provider?

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 09:46 | 3388059 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

He's been here all along.  It's just that many choose to worship at the altar of commerce First and then give hommage - if at all - to God.  You don't see the connection with the apparent corruption and the lack of that worship?  Honest people love God; honest people are much less likely to lack the moral courage to resist fleecing the sheeple. If we survive the coming tidal wave of fiscal disaster, it will be because there's still enough folks who love the Lord so that He will save us from what we truly deserve.  This is His universe; we just live in it.  Be good.  Be wise.  Put Him first and everything else will take care of itself.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 07:45 | 3388042 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Taxpayers - I think the concern has more to do with governments realizing they can no longer bail out banks with printed money, so they will stick depositers who are essentially taxpayers anyway. Just another way to socialize bankster losses in the gambling pits.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 08:25 | 3388125 css1971
css1971's picture

This is 200 year old news.

Note, before governments got involved with bank bankruptcies, this was normal practice.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 10:47 | 3388455 farco
farco's picture

Thanks a lot for that!

One more information that our local sheeple medias will never talk about.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:32 | 3387345 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

It's ok; you're ok; keep your money in the banks, (you stupid fucking suckers!).

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 04:13 | 3387933 new game
new game's picture

is he hiding in the vault?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:13 | 3386572 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

Is that Panicos Demetriadis running away

To me it looks like Pinnochios Demetriadis, his cousin from ECB/IMF Mafia. I could be wrong.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:11 | 3387268 slingshot
slingshot's picture

Let's worry about something serious

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:53 | 3387403 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Nice dead link you have there.  That aside, are you asserting that the global public should worry about the ravings of a powerless, propagandizing dictator who says such things in order to hold on to his tenuous position?  

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:00 | 3386242 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Its interesting to note that on this New High day, the percentage of UP volume to TOT volume is less than 60%

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:02 | 3386253 MetalFillBoy
MetalFillBoy's picture

Keep an eye on the WSJ money flow at the end of the day.  For weeks now, it has been very negitive.  Quite distribution, IMO.



Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:08 | 3386268 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Cue the dude at the last post FOMC laugh-a-minute presser who asked Ben Bernanke, "Is it too late for me to get in [stocks]?"

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 19:53 | 3387235 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

WOW ~ 'paper asset' market fanatics making cool sentiment calls...


Alex ~ I'll buy that for a joobuck...

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:24 | 3386328 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Fuck me, look at the inflows for the "Financial" sector.  Remind me, exactly what service or product of real value do these fuckers provide again? Here's my contrarian prediction, they are selling the shit out of paper gold and accumulating the real physical.  Selling the shit out stawks to the world and institutional investors.  A one-world currency cannot be that far away now.  < sarc on > Do they sell an ETF for this? < sarc off >

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:36 | 3386373 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

check out the monthly data, all sectors except telecomms have outflows - net c. $27 billion and the market is up 5%.

looks like someone was makring up bids all the way through the month and just getting slapped, but continually marking bids higher.

kind of makes you wonder why they didn't just hit the offer on day 1 at 5% cheaper for that chicken feed amount (in these days of debased currencies, you need to be at least a recognizable fraction of a trillion to be significant).


Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:44 | 3386418 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

So essentilly, in reality there is no fucking bid under this market right now.  Awesome.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:05 | 3386537 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

In a Pré 2007 market that would be a issue...
Obama CHANGED that...

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 07:47 | 3388047 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

There is ALWAYS a bid. Ask Shalom.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 12:33 | 3388659 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

The bitch of it is .... so you make some grand sum of $ ..... BFD ... it is all Monopoly Paper anyways. The day you see the prick's face on the idiot box telling the nation The US Constitution has been declared Null n Void, and Marshall Law is the law of the land, is also the day they declare the $ worthless, and you will get your ration card while you get your "new n improved" Citizen/Comrade ID tabooed on your ass and a tracking chip in your arm. Oh .... and now all your assets belong to the gooberment of USSA.

The bids you see - if you are watching - are as fake as the recovery and the rest of the #s reported by the goober(ment).

We are sooooo fucked, I doubt it any of us know the full extent of it.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:47 | 3386430 MetalFillBoy
MetalFillBoy's picture

I have been following this data for a few years.  Watch for negative money flow on up days; postivie money flow on neg days.  Careful on lookng at OPEX Fridays; numbers can be high (pos or neg), but may mean nothing.  But March OPEX was a HUGE neg money flow day!!  I have NEVER see a number that high.

Like I said. . . .  Quite distribution by those in the know.  Elephants can't move around without leaving foot prints. . . .



Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:00 | 3386509 Cdad
Cdad's picture

I have been commenting on this for a long time.  Selling makes the market rise, buying makes it fall.  This is the new normal, brought to you by the fact that 80% of all trades are computerized wonders.  It's broken...and right now, the theives are pushing with all of their might before they are either regulated away...or they collapse the market.  Either or.  The new millionaires you see struting around on The BlowHorn are....criminals.  

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 04:21 | 3387940 new game
new game's picture

so nothing has changed in how many years? my lifetime at least...

what is it i read pension rotating out of stocks to bonds?

how fucked up is that...

door a or door b?

c=pm squared

theory of financial equilibrium...

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 07:49 | 3388052 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Unless stocks are about to get crushed.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 05:35 | 3387970 Seer
Seer's picture

"Remind me, exactly what service or product of real value do these fuckers provide again?"

Money laundering.

Next question? :-)

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:45 | 3386420 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Volumes are at the lowest for the year today.


Thu, 03/28/2013 - 17:35 | 3386872 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Guess what, that shit goes all the way back to 49, and infinity for you. I had your all's IQ shut down at 61, but i may have to reconsider that now that the bloody war has started in earnest.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:17 | 3386256 Mercury
Mercury's picture

The cap controls alone are sufficient to qualify this for game-changing status. If you can only deploy Cyprus EUR outside the country  in dribbles you might as well not have all of it.

I suspect those will get tighter before they get looser.

How fast can you now move your unimpaired 100,000 EUR account off-island? 100,000 DIV 5000/mo = 20 months?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:17 | 3386305 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You will stay and you will like it.

We will lead you to water and you will drink.


Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:40 | 3386390 Mercury
Mercury's picture

There’s a lot of effort and finagling going on right now within/out these new rules  to convert Cyprus Euros into sizable, seaworthy boats.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:52 | 3387547 rlouis
rlouis's picture

good thing, cuz if everyone runs to one side of the island, it will sink. 

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 03:45 | 3387907 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

~" You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil has to be lead." ~ Stan Laurel

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:10 | 3387443 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

OMG Mercury used [double oo] looser correctly.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:07 | 3386258 Cdad
Cdad's picture

I don't much cotton to no bank bailouts, soze I'm not gonna read the inforgraphic.  Just stopped in to sayze...looks kinda like a template.

Up next...Monti Paschi...

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:07 | 3386266 Mordenkainen
Mordenkainen's picture

Are they trying to compete with Banzai?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:09 | 3386275 Charles Wilson
Charles Wilson's picture

Hey everybody!

I just found this RILLY old thing...a book actually, so you know it's old.  'N in it, they talked about sumpin' called a, get this, a "Free Market"...Yeah, I know, really...

So,  the idea iz that Buyers and Sellers are able to meet 'n exchange stuff BECAUSE THEY WANT TO!


There was this thingie called Say's Law that sez that  something produced (I'm confused on what THAT means...) has a value at the moment it's produced that is equal to...

Hello?...Is anybody out there?  I mean, this is interesting stuff...I'm talkin' here...





Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:15 | 3386296 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Must be a first edition,pre 1913, that they forgot to burn.


Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:25 | 3386335 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Wells Charlie, it's not such a good ideer to go talkin' 'bout things dat old...not with enthusiasm or nuttin'...or people start callin' yer a "tin hatter"...and next things ya noze your chillens 'll be callin' yea up sayin, "Dad...we just found you a lovely apartment for you."  And after dat, some dude named Jerry be handin' ya pills in a paper cup.  And when yooz asks him what he is doin' in yer apartement, he'll be sayin', "cause the State put me here to help you.  Aren't we friends, Charlie?" careful when ya talkin' 'bout free markets and stuff.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:38 | 3386377 Charles Wilson
Charles Wilson's picture

You know...You know Jerry too?!??...

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:08 | 3386533 Cdad
Cdad's picture

I noze him...but we rnt friends tho...he says we are.  My chillens sayze he is real nice, but I keep gettin' all sleepy after he visits.  And i can't figger where my kitchen is eether.  Sumpin' ain't right here...but yaz...i noze jerry.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:23 | 3387482 bigyimmy007
bigyimmy007's picture

Thanks for the laugh.

After a while this shit is so painful you can't cry or feel sad about it anymore, only giggle in hysterics at the madness of it all.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 22:31 | 3387621 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

You won't giggle when Soros, Draghi, Dimon, Blankfein, Bloomberg, Schumer, Feinstein & Co. line you up in front of a ditch. Invest in lead. 

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 03:25 | 3387899 YuropeanImbecille
YuropeanImbecille's picture

Yeah these fucking bloodthirsty satanic yoos

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:44 | 3386712 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Citizen, you may be guilty of a thought crime. Please report to the ministry of new think.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 07:51 | 3388056 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

The Market is an old American folk tale. You should stick to the jooish mythologies for a more accurate accounting of our economy.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:28 | 3386310 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

welcome to the world of dubious and (now) very much out of date data.

total PIIGS plus C bail-outs = 500,000,000,000 so far huh? (half a trillion euros = say half and a bit trillion dollars)

how much have the brits, french, germans, dutch, scandis, danes etc paid out to banks (from tax payers) now? I bet its smaller than in the US, but the US doesn't have a problem?

does this pretty much equate to the salaries and bonuses of all bankers for the last ten years, so this is a direct transfer from the tax payers to the fat banksters (less what the bankster didn't avoid in offshore tax havens of course).

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:28 | 3386645 JR
JR's picture

“Cyprus is a mini model of the world financial system. The IMF, ECB and the politicians thought they could get away with the depositors taking part of the loss. But they have clearly not considered the consequences. This action will not only lead to a run on the Cypriot banks but also on banks in other weak areas such as Ireland, Spain, Portugal, Italy, Greece etc. Eventually it could spread worldwide.

“The IMF, Fed, ECB, BoE, BoJ and other central banks are likely to very soon come out with a concerted action to support the financial system in order to avoid a total collapse.” -- Egon von Greyerz (Matterhorn Asset Management) - March 18 2013 - “Get Your Assets out of the Banks – NOW”

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:20 | 3386316 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

The only picture you need is a giant crack in the earth separating northern and southern Europe. That tells the whole story.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:27 | 3386345 Westcoastliberal
Westcoastliberal's picture

Thanks for playing and please accept these lovely parting gifts.  You are NOT the biggest loser but you ARE the weakest link.  Goodbye.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:07 | 3386546 Relentless
Relentless's picture

Hosted by Merkel

"Gut bye. You are zee veakest link! Please use zee showers on zee left."


Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:28 | 3386346 bebasvemir
bebasvemir's picture

cy is tiny, slovenia is small... still 

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:31 | 3386350 tradertim
tradertim's picture

who's the pig? Angela?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:40 | 3386690 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Ferkel n <-s;> 1. agr. little pig, piglet 2. porker 3. fig. contp. (person) (dirty od. filthy) pig

followed by Ferkelei (dirtiness/smut) and ferkeln (make a mess/talk shit)

Miss Piggy (Frau Ferkel/Merkel) it is...

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 03:28 | 3387900 YuropeanImbecille
YuropeanImbecille's picture

U are really a stupid redneck, do you think Merkel has any say about anything? Or could it be the yoo overlords that tell her what to think, say and eat?

Jesus christ people are stupid, thats why we are in this bloody mess in the first place!



I hope you lose your job, and your kids die in a fucking ditch, because honestly we dont need your retard DNA were we are going.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 06:04 | 3387984 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Oh don't blame Merkel, she's just a poor little cunt quota-monkey, she can't possibly be held accountable for her actions since she isn't a man...

But blaming the Jews is fine...


Did the poor little Nazi untermench not get enough government cheese this month?

It's fine if you don't appreciate my sense of humor, but when your laughable manifestation of thin skin and sloppy intellect resorts to wishing ill towards people you don't know and have never met, you demonstrate the inferiority of both your methods and your personal capacities.  Be thankful you don't matter.  





Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:30 | 3386355 Wanton1
Wanton1's picture

Cypriots, rejoice!
All is not lost.

FEMA is available for 'final solutions' . . .

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:34 | 3386367 JR
JR's picture

Ronny and Malarkey, they're a devious firm
They'll take you to the cleaners, let you burn
The help is breaking dishes in the kitchen,
thanks a lot
We hired the worst dishwasher
this place ever got
Hidden below the radar, they want to spoil our fun?..
In the meantime, I'm cleaning my gun…

There are entertaining songs and lyrics that can morph into deadly serious songs and lyrics. Banzai7’s latest is a world classic set to music by Mark Knopfler but beyond that it drives home the point: "you can’t beat the house," the dice are loaded.

What kind of world is this…?

Jon Kofas asked and answered some of the questions on March 24, 2013 (excerpts here out of context) in his magnum opus, CYPRUS IN THE GLOBAL CONTEXT: ECONOMICS AND GEOPOLITICS, noting that it was the EU-IMF team that “essentially forced Cyprus to participate in the Greek bond purchase”:


“What about the fact that Cyprus ranks 114th in the world in money-laundering operations while Germany ranks 64th [the U.S. poses a greater risk at 98th-highest risk level, Switzerland 72nd highest]! And if Cyprus is the problem, what about the massive bank scandals in some of the largest Western EU banks? Would imposing austerity on Cyprus solve the problem of money laundering or transfer it to Malta, Liechtenstein, Monaco, Austria, and Italy, all on the US State Department list of major money laundering countries in the EU?

“Does the case of Cyprus bring to the foreground the struggle between neoliberal ideologues who want to scale back Keynesian economics as they have been doing since Bretton-Woods in the mid-1940s, or is it simply a case of the strong nations draining capital from the weaker ones to pay for the crisis that started in 2008 and redefining the integration model of development?

“How can a country that has a debt to GDP ratio ranking 26th in the world, or lower than about 175 other nations, including Japan, U.S. among some of the largest ones, have a debt problem that threatens its economic viability?...

“Added to the global recession, the European debt crisis and specifically the Greek fiscal and banking crisis made matters worse for Cyprus. Borrowing costs rose sharply, but it was not until the EU-IMF team essentially forced Cyprus to participate in the Greek bond purchase, and then to accept a 'haircut' of those bonds, which placed the banks in serious trouble. In 2012, credit rating houses downgraded Cyprus, essentially cutting off the credit supply from international money markets, thus forcing the government to ask for a bailout from the EU and IMF in July 2012 - Cyprus becoming the fifth eurozone country to ask for a bailout. Given that Cyprus has massive natural gas reserves that have been discovered recently, the debt of the country is very manageable, and the money to bail it out is so small that just about every analyst who has looked into this matter concludes it is largely politically symbolic. But why didn't Greece help Cyprus, why did it side with Germany and the IMF on austerity?

Says Kofas:  During the Eurogroup meeting when the IMF and Germany determined the terms for Cypriot bailout, Greece went along with the proposals. Fear of not going along with the IMF and EU would have meant dire consequences. Greece could have helped out Cyprus politically as well as with a Bank of Greece loan of two billion euros. That would have meant alienating Germany and IMF, and raised questions about Greece's commitment to austerity. By going along with the IMF-EU austerity on Cyprus, Greece stands to have short-term gains, in so far as Greek capitalists can purchase Cypriot assets on the cheap. Already the branches in Greece of two Cypriot banks - Bank of Cyprus and Laiki Bank - are planning to transfer over to a Greek-owned bank.”

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:46 | 3386426 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

It was reported that 5 containers were sent from the ECB to meet the cash withdrawl demands of the Cypriot population. It makes you wonder why they couldn't send that amount in the first place and avoid the total cave in of the country.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:05 | 3386534 The Abstraction...
The Abstraction of Justice's picture

Goess some Russian oligarch's mum made $2 billion an hour working at her computer.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:44 | 3387526 knukles
knukles's picture

In her spare time at home in New Jersey which takes her out of unemployed but back into the workforce thereby necessitating a new benchmark revision to the US jobs data which will show that over the past 5 years the economy has either saved or made over 1,377,286,988.5 jobs requiring the Census Bureau to triple the number of Americans to ensure not having a negative unemployment number.
Annabelle Goshbygolly, the newly appointed temporary head of the newly established Department of Sophist Statistics was quoted as saying; "Lemme get back to you on that. Does next year work for you? Works for me. Your new address is Guantanamo Bay, right?"

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 05:53 | 3387979 Seer
Seer's picture

This was all about forcing out the Russians.

I'd really thought that Russia had the better hand, but now I'm wondering whether I overlooked the power of the internal EU arm-twisting.  Still believe, however, that Cyprus is going to fail (already talking about a second bailout!) and that THEN the Russians will come back in; BUT, the big benefit to the Russians is that the Cyprus NG isn't developed quickly (some projections are that it would be 20 years? if that's true then the pressure might be off of Russia a bit, as I'm doubting that a 20-year plan is going to hold, especially when it's tied into a customer base that is rapidly deteriorating).

In the BIG PICTURE this is about a war between the "planners," the "banksters," and the "suppliers," the "mob [Russian in this case]."  I'm thinking that the "planners" are losing control over the "suppliers" and that this is one of the last battles before the inevitable "transition" (from the virtual to the physical).  The EU is desperate because it's out of PHYSICAL: this is why they're teaming up to concoct the most idiotic shit, stuff that clearly is a sign that they're grasping at straws.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 07:54 | 3388064 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Perhaps it will be the Chinese that "come back". After all, a new naval base for the Asians would send a huge message to those who think the dollar is still king.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:34 | 3386527 falak pema
falak pema's picture

while we trash the Cyprus carcass one more time here is what corporate america says to the world : 

Closing Bell, March 28, 2013 - Business Insider

S&P : 1569...

a day in history or  day in QE-infamy? 

Meanwhile, EZ sharpens its pencil to puncture the Banksta bubble "manu militari"?

BAIL-INS! Austerity european style ! Despotism and "presumption of guilt" if you hold money in banksta accounts!

PS : Having qualified Cyprus coverage per se as dead carcass bashing (not its consequences on Euro level), I would like our TDs to now admit that the BANK RUN so ominously announced all over the NET, proclaiming the day the banks open in Cyprus would start the end of Euro union, has not occurred. "I have nothing but blood, sweat and tears to propose to you on the beaches of Cyprus when the banks open and the bulls run into the sea!" Has not occurred. Churchill can rest in peace again. 

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 22:52 | 3387661 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

Churchill rots in hell. And I suspect the Euro-muppets are mesmerized by the Jewbox/Jewbux, same as most Ameri-muppets. 

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:14 | 3386564 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

Is that Panicos Demetriadis running away

To me it looks like Pinnochios Demetriadis, his cousin from ECB/IMF Mafia. I could be wrong.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:25 | 3386632 Essential Intel...
Essential Intelligence's picture


TBTF: To Big To Fail i.e. Financially, for bankruptcy. TBTJ: To Big To Jail The Basic definition of a Monarchy is TBTF+TBTJ, because only the Monarch cannot be Jailed and only the Monarch cannot be declared bankrupt. Add to that:
1. Foreclosures, in many cases unjustified, illegal, thus broad daylight robberies.
2. Interest rate apartheid 3. Loan approval apartheid 4. Insider information apartheid 
5. The Fed's self-serving.
6. The Dodd-Frank act definition of "special entity".

 ...JPM & GS may be then financial sovereigns, rather not financial terrorists, 
i.e. an accomplished coup-d'etat. 
When Banks are allowed to tax the population, then banks have become sovereigns, thus it is no surprise banks have been declared by the Dodd-Frank act special entities,which then in turn already implies at least a nobility. Banking nobility is employed chiefly across the Angloshpere since it wouldn't subject itself to other countries to do their internal bidding of wealth confiscation. That's while over western Europe, which is essentially militarily occupied by Anglo-America, hierarchical constellations are employed in order to hide the true masters, thus drowning the public anger and retribution away from the true masters. Read all about it here:


Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:55 | 3386748 JR
JR's picture

and the U.S. government declares Iran's central bank a criminal organization...while it rewards criminal bankers with trillions in bailouts and interest-free loans and gives insolvent investment bankers such as Morgan Stanley and Goldman bank-holding status to change their regulatory agency from the SEC to the FED...

Bankers Get Death Penalty After $2.6B Scandal

March 06, 2013   AFP  by Pete Papaherakles

The outcome of the biggest banking fraud case in Iran’s history was made official on February 18. According to Associated Press, four bankers have been sentenced to death in Iran for their role in a $2.6B scandal, while two more bankers were given life sentences, and 33 more accomplices will spend up to 25 years in jail, the chief prosecutor was quoted as saying. This is the biggest banking fraud in Iran’s history, and the stiff decision reveals that the bankers in Iran don’t run the country.

Iran’s Supreme Court upheld the sentence passed at the trial last summer. Attorney General Gholam-Hossein Mohseni-Ejei told reporters that the four bankers were guilty of corruption and “disrupting the country’s economic system.” The scandal involved the use of forged documents in order to receive credit from banks, which enabled them to purchase state-owned companies.

Iran’s PressTV said that, according to the indictment, the owners of Aria Investment Development Company, which has 35 offshoots active in diverse business activities, had bribed bank managers to get loans and letters of credit.

The four people sentenced to death include Aria President Mahafarid Amir-Khosravi, his legal adviser, Behdad Behzadi, his financial solicitor, Iraj Shoja and the head of the Ahvaz branch of Saderat Bank, Saeed Kiani Rezazadeh. The president of the Bank Melli branch in the city of Kish was sent to prison for life. Former Deputy Minister Khodamorad Ahmadi has been sentenced to 10 years in prison. Several others involved have also been slapped with heavy fines and many have also been prohibited from holding public office. …

In contrast, the United States has refused to sentence its own bankers, who are responsible for the current economic crisis, or even fine them, although overwhelming evidence exists of their guilt.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 00:18 | 3387788 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

Yep, but the Iranians want to destroy us for our freedoms, so they bad.

Amerikuh FUCK YEA!

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 05:57 | 3387981 Seer
Seer's picture

Maybe we need a campaign to print out this article and plaster it on ALL banks?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:28 | 3386646 YC2
YC2's picture

I just realized sector is an anagram of escort.  Neat!

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:37 | 3386684 falak pema
falak pema's picture

does sector hump as much as escort?

anagrams should show solidarity in dat thingie! 

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 05:59 | 3387982 Seer
Seer's picture

The "cyclical" in the sector does go up...

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:35 | 3386675 Legolas
Legolas's picture

FWIW, Suntrust online banking is not available.  I only note this because others have noted similar events with other financial institutions this week.



Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:38 | 3386687 msamour
msamour's picture

Sorry if this seems like spaming, but the Harper government in Canada intends on stealing depositor accounts in the 2013 budget. Here is the text that can be found here:


"The Government proposes to implement a “bail-in” regime for systemically important banks. This regime will be designed to ensure that, in the unlikely event that a systemically important bank depletes its capital, the bank can be recapitalized and returned to viability through the very rapid conversion of certain bank liabilities into regulatory capital. This will reduce risks for taxpayers. The Government will consult stakeholders on how best to implement a bail-in regime in Canada. Implementation timelines will allow for a smooth transition for affected institutions, investors and other market participants."


To me this screams of a "Carte Blanche" to seize money out of Canadian depositors accounts.


Could anyone with access to one of the Tylers grab his/their attention and post this.


Thank you.



Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:44 | 3386706 e_goldstein
Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:47 | 3386724 knicks3005
knicks3005's picture

I'm..........just so disappointed there is no bank run.

My faith in humanity has gone down the shitter.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 17:16 | 3386804 dexter_morgan
dexter_morgan's picture

most people don't have money in banks beyond what they need to pay bills, do they? Why would you? No benefit to having it in 'savings'.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 19:52 | 3387236 cristo
cristo's picture

retirement accounts ?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:51 | 3387399 Things that go bump
Things that go bump's picture

Eaten up by inflation if they don't just force you into bonds and promise you an annuity. Ask my mother. She thought they had enough saved up for retirement, not a lavish retirement, but they would be able to maintain respectability. Now, she has to count her pennies and deny herself her little pleasures.  

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:59 | 3386757 Dre4dwolf
Dre4dwolf's picture

I play sim city, this doesn't end well.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 17:05 | 3386771 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture

thats exactly what it says, on Canada,  ive stopped all investment recommendations there 

looking for another depository country, any suggestions?  all point to Fortress Singapore....

note how they central banks in canada siezed Kitko and Gold...


Thu, 03/28/2013 - 19:55 | 3387245 cristo
cristo's picture

try the country of mattress

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:41 | 3387373 Tunga
Tunga's picture

Can you print that in 3-D?


Fri, 03/29/2013 - 06:01 | 3387983 Seer
Seer's picture

Mattresses and triple Ds kind of makes me think of...

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 17:37 | 3386881 FreeNewEnergy
FreeNewEnergy's picture

Had my own bank run today. Another tomorrow and will repeat as needed. People pay me with checks and electrons, so I have to convert.

Yeah, I'm a sinner.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 19:43 | 3387217 cristo
cristo's picture

The Government of Canada just got into the "BAIL-IN" game in the just released 2013 budget .

A copy of the budget that can be found online at .
press F3 and type Bail to find the section .

Economic Action Plan 2013 will implement a comprehensive risk management framework for Canada’s systemically important banks.
Canada’s large banks are a source of strength for the Canadian economy. Our large banks have become increasingly successful in international markets, creating jobs at home.
The Government also recognizes the need to manage the risks associated with systemically important banks–those banks whose distress or failure could cause a disruption to the financial system and, in turn, negative impacts on the economy. This requires strong prudential oversight and a robust set of options for resolving these institutions without the use of taxpayer funds, in the unlikely event that one becomes non-viable.
The Government intends to implement a comprehensive risk management framework for Canada’s systemically important banks. This framework will be consistent with reforms in other countries and key international standards, such as the Financial Stability Board’s Key Attributes of Effective Resolution Regimes for Financial Institutions, and will work alongside the existing Canadian regulatory capital regime. The risk management framework will include the following elements:
Systemically important banks will face a higher capital requirement, as determined by the Superintendent of Financial Institutions.
The Government proposes to implement a “bail-in” regime for systemically important banks. This regime will be designed to ensure that, in the unlikely event that a systemically important bank depletes its capital, the bank can be recapitalized and returned to viability through the very rapid conversion of certain bank liabilities into regulatory capital. This will reduce risks for taxpayers. The Government will consult stakeholders on how best to implement a bail-in regime in Canada. Implementation timelines will allow for a smooth transition for affected institutions, investors and other market participants.
Systemically important banks will continue to be subject to existing risk management requirements, including enhanced supervision and recovery and resolution plans.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 22:10 | 3387575 andyupnorth
andyupnorth's picture

Oh crap!

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 00:04 | 3387769 zjxn06
zjxn06's picture

Carney left his mark on the Canuucks.  Now it's time to Mark the Brits. God's work!

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 19:43 | 3387220 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

    Long 'Dodge ball', Bitchez.  Where's my Kleenex®

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:05 | 3387264 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture



Here is a an interesting take on how good the US economy and banking sector is doing:

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 06:51 | 3387999 falak pema
falak pema's picture

P C Roberts hits it out of the ball park. Here is his spiel in brief :

Currently the FED generates  by its mad ongoing plays :

1° dollar bubble

2° Bond bubble

3° Asset bubble

All hinging around Pax Americana hegemonic play since 1971 print; now epitomised by FED QE/ZIRP to save the marked value of 250 T of derivatve interest arb products which are made to look "good" by ZIRP negative interest.

The current balance sheets of all US big banks are totally bogus to a point that is unknown as the net out value of the notational derivative pile is not clearly understood, but should be ominous and beyond the capablity of the economy.

The 85 B $/month FED printing to buy up toxic debt paper from banks only increases the bubble as this means an annual addtion of $ denominated debt on its books to the amount of 1T/yr accrual; added to existing level of 3T debt on FED book.

This "bail out" of private oligarchy banking sector by FED, its ongoing socialisation on public sector books, is unsustainable, 'cos the US is already deep in chronic balance of payment deficits relative to CHina etc. ; all this fueled on the NWO- Reaganomics based "labour arbitrage" outsourcing meme since over 20 years, disguised as so called FREE TRADE globalisation.

This whole Walmart model goes belly up the day the $ value plunges as the consumer will no longer be able to afford "cheap" chinese goods now too expensive for people with stagnant $ denominated revenues.  The end of the labour arbitrage model is also the inevitable outcome in so called free trade, as the real interest rate spike that will result  due to bubbles popping one day as the FED will have no choice. US economy will have to reinvent in a state of financial/economic attrition.

The day the BRICS decide to pull out of $ denominated trade, of which we see the regional frameworks already appearing in Asia as in Russia, the fED bubble levitation becomes unsustainable and the ZIRP interests rates MOVE UP to save the $ exchange rate, CAUSING THE COLLAPSE OF ALL THREE PAX AMERICANA BUBBLES : $/BONDS/WS ASSETS.

Its the end of the US economy as we understand it as there is no collective way out, the FED is boxed in and the totally dependent PDs ( big 5 banks) with it, as they are totally hooked on FED fiat steroids.

Two other interesting points on the geopolitical financial front :

1° The normal "safe haven" strategy  for investors in this framework is PM. It should be a rising bull market fed by the ongoing FED shenanigans. The fact that its capped below 1700 currently is that the PDs, (JPM and GS), are actively shorting PM plays to keep its price down. As the physiclal PM market is tiny in comparison to hugely leveraged USD fiat, they have the clout to do that to protect the FED  mad plays in bubbleonomics. No safe haven there in US.

2° The Cyprus situation has created the precedence of bail-ins, aka making normal depositors categorised by new definition as the risk share holders in the banks where they put their money. If this model is generalised, it means that in addition to Bail outs, where the CBs played games to save banks by socialising the private debt, the same CB/govt. authorities can now use the bail ins to seize depositor assets and pension fund assets in the banking system on a generalised basis on both sides of the pond. If this precedence is used then all developed world governments and CBs can authorise LEGAL seizure of bank deposits and pensions on an arbitrary basis to further save the unsaveable banking system!

This is, as shown in both Greece (bail out) and Cyprus (bail in) the future templates for killing the private wealth of investors/individuals/corporates VIA bypassing of the elected parliamentary/congressional authorisation mechanims of democracy; based on pure executive order plays; aka the end of democracy in the west! 

And there is no way out as the Pax Americana model today of bubbleonomics is boxed in and totally toxically virulent, day after day increasing its debt spewing on the real world economy. 

Awesome summary. Bravo PCR. 

Thnks for the link.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:27 | 3387320 Professorlocknload
Professorlocknload's picture


Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:39 | 3387366 Tunga
Tunga's picture

If the government takes all your money for you then you won't have to worry about losing it. 
Worried about losing it?
Wait... that didn't sound right.
Whose worried? Not Tunga.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 22:10 | 3387461 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Somewhat lame but fair article about BitCoin

BitCoin on Bloomberg Business Week

"Pseudonymous" hacker Satoshi Nakamoto. Wonder if she knows Tyler Durden

BitCoin all time high today: High:$95.70000 as in almost everyday

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:50 | 3387542 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

Tyler has been correct on Gold but from the SPX bottom I think there are a few perma bulls who sadly need to be mentioned -- think of what's his name with the raspy voice who has regularly been mocked on ZH, or former Blackrock dude who looks like a priest or the smarmy guy from the mid west etc etc 

That miserable group of perma bulls have knocked it out of the park whilst the the more cynical observers have in fact missed the forest for the dead wood trees. 

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 23:00 | 3387673 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Next step by the Kleptoligarchies:  ending paper and coin currency, forcing electronic payments and credits in banks only.

My guess is the only currency will be (say in the U.S.) nickle, dime, quarter and large $5 and $10 coins (like the half-dollar and dollar), with withdrawal and exchange limits (for garage sales, pool tables, and the like).

The sheer weight and volume of coins will make it nearly impossible to have any sizable amount physically held or used for purchases.

Coins will not be taken at grocery stores and other retailers, only plastic cards, and everything will be self-checkout.

Outlawing precious metal transactions of course, or taxing any sales starting with dealers and brokers.

The cat is indeed out of the bag; the end game is confiscation, capture, and control.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 06:05 | 3387986 Seer
Seer's picture

We're talking about Federal Reserve money are we not?  I think they need to get ALL of it back!

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 23:52 | 3387751 honestann
honestann's picture

This is an IQ test.  Anyone in the eurozone who has an IQ below 80 will leave money in their bank.

The result of this eurozone wide IQ test will confirm to the predators-DBA-government and predators-DBA-centralbanks that roughly 98% to 99% of humans in the eurozone have an IQ below 80.

Anyone on earth with an IQ above 80 will convert all bank accounts and all other forms of paper wealth into real, physical assets in their own grubby paws.

It is AMAZING how stooopid modern humans are.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 00:17 | 3387787 The Heart
The Heart's picture

Hi Ann, thanks for that.

Yes, what is even more amazing is the media propaganda machine that put the nation to sleep, or into a mind controlled walking dead state of being. It is easier to turn on the TV, than it is to do some real research and truth seeking.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 00:34 | 3387804 mkhs
mkhs's picture

No, it is not. 

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 00:36 | 3387806 rehypothecator
rehypothecator's picture

Isn't it odd how the quoted prices for barbarous relics of various persuasions have such wildly different prices?  Netdania is all over the place (but especially lower) while kitco shows a gap higher, and the usual suspect relic retailers all show different prices?  Normally they are within a dime of each other, but not tonight. What (exactly) the heck is going on?  

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 02:17 | 3387873 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

My guess would be they are playing off their level of trust, trying to get as much above spot as possible; or they bought different quantities at different price levels and trying to maximize profits.

Some wacky over spot prices though that I just won't bite at.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 09:08 | 3388217 Seer
Seer's picture

"It is AMAZING how stooopid modern humans are."

You're astounded by the reaction of rats in a cage?

The ENTIRE premise by which we are operating under is absurd.  That one should think it absurd that people act in an absurd system in absurd ways is, well, I think it quite absurd.

The IQs of the ringleaders, I assure you, are NOT low.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 00:13 | 3387763 The Heart
The Heart's picture

Let us all be vigilant and watchful for some sort of false flag event happening over the Easter time, and praying nothing will happen at the same time. Besides the prices of oil going up, which usually indicates something bad is going to happen soon, there is this awful bad history of the babylonians doing some sort of shocking event on Easter. Why is that? And why are so many military vehicles being transported west across the US countryside on trains and diesel flat bed trucks at night?


Fri, 03/29/2013 - 00:24 | 3387790 Eally Ucked
Eally Ucked's picture

If you want those gangsters not to escape just pull your money out before them, it's so simple. It does not matter if it's in Cyprus or anywhere else.


Fri, 03/29/2013 - 00:51 | 3387822 Rusty Shorts
Fri, 03/29/2013 - 03:22 | 3387897 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

Imagine if Cyprus bankers only allocated their wives a withdrawl of one kiss a day? I would short those bankers futures.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 05:05 | 3387959 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

The Germans are so so lucky Britain never joined the Euro or the German Economy would have imploded by now. If Cyprus has a bloated banking sector relative to GDP how would TARGET2 look if Britain had been Super Credit Cycle on German credit ratings ?

It would be good Tyler if you would include in your Bailout/Bailin Charts the amount each National Authority has put into propping up Banks inckuding the amount Germany has pumped into Commerzbank, HSH, WestLB, Depfa, HVB, NordLB etc. Then we could see the limits of National Sovereign Bailout before extra "Equity" is required from external sources.

The UK has expropriated £220 billion from Savers since 2009 plus issuing over £1 Trillion in support to Banks. They are gouging Customers by suppressing Deposit rates and hiking Credit Rates through Credit rationing so distressed borrowers are screwed and Government then hikes taxes to squeeze the Citizen from both ends.

Your Charts need to analyse depper by linking the strands. so far you approach as a Seagull looking down whereas you should look upwards from Joe the Plumber and see how it is ALL bearing down on him as Liabilities are piled onto his shoulders from above



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