The Definitive Cyprus Bailout Infographic

Tyler Durden's picture


Everything you wanted to know about the 'unique, exceptional, non-template, toolbox-of-blueprint-instruments' bailout of Cyprus but were afraid to read more than 100 words.


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Thu, 03/28/2013 - 14:59 | 3386236 Belrev
Belrev's picture

Is that Panicos Demetriadis running away?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:20 | 3386319 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

Runningawaydos Tomeetthereli's (in Tahitit)?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:08 | 3387277 american eyedol
american eyedol's picture

its all bush's and japans fault

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:26 | 3387329 unrulian
unrulian's picture

Holy fuck...Cyprus style ...thread jack........i'm sure someone has probably mentioned it already but on pg 155 of Canada's 2013 budget reads as follows:....(i'm scared BTW)

The Government proposes to implement a “bail-in” regime for systemically important banks. This regime will be designed to ensure that, in the unlikely event that a systemically important bank depletes its capital, the bank can be recapitalized and returned to viability through the very rapid conversion of certain bank liabilities (deposits) into regulatory capital.  This will reduce risks for taxpayers.  The Government will consult stakeholders on how best to implement a bail-in regime in Canada.  Implementation timelines will allow for a smooth transition for affected institutions, investors and other market participants. link to doc:
Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:46 | 3387387 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

I'm sorry, but I cannot find any such wording on p155 of the document you have linked.  Please respond as (1) this is an important matter, (2) your credibility is on the line, and (3) I will not be further bothered to read through a bunch of shit published by the retarded government of Canada.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:00 | 3387417 Holleyman
Holleyman's picture

It is on page 144 of the document, not 155

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:10 | 3387450 Manthong
Manthong's picture

ok.. so now you know..

"they" need to preserve the system, no mattter how corrupt or whatever.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 23:59 | 3387765 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Yes, pages 144-5.  Thank you very much for that.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 23:11 | 3387664 unrulian
unrulian's picture

it is very pdf reader was reading page 155...but it is apologies. I did however quote the section directly from the document.

you should print the document for some light reading in the FEMA camp your government will eventually put you in, i do concur my gov't is retarded... but yours is completely fucked

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 00:00 | 3387767 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Yes, got it.  And not that we disagree about 'completely fucked'--far from it; that's why I GTFO back in '96.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 01:38 | 3387854 cpzimmon
cpzimmon's picture

Just the fuckin table of content was 50 pages long. Just sickening.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:10 | 3387446 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

Everyone is whistling not even taking into account Canada and it's issues it's hiding along with the UK.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:28 | 3387491 JR
JR's picture

What in the world in this sudden concern with taxpayers? Nobody, and I mean nobody, is concerned with taxpayers except as an excuse for stealing from depositors.

Trust if the government is coinciding with trust in the banks…it is S-I-N-k-i-n-g.

In a new survey of Americans, polling firm Pew Research has found that fewer than 3 out of 10 Americans trust what the government does.

However, there are disparities…

“More than twice as many Hispanics as whites (44 percent vs. 20 percent) trust the federal government, and more blacks (38 percent) than whites trust the government.”

…”and more liberals believe in the administration of President Barack Obama than either independents or Republicans.”

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 00:31 | 3387799 indygo55
indygo55's picture

Yeah but 8 out of ten of them believe in angels.


Fri, 03/29/2013 - 04:12 | 3387931 new game
new game's picture

i can walk on water and i have a loaf of your bread to feed 47 million people.

just doing gods work

looked in the tomb and nobody was there-where is thou great provider?

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 09:46 | 3388059 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

He's been here all along.  It's just that many choose to worship at the altar of commerce First and then give hommage - if at all - to God.  You don't see the connection with the apparent corruption and the lack of that worship?  Honest people love God; honest people are much less likely to lack the moral courage to resist fleecing the sheeple. If we survive the coming tidal wave of fiscal disaster, it will be because there's still enough folks who love the Lord so that He will save us from what we truly deserve.  This is His universe; we just live in it.  Be good.  Be wise.  Put Him first and everything else will take care of itself.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 07:45 | 3388042 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Taxpayers - I think the concern has more to do with governments realizing they can no longer bail out banks with printed money, so they will stick depositers who are essentially taxpayers anyway. Just another way to socialize bankster losses in the gambling pits.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 08:25 | 3388125 css1971
css1971's picture

This is 200 year old news.

Note, before governments got involved with bank bankruptcies, this was normal practice.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 10:47 | 3388455 farco
farco's picture

Thanks a lot for that!

One more information that our local sheeple medias will never talk about.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:32 | 3387345 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

It's ok; you're ok; keep your money in the banks, (you stupid fucking suckers!).

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 04:13 | 3387933 new game
new game's picture

is he hiding in the vault?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:13 | 3386572 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

Is that Panicos Demetriadis running away

To me it looks like Pinnochios Demetriadis, his cousin from ECB/IMF Mafia. I could be wrong.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:11 | 3387268 slingshot
slingshot's picture

Let's worry about something serious

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 20:53 | 3387403 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Nice dead link you have there.  That aside, are you asserting that the global public should worry about the ravings of a powerless, propagandizing dictator who says such things in order to hold on to his tenuous position?  

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:00 | 3386242 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Its interesting to note that on this New High day, the percentage of UP volume to TOT volume is less than 60%

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:02 | 3386253 MetalFillBoy
MetalFillBoy's picture

Keep an eye on the WSJ money flow at the end of the day.  For weeks now, it has been very negitive.  Quite distribution, IMO.



Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:08 | 3386268 Cdad
Cdad's picture

Cue the dude at the last post FOMC laugh-a-minute presser who asked Ben Bernanke, "Is it too late for me to get in [stocks]?"

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 19:53 | 3387235 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

WOW ~ 'paper asset' market fanatics making cool sentiment calls...


Alex ~ I'll buy that for a joobuck...

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:24 | 3386328 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Fuck me, look at the inflows for the "Financial" sector.  Remind me, exactly what service or product of real value do these fuckers provide again? Here's my contrarian prediction, they are selling the shit out of paper gold and accumulating the real physical.  Selling the shit out stawks to the world and institutional investors.  A one-world currency cannot be that far away now.  < sarc on > Do they sell an ETF for this? < sarc off >

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:36 | 3386373 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

check out the monthly data, all sectors except telecomms have outflows - net c. $27 billion and the market is up 5%.

looks like someone was makring up bids all the way through the month and just getting slapped, but continually marking bids higher.

kind of makes you wonder why they didn't just hit the offer on day 1 at 5% cheaper for that chicken feed amount (in these days of debased currencies, you need to be at least a recognizable fraction of a trillion to be significant).


Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:44 | 3386418 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

So essentilly, in reality there is no fucking bid under this market right now.  Awesome.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:05 | 3386537 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

In a Pré 2007 market that would be a issue...
Obama CHANGED that...

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 07:47 | 3388047 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

There is ALWAYS a bid. Ask Shalom.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 12:33 | 3388659 DoneThis2Long
DoneThis2Long's picture

The bitch of it is .... so you make some grand sum of $ ..... BFD ... it is all Monopoly Paper anyways. The day you see the prick's face on the idiot box telling the nation The US Constitution has been declared Null n Void, and Marshall Law is the law of the land, is also the day they declare the $ worthless, and you will get your ration card while you get your "new n improved" Citizen/Comrade ID tabooed on your ass and a tracking chip in your arm. Oh .... and now all your assets belong to the gooberment of USSA.

The bids you see - if you are watching - are as fake as the recovery and the rest of the #s reported by the goober(ment).

We are sooooo fucked, I doubt it any of us know the full extent of it.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:47 | 3386430 MetalFillBoy
MetalFillBoy's picture

I have been following this data for a few years.  Watch for negative money flow on up days; postivie money flow on neg days.  Careful on lookng at OPEX Fridays; numbers can be high (pos or neg), but may mean nothing.  But March OPEX was a HUGE neg money flow day!!  I have NEVER see a number that high.

Like I said. . . .  Quite distribution by those in the know.  Elephants can't move around without leaving foot prints. . . .



Thu, 03/28/2013 - 16:00 | 3386509 Cdad
Cdad's picture

I have been commenting on this for a long time.  Selling makes the market rise, buying makes it fall.  This is the new normal, brought to you by the fact that 80% of all trades are computerized wonders.  It's broken...and right now, the theives are pushing with all of their might before they are either regulated away...or they collapse the market.  Either or.  The new millionaires you see struting around on The BlowHorn are....criminals.  

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 04:21 | 3387940 new game
new game's picture

so nothing has changed in how many years? my lifetime at least...

what is it i read pension rotating out of stocks to bonds?

how fucked up is that...

door a or door b?

c=pm squared

theory of financial equilibrium...

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 07:49 | 3388052 Go Tribe
Go Tribe's picture

Unless stocks are about to get crushed.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 05:35 | 3387970 Seer
Seer's picture

"Remind me, exactly what service or product of real value do these fuckers provide again?"

Money laundering.

Next question? :-)

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:45 | 3386420 DavidC
DavidC's picture

Volumes are at the lowest for the year today.


Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:17 | 3386256 Mercury
Mercury's picture

The cap controls alone are sufficient to qualify this for game-changing status. If you can only deploy Cyprus EUR outside the country  in dribbles you might as well not have all of it.

I suspect those will get tighter before they get looser.

How fast can you now move your unimpaired 100,000 EUR account off-island? 100,000 DIV 5000/mo = 20 months?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:17 | 3386305 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

You will stay and you will like it.

We will lead you to water and you will drink.


Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:40 | 3386390 Mercury
Mercury's picture

There’s a lot of effort and finagling going on right now within/out these new rules  to convert Cyprus Euros into sizable, seaworthy boats.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:52 | 3387547 rlouis
rlouis's picture

good thing, cuz if everyone runs to one side of the island, it will sink. 

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 03:45 | 3387907 Theosebes Goodfellow
Theosebes Goodfellow's picture

~" You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil has to be lead." ~ Stan Laurel

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 21:10 | 3387443 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

OMG Mercury used [double oo] looser correctly.

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:07 | 3386258 Cdad
Cdad's picture

I don't much cotton to no bank bailouts, soze I'm not gonna read the inforgraphic.  Just stopped in to sayze...looks kinda like a template.

Up next...Monti Paschi...

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:07 | 3386266 Mordenkainen
Mordenkainen's picture

Are they trying to compete with Banzai?

Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:09 | 3386275 Charles Wilson
Charles Wilson's picture

Hey everybody!

I just found this RILLY old thing...a book actually, so you know it's old.  'N in it, they talked about sumpin' called a, get this, a "Free Market"...Yeah, I know, really...

So,  the idea iz that Buyers and Sellers are able to meet 'n exchange stuff BECAUSE THEY WANT TO!


There was this thingie called Say's Law that sez that  something produced (I'm confused on what THAT means...) has a value at the moment it's produced that is equal to...

Hello?...Is anybody out there?  I mean, this is interesting stuff...I'm talkin' here...





Thu, 03/28/2013 - 15:15 | 3386296 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

Must be a first edition,pre 1913, that they forgot to burn.


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