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North Korea Says It Enters "War" Against South Korea, And North Korea Kaption Kontest
Ordinarily this would be Good Friday humor (unless we are very wrong, and it turns out to be Good Friday Global Thermonuclear War) because when one cries wolf a few too many times, this is what happens (from Yonhap):
North Korea announced Saturday that it has entered a state of war against South Korea.
In a special statement, the North said it will deal with every inter-Korean issue in a wartime manner.
And... nothing. In fact, if the market was open the ES would likely ramp limit up on the non-news. By now the world is so numb to the constant provocations by North Korea's confused leader, who is desperate to be finally paid off as nuisance value by the Western powers, that the most he can extract from anyone is laughter when one wonders if the iMac sitting on the desk of glorious leader wasn't hacked by some brand new FBI-launched virus issuing world war 8-Ks and press releases (although with the Ethernet cable unplugged, "no risk" of that as Geithner would say).
Speaking of, here is tonight's caption contest:
Glorious leader hard at work hatching his devious global domination plans.
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banzai could put that Obama photo-op on the other side of this one...
http://img-fotki.yandex.ru/get/4127/98390660.10e/0_d3d50_98c6589d_orig.jpg
Fluorescent green, nice camoflage, asshole.
Those jumpsuits are for when you are fighting an unconventional urban war against Ali G in a nightclub in Ibiza.
are those j-high school kids parading around in fatigues in some of those pics?
Wait, I can't see it, where's the fucking outboard? Give him a couple of tickets to see the Heat and let's be done with this bullshit.
http://img-fotki.yandex.ru/get/5643/98390660.10e/0_d3d5a_9620fea4_orig.jpg
This fat lard is ALWAYS smoking. How unattractive!
The Ukraine is weak! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzLtF_PxbYw
If things turn radioactive in that region, it will be YET ANOTHER time the poor Japs can't catch a break from having their nation irradiated.
He's plagurizing Bohemian Rhaposody.
GARIREO!!! GARIREO!!!
GARIREO-Figaro!!!
(I'm sorry -- couldn't help it)
Light it up gook!
Is that a Bic pen he is using to plot the overthrow of western civilization?
No, it's even worse - it's one of those cheap assed generic stick pens....
dupe it
Dear Pen Pal, I was so happy to get your letter. I have just returned home from a trip to threaten the world powers. I am 30 years old and have worked really hard to destabilize the region. It has been very difficult to carry on ever since my father died...
Dear Steve
My dogs and I were working on this new nuke project plan, but every time I try the save on iCloud, I get "server not found - check your internet connection". What is going on? Also what is this yellow cable for?
Un
This dot-to-dot will show them whose da boss. Byatchez.
With report that DPRK has stated they have gone into state of war against ROK, any detection of missiles being fueled could force a response
#DPRK broadcast: If US & "the puppet gang" make "military provocations" in any region, it'll expand into "a full-scale war, a nuclear war."
Bullish.
Dear Journal,
No one takes me seriousry with this Forrest Gump do. I need new hair cut.
Must find new hair cut.
Ruv,
Un.
"MUMMY MUMMY. WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING AT ME?"
OK...
Hand rails installed on desk...check
Find out where that loose yellow cable goes...check
Hmmm...what else?
He says: I can't get this song out of my head! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0
1.5B views -- WTF!?!
Gangnam Style!
Dude is doing something right.
Seriously, who is cutting this fucking guy's hair??
Janet Napolitano
OK...let me get this right: We send nuclear bombers to Korea, and North Korea is being provocative? We have 25,000 troops on the North Korean border, and THEY are being belligerent? What would we think if North Korea had 25,000 troops in Tiajuana, conducting agressive military maneuvers? Would we be going ape-sh**, or what?
There'd be a point in there if they also had 11 carrier groups, to go with the nukes, and a fiat currency you MUST use to acquire oil on world markets.
And, of course, if they were able to starve us too..
forget up or down arrows, the only appropriate answer to your stupid post is "YOU ASSHOLE!".
How stupid are you, really? How disconnected from the real world are you? You don't have one-tenth the brain to be able to post on this site or anywhere else. Worst troll ever!
You know Rustycakes, there's something about starving your citizens to death, and driving the surviving ones to cannibalism, and setting up huge gulags, that makes this parsing of military fairness kind of beside the point.
Not to make excuses for tyrannical dictators but reading the DPRK statements right from the source kind of puts the threats into perspective...
http://kcna.kp/kcna.user.home.retrieveHomeInfoList.kcmsf?lang=eng
seems they are freaking out about the military maneuvers of the 'imperialists' (that being the US.. apprently) and their 'puppet forces' (that being south korea)
Need MOAR missiles, ammo and tanks! Bullish for Defense Stocks! Buy MOAR ES!
If Goldman Sachs offered you this much money to nuke Los Angeles you'd sign too.
They won't be missed. Well maybe the porn addicts will miss them but meh.
Hell - I'd nuke LA for just spare pocket change, given the opportunity...
And if you think they aren't a threat...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategic_Rocket_Forces_%28North_Korea%29
The Korean People's Navy is not known to have any ballistic missile submarines in its inventory, but has acquired 2 Foxtrot class and 10 Golf-II class submarines for scrapping in 1993. The latter are capable of firing three SLBM. It is possible that North Korea has refurbished some of those with the help of more than 20 Russian experts or upgraded them to accommodate the larger Musudan-1.[14] Another option is that their launch tubes have been studied, and either externally fitted to Romeo/Whiskey-class submarines, or simply deployed on a cargo ship.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BM25_Musudan
Musudan
Launch weight: 20,654 kg
Diameter: 1.50 m
Total Length: 12 m
Payload: 1,000 kg
Warhead: single
Maximum range: 3,000–4,000 km
CEP: 1.3 km
Launch platform: North Korean-produced TEL, resembling a stretched and modified MAZ-543; cargo ships or modified submarines
They are supposed to have between 12-200 of these missiles... and with a one ton payload, they can put a nuke up there.
http://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2013/03/28/pentagon-us-cannot-be-con...
Pentagon: U.S. 'Cannot Be Considered a Sanctuary' Amid NKorea Threats
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/northkorea/9961610/North-Korea-outbreak-of-war-hours-away-as-Kim-Jong-un-plans-US-strike.html
North Korea: 'outbreak of war hours away' as Kim Jong-un plans US strike
North Korea's leader Kim Jong-un has ordered missile units to prepare to strike US mainland as a British tour operator was warned that the "outbreak of war probably only hours away".
http://www.news.com.au/world-news/china-and-russia-conduct-surprise-military-exercises/story-fndir2ev-1226609334992#ixzz2Oxv3BRGX
China and Russia conduct 'surprise' military exercises
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/world/china/China-keeps-off-from-US-North-Korea-stand-off/articleshow/19285505.cms
In the midst of a flare-up of tensions in the Korean peninsula, China on Friday adopted a 'hands off' approach to the crisis, suggesting that it would not directly intervene to restrain Pyongyang.
Maybe writing letter to Hans Bwix can get Obama off my arse.....oh shit my Dad fed him to frickin sharks.
I'm sooo ronery, same, same mee daddie... nowoody wesum too-me!
Wyll bee 911 tyms won-undred.. bitch bee yu amewikan...!
Fook Yu... amewikan! yu heere...fooooook yuuuuuuu!
nek time i lau-dar OK!
kim jong-un
#1 = Red
#2 = Blue
#3 = Orange
"I love paint by numbers..." - Kim Jong-Un
The great leader brings an urgent issue to the attention of his generals.
http://everist.org/pics/misc/Kim_Jong-Un_inspires.jpg
Dennis steal net then take big crap on our court! Him not impressed!
FWIW. I think the kid is going to lob some missiles. He has nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
The world is watching. Just like the Falkland Islands? That Argentinian Princess has a mouth?
SudoKu Puzzle
"Hmmm... So I can save money if I use FedEx"
Who needs two stage delivery mechanism?
This would be a modern war, won in the first week by air power, if we want to be on the winning side we better position some carriers and more land based aircraft (plus lots of ammo and missiles) within one day of seeing action. This will not be like Iraq where we build up forces for months ahead of time--that's what North Korea is doing. With a stronger President we would not be challenged but you don't intimidate enemies with 'sanctions'.
Lulz. Won in a week? Best Pentagon estimates say 1 million dead, several months of war.
http://www.spacedaily.com/reports/War_with_NKorea_poses_nightmare_scenar...
Sounds like a good start...
Errm, 6,000 rounds per hour on Seoul would be quite some destruction over the course of that week. Of course this will redcue has the counter batteries and air power start to have an effect - but still!
I think only Dr Krugman and the MIC an see the the Keynesian silver lining that the rebiuld will generate!
Apple may also be quitely getting excited has it would impact on the Samsung Galaxy 4.
normally this has unlimited humor potential, but the dude actually scares me. I have met a few Koreans that were scary intelligent. If he is one of those, there will be a settling of accounts. We have been starving his people with sanctions for a long long time.......they are pissed off hungry people......capable of anything. Lookhow much damage occured on 911.....and that was just a few dudes. The USA settled accounts since WWII. Not so much anymore.
plus, I think I know where all the DHS bullet orders have been going: http://vimeo.com/15056028
Epic reminder.... anyone I talk to has no clue whasoever that this actually happened back in the pre-internet days of 1992 and how close we are all over the world for this shit to break down again. All they thi k is some black guy got beatent by raciost white cops and we progressed so much since then. Hopeless in particular the young city professional class who would be the first to get eaten by a mob like this and think also the current bozo in the WH is realy trtying to change things.
Cool tune BTW.
Appreciated MrX.
<P>
We have not been starving the people of N.K. The cult of personality under the guise of another failed experiment of communism is directly responsible for starving the people. At any time they could have engaged in normal agriculture and grown food to meet their needs. But communism needs to blame others when the game is about keeping more down than the ruling class can control.</p>
When have sanctions ever worked? Name me one country that cried Uncle and rolled over due to sanctions. Only the people suffer under sanctions and it allows the dicktator to dicktate even moar, suppressing the opposition and taking what resources there are to make uniforms for the idiot poor followerz.
the truth matters not. Only that they believe we have been starving them for a long long time....and this they believe, which makes them more dangerous than your average pimply college tuition earning leave it to Beaver youngster out of Iowa mercinary.
It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done.
A monet' in the making.
Hi Yen! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhv8Cfzv-04
Thanks Buzz. Even before I view the clip.
I never figured you as a 'connoisseur' of fine art buzz?
Actually he's probably doing phallus art for the new taepodong 3 missile.
+10
Or even better, launch scuds at SKorean and Japanese nuclear power plants.
My guess would be a couple LGM-30G Minuteman-III missiles.
Strategic Air Command. For when it absolutely, positively, needs to be there in 35 minutes or less. We deliver!
Except the US can't launch ICBMs at North Korea... it would go straight over Russian airspace.
If the US launches a nuke strike, it'll be done either by SLBMs or B-2s/B-52s.
Only if they launched from Alaska, and not the mid-west. But, since there just happens to be a couple of bombers already in the area and certainly a sub or two somewhere in the pacific, you're probably correct. I was actually just attempting to be funny....
Missiles are shot over the poles.
Think that really depends on what you intend to hit. Nuking Cuba, for example, would probably involve a different trajectory.
I appreciated it RSBriggs. For that matter, where is a Gen. Turgidson when the free world needs him?
To the shelters Bitchez!
SAC "Peace is our mission"
They needn't do anything but provide fodder for the unquenchable thirst of the M.I.C., and a distraction for all the rest.
Krugman must be orgasmic at the thought of all this stimulus that will be unleashed by the nuclear destruction.
That he is... doing the calculations on the rebuilding stimulus generated across the world while his house boy blows him. However, he will be hoping that the USofA doesn't miss out on the death and destruction and therefore all the GDP muliplying 'growth' that will flow!
Let the Norks get one through - P Krugman PhD
I'll just sign this requisition order for Cream of Sum Yung Gai. I'm so rone-ree.
Im so wonewee :(
He is just tweeting...
North Korean style...
Dear Justin Bieber,
I am writing today to tell you I love you......
The kid wants to play CoD and watch porn. This is a total pile of shite designed to make some people tremble and take the goggles off the ball. I bet this time next mobth it happens again.
They sell iMacs in North Korea?
Only one.
Only in 2010.
His people are living on tree bark and this fat fuck is sporting a double chin!
Too much bulgogi.
Somebody please buy that man a drink. Maybe a vodka and diet Coke?
He needs to let it all out to someone.
" where is America anyway? "
"AnAnonymous show Zero Hedge what real red arrow look like!!"
Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?
Just wait tirr I hit Infinite Improbabiraty Drive, Capitorist!
Dennis Rodman loves me. I am so cool, and important. The NFL would be lucky to have me, but I am busy holding a piece of awsome paper.
"Must hold still for photo... do not pick nose"...
Speaking of that photo, it's obviously staged. If any work was actually being done that highly polished table top would be covered in Kim Junk Illness's greasy hand prints.
Connect da dots.. one two free.. connect da dots.. HEY GENERAL!!! I DID IT!!
ATTN China; "Please send me those war plans, NOW!".
Kim Jong tries to figure out why printing US currency has not improved North Korea's economy as Paul Krugman's NY Times columns said it would.
Kim Jong reviews a proposed 27th party-approved haircut--the "Cypriot".
You People are pretty FUCKED UP. ZERO BRAINS....you all joke about this stuff like its some Fuckin game.
You all have NO FUCKIN IDEA how many sleeper cells and opportunities are currently in EVERY major city in the USA. You all sit back and type your messages thinking, look at me I am an America and I can fuckyou up because my neighbor pays 40 percent of his taxes to the n military to make sure we destabilize the world. Be careful what you all wish for. The Russians and Chinese are already fucking pissed at Ben printing 100 billion a month.
Now excuse me while I go and take my Prozac Because its American.
If somethng happens...it happens. Should we live every day in fear due to this childish clown in N. Korea? Is that what you do day in and day out? If so, you need more than Prozac.
Noted Cosmic...I guess I got a bit worked up and thus will take your advice. N Korea is not the problem, its the rest of the world that can fuck us up. We are getting a bit tooooooooo cocky.
Cocky? perhaps some, yes. Some just watch TV. The remainder know that there is little that can be done to stop something like that on a large scale. So we sit.. and we observe... and we prepare.. and we wait some more.
"I rike clayons."
That was funny. +1
Two B-2 with 16 neutrons each will do the job quite nicely!
When they take off from Whitman AFB tonight, headed west bound, I will know, as they go right over my house at about 5,000 ft with engines roaring due to the load. They will make a refuel rondevous, then they world will know what real kick ass is like.
Of course everbody in Japan, S Korea, and N E China are going to need some new replacment electronic gear from the magnetic pulse, so best to invest in those manufactures of same.
I'm keenly interested in Neutron bombs .... I hope my Jews are paying attention !
B2's deployed to south korea a few days ago, publically announced. No nukes aboard, no neutron bombs in our arsenal( jimmy carter stopped those), and no EMP hitting far away because no above atmosphere nukes can be launched by B2. Other than that it was a well thought out comment.
EMP's do not have to be nuclear that is just the easy way to do it.
...no neutron bombs.......
We don't use torture
We don't counterfeit our own money
We won't cum in your mouth .....
Social security will be there for all of us.
Koolaid good?
Interesting as they are the ones manufacturing the electronics. As for EMP bombs the US has been testing them over the US this last year with a very low yield look for the loud bang and the green flash in the sky if it's night time.
The U.S. is on record as saying they have no neutron bombs. Perhaps we can borrow them from Israel. Not much in N. Korea, as far as electronics, to hit.
"Deaw ZH Fliday Humor Klaption Klontest"...
"I wish they had an app for this"
I'm so ronry.
So ronry and sadry arone.
Right handed, Left brained thinker.
And they said Ross Perot .... was a hand grenade .... with a bad haircut ?
Monedas you are highly intelligent. If you could just get rid of that ' Hannibal Lecter' slant?
3 Across (5): Can be cliff or called.
Hint: Starts with B.
Put the nukes on the horses,we go Gangnam Style.
Someone needs to a message to this twerp to go screw himself.
Obama is looking for a reason for War. Take your choice, Iran or North Korea.
@justinbieber I love you! Prease follow me.
I can deploy even more chins from where this one came from.
How fat is this fuck going to get I wonder?
Hey! Yo ! ! !
CRAZY Cracker HEAD NORTH KOREAN BITCHZ/CUNTZ-EZ ______ NOBODY GIVES A FUCK---OVER HERE N USALAND111111
SIDZ ZAT...........NOPE
DOON GIVE A FUKKK
STOP TXTN WYLE YOU DRIVE BTZZZZZZZZ
3 + 7 = ............umm..........
"I wish my brother George was here"
$80,000,000 minus a 90% haircut equals.... Oh Im going to nuke them daddy.
Lockheed can probably steer an asteroid onto them. Would look like ordinary bad luck.
I forget... When i play myself, does the X go in the centre or in a corner...
(no caption) He has an imac?
For NO GOOD REASON I would like to state that Francis"Probably A Fag 'Butt There Is Nothing Wrong With That" Sawyer' is the main reason that we have to put up with N Korea. ? <?
Let't see ... they have three longbowmen to my two horse archers. They get additional strength for city defense. I'm going to need the war elephants.
I consider it unfortunate that so many in the news media and consumers of news simply laugh at North Korea's threats.
A brief study of the history of how wars begin reveals that nobody thought it could or would happen. Everybody thought the bad guys were just bluffing or blowing off steam.
This is especially true in U.S. foreign policy. The U.S. either telegraphed (i.e. insiuated) that it wouldn't go to war to defend South Korea. It did the same thing 40 years later before Sadaam invaded Kuwait....we know what happened in both cases.
And as a few others have commented, the North Korean's don't have to hit downtown L.A. with a nuke to hurt us. A massive artillery barrage into Seoul would make the entire world shit it's pants.
I have heard reports of their ships around Cuba. Possible to launch from a closer container ship. Not to mention their special forces. But I suspect this is something more than just Korea. Notice Russia and China are having big drills right around the same time. This is several countries working together.
"Notice Russia and China are having big drills right around the same time. This is several countries working together."
Yep! And North Korea has been China's pit bull since 1949. Russia and China collaborate whenever it's good for them and bad for America.
"A massive artillery barrage into Seoul would make the entire world shit it's pants."
Yeah baby! DOW 15,000,000!
"We're gonna be rich!"
"We're already rich, Roy."
It's official. Wikipedia is already calling it
Second Korean War (2013-present)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korean_War
Since literally anyone can edit Wikipedia, to say that "Wikipedia" is "calling" it is something of a stretch. It means someome typed into the Wikipedia entry ... and nothing more. Wikipedia is no more a source of truth than the gossip from your neighbors.
It was meant to be sarcastic.
Yes, Wiki is as reliable and as instructive as the MSM for determining where and when the winds of propaganda are trying to blow up the sheeples' ass.
Don't have any cool privileges, so this is the best I can do.
https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/c86.0.403.403/p403x403/300145_4790435247306_2013184001_n.jpg
OT, sorta, but about the other war.
http://www.silverdoctors.com/fdic-bank-of-england-create-resolution-authority-for-unlimited-cyprus-style-bail-ins-for-tbtf-banks/#more-24140
Hey - KNOCK OFF THE HUMOR.
You know, Obama sent A-Rod to NKR to set this whole thing up, and you guys are just laughing at everything like it's a joke. If you think it's funny, how is he supposed to use this to blame the Republicans for cutting military spending by by $6 billion with the sequester?
Keep it down, we're trying to Cloward-Piven here and you are treating this like a joke rather than a real faux-manufactured crisis!
"Good old days when Dad used to help me with my homework"
Let's see... a four letter word starting with "D" that means 'a man who wears a goofing fucking hair cut and has never been able to finish a crossword puzzle". D_RK .... uhmmmm.
100$ treasury plates? ....check.
meth lab formulas? ....check.
bush sr./papa il bank accounts? ... double check.
bug bag inventory- priceless.
Caption: Daddy's money
"What would Jack Burton do in a situation like this?"...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dl-pr5iqKb4
"im so ronrey.. missing yoo Dennis, love Kimmi XX"
"this will boost the value of my Laughing stocks"
"K...A...R...M....A......"
(And egg-zackery who gave USI monop-orry to start un-plovoked wars?)
- FATBOY.
Is that Psy?
Ronery, I'm so ronery ...
"The beatings will continue until the kimchi imploves."
Dear Mrrs. Chilton and Gensler,
I too am curious about the five year investigation into the manipulation of silver and precious metals markets. I have studied this topic extensively and only an idiot would not realize that "markets" are controlled by a nefarious cartel that surreptitiously suppresses the paper prices of monetary metals for their own malevolent benefit and greed.
After reading ZeroHedge daily I can only say to you in complete disgust "Gold Bitchez!!!"
Hugs, Kisses and Fallout,
Jong-Un
On computer screen - "In other news a group of North Vietnam expats have signaled the creation of a North Vietnam Central Bank and are looking to borrow 500,000,000 from the IMF."