Tyler Durden's picture


After reading this memo from the Central Bank of Cyprus sent to bank CEOs on February 11, arguably to put them at ease, all we can say is "Oooops"...

We'll ignore the contents of the memo, including such statements that "restricting the property rights of depositors" is unconstitutional - that is after all for the people of Cyprus to opine on (we did however have a hearty laugh upon learning that there is a European Convention of Human Rights),

As for the FT article referenced? The following, from February 10, which references a "confidential memo" which foretold the events from two weeks ago with absolute precision :

A radical new option for the financial rescue of Cyprus would force losses on uninsured depositors in Cypriot banks, as well as investors in the country’s sovereign bonds, according to a confidential memorandum prepared ahead of Monday’s meeting of eurozone finance ministers.


The proposal for a “bail-in” of investors and depositors, and drastic shrinking of the Cypriot banking sector, is one of three options put forward as alternatives to a full-scale bailout. The ministers are trying to agree a rescue plan by March, to follow the presidential elections in Cyprus later this month.


By “bailing in” uninsured bank depositors, it would also involve more foreign investors, especially from Russia, some of whom have used Cyprus as a tax haven in recent years. That would answer criticism from Berlin in particular, where politicians are calling for more drastic action to stop the island being used for money laundering and tax evasion.


Labelled “strictly confidential” and distributed to eurozone officials last week, the memo says the radical version of the plan – including a “haircut” of 50 per cent on sovereign bonds – would shrink the Cypriot financial sector, now nearly eight times larger than the island’s economy, by about one-third by 2015.


Senior EU officials who have seen the document cautioned that imposing losses on bank depositors and a sovereign debt restructuring remain unlikely. Underlining the dissuasive language in the memo, they said that bailing in depositors was never considered in previous eurozone bailouts because of concern that it could lead to bank runs in other financially fragile countries.


But the authors warn such drastic action could restart contagion in eurozone financial markets...

So far the contagion has been mostly contained, courtesy of epic intervention on behalf of the BIS to keep the EUR stable for the past two weeks. Once again, we doubt this will persist.

At least at this point we know that a Cyprus sovereign debt haircut of 50%, which is noted on the memo as the missing piece to the "sustainability" puzzle, is next.

In the meantime, dear citizens of the world, please enjoy as your central bankers lie to you each and every day, and never forget that everything is under control.

Courtesy of SigmaTV, h/t John Johns, and Yiannis Mouzakis

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Fri, 03/29/2013 - 12:49 | 3388692 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

Ooops is right!

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 12:50 | 3388696 knukles
knukles's picture

So the actions are crimes against humanity

Thank you, Knukles :)

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 12:57 | 3388717 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

"The needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many. Boo-ya."

—Inverse Spock-Logic

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:00 | 3388735 whotookmyalias
whotookmyalias's picture

Best Pee Wee Herman voice (after he crashes his bike) "I meant to do that"

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:04 | 3388750 redpill
redpill's picture

BoC and Laiki already infringed on their property rights when when they took their deposits and blew them on Greek bonds.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:10 | 3388776 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

Note, however, that -- while acknowledging that the moves are illegal and unconstitutional, and they they shouldn't be given serious consideration -- nowhere does the memo say that "We aren't going to do this."

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:15 | 3388792 Lets_Eat_Ben
Lets_Eat_Ben's picture

"Woah deja vu. I just saw the same black cat twice."

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:19 | 3388803 palmereldritch
palmereldritch's picture

That memo is a checkered flag...or is it the Jolly Roger?

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 18:51 | 3389799 Dugald
Dugald's picture


Cheap booz will do that.......

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:32 | 3388836 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

Let me guess......someone still believes this isn't coming here within the next couple of months......That's right its "ring fenced".....hehehehehhe

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 16:32 | 3389392 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

The lesson to learn is that one should not trust the government's pronouncements.  Of course, most here already subscribe to that thesis, but it hasn't yet dawned on the average folk on the street.   It'll be the same here; just as many people will be caught with their guard down and money in defunct banks.  Their savings will be confiscated, they will rant and fret and make a public scene -- then they will go about their regular dull lives.  Those who stacked the highest and deepest will sit in well deserved smug comfort.   It's the same as it always has been.

Sat, 03/30/2013 - 08:56 | 3391137 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

"Those who stacked the highest and deepest will sit in well deserved smug comfort."

I have to disagree with you there RR.  People will be ostracized and targeted if they are known to have had the forethought and presence to insure themselves.

"Gold Bugs" have been attacked in the MSM for years already and now "preppers" or "doomers" or "libertarians" or OWS or Tea Partiers are also as well as anyone that speaks out (the nail that sticks out gets hammered). 

It used to be that people understood the fable about the Ant and the Grasshopper.  Now everyone thinks the grasshopper is cool and shit because he's got the fat "crib" that was on MTV and gets into all the clubs and the ant is a pathetic douche that doesn't know how to rock a party and get down.

That being said, stacking should give one relative comfort and peace of mind but it is probably best to own a boat with a hole in it...

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:33 | 3388838 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

"Winning the minds and hearts of the [Cypriot] people, one at a time."

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 14:00 | 3388904 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

Or is it, "Crushing the hearts of the mindless Cypriot people, one at a time"?

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:50 | 3388882 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture


Fri, 03/29/2013 - 14:14 | 3388956 merizobeach
merizobeach's picture

03:00:00 -- $28.68/oz

03:01:00 -- $28.22/oz

Hope that helps!


Fri, 03/29/2013 - 15:13 | 3389127 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

As a result of suffering the loss of physical due to an unforseen series of boating accidents. I, for one, have realised that there is a much safer way to hold PM's.  Minimal risk, managed by professional traders and backed by elite financial institutions, the exchange-traded funds (EFTs) are what you are looking for. You will sleep much better after you take the blue pill.


Fri, 03/29/2013 - 15:29 | 3389194 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

This is what the really friendly and very smart guy helping me this conundrum said at the last meeting.

"Look Rogue, Physical Silver is not what you are looking for"

... he then waved his hand.

Contact Details are:

O.W. Kenobi
New Account Manager
EFT Trading Solutions
Bank of America
Sixth Avenue & 42 Street
New York City, New York
Call: 0900 SUX-BEIN-U 


Fri, 03/29/2013 - 15:28 | 3389192 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

That's what JPM calls a Good Friday. 

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 21:48 | 3390359 noless
noless's picture is still fucking up but last is 27.95ish apparently (if the revised chart they are currently showing is a corollary to their gold), kitco leveled at monthly expiratory i guess, says 28.3, but i haven't been following so i don't know vwap and am lazy. edits: read tf for decent silver news.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 15:08 | 3389106 css1971
css1971's picture

eh no. The bank can do what it likes with your deposit. It's their money.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:02 | 3388741 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

The needs of the Jew outweigh the needs of the many. Oi!

-Rabbi Hymen Crustofski

(Not a heb hater, but couldn't resist! )

Sat, 03/30/2013 - 11:12 | 3391368 resurger
resurger's picture

Well spoken lol

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 18:46 | 3389763 Radical Marijuana
Radical Marijuana's picture

To reply to McMolotov's "Inverse Spock-Logic:

The few are better at being organized to defraud and rob than the many. The few can agree amongst themselves to operate the best organized gangs of criminals, while the many are fragmented, divided and conquered. The "needs" arguments, like the "rights and freedoms" arguments are based on bullshit, and basically backwards ways of thinking about how the realities work. The reality is that human systems always operate as organized lies, operating organized robberies. Therefore, the smaller, better organized groups doing that can and do prevail over the large disorganized and divided groups doing that, especially since the larger groups tend to believe in different kinds of bullshit about how nobody should do that, while the smaller groups covertly go ahead and do that anyway.

After all, Star Trek was just a TV show. Welcome to the Bizarro Mirror World, where the power of the few outweighs the power of the many, because the few are better organized, while the many are less well organized. That works particularly well since the many have already been brainwashed to believe in various different kinds of bullshit, primarily promoted by the few.



The entire discourse about "rights and freedoms" is deliberately designed to be bullshit, that helps the biggest bullies, since professional liars and immaculate hypocrites can get away so much more easily with doing what they do when they can rely upon impossible ideals, and have most of their audience agree with those impossible ideals, as somehow being good ideas, which should be taken seriously.

"Human Rights" tend to be always talking about how we should build from the roof down. However, reality is actually built from the foundations up to the roof. "Human Rights" are only possible as a dynamic equilibria in the ecology of organized lies and robberies.

Our whole civilization is based on runaway triumphant deceits, backed by destruction. The War Kings that made sovereign states have had their powers almost totally taken over by the Fraud Kings that control the financial accounting systems. What has happened is that organizations like the United Nations, and the European Union, etc., are basically the triumph of the biggest bullies' bullshit impossible ideals, which actually cause the opposite things to happen in the real world. Political puppets are paid to get together and agree with each other's lies and hypocrisy, while their audience applauds their performance. BUT, blatant contradicitons arise from believing in false fundamental dichotomies.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 22:43 | 3390555 noless
noless's picture

Some ideas aren't impossible, merely unpalatable. Use your rhetoric justly, and save it for the time when the bite draws blood.

Lay your chimney so that it benefits the house, it's no use as a steeple to topple in the side yard.

Organize your group to respect the rights of individuals.

Organized lies or willful mental exclusions?

Become one of the few with those around you.

Ideals are based on the society you choose to be a part of. Don't allow others who wish to corrupt, accept those who wish to reform.

Don't forget the war queens, you are correct. Power is fraud, all have the right to determine their destiny.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 12:56 | 3388718 King_of_simpletons
King_of_simpletons's picture

All this proves is that "The Sheep" can do nothing, but bleat to their hearts' content.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:00 | 3388731 HulkHogan
HulkHogan's picture

The public better start a riot.


Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:00 | 3388733 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Um.. I’m confused..

Was Madison Greek or Cypriot?

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 12:57 | 3388720 chumbawamba
chumbawamba's picture

This is about as nigger as it gets right here:


Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:10 | 3388775 HulkHogan
HulkHogan's picture

Nothing like fat bitches talking about being hungry.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:21 | 3388807 Tijuana Donkey Show
Tijuana Donkey Show's picture

Right! And no one wants to eat the green veggies, it's all white bread.

Sat, 03/30/2013 - 00:03 | 3390720 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

They are hungry. All those fat cells have to be fed. Somewhere here there is a larger lesson...

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:14 | 3388787 macholatte
macholatte's picture


Make no mistake about it....... the cops, the military, the civil servants......

WILL do as they are told.

So ask yourself this: what will they be told to do with those tens of millions of rounds of hollow point bullets?

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 20:23 | 3390029 essence
essence's picture

Great Observation.

Of course, one can add DHS,FBI,CIA,NSA and other alphabet agencies to that.
They wouldn't be able to hold their job or live with themselves if it were otherwise.



Sat, 03/30/2013 - 00:27 | 3390768 Lednbrass
Lednbrass's picture

What will they do with tens of millions of rounds of hollow point pistol rounds?

If things get ugly, they will get absolutely creamed by people with real weapons, thats what.  .40 cal. hollow points-lol. Dangerous at 10 yards, a threat at 25, and beyond that not worth jack shit.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:29 | 3388833 DoChenRollingBearing
DoChenRollingBearing's picture


+ 1  Nice find.  Give away food, get sued.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:06 | 3388761 Doomer
Doomer's picture

Just one simple question ...

How do I know when a Central Banker is lying?

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:08 | 3388766 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

when he's not swinging from a rope

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 14:02 | 3388916 gmrpeabody
gmrpeabody's picture

You win...

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 16:03 | 3389286 fuu
fuu's picture


Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:55 | 3388894 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Their lips are moving.

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 15:01 | 3389090 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

When it gets serious?

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 15:09 | 3389108 TheLooza
TheLooza's picture

when he's....and IT'S GONE!

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 19:01 | 3389833 Dugald
Dugald's picture

How do I know when a Central Banker is lying?

When they smile ,and say, Please.... do take a seat, would you care for some coffee.....!

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:12 | 3388763 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

Does that mean there is now a bounty on those critters?

   Cause some of us like bounties;)

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 13:24 | 3388817 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

An ounce of gold per head - payable upon delivery. Head must be intact - no fair taking out the gold fillings before delivery. Two ounces if the head's former office was on the top floor. If the head formerly belonged to Jon Corzine - name your price!

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 14:37 | 3389024 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

the criminal victims are human

but the perpetrators aren't

Sat, 03/30/2013 - 05:38 | 3390961 inca
inca's picture
Cypriot banks in politician loan scandal A list of Cypriot politicians who reportedly had millions in loans to Cypriot banks forgiven is published in Greece

Fri, 03/29/2013 - 14:01 | 3388909 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture


Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!