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Spanish Entrepreneurs Solve Europe's Banking Confidence Debacle
We are unsure whether this is the best produced April Fool's Day joke or a real 'new normal' business-plan sprouting from the entrepreneurial ashes of trust-forlorn Europe. No matter which (Monday Humor or sad reflection on the inevitability of a fractional-reserve-banking model gone rogue) - this 120 seconds is worth the price of admission.
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I hope the buy some add time on CNBC.
Q: How many bitcoins can you stuff into a matress??
A: Infinity plus Infinity (ponzeeeeeeeeeee)
Sooo, basically just follow the delivery trucks and determine which house to rob next?
Do they come with a Sleep Number?
One function of the safe is being ass heavy, and not able to walk out the premises while balancing it single handedly over your head.
Just hope that when you can no longer pay your taxes the Bailiffs don't come and take your bed...
I thought the idea was to put the money 'under' the mattress, not in it.
Ah, I get it, the mattress is fireproof...
and nailed to the floor.
Yes, and if you follow the truck and come to my house the number is "Saiga 12 Guage" and I am able to deliver a slug to you personally!
... and I am able to quickly deliver all the slugs you can personally take.
21,000,000 Max
I hope you manage your money better than you don't your word play.
Bitcoin, a virtual currency. Let me guess. You spend most of the day on Second Life and Farmville. On a virtual life.
And *you* are trying to tell me how to manage yo momma?
@ahmeexnal
And the numbers that represent your bank balance are where? Oh that's right, charged patterns on a hard drive. Do you not understand 'virtual'? Do you think the web is a "series of tubes?". How comical.
No I think gold sits in a private vault, not a hard drive.
and I think if I can't get what I want for it I can turn it into jewelry and just show off with it, which makes it valuable.
Now, lets take a look at those little wiggly amps...
makes it more covenient when you have the hookers over
@ahmeexnal
I'd say you could stuff quite a few USB drives in your avatar's beard. Too bad you have no idea what a ponzi is, it makes you look quite ignorant.
This is great ... the real deal
Glad to see the Spanish entrepreneurial spirit is still there so strong !
Here is the company home page
Paco Santos, Presidente
http://cajamicolchon.com/
Spanish burglars and home invaders now know what to look for.
If you keep money and valuables at your home put them in the most non-standard place you can think of. How about putting your safe in your garbage bin and put some dead rats and dirty diapers on top of it. May sound gross but thieves will think the same and not dig deeper.
Standard spanish burglar checklist:
Garbage bin.
Toilet water reservoir.
Cleaning supply cabinet, inside the bottles.
Kitchen air evacuation.
Under sinks.
Nonelectric wall outlets.
Ceiling plaster.
Toaster/small appliances.
Venetian blind cases.
The entrepreneur here is taking on a spanish common humorous reference to "keeping your cash in your mattress". noone does that.
Glad coat pockets, bedroom drawers and office shelves seem just too obvious for them... ;)
Don't forget to look behind the velvet pictures of Mary and Jesus.
What happens when the wife throws out the garbage?
One of the best places that i ever learned where to hide your stuff, I found here on zerohedge, by a unknown post. It was the funniest that I have heard. Put your stash in a box marked old books. Make sure that it is behind a box marked porn.
make sure the box marked porn has porn. I suggest old vhs tapes.
And the gun pocket in the pillow....
Perfect !
That's why you have 2 of them. Have a duress safe in an obvious place where your average person would put one (closet, etc.) containing costume jewlery and some cash, maybe some fake papers that say birth certificate and the like. Then you have the REAL one somewhere else.
They will be banned and confiscated..
Bloomberg and Cuomo are alredy on it.
The best ploy is to have one of these, but then store your money in the more traditional 'under the mattress'. They'll never find it there.
Awesome!
Put some shiny in there and sleep well.
pods
Awesome!
Put some shiny in there and sleep well.
WHOA PODNUH"S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
This would only work if you NEVER leave your home.
Otherwise your mattress and safe will be stolen.
And your screwed.
Just a gimmick for a quick buck. Where is the FIRST place a burglar checks for weapons?.
Under your mattress,and this lil item is already been seen and advertised all over the net.
It was a joke on a joke Dos.
I have seen a top notch safe, with tear gas filled doors, cut through with an air chisel.
The only thing a safe does is buy you time. My valuables are hidden in plain sight.
For the price of a safe, might I suggest a real deterrent:
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/filabrasileiro.htm
Not only will it protect the valuables that you can replace,
it will protect the ones you cannot.
pods
Ah Pods, a paraquat sausage will soon sort those out...
Hidden in plain sight is a very good idea.
Held in trust overseas is also a very good idea...
For when the tax man comes a knockin'...
Awesome Dog Pods...now all you need to do is have the dog sleep on the mattress & PM stash is sorted...well except the expense to sound-proof snoring - small price to pay!
You might rest easier on fiat but gold bars will get you where you need to be.
I'll stick with the Bed Bunker (which works amazingly well with Swiss mattress slat frames)
Manufacturers warning: Do not roll over quickly with a boner as your not about to break the bank.
Yeah, less cushin for the pushin doesn't sound like the best sales pitch - obviously, that can only be a funny joke (or dumb business plan!).
Well I always asks my mattress salesman , how is it to fuck on ?
Perfectly safe I'm told...
B of M
Bank of Mattress
lol
I lost all my PMs when my...mattress....sank....don't ask.
Some woman in TelAviv went out and bought her mother a new mattress as a 'surprise'. Was a bigger surprise than intended. The old mattress had a million in cash hidden inside.
http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2009-06-10-million-mattress_...
Instead oif a boating accident you can blame your well meaning daughter who threw out your savings. Well she SAID she threw it out......
Not fake and they are currently sold out.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/shortcuts/2013/mar/29/mattress-safe-b...
No way. It has to be April Fools.
Looks a little lumpy ;-)
Doctor.... i broke my assbone on my new matress! A bank box style safe might be ....eh, safer.(and cooler) Like this. http://www.swiss-banking-antiques.com/e/bank-boxes/classic-swiss-bank-bo...
Had a similar mattress on my houseboat where I stored all my PMs. Unfortunately I had a boating accident.
Nothing like sleeping on a firm mattress and especially when it is filled with precious metals !
Only problem with this is you'll never get the Spaniards to work again.
First, they had the siesta, which resulted in huge unemployment, and now they have the perfect bed for economic collapses.
The Iberians' productivity rate is forever doomed.
Just give me the Bank of Carmen Electra.
I hear she takes deposits 24-7.
I've heard of dirty money before, but that takes the cake.
Teller in a sperm bank ?
Rodman already tapped that vault, brother. You might want to choose another, just to be safe.
I want one
can I get one with a holster mounted on the side?
Velcro
..
These mattresses are really made and are for sale.
"The first 20 sold out within 24 hours."
http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/shortcuts/2013/mar/29/mattress-safe-bank-with-confidence
Just strap it to the top of the car and drive your family and YOUR WEALTH across the border into the safe, sane country of...uhhm...uhh...
Mars is looking better all the time, really.
Only one problem: there be currency in that safe and not PMs so the banksters are still robbing these fine folks.
hujel
im guessing the spanish will never leave their home after the names and addresses of the first few hundred are "stolen".
the "safe" is surrounded by cloth ffs!! its an "unsafe", has to be an AF's joke.
Great product one of the first out of the ashes.
How about a sky blue or grey helium balloon with guidance system to a predetermined location.
Ok ok a solar toaster. or a combo solar mousetrap and toaster.
I got it now: a new book on meditation.
Well we all know the expression NEST EGG but could this matress be the first REST EGG ?
Micolchon: BECAUSE BANKS ARE ROTTEN WHORES WHO SHOULD NOT BE TRUSTED
.... but if you're gonna do it, DO IT. http://bedgunsafe.com/
Until they change the cash...............
If you look at the methods of extraction over the years - they keep changing....................
The new 5 euro note is supposed to start circulating by summer. I'm wondering if they will keep the quantity printed on a par with the old 5 euro, and whether it will be distributed in the soon to be cutoff economies... The timing seems just right.
Just look at the wall behind the bar counter in some bars - covered in old worthless banknotes, all from the last 40 years...
Hmm, I wonder why there are never any old gold and silver coins sellotaped to the wall....? ;)
matresses and bitcoins don't make good bed fellows!
You know how those guys are in the median holding a sign for the local gold store saying, "We Buy Gold"?
I saw one today for a pawn shop that said, "Cash for Ammo."
Anyone else see that in your neck o'the woods?
:D
That's scary.
The landscape changes. Here in Spain, all bijillion We Buy Gold businesses are staring to post We Buy Silver signs as well, just a few weeks back. I'm thinking the first wave of supply is drying up.
Remember: Leaving balances in banks is a risky investment. Don't store any more than you can afford to lose.
The wise use precious metals and bitcoins. The ignorant cling to their government-approved wish notes.
All would be well with the mattress until the house burned down and the mattress was filled with fiat that was being debased almost as fast as it vaporized in that little cheap oven... er safe. Maybe the mattress is made out of asbestos.
At least if it was filled with shiny stuff, you may find a molten pile inside after the house burned down instead of vaporized fiat.
I'm gonna need a bigger mattress
Matress bolted down?
Fire proof?
Heavy?
No?
Defeats the purpose.
Big sign on it giving the location of the safe away. Maybe worth getting to put your nocturnal emissions into.
I hear Bernake and Dimon bought one of these matresses for their love nest but it was customized with 2 little safe deposit boxes, one on each side.
Rumor has it that there's a little tunnel between the backdoors of the 2 boxes...and they roll gold coins up and down the tunnel, just like the real thing :)
An April Fools joke but the real joke has always been on us...
An April Fools joke but the real joke has always been on us...