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North Korea Says It Has Final Approval For Nuclear Attack On US

Tyler Durden's picture




 

This is merely the latest headline in what may well culminate with the wettest dream Paul Krugman has ever had.

For those concerned, here is a map showing the range of North Korean missiles. It is safe to assume that GETCO's collocated servers are safe, and will ramp the ES limit up on any flashing red headline launch news. Just think of the fixed income investment and epic resulting GDP boost, on both a real and seasonally adjusted basis.

 

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Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:28 | 3405245 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

If you think the ammo shortage is insane right now... just wait till a new Korean war starts.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:29 | 3405247 dadichris
dadichris's picture

this characterization of the 'news' is just hilarious because every announcement by N Korea has including the statement "If attacked by the US or S Korea we will..." but that part has been omitted from every 'news' story here in the US. 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:30 | 3405264 GrinandBearit
GrinandBearit's picture

False flag nuclear bomb detonation... then blame it on North Korea.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:31 | 3405266 JJ McApe
JJ McApe's picture

nah i don't think so.

however, a small nuclear war could be a big boost for the economy, and after war a little nice hyperinflation.

we know this game already. :-/

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:35 | 3405285 corvettekenny
corvettekenny's picture

This has to be bullish, right??

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:56 | 3405407 Finnman
Finnman's picture

Yes, just relax and buy

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:35 | 3405289 andyupnorth
andyupnorth's picture

"In development"

Bwaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

Currently, they can just barely reach Japan (for which there's no need due to the effects of Fukushima...)

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:41 | 3405318 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Barely. LULZ. They have probably at least a few dozens missiles that can effectively hit Japan with quite good accuracy.

Just hit a few nuclear power plants and Japan will be fucked forever.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:35 | 3405291 Cycle
Cycle's picture

An EMP weapon on a satellite, naahhh. I hope.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:38 | 3405297 PUD
PUD's picture

I knew it! The cutting edge super secret heat seeking moisture missile with the nuke tip...just the tip, I promise

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:37 | 3405299 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Does DEFCON 2 sounds good?

https://twitter.com/ISNJH

RT @@ISNJH: Although its unlikely that Pentagon will admit it we may soon be pushed to FAST PACE with such statements from the DPRK.

FAST PACE = defcon 2... lowest level since the Cuban missile crisis. Bullish.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:38 | 3405300 noses
noses's picture

It will at least solve the problem with AAPL.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:38 | 3405308 Subliminal messenger
Subliminal messenger's picture

I have uncovered the method used by MillionDollarBoner to construct his comments.

http://writing-program.uchicago.edu/toys/randomsentence/write-sentence.htm

My personal favorite: The epistemology of post-capitalist hegemony is, and yet is not, the historicization of the public sphere.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:00 | 3405725 akak
akak's picture

It sounds to me like you have actually uncovered the propagandisticalism compositionizing method of AnAnonymous, whose citizenismistic exploits in this field are notorious and legendary.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:43 | 3405311 virgilcaine
virgilcaine's picture

Well they do need a reason for the Market crash that's coming.  Bernank can't be made to look bad if his QE expermint did not work. It's all going according to plan.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:39 | 3405641 ozzz169
ozzz169's picture

Thats what the "sequester" is for, anything bad that happens here on out, is the sequesters fault..

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:46 | 3405343 pine_marten
pine_marten's picture

The little phuck has the right to be paranoid.  He probably remembers his old man entertaining Saddam & Khaddafi.  Maybe the banksters have screwed him over as well.  Be careful of the man who has nothing left to lose.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:35 | 3405621 MsCreant
MsCreant's picture

He had his money in Cyprus banks?

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:59 | 3405357 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

From the DHS:  In case of nuclear attack.....  Remain calm.  Grab scissors and hide under your desk.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:48 | 3405359 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

DPRK statement likely is going to place US attacks subs in region from patrol mode into combat alert mode ready to respond.

Bullish.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:54 | 3405400 Finnman
Finnman's picture

I guess that nuke to ws will cause huge rally because expected recovery? N-K is shooting green shoots?

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:56 | 3405415 Fezter
Fezter's picture

Just gather up the floating pigs and offer up unlimited pork fried rice to the NK regulars. They'll surrender to the news crews handing white cardboard cartons.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:59 | 3405417 css1971
css1971's picture

Y'know what this is?

This is because the Olympus Has Fallen numbers aren't looking very good. Kim Jong Un has a bit part and a stake in the movie.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 16:57 | 3405422 monad
monad's picture

Obama grade BS. Whats DC doing today that they don't want us to see?

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:00 | 3405434 marco1324
marco1324's picture

C'mon its a none story, NK would never start a war the top brass have it to good. When the man says look this way look the other, because thats where the business is happening.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:06 | 3405467 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

WHERE ARE THE DAMN CARRIERS???

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:06 | 3405470 pcrs
pcrs's picture

Approved by the nucleair war approval commity, which issues licenses for this

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:10 | 3405490 q99x2
q99x2's picture

BTFD this is one of the most bullish news releases since the FED's computers were jacked in.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:25 | 3405562 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

question: why the fuck would caroline kennedy take the ambassadorship to japan

is she on a suicide mission...

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:49 | 3405689 The Old Man
The Old Man's picture

Maybe she's the third.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:10 | 3405491 lolmao500
Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:11 | 3405494 doggis
doggis's picture

the usa has pissed off china......

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:15 | 3405517 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Kim Jong-Un -> Google Translate-> Fat Boy Slim ?

He wishes...;)

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:22 | 3405539 rustymason
rustymason's picture

"And the name ain't Low Fat, it's Phat Lo, Fat Ho!"

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:16 | 3405519 rustymason
rustymason's picture

This is so exciting. I've been wanting Hollyweird, Austin, and the District of Criminals to be nuked for years! I say, Hey, Hah, Way to go Koreah!

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:18 | 3405524 MonkeyBOOM
MonkeyBOOM's picture

I have final approval for a spaceship ride to Mars... equally likely to happen.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:54 | 3405703 Likstane
Likstane's picture

Yeah, my wife says I can play SS for the Yanks if I want to also.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:21 | 3405535 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

south korea and japan both take ownership of disputed islands, and both!!!... don't wanna play ball with the chinese,... so sorry to say that they are so yesterday

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:22 | 3405542 exartizo
exartizo's picture

could anyone *seriously* think that NK has any ability to get an edge on the US Military?

ROFLMAO

You can say all you want about the United States, but our military is the best and strongest on the planet.

Bar None.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:28 | 3405573 GOLD AND SILVER...
GOLD AND SILVER NATZI's picture

Until China enters the fray on NKs side.  NK also has the largest standing army in the world, though, most of them probably haven't eaten in a week so they're effectiveness is questionable.  This is a waste of time, nothing is going to happen. 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:37 | 3405631 The Old Man
The Old Man's picture

Hey, honey, what was that flash..........

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:31 | 3405585 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

are you aware of the fact that japan could have had the atomic [hydrogen] bomb in advance of any other nation but refused to continue for the shear [lunacy/ inhumane] legacy that would follow... so the emperor ordered it stopped in it's tracks

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 21:37 | 3406465 FeralSerf
FeralSerf's picture

"our military is the best and strongest on the planet."

Unless faced by a foe that is armed with box cutters.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:23 | 3405549 bornlastnight
bornlastnight's picture

Pyongyang to Washington = 6900 miles
Pyongyang to Seattle WA = 5170 miles
Pyongyang to Honolulu = 4670 miles

Unless the Taepo Dong 2 can go further, none of their missles can reach the U.S.
Best bet is to launch a space missle and let it cruise over the U.S.  But then that's
just too obvious.  Sounds like the NK is just parroting off again to get more aid.
The approach is noval.  I give them credit for that.  Problem is there are too many
people in the U.S. who will fall for this line of crap again and appease them again.

I say let them try it and then we will whoop their butts like their butts never got whooped before.

Why does this Un dude remind me of Nero of anciant Rome.  Both nutcases.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:26 | 3405568 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

I told Rodman he should have twitted that little twit bastard more often.

 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:27 | 3405569 GOLD AND SILVER...
GOLD AND SILVER NATZI's picture

This is all such a waste of time and energy.  Until it isn't.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:28 | 3405570 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

This is seriously going to F-Up the California Budget.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:31 | 3405583 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture

hype notwithstanding - why does he need missles?  http://www.ssa.gov/aapi/2010census-data.pdf#page=20 most of whom own suitcases

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:31 | 3405591 The Old Man
The Old Man's picture

My thoughts from 3/07/13

NOTES ON NORTH KOREA

North Korea is posturing to the tune of their supposed independence from the remaining world.  So is Iran, but their in the background today. Sanctions by the world group have no meaning to a dis functioning leader who hails basketball as his ardent pleasure when so many of his "subject" citizens are supposedly suffering of starvation and lack of whatever which the media tells us. A closed national system is both a detriment and a glory to those nations who have the power to manipulate the media directed masses.  (Let's not forget Russia and {edit:"with" and Cyprus} Syria.) We sure do believe a lot of BS. This new kid on the block in North Korea is a pawn to his generals. He has no power. With all the hype that China surmounts in the media, it's all just a big load of BS. There are no real monarchs or kings left for the real people. Those supposed to that title are in fact just dubious pawns set upon a world stage for the masters to manipulate in the never ending history of who gets what and when.

We are truly slaves.

Okay, so let's just say I'm China. I really do want Taiwan. And the rumblings about some resource rich Japanese Islands. Okay. So let's get the USA involved in a stand off/all out war with North Korea to distract them whilst we take the traitors and misfits off of "our" Taiwan, and get "OUR" island back to the fold. In return we are given the task of mopping up North Korea when the USA is finished.  The USA will be so much in debt (to us) and so depleted {edit BANKRUPT} after going after real fanatics that they'll virtually "ask us to do it", (editors note: If they haven't already {edit: As Hagel has implied.}.) And in the end we will have extended our empire, our resources and our influence while the USA is deemed the "Bully" of self interest, war mongering and globalization. Shame on them. 

My, my, Mr. Kerry, {...and Mr. Hagel} you've got quite a job on your hands. Hope you bring some Heinz with you.

Is that what all this hub bub is about? Is the USA in cahoots with China to relegate Asian politics towards the Chinese? (China to the USA.... "Hey, your so concerned about it, well lets' make a deal.)  I wonder. What would you do if you had a boatload of T Notes owned by another nation? We shall see, we shall see, shan't we.

Man oh' Manichevitz,  I really could I use a beer.

In addition to the above mentioned comment I made on 3/07/13, this Nork nube has got functional nuclear material. Wars of this nature in the wrong place or the wrong time can wreak havoc environmentally not just to the Korean peninsula, but to overall contamination within vast areas of the asian continent. This guy isn't just threatening nukes, he's threatening long term aftermath. This would be a very long term economic and environmental negative impact to an already fragile system. It would force us to become more independant of asian influence and imports. 

China has to watch what it's doing here. Ruination of us wouldn't matter to them in the very long run. Are they prepared to take the short?

IMHO

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:18 | 3405801 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

Too bold, didn't read.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:18 | 3405803 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

Double

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:18 | 3405805 The Heart
The Heart's picture

"Wars of this nature in the wrong place or the wrong time can wreak havoc environmentally not just to the Korean peninsula, but to overall contamination within vast areas of the asian continent."

Bango...bing...badda...bang! You got it Sir!

Been meaning to open the dialog about this exact subject. These warmongers are really good at making war in other peoples backyards. They never consider it happening outside their own ivory towers. IF, there is any kind of detonation of any kind of radioactive weaponry ANYWHERE west of the USA, the fallout WILL eventually hit the USA in the jet stream just like that last batch of dangerous fallout did just after the March 16th nuklear explosion in fukushima. If it hits the atmosphere as it no doubt will do, it will not only contaminate the entire Asian areas like the ongoing fukushima fallout is doing NOW, but it will effectively contaminate the entire earths atmosphere in about two weeks after the ONE blast.

WAKE THE HECK UP PEOPLE!!! Why aren't you burning up the phones, faxes, and emails to your congress critters and senate toads demanding a cessation of all this warmongering for the banksters profits and losses. We the innocent American people are sick and tired of endless useless wars that ONLY PROFIT the banksters. Enough is enough! Bring all our troops home now!!

Give them No. Koreans lots of food and leave them alone! Make trade with china before china comes here to take it all. Oh, never mind, they are already here. The take over will commence after the sotero declares martial law to quell all those terrorist Americans.

Gawd, this babylonianism is all so farking stupid, and insane.

Stop the train, we want to get off here!!!!!

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:39 | 3405990 The Old Man
The Old Man's picture

Upped you 1 for the effort. If we give them food, they just become another welfare state. We already got plenty of them. Let the Chinese take care of thier borders.

I do agree that the Fukishima radiation is being fluffed off by the administration and that the consequences through medical and farming history will prove the point in the future. It's unfortunate that we sheeple have not the motivation or moral standards of our prior generation which temporarily secured us from what we may now face in todays politic and the future of our childrens' children.  We may not, for our reasons, but those generations may regret the decisions we make. Unless we are all real uninformed, real disconnected and enraptured so in our lives of plenty that we cannot pay attention to the world, then other people have to do it. You or I may disagree. You and I don't count.

It's a big club. And we ain't in it. To paraphrase a realist.

IMHO

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:32 | 3405594 MrBoompi
MrBoompi's picture

The US is just itchin for a fight, even if we're the one's picking it.  Things wouldn't turn out very for the North Koreans if they attempt to shoot even a bottle rocket.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:32 | 3405597 earleflorida
earleflorida's picture

'tis a great day to die?'

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:32 | 3405598 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

We need to chill the boy out--maybe set him up on for a duet with Psy on SNL with Dennis Rodman singing backup.  Everybody happy!

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:36 | 3405626 q99x2
q99x2's picture

This is a discouraging development because it is no longer a given that the military industrial complex will protect America? They work for banksters and we know what banksters do.

But the whole thing doesn't make sense because N.Korea will be destroyed. What if they have the backing of the banksters.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:39 | 3405642 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

We wirr destroy Disney Rand - Brend over Mickey Mouse, i gotta big one fol you...

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 00:04 | 3406844 ShakaZulu
ShakaZulu's picture

Come on Zipperhead, we are READY!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIJgAMpRG-k

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:43 | 3405665 AustrianJim
AustrianJim's picture

France approved this? Bastards!

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:46 | 3405667 MrNude
MrNude's picture

China isn't happy that it's housing bubble is imploding and I'm guessing the lower IQ'd Americans proudly displaying their ignorance across the internet with: 'OH WE WON'T PAY ANY DEBT BACK ANYWAY HEE HAWW WHAT WILL THEY DO THE LITTLE YELLOW PEOPLE HEE HAW, JESUS IS ON THE U S OF A'S SIDE' (their words not mine), every time the realisation that QE and printing is only going to cause more borrowing from China is brought up doesn't help either. 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:57 | 3405714 The Old Man
The Old Man's picture

Don't forget NASCAR. Man I'm in a mood tonight.

 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:01 | 3405730 MrNude
MrNude's picture

Nothing wrong with NASCAR, anything that makes Ecoloons piss themselves because 'fossil fuels' is good entertainment to me. 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:44 | 3405668 razorthin
razorthin's picture

Yeah, and I've given myself approval to spit in Bernanke's face.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:47 | 3405680 spinone
spinone's picture

Lets just nuke N Korea and get it over with.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:52 | 3405693 Iam Yue2
Iam Yue2's picture

Empty vessels.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:54 | 3405702 Bear
Bear's picture

You know, if rockets don't work they could always ship it here with the rates as low as they are now they could afford it.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:01 | 3405726 ironmace
ironmace's picture

I was just going to say what will they do, FedEx it?

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:02 | 3405738 Bear
Bear's picture

Better ... they could have a tracking number to check and detonate after arrival

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:54 | 3405704 mercy
mercy's picture

Payback for us sending Dennis Rodman over there?

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:01 | 3405728 ian807
ian807's picture

Well, I guess it's only fair then.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:56 | 3405706 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture

Spare Cleveland, its starving too like N Korea, Chicongo:  all their RE mkt collapsed anyhow,  girls fugly, send in Corzine!!!!! first wave....

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:02 | 3405743 MrNude
MrNude's picture

Imagine if North Korea invaded and hit Detroit first, they'd wonder if they died in transport and ended up in hell.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:13 | 3405780 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

If North Korea invaded Detroit, the North Korean army would probably find itself out-gunned by the 'hoods.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 17:59 | 3405722 The Heart
The Heart's picture

Utopia!

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:00 | 3405724 ian807
ian807's picture

So, where do you get approval for that kind of thing? Is there a form you have to fill out? What about picture ID? Is a credit check required?

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:01 | 3405737 ISEEIT
ISEEIT's picture

SHIT!

Heading to Safeway then. Hope they have some bottled water left.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:03 | 3405742 ian807
ian807's picture

Wait. Can we trade Justin Bieber in exchange for peace? Such a heavy price, but of course, we'd do it in a heartbeat. Sooner, even.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:03 | 3405745 Kelley
Kelley's picture

The response of gold and silver to possible nuclear war in th next 48 hours? Down a little. But of course, the market isn't fixed. Oh no.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:16 | 3405796 The Old Man
The Old Man's picture

$20 an oz. and I'm in.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:03 | 3405749 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

Is there any chance the North Koreans could be convinced to aim their missles at the FED?

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:05 | 3405752 YHC-FTSE
YHC-FTSE's picture

Funniest headline since, "Saddam can launch WMDs in 45 minutes at the West". 

Only a fucking retard would believe this shit that passes for "news" in the msm. They're so desperate to terrorise the gullible, the cowardly, and easily excited lobotomy candidates in the US that they had to invent fictional ("In development") missiles to draw the range on the map of the Pacific to include the US. 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:35 | 3405846 RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

Think about this though.  A nuke launched from anywhere within a few hundred miles off the East Coast.  Most any freighter would do, and you'd only need a couple of containers worth of space to store the bomb and the missile   Doesn't require an ICBM, even just an ordinary run of the mill SCUD missile could do it.   Nuke designed to maximize EMP rather than yield - which seems to be what NK has detonated in their tests.   Or a plane coming into the Philly airport.  Lots of ways to EMP air burst a nuke over the east coast.

Assume an air burst EMP nuke detinating about 20 miles over Philadelphia.  Would take out all electronics from New York down through Washington D.C..  All banking transactions clearing through NY, NYSE stock market, all Wall Street financial companies, and most of the power grid that supplies electricity to the eastern 1/2 of the US.  Poof.  Gone.    Grid down for months - we don't have replacement transformers.  The backlash from that would probably take out nearly all of the power grid in the US.    Banks and ATM cards down and unusable.  Snap/EBT cards down for the duration.    All major urban areas torn by riots and start to burn within three days after that. 

Probable death toll from just that single event - upwards of 25 million within six months.

 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:27 | 3406068 DosZap
DosZap's picture

RS,

Probable death toll from just that single event - upwards of 25 million within six months.

RS, do you not think the US has safeguarded all their nukes from any EMP event?.

I do,and the NK's if they want to survive as a entire nation would be SO STUPID to even do something this wild, it's not even a remote possiblity.They would cease to exist as a people in less than 2-3 minutes.(as we could hit them in 30secs).

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:48 | 3406307 RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

I know that our nukes are hardened.  I don't doubt our ability to respond.  But if a single event could knock the US back into pre-electricity days - essentially destroying them as a superpower from that time forward, and cause mass chaos resulting in millions of civilian casualities - well, there are more than a few people that would think it was worth ceasing-to-exist just to do that.  

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:44 | 3406138 Axenolith
Axenolith's picture

The 5-15Kt Fisher Price fission nukes that N. Korea has aren't going to do the job, Hardtack Teak and Orange were 3.8Mt fusion bombs (they caused trouble in Hawaii when detonated in the near space upper atmosphere in the south Pacific), come to think of it, a fission bomb probably doesn't generate the gamma flux needed to generate a decent EMP...

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:53 | 3406318 RSBriggs
RSBriggs's picture

North Korea’s last round of tests, conducted in May 2009, appear to have included a “super-EMP” weapon, capable of emitting enough gamma rays to disable the electric power grid across most of the lower 48 states, says Dr. Peter Vincent Pry, a former CIA nuclear weapons analyst and president of EMPact America, a citizens lobbying group.

Samore, who handles arms control and non-proliferation issues, warned that “additional strong sanctions will be imposed on the North with the support of Russia and China." North Korea’s nuclear tests have been dismissed as failures by some analysts because of their low explosive yield. But Dr. Pry believes they bore the “signature” of the Russian-designed “super-EMP” weapon, capable of emitting more gamma radiation than a 25-megaton nuclear weapon.

Read Latest Breaking News from Newsmax.com http://www.newsmax.com/KenTimmerman/super-emp-emp-northkorea-nuke/2011/06/16/id/400260#ixzz2PS2AdcAY

Quoting another source - "It is estimated that a single high altitude 15 kt EMP weapon burst 200 miles above Kansas would propagate an EMP enveloping the entire United States."

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 23:12 | 3406720 mkkby
mkkby's picture

RsBriggs, don't forget an EMP that disables the electrical grid would cause every nuclear power plant to go fukusima, as the cooling water pumps would have no power.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:05 | 3405754 Ace Ventura
Ace Ventura's picture

Not sure if anyone addressed this already....but regarding the depicted range of the Nork ICBMs....they MIGHT just have that capability by now. Notice this was the projected range back when George Tenet was head of the CIA.

This doesn't mean I think they Norks are suicidal as a whole, and if Kim Jong Quack actually goes for the big red button....I have to believe someone in his inner circle will be like:

"So sorry, Dear Reader, but you so KUHRAAAA-ZEEEE!"

And shank him on the spot. They like the perks of being in his inner circle, but if it means their imminent trip to that big utopian workers paradise in the sky.......not so much.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:05 | 3405757 max bucket
max bucket's picture

I'm glad they didn't say this at an airport check-in 

Imagine the kerfuffle!

Sky marshalls make me feel safe*

 

*they don't.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:07 | 3405760 TicoTiger
TicoTiger's picture

It is vitally important to keep that freedom-versus-evil dictator soap opera going. Otherwise the sheeple might lose interest in television land and actually wake up. Although not too likely, imagine what would happen if they actually began to understand what was really going on in their neighborhoods? That would be very, very bad for certain business Oligarths.

The evil Iranian leaders, and the evil Syrian one are just not cooperating with our plans to bring economic "freedom" to their countries. It's time to bring in a new star before MSM ratings fall even further.

Unfortunately, it will be a difficult sell and we might need another false flag or two. Anyways the pilot episode is this: imagine an evil pudgy little man trying to outdo his evil father (Dad managed to turn his tiny but noble country into a far-eastern version of Albania in just a few decades). We had better invade him ASAP because someday sonny boy might figure out how to become a world nuclear threat, once he gets his toy rocket set for Christmas.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:13 | 3405782 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

Hmmm.  So; why does China want our carrier groups in the Pacific?  So they can launch a stealth takeover of the Straits of Hormuz?

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 21:19 | 3406404 tokengator
tokengator's picture

they would need a blue water navy worth damn to pull that off. 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 23:15 | 3406731 mkkby
mkkby's picture

Takes pressure of their friends in Iran and Syria.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:12 | 3405783 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Well, I guess we now know where those missing Russian nukes went...Shop at Chechya Depot, Kim Jong-un does....

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:15 | 3405788 ptoemmes
ptoemmes's picture

How I imagine it might just work: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXkFgmQ2O-Q

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:18 | 3405798 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

the Norks are like the ex-girlfriend that keeps raising the stakes to get attention, bitch nobody cares.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:18 | 3405800 Edmond Dantes
Edmond Dantes's picture

Such amazing, alleged, nuclear technology and they haven't even mastered the age-old element of surprise? I would call them idiots, but, that'd be an insult to politicians.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:20 | 3405809 SokPOTUS
SokPOTUS's picture

"I have boaf Typo Dong 1 and Typo Dong 2!  What typo dong *you* have, wussy American?  You have circumcized?  HAHAHA!  Kim-Jong-Un have *UN*circumcized typo dong girly man - better to do my hot little North Korean Beauty Lady with!

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:20 | 3405812 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Remember that North Korea does not have to reach the US with a nuke. A high altitude explosion over the Pacific will drift radiation our way. That said, they get one freebie punch, followed shortly thereafter by the people of North Korea celebrating the passing of the soon-to-be-former Dear Leader.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:31 | 3405843 newengland
newengland's picture

Fukishima drifted to the Western USA. North Korea is just another irritant.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:30 | 3405816 AgentScruffy
AgentScruffy's picture
The CIA soon estimated that Pyongyang had not accounted for one or two nuclear weapons worth of plutonium.  In 2003, the CIA reported to Congress that Pyongyang... expected to have enough plutonium to create more nuclear bombs in the future.   That same year the North offered to refrain from exporting nuclear weapons in exchange for new rewards.   Are all of these canisters or all reprocessed plutonium derived from them still in North Korea? “Your guess is as good as mine,” a CIA spokeswoman told TNI.

http://www.atlassociety.org/tni/sidebar-plutonium-debacle
 
Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:29 | 3405841 Maos Dog
Maos Dog's picture

I am sorry if someone said this already, I didn't read all 400+ comments.

I just wanted to make a point that the missle thing is bullshit really. If he wantd to nuke us for real, they could simpy move the bombs through one of the "no-man's land" intentionally un-protected areas of the southen border, and truck it anywhere in the US. 

While we are all watching the sky, it comes in right through on the ground in Mexico. 

 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:41 | 3405860 newengland
newengland's picture

Quite. This is all bollox; a typical main scream media scare story, all for the Internationale.

The short mad kid with a bad haircut and nukes is more of a problem for China than anyone else.

Chess. Gotta love it.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 21:57 | 3406516 optimator
optimator's picture

Makes sense as Lil Kim doesn't have a weapon deliverable warhead.

I think he's just doing all this to negotiate for food.   He's missed the only money making things he has around.  All the museaums in the world would pay top buck for his rusting 50 year old air force.  Mig-21, Su 25, Mig 17, Il 28, would not even rate as target practice for F-15's.  All that said, we're where we were in early 1950, except now Red China and Russia have quite a few deliverable warheads.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:36 | 3405850 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Good thing that TWO NORTH KOREAN SUBMARINES have gone missing then uh?

http://news.tv.chosun.com/site/data/html_dir/2013/04/03/2013040390156.html

And guess what, from what has been posted right here on this thread... NKorea can put Russian long range missiles on some of it's subs... with enough payload to put a nuke on there... if the subs get close enough, they could nuke the US mainland.

BULLISH!

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:36 | 3405852 newengland
newengland's picture

The short mad kid with a bad hair cut and nukes is more China's problem than the West's. Wait and see...

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:38 | 3405863 loveyajimbo
loveyajimbo's picture

Use this as justification for an atomic strike on NK... eliminate this roach and most of his kind in one (or 20) massive blast.  Oops. forgot... Chakka Zulu had his stones surgically removed in Kenya to sing in the choir.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:44 | 3405883 newengland
newengland's picture

The short mad kid with a bad haircut and nukes wants to out-do his father in the mad man theory, and only an idiot in the West would waste time, money and blood on burying him when he is more a threat to the East than the West.

That's the problem for the West: too many time wasting money wasting Internationale schooled eejits, wasting our time, money and blood on foreigners.

Like you, apparently.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 23:51 | 3406813 ShakaZulu
ShakaZulu's picture

The real Shaka was never afraid to burn down anything.  Period.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:47 | 3405899 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

Every speech that Barry gives from this point forward should be simply; 'George Bush was right'

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 23:49 | 3406807 ShakaZulu
ShakaZulu's picture

GWB was right?  You mean when he said "They misunderestimated me."  That's a statement, not a speech anyway.  Soetoro can't talk without a teleprompter unless he "uhs" and "ahs" a few dozen times.  Pauses give time for the brain to come up with the next right lie.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:54 | 3405940 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

Look Kim, you're gonna have to start dating Black dudes if you want to keep the attention of low information voters. 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 18:58 | 3405956 FJ
FJ's picture

As a great NBA-fan Kim will want to wait until the Clippers have been eliminated from the playoffs...or does he want to eliminate the Clippers himself?

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:03 | 3405974 DarthVaderMentor
DarthVaderMentor's picture

The real tragedy is that the current administration is praying that NK attacks as soon as possible. Obama needs a war to cover up his economic mistakes, just like Roosevelt.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:17 | 3405999 chump666
chump666's picture

It's all China.

Next, they occupy the Senkaku Islands.

http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2013/04/04/national/senkaku-row-prompts...

China is going to re-define the South China sea and Asian boarders.  They are about to embark on what all western countries have embarked on in the last 200 years.  Conquest.

Lets see how the POMO, Fed, that idiot running the ECB and the crowded HFT trade...deal with this.  And you dumb ass stupid Keynesian lunatics clinging to Asia as some sought of economic wonderland.  You fools are going to sink us all.  Who owns Western debt by the mega tons?  Asia (China) can sell and convert to war-bonds.  No problems. At the same time put a bullet in the zombie (Europe/America) head.

Damn they wrote the Art of War you academic f*cking idiots.  Kicked our asses in Vietnam and making a meal of us in Afghanistan.

Well done.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:19 | 3406035 Rolf
Rolf's picture
Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:31 | 3406079 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Chump,

Hell no they did not.

 Kicked our asses in Vietnam and making a meal of us in Afghanistan.

OUR own stupid leaders did in Vietnam.

Ho Chi Minh was maybe 1-2 weeks away from total surrender, before our idiots pulled the plug.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:04 | 3406197 chump666
chump666's picture

"If your enemy is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him. If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant. If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. If his forces are united, separate them. If sovereign and subject are in accord, put division between them. Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.”  Sun Tzu"

Tet Offensive was the beginning of the end: http://www.nytimes.com/1988/01/31/world/tet-offensive-turning-point-in-v...

 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 21:25 | 3406425 tokengator
tokengator's picture

China might bite off more than they can chew if they attempt to challenge japan right now. Japanese navy is still far superior and they have by far the best sub fleet in the region. 

japan has issues...and their ground forces are nothing compared to China..but anything on the ocean and japan can more than hold their own. 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 22:25 | 3406609 chump666
chump666's picture

The war will be a stand up fight, navy and air.  I doubt there will be invasions etc.  But the Chinese will make a claim for the Islands, North Korea will occupy the disputed South Korean islands etc.

 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:15 | 3406016 Lantern
Lantern's picture

Apple paying N Korea to take out Samsung is porbably the most logical explanation 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:26 | 3406060 surf0766
surf0766's picture

Who is robbing what bank while everyone is watching this?

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:28 | 3406069 pies_lancuchowy
pies_lancuchowy's picture

now, in case - God forbid - entire USA get wiped out of the Earth, then investors certainly would look for a safe haven.. USD would strengthen as hell !

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:30 | 3406074 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Too bad they didn't release this news two days ago THAT WOULD HAVE RULED

but now all I can say is beware the Axis of Paperwork

we've gone from rattling sabers to rattling Office 2013 Shared Attack Calendars

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:32 | 3406083 pitz
pitz's picture

Time to join SUKI (tm), the motherfucking religion.  You might not be immune to a nuclear attack, but at least you will go out with style, being a member of a major international religion, The New World Religion (tm), with over two million members.  SUKI (tm) RELIGION, motherfuckers!

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:38 | 3406117 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

They began installing these nuclear scanners in ports some years ago.  Methinks the principal is: "High Intensity Gamma-Ray Source"

http://today.duke.edu/2011/04/portsecurity

 

Any ways, a quick search shows that they have had delays installing and even using them... so they say.

 

But theoretically speaking, there is some defense from one possible entry point... of thousands.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:44 | 3406134 are we there yet
are we there yet's picture

From Kims perspective what is he after with extreme odd threats, and extreme odd claims? My bet is it is related to solidifying and transitioning his fathers power over his military structure. He wants to look big and powerful (to his domestic population) on the world stage to a country where only the military is important.

Another likely scenario is that Kim is just a pawn of China to distract the west while it moves in Sun Sue style to become a far east reserve currency. China is awfully quiet about North Korea's war talk.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:45 | 3406140 Dixie Rect
Dixie Rect's picture

Too bad they can't take out San Fransicko, cause they declared themselves NUKE FREE years ago./sarc

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:56 | 3406172 deebee
deebee's picture

thats a useful graph coz if Korea was to strike, they would start by launching their most powerful missile to the US west coast.
I think I'll stick to the East Coast where the CIA will make sure no disasters take place (ya know like terrorist attacks n shit)

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 21:20 | 3406406 Charles Bishop ...
Charles Bishop Weyland's picture

Optimist.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 21:20 | 3406407 Charles Bishop ...
Charles Bishop Weyland's picture

Optimist.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 19:58 | 3406180 i8emallup
i8emallup's picture

He ordered his chef to microwave the hamburger. 

Not even a tempest in a teapot.

More worthy of "The Jersey Shore" or other reality show.

 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:13 | 3406221 lotsoffun
lotsoffun's picture

where's that freaky big boogie when you need him?  dennis - get your ... over there. and pull some strings and bring madonna too.  and the kardashians.  infact - bring the whole past, future and present dream team.  and we know big bad bama and his lady mama love 'hoops'.  dammit - you gonna be the peoples ambassador - get them all over there NOW!!

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:06 | 3406204 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

If you're really going to war, then you do so before declaring that you are doing so.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:28 | 3406252 booboo
booboo's picture

NK only option is nukes cause they sure the hell ain't got no supply trains pulling up the rear, unless they plan on eating their dead they ain't ever leaving that peninsula. Plus the bankers are licking their chops at the thought of all that slave labor they can arb. I say china holds their fire while banksters pull a classic pincer with JP Morgue and Goldman  6th Banker Army while Citi and Blackrock take up flanking positions cutting off any retreat and Ben Brigade dropping incendiary fiatscos from Dreamliners onto Pyongyang burning it to the ground.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:44 | 3406297 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

Could be pulling a page from Japan's playbook.  Few countries have more room for economic growth than North Korea.  Goad America into a war it doesn't want, have them foot the bill for recovery and infrastructure rebuilding, and in 50 years ride a bubble economy to a unified Korea temporarily become the number one economy in the world.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 21:11 | 3406375 booboo
booboo's picture

"Goad America into a war it doesn't want"

Had me glued to the page until that piece of fiction, but yes, whole lot of room for growth looting and polluting that could go on in that place.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:12 | 3406217 Lunch is for Wimps
Lunch is for Wimps's picture

Totally off topic but the FT has a leading article about Bitcoin:

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/b4be7d8e-9c73-11e2-9a4b-00144feabdc0.html

Two good quotes:

"Trading tulips in real time"

And:

"Governments don't like competition in the currency business."

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 21:08 | 3406371 HulkHogan
HulkHogan's picture

Hold on to those quotes. You can use them when The Bits crash and burn in a fiery death.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:21 | 3406238 StarTedStackin'
StarTedStackin''s picture

If Obama wasn't such a flaming fag pussy, he would respond to this ass clown.

 

 

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 21:24 | 3406417 Charles Bishop ...
Charles Bishop Weyland's picture

OOH. Macho. that's EXACTLY what would help right now.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 21:23 | 3406418 Charles Bishop ...
Charles Bishop Weyland's picture

OOH. Macho. that's EXACTLY what would help right now.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 21:59 | 3406456 mendigo
mendigo's picture

a "fag pussy" - I think that might count as a mixed metaphor and with flames

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:27 | 3406254 Dane17
Dane17's picture

One EMP nuke launched off the deck of an offshore cargo ship and we are potentially in the 1800s.

If you have an electric lock gun safe may want to leave it unlocked till this resolves......

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:27 | 3406256 Restcase
Restcase's picture

May I remind everyone that in the final moment of the final episode of The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret (filmed over a year ago) Todd, through his trademark mistaken judgement, pushes North Korea's button to launch a pre-emptive nuclear strike against the USA.

It would seem the scriptwriters had it wrong. Rather than Todd being a confused puppet of Pyongyang, he should have been shown running NK as their new dicator.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:27 | 3406258 Restcase
Restcase's picture

Dupe. I too pushed the wrong button.

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:37 | 3406281 Gloomy Gus
Gloomy Gus's picture

Has anyone noticed that the article has a Mercator projection for a map, and the ranges for the various missiles are circular ?  What, the further north the missile flies, the less range it has ?  Ah, maybe 'cause it's having to fly up on the map...

Wed, 04/03/2013 - 20:43 | 3406291 kinetik
kinetik's picture

What about an EMP attack on China from NK? Or Japan?

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