Six Steps To "Stash Your Cash" Offshore

Tyler Durden's picture

From wealthy citizens trying to pay less tax, to savvy swindlers and drug lords with riches to hide, people have spent decades stealthily shifting money via European principalities, Caribbean archipelagos, and Pacific islands. ICIJ provides the following simple six-step process for 'stashing your cash'; from 'Choosing a haven' to creating a 'secret identity' and from opening the 'right' bank account to how to 'move' the money; this picturesque guide may be indispensable as Europe's final 'deposit haircut' solution draws ever closer - especially now we know there is 'no plan B." The muddle-through is over...

Step 1 - Choose A Haven
For people hiding money, choosing one of the world's 60 or so offshore jurisdictions is tricky. Each has advantages and drawbacks. It' snot unusual for secrecy seekers to continually move funds around, trying to find the best place for their assets...

Step 2: Create A (Secret) Identity
Next, a tax dodger would create a corporation, trust or other entity to disguise the true name behind their offshore money. For extra secrecy, they often pay front-people called 'nominees' to serve - on paper at least - as the entity's director.

Step 3 - Open A Bank Account
The secret company or trust needs a bank account. A person wanting extra anonymity will sometimes open the account in a different offshore locale than where the comany or trust is registered. Not: Banks usually ask about the source of incoming money to curtail money-laundering.

Step 4 - Move The Money
Creating a secret offshore company or bank account isn't in itself illegal. But in this step, people needing to move money into their accounts undetected have found a variety of ways to skirt the law.

Step 5 - Invest The Money
Offshore money can be invested into mutual funds, bonds, stocks, property - you name it. For those who don;t plan to declare the investment income, as required by law, this is where offshore secrecy works to their advantage: Profits compounded out of sight of the taxman.

Step 6 - Spend The Money
Bringing untaxed offshore money back home to spend presents a dilemma for the ethically challenged. One option is to just come clean to tax authorities and avoid possible jail time. Most methods involve deceit and constitute illegal tax evasion.

No one know for sure how much of the planet's private wealth is parked in tax havens. One estimate is that there's $32 trillion stashed offshore; a more conservative calculation puts it a minimum of $8 trillion. Either way, that means tens - if not hundreds - of billions of dollars in last tax revenues for the world's governments.

Now do you understand why these 2.5 million files covering 120,000 offshore entities was 'accidentally' leaked into the public purview... governments realize that they are running out of options fast and as we noted before - the muddling through is almost over.

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LawsofPhysics's picture

When fraud is the status quo, possession rapidly becomes the law.  Don't think beyond that, and a dependable tribe of course, period.

prains's picture

why is CBC <canadian broadcast company> going full nut crack on the oldest game in town (second to professional nut crackin) now???? 

end game please ZH??

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Pladizow's picture

Step one - renounce US citizenship and leave the plantation!

These slides fail to say:

1. Choose a country with no US ties or treaties!

2. Choose a bank that has NO US branches!

3. Choose a county that this type of planning makes up a large % of its GDP.

4. Make sue trust has a "duress" clause!

DJ Happy Ending's picture

Serious question:

Unless you are wealthy, how is this superior to buying gold and physically holding it yourself?

Urban Redneck's picture

The way they mistakenly describe it - it isn't,

Oracle of Kypseli's picture

Show them a US passport and they say: Next please.

Just get yourself a second passport and do what you need. It does not even need to be a tax haven.

Singapore will let you become resident if you deposit 50k. Hell the business class aifare will set you back 7k. That was your tax you were trying to avoid. 

If you don't have 500k just stay put and use 1 business bank and 3 different credit unions.

LawsofPhysics's picture

Please elaborate.  Is this the same CBC that is the brainchild of several wealthy French families? 

jimmytorpedo's picture

More of the Hegelian dialectic.

CBC is few full pinko these days.

Hate the rich blah blah blah.

They need to pay their fair share and have more stolen by useless beauraucrats.

Sudden Debt's picture

well... I'm still stuck at step ZERO
create your first million....

if only I didn't spend anything for about... oooohhh let's say 20 years or so....

than I'd be able to go to step 1....

I pay higher taxes because richer guys don't.

Sure! If you got the possibility... why not.

So it's only 1 who's responsible= politicians.

they don't need to get involved into the economy or create jobs. They only need to make it as fair as possible.

and hang those who don't... and that they should hang themselves for spending like looney's....

TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

well I'm stuck working on my 5th million. 


I gave up on the first four.

Buck Johnson's picture

For one, Canada has alot of financial issues that they are hiding along with the UK.  This large file that was on a hard drive and had all this information is setting the stage for the one thing that govt. can do and is a hailmary.  And that is put the blame on someone else, you know those rich men and women who failed to pay taxes etc. etc..  This way they can confiscate and tax (penalize tax) the Trillions that they hope is out there that can buy them more time.  Because the want to keep pushing the muddle as long as possible before they say something like "due to the economic crisis, we will have to cut food stamps by 80%, SS by 60%, Medicare by 50% and on top of that tax your savings account by 20% and increase taxes along with confiscating gold".  This would cause an upheaval and a change in the type of govt. in the US.



The Heart's picture

"...possession rapidly becomes the law."

And the law is the Law!

Also, the real end game is to rout out all the babylonians can to electronically track, trace, and yes, tax every single dime of all those trillions...eventually.

Hail the god alone knows all...sees all...wants all....debts all.

Possession is nine-tenths of the Law of to Have and to Hold forever.

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

I have serious 'heartburn' with the authorities' attempts to demean offshoring at two levels:

A.  The level of totalitarian control being exercised by TPTB, and the control being accepted by the 'ruled' (sheep), and

B.  The "rental" fee being levied for owning financial assets which have already been taxed.  I can accept that one must lawfully report "income" on such offshore assets, but not the assets themselves. 

Large corporations do this routinely and openly, and not one politician is making a big deal about it.  So, if a corporations are "people" -- albeit "people" who can't be jailed -- then flesh & blood 'people' should be able to use the same rules, and principles also.  And use them with impunity and 100% guilt-free.

Unless I'm misinformed or mistaken, and depending on what country of residency one chooses, the offshore income on the "expatriated assets" can be taxed beneficially (little to no taxes) in whatever jurisdiction of one's residency.  And if all this is legal -- and I understand that it IS -- then the only "bludgeon" that desperate and broke sovereign countries have is to "guilt trip" people into "repatriating" the income back to their high-tax, broke, socialist economies?  Because what, they are just SO much more 'worthy' or 'ethical'? 

ROTF, LMAO.  Sorry, no Stockholm Syndrome here.


jimmytorpedo's picture

Check out the local rag in Cayman.

McKeiver Bush (PM) is thrown out and jailed.

(they weren't his explosives,... no really)

TPTB are going to raid all offshore acc'ts once done with Malta, Luxembourg etc

Even if its legal they can make it retroactively illegal with a pen stroke.

Freddie's picture

My secret identity is Jon Corzine.  I am untouchable then.

LawsofPhysics's picture

Remind us, how did "stashing the cash offshore" work out for those with such accounts in Cyprus again?  Halarious.

angel_of_joy's picture

Apparently, it worked just fine.

People were able to move out their money just in time, on a "need to know" basis...

LawsofPhysics's picture

Most are not in that "club" unfortunately.

centerline's picture

Looks like we are entering into the timeframe where those who "thought" they are in the club find out the "real" club was even smaller and they are not in it.  lol.

McMolotov's picture

This is the crucial point. Those who are the most well-connected won't get touched at all. Period. Those who are the most well-connected are in the best position to get warnings or simply bribe officials. Hell, some of those who are the most well-connected are the same ones who run the whole scam. Think they'll go after themselves?

Some of the big money will get hit, but that'll be the people who aren't important. The system is imploding, and it will come after the average person long before it turns on the people at the top who call the shots.

TheGardener's picture

20 years ago offshore bankers would tell you that this will never happen in your lifetime or the half life of your home democracies. No public procurement without the money waiting at trustees for the facilitators accounts. No entrepreneurs
in high tax countries without save deposits off shore deemed
trust worthy for serious deals, no foreign direct investment
that was not channeled out of whimsical third world administrators in the first place to be re-invested.

They are done, they are going for the mark of the bones
of the world economy. The real economy and any semblances
of real money are on the altar, only blood letting hence forth

TheGardener's picture

And with the war on cash they declared in once free countries : sorry to say , pay cash only or be taken with them once this underlying issue is dissolved.

No mercy with collaborators. Take cash only or perish as them.

Pure Evil's picture

Everything worked out great. Everybody got a haircut just in time for summer. I went to the barber last week and had 85% of my hair trimmed off, and they called it "The Fade".

Kreditanstalt's picture

Stay away from banks, bank accounts and brokerage accounts.    Buy bullion.

CrashisOptimistic's picture

There was no money in the Garden of Eden.  No medium of exchange, including gold.

The value of those items is all in the mind.

Only calories have value, and you only get those via oil, and farmland.

You can't very well own oil, but you can own farmland.  Nothing else has value outside your mind.

DosZap's picture


There was no money in the Garden of Eden. No medium of exchange, including gold.(That was in a Perfect world,and only TWO humans in it).

What has been used as primarily as the God given items for money use, and a store of value  worldwide for nearly  6000yrs?.Gold & Silver.

but you can own farmland.

Really YOU think you can OWN farmland?.Outright OWN it?.( I cannot,what I DO hold title to 100% ownership of, I still do not OWN.

And I know you are smart enough to know why!.The same reason YOU cannot ever own it.

Totentänzerlied's picture

There was no Garden of Eden, first, and there was no commerce, second, because everything was handed to the imaginary occupants of this imaginary realm by their imaginary god, except a certain fruit, apparently. The analogy is terrible. But on the point of calories, you are only myopic in a manner even BF Skinner would find objectionable, not wrong. Calories, water, air, shelter, peace, a stable kin group, a usable language, the skills to acquire what you need, all of these things have intrinsic value for humans.

Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Kreditanstallt (CreditInstitution): "Stay away from banks, bank accounts and brokerage accounts.    Buy bullion."

My advice is more shrewd and robust: 

1. Stay away from 1-size-fits-all solutions, as there is ALWAYS a scenario where ANY given solution has its limits or runs into problems for its owners.  The ONLY intellectually honest and risk-mitigating counter-measure is to DIVERSIFY.  This takes the form of asset TYPE and GEOGRAPHIC diversification.

2. If anyone tells you otherwise, you must question their intellect, their competence and/or their agenda.  Or you deserve all the grief, pain and loss you invariably get.

Here's an example...  I know of an entrepreneur who lawfully earned millions (with imagination and hard work) and paid taxes on his profits in the last 2 1/2 years.  Unfortunately for him, he violated the above principles and stashed all millions in one place.  In this case, in one bank in Cyprus -- while living as an expat on another island in the New World.  Sad to say, he lost 2/3 of his millions.  You can imagine how he feels (a) for the theft and (b) his own stupidity of violating diversification rules. 

/Do you think he's likely to repeat his 1-size-fits-all solution?  Any bets?  I accept vetted bullion only. /s

olto's picture


You are right on track, dude----why, indeed?

And why is it being presented to us 'little people' at ZH?

Might it not be because the banks will give us up instead of tax dollars or 'jail time'.

Go for it, dudes and dudettes-----I'm certain that no one here will give you up.

Shizzmoney's picture

I was glad to see Denise Rich on that list.  Fuck that bitch.

Freddie's picture

Where did you see that c**t's name?

Popthestock's picture

Oh god, here we go again. Just put them in your british bank or any other stable country in Europe, and get interest on your deposit. Nothing will happen to your money. You can put them in stocks aswell. One thing you shouldnt do is puttin them in gold. Gold is over bitchez, its finished. its getting slammed right now. Gold was and is probably the biggest bubble we have seen. And the gold bugs will pay for that. Sell gold, stocks is the place to be.

resurger's picture

Am going to sell right away!!! NOW .

Yup stocks sold. Done.



AndItsGone's picture

Hi! Welcome to Zerohedge. To minimize misunderstandings, before you continue making posts like these, you need to let the ZH community know how many levels of recursive thinking to apply to your contributions. Please mark one of the options below:

_____ Zero! I honestly believe what I'm writing. Someone posted a link to Zerohedge on Yahoo! finance messageboard, and here I am. Also, what is recursive thinking? Is that a trading platform?

_____ One! This account is an impeccable parody of a bulltard. I will troll extensively, and about 40% of ZH posters will not get my dry humor.

_____ Two! I don't believe what I'm writing, but I get paid $0.32 from an account in Reston, VA every time I say something like this.

_____ Three! This account is a parody of an NSA bot mimicing a bulltard. Also, I lost my totem and don't know if this is reality or a dream.

notadouche's picture

Getting into stocks at this high of an altitude with this broken global economy sounds like the smart money play to me.  In the words of Bush Sr,:  "Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture".  Or I should say in the words of Dana Carvey doing Bush Sr.

Gold bugs will pay for sure.  They love it when prices tumble because they aren't in it for a trade, they are in it for eternity so they will most definitely pay.  

Why is an owner of gold called a bug?  As if it is some sort of "dirty" low rent thing to do?  i wonder who wanted to assign a negative connotation to owning gold and when they did it?  Curious.

olto's picture



and a red

Pool Shark's picture



"Stock bug"

"Fiat Bug"

"paper bug"

"Bank account bug"


Freddie's picture

Paul Krugman = Dung Beetle

TheWolverine's picture

Krugman =  JizzWhistling shitpuppet 

akak's picture


Why is an owner of gold called a bug?  As if it is some sort of "dirty" low rent thing to do?  i wonder who wanted to assign a negative connotation to owning gold and when they did it?  Curious.

It probably originated from the same group of people who redefined US aggressive war and all US military spending as "defense", or who decided the label the private ownership of that which the government wishes to confiscate from its citizens, or otherwise finds it inconvenient or threatening for them to own, as "hoarding".

Pseudo Anonym's picture


It probably originated from..... [nonsense]

gold bugs is an acronym of a dollar weighted index of companies active in gold mining - The NYSE Arca Gold BUGS (Basket of Unhedged Gold Stocks) Index (HUI)

akak's picture

Great (and disingenous) way to sidestep the issue.

Too bad it isn't the first time for you here, either.

Ag1761's picture

Why is an owner of gold called a bug?

I've often pondered on this one too.

Some common descriptions to be found state:

1. Any of several North American beetles, especially Metriona bicolor, having a golden metallic luster. Also called gold beetle. 2. A speculator in or a purchaser of gold. 3. An investor who is very bullish in buying the commodity gold (XAU - ISO 4217).
4. A person who opposes or criticises the use of fiat currency and supports a return to the use of the Gold Standard or some other currency system based on the value of gold and other hard assets.
5. Someone who considers one commodity, usually gold, "the appropriate measure of wealth, regardless of the quantity of other goods and services that it can buy". However, if we look more closely at what a bug is: a bug  is a particular kind of insect , specifically belonging to the order Hemiptera (tough leathery forewings attached to the body - like ladybugs, beetles) while insects generally belong to the class Insecta, which have bodies in three segments, usually two pairs or wings and three pairs of legs (like bees, mosquitoes); spiders are not technically insects because they have four pairs of legs
insect  (from Latin animal insectum) literally meant 'divided animal' or 'cut up or into' from the segments of its body (head, thorax, abdomen) - the common word being ' bug '; insect is any of an extremely large group of small invertebrate animals - and most undergo metamorphosis while bug denotes a special group of insects with beaklike sucking mouth parts and partly membranous forewings.
As a PM bug, I like to think of myself as a member of that special group that has woken up and come to realise what many of our ancestors knew, the value of gold as a hard asset and having wealth preservation without counterparty risk, which our current banking elite and MSM at every opportunity attempt to tag the negative connotation to the awakened by tarnishing our kind with the term bug. An insect, parasite or bacterium to be swatted with rolled up Fiat.
Pseudo Anonym's picture

sheesh, unbelievable.

Why is an owner of gold called a bug?

because: gold bugs is an acronym of a dollar weighted index of companies active in gold mining - The NYSE Arca Gold BUGS (Basket of Unhedged Gold Stocks) Index (HUI)

scrappy's picture

The word "gold bug" comes from American history in the 1890's.

Gold bugs wore their gold lapels in support of their monetary cause.

In response William Jennings Bryan gave his "cross of gold" speach.


StychoKiller's picture

Edgar Allen Poe wrote a short story called "The Gold Bug", read it.