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Six Steps To "Stash Your Cash" Offshore

Tyler Durden's picture


From wealthy citizens trying to pay less tax, to savvy swindlers and drug lords with riches to hide, people have spent decades stealthily shifting money via European principalities, Caribbean archipelagos, and Pacific islands. ICIJ provides the following simple six-step process for 'stashing your cash'; from 'Choosing a haven' to creating a 'secret identity' and from opening the 'right' bank account to how to 'move' the money; this picturesque guide may be indispensable as Europe's final 'deposit haircut' solution draws ever closer - especially now we know there is 'no plan B." The muddle-through is over...

Step 1 - Choose A Haven
For people hiding money, choosing one of the world's 60 or so offshore jurisdictions is tricky. Each has advantages and drawbacks. It' snot unusual for secrecy seekers to continually move funds around, trying to find the best place for their assets...

Step 2: Create A (Secret) Identity
Next, a tax dodger would create a corporation, trust or other entity to disguise the true name behind their offshore money. For extra secrecy, they often pay front-people called 'nominees' to serve - on paper at least - as the entity's director.

Step 3 - Open A Bank Account
The secret company or trust needs a bank account. A person wanting extra anonymity will sometimes open the account in a different offshore locale than where the comany or trust is registered. Not: Banks usually ask about the source of incoming money to curtail money-laundering.

Step 4 - Move The Money
Creating a secret offshore company or bank account isn't in itself illegal. But in this step, people needing to move money into their accounts undetected have found a variety of ways to skirt the law.

Step 5 - Invest The Money
Offshore money can be invested into mutual funds, bonds, stocks, property - you name it. For those who don;t plan to declare the investment income, as required by law, this is where offshore secrecy works to their advantage: Profits compounded out of sight of the taxman.

Step 6 - Spend The Money
Bringing untaxed offshore money back home to spend presents a dilemma for the ethically challenged. One option is to just come clean to tax authorities and avoid possible jail time. Most methods involve deceit and constitute illegal tax evasion.

No one know for sure how much of the planet's private wealth is parked in tax havens. One estimate is that there's $32 trillion stashed offshore; a more conservative calculation puts it a minimum of $8 trillion. Either way, that means tens - if not hundreds - of billions of dollars in last tax revenues for the world's governments.

Now do you understand why these 2.5 million files covering 120,000 offshore entities was 'accidentally' leaked into the public purview... governments realize that they are running out of options fast and as we noted before - the muddling through is almost over.


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Thu, 04/04/2013 - 14:59 | 3409283 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

When fraud is the status quo, possession rapidly becomes the law.  Don't think beyond that, and a dependable tribe of course, period.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:01 | 3409295 prains
prains's picture

why is CBC <canadian broadcast company> going full nut crack on the oldest game in town (second to professional nut crackin) now???? 

end game please ZH??

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:04 | 3409311 Careless Whisper
Careless Whisper's picture

The Careless Whisper Afternoon Update & Threadjacking AHEAD OF DRUDGE

Steve Cohen's Ex-Wife Says He's A Member Of "The Wharton Mafia" That Did Insider Trading

Bribe Plot Cooperating Witness Had Fundraising Ties To NY Attorney General Eric Schneiderman

Twitter Deletes #FreeEdgar But Allows Alleged Victim To Keep Posting

NYPD Cop Arrested For Leading 21 Member Gang In Police Uniform That Robbed Drug Dealers Of Millions In Cash Plus Kilos

Walmart Discounts iPad Mini






Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:39 | 3409427 Pladizow
Pladizow's picture

Step one - renounce US citizenship and leave the plantation!

These slides fail to say:

1. Choose a country with no US ties or treaties!

2. Choose a bank that has NO US branches!

3. Choose a county that this type of planning makes up a large % of its GDP.

4. Make sue trust has a "duress" clause!

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:07 | 3409559 DJ Happy Ending
DJ Happy Ending's picture

Serious question:

Unless you are wealthy, how is this superior to buying gold and physically holding it yourself?

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:10 | 3409574 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

The way they mistakenly describe it - it isn't,

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:39 | 3409693 Oracle of Kypseli
Oracle of Kypseli's picture

Show them a US passport and they say: Next please.

Just get yourself a second passport and do what you need. It does not even need to be a tax haven.

Singapore will let you become resident if you deposit 50k. Hell the business class aifare will set you back 7k. That was your tax you were trying to avoid. 

If you don't have 500k just stay put and use 1 business bank and 3 different credit unions.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:15 | 3409588 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Step 2: Just don't prick me!

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:06 | 3409318 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Please elaborate.  Is this the same CBC that is the brainchild of several wealthy French families? 

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 20:26 | 3410452 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

More of the Hegelian dialectic.

CBC is few full pinko these days.

Hate the rich blah blah blah.

They need to pay their fair share and have more stolen by useless beauraucrats.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:18 | 3409374 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

well... I'm still stuck at step ZERO
create your first million....

if only I didn't spend anything for about... oooohhh let's say 20 years or so....

than I'd be able to go to step 1....

I pay higher taxes because richer guys don't.

Sure! If you got the possibility... why not.

So it's only 1 who's responsible= politicians.

they don't need to get involved into the economy or create jobs. They only need to make it as fair as possible.

and hang those who don't... and that they should hang themselves for spending like looney's....

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:48 | 3409506 TPTB_r_TBTF
TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

well I'm stuck working on my 5th million. 


I gave up on the first four.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:17 | 3409599 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Gees, and i'm down to my 2 million and felt bad.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 22:48 | 3410910 Buck Johnson
Buck Johnson's picture

For one, Canada has alot of financial issues that they are hiding along with the UK.  This large file that was on a hard drive and had all this information is setting the stage for the one thing that govt. can do and is a hailmary.  And that is put the blame on someone else, you know those rich men and women who failed to pay taxes etc. etc..  This way they can confiscate and tax (penalize tax) the Trillions that they hope is out there that can buy them more time.  Because the want to keep pushing the muddle as long as possible before they say something like "due to the economic crisis, we will have to cut food stamps by 80%, SS by 60%, Medicare by 50% and on top of that tax your savings account by 20% and increase taxes along with confiscating gold".  This would cause an upheaval and a change in the type of govt. in the US.



Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:20 | 3409381 The Heart
The Heart's picture

"...possession rapidly becomes the law."

And the law is the Law!

Also, the real end game is to rout out all the babylonians can to electronically track, trace, and yes, tax every single dime of all those trillions...eventually.

Hail the god alone knows all...sees all...wants all....debts all.

Possession is nine-tenths of the Law of to Have and to Hold forever.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 20:28 | 3410369 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

I have serious 'heartburn' with the authorities' attempts to demean offshoring at two levels:

A.  The level of totalitarian control being exercised by TPTB, and the control being accepted by the 'ruled' (sheep), and

B.  The "rental" fee being levied for owning financial assets which have already been taxed.  I can accept that one must lawfully report "income" on such offshore assets, but not the assets themselves. 

Large corporations do this routinely and openly, and not one politician is making a big deal about it.  So, if a corporations are "people" -- albeit "people" who can't be jailed -- then flesh & blood 'people' should be able to use the same rules, and principles also.  And use them with impunity and 100% guilt-free.

Unless I'm misinformed or mistaken, and depending on what country of residency one chooses, the offshore income on the "expatriated assets" can be taxed beneficially (little to no taxes) in whatever jurisdiction of one's residency.  And if all this is legal -- and I understand that it IS -- then the only "bludgeon" that desperate and broke sovereign countries have is to "guilt trip" people into "repatriating" the income back to their high-tax, broke, socialist economies?  Because what, they are just SO much more 'worthy' or 'ethical'? 

ROTF, LMAO.  Sorry, no Stockholm Syndrome here.


Thu, 04/04/2013 - 20:30 | 3410468 jimmytorpedo
jimmytorpedo's picture

Check out the local rag in Cayman.

McKeiver Bush (PM) is thrown out and jailed.

(they weren't his explosives,... no really)

TPTB are going to raid all offshore acc'ts once done with Malta, Luxembourg etc

Even if its legal they can make it retroactively illegal with a pen stroke.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:57 | 3409741 Freddie
Freddie's picture

My secret identity is Jon Corzine.  I am untouchable then.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:00 | 3409290 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Remind us, how did "stashing the cash offshore" work out for those with such accounts in Cyprus again?  Halarious.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:06 | 3409325 angel_of_joy
angel_of_joy's picture

Apparently, it worked just fine.

People were able to move out their money just in time, on a "need to know" basis...

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:07 | 3409329 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Most are not in that "club" unfortunately.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:16 | 3409366 centerline
centerline's picture

Looks like we are entering into the timeframe where those who "thought" they are in the club find out the "real" club was even smaller and they are not in it.  lol.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:19 | 3409379 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

This is the crucial point. Those who are the most well-connected won't get touched at all. Period. Those who are the most well-connected are in the best position to get warnings or simply bribe officials. Hell, some of those who are the most well-connected are the same ones who run the whole scam. Think they'll go after themselves?

Some of the big money will get hit, but that'll be the people who aren't important. The system is imploding, and it will come after the average person long before it turns on the people at the top who call the shots.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:41 | 3409467 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

20 years ago offshore bankers would tell you that this will never happen in your lifetime or the half life of your home democracies. No public procurement without the money waiting at trustees for the facilitators accounts. No entrepreneurs
in high tax countries without save deposits off shore deemed
trust worthy for serious deals, no foreign direct investment
that was not channeled out of whimsical third world administrators in the first place to be re-invested.

They are done, they are going for the mark of the bones
of the world economy. The real economy and any semblances
of real money are on the altar, only blood letting hence forth

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:52 | 3409512 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

And with the war on cash they declared in once free countries : sorry to say , pay cash only or be taken with them once this underlying issue is dissolved.

No mercy with collaborators. Take cash only or perish as them.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:21 | 3409617 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Everytime I buy something i ask "Do you take cash?" 

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:09 | 3409331 Pure Evil
Pure Evil's picture

Everything worked out great. Everybody got a haircut just in time for summer. I went to the barber last week and had 85% of my hair trimmed off, and they called it "The Fade".

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:10 | 3409340 Kreditanstalt
Kreditanstalt's picture

Stay away from banks, bank accounts and brokerage accounts.    Buy bullion.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:41 | 3409473 CrashisOptimistic
CrashisOptimistic's picture

There was no money in the Garden of Eden.  No medium of exchange, including gold.

The value of those items is all in the mind.

Only calories have value, and you only get those via oil, and farmland.

You can't very well own oil, but you can own farmland.  Nothing else has value outside your mind.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:04 | 3409553 DosZap
DosZap's picture


There was no money in the Garden of Eden. No medium of exchange, including gold.(That was in a Perfect world,and only TWO humans in it).

What has been used as primarily as the God given items for money use, and a store of value  worldwide for nearly  6000yrs?.Gold & Silver.

but you can own farmland.

Really YOU think you can OWN farmland?.Outright OWN it?.( I cannot,what I DO hold title to 100% ownership of, I still do not OWN.

And I know you are smart enough to know why!.The same reason YOU cannot ever own it.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:38 | 3409685 Totentänzerlied
Totentänzerlied's picture

There was no Garden of Eden, first, and there was no commerce, second, because everything was handed to the imaginary occupants of this imaginary realm by their imaginary god, except a certain fruit, apparently. The analogy is terrible. But on the point of calories, you are only myopic in a manner even BF Skinner would find objectionable, not wrong. Calories, water, air, shelter, peace, a stable kin group, a usable language, the skills to acquire what you need, all of these things have intrinsic value for humans.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 20:55 | 3410512 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Kreditanstallt (CreditInstitution): "Stay away from banks, bank accounts and brokerage accounts.    Buy bullion."

My advice is more shrewd and robust: 

1. Stay away from 1-size-fits-all solutions, as there is ALWAYS a scenario where ANY given solution has its limits or runs into problems for its owners.  The ONLY intellectually honest and risk-mitigating counter-measure is to DIVERSIFY.  This takes the form of asset TYPE and GEOGRAPHIC diversification.

2. If anyone tells you otherwise, you must question their intellect, their competence and/or their agenda.  Or you deserve all the grief, pain and loss you invariably get.

Here's an example...  I know of an entrepreneur who lawfully earned millions (with imagination and hard work) and paid taxes on his profits in the last 2 1/2 years.  Unfortunately for him, he violated the above principles and stashed all millions in one place.  In this case, in one bank in Cyprus -- while living as an expat on another island in the New World.  Sad to say, he lost 2/3 of his millions.  You can imagine how he feels (a) for the theft and (b) his own stupidity of violating diversification rules. 

/Do you think he's likely to repeat his 1-size-fits-all solution?  Any bets?  I accept vetted bullion only. /s

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:42 | 3409698 olto
olto's picture


You are right on track, dude----why, indeed?

And why is it being presented to us 'little people' at ZH?

Might it not be because the banks will give us up instead of tax dollars or 'jail time'.

Go for it, dudes and dudettes-----I'm certain that no one here will give you up.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:04 | 3409314 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture

I was glad to see Denise Rich on that list.  Fuck that bitch.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 17:18 | 3409859 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Where did you see that c**t's name?

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:06 | 3409315 Popthestock
Popthestock's picture

Oh god, here we go again. Just put them in your british bank or any other stable country in Europe, and get interest on your deposit. Nothing will happen to your money. You can put them in stocks aswell. One thing you shouldnt do is puttin them in gold. Gold is over bitchez, its finished. its getting slammed right now. Gold was and is probably the biggest bubble we have seen. And the gold bugs will pay for that. Sell gold, stocks is the place to be.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:05 | 3409321 morning
morning's picture

which stock, o oracle?

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:11 | 3409348 resurger
resurger's picture

Am going to sell right away!!! NOW .

Yup stocks sold. Done.



Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:22 | 3409396 AndItsGone
AndItsGone's picture

Hi! Welcome to Zerohedge. To minimize misunderstandings, before you continue making posts like these, you need to let the ZH community know how many levels of recursive thinking to apply to your contributions. Please mark one of the options below:

_____ Zero! I honestly believe what I'm writing. Someone posted a link to Zerohedge on Yahoo! finance messageboard, and here I am. Also, what is recursive thinking? Is that a trading platform?

_____ One! This account is an impeccable parody of a bulltard. I will troll extensively, and about 40% of ZH posters will not get my dry humor.

_____ Two! I don't believe what I'm writing, but I get paid $0.32 from an account in Reston, VA every time I say something like this.

_____ Three! This account is a parody of an NSA bot mimicing a bulltard. Also, I lost my totem and don't know if this is reality or a dream.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 18:50 | 3410197 Spigot
Spigot's picture

most excellent

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:28 | 3409413 notadouche
notadouche's picture

Getting into stocks at this high of an altitude with this broken global economy sounds like the smart money play to me.  In the words of Bush Sr,:  "Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture".  Or I should say in the words of Dana Carvey doing Bush Sr.

Gold bugs will pay for sure.  They love it when prices tumble because they aren't in it for a trade, they are in it for eternity so they will most definitely pay.  

Why is an owner of gold called a bug?  As if it is some sort of "dirty" low rent thing to do?  i wonder who wanted to assign a negative connotation to owning gold and when they did it?  Curious.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:35 | 3409448 resurger
resurger's picture



Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:45 | 3409703 olto
olto's picture



and a red

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:41 | 3409470 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture



"Stock bug"

"Fiat Bug"

"paper bug"

"Bank account bug"


Thu, 04/04/2013 - 17:22 | 3409882 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Paul Krugman = Dung Beetle

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 22:27 | 3410829 TheWolverine
TheWolverine's picture

Krugman =  JizzWhistling shitpuppet 

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:48 | 3409706 akak
akak's picture


Why is an owner of gold called a bug?  As if it is some sort of "dirty" low rent thing to do?  i wonder who wanted to assign a negative connotation to owning gold and when they did it?  Curious.

It probably originated from the same group of people who redefined US aggressive war and all US military spending as "defense", or who decided the label the private ownership of that which the government wishes to confiscate from its citizens, or otherwise finds it inconvenient or threatening for them to own, as "hoarding".

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 17:20 | 3409871 Pseudo Anonym
Pseudo Anonym's picture


It probably originated from..... [nonsense]

gold bugs is an acronym of a dollar weighted index of companies active in gold mining - The NYSE Arca Gold BUGS (Basket of Unhedged Gold Stocks) Index (HUI)

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 17:48 | 3409996 akak
akak's picture

Great (and disingenous) way to sidestep the issue.

Too bad it isn't the first time for you here, either.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 17:01 | 3409780 Ag1761
Ag1761's picture

Why is an owner of gold called a bug?

I've often pondered on this one too.

Some common descriptions to be found state:

1. Any of several North American beetles, especially Metriona bicolor, having a golden metallic luster. Also called gold beetle. 2. A speculator in or a purchaser of gold. 3. An investor who is very bullish in buying the commodity gold (XAU - ISO 4217).
4. A person who opposes or criticises the use of fiat currency and supports a return to the use of the Gold Standard or some other currency system based on the value of gold and other hard assets.
5. Someone who considers one commodity, usually gold, "the appropriate measure of wealth, regardless of the quantity of other goods and services that it can buy". However, if we look more closely at what a bug is: a bug  is a particular kind of insect , specifically belonging to the order Hemiptera (tough leathery forewings attached to the body - like ladybugs, beetles) while insects generally belong to the class Insecta, which have bodies in three segments, usually two pairs or wings and three pairs of legs (like bees, mosquitoes); spiders are not technically insects because they have four pairs of legs
insect  (from Latin animal insectum) literally meant 'divided animal' or 'cut up or into' from the segments of its body (head, thorax, abdomen) - the common word being ' bug '; insect is any of an extremely large group of small invertebrate animals - and most undergo metamorphosis while bug denotes a special group of insects with beaklike sucking mouth parts and partly membranous forewings.
As a PM bug, I like to think of myself as a member of that special group that has woken up and come to realise what many of our ancestors knew, the value of gold as a hard asset and having wealth preservation without counterparty risk, which our current banking elite and MSM at every opportunity attempt to tag the negative connotation to the awakened by tarnishing our kind with the term bug. An insect, parasite or bacterium to be swatted with rolled up Fiat.
Thu, 04/04/2013 - 17:17 | 3409856 Pseudo Anonym
Pseudo Anonym's picture

sheesh, unbelievable.

Why is an owner of gold called a bug?

because: gold bugs is an acronym of a dollar weighted index of companies active in gold mining - The NYSE Arca Gold BUGS (Basket of Unhedged Gold Stocks) Index (HUI)

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 19:10 | 3410248 scrappy
scrappy's picture

The word "gold bug" comes from American history in the 1890's.

Gold bugs wore their gold lapels in support of their monetary cause.

In response William Jennings Bryan gave his "cross of gold" speach.


Thu, 04/04/2013 - 23:44 | 3411036 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Edgar Allen Poe wrote a short story called "The Gold Bug", read it.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:20 | 3409608 jomama
jomama's picture


Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:05 | 3409316 morning
morning's picture

I fail to follow. I hold therefore I am. Notice the ego, which in ceasing, voids all liability.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:09 | 3409328 q99x2
q99x2's picture

"One estimate is that there's $32 trillion stashed offshore"

Yes but that is now getting eaten into because the banksters are actually having to use it instead of value that usually comes from skimming operations from the nations of the world. 

They are using a fork to eat their soup. The end is near. War bitchez.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:09 | 3409339 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

A whole 32 trillion huh?  How does that square with the over 700 trillion in CDS outstanding on the bank's balance sheets?  AAaaannnnnddddd it's gone...

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:20 | 3409388 Super Broccoli
Super Broccoli's picture

underestimated !!!!! 95% of the wealth holded by the top 6% ? who are the most willing to hide their wealth isn't it ? i'm sure they are quadrillions on offshore bank accounts ! it's not just 2 stupid unknown trusts in the bahamas, they are thounsands of them all around the globe !

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:19 | 3409607 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

The banking system in a country is used to "house" a portion of the total money supply in that country.

The money supply (nationally and globally) is a known quantity.

ANYONE who claims there is a some secret pot of sweet stuff which exceeds the known money supply IS FULL OF SHIT.


Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:31 | 3409422 agent default
agent default's picture

$32T at say 1% administration fees is $320B a year.  That's a big income source right there.  BTW where is Delaware, Nevada etc,etc from the list? Macau? Shanghai? They just want to get the small countries out the way so that the US and possibly China can get more of the action.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:47 | 3409499 smacker
smacker's picture



I understand that Uruguay banking regs are quite accomodating too. A favourite with rich Argies.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:02 | 3409548 agent default
agent default's picture

I don't know, there was Cyprus, then there was some bitching from Germany about Malta and Luxemburg and now this just drops on our laps.  Get some gold and some silver and get out of the banking system altogether.  It's going to shit anuway.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:09 | 3409332 Kreditanstalt
Kreditanstalt's picture

You got this from the CBC???

A money-losing media outfit, funded by government and desperate for revenue... and one that has increasingly engaged in sensationalist "reporting".

You expect ANYONE in the CBC to understand why evasion and avoidance are becoming imperatives for those wishing to preserve their assets from taxation?

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:08 | 3409333 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

Hundreds of journalists worked for 15 month on 260 GB of data? And they could keep that secret without any leak? They must be better than MI5, Mossad and CIA combined.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:09 | 3409338 tallen
tallen's picture

Is everyone ready for the ES ramp into the close again? I'm buying 5 ES futures at 15:30. Long live the manipulation.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:13 | 3409352 Kreditanstalt
Kreditanstalt's picture

S&P 1557 now...let's see if the ramp goes further or fails...a breakdown here would be an unusual and hopeful sign.


Thu, 04/04/2013 - 18:04 | 3410046 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

1560 it is....another record on the cards for monday if its up one day and down the next..


Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:14 | 3409354 The Ponz
The Ponz's picture

Alternative one-step process: bitcoin.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:17 | 3409602 jomama
jomama's picture

i lol'd.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:13 | 3409356 Popthestock
Popthestock's picture


Brazilian stocks are doing really well. Denmark is very stable and doing well, their main index have risen 8 % since the new year. I mean you could hold a bit of your money in gold, but i wouldnt do it. Stocks perform better according to inflation aswell. I bet you before this month gold is under 1450.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:59 | 3409749 Day_Of_The_Tentacle
Day_Of_The_Tentacle's picture

You sound genuine, so here you have a couple of points to ponder:

OMX20 has the three biggest banks in it, along with some heavy weight cyclicals like Maersk, which is only held up by the oil business imho. Danske is too big to save, even if they wont admit it. Most important - the index is NOT immune to the HFT shenanigans in the US stock market, and the policies of the Fed and the ECB.

Be careful putting all your eggs in one basket - as in only stocks. I will elaborate, if you are interested.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:26 | 3409407 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture


Sentelli and El Arian on CNBC

Mainstream Style

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:25 | 3409408 Lendo
Lendo's picture

I like the idea of setting up a trust.  

I'm going to look into this further as I got absolutely clobbered on my federal taxes this year.


Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:30 | 3409424 Mototard at Large
Mototard at Large's picture

It looks like we are going to have an all Goldman Sachs MMA cage match between Mark “Brutal Reckoning” Carney and Mairo “Whatever it Takes” Draghi. Learn more about the Bashup in Brussels.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:33 | 3409432 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

More like WWF

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:33 | 3409433 dropdeadfed
dropdeadfed's picture

I'll just do what I can as a middle-class peon to get out of fiat entirely except for monthly requirements.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:36 | 3409449 hannah
hannah's picture

6 steps ...what a waste of time. i have a 2 step process....

step 1....take your money to the overseas bank.

step 2. watch as the bankers steal your money without recourse.


there much quicker.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:40 | 3409465 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Yet one more time.

And WHAT exactly  are most solvent  Soverigns hoarding?, and CB's?.Fiat?,nope,BitCoins?  nope.Oh crap it's that barbaric Yellow crap!.Damn they are SO STOOOPID!!!!!!!.(I know they are dumping it as I type!).

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:46 | 3409483 Arbysauce
Arbysauce's picture

No matter where you stash fiat, Bernanke can steal it with a keystroke. It's like magic. What awesome power that is.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:03 | 3409549 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

Just wondering Arby... do you not have any idea what this article is about?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 01:50 | 3411292 Arbysauce
Arbysauce's picture

Yes. Do you not have any idea how my comment was related?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 03:12 | 3411382 Albertarocks
Albertarocks's picture

I guess I don't understand what your meaning was.  My point was that the author of this article is showing us a way where we "can" stash fiat where Bernanke "can't" steal it.  I was under the impression that you were saying "don't bother even trying".

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:58 | 3409521 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

missing a few biggies, like luxembourg, aruba, monaco, malta, gibraltar, and netherland antilles

and of course delaware and all the other states offering tax breaks for business, so you can launder your money in physcial assets like property, land, plant and machinery might even make a loss you can offset in another state (after paying the kick backs to the local legislators and union reps of course)

then there is the matter of trust..or trusts, where (via a slight convolution) you can be the trustee and beneficiary of your own trust and shelter anything you want

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 15:58 | 3409545 CuriousPasserby
CuriousPasserby's picture

What if you're not a tax dodger, just want to keep something out of the reach of false claims and vexacious litigation? This sounds like everyone's a tax dodger.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:07 | 3409560 Northeaster
Northeaster's picture

You can create bogus business right here in the U.S.! Want to keep "stuff" away from that unsuspecting spouse? No problem!

Just incorporate an entity in Nevada (maybe Wyoming), The SoS office(s) have a no questions asked policy of entity formation, even if it's completely bogus. An upstanding attorney client once formed five (5) different entities with their name spelled backwards followed by Roman Numerals to differentiate. Brilliant. There's no enforcement because no one is looking, or the people looking are years away from finding them and their dissolved by the time they do! 

I didn't deal with the money, but this piece gives great insight as to how easy it is.

In the end though, if you're connected, you just get a Pardon, Deferred Prosecution Agreement, a fine, or nothing at all.

Simply a global Banana Republic.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:08 | 3409568 ZaphodBeeblebrox
ZaphodBeeblebrox's picture

Be careful not to get caught at the border with your gold weighing down the shocks:

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:12 | 3409579 vegas
vegas's picture

Like this is news? Pick from a list of well known and established law firms from my website to assist you - the list has been up there for over a year.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:13 | 3409581 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

What cash? I paid 17 grand in taxes this year.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:20 | 3409611 Apostate2
Apostate2's picture

No, No, snot the secrecy stealers!

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:22 | 3409625 crzyhun
crzyhun's picture

Ahm, neat! Just a question if there is a economic winter, what does all this MEAN?? What do you exchange for what? After the war and even pre WWII paper was worthelss in Europe, by and large...It would seem to me that hard goods are the ticket. Not a yacht either- oh unless you can sail the ocean blue like the Scientologists.

This all goes swirling down the drain when the lot gets flushed.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 21:17 | 3410608 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

the only thing that disappears is a monetary system based on fraud, greed, usury and corruption

there will still be farmers, shops, chemists, wal-marts, mickey d's, opticians and they will all use a medium of exchange that can still be called money as long as it represents value

there is no value in the central banks printing fiat currency in equivalent dollar terms to the value created by billions of people over decades 

gets back to the question

if the fed can print money to monetize annual government deficits and annual deficits rolled up into debt, the government does not need to levy taxes AND in a wlefare (food stamp, unemployment, free health care system) extend this logic into putting everyone on welfare

thats what QE and ZIRP mean, that is the corrollary of socialism, people have no value, they are just numbers in an economic model.


Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:28 | 3409651 Walt D.
Walt D.'s picture

All the talk about tax havens is really a pretext for asset seizure (aka theft) by varoius governments around the world. In the US, there is no tax on wealth, only on capital gains or income derived from wealth. Income tax alone is not enough to fund the bloated and ballooning governement spending. So  governments then resort to a wealth tax. 

However, there is a problem. You can collect income taxes every year. A wealth tax runs out quickly. Once the wealth is gone it is gone. Then there is nothing left to fund the overspending.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 17:51 | 3410007 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

all tax is theft when you have a corrupt or complex or stupid government

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 17:54 | 3410019 akak
akak's picture

Running out of wealth to tax and/or confiscate did not stop them from doing it during the declining days of the Roman Empire, and it certainly won't stop the sociopaths who masquerade as our saviors this time either.

As the ancient Romans themselves pointed out, Nihil novi sub sole.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:36 | 3409681 Shizzmoney
Shizzmoney's picture
A Safe In A Mattress? 'Caja Mi Colchón' Launches Bed Line In Spain, Capitalizes On Bank Fears

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:45 | 3409704 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Step 6, repatriating the money, is actually easy.  There are several ways:

1) Create a dummy corporation in the U.S. move the funds to this company.  You will be taxed on 90% of the value.  Move 90% back.  Step and repeat. 

2) Buy a megayacht in Holland.  Register it in the Bahamas. Park it in Mexico for a year.  Move it to the states. Sell the yacht.


Thu, 04/04/2013 - 16:47 | 3409710 Rustysilver
Rustysilver's picture

I am in CT. We have a long water shore with Long Island Sound. Also many lakes with offshore.

I am saying that many states have offshore. And you don't have to travel far.

Just saying..

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 17:01 | 3409779 Lugnut
Lugnut's picture

I remember bacnk around 1990 or so I was doing side computer consulting work and I hooked up with a guy who was an Ialian General Contractor, and pretty sucessful, but a beer and pretzels blue collar kind of guy. He had purchased a large old 3 story Victorian house 1 block from the beach in one the most expensive zip codes by the jersey shore. It was run down so he bought it for a song and completely renovated it.

By virtue of living in that neighborhood he said all sorts of interesting connections opened up to him (a lot of these houses were summer houses owned by Brooklyn textile company owners), including one very sucessceul real state company owner he met who told him that him and a handfull of his buddies were in the process of chartering their own bank in the Caymans to keep their money in, and for a paltry sum (around $500k at the time I think), he would let him in on their little private bank.

Different world....

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 17:33 | 3409938 Popthestock
Popthestock's picture


I agree its not immune, but its not tied either to ECB, nor the FED. Im not putting all my eggs in one basket. Im just saying gold aint what people here want to make it. Its fine if people own it, and it can be a good choice. But i mean lets say you bought when it was 300, what do you do sell when its 1700, or do you wait. if you hold physical its for life.. right now i just think its much much better selling the gold, and getting into stocks. their is a time for gold, i just doint see it to be right now. ZeroHedgers dream of a big collapse, like its gonna be some mythical event. it wont be.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 17:39 | 3409972 Day_Of_The_Tentacle
Day_Of_The_Tentacle's picture

You can use the little reply button on my post, and the answer will stay up there, instead of at the end of the thread.

What is your rationale behind it not being tied to the FED or the ECB? Just curious.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 17:46 | 3409992 Popthestock
Popthestock's picture

aha okay my bad im new here. :)

Im not saying its not tied at all, beacause allmost all markets are. But Denmark is a bit different due to the size of the country, and due to the fact that we are not linked to the euro. Never the less, its obvious that when the financial crisis started it had an big impact on the stock market in Denmark aswell, like it had everywhere. But Denmark is a very stable, and due to the financial crisis was running a big surplus. Denmark is just a good place to be really. What is your thoughts on gold at the moment?

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 22:33 | 3410812 Day_Of_The_Tentacle
Day_Of_The_Tentacle's picture

Although there are many good things to say, and I can see where you are coming from, I am not sure, I share your optimism. Denmark could do ok according to the old adage that you only have to be faster than the slowest camper, when the bear comes in, but quite frankly I would like the odds to be a wee bit better than that.

First a bit of background to my reasoning: In the old days the Danish mortgage market was rock solid and very prudent, because all deals had at least 20% down payment (usually with 5% in cash and 15% as a collateralized bond directly from the seller). The 80% mortgage from the real estate finance institute was funded with equal maturity underlying fixed interest bonds, which means that once the deal was done, the world could basically go to hell in a handbasket during the next 20-30 years, and it would not matter, because no refinancing operation was needed. Hence the rock solid market. Also, banks were seldom involved. 

Today a big part of the mortgages are financed with refi funding bonds - 1,3,5 years with variable interest. Worse - those bonds are still massively refinanced at the same time of year - in december - even though some leveling out over the year has been done since the CB rescue a few years back. Quite a lot of the mortgage financing is now done through the banks, and not only the seller bond and real estate institute. This means that the market is very vulnerable to a flare-up in the ongoing crisis, because all those bonds must be financed in the wholesale market at roughly the same time. 

Considering that the four biggest banks have balance sheets that are much larger than what the state can possibly handle in case of another wholesale asset deterioration, I think that represents a massive problem. So what could bring about such an asset deterioration? Well, if or more accurately *when* the international bond markets get out of hand from the central handlers, interest rates will rise. When interest rates rise, real estate values fall, and asset values on bank balance sheets deteriorate.

In some countries like the US, the authorities handle that by changing the accounting rules, so assets are not marked to market anymore. Fortunately, Denmark is wiser than that. But this means that when those banks get into trouble, because collateral values will deteriorate and non-performing loans will increase, the state can go under trying to save them, or if they let the banks fall, as it would be correct to do (actually the most prudent thing would be to break them up before it is too late), a lot of people are going to lose money or be pressured by cancelled revolving credit and consumer credit, and spending sentiment will be very subdued due to lost savings in house and/or bank - or inevitable tax hikes, should the state attempt to save the banks.

That is not good for stocks with domestic exposure, and the export stocks will be hit by the international crisis, and the fact that local workers are very unhappy with wagecuts in general, and particularly at a time, when taxes could get another bump upwards. That is a recipe for loss of competitiveness.

In short - (ha ha too late already) - I share your bullishness on stocks, but only after the debt bubble has been deflated/resolved some more - for real. My guess is in two years time. Until then central bank money printing would keep a hand under the stock markets, right up until the moment it does not.

Since I am not an insider, I will not know when the music has stopped in time to get out unharmed - hence I choose to not get in because the rally is based on hot air. You should read Tylers articles on HFT trading and the flash crash of 6 May 2010 to get a handle on just how dangerous the stock markets are right now.

Because the US treasury bubble is becoming ripe for a burst after more than 30 years of build-up, and since we are talking about the world reserve currency, and not just any other less significant country, I am holding out for a serious bang. To survive that bang I am positioned in PMs, with the aim of rotating some after the bang.

So you ask me what I think of gold. Well, right now I am sorta ok with gold, but I really want to kick silver in the groin. You gotta flog the one you love, as they say ;-) It is not for life, but it has been and still is for the long haul until markets can be trusted to function on a modicrum of fundamentals without obscene paper leverage again.

Sadly, right now - we live in a political economy. Final thought - that currency peg between DKK and EUR is likely to import cost-push inflation from the world wide money printing. Not good for business margins or household budgets.

Just my 0.999 cents ;-)

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 00:41 | 3411134 scrappy
scrappy's picture

According to this guy it'so best to own gold till 2019, then get into stocks.


Metaphysical trader, not investment advice. This guy is a trip.


His theory is duelistic. A whale of a tale.


 I say break the cycle and advance to human being 2.0





Fri, 04/05/2013 - 10:28 | 3412604 Day_Of_The_Tentacle
Day_Of_The_Tentacle's picture

Thanks. That looks interesting. I have to read later though - today is shaping up to be hot. After I posted the above I did think that 2016/17 was probably more like it, but we'll see.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 18:14 | 3410073 alfbell
alfbell's picture



Someone with the knowledge, please explain: what is the diff between having your money in a credit union as opposed to a bank?

I've got a big chunk of cash in Everbank.

I've heard the opinion that it is better to have your money in Chase, BofA or Wells Fargo because if anything went wrong they'd be bailed out by the govmt and The Fed would also print whatever the FDIC needed to pay the 250k insurance on all accounts.

Who knows what/who to believe these days.

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 19:01 | 3410235 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Typically a Credit Union is, by Charter, owned by the depositors. Each $1 deposited is called a "share". A bank is owned by other people than you.

A Credit Union, typically, is a small sized entity whose loans from local deposits are loaned to local borrowers. Typically the borrower is a Credit Union member.

CUs do lend into the InterBank lending facility, and so expose their deposits to broader system issues.

CU depositors are entirely exposed to the local economy and the ability of borrowers ability to repay.

CUs have a depositor insurance scheme similar to FDIC.


Thu, 04/04/2013 - 18:14 | 3410077 GregGH
GregGH's picture

Like ot hear  more on the people having o flee BVI ( British Virgin Islands ) drive full of data ... where will the politicians take their money ???

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 18:36 | 3410148 Spigot
Spigot's picture

Buy a friggin literal gold mine and mine/refine gold, silver, platinum, palladium. Keep pumping money into capital equipmet, but also keep the actual production off the books. Problem solved. How hard was that?

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 21:19 | 3410614 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

great idea...and you can borrow yen for nothing and repay the yen after it has collapsed from 95 to the dollar to 150!

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 18:44 | 3410171 nmewn
nmewn's picture
Vanuatu bitchez!
Thu, 04/04/2013 - 21:08 | 3410574 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

must be the old hebrides by now!

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 21:06 | 3410567 schadenfreude
schadenfreude's picture

Where is Delaware?

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 21:08 | 3410584 hooligan2009
hooligan2009's picture

it is in the kitchen appliances section of wal-mart isn't, here it is!

Thu, 04/04/2013 - 22:03 | 3410729 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

"Corporations are people too".

That being the (legal) case, if corps get to have offshore counterparts that lawfully and shamelessly protect themselves against home-country blackmail/seizure, then so can and should private citizens -- "the other people".

Stop falling for false-flag / red-herring arguments, dammit!  Push back and tell TPTB to:  Go to Hell.  Do not pass Go.  Do not collect $200T.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!