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China Begins Mass Slaughter Of Poultry As Bird Flu Kills Six, On Verge Of Becoming Epidemic: Realtime Victim Map

Tyler Durden's picture


While everyone is fascinated by the unraveling slow-motion North Korean theatrical trainwreck, which is nothing but a desperate attempt by a broke "leader" to get paid some "nuisance" cash by the west just so he goes away, the real Asian story has been the latest outbreak of birdflu in China which has not only claimed six lives already (and many more coming), but is starting to have major spillover effects on the broader economy, such as mass slaughter of poultry at local markets - a move which will have certain inflationary effects to an economy already on the cusp of losing the war with the G-7's hot money.

SCMP reports:

A sixth person has died of H7N9 bird flu in China, state media said on Friday, after authorities slaughtered poultry in a mass cull at a Shanghai market where the virus has been detected.


The latest fatality was a 64-year-old farmer who died in Huzhou, in the eastern province of Zhejiang, local officials said according to the state Xinhua news agency.


He is thought to be among 14 previously confirmed human cases of H7N9, and is the second person from Zhejiang to die from the strain, with the other four fatalities in Shanghai, China’s commercial hub.


In Taiwan, health authorities were closely monitoring two people who had experienced fever and had recently arrived in Taiwan from the Chinese mainland, Central News Agency reported on Friday.


The two patients, a mainlander who came from Jiangsu and a Taiwan resident arrived from Shanghai, underwent tests for the H7N9 virus on Thursday, the news agency quoted the disease control centre official as saying.


The official said they would have the test results ready as early as Friday afternoon, the report said.

Never late to the scene, the WHO has arrived, and is doing it best Kevin Bacon-in-Animal House impression:

The World Health Organisation (WHO) has played down fears over the H7N9 strain, saying there was no evidence of human-to-human transmission, but that it was crucial to find out how the virus infects humans.


Like the H5N1 variant which typically spreads from birds to humans through direct contact, experts fear such viruses could mutate into a form easily transmissible between humans, with the potential to trigger a pandemic.


The first two deaths from the virus, which had not been seen before in humans, occurred in February but were not reported by authorities until late March. Officials said the delay in announcing the results was because it took time to determine the cause of the illness.


The state-run China Daily on Friday quoted the ministry of health in Beijing as pledging “open and transparent exchanges with the WHO and other countries and regions”.

Alas this is cold comfort to various chickens that were brutally massacred overnight - the first of many:

In Shanghai, the poultry cull was carried out at the Huhuai market in a western suburb of Shanghai following the discovery of the virus in pigeon samples, Xinhua reported.


Images posted on the Sina Weibo microblog by a local television reporter showed men in protective clothing and facemasks entering the market during the night, and dozens of empty birdcages stacked in the middle of the market.


On Friday morning, the entrance to the poultry section was concealed with wooden boards and sealed off with plastic tape, with a police car parked nearby and white disinfectant powder sprinkled in the street.


Two staff members at the market said the slaughter was completed overnight, but one of them added: “Of course, I’m worried.”

As he should be: the virus is rapidly spreading.

Experts are concerned that the virus appears to have spread across a wide geographical area, with people sickened not only in Shanghai, but also the nearby provinces of Zhejiang, Jiangsu and Anhui.


“I am cautiously worried,” virologist John Oxford of the Queen Mary University of London said.


“If there were four cases in Shanghai, I would be much less concerned, but because it is so geographically widespread I think it is trying to tell us something.” State broadcaster China Central Television (CCTV) reported on Friday that health ministry officials were meeting with agricultural personnel to draw up an action plan aimed at “preventing the spreading of the disease”.

For those concerned, here is what "it may be trying to tell us" - an interactive map of all the most recently reported casualties and victims of the latest outbreak of H7N9.


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Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:01 | 3411658 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

Maybe it's natures way of telling us we have reached our population limit.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:03 | 3411666 new game
new game's picture

beyond the edge; aloft temporarily


long glide wings and chutes...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:06 | 3411673 ZippyBananaPants
ZippyBananaPants's picture

LAST POPE, his time in office may not be long.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:10 | 3411686 Pinto Currency
Pinto Currency's picture


China begins mass slaughter of its chickens just as Japan starts mass slaughter of its bonds.


Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:14 | 3411695 Rubicon
Rubicon's picture

Be a man, fuck a chicken.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:22 | 3411737 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

Don't you mean choke a chicken?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:25 | 3411753 Stackers
Stackers's picture

6 people is now a borderline epidemic ?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:54 | 3411922 i-dog
i-dog's picture

It's serious ... really, really serious! In the last epidemic, nearly 80 people died. Tyler wants you to worry yourself sick over this ... though he did forget to mention the context that the "normal" flu causes "about three to five million yearly cases of severe illness and about 250,000 to 500,000 yearly deaths". (

So, be a good citizen and ... worry!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:02 | 3411984 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

It's not how many people die, it's the mortality rate of the people who have been infected.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 10:43 | 3412669 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

And you got your science degree, where?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 17:11 | 3414298 Hi Ho Silver
Hi Ho Silver's picture

ACME I'm sure.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:12 | 3412089 Rusty Trombone
Rusty Trombone's picture

6 people dead out of 14 *known* infected equals a mortality rate of >40% you fucking retard.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 10:47 | 3412362 hannah
hannah's picture

....and these are the 'reported' numbers. do you think that in a country with billions of people that maybe a few die in a grungie backroom sweatshop and are just dumped in the trash heap....



*and by 'few' i mean thousands.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 13:18 | 3413396 Socratic Dog
Socratic Dog's picture

Yeah, well it's also the "reported" cases.  14 reported cases means, what, 14,000 unreported cases?  If they're reported, they're serious illness, so that leaves out all the non-serious illness, or asymptomatic exposures.

He's right, Tyler is reporting every little storm in a teacup like it's the end of the bloody world.  Just like the MSM.  Shame on you Tyler.  And shame on you for not seeing this for what it is, just another vaccine-company pump.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 13:34 | 3413457 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

Yes that was the point I was making. Spanish Flu (1918-20) had a mortality rate of 2%. That outbreak killed an estimated 20-100 million people.

You are right there are some fucking retards on here, namely SAT 800.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:29 | 3412211 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Can any one of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  (Matt 6:27)

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 11:45 | 3412992 Matt
Matt's picture

Only if the worrying causes you to take action to protect yourself from whatever is causing the worry.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 17:44 | 3414419 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

 - And only if that action is "effective". Running around the Interwebs like a headless chicken (bad pun intended!) probably doesn't count towards "effective action".

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:01 | 3411975 knukles
knukles's picture


Yeah, like WTF?
6 people is an epidemic?

This all part of the Hegelian Dialectic, to divert the peasantry's attention to the otherwise insignificant in order that the Grand Plans continue with the full support of a frightened, ever compliant populace placing trust, greater power and control into the hands of an "apparently" benevolent, all powerful, knowing State.


Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:02 | 3411998 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

Ah remember this is China we are talking about, if they report 6 people infected it is more like 600 in reality.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:23 | 3411739 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Not a problem.  River pork supplies are up I hear......

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:21 | 3411730 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

Fortune cookie:  You will see your sweet and sour chicken again.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 12:04 | 3413111 11b40
11b40's picture

New Fortune Cookie: That wasn't chicken!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:22 | 3411738 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Why so fast?, it takes 6 months to slaughter a bondy.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:22 | 3411732 monkeyboy
monkeyboy's picture

So 6 deaths amounts to an epidemic?

So what then constitutes the death count of a pandemic?

Or are we talking about the chickens and their feathered brethren? 

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:25 | 3411751 negative rates
negative rates's picture

It was the death of all those treasuries -vs- the hot money issue that started the 6 snowballs a rollin downhill.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:26 | 3411755 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

14 people now qualifies as a pandemic. 24 people now qualifies as pandemonium. They have strict standards over there in China.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:30 | 3411784 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

PANDEMONIUM? Oh my God. Now the pandas are getting sick too.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:09 | 3412059 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

A dash of V for Vendetta with a sprinkle of 12 monkeys. Extra bullish for garlic.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:06 | 3412040 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Is "6" a seasonally adjusted number with the 'Deflator' applied?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:29 | 3412218 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



...and if the real number is a negative print, what would that mean?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 11:51 | 3413044 Panafrican Funk...
Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

That bird flu actually raises humans from the dead.

Yay zombie supervirus!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:34 | 3411804 SeverinSlade
SeverinSlade's picture

Hold on, my tin foil hat got stuck on my head: they have been studying how bird flu could be weaponized...and now this is happening?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:17 | 3412128 JOYFUL
JOYFUL's picture

from your link...Fauci says most countries conducting H5N1 funding get the lion’s share of their funding from the U.S. government, and grants are made based on the National Institutes of Health's determination that the scientific investigation is necessary...

all reading of the media nowadays requires a kind of retooling of the brain to recognize, reflect upon, and then counter doublespeak of all descriptions:

NIH=Ft Detrick=taxpayer funded bioweaponry laboratories(originally a dynamic 'private\public partnership' between .gov&Litton) that turn out consecutive designer diseases which the MIC then disperses over unsuspecting civilian populations to guage the efficacy -Punta Gorda Fla, Brockville On...etc.,also see Plum Is re Lyme disease\ticks.

In keeping with the takeover of all aspects of the Merikan power structure by the tiny terrorist statelet in the ME, R&D(and accompanying MERIKAN! taxpayer funding)gradually moves east to Nes Tsiona(the Dimona of sionist biological warfare research)where the application of 'race specific' dna targeting bioweapons is pursued(see and the "ethnic bomb" developed...

first application of which was the 2003 "SARS" epidemic which targets certain far eastern groups but has the weird unintended consequence of laying low certain elements of the askenazi populace!...and is 'pulled' after failing to achieve the projected 80% kill ratio.

All phony flu propaganda subsequent is a result of the conspiracy to condemn populations to debilitating side effects from toxic vaccine campaigns in keeping with the mandate of the international cabbalist criminal conspiracy to reduce populations and destroy western civilization...

It was Uri who enlightened me regarding the Nes Zionna [Tsiona] facility. It was, he said, an ABC warfare laboratory -- ABC standing for atomic, biological and chemical. It was where our top epidemiological scientists were developing various doomsday machines. Because we were so vulnerable and would not have a second chance should there be an all-out war in which this type of weapon would be needed, there was no room for error. The [captured] Palestinian infiltrators came in handy in this regard. As human guinea pigs, they could make sure the weapons the scientists were developing worked properly and could verify how fast they worked and make them even more efficient\from Victor Ostrovsky, a former case officer of Israel's Mossad intelligence agency -The Other Side of Deception

Of course, this is all tin foil hat stuff: nothin to see here...move along now!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:31 | 3412222 knukles
knukles's picture

How many fail to see the light....

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 12:23 | 3413183 prains
prains's picture


how many can't see the SAME FUCKING TIMING as the LAST "outbreak", IT'S ALL BEEN PLANTED just like the last time.


this is your chemical version of building 7, but hey the tin's making me sweat

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 12:37 | 3413263 Jack Napier
Jack Napier's picture

They've had all these flu strains in labs for who knows how many years. Just a matter of setting them free. Ask Boyd Graves about HIV/AIDS.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:17 | 3412134 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

Got a notice from Paul Krugman....Bird flu will be positive for GDP as BIG Pharma will stick it to STFU and BTFD

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 10:47 | 3412705 SAT 800
SAT 800's picture

Oh well, that's alright then, if Paul says so; but I guess I won't pet my chicken today; just in case.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:01 | 3411659 razorthin
razorthin's picture

Yummmm.  All-you-can-eat General Tsao's.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:12 | 3411683 Croesus
Croesus's picture





First they came for the pigs , and I did not speak out--
    because I was not a pig;

Then they came for the chickens, and I did not speak out--
    because I was not a chicken;

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:27 | 3411767 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

Funny... on one level... not so funny on another.  When the liquidation of unfunded liabilities begins in earnest, these events won't seem connected.  May be, may not be.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:01 | 3411661 falak pema
falak pema's picture

pigs and swans, now fowl birds gone foul : the flu is running in the rivers and poultry pens of Fu Man Chu! 

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:05 | 3411671 RideTheWalrus
RideTheWalrus's picture

Its the fish flu you have to worry about

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:15 | 3411692 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

While the black swan imagery captures the imagination, I'm beginning to think that another manifestation of it may be a very unhappy, frustrated, ugly and angry Michelle. 

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:01 | 3411662 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Is that what they meant by bacon shortage?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:04 | 3411669 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

If this mutates to a form of airborne infection, it's on like Donkey Kong ...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:10 | 3411687 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Looks like yer avatar is infected...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:19 | 3411709 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Right! Question is: With what?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:26 | 3411748 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

It surely isn't hopium

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:29 | 3411771 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

And I am proud of that!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:04 | 3411670 pods
pods's picture

The flu kills thousands every year.  I am supposed to be worried about 6 people in China who died?

Just another yearly installment of live in fear and increase the budget of the WHO, CDC, etc.

Oh, and make sure you get your shots.

Take some Vitamin D, green tea, and live life.


Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:06 | 3411674 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Or, better yet, set sail for open sea. That would decrease your chances of getting any flu substantially, plus it would open up an opportunity for correct handling of precious metals ...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:19 | 3411710 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Set sail for the irradiated Pacific... Head straight for the garbage swirl, you'll be safe there...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:30 | 3411785 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Where is there any place on shore that's not irradiated? Not to disagree with you on this, but if you know a place, where that's not a problem, please let me know.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:51 | 3411916 Prisoners_dilemna
Prisoners_dilemna's picture

Howe Caverns? Dibbs!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:12 | 3411685 malikai
malikai's picture

How dare you interrupt this installment of Apocalypse Fever!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:11 | 3411688 IamtheREALmario
IamtheREALmario's picture

Yes, the flu kills 30,000 and the vaccine kills the same amount. Choose your poison.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:16 | 3411700 Croesus
Croesus's picture



Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:17 | 3411703 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture




Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:28 | 3412207 Hulk
Hulk's picture

He was cited for doing 69 in a Ferraro back in the 80's...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 11:31 | 3412934 recidivist
recidivist's picture


Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:35 | 3412257 Leraconteur
Leraconteur's picture

Like most anti-vaccine fanatics you are young and cannot comprehend that now that a disease has been reduced, the side effects will be the only 'illness' that you see.

What you do not see, what you did not see, because you are young and the disease was limited or eliminated, is that children died of the measles in the 50's and 60's, and ended up on on crutches if they were lucky during a polio epidemic, and many more died of the flu before vaccinations. Remove all vaccines to get your double blind study wish and you will see many more die, but you likely lack the cognition to recognise that when it happens.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 10:08 | 3412456 Croesus
Croesus's picture

It occurs to me, that mankind existed for thousands of years prior to the advent of allopathic medicine, and vaccines of any kind. 

Dotgov keeps grumbling about gun control......why don't you look at the figures for how many people are killed each year by the medical establishment. 

I have yet to get a "flu shot", and somehow, by some impossible miracle...........I haven't gotten the flu. Hell, I haven't even had a cold in 10 years.

The medical establishment, the Bernank (and others like him), and biotech all have one thing in common:

They fuck with the natural order of the world, because in their academic arrogance, they are convinced that there will be no consequences.

And yet, while they were in school, they probably did learn that "for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction".

Guess they were asleep in class that day.


PS> I'm not that young.



Fri, 04/05/2013 - 18:14 | 3414482 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Well, by "some impossible miracle" I have not had Influenza since 1968. Sometimes I've had the vaccine, often not.

It is just a case of successfully avoiding contact with those who are infected (and infectious) but still asymptomatic.

Which boils down to a) luck, and b) absence of a significant disease reservoir.

I note that reputable information souces (e.g. the WHO) state clearly that there is not an effective vaccine available at present, and the likelihood of such a vaccine being available in bulk, in a timely fashion, is low. So there is no benefit in vaccination (yet).

However, if this particular recombination does turn out to have potential for significant interperson spread, I will have no hesitation in being towards the front of the queue for vaccination. I would stongly suggest you should think this way too. I have seen patients die fron H5N1 in the last "mini-Pandemic". It's not a nice way to go.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 11:48 | 3413023 pods
pods's picture

I am not an anti-vaccine fanatic, but have serious questions about efficacy.

First.  The actual theory of how a vaccine works.

An attenuated virus or virus fragments are introduced into a body, usually along with an adjuvant.  This creates an immune response which will protect those inoculated from actual illness from a viral exposure.

The vaccine works best in those who have well functioning and highly developed immune systems, and is least effective in those who would benefit it the most (compromised immune systems).

That right there is a big warning that vaccines might not be what they are portrayed as.

The shittiest thing about vaccines is that they were developed around the time we learned of disease transmission.  So vaccines were credited when it may not have been vaccines at all.

Now it is gospel that vaccines are the answer.  And belief has no business being involved in science.

I will not go so far as to say they are ineffective, but that is only because there are no efficacy studies, which every other drug on the market must go through. Granted those drugs are compared to placebo and not compared to both placebo and other drugs in the same family/class, but it is a start.  Vaccines must rely on broad statistical studies and other easily manipulated data.


Fri, 04/05/2013 - 18:36 | 3414555 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Well, the vaccination - led Global eradication of Smallpox is a start. Add in significant (i.e. VERY significant) reduction in morbidity from Measles, Polio (well on the way for Global eradication, certainly now "effective Global control"), Tetanus, Typhoid, Yellow Fever, Diphtheria . . . . . . .

There are decades of very reputable, widely published evidence that vaccination is effective and has a good safety margin. ALL drugs - including ALL "Natural Products", can kill, so just because the Pharmaceutical Industry is involved, does not by default mean "it's bad for you".

As to the "immunosuppressed" argument - easy. We use the proven technique of repeated challenge ("booster" vaccination). In the REALLY immunocompromised (extensive chemotherapy / transplant (with rejection history) / immunosuppressive disease patient, OK we won't reach the "gold standard" of antibody titres, but we can at least provide partial protection - and some is always better than none.

It all boils down to the personal "Risk vs. Benefit" analysis. Whilst vaccination is voluntary, you may choose. In my case, I have seen patients die from Influenza. It is not a nice way to go, and if the WHO considers there to be a genuine risk, I'll be getting the vaccine.

You would be well advised to do the same too . . . . . . .

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:13 | 3411691 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



+1 pods

Doesn't quite meet the standard of the pale horse of Rev 6...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:30 | 3411781 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

That 6 people died... not significant.  Culling of herds and flocks... more interesting.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:16 | 3412114 pods
pods's picture

Yeah, definitely something to keep a watch on.  If "farms" in China are anything like some big ones here, that could light up the place in no time.

Top down places tend to be pretty heavy handed, so who knows at this point?


Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:25 | 3412200 Toolshed
Toolshed's picture

If all those recent swine deaths are a result of this flu strain it will be very bad news. If pigs are vulnerable to a flu strain it will usually spread easily to huimans as well.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:53 | 3411935 resurger
resurger's picture

Am going to Guangzhou on the 22nd  for the fair ...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:22 | 3412175 Toolshed
Toolshed's picture

Yep, the flu kills thousands every year, but is contracted by many millions. This nasty strain has a kill rate of over 50% it appears. So if many millions contract the math. Don't worry, be happy and BTFD by all means, since there is nothing to worry about. I thought ZH readers had more sense than the average fool, but I guess not.

Off topic:

I picked up an order at Gainesville Coins last night and it looked like the lay-away line at Wal Mart. Took me 45 min. just to pick the order up. I appeared to be the only one who was picking up. Everyone else was buying on site with big wads of cash. Some of the sheeple may be getting a clue.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:08 | 3411675 eigenvalue
eigenvalue's picture

Why not nuke the affected regions? If there all the critters there are wiped out, the rest of the Chinese won't worry about bird flu any more.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:13 | 3411693 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

I'll tell you why not: Because that would not harm the virus effectively. It is barely alive, and much more complex forms of life can endure the radiation.

To really kill off the virus you would need a surface blast in the megaton range, and even that would only effect a few squaremiles ....

By the way one could greatly increase the mutation rate of the virus, leading with bad luck to the aforementioned form of airborne disease, so no, nuking won't help

But since it is always very spectacular, why not do it just for the fun of it, right?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 12:01 | 3413097 Matt
Matt's picture

Also, it is a BIRD FLU. meaning it is in migratory birds. If you had found patient zero and did it fast enough, you might be able to sterilize an area. Once you have migratory birds spreading it thousands of miles, it gets a lot more complicated.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 18:41 | 3414576 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Thermal inactivation is far more effective. So you'd be better off using a thermobaric weapon.

(After the Japanese incident we really don't want even more radiation problems in that area, thanks!)

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:28 | 3411768 negative rates
negative rates's picture

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, what comes around goes around, YOU DON'T LIVE IN LA DO YA?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:08 | 3412050 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

Redirect those two subs to Shanghai, and make sure they are seen flying the stars and stripes before detonation. Kim thinks of everything!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:09 | 3411681 IamtheREALmario
IamtheREALmario's picture

It makes one wonder how these new strains get started. We know based on some recent reports that they can be bio-engineered.

Back in the middle ages there were reports of people in some kind of protective suit spraying something and then the plague would appear in the same location. These reports have been scrubbed from all history books ... but not all written records.


Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:16 | 3411701 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

So, are you suggesting that some foul, or is it fowl play, is afoot, possibly china's currency/proxy wars were bumped up 3 levels?

Everythings a business model, especially, war

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:10 | 3411682 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

China needs to use linked inflation like the Fed. If pork prices are up and chicken prices head higher, just substitute Kobe Beef prices into the inflation index. With the yen falling like a rock Kobe Beef is getting cheaper!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:12 | 3411684 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

"I am cautiously worried."

What a load of unspeak. How does that relate to: I am optimistically concerned?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:17 | 3411706 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Include me out!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:19 | 3411707 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



You are an artist of many mediums, WB7

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:19 | 3411720 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

He's simply the best. Period.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:29 | 3411773 negative rates
negative rates's picture

I would go that far, he can't even put out a fire to save his oWn life.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:16 | 3412116 OldE_Ant
OldE_Ant's picture

I recently used 'cautious optimism' in a sentence to my wife.  As a joke she said ' so your optimistically cautious?'

I laughed.   Worst thing was my ever economically optimistic uncle told me that we had hit the good times peak and were rolling over.   I was like 'reaaaalllllyyyy?'.

<sarc>FED will print 'salvation' for all.  The gates of 'heaven' will open and the singing angels (aka the roar of the alien engines as they land) will come.</sarc>

Looking like the momentum trade on earth is 'tomorrow will suck worse than today'.  <sarc>But hey we have new i-People so no-one will notice the stink from all the dead bodies.</sarc>

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 22:44 | 3415308 TheProphet
TheProphet's picture

Yes. A statement of confounding clarity, if I've ever read one.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:17 | 3411704 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

the bernank should go french kiss a sick chinken

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:20 | 3411727 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



"chinken"; well done

Not sure which party would fare worse from that exchange.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:20 | 3412157 Croesus
Croesus's picture

Probably the Chicken....

Try to see it from the chicken's point of view:

You're already sick, and probably going to be killed soon. If that's not enough, all of a sudden, some sleazy-looking American shows up in a helicopter, throwing money around, and trying to sexually assault you?

Save the Chickens! (and Chinkens, too)

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:21 | 3411733 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

since the C-key is not next to the N-key, I infer that was intentional.

I believe you have coined a new word, my friend.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:21 | 3411734 HD
HD's picture

What did that chicken ever do to anybody?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:59 | 3412422 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

One day we may all be "chickens".  Most of us anyway. 

Value life.  If not, offer yourself first, as humanity does not your kind in the gene pool any more.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:16 | 3411705 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

Why not a drop a basket of these chickens in North Korea.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:21 | 3411736 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



+1  I think you have the highest LOL-to-post ratio on the roster, SH

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:25 | 3411749 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

They should have given N. Korea the pigs too.

What's worse, sickness or starvation?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:19 | 3411708 Ban KKiller
Ban KKiller's picture

No more traveling for my chickens. 

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:26 | 3411758 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

You better take their passports away.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:19 | 3411713 Cow
Cow's picture

If China says only six died, well than only six died.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:23 | 3411722 Zer0head
Zer0head's picture


H7N9 Avian Swine Human Adaptation
Recombinomics Commentary 20:30
April 4, 2013

Chinese chicken excrement to sell feed the pigs


Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:24 | 3411750 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

About time someone triggered the nuclear option.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:25 | 3411762 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Gotta believe the Tylers are enjoying some of the high-quality deadpan posts on this one.  Seems everyone is coffeed-up and on their game.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:28 | 3411770 I Am Not a Copp...
I Am Not a Copper Top's picture

This is obviously bullish, so why are futures tanking?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:30 | 3411779 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



Goldman's HFT algos are down for maintenance.  Should be up again mid-afternoon for the ramp.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:37 | 3411817 Youri Carma
Youri Carma's picture

Feeding chicken excrement to pigs probable cause of the many dead pigs and now humans

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:42 | 3411857 tarsubil
tarsubil's picture

But they told me it was chocolate pudding! They lied to me!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 11:37 | 3412964 recidivist
recidivist's picture

They told me it was soylent brown...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:41 | 3411846 Fix It Again Timmy
Fix It Again Timmy's picture

Can't we just "print" a vaccine?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:44 | 3411871 SpiceMustFlow
SpiceMustFlow's picture

Somehow this is Obama's fault

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:45 | 3411886 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Sale today on Kung Pao Chicken.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:54 | 3411933 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

This is very good for U.S. poultry producers.  Bring it!!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:58 | 3411949 Prisoners_dilemna
Prisoners_dilemna's picture

This is really an unfortunate turn of events... I was finally ready to click and "meet my asian lady"...
Even ZH is advertising shit that will kill me...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:08 | 3412052 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

Click on the Russian girls instead.  They're hotter, anyway. 

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:12 | 3412087 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Concentrate on your breathing, and you'll be able to resist.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 18:52 | 3414624 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Better make sure she's not the one wearing the feather boa! (just in case the feathers are a temporary home to "something extra"!)

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:58 | 3411952 Fezter
Fezter's picture

Swine Flu, Chicken Virus.....I like pork and chicken.....why can we have a smug, self-congratulatory, gun-grabbing, tree hugging, nanny, lefty virus....

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 08:59 | 3411959 irie1029
irie1029's picture

Coming to a river near you!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:00 | 3411976 Sandmann
Sandmann's picture

Year of the Snake....enough said

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:00 | 3411980 Smuckers
Smuckers's picture

Pigs no good, chicken no good, beef is horsemeat....
I guess as long as they don't fuck up lettuce, I'll be fine.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:12 | 3412081 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Didn't the commie chinese motivate the people by killing flies in the 1950s?  Last month it was pigs, and now it's chickens.  What's next, cats?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:16 | 3412120 Rusty Trombone
Rusty Trombone's picture

Me Chinese
Me Play Joke

Me Put H7N9 in You Chicken Shit Pork Coke.

So Solly  Missa MahGloo !!

Roundeye Bitchez!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:25 | 3412188 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Walmart's CEO "Sweet! Firesale on poultry in China!"

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 10:01 | 3412421 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

I wonder if there's any correlation with the empty shelves in the Wal-Marts and the bird flu in Wal-Mart supplier land(slave labor China)??

You know this has been going on in China longer than we think...we're just now getting knowledge of the situation.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:36 | 3412252 Smuckers
Smuckers's picture

We need an inverse ETF for old men sitting on park benches.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 09:54 | 3412392 Apostate2
Apostate2's picture

It will show up in Indonesia next. 

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 10:06 | 3412463 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

And in Malaysia.  That would also be one serious way of messing with Singapore, the offshore tax shelter par excellence.

For all its talk about "sovereignty", the island-state of Singapore get its water and electricity from Malaysia.  You interrupt or stop one or both, you interrupt or stop "business-as-usual" in Singapore.

Better store your 'precious' in Tuktuyuktuk or Patagonia.  ;-)

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 10:13 | 3412512 ToNYC
ToNYC's picture

Eat less toxic vectors like Genesis 1:29 gifts.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 10:16 | 3412533 jms2112
jms2112's picture

I wonder if they will throw the chickens in a river?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 10:46 | 3412700 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

I think we are all missing the main point which is the possibility of one of these bird flu variants actually mutating into something that can be passed between humans.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 19:09 | 3414683 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

Seeing as we've got effective human infection, it's really just a matter of time and "infection count".

Maybe we'll be lucky (again) and the adaptation is slow / doesn't occur.

Maybe this time our luck will have run out. Only time will tell.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 10:57 | 3412762 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

It is soooo crowded thee if one person coughs in Beijing people down in Kunming get the flu. I wonder if this will spread faster...wider?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 11:22 | 3412894 wiebern
wiebern's picture


Fri, 04/05/2013 - 11:37 | 3412965 dogbreath
dogbreath's picture

Just the latest hysteria from WHO.  

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 12:20 | 3413163 davepowers
davepowers's picture

I've always been suspicious what the crows are up to when they get together by the hundreds and start squawking.

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