Jon Corzine: Daytrader

Tyler Durden's picture


Yesterday we reported that the conclusion of the MF Global Trustee's 124 page report is that the collapse of MF Global, and the illegal commingling of billions in customer funds which may or may not have been recovered yet from JPMorgan and others, was all Jon Corzine's fault. Of course, courtesy of his special rank in the Obama administration, Corzine will never go to jail: after all justice in the crony states of America is only for the little people - those who don't bundle millions for the president, and those who don't run Too Big To Prosecute banks, or both at the same time, get a get out of jail card (literally). So if he isn't in minimum security prison, where on earth is Mr. Corzine to be found these days? The WSJ answers.

Mr. Corzine, who left the company days after its bankruptcy, has spent recent months trading for his own account, traveling and spending time with his family. His supporters point out that his doomed trade actually turned out to be a moneymaker. None of the European bonds he bet on defaulted through 2012.

Kudos to Mr. Corzine, who as reported previously, is also planning to start his own hedge fund. We wish him all the best: after all, if he succeeds, he will be merely be proving Darwin right and anyone who invests in his venture will promptly be, what else, Corzined and eradicated from the gene pool for terminal idiocy. In this way, he would simply be doing mankind a favor. The only thing we ask Jon is that he disclose his twitter handle so that people can watch his #timestamped never fail positions in real-time (remember - Italy didn't default; only MF Global did). And after all, it is not as if anyone has ever had a losing trade on twitter...

Your rating: None

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:03 | 3413752 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

corzined bitchez

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:03 | 3413755 GolfHatesMe
GolfHatesMe's picture

Shouldn't have an account to trade

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:09 | 3413779 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

all of his funds should be in a trading account, but one controlled by all of his former clients.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:36 | 3413898 BoNeSxxx
BoNeSxxx's picture

No, just one.

Gerald Celente

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 16:41 | 3414177 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture


"lessee JC....uh, one million shares of JCP" (click)

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:06 | 3413758 KnightTakesKing
KnightTakesKing's picture

Too Big To Jail: All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:08 | 3413765 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

He may be too big to jail, but he's not too big to be shot in the head by a pissed off farmer.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:09 | 3413771 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

And that's exactly why he's so very seldom to be seen near any farms ...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:26 | 3413850 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

which works out well for the sheep, too

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:43 | 3413914 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

And the rams. He will fuck over anybody or anything.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:06 | 3413761 malikai
malikai's picture


Does this mean Slain Capital is in business?

Where do I sign up??

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:08 | 3413762 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

The only form of account this person should be allowed to have, is one to have his monthly wage from the uranium-mine somewhere in the nowhere transferred to.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:09 | 3413764 Atlantis Consigliore
Atlantis Consigliore's picture   Is It Safe?  (Your bank, commodity, currency or gold account)  Is it?  Russian Cypress Bank account has quite a cavity here....Is it Safe?  

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:08 | 3413766 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Fuck Goldman Sachs !!!!!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:10 | 3413774 world_debt_slave
world_debt_slave's picture

Good night Mary Ellen.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:09 | 3413775 fuu
fuu's picture

We should make him puke blood.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 20:27 | 3414923 holdbuysell
holdbuysell's picture

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo knew exactly what to do with this kind of filth. No mercy did she ever give to the sociopaths.

One wonders why the author of those books so suddenly died.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:11 | 3413777 venturen
venturen's picture

His family hates him!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:11 | 3413785 Cursive
Cursive's picture



His supporters point out that his doomed trade actually turned out to be a moneymaker. None of the European bonds he bet on defaulted through 2012.


"Moneymaker?"  What a fucking whale of a tale.  Uh, yeah, I'll wait to see the P&L on that book before I believe.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:15 | 3413797 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Even if he ever get's to jail, which I doubt very strongly, wasn' there something about this asshole from ... what was it ... FREDRON ?... FANRON ?... uhm ... ENRON ? I don't remember anymore ...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:22 | 3413838 earnyermoney
earnyermoney's picture

Gets' to jail? He'll never get to court.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:30 | 3413864 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

You are probably right. I just thought of that Skilling guy, and his ten years early release. Apparently good times, even if you got jailtime ...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:15 | 3413804 bullet
bullet's picture

Corzine should be treated the same as MFG customer funds... vaporized

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:17 | 3413806 WTF_247
WTF_247's picture

Ha ha - he was actualy right they say.  The only thing he did not have was enough money right?  If only he could have averaged down more, bought more he would have proved them wrong.

The martingale theory of investing works 99 out of 100 times.  Its the 1 time where the loss blows up the gains from the other 99 and you are left pennyless.

They are neglecting to mention that he turned a broker dealer into a hedge fund and lost everyones money - all on his own.  I doubt investors in MF Global knew or approved that they were investing in a global macro fund.  I doubt clients knew that their accounts were being used as margin requirements for global macro bets.  

Heads Corzine wins, tails clients lose all their money.  Its a great fucking racket if you can get it.


Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:16 | 3413807 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Bit of a stretch to call it "his own account", don't you think?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:20 | 3413820 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

If you can't hold it, you don't own it?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:23 | 3413833 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Maybe his broker will Corzine him one day. I live in hope. I was thinking more like: his account built from money looted from dying widows and starving orphans.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:33 | 3413877 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

That would indeed be great!

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:22 | 3413821 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

"His supporters point out that his doomed trade actually turned out to be a moneymaker."

And I suppose the farmers and little old ladies he ripped off don't count?

That man deserves nothing but the best that HELL has to offer.

(and his supporters too)

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:25 | 3413840 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

I can't see how any trade, that is basically composed of a rip off of farmers and little old ladies, can not turn out to be a moneymaker, anyways ...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:49 | 3413944 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

I wonder if those same supporters would be willing to invest in his hedge fund. Put your money where your mouth is.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:20 | 3413825 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

Musta been the right play
But it musta been the wrong time
Mighta been the right groove
But it musta been a wild ride

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:43 | 3413916 Kaiser Sousa
Kaiser Sousa's picture

Hey Cavi;

now thats just straight up wrong...

tarnishing the great Dr. John with a reference to that peice of shit Corzine...


disclaimer: that song is fuckier than James Brown's drawers....

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:23 | 3413831 villainvomit
villainvomit's picture

So Skilling is going to work for Corzine's new wedgy fund ?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:26 | 3413847 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

As soon as Department of Justus head Eric Holder gets him out ten years early, "Priority" stamped on the release papers.

"Ignore" stamped on the MF Global and Corzine file, along with Mozillo's, Dimon's, Paulson's, and LIBOR rigging MERS banks.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:22 | 3413834 centerline
centerline's picture

So the trade made money and they are going to make whole the accounts that were raided?

(holding breath....  turning purple)...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:24 | 3413839 One of We
One of We's picture

I trained my dog how to buy inverse ETF's in the morning and 3x leverd after noon now if I can only Corzine about $2 billion in seed money we can both sit on the couch all summer licking our balls....

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:26 | 3413845 CunnyFunt
CunnyFunt's picture

It's OK. JC is protected at the highest levels. Move along, bitchez.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:26 | 3413851 jjsilver
jjsilver's picture

Crime is contagious. If the government becomes a lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for the law; it invites every man to become a law unto himself; it invites anarchy. To declare that in the administration of the criminal law the end justifies the means...would bring terrible retribution. Against that pernicious doctrine this Court should resolutely set its face.” [Justice Brandeis, Olmstead v. United States, 277 U.S. 438, 485. (1928)]"

U S v. LEE, 106 U.S. 196 (1882)
No man in this country is so high that he is above the law. No officer of the law may set that law at defiance with impunity. All the officers of the government, from the highest to the lowest, are creatures of the law and are bound to obey it.

When a Citizen challenges the acts of a federal or state official as being illegal, that official cannot just simply avoid liability based upon the fact that he is a public official. In United States v. Lee, 106 U.S. 196, 220, 221, 1 S.Ct. 240, 261

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:35 | 3413893 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

In the courtroom of honor, the judge pounded his gavel
To show that all's equal and that the courts are on the level
And that the strings in the books ain't pulled and persuaded
And that even the nobles get properly handled
Once that the cops have chased after and caught 'em
And that ladder of law has no top and no bottom
Stared at the person who killed for no reason
Who just happened to be feelin' that way without warnin'
And he spoke through his cloak, most deep and distinguished
And handed out strongly, for penalty and repentance
William Zanzinger with a six-month sentence
Ah, but you who philosophize disgrace and criticize all fears
Bury the rag deep in your face
For now's the time for your tears.

- Bob Dylan, The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 16:32 | 3414155 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

"If the government becomes a lawbreaker,"


It already is. The acquisition of military equipment by the DHS is unconstitutional...


Army Officer: DHS Must Surrender Their War Weapons to Dept. of Defense
March 25, 2013 Jim Hoft, Gateway Pundit

Captain Terry M. Hestilow, United States Army, Retired (Examiner)
On Saturday March 23, Terry M. Hestilow, a retired Army officer with nearly 30 years of service under his belt, posted this letter he sent to Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX) this week. Hestilow wants DHS to hand over their war weapons to the Department of Defense.
The Honorable Senator John Cornyn, State of Texas
United States Senate
517 Hart Senate Office Building
Washington, D.C. 20510

Re: Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and that agencies preparation for war against citizens of the United States of America
Dear Senator Cornyn,
It is with gravest concern that I write to you today concerning the recent appropriation of weapons by the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) that can only be understood as a bold threat of war by that agency, and the Obama administration, against the citizens of the United States of America. To date, DHS has been unwilling to provide to you, the elected representatives of the People, justification for recent purchases of almost 3,000 mine-resistant ambush-protected (MRAP) armored personnel carriers, 1.6 billion rounds of ammunition (with associated weapons), and other weapons systems, when, in fact, the DHS has no war mission or war making authority within the limits of the United States of America.
Significant is the fact that at the same time the Obama administration is arming his DHS for war within the limits of the United States against the People of the United States in accordance with his 2008 campaign speech claiming,
“We cannot continue to rely only on our military in order to achieve the national security objectives that we’ve set. We’ve gotta (sic) have a civilian national security force that’s just as powerful, just as strong, just as well funded [as the United States military]”–Candidate Barack Obama, 2008.
The Obama administration is deliberately defunding, overextending, and hollowing the Department of Defense; the only legitimate agency of the U.S. government with a war mission.
This act of the Obama administration stands as a glaring threat of war against our nation’s citizens! This act of the Obama administration can only be understood as a tyrannical threat against the Constitution of the United States of America! If left unresolved, the peace loving citizens who have sworn to defend the United States Constitution “against all enemies, both foreign and domestic” are left no option except to prepare to defend themselves, and the U.S. Constitution, against this Administration’s “coup” against the People and the foundations of liberty fought for and defended for the past 238 years. We have no choice if we honor our oaths.
The only proper response to this threat against the American people is for the representatives of the People, the members of the U.S. House and Senate, to demand in clear terms that the Administration cannot ignore, that the Department of Homeland Security immediately surrender their newly appropriated weapons of war to the Department of Defense (DoD). Further, since the DHS has assumed a position in the Administration to enforce the tyrannical acts of this president against the People of the United States against the limits of the United States Constitution, it remains for the United States Congress to exercise its limiting power in the balancing of powers established by our founding fathers, to disestablish and dissolve the DHS as soon as possible. One needs only to look to the rise of Adolf Hitler, and his associated DHS organizations, the SA and the SS, of 1932-1934, to see the outcome of allowing an agency of government this kind of control over the free citizens of a nation. The people of Germany could not have imagined, until it was too late, the danger of allowing a tyrant this kind of power. We must not be so naïve as to think it will not happen to us as well if we remain passive toward this power grab by the Marxist Obama administration!
Finally, for more than two centuries the nation has lived in peace at home because of the protections of our legitimate military and the many appropriate state and federal law enforcement agencies, supported by Constitutional courts. We stand today at a cross-road. Will we allow this present Administration to overthrow our United States Constitution and its legal processes to amend injustices, or, will we honor our obligations to defend the Constitution against a “domestic” enemy? Our Constitution lays out the proper methods of resolving our differences; and it does not include its overthrow by a rogue agency of a Marxist leadership at home. You, sir, are our constitutionally elected agent to defend our Constitution at home. We are counting upon you. We remain aware, however, of this present threat and will not expose ourselves as an easy prey to the authors of the destruction of our nation.
I know that this letter demands much of you. We elected you because we, the citizens of the State of Texas, believe that you are up to the task at hand and will, against all threats, honor your oath and office. We are also writing to your fellow members of the House and Senate to stand in integrity with the Constitution and against this present threat by the Obama administration and his DHS.
We refuse to surrender our Constitution or our nation!
Captain Terry M. Hestilow
United States Army, Retired
Fort Worth, Texas
March 23, 2013


Fri, 04/05/2013 - 20:32 | 3414940 Seize Mars
Seize Mars's picture

So how to stop Leviathan then?

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 23:29 | 3415381 newengland
newengland's picture

CONgress hates the U.S.A..

Actions speak louder than words.

CONgress  wants to 'protect' the U.S.A. with drones while subjugating the people; making more unemployed, and forcing more taxes on those who work or make companies.

CONgress loves Jon Corzine whose actions stole more than a billion $ from his clients, and O'bomba and Biden said he was their 'go to guy' on financial matters.


Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:39 | 3413862 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

He is to start his own hedge fund? 

The strategic differentiator must be the principle of "There's a sucker born every minute".  As long as he buys the fail-safe insurance policy of including the most powerful politicians, he knows he'll do just fine.  What a business model!  /s

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:36 | 3413876 Elliott Eldrich
Elliott Eldrich's picture

There is real and serious hatred building in this country, a raging bloodlust that will only be quelled by incredible repression or incredible bloodshed. The news about Holder wanting to release Skilling early got me so distressed I actually thought I was going to have a stroke, the good news is that I now know it really is possible to die from what used to be called "apoplexy." My heartfelt advice to anyone with the ability to do so is simple: Get out while you still can. The rest of us are in for Hell on Earth, coming soon to a neighborhood near you.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:35 | 3413894 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

As if there would be any place you could go to ...

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 16:20 | 3414087 Clowns on Acid
Clowns on Acid's picture

Elliot - agree with your premise, however the reason why Holder released Skilling was to take the heat off of Corzine.

Skilling committed accounting fraud and hurt shareholders, Corzine actually STOLE tyhe $ from segregated accounts!

Corzine's sentence should reflect the amount he stole ! See article for 2006 re Skilling below.


updated 5/26/2006 6:38:27 PM ET

Just how much time former Enron Corp. chiefs Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling spend in prison could hinge on how much of the more than $60 billion lost in the company’s crash is deemed their responsibility.

Under federal sentencing guidelines, the newly convicted felons easily face more than 20 years in prison if investor loss tied to their actions exceeds $80 million or more. And the judge who will sentence the disgraced corporate chieftains has made clear he will rely on those guidelines even though they are advisory.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 16:37 | 3414178 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

Now it is becoming ever more clear why the DHS is buying so much military gear....see above.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:34 | 3413883 riley martini
riley martini's picture

FYI Darwin wss wrong about unilinear evolution first written about in the 1930s Anthropology 101. The WSJ article is more proof of the complete lack of any journalistic integrity at the WSJ unless this was a paid add for Corzine. Like we need more proof.

Fri, 04/05/2013 - 15:40 | 3413906 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Not to disagree, but I would think Sumner and his social darwinism are way more important today than anything Darwin himself ever wrote ..

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!