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Running Out Of Champagne
Submitted by Mark J Grant, author of Out of the Box,
The Whole Duck
"Meanwhile, in the broad and lofty chamber set apart for occasions of import, the Abbot himself was pacing impatiently backwards and forwards, with his long white nervous hands clasped in front of him. His thin, thought-worn features and sunken, haggard cheeks bespoke one who had indeed beaten down that inner foe whom every man must face, but had none the less suffered sorely in the contest."
-Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The White Company
The markets, so abundantly juiced by the more than $100 billion pouring in from the Fed every month, are beginning to tire. Like repeated injections of some pain killer; the effects are noticeably starting to wear off. The thrill may not be gone but it is diminishing and one should take note of the condition of the patient.
"One of life's primal situations; the game of hide and seek. Oh, the delicious thrill of hiding while the others come looking for you, the delicious terror of being discovered, but what panic when, after a long search, the others abandon you! You mustn't hide too well. You mustn't be too good at the game. The player must never be bigger than the game itself."
-Jean Baudrillard
Japan, recently in the schoolroom while Professor Bernanke tutored and preached, picked up the play book and began to follow his instructions. Too little, too late I fear but a Hail Mary pass is always worth a try as the game nears ending. Something better than nothing I suppose but I doubt if the effect will achieve the desired results. Japan has now exceeded the point where it can finance itself and the newest batch of dim sum brought in from the kitchen may still not be enough to feed the throng that awaits at the sushi tables. Noble endeavors may not bring the desired results and then there are those strange intentions paving the path to Hell.
Cyprus today and Slovenia, Malta and Luxembourg tomorrow. What is next? What is the new one-off template going to be? Deutsche Bank to graciously take over any new failed bank as one more step along the Road to Rhineland? Italian elections loom and we see nothing, we know nothing and it is verboten to speak about them until they are actually announced. Pots on the stove, neatly arranged, back burner, front burner, the shuffle continues and who has checked the oven? "What oven, there is no oven," Brussels and Berlin wails but it is there none the less.
There is always a place where one may stick one's head.
"I can smell the sauerbraten. Take a deep breath."
-Hogan's Heroes
The ten year Treasury; the long bond. Watch them. Whatever your responsibilities; keep your eye on them. They are serving up lunch and are the best indicator of the courses to come. I believe now they are signaling that we have run out of Champagne and that Mad Dog 20/20 will be served with the duck. No one remembers how to make the foie gros. Serve up the whole duck; no one will notice.
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The only time I've ever blacked-out while drinking occurred with MD 20/20.
Curious. How can you know that you never blacked out any other time?
The funny thing is, the bankers think they'll be able to enjoy all the loot. Sadly, some crackpot Kimmy mights spoil the party.
Night Train FTW !!!
http://www.bumwine.com/nighttrain.html
Ride the Night Train when the White Horse is out?
Cheval Blanc
or
Thunderbird?
Boris these days is brown bag.
What's the word ?
THUNDERBIRD !
How's it sold ?
GOOD AND COLD !
What's the jive ?
BIRD'S ALIVE !
What's the price ?
FIFTY TWICE !
http://cdn-www.cracked.com/articleimages/dan/beer/thunderbird.jpg
My gut convulsed a bit at the mere memory of Thunderbird.
Methinks it's about time Ben admitted hitting bottom and committed to a 12 Step program... Moneydebasers Anonymous
Boris is know bottom. Once is try 12 Step program but is keep lose count so is happy find of 2 step program. Boris is still vodka problem but is now can dance.
Give Cisco a try sometime. It's the Dom P. of bum wines. Like liquified cotton candy that get's you hammered! Almost embarrased to admit I tried it.
LOL! IIRC a radio station I listen to (see profile for link) did an all request hour at lunch a few years ago with a bum wine theme. There are more than a few tunes out there that mention MD, Nightrain, Thunderbird, etc.
I recall the jingle as 40 twice, but that is Ben Bernanke saving the economy by getting them to spend their savings!
Regards,
Cooter
Ditch the Thunderbird for Woodchuck and a 40 of Ides on the stoop
God that brings back some memories better forgotten
Other than the motivation to never be poor...
The American Classic. None finer.
2 of my top 5 hangovers are thanks to MD 20/20. The photo for this article literally gave me shivers and I swear I could taste "grape" mixed with bile at the back of my throat.
The "beer" of champagnes...
today ends with a Y - so it's a POMO day. Bottom's in and they'll rally it from here
champale.
MD is for hobos. Boones Farm is the ticket.
We might have gone to HS together.
Yeah! Remember when she unleashed the purple Boones Farm tsunami all over the table at Taco Bell?
MD 20/20
18% or 13% alc. by vol.
As majestic as the cascading waters of a drain pipe, MD 20/20 is bottled by the 20/20 wine company in Westfield, New York. This is a good place to start for the street wine rookie, but beware; this dog has a bite to back up its bark. MD Stands for Mogen David, and is affectionately called "Mad Dog 20/20". You'll find this beverage as often in a bum's nest as in the rock quarry where the high school kids sneak off to drink. This beverage is likely the most consumed by non-bums, but that doesn't stop any bums from drinking it! Our research indicates that MD 20/20 is the best of the bum wines at making you feel warm inside. Some test subjects report a slight numbing agent in MD 20/20, similar to the banana paste that the dentist puts in your mouth before injecting it with novocain. Anyone that can afford a dentist should steer clear of this disaster. Avaliable in various nauseating tropical flavors that coat your whole system like bathtub scum, but only the full "Red Grape Wine" flavor packs the 18% whallop.
bumwine.com
Speaking of TacoBell, I was a beer boy in high school. We "borrowed" a fiberglass bell from one of the old tacobells, drilled holes, lined it with plastic, and placed it high on a micr. stand in my driveway for an eight person beer funnel. My sister worked there and called it Taco Hell. The things that make us proud.
Mad Dog was great, but don't forget Ripple for when the BF Strawberry was sold out
Since the theme of the article is running out of Champagne, and since you've brought up Ripple, it's time to mention "Champipple", the mixture of Ripple and cheap champagne that Red Foxx's character so enjoyed on Sanford & Son
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Esr4MEu20bs
Great stuff.Not fortifed but brewed.
Never need b12 again, or laxatives for that matter.
Nothing says 'Date Rape' like Boones Farm
date gRape
I need Ripple.
Love this Quote:
"The thrill may not be gone but it is diminishing and one should take note of the condition of the patient."
Condition of the Patient? The Patient expired.....yet the Bernank, equipped with his QE Defibrillator zaps the corpse and boldly proclaims "It's Alive" when the corpse gets a boner. This is immediately followed by jubilation in the mainstream media, as they proclaim the corpse lives, and should be back on his feet soon.
Meanwhile, everyone on ZH observes the rancid smell, the discoloration, and the rot that's setting in. The Lloyd Blankflein Fly, and the Jamie Dimon Fly busy themselves feasting on the body, while their offspring, the Washington D.C. Maggots proclaim the flies won't survive without moar food.
touche'
PPT showed up. hitting GOLD again. Ridiculous. Bitches printing and printing, none stop.
Gold bears are stucked under pile of paper.
I feel that "Oh shit!" moment coming when the collective masses realize they are on a train with no more brakes, only MD 20/20 to dowse the rails and ride this bitch into the crash.
Honorable mention for Boone's Farm.
Lightning Creek
http://www.ghettowine.com/maddog/vintage/lightning.html
..usually leads you up shit's creek
Jesus man. Gold is in play around the world by big money who is all in the game instead of hedging against it in some sort "I dont care about the price, it's going the moon" attitude. They buy and sell based on the technicals. Plus, there is a shit ton of capital running scared around the world. The flow of this capital is going to distort markets all over the place - and that game is just getting started with the EU the verge of an outright stroke and Japan carpet bombing with Yen.
I keep telling people, what I do when I am blacked out is none of my business, but it seems they just revel in telling the tales...
Beverage of choice in my high school years. Not even sure what it was... but the corner store run by an Asian family who at check out would say, "you no have ID? You bring next time" sold a lot of it to 16 year-olds.
Exact same experience growing up. Even when you could get alcohol in your teens, you had no idea what good alcohol was and end up drinking pure rot gut.
HAHAHA!!!
Over here in Europe, life for a 16 year old was a bit easier :)
You bough booze when you where 14 years old and at the counter they asked: WANT SIGARETTES WITH THAT BOTTLE? 2 PACKS AND YOU GET A FREE LGIHTER!!
good old days... :)
shit, mass transportation, Renoir, labelled GMOs, alcohol and tobacco to minors - you win
Funny you mention that, when I was a youngin my mother used to send me to the corner deli to get her cigarettes all the time. The clerk would ask me the question who was I buying them for, I tell them my mother and that was it. No let me see your papers bullshit. Now we can't trust anyone and have to save everyone from themselves because they are not capable of behaving the way we the chosen few (chosen by ourselves) decided so.
In our neck of the woods, the high school libation of choice was none other than the Green Death itself: Haffenreffer.
40 ounces or bust.
http://rumorsontheinternets.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/private-stock-ma...
Great website on the popular USA ghetto fruity flavoured 'bum wine', the items with names like
Mad Dog 20/20, Night Train Express, Thunderbird
That's a funny and specially American tradition I observed when visiting the USA many years ago. Although we have quite cheap generic wines in Europe, and our 'winos' often have in their hands a 'litron' (1 litre bottle) of wine that is not bad table wine ... the American fruity-colour 'bum wine' is a category all its own
Famous ad jingle:
« What's the Word?
Thunderbird!
How's it sold?
Good and Cold! »
Here's the website with pictures, and ghetto-edge stores where to buy in the US ... great site. Hilarious reviews like « ... if you like to smell your hand after pumping gas [petrol], look no further ... »
http://www.bumwine.com/
I heard it like this:
« What's the Word?
Thunderbird!
« What's the price?
Fifty twice.
(Ok, now I'm dating myself.)
What's the word?
Thunderbird.
What's the price?
A dollar twice.
From Earl
oops I see you beat me to it. My brother introduced me to that site. That page is so him.
Whatever happened to "Wild Irish"? That's what we drank in Queens as MD 20/20 was a little too "top shelf" for us.
when 20/20 is too top shelf - that was gorgeous
from bumwine.com
Wild Irish Rose
18% alc. by vol.
The thorn in your hangover is a wild rose from Ireland. Bottled by Canandaigua Wine in Chanadaigua, NY, the same company as Cisco. Like its brother Cisco, "Wild I" definitely has some secret additives that go straight to the cranium. Another web page claims that this foul beverage is a conspiracy by the republicans to kill the homeless. Bums ask a liquor store clerk for Wild Irish rose by saying, "gimme a pint of rosie with a skirt," a skirt being a paper bag. Some don't want it cold either. It's called "wild" for a good reason, and bystanders should beware. Wild Irish Rose is sure to light a fire of drunken rage in your soul. A guy named "Richards" is mentioned on the label.
A helpful viewer named Carl wrote an email directing our attention this web page that claims that "Richard's Wild Irish Rose (named after his son, Canandaigua's current president Richard Sands)." The "White Label" variety of this beverage is definitely a hard wine to come to terms with. "White Label" smells like rubbing alcohol, and has no added flavoring to mask its pungent taste and noxious odors. Avaliable in 375 mL, 750 mL, and a 50 oz jug.
Field reporter "Greyham" brings us this report: Here is Wild I's devastating new addition, "Wild Fruit with Ginseng". I'll be honest with you: the normal Wild I has turned into some sort of fierce energy drink gone wrong mixed with the original to create a bumworthy migraine-inducing concoction. I purchased a 750 mL which goes for 3.99 and a 375 mL which goes for 2.59 (at least here in FL). Word on the streets here is that the bums are wary of it. I talked to a couple that said they'd prefer to "stick with what's tried and true". Apparently they haven't accepted it yet as the real deal. As for me, I drank the 375mL on a semi-full stomach and was just ruined by the stuff. The flavor retains it's same potent Wild I nastiness but has a whole new bouquet of fruity flavor added as well (potentially aimed at bums of the female persuasion). Upon completion of the 375, I was thoroughly inebriated and found myself honestly wondering where my next fix of the stuff was going to come from. This scared me so I immediately started drinking water....here's the best part. After that relatively small bottle, I didn't piss until the next evening despite drinking copious amounts of water. There is DEFINITELY something in this stuff that dehydrates you...possibly the "ginseng" or whatever it is that they added to this already foul stuff.
Got sick on the stuff in '83 while in high school. One of my buddy's gave me a bottle for my 40th birth day. Everyone had a shot that night and the rest went down the drain the next day.
How's about Thunderbird?
Whachoo mean you ain't got no schlitz-malt-licka!? How'c'n'yew run a proper establshmnt without no schlitz-malt-licka????
Will that be with the Chinese "river" duck?
Stack cases of bourbon. There is nothing more liquid.
I think the algos mistook this headline for "running out of Nat Gas". WTF is going on with Natty this AM?
http://www.google.com/finance?chdnp=1&chdd=1&chds=1&chdv=1&chvs=logarithmic&chdeh=0&chfdeh=0&chdet=1365192000000&chddm=1955&chls=IntervalBasedLine&cmpto=NYSEARCA:UNG&cmptdms=0&q=NYSEARCA:USO&&fct=big&ei=F9ReUeroM-um0AHPVg
Shale producers are moar underwater with their leases than homeowners with their mortgages. The economics of $3 or $4 per MMBtu are illusory.
Even more laughable http://www.google.com/finance?chdnp=1&chdd=1&chds=1&chdv=1&chvs=logarithmic&chdeh=0&chfdeh=0&chdet=1365192000000&chddm=248469&chls=IntervalBasedLine&cmpto=NYSEARCA:SPY&cmptdms=0&q=NYSEARCA:USO&&fct=big&ei=AdZeUaifDerN0AH89gE
Yea give me 6 Schiltzes please....Whatever is free.
Nothing worse than a cheap champagne hangover...
We are all just prisoners here... Of our own device...
...and a strange fat chick looking at you with love in her eyes.
hence the alcohol
duck? we get duck?
"Excuse me waiter, this Champagne tastes a little funny."
"That's because it's Mad Dog 20/20."
"Excuse me again, but the duck tastes a little funny too."
"That's because it's horse."
That's nothing! Piece of cake! Just take your soda siphon, fill in some cheap chardonnay, add the carbondioxide, and there you go: Wonderful champaign!
The people of Coatbridge highly recommend a wee swally o' Bucky instead.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buckfast_Tonic_Wine
Yes, they ship it by the tanker.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:BuckyinthetankO.jpg
Sausages, yum.
Break out the night train
Tastes the same coming back up as it did going down.
They'll pump the market back up today... don't worry. By 11am that UE announcement drop will be a distant memory. PMs will sell off and be red by the end of the day.
Everyone seems to be so focused on when the punch bowl is going to be removed, they forget the partiers are already so drunk they are making irrational decisions and are going to be passing / blacking out as they fall down. Perhaps when the chairs are removed from the room, people won’t need a place to sit, because they are already drunken dead on the floor.
Good point. The FOMC might as well be playing Edward 40 Hands every day they meet.
http://images.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/Edward-40-Hands-drinking-games-457854_450_338.jpg
some are blacked out and some have strong withdrawal symptoms and scream for a hair of the dog - but rational decisions? I sometimes wonder if they'd be able to make any even when sober
I remember this time I woke up on the filthy bathroom floor of a biker bar in North Dakota covered in...
(Wait, are there children reading this......)
As long as your butt didn't hurt.
Yeah...
So he figured he could just ignore the sore throat and open sores
Pass the Night Train
Foie gras and not "foie gros"...
he meant "foie gross" - either he does not like it or he meant a dozen dozens foies. why "Free French"? I'd go for "French for French Kisses"
Wow. MadDog 20/20 Banana Red. Haven't seen/consumed that since high school. Ah, the memories.
Don't worry I just read the 3-D printer can print Mad dog factories fully equipped with highly paid alcholic workers!
"...we have run out of Champagne and that Mad Dog 20/20 will be served with the rat."
Caution: The "duck" is now imported from China.
funny that you mention that - I was wondering if those ducks aren't edible after all - if well cooked
(Un)comfortablly numb?
They can run but they can't hide. Anyone stupid enough to buy these bonds deserves exactly what's coming their way.
Spain 10-Year 4.816 4.918 4.897 4.816 -0.102 -2.07% 13:54:24
Italy 10-Year 4.458 4.564 4.519 4.443 -0.106 -2.32% 13:54:59
So do fired wall street types drink MD 20/20 with the pinkey out? I think yes...
One of my family members used to run a high end wine store out CT way, NYC commuter territory.
When they got fired bad, first they kept on buying the high end wines so as not to let down appearances.
Then they kept buying it on the tab
Then he had to cut them off, no more tab
Once they finished the high end wine, they started on the lower quality stuff, for cash
And then the proverbial vodka
The handles of vodka
Lots and lots of vodka
Then they'd get divorced, the house sold and disappear.
you must have been blessed to share their journey
Its Friday. Do you know where your money is?
At the bottom of lake Minnecaca.
the same place I left other dawn deposits
Why is dim sum being served at the sushi tables?
"Some people wanted Champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs"
Dwight Eisenhower
Oooh the Doctor! MD 20/20 will cure what ails us. Suicide on the installment plan.
When I saw the picture of Mad Dog (strawberry kiwi was my personal favorite...on the way down and back up), I knew we wouldn't be talking about finance in this thread.
The drink of choice at my high school - orange Cisco http://www.ghettowine.com/cisco/orange.html
who said Bernanke talks about finance either *hands out the Beerrrr*
what you need is some Ripple! ain't no party with no Ripple
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxL1feGp520
Investors are starting to "wake-up to the reality" that stocks are the only way for them to get real returns on their money, Mark Mobius, executive chairman of Templeton Emerging Markets Group, told CNBC on Friday.
Great timing old man!!!
Nightrain Bitchez
This hangover is going to be a bitch...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Esr4MEu20bs
upscale... the best of both worlds..
..Champale and Ripple.
Well what they have done is double the printing press by adding Japan to the mix. So you add our printing and Japan's new printing and they have a potentially unstoppable paper recovery that could send us to Dow 20000 with virtually the majority of people being unemployed. Neat trick except for the Black Market of real prices eroding any and every printed dollars value. So you want me to pay how much for that house... No thanks got this foreclosure here. So you want me to pay how much for that car repair... No thanks, Jake and his shadetree boys can do it for less than half of that and actually their warranty is better than yours - they stand by their word.
YEAH, AND WITH DESSERT WE'LL PASS OUT THE PIPES AND SMOKE SOME CRACK.... yeah, that's the ticket!
i notice the bitcoin advertisements have started to pop up here. hmm.
they work well with the Ukrainian whore ads... I just bought 3 (and a case of Ripple) with 5 bitcoins
$100bln is $100bln. There is no lack of champagne, its just a matter of where the banks are stuffing it.
is mad dog still around?
im old and in the way
Amateurs!!
That ain't "Mad Dog"....its "Mellow Delight"!!
Just ask any bootheel hillbilly so!!
CHEERS BITCHEZ!
Doesn't matter if the markets no longer respond to $100 billion in "QE". The FED will just print $200 billion the next month, $400 billion the next, etc... They have no constraints. Politicians are on board. Citizens want the easy way out. Like every previous inflationary-collapse episode in human history, this ends in wheelbarrows.
Some of you might get a kick out of this.....
http://www.bumwine.com
I laughed till I cried the first time I went there.