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No Country For Rich, Fat Men

Tyler Durden's picture


Given the increasing weight of taxation on the middle- and upper-incomes in this country and the first step towards savings 'wealth' taxation, it is perhaps no surprise that the nation's employers have decided enough is enough with another implicit tax - healthcare. As the WSJ reports, cost-conscious companies (such as spare tire manufacturer Michelin North America) are passing on the additional costs of healthcare to their obese workers. Are you a man with a waist measuring 40 inches or more? Have high blood pressure? Starting next year, your unhealthiness will cost you.

Employees who hit baseline requirements in three or more categories (blood pressure, glucose, cholesterol, triglycerides, and waist size) will receive up to $1,000 to reduce their annual deductibles. Those who don't qualify must sign up for a health-coaching program in order to earn a smaller credit.

But, six in 10 employers say they plan to impose penalties in the next few years on employees who don't take action to improve their health, according to a recent study, and current law permits companies to use health-related rewards or penalties as long as the amount doesn't exceed 20% of the cost of the employee's health coverage. Increasingly companies have flipped from the incentive scheme (to be healthy) to a penalty or 'fat tax'.

Typically 20% of a company's workforce drives 80% of health-care costs, and with companies unable to grow top-lines, the search for ever more cost-cutting means the balance of carrot and stick seems to be tilting increasingly to the stick.

So the people got their pro-equality Obamacare but if you are an 80/20 risk factor - you will be less equal than others.

Via WSJ,

Are you a man with a waist measuring 40 inches or more? If you want to work at Michelin North America Inc., that spare tire could cost you.


Employees at the tire maker who have high blood pressure or certain size waistlines may have to pay as much as $1,000 more for health-care coverage starting next year.


As they fight rising health-care costs and poor results from voluntary wellness programs, companies across America are penalizing workers for a range of conditions, including high blood pressure and thick waistlines. They are also demanding that employees share personal-health information, such as body-mass index, weight and blood-sugar level, or face higher premiums or deductibles.


Corporate leaders say they can't lower health-care costs without changing workers' habits, and they cite the findings of behavioral economists showing that people respond more effectively to potential losses, such as penalties, than expected gains, such as rewards. With corporate spending on health care expected to reach an average of $12,136 per employee this year, according to a study by the consulting firm Towers Watson, penalties may soon be the new norm.




Employee-rights advocates say the penalties are akin to "legal discrimination." While companies are calling them wellness incentives, the penalties are essentially salary cuts by a different name, says Lew Maltby, president of Princeton, N.J.-based National Workrights Institute, a nonprofit advocacy group for employee rights in the workplace. "No one ever calls a bad thing what it really is," he says. "It means millions of people are getting their pay cut for no legitimate reason."


Companies may say they have tried softer approaches, but many haven't exhausted their options, ...




Six in 10 employers say they plan to impose penalties in the next few years on employees who don't take action to improve their health, according to a recent study of 800 mid- to large-size firms by human-resources consultancy Aon Hewitt. A separate study by the National Business Group on Health and Towers Watson found that the share of employers who plan to impose penalties is likely to double to 36% in 2014.


Current law permits companies to use health-related rewards or penalties as long as the amount doesn't exceed 20% of the cost of the employee's health coverage. ...




"It opens a Pandora's box," says a full-time CVS employee who works at a distribution center in Florida. "It's none of their business." ...




Honeywell International Inc. HON recently introduced a $1,000 penalty—deducted from health-savings accounts—for workers who elect to get certain procedures such as knee and hip replacement and back surgery without seeking more input. The company had offered $500 for participating in a program that provides access to data and additional opinions for workers considering surgery, but less than 20% of the staff joined up. Since it flipped the incentive to a penalty, the company says, enrollment has been above 90%.




Typically, 20% of a company's workforce drives 80% of health-care costs, according to Cigna's Mr. Smith, and roughly 70% of health-care costs are related to chronic conditions brought on by lifestyle choices, such as overeating or sedentary behavior. But when employers target those conditions, employees themselves may feel targeted, especially when it comes to their weight. While companies can't say it outright, many of their measures—such as high cholesterol and high blood pressure—are proxies for obesity.


A 2011 Gallup survey estimated obese or overweight full-time U.S. workers miss an additional 450 million days of work each year, compared with healthy workers, resulting in more than $153 billion in lost productivity.




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Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:09 | 3416995 Taint Boil
Taint Boil's picture

Oh. My. Gawd

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:12 | 3417003 knukles
knukles's picture

Interesting treading of a very fine line between free market of paying your one's own freight and discrimination.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:18 | 3417015 mikla
mikla's picture


Agreed:  It's actually a genius tool to:

  1. Create more victim factions.
  2. Have factions blame each other for everything.

It's a distraction.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:32 | 3417060 lewy14
lewy14's picture

The more they blame each other, the less they blame the rulers.

Fat is the new ghey.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:39 | 3417077 toys for tits
toys for tits's picture

The real pink elephant in the room has only been addressed peripherally.  

How much privacy will we have in a healthcare that is run by the government?

First, they came for the fatties, but I said nothing ....

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:17 | 3417170 TuesdayBen
TuesdayBen's picture

Guy has Dunlap's Disease - his belly done lapped over his belt....

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:39 | 3417226 walküre
walküre's picture

He is a victim. The group of fatties should get funded as special interest group and demand all kinds of special privileges.

Two seats on an aircraft is just for starters. Extra wide car seats and extra wide isles in the grocery stores is next. Fatty parking right next to the cash register needs to happen as well.

It's not a choice. God made them that way.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:59 | 3417270 lewy14
lewy14's picture

Actually, given new understanding of the effects of genetics - and bacterial gut infections - on obesity, then treating teh fat as a congenital disability or an infectious disease isn't entirely inappropriate.

[Cure for bad gut bacteria is to ingest dilute fecal matter of healthy people. No, I'm not kidding. This one is a "google it for yourself" topic, folks.]

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:23 | 3417311 flacon
flacon's picture

Employment ought to have nothing to do with healthcare, in the same way that it has nothing to do with home-'owners' insurance, fire insurance or car insurance. I feel the same way about marriage and government. These things should never be connected

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:28 | 3417331 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

If the "employer" needs to provide "healthcare" then they're definitely related.

We all pay higher premiums to subsidize others irresponsible behavior.

If you CHOOSE to be fat or smoke, you need to pay more. It's like getting an "option" on a car, it costs more.

You don't want to pay less, smoke less.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:54 | 3417379 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Would you extend that to individuals who engage in unhealthy activities? Skydiving? Skateboarding? Non-marital sex? IV drug use? There have been big debates about motorcyclists being required to wear helmets, which is a similar situation.  

Not only should healthcare insurance be divorced from employment, it should be outlawed except for catastrophic care. What we have now is more of a combination of catastrophy insurance and prepaid medical care. I'd prefer to see the latter abandoned to a pay-as-you-go system. Can't pay? Ask a friend. Have no friends? Probably because you're a jerk and deserve to be sick. 

Well, maybe not that last part, but we do need to return toward more individual responsibility. Since that's not going to happen as long as we have elections (I'm not saying they're not fixed or make any difference) to provide the illusion of 'democracy', we're screwed.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 23:07 | 3417785 markmotive
markmotive's picture


I saw that guy on a scooter the other day.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 01:57 | 3417930 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Not is guy, is Boris' sister!

But, just as same, maybe you see on scooter because walk is not option.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 08:26 | 3418161 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

what about government employees?

will they still have anything goes golden chariot healthcare?

Chris Christie, do you have any comments?

he's so fat it should be a different font when i type his name

chris christie

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 23:30 | 3420713 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

I hear that scooter is still in there, somewhere.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 05:16 | 3418030 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

Isn't ghey sex riskier and therefore an "unhealthy activity?"

Looks like we'll need a rump ranger penalty/tax. /s

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 08:28 | 3418163 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

i'm told it keeps one pretty regular

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 11:30 | 3418409 sm0k4
sm0k4's picture

You list activities, not lifestyles. Something tells me you are a fatty playing the victim. Over eating and smoking are lifestyle choices. Your comparison sucks my left testicle.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 14:02 | 3418812 max2205
max2205's picture

Thats a big fat penis or is it?

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 22:49 | 3420600 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

Your argument embodies the liberal "all or nothing" mindset.

What about the case of rape.

If some people can't be trusted with guns, then it's OK to take EVERYONES guns??

Embrace the "shades of gray".

Which behavior has a more negative affect on insurance premiums/tax dollars, smoking or skateboarding ?

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 22:48 | 3420604 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

Your argument embodies the liberal "all or nothing" mindset.

What about the case of rape.

If some people can't be trusted with guns, then it's OK to take EVERYONES guns??

Embrace the "shades of gray".

Which behavior has a more negative affect on insurance premiums/tax dollars, smoking or skateboarding ?

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 20:05 | 3417402 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

booger with that kinda comment...this is not the right sight for you...

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 22:59 | 3420637 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

How would you define the "ideal" visitor/participant of this site?

I don't like paying "extra" money to pay for fat/smokers, just like I don't like paying extra money so the govt can give it to people who WON'T work. You probably don't see the correlation.

You sound like another liberal. Everyone has a right to free speech, as long as they agree with you.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 22:52 | 3417763 Frozen IcQb
Frozen IcQb's picture

Where are the gratuitous sexy zero hedge girls gone?

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 04:48 | 3418010 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

You are precisely the kind of person who Hedgers have been ranting about for years. Complete traitor to liberty you are, my little collectivist.


Sun, 04/07/2013 - 23:10 | 3420669 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

I believe "hedgers" disagree with being made to pay for others mistakes/indiscretions.

Like GeezerGeek said " we do need to return toward more individual responsibility."

Which would include things like being PERSONALLY (NOT collectively) responsible for smoking and overeating.

That would mean THEM paying extra for smoking, not US paying extra for their habits.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:41 | 3417354 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

flacon they do thru your credit report health.......and my carefirst policy states that if i am not wearing my seatbelt they will not pay for needs....the employers already entered your life by piss testing you for matter when you they fructose everything,  gmos, etc. fucking etc......are those fat cocksuckers in congress going to be held to i dont think it was right to put chris christys pic on this article to make a point.....

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 20:23 | 3417448 Rustysilver
Rustysilver's picture


Car insurance has been connected to user/buyer since forever.  This is your risk profile.

The same way your fire insurance.  How close are you to a hydrant?

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:26 | 3417330 knukles
knukles's picture

The New ObamaDontCare slogan

"Eat shit, bro"

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:41 | 3417357 akak
akak's picture

Actually, it will be:

"It's time to eat your shit."


PS: LOL at "Obama(don't)Care".  Sounds familiar, somehow.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 01:58 | 3417932 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture


Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:56 | 3417385 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

More like "Eat shit and die." Saves on Medicaid/Medicare expenses.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:31 | 3417342 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

OMG Becky ~ Look at her butt... It is so big...She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends... They only talk her to her because she looks like a total prostitute, OKAY... I mean, her BUTT, it's so 'ROUND', it's just OUT THERE'... I mean 'GROSS'... She's so...


OH WAIT!... Was this the FLOTUS thread, or the foto caption thread?...


Sat, 04/06/2013 - 20:01 | 3417395 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

There's a word for that: steatopygous. I was introduced to this word by William Buckley several decades ago and can't forget it no matter how hard I try.

Try searching on "steatopygia pictures" if you want to be amazed (or disgusted, or...)

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:42 | 3417358 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

You at correct. It was originally called fecal banking but they changed it to microbiotia banking. We are setting one up at our lab. I lobbied hard to keep the name fecal banking but no one at my work reads ZH and so I was voted down for the more regal sounding name. It is used primarily to treat deadly C diff infections with a greater than 85% cure rate. Kind of like fighting bacteria with bacteria. Eating lots of fermented veggies, taking probiotics and avoiding antibiotics makes one less likely to have that procedure.


Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:48 | 3417369 lewy14
lewy14's picture

@MM, thanks for the info!

What kind of fermented veggies work best?

[Slogan for your lab: Eat shit and... live!

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 20:21 | 3417444 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Lewy14, the best is kimchi and sauerkraut but make sure it's RAW. Any cooking destroys the bacteria you're trying to populate your colon. I also take inner- eco probiotic kefir. Don't over do at the start or you'll get the trots!

Well it great to see you guys appreciated the Fecal Bank. 30 people at our fecal bank meeting were staring at me laughing hysterically about the name. I think they thought I had a grade school sense of humor. I was going to put up a sign and send you all a link. Microbiotia lab just didn't have the same vibe. But I do love the EAT SHIT and LIVE line. I must graffiti that on the sign when no one is looking. Otherwise its another month of sensitivity training for me!


Sat, 04/06/2013 - 20:37 | 3417493 lewy14
lewy14's picture

@MM, OK, will try the raw sauerkraut. Thanks! And good luck with you "branding"... ;)

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 04:43 | 3418017 Frankie Carbone
Frankie Carbone's picture

Speaking of which, I have about a foot of unholy fecal rope to deposit in the bank branch off the master bedroom. BRB..

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:51 | 3417374 akak
akak's picture

Actually, after reading innumerable news stories over the past five years, and particularly given the Cyprus debacle, I think "fecal banking" is by far the more appropriate label, because most of those currently holding bank accounts are going to get shit out of them.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 20:05 | 3417401 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Fecal banking, brought to you by fecal banksters.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 23:03 | 3417780 Zero Debt
Zero Debt's picture

You're just going to leave rectal banking behind you like that?

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 21:21 | 3417588 Mr.Bigfoot
Mr.Bigfoot's picture

Ingestion of dilute feces is to recolonize the colon after a life threatening clostridium difficile Colitis. Acually the feces is endoscopically placed in the upper GI tract, not eaten. It has nothing to do with obesity. Obesity in America is due to excess calories and lack of exercise. Plain and simple.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 04:46 | 3418018 the tower
the tower's picture

Actually, it does have something to do with obesity:

Excess calories and lack of exercise, sure, and genetics. But read the above and you'll see a 4th reason: overuse of antibiotics makes you fat, ingestion of the proper bacteria (recolonize) can make you slim again, unless you keep stuffing your fat gob of course.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 09:12 | 3418190 thewhitelion
thewhitelion's picture

Makes a nice smothie, I'm sure.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:30 | 3417335 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

When they came for the 'smokers' I said nothing, in fact I cheered them on with righteous fervor, now they have come for me.

Some anonymous fucker fat...

Mind you, when the EBT cards stop working they will slow the free shit army down.  Give me time to change mag's and high tail it outta there.

Opportunity bitchez.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 01:24 | 3417910 G-R-U-N-T
G-R-U-N-T's picture

LMAO! Good job walküre.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 05:35 | 3418040 joak
joak's picture

I think it's a bit more complex. I'm sure some people are more prone to obesity than others, but if it's because of genetics, how do you explain the surge of obesity all around the world those last years ? If people would eat healthy, those figures would drop dramatically.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 22:36 | 3417731 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

roger ailes?

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:55 | 3417109 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

I don't know-- a union fatty with $50k plan would be facing a $10K out of pocket expense on that cadillac plan if his employer went that way...

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 14:06 | 3418825 max2205
max2205's picture

Fat is the new smoker.   Watch out

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:36 | 3417071 The Limerick King
The Limerick King's picture



The fatties had better beware

And get their fat ass off that chair

Employers need cuts

They're sizing up butts

And billing those shaped like a pear

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:41 | 3417232 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

Judging by the picture, that guy's butt ain't necessarily the problem.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:29 | 3417326 akak
akak's picture

How dare anyone mock him for his individual lifestyle choice!

He didn't build that gut --- somebody else did that.

Besides, even if he is gravitationally challenged, it is not his fault --- it's just a disease!  You know, like alcoholism!

Why, I bet it's an actual syndrome!

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:45 | 3417364 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

leave chris christy alone...LEAVE CHRIS CHRISTY ALONE!!!!!

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:50 | 3417372 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture


if he is gravitationally challenged,

Regulate gravity, dammit! Where's Maxine Waters? The government needs to socialize...take over all the gravity.

On a side note, I am a very lean 5'8/175 lbs. (173 cm/80 kg) which makes me technically overweight. Will I be punished for this? A lot of people who are in good shape fall into the "overweight" category when they calculate their BMIs...

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 08:34 | 3418165 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

no shit

what about people who weightlift?

if you can bench over 250 lbs you will be overweight by the charts due to muscle mass

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 09:50 | 3418237 YC2
YC2's picture

I am obese according to the BMI and I'm like 3 solid weeks of dieting away from a 6-pack. I also have a 400+ lb Olympic squat, so the mass is like 65% quads lol.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 23:25 | 3420704 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

That guy in the picture must have been doing LOTS of belly exercising !

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:55 | 3417380 Freewheelin Franklin
Freewheelin Franklin's picture

it's just a disease!  You know, like alcoholism!


Actually, liver disease from drinking can cause that. It's called "ascites". 

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:03 | 3417275 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

The workers are bursting their britchez

Economy's down in the ditchez

There's no need to frown

My blood pressure's down

'Cuz I just bought more silver, bitchez!

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:24 | 3417289 r3phl0x
r3phl0x's picture

I cannot control what I weigh.

I sleep 18 hours a day

Then eat shitty fast food

and "exercise" on redtube.

For my fat ass, Obama will pay!

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 23:35 | 3420721 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

....and "workout" on redtube....

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:35 | 3417067 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

At my work they don't fine people. IT'S AGAINST THE LAW.


At the entrance, you have to climb about 12 stairs or so....
it's a great fatty blocker...
they quit after the first 4 stairs or so... I've once saw a fatty go to the 6th stairs... but than he died... sad storry... but true...

and there's a defibrilator at work. But that's another 50meters.. at the reception desk... that's just cruel for people like that...

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:02 | 3417132 TuesdayBen
TuesdayBen's picture

Fatties in Europe?  Say it isn't so...

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 05:19 | 3418031 Divine
Divine's picture

American (& middle eastern, asian) fast food is making Europe almost as Obese as North America (ok, not quite). Worst are Brits, southeners and unfortunately part of the scandinavians. In Finland, where I live, many young people have abadoned all sports and adapted nasty eating habits. There is still hope in eastern european countries due to many faminies in recent history - the women are still fine as hell there. I'm not saying that all or even most people are obese in Europe - but sadly high procentage has adapted the american way of life.


I lived in Tampa, FL when I was younger, as my dad was working at McDill, so I have seen america too. Many europeans are really keen on amateur sports so it is a big pro for us.

1st post bitches

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 23:28 | 3420707 boogerbently
boogerbently's picture

That's great.

Remove the elevator, make the fattest people work on the highest floors.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:41 | 3417085 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

  We live in a 'one size fits all' economy Knuks. It's all or nothing!  Justice Roberts saw to that one. ( Obunga care)

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:32 | 3417210 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

With OBunga care they will control every aspect of our unemployed sorry lives under the guise of cost control.  You think bloomy and moochele's food police are restrictive?  We ain't seen nothing yet from these progressive Nazi's.  This is what happens when the low information population thinks they're getting something from the Govt for free.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:44 | 3417239 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

None the less, someone's gotta put some duct tape over that dudes pie hole. His picture alone represents a public nuisance if not indecency.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:56 | 3417260 buckethead
buckethead's picture

Yeah... He had a bit of back fat, but did you see the cock on that bastard?

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 11:05 | 3418358 Loose Caboose
Loose Caboose's picture

did you see the cock on that bastard?

No, I didn't see it - and he hasn't either .... in a few decades.

Seriously, for an example, look at footage of the populous taken in the 50's and 60's - like footage of the crowds during the assassination of JFK.  Count the people who are overweight - it's difficult to find one.  We need to return to something more closely resembling that lifestyle.  More home-cooked food, less reliance on transportation at our door and time outside, away from passive activities, like surfing the web (guilty). 


Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:15 | 3417261 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

Look at him, he's beyond fat.  I would say he probably has a disease and may not necessarily be a glutton.  But he's someone we can all look at as "the problem", for which we can legislate a "solution".  Progressives are very good at this, don't forget they were the same people behind Prohibiton in the 20's.  And don't think alcohol and "medical" maryjane won't be in their cross hairs soon.  National healthcare is the perfect vehicle for them to legislate all human behavior.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:58 | 3417264 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

i betcha they get together and by a bipartisan majority, they will get rid of most of obamakare, just like he shaved off his beard mooochelle and  keep all the revenue increases....maybe

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:49 | 3417368 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

free market means if you want insurance, the insurer has the right to categorize you based on risk...that's the way the free market would work.   People that allow themselves to become morbidly obese are parasites to a system that does not allow companies and insurers to isolate them out as high risk....and they, therefore have no incentive to be healthy.   Charging them extra, for being in a high risk zone is the best thing that could happen to them.   And for God's sake stop buying them scooters and minivans with ramps just to enable their 400 pound lifestyle.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 20:03 | 3417400 TheProphet
TheProphet's picture


I can be taxed at a higher percentage based solely on the fact that I make more money than someone else, and this is nothing compared to that.

I have an idea. Put down the doughnut, get off your fat fucking ass, and do a pushup. Or don't. Just stop asking me to share the burden of paying for your sins.

And I am not just talking about the fatasses. Smokers, heavy drinkers, drug users, fuck you too.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 01:36 | 3417915 G-R-U-N-T
G-R-U-N-T's picture

Here some motivational incentive for fatasses, to get off their lard ass Mr. Prophet.



Mon, 04/08/2013 - 05:07 | 3421062 Antifaschistische
Antifaschistische's picture

It doesn't stop there Prophet..

...what about the family I've worked with who has a daughter that's been hospitalized as a result of neck injuries in gymnastics because her mother is CERTAIN that she may make it to the olympics.

...what about the kid that already broken multiple bones because he's committed to be a professional skateboarder.

These are very high risk voluntary sports, so I shouldn't have to shovel out money for your kids fantasies.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 23:15 | 3417793 decon
decon's picture

This is what happens when too many natural selective pressures are removed from the human species.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 00:46 | 3417888 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

+ 1,000,000

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:15 | 3417007 mikla
mikla's picture

It's already started.  Employers, facing margin-compression, and increasing costs, are merely figuring out ways to pass costs along.

They just needed a green light.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:52 | 3417102 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Reminds me of the Q meeting last week.

Sales are down people... we made a loss..

the only good thing is... we didn't have to pay bonuses so expenses are down with 20%... yeah... we really wish we could have paid those bonuses...


The bonus culture that everybody loves so much because everybody thinks they'll make movie bonuses....
well... it's not that great when the tide turns.
than... they make about minimum wage.

Call me crazy but I demanded all my bonuses to be turned into a fix.
I lost about 10% on my bonuses turning that over yes...
but now I make more than those who kept their bonuses.
I just like to know what I'm going to make!
I only kept my summer and christmass bonus.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:15 | 3417166 grgy
grgy's picture

It's nice to even have a job! A bonus is, well, a bonus.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:44 | 3417240 walküre
walküre's picture

Summer and Christmas bonuses ????? Why the modesty? There are lots more seasons in a year and holidays too!


Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:21 | 3417313 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

well you're from America right?

Than there's also double paychecks during the summer and newyear, which adds up on the bonusses.

We get a standard 22 days of hollidays.
Than we get "ADV" days, which means if you work 8 hours a days, you get 12 additional hollidays which brings it to 34 days
and than there are the seniority days, which means that after 5 years, you get a extra day for every year you work. which brings it for me 38 days.

And people who are 55 years old can work partime for a full time wage minus 50 euro's and the state sponsors the rest as a incentive to keep working.
At my office, there's plenty of 60 and 65 year old workers who come in 2 days a week and collect a full wage.

I know... it's nuts... that's why most companies go bankrupt during the hollidays and that's why companies with high social costs are being sold.
My company was sold to a American company and after a few months, they figured that all out and where chocked... :)
and to fire somebody... well not that easy!!! :)
If my boss where to fire me, he has to pay me 6 years in wages and than I can still sue him to renegotiate for more money.
You practically get a house when you're fired :)

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:30 | 3417337 knukles
knukles's picture

Man, I wonder how your pets get treated!

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 01:50 | 3417926 Steaming_Wookie_Doo
Steaming_Wookie_Doo's picture

I'm surprised they're not contracting with Guido to "rub out" these expensive old layabouts. A "hit" is way cheaper than firing.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 22:51 | 3417759 yatikto
yatikto's picture

Independent contractors


Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:12 | 3417008 Beam Me Up Scotty
Beam Me Up Scotty's picture

I 2nd that!!

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:16 | 3417021 Tom Servo
Tom Servo's picture

My company started down this road in 2012 with targeted programs by quarter such as, 10k steps walking per day w/company paid for pedometer and the goal was 500k steps in the quarter.  2013 that stuff all went away for good, probably because 2013 is the last year we're going to be given employer paid health care.


What infuriates me about this is the flawed "BMI" measurement.  I'm a little vertically challenged, and my ideal weight is 140 lbs per the BMI.  I played div1 college soccer and even then i weighed 160 lbs and could run all day.  The BMI is for people with no muscle mass.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:14 | 3417162 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

I'm a fat bastard that hasn't called out sick in 5 years.  I play lacrosse and my lawnmower is push with no propulsion.  I'd really like to see the "science" behind fat people are the sick ones.  Because there a plenty of skinny, nutritionally challenged, sick fucks that are always calling in sick.

I don't see an issue with penalizing sick people but I have a big problem getting penalized for being fat even though I show up every day.  I will definitely be calling out sick then and getting in a round of golf, walking all the way.

Penalize for sick days and/or penalize based on prescriptions.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:37 | 3417222 SpiceMustFlow
SpiceMustFlow's picture

My company is (duh!) shifting previous employees to contractors and part wait for the state to realize how markets work, then institute a tax credit for those that keep their employees and pay the extra expenses, then the market will find another way to minimize cost, ad infinitum.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 20:12 | 3417425 TheProphet
TheProphet's picture

You have to be out of the ranges in three or more categories.

If your waist is bigger than 40 inches, that's pretty damn big.

And if you push your mower as you say you do, perhaps your bloodwork will be within the acceptable range, thus excluding you.

As for seeing the science, Jesus man, there is more than sufficient science and universal agreement that fat people tax the healthcare system far more than skinny ones do. It is because fat people eventually fall chronically ill far more frequently than skinny people do.

I agree with you about prescriptions. They are going after fat people because there is no strong discrimination retaliation play. But go after some woman's anti-depressants or Rx skin creams, and the world would come unglued.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 20:20 | 3417440 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

You forgot to mention Sandra Fluke's contraceptives. 

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 21:11 | 3417572 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

I question the sufficient science.  Everyone dies, everyone.  If a fat person dies, they mark it down as being fat.  Skinny people die and they end up in some categorization.  

For real life example, one recent day on Morning Blow, Mika said something like 160,000 people die every year from sugary drinks.  Now I ask you, did these people die while drinking a sugary drink, so the coroner writes down died of sugary drink?  Or were they fat bastards that may have drank sugary drinks in the past sothe coroner puts down, died from sugary drinks?

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:39 | 3417078 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

How do I unsee that picture?

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:46 | 3417091 toady
toady's picture

I found it disturbing as well...

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:17 | 3417308 The Second Rule
The Second Rule's picture

What's disturbing is that it's probably NOT photoshopped.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:33 | 3417336 akak
akak's picture

I would love to see a TSA agent do a pat-down on THAT!

The next time I travel overseas with gold, I'm going with that guy!

(But certainly not sitting next to him on the plane.)

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 16:25 | 3419271 Cap Matifou
Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:53 | 3417376 The Second Rule
The Second Rule's picture

Looks like a 3rd stage Guild Navigator from DUNE.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:00 | 3417127 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

You need to go back in time, way back....Do you like Mary Ann or Ginger?  I honestly didn't remember Mary Ann wore short shorts.  Maybe that's why I liked her as a kid.

Mary Ann of Gilligan's Island

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:40 | 3417084 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

I thought that picture was of my neighbor but its so hard to tell because the eyes are blacked out for anonymity.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:03 | 3417131 archon
archon's picture

How does that dude piss?

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:18 | 3417173 grgy
grgy's picture

He flops the gut on a table and then pisses into a bucket.  These people are very resourceful.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:39 | 3417230 SpiceMustFlow
SpiceMustFlow's picture

very carefully

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 10:39 | 3418284 IrritableBowels
IrritableBowels's picture

PISS?  How does it wipe it's ass?

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:14 | 3417297 prains
prains's picture

4 hours over rough terrain at 180 bpm in the dark carrying a child....and that image will still be burned into the back of the retina forever

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 22:27 | 3417712 Gold Dog
Gold Dog's picture

MY EYES!!!!!!!

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 22:45 | 3417748 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

Look at the bright side. You fat fuckers won't have as much to spend at the buffet now.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 05:47 | 3418049 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

That guy in the picture makes me look anorexic, I'm off for a Pizza.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 09:51 | 3418240 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

Kim is that you?

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:12 | 3417001 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

I'm sure the constant drumbeat to do more with less has nothing to do with stress and related symptoms among the survivors.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:01 | 3417274 Abrick
Abrick's picture

So long as you can blame it on stress, eat 2000 Cheetos a day, fuck your health and let your gut hang down to your knees.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:13 | 3417006 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Kim Jong with his Ninja's doesn't stand a chance against all those proud Americans... have another buger and a twinkie... that will help...
Thank god for drones..

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:18 | 3417030 H E D G E H O G
H E D G E H O G's picture

"Thank God for drones." +100.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:54 | 3417110 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

have another buger and a twinkie...

There are probably going to be buggers in the new Twinkies anyhow.  Then they can deep-fat fry them at the fair and claim the "protein" content -- more healthy, ya know.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:13 | 3417011 bank guy in Brussels
bank guy in Brussels's picture

Classic song by Root Boy Slim

« Dare to be FAT !

Fat is WHERE IT'S AT ! »

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:15 | 3417019 JackT
JackT's picture

Is that even possible? (thumbnail pict)


Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:18 | 3417028 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

if my dog would look like that, I'd put him down... with a baseball bat... and a chainsaw...

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:24 | 3417039 IndicaTive
IndicaTive's picture

I hope not. There isn't enough flour in the world...

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:12 | 3417149 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Is that even possible? (thumbnail pict)

That is a genetics issue,some serious surgery is in order for that human.

Also, wait till they try this on, and the races that are prone (by genetics) to be morbidly obese, and the  ACLU get hold of their ass.

PC is IN...............this is so UN PC, it will never fly.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:43 | 3417235 SpiceMustFlow
SpiceMustFlow's picture

bullfuckingshit that's genetic

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 22:48 | 3417754 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture's genetic. Their genes make them eat like fucking pigs. Choose pizza over salads. 

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:46 | 3417242 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

That cant occur in nature.  Darwins theory has not been working lately.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:35 | 3417347 akak
akak's picture

You've obviously never been to Samoa.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 20:30 | 3417469 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Darwin's theory never worked. That's why it stayed a theory.

Biological quirks and genetic defects can result in all sorts of abnormally shaped animals.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:15 | 3417020 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     Just let the liberals exterminate themselves.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:25 | 3417041 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

hahahaha! my god! just imagine they roll out a ramp to get you into a ambulance :)

Last time I was in New York, I asked the way to a cop...

first of all... the cop didn't know his own city and told me he didn't really got around the city... I asked him directions to a place 5 blocks away...

But what I was talking about is, I asked the way and said "Excuse me sir"..'
the cop was a round ball of fat...
So the cop looks at me and says: I'M A WOMAN!!!
very loud... I just couldn't see it. All that fat. she/he was round like a ball!!!
Why the fuck did she yell at me for?

And I always thought fat people where funny....

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:54 | 3417047 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 Don't tell Kito I up voted you. He might get jealous.[ retracted]  Kito is a 'knowledgeable' person.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:46 | 3417244 SpiceMustFlow
SpiceMustFlow's picture

Back in the day I got to study abroad in good ol' Nederland and was completely amazed by the cops...meaning they were truly peace officers...helpful, knowledgeable, and spoke better English than the vast majority of Americans. Basically information services with guns. All that is unless you were Turkish or Moroccan...

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:57 | 3417265 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     When I was 20, I knew it all. When I was 30, I knew less, When I was 40 it was off to the great race.> Into John corzines moat<

  Where is that Fucking parasite?

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:32 | 3417341 Parrotile
Parrotile's picture

"Professionalism with a distinct human edge".  Het Rijkspolitie are one of the best examples of Peel's original concept - "Policing with the consent of the People". Makes a welcome change from policing everywhere else in the Western World. doesn't it!

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 01:01 | 3417899 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Betcha she was black or Latina. Happened to me once.

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 09:48 | 3417992 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

Black, but in New York... you don't see that many white people actually... it's like they're all hiding or something.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:16 | 3417023 Jalibb
Jalibb's picture

Hey, that's a woman. Can I get a number?

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:17 | 3417027 smartstrike
smartstrike's picture

It kind of makes Obama look like a Libertarian compared to your average tax-dodging, offshore account holding Republican CEO.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:20 | 3417182 DosZap
DosZap's picture


It kind of makes Obama look like a Libertarian compared to your average tax-dodging, offshore account holding Republican CEO.

Dude WTH helll you jabbering about?., I always find it interesting that the GOP and it's members are SUPPOSEDLY the VERY wealthy fat cats.Check the stats in Congress, from top to bottom.,There are many more millionair Dems that Pubs.(FACT)

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:20 | 3417031 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

      Table Muscle Maximus/     That's what Obunga spending looks like!

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:19 | 3417032 seek
seek's picture

I think Tyler crossed the line with the pic for this story.

Universal antidote:


Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:28 | 3417035 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

 seek, Exit the kabuki theatre>

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 18:18 | 3417176 gould's fisker
gould&#039;s fisker's picture

Thanks for the eyebleach, it really works.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 19:06 | 3417283 buckethead
buckethead's picture

It really works!!!

Sun, 04/07/2013 - 01:19 | 3417907 Curt W
Curt W's picture

Thanks, that eye bleach really helped.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:21 | 3417034 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

When narcism is taxed by 100%, there wouldn't be any CEO's left.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:58 | 3417121 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

But what metric does one use to gauge narcissism?

Oh, yeah, you gotta be one to be one.  Tax them ALL.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 20:39 | 3417499 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

When lying is taxed by 100%, there will be no politicians left.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:23 | 3417037 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

It looks like Mayor Bloomberg will finally have his revenge. Too bad they can't also tax the fat in the military budget.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:27 | 3417046 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

If they could tax stupidity the coffers of the world governments would be overflowing.

Sat, 04/06/2013 - 17:27 | 3417049 22winmag
22winmag's picture

Fuck work. I haven't had a W-2 in over 10 years and I live pretty well.

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