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Francois Hollande's Gift Camel Killed And Eaten In Mali
When we said several months ago, that the French military incursion in Mali would have a hilarious, if sad ending, we didn't quite have this in mind but it will do. It turns out that after the French "liberation" of Mali, French president Francois Hollande, already the most unpopular president in French history and last week's Cahuizac tax-evasion affair hardly doing much to boost his popularity, was awarded a two-humped (there is some debate if it had one or two humps) camel as a present for driving away the "evil" Al Qaeda and various other "evil" extremists. Sadly for Hollande, and for animalistic symbolism as indicative of French foreign policy, said camel was just killed and "put in a stew". And it only goes downhill from here.
From The Telegraph:
The young two-humped animal, a gift to Mr Hollande for liberating Mali, has been killed and put in a stew, according to Jean-Yves Le Drian, France's defence minister.
Mr Le Drian was informed of the camel's demise by officers tracking Islamic terrorists in the former French West African colony and broke the news on to the Élysée Palace, according to Valeurs Actuelles magazine.
A local official had given the camel to Mr Hollande in gratitude for France spearheading a drive to flush out Islamic extremists from Mali. But the well-intentioned gift soon proved a liability.
The camel ruined its handover ceremony by drowning out a Malian official's speech with its screeching.
Mr Hollande's voice could just be heard over the din when he promised: "I will use it as a means of transport as often as possible."
With the animal covered in a cloak, there was also heated debate back in France over whether it had one hump or two.
Mr Hollande initially intended to have the camel vaccinated and transferred to a French zoo. But given the complex procedures required and "the rigours of the harsh French climate for a desert animal", he eventually decided to leave it in the care of a family in Timbuktu.
The camel had already embarrassed Mr Hollande when Said Toureg, a man from the Timbuktu region, claimed that it had been stolen from him after his house was destroyed in a French air raid.
Sigh.... Yes, so far it is a slow news day.
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Same should happen for the central banksters!
Soylent Banksta with your calimari, Sir?
Who got the toe?
ME!!!!!!!
Camel stew huh. I wonder if they use that delicious tomato/rosemary sort of sauce.
Might be tasty. You never know.
I wonder if they will stew Mrs T for tea
"left the camel in the care of a family in Timbuktu."
This would be Dr. Seuss' family, I assme?
They'd have gotten quite a premium on it if they could have sold it in Shanghai.
mr hollands opus
er, i mean soup
This camel has probably already entered the European food supply chain.
Camelsagna, mmm!
You can put it in a zoo.
You can put it in a stew.
And if the camel's getting old --
Forget the camel !
Take their gold !
I don't know, but I bet it's one big ass pot of stew.
Just for some context, there is an old Malian saying, "It's okay to put a gift camel in the mouth"
I was confused the first time I heard it, but now I think I understand.
Er..., make that one big camel pot of stew.
ah, what i dissapointment, i thought it was debbie "the joker" stabinow....just another manic monday...i guess
someone said they saw the toe truck driver obsconding with it........................
Could be worse. Could be Hollande stew..
Mmm, probably tastes like shit, er, chicken...
Bernank bisque ?
One hump or two ?
Do you want cous cous with that ?
No, no. Curry brown rice with pineapple.
Yeah, but would you walk a mile for that camel?
Would you walk a mile for a hump?
Apparently, the british can no longer tell the chinese two-humped bactrian camels from the arab one-humped dromedary - oh, how far those imperial times seem to be...
Most "Calimari" sold in restaurants is actually "immitation squid", a.k.a: pig rectum.
Cut into a ring and washed it's basically the same color and texture, then after (deep?) frying it no one can tell the difference in taste.
A few weeks back, the wife dragged me to one of these uppity "whole" food places down by Yale. It was late afternoon, cold and dark outside. Inside, overpriced Monsanto redux was being peddled to the unsuspecting IVY prof's and students. A motor vehicle accident nearby caused the power inside the store to flicker and go out momentarily. I happened to be standing in front of the frozen Asian shrimp. A strange glow was noticed in the brief darkness. I shit you not..
You didn't go to the right restaurant. I've had some decent food down in New Haven at some of the top student spots. Kind of a cool story though.
Just reminds me of going to any New York Yankees game. Outside you have the hood. Inside you have overpriced food and overpriced tickets. And then they sing america the beautiful. Outside the stadium, poverty, disgustingness. I feel embarassed going to Yankee games. How can anyone stand up for America the beautiful with such disgusting urban decay, RIGHT on your door step?
Siam Orchards in Branford is a nice change of pace. Have eaten there dozens of times in the past couple of years and have yet to suffer post-dinner acute diarrhea.
What’s for dinner?
Deep fried pork poop chute loops!
Plausible, and maybe tasty, but..
http://consumerist.com/2013/01/21/breaking-no-one-actually-sells-pig-rectums-as-imitation-calamari/
It happens a lot beause of a bacteria..
" marine bacteria can cause glowing or luminescence when they grow on seafood products – a trait that may be exacerbated by the adding of salt during processing."
We down here in New Orleans figure we need to add more beer to the consumer. :)
The pig thing isn't true but what is true is that 90% of "scallops" are actually shark meat cut into a little circle. Outside the US they sell scallops with the red thingy still attached...they're delicious.
Oh and 60% of "tuna" is actually escolar...a deep-sea diarehhea-producing bottom dweller
Hollande enjoys having more people riding in the wagon than pulling the wagon.
All well and good.
It's worth remembering, though, that the ever-shrinking group of "Wagon-Pullers" gets to choose where the wagon goes. They are pulling it, after all.
What if they choose a nice cliff? Good entertainment watching the riders fly into destiny.
Or what if times are really tough and the wagon gets pulled to the above-mentioned soylent green factory? The world's riders can really enjoy each other that way!
That's the trouble with riding instead of pulling. Always comfy, but you never really know where you're gonna end up.
Some statists are in the Republican Party.
Some statists are in the Democratic Party.
Some statists are in the Socialist, or the Communist Party.
All statists end up in the Donner Party.
Now this is a template for banksters although the stew would be shitty
Here is some news about France: The Fin Minister Moscovici, just cancelled the meeting he was supposed to have with Jacob Lew. He is probably too busy to make some bank transfers
TASTES LIKE CHICKEN!!!
Tastes like chicken, with the flu.
you're nothing but an anti-semite pig to suggest that we should kill and eat these fine jewish central bankers that do so much for the society by enslaving humanity with their judefetzen. go away you joo hater.
It was just supposed to be a haircut.
Hollande should be sent to North Korea!
the most succulent part is the camel toe
Some camel toes taste better than others...
I'd walk a mile to eat a camel !!!
Your showing your (old) age Hulk. :)
<So am I since I understood your reference.>
Yes I am !!! I even surprised myself by remembering that, advertising works !!!
"Taste Me! Taste Me!" I can't remember what brand used the slogan, however.
Screw that..too much work....let the camel walk to you.
Hey Doc, here's what us old fucks are talking about:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIxtnMfCURs
Can't we just smoke, er..., stew the camel here?
Tyler sounds bored. Not enough economic despair today?
Boring for you, but for us very serious.
This will not abide. Man!
Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.
Well, the French don't have a problem with eating horses... Just sayin'...
the real takewaway here is the fact that what is really important is whether the camel had one hump or two.....with all the shit happening and this is what society dwells on....and people think we can fix the economy...? fuck that............
One hump. It's north Africa.
Fucking champion, lets hope its the communists and marxists who ate hollande, with sauce of course.
Well, grannys in the bath. Little johny runs in and points between her legs and screams; 'Grandma! Whats that in between your legs?!'
Granny says, 'Thats where god hit me with his axe son'.
Johny says, 'Fuck me Grandma, he hit you right in the cunt'.
:-)
Camel Holland(ais)e?
Ah, the French. Nobody does existential irony like the French.
Steal a camel from one poor shmucky (sic) herder, turnaround offer it as a gift to his tribal lord in exchange for mineral rights. Then invade.
Ca, c'est la meme chose.
Reminds me Park,
My old man has never liked the French, I've been there many times and they have a beautifull country, the only problem is its full of French folk, and having said that I can still remember me grandad telling me the French were the only folk in WW2 who had 1 forward gear on the tanks and 6 reverse.
And not to pick on just the French, do you know the Italian Navy has gotten a full new fleet of glass bottomed boats? Its so they can see the Old Italian Navy.
Boom boom bitchez....
I actually like the French a lot. I like the Brits, Picts, Scots, Celts, Gauls, Saxons, and Angles, too. And the Pols, Prussians, Finns, Slavs, Nords, Bulgars, Estonians, Lats, etc.
Hell I even like the Turks. I know a Turk, and he's quite the likeable sort of man in an inimitable Turkish way!
Because I'm American, I also enjoy watching you guys duke it out all up and down the continent and across the seas and channels and straits, through the dales and valleys, and over the mountains and hills, because invariably, the Irish will get the shit end, and come over to New York City, namely Queens and the Bronx, and repopulate the area with low-cost highly-skilled English-speaking day laborers, which you can never have enough of. And then come the Pols, then the Greeks and Italians, and then the Germans, all bringing their especial mix of skills and economic desper-ation. Because if there is one thing our banks need, it's more depositors, and if it's one thing our factories and construction projects need, it's more highly-skilled English-speaking day laborers. The French won't come though, the French will be French and nothing else. It is very important for the French to be French.
Take me. I'm half-Italian, 3/8 Irish and 1/8 German, married to a 50/50 Ecuadorian-Columbian mestizo-European, and when my wife and I go out and eat, we prefer to eat French. I went to Paris once, I love the French. They were actually very accomodating (as long as I at least tried to speak French).
I love everyone mate, and I havent laughed as hard for ages. Cheers for that.
Me? I'm 100% me mothers, and I presume I am an old and proud variant of a 'Pit Yacker', and old Bedlingtonshire dying out breed.
And aye indeed, the French are a good lot, we all are mate, we only have to know one and other.
ITM96, it's strange to read about all these tribal rivalries in Europe, being from the USA our history is not yet long enough for truly geographic rivalry to take root. At the end of the day, honestly I hope humanity prevails in Europe, and I hope that men in the position of power remember that if your worst enemy produces edible food and fuckable daughters, you should see his virtue, and seek to trade rather than be aggressive.
The wrong animal was stewed.
<Just sayin'>
Wow! They ate the camel. Talk about fast food.
What do you call a Taliban with 6 camels?
A pimp.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oShTJ90fC34
What are you sayin' here?!? That two humps on the camel is a long term relationship?
Are people starting to get bored with paying 29 times earning for consumer staples like Hershey? Surely there must be a greater fool who will pay more?
IT WASN'T A CAMEL!!!
IT WAS A PIG WITH TO HUMPS!!!
on the other hand... shit like this happens...
OBAMA GAVE HOLLANDE A BALD EAGLE!
and his wife mad COQ AU VIN with it...
hope it didn't end up halal
(watcha hard core version)
http://www.propagandes.info/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/11.jpg
more here:
http://www.propagandes.info/blog/abattage-rituel-et-sacrifices-sanglants-par-korreos/
JUMMY JUMMMY JUMMY I GOT CAMEL IN MY TUMMY!
I'm struggling to understand the difference between this and factory processing facilities. Dead animal flesh is the end product either way. Does it offend your sensibilities to see the actual act of animal slaughter? If you're not man enough to kill an animal, you're probably not man enough to eat them.
Ah, Panafrican Funk, you have to understand Islamic culture to understand all of this. In the words of the late, demented and unlamented Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini,
"A man can have sex with sheep, cows and camels and so on. However, he should kill the animal after he has his orgasm. He should not sell the meat to the people in his own village; however, selling the meat to the next door village should be fine."
The question is not whether it was "factory-processed", but what other "process" did it receive before becoming "stew"? (BTW, I wouldn't eat the clam chowder either, if you know what I mean.)
Same applies to small boys, BTW
You would think the French would have that humping thing down to a fine art.
camel, taste like chicken except the toe taste like tuna
because the millage it has...
Cammibals.
A woman is worth twenty goats, Hollande isn't even worth one camel.
As they say, don't look a gift camel in the mouth (or they'll spit at you). I'm surprised no one's mentioned the famous ancient Armenian stewed camel recipe: 1 3/4 lb. of partially stewed meat is moistened with vinegar, wrapped in deerskin and buried under a eucalyptus tree for several fortnights. Often served over rice.
Tyler goes Onion and he doesn't even have to make it up, go figure.....
yummy, Camel a la Hollandaise............
"The camel had already embarrassed Mr Hollande when Said Toureg, a man from the Timbuktu region, claimed that it had been stolen from him after his house was destroyed in a French air raid."
You can't make this shit up!
So they ate the famed "ship of the desert", full of Arab semen.
.
Camesl with two humps live in Asia, so the camel Hollande got was and Arabian camel which has only one hump...
:P
Sarkozy was more unpopular than Hollande.
Damn dudes!
OK, I get that you're pissed at the dude, but killing his camel? Then EATING it?
That's pretty harsh dudes...
Give the good people of Mali some credit dude. At least they didn't kill Hollande and put 'him' in a stew. They could have been far more harsh than just to eat his camel if they really wanted to be barbaric about it. It was just their gentle way of saying "don't set foot in this country again asshole".
That, or those Mali dudes were pretty damn hungry!
When I was in Peace Corps in Chad I occasionally used a camel to get around. It was a breed called a 'Kanembou war camel' - two humps, 18 hands high, and the worst breath you can possibly imagine. And those teeth! Whenever one of those beasts sensed a new rider on their back, someone they didn't recognize, they would wait until they sensed you were turning to look at something and that huge head would come swinging around like a snake as the thing tried to take a chunk out of your leg. What you had to do was to have a big club in your hand and then kind of twist around so the camel thought you were looking away and then when the head came around - whack! After a few good whacks the behavior stopped, except for the occasional twitch of the ears when you knew that he was thinking of having another go at you. All I can say about camel stew is that you would have to be extremely hungry.
I've done some work in Mauritania - I can second that opinon on the stew, and can only add that besides being extremely hungry, your options are also usually extremely limited.
Ahmed: Oh my Allah, I thought the saying was "Never cook a gift camel in the South".
That camel is lucky.
Had they given it to Clinton first thing he would have done is had all it's teeth removed. ;)
Camels have inch long fighting teeth and weigh 400kg really you don't want to get on their bad side.
http://cdn.backyardchickens.com/7/76/500x1000px-LL-7625a3c2_da2o8.png
http://www.skullsunlimited.com/userfiles/image/variants_large_4237.jpg
css1971 - you're right about those teeth. The really nasty thing about them - other than they are protruding from what is undoubtedly the filthiest mouth in the (animal) world - is that they point outward, not up and down, so if a camel gets his teeth into you he doesn't just take a nice bite - he rips out a big chunk. I have seen a few camel bites and they resemble the bite of a Great White more than anything else. Still, they are remarkable animals. A Kanembou war camel can cover 200 miles in a night easily, and they can live forever without food or water. But in a stew - I just don't think so.
When I read that story, I kept hearing the Benny Hill music in the back ground.
"The camel ruined its handover ceremony by drowning out a Malian official's speech with its screeching"
The camel was justifiably horrified, because he knew what was coming. For him and Mali and then France, even if Hollande remains clueless.
And for those of you who care nothing for the camel's suffering, remember, first they came for the camels......
Last Tuesday, after four agonizing months, Cahuzac finally admitted that he had betrayed the country. Despite having solemnly assured French parliament last December that "I do not have, and have never had, a foreign bank account, not now, not previously," he has in fact had one for the past 20 years. Cahuzac's account was held in Switzerland until 2010 before he moved it to Singapore. It recently had a balance of €600,000 ($775,000). Over the weekend, allegations arose that he had used a falsified tax document to show that he had paid French taxes on the money.
Eleven months after taking office, Hollande already appears to be on his knees politically. On the Thursday before Easter, only a few days before Cahuzac's declaration of guilt, Hollande went on television for 75 minutes and attempted to respond to questions about why key economic figures have worsened during his tenure in office. He didn't have any good answers. The latest polls of Hollande's popularity -- published last week in Le Figaro Magazine, and three days before Cahuzac's confession -- revealed historically miserable ratings.
That crisis of confidence deepened on Thursday when the international journalist project "Offshore Leaks" brought the name Jean-Jacques Augier to light.
Augier is an old friend and adviser of Hollande who, like the president, graduated as a member of the same "Voltaire" class at the elite École Nationale d'Administration (ENA), and he was the treasurer of his election campaign. He is also reportedly a shareholder in two shell companies based on the Cayman Islands. This alone has exposed him to suspicions of engaging in unsavory business practices, according to Le Monde. Augier responded immediately and rejected all allegations of illegal activities.
The fact that the office of president is endowed with virtually absolutist power has given rise to a political establishment that looks to the Elysée Palace the way the royal court once looked to the crown. Every moderately dedicated mayor must endeavor at all times to maintain direct ties to the presidential office, because it is really only there that decisions are made. Projects of every type and size -- in the regions, the départements and the provincial cities -- are rarely approved during the course of clear, transparent administrative processes, but rather at informal Parisian dinner parties marked by a spirit of nepotism. This is no stereotype, but rather France's constitutional reality.
http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/corruption-scandal-puts-holla...
like I said, the only form of Government is an "undercover" absolutist Monarchy,
and money is absolute power and absolut power has the rule of law...
call it socialist, communist, constitutional Monarchy...whatever...
dreams of freedom, equality and justice remains illusive utopia...
the only revolution there ever was is individual change.
You have to free yourself first, before you can free someone else,
and there are many roads to hell that were paved by good intentions.
Knowledge is the greatest revolution and all war and violence is futile.
but knowledge can't be taught. It can only be lived and experienced.
wr;)
lol
Thank god, now we can declare war! We haven't had a war for at least two weeks!...
"With the animal covered in a cloak..."
Is that some kind of sharia law bullshit. All women must be covered, all camels must be covered, all dirt must be covered, the sun must be covered.
Wasn't like they gave the guy a dirt bike or something. Can't really ride a wheelie on a camel.