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JCPenney CEO Ron Johnson Is Out

Tyler Durden's picture


So much for the "transformational" CEO, poached from AAPL and credited with creating the AAPL retail mystique. As per CNBC, he now effectively "out":

  • J.C. Penney names Myron E. (Mike) Ullman III CEO, succeeding Ron Johnson

At least he lasted just a bit longer than the former JCP president Mike Francis, who came, saw, collected $10 million, and quit nine months later.

Why the stock is soaring after hours on this latest admission of defeat is beyond us. If anything, this means JCP is closer to filing than ever as the last bastion of hope at the distressed retailer is now gone.  Update: -7% now.

Full press release:

The Board of Directors of J.C. Penney Company, Inc. [NYSE: JCP], today announced that Myron E. (Mike) Ullman, III has rejoined the Company as  Chief Executive Officer, effective immediately.  He has also been elected to the Board of Directors.  Mr. Ullman is a highly accomplished retail industry executive, who served as CEO of jcpenney until late 2011.  He succeeds Ron Johnson, who is stepping down and leaving the Company.


Thomas Engibous, Chairman of the Company’s Board of Directors, said, “We are fortunate to have someone with Mike’s proven experience and leadership abilities to take the reins at the Company at this important time.  He is well-positioned to quickly analyze the situation jcpenney faces and take steps to improve the Company’s performance.”


Mr. Ullman added, “While jcpenney has faced a difficult period, its legacy as a leader in American retailing is an asset that can be built upon and leveraged.  To that end, my plan is to immediately engage with the Company’s customers, team members, vendors, and shareholders, to understand their needs, views, and insights.  With that knowledge, I will work with the leadership team and the Board to develop and clearly articulate a game plan to establish a foundation for future success.”


Mr. Engibous added, “On behalf of the Board of Directors, we would like to thank Ron Johnson for his contributions while at jcpenney and wish him the best in his future endeavors.”


About Myron E. (Mike) Ullman, III


Mike Ullman is a veteran retail industry executive with more than 25 years of experience who has served in leadership roles at several of the world’s best-known retail companies.  Prior to spending seven years leading jcpenney, as Chairman and CEO through November 2011 and Executive Chairman through January 2012, he served as Directeur General of the world’s largest luxury group, LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton, in Paris; Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of DFS Group Limited, the world’s leading travel retailer; and Chairman and Chief Executive Officer of R.H. Macy & Co., Inc. Mr. Ullman’s prior retail experience also includes leading Wharf Holdings Ltd. in Hong Kong and posts at Federated Department Stores earlier in his career. In addition, he previously served as a White House Fellow in the Reagan Administration, Vice President of Business Affairs at the University of Cincinnati, and as an International Account Manager for IBM Corporation.


Mr. Ullman currently serves on the boards of directors of Starbucks Corporation (NASDAQ: SBUX), Saks Incorporated (NYSE: SKS), and the COFRA Group headquartered in Zug, Switzerland, and as Deputy Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank of Dallas. He is an advisor to the board of directors of the Retail Industry Leaders Association and is a past Chairman of the National Retail Federation. He is also Chairman of the Board of Mercy Ships International, a global medical and human services charity. He previously served as a director of Ralph Lauren Corporation; Taubman Centers, Inc.; LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton; Federated Department Stores; and Segway, LLC.

Shame for Ron really: -51% since his official start date.


and the instant market reaction (always efficient)...


And here is Bill Ackman explaining to CNBC and anyone else listening just what the magic plan was to reincarnate the dying brand. Oh well, time for Plan B.


Finally, here is the presentation in which the same Ackman above bashes the same Ullman who just regained the reigns of the foundering retailer:


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Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:09 | 3423718 notbot
notbot's picture

no surprise.  Ackman all but threw him under the bus in that Reuters interview.  

Of course, no mention of the fact that HE was the one who ostensibly signed off on RJ's strategy in the first place.

Fall guy. Last I checked, Ackman was on the board, no?

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:11 | 3423742 Buckaroo Banzai
Buckaroo Banzai's picture

A stupid, stupid hire. How the fuck are Apple stores even remotely like department stores??

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:12 | 3423753 notbot
notbot's picture

Sucks when a stock rockets after your ouster hits the tape

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:21 | 3423791 camaro68ss
camaro68ss's picture

I bet the fucker quit the next day his bonus was deposited in his account

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:26 | 3423811 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

I've asked this question before, and I'll ask it again.

How many CEO's bonuses do we need to "claw back" to fund the debt? 

The answer is somwhere between 100 & 200.

Seem like a simple solution to me.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:27 | 3423820 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Start with all the CEOs in the Senate, House and White House.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:37 | 3423852 Aguadulce
Aguadulce's picture

Does Bill also think that ousting CEOs is un-American, just like shorting stocks?

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:22 | 3423995 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

JCP is awesome.  I am in JCP almost every weekday but have bought very little there.  Actually, I've bought nothing there.  I like them because they provide good access to 32nd Street when transferring from the M train to Penn Station.  In the winter, I like them even more.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 19:30 | 3424209 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

If Ron Johnson ran the MTA, you'd enter the station and then, dig it, go into a station within the station.  

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 19:37 | 3424225 Fedaykinx
Fedaykinx's picture

i lol'd

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:58 | 3424679 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Silver, I love JCP too but for a different reason. I cut through on my way to work or a date and spritz on some FREE cologne so I smell very nice and maybe even "get some."


Don't forget, I'm a Cheap Bastard!

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:22 | 3423984 smlbizman
smlbizman's picture

i bet you george fells sorry for ricky and will get off his throat now......


edit... looks like ( hands on hips) im ACK Man is like most investors,...cant stand to sell at a loss, would rather lose much more first...

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:41 | 3423862 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture


Their salary is NOT affected by the sequester.

They are IMUNE to insider trading rules.

But its OK, because the Merican public can still watch Dancing with the Fools.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:54 | 3423926 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

yeah, lets take all private capital away from all private businesses and give it to washington

Right, homie?

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:07 | 3423942 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

I think you may have misread the comment. Just an opinion. Perhaps I misread it.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:09 | 3423947 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

LVD is just Sheldon's personal hand-puppet- he knows not what he says

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 19:50 | 3424279 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

20 billion net worth for that yid.

he pays guys like you to clean toilets in his casinos


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 20:45 | 3424499 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

You're right.  LVD is his hand-puppet - and you oughta see what he does with his hands.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:45 | 3424634 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

I'd choke down a bullet before I lifted a finger to do anything for that hebe.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:20 | 3423979 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

"Tango Down" for you LVD!

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 19:51 | 3424287 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

Nigga, Please

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:42 | 3423873 88888
88888's picture

haha ya, and told them there is no hope. They should just liquidate while they can

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:21 | 3423795 ZerOhead
ZerOhead's picture

Actually it has been rumored that Johnson put on a $50 million short prior to taking over at JCP.

As long as he closed it out in time he'll be just fine...

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:14 | 3423761 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:31 | 3423831 icanhasbailout
icanhasbailout's picture

Customers are dumbasses in both cases?

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:56 | 3423936 astoriajoe
astoriajoe's picture

Both are generally big boxes, with some portion above ground, while other parts are below ground...

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 19:05 | 3424132 Watchingtheweasels
Watchingtheweasels's picture

They're not.  But you're missing the prime qualifications to be hired as a CEO:  (1)5'10" or taller, (2) Look good in a suit/dress, (3) Live in the right places, (4) Play golf at the right places, (5) Have friends on the board, (6) Know money people.  Actually understanding the business you are trying to run from the ground up?  Not so much.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:35 | 3424606 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

"How the fuck are Apple stores even remotely like department stores?"

Both are chock full of morons.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 03:22 | 3425281 newworldorder
newworldorder's picture

The ego of corporate executives and board members to hire someone from a highflying, storied company is the primary driver.Penney could have hired any executive from any othr retail company, but went with someone with a name presence.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 22:18 | 3424743 Larry Dallas
Larry Dallas's picture

Someone from Apple may have been seen as a flyer. But I agree, Apple and JCP are like mixing silk and polyester, respectively.


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:10 | 3423749 negative rates
negative rates's picture

Drug test?, me, see ya later alligator.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:12 | 3423752 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

Sounds like a job for Simon Black.  Oh, wait, he's been there and done that already, I'm sure.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:45 | 3423883 Slartebartfast
Slartebartfast's picture

But he is such a handsome man!  With that JFK smile and all.  How could he fail?  I bet he can work a cocktail party like nobodies business too.

Oh well.  Time to bring in a short, fat bald guy that has some actual experience.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:13 | 3423960 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

They booted him one year too late.

Ackman and the rest of the board should be fired too.

Put actual employees from JCPenney on the board, not a bunch of MBA sliver spoon "pee-in-the-stairwell at Versailles need to lose their head" socialites.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:11 | 3423720 Spider
Spider's picture

Hmm JCP up 10% after hours - sure because the problem with this company was related to the CEO.  Plunging consumer incomes had nothing to do with it...

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:20 | 3423790 Vashta Nerada
Vashta Nerada's picture

I believe Johnson's tactics actually drove JCP's traditional customers away.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:08 | 3423721 Vashta Nerada
Vashta Nerada's picture

The LGBT community will be devastated.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:09 | 3423727 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

But the CEO is officially out...

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:09 | 3423737 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:10 | 3423745 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

And take that brick and mortar with you!

OT - ManU got spanked by City this evening, 2-1.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:18 | 3423784 imaginalis
imaginalis's picture

Only 12 points behind now with 7 games to play

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:24 | 3423803 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

It's gonna be VERY tough for City to pull it out.  City definitely deserved to win this evening.  I'd like City to get a little closer to ManU just to make it somewhat interesting; else, the battles of teams avoiding relegation will be more exciting.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 20:46 | 3424497 imaginalis
imaginalis's picture

Third and fourth spot battle is on too.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:13 | 3423756 CaptainSpaulding
CaptainSpaulding's picture

I bought some Haggar pants there last week. No issues. Nice clean store.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:25 | 3423807 ncdirtdigger
ncdirtdigger's picture

 I love those SansABelts!

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:26 | 3423810 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

My local Penney's looks like it hasn't been updated since 1982. The carpet is stained, there are literally holes in the walls, there are about five places to check out and one person (either a college kid or a woman in her 60s) for all of them.

It's what I imagine a Penney's in Kazakhstan would look like.

It's still a few steps above the K-Mart in town, though, where I actually had to brush a layer of fucking dust off a bag of candy a few years ago. Haven't been back since because it was too depressing.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:31 | 3423827 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I think even brand new K-Marts look like that.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:30 | 3423833 CaptainSpaulding
CaptainSpaulding's picture

Im not saying the store was spotless, But it was clean and organized enough for me to find my stuff and leave pretty quickly. Overall, A decent store.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:45 | 3423893 Slartebartfast
Slartebartfast's picture

Third World Reatail bitchez!

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:47 | 3423894 Slartebartfast
Slartebartfast's picture

Third World Retail bitchez!

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:50 | 3423910 Freddie
Freddie's picture

KMart was run off a cliff by Joe Antonini or whateevr his name was.  They never reinvested in technology or store updates.  They would run stores for 30 or 40 years without any updates!  Target guts their stores about every 8 years but will see if that holds with Hope & Change.

JCP and KMart should have negoitiated something with the landlords unless they owned the properties. 

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 22:05 | 3424704 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

Molotov, you need to visit a Sears...then you'd think jcp is more like a Nordstroms.

We have several Sears within driving distance...all of them so depressing my Dad doubles his Prozac and laces it with lithium before he goes in one of those Sears for a new Kenmore or tool and such.

Sad to see these stores ruined; what can these guys be thinking? Is the BoD completely useless?

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:14 | 3423758 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

jcp got corzined bitchez

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:17 | 3423775 Motorhead
Motorhead's picture

And that CEO's job got vaporized.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:55 | 3423933 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

only AFTER he corzined millions.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:13 | 3423762 BlueStreet
BlueStreet's picture

Lampert is probably thinking right about now, 'you mean he's available?'





Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:09 | 3424553 shutterman
shutterman's picture

That is the funniest thing on this board

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:20 | 3424554 shutterman
shutterman's picture

how in the f#$k do you delete a double entry comment?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 06:51 | 3425428 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Send me a 1Toz Gold Maple Leaf and the answer will be on its way...

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:17 | 3423779 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

So I'm confused... Is it 'cool' to be gay or not?

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:18 | 3423780 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

Did they pay him $40M to GTFO like HP paid that failure Apotheker?

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:20 | 3423787 El Diablo Rojo
El Diablo Rojo's picture

God Damn it. Where am I going to buy my underwear. Father's day sale every year. First Mervyns and now Penny's. I will not suffer through Hanes products either.


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:26 | 3423815 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

One word: commando.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:30 | 3423835 darteaus
darteaus's picture

Same as last year: Frederick's of Hollywood.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 19:38 | 3424229 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I just got converted to Costco 4-packs.  And let me tell you, if they made a 1000 pack, I'd buy it.

BTW Costco zigs when the JCPs and Walmarts of the world zag.  Watch out for those guys.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:22 | 3423788 Maos Dog
Maos Dog's picture

Waiting for a real retail expert to step in here and offer an opionion, but I say JCP's retail model is dead, dead, dead.

You can put tbe best captial on a sinking ship, but the ship is still going down...

Not to imply that Johnson was any good to begin with.


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:40 | 3423855 Freddie
Freddie's picture

No expert but anyone who knows retail knows a good "merchant" who can run a dept store.  They usually have this look like they are preppy, waspy or gay.  Retail is a lot about exec image.  As long as you look nice in a suit is all that matters.  JCP had Allen Questrom, before Johnson, who had a pretty good reputation but he failed.

Hope & Change has been devastating to retail along with Amazon, Overstock, etc.  Who the ***k is buying work clothes, bedding and other housing stuff when they do not have a job.  Penney's was targeted to the middle class and Hope and Change has devastated the Middle Class.  In retail, you can make it on the low end and high end but the middle is hard.   Target has done a great job.   Wal Mart would be getting killed if it wasn't for EBT/SNAP aka food stamps and welfare. 

Penney's never had any decent men's buttondown cotton dress shirts.  Their costs were high and the list goes on and on.  Trying to appeal to the gay crowd was another dumb move as Penney's was a middle America store.



Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:04 | 3424543 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

Freddie, I don't agree with you on some things, but you nailed it with the men's buttondown cotton dress shirts.  Finding them at Penney's has been completely random, and you either get the cheap fabric with the texture of a 3M green scrubbie, or it's $45.  I'm sorry, what the fuck is so difficult about a $20 men's buttondown cotton shirt?  Has it changed since, oh I don't know, the invention of the internal combustion engine?  But just try to find one two trips in a row at JCP, I defy you.  That right there is enough reason for them to fail.  I buy clothes at most twice a year, need 'em or not, and spend a total of an hour doing it.  Wiilling to pay OK money in the process.  Is that so wrong?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 00:18 | 3425117 Freddie
Freddie's picture

$20 bucks for a decent buttondown dress shirt is harder now as BErnake has destroyed the dollar.  Target had some decent Meronas or something.  The problem is the sizes there are limited.  JCP was totally Eff'ed up.  Polyester blends with cotton and other shit dress shirts. 

I like the modern better golf polyester shirts which are incredible because they breath so much that you almost don't feel them plus no pilling.  Anything else polyester is shit.  The picture of Johnson shows a nice tie.  He and Questrom had good taste in ties.  You won't find those at JCP stores though.

I cut way back on everything thanks to hope and change.  Discretionary purchases would be ammo except I lost my guns and gold in a boating accident.  Also ammo is impossible to find. 

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:28 | 3424015 11b40
11b40's picture

Don't really know if I qualify as an expert, but spent 8 years on the retail side before switching to the sales side 35 years ago and have been selling major retail accouts since then.

My very first reaction upon learning a little about Ron Johnson's grand plans tof JCP was that this will not way, no how.

JCP may as well be in another universe from Apple Stores, and just how "interesting" or "exciting" can you make a visit to a mall department store?  

When you start with a crooked foundation, you just build on to problems.  Driving traffic to any retail store gets tougher all the time, and the typical JCP shopper is not terribly discriminating.  Here is what they respond to: SALE!  50-70% OFF!  They DO NOT respond to everyday value prices.  After all, what's the rush?  You don't get many points for your vignettes or flor plans, either.

A senior executive at the largest privately owned Department Store chain in America told me something about 15 years ago that stuck with me, and has been proven to me time and again - he said "our customers want us to lie to them."  I was complaining about their margin strategy.  They take a 4X mark-on for regular price, then put the product on sale for 30-60% off, depending on the event.  He, unlike Mr. Johnson, grew up in the retail business and lives it every day.  Deep discounts bring warm bodies through the door.  The JCP plan was a strategic disaster, and most in the trade knew it.


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:38 | 3424048 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

He wanted shoppers to pay higher margins on their purchases.  Have everything 40% off all the time.  Unfortunately, the consumer wants their sales and coupons.  They want their 50, 60, 70% off sales. Taking away sales and coupons during this recession/depression was as stupid as you can get.  He didn't even bother testing it on a small scale.  What arrogance. Sales data after 3 months should have told him it was a disaster.  Things kept on getting worse and worse.  Why they waited so long to fire him is a mystery.  Total incompetence at JCP.   

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 20:19 | 3424381 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

The guy was used to selling products that sold themselves. Too bad, gotta work it in retail to make a living.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:44 | 3424630 DeathandTaxes
DeathandTaxes's picture

Looks like they are already  bringing back the coupons. I got two today with a 20% off total purchase good through 4/17 . I thought it seemed desperate to get two emailed in the same day but now I can see why.


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 19:42 | 3424251 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

He is right customers wants to think they are getting a bargain. It reinforces their idea of "saving" money by getting a deal. Kohl's does this all the time. The old people (about the only ones left with money to burn) eat that shit up hook line and sinker.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 20:17 | 3424374 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

Ask for twice as much as what you need to turn a profit, then "negotiate" to 40% off. Yes, it's that easy and people fall for it every time.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:45 | 3424631 kareninca
kareninca's picture

I'm not a retail expert, but my mom and her friends shop at JCP.  Ladies in their 60s, 70s, 80s.  You know, they actually have some money, unlike a lot of other demographics.  Not a ton  -  although some of them have a ton  -  but enough to shop regularly.  And they LIKE to shop regularly.

And, they love sales.  They love coupons, they love deals, they love flyers, bright colors, stuff for grandkids.  And they are loyal to old time stores like JCP.

This jerk just had total comtempt for his customer base, and what they like.  No coupons, no sales, no excitement.  And he demonstrated his contempt, in a big time way, and my mom's friends noticed, I can assure you.  What a creep.  There are going to be a lot of retail jobs lost that actually didn't need to be, because of him.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:22 | 3423793 maskone909
maskone909's picture



its like watching the loal TV news.  same story every channel.  the media must get paid to discuss


APPL, GOOG, JCP, commercial break......  Marc Faber (media pundits laugh at him), Pump the s&p and dow (ALL NEW TIME HIGHS! FUCK YOU), Interview with Carl Ichan- he acts like a senile old asshole-mocks anchor-anchor bends over and takes it(because its carl ichan), Commercial break--Hoverround takes me where i wanna go!.....  LIFE ALERT....... Find gods match for you at christian mingle


ALL FUCKIN DAY over and over again!!!

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:28 | 3423808 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Well ~ at least we can be assured that no jews are involved in any MSM in any way... So you must direct your focus elsewhere...


I'm thinking those scheming Icelandic Hindi's might be part of this...

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:31 | 3423828 maskone909
maskone909's picture

nail on the fuckin head my friend.

wool over the eyes

japans currency is going down in flames but

there is now a threat of a shortage of cardigans because JCP retail blah blah fuck me


oh well atleast im making some fuckin money today, finally

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:31 | 3423829 darteaus
darteaus's picture

"Hmmm.  Nurse, up Mask's medication.  And no more bath salts for him."

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:22 | 3423794 toady
toady's picture

Retail, brick n' morter = death

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:22 | 3423796 Jumbotron
Jumbotron's picture

Yeah...well....the customers beat him to the door.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:23 | 3423797 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

JCP should switch over to selling nothing but ammo

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:23 | 3423804 Agent P
Agent P's picture


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:26 | 3423814 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

@otto (+1) LOL


If they hired me to do the job... I'd change the company name to 'PRE 1983 Pennys'... & take it 4 a spin...

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 20:20 | 3424384 post turtle saver
post turtle saver's picture

Penny's Classic

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:32 | 3423818 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

good one. all of those little asian kids that make JCP's clothing could easily make the transition to hand loading rounds. ted nugent could be their new spokesman- kind of the complete opposite of the fag/ dyke current ad campaign

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:31 | 3423837 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

United Colors of Bennetton mag stuffers...

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:37 | 3423854 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

UCofB used to have a fucking awesome F1 race team in the 80s

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:42 | 3423875 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Yup.  Schumacher and the team were so good that they could still win running a Ford Cosworth V8 while the others were running V10s.  

JCP could probably do more business and get more customers if they only sold .22 LR and 9 mm.  Lord knows they could not find any .223.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:13 | 3423958 otto skorzeny
otto skorzeny's picture

turbos w/ pop-off valves- when F1 was the greatest

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:31 | 3424008 Precious
Precious's picture


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:35 | 3424036 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Nowadays ~ F1 = glorified braking...

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:35 | 3424038 11b40
11b40's picture

The post I was responding to disappeared!

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:34 | 3423800 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Reporter: "Mr. Johnson, you just got fired and the stock is surging on the news, why are you smiling?"

Mr. Johnson: "Because I'm fucking rich, that's why."

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:52 | 3424085 Say What Again
Say What Again's picture

Mr. Johnson: "Because I'm fucking rich -- and I don't have to work anymore, that's why."

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:40 | 3424618 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:23 | 3423801 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Another retailer bites the dust. How long before Sears follows suit?

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:30 | 3423826 tsx500
tsx500's picture

probably about 10 minutes after I get long it !

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 19:03 | 3424125 scam_MERS
scam_MERS's picture

Sears has already bit the dust, they just refuse to recognize it (yet). Sears/Kmart is hands down the worst retail operation in the US, possibly worse than JCP. In my area, there's a Sears "Grand" (talk about a misnomer) that's a ghost town, except on Black Friday. Even then, it's slower than all the other stores in town. Finding anything in that dump is an exercise in futility, as is finding anyone to help you. If you do get lucky enough to find what you were looking for, good luck finding a cashier to check you out. The few times I've had the misfortune of being in their store (wife made me go), there was no more than one (!) checkstand open, and invariably there is a problem going on as we approach. "Price Check", I hear the dreaded words and want to drop whatever we have and run for the exits. In fact, we have done this on occasion, because the wait time to check out is beyond extreme, and the cashier couldn't give a hoot, nor does the management. Your time is not valuable to them, as they have proven, and I guess they feel this way because their time is also not valuable.

Let them crash, burn, and die. There's no hope for SHLD, and I don't believe changing management would make any difference at this point. Their brand is tired, very "last-century" just as is JCP's brand. I would only like to see the Craftsman brand survive, if only so I can replace my tools as they wear out or break. Perhaps Target or Walmart can pick up the legacy brand cheap when Sears goes tits-up. We can only hope!

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:28 | 3423819 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

-51% since his official start date...

He should definitely get a share of the value he created for JCP shareholders. At least in the old days these turnaround guys actually turned things around, even if it was only for a few months.


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:30 | 3423832 yogibear
yogibear's picture

This guy should have been kicked out the door a couple of years ago. It's a little late!.

No IPods for you Ron The Johnson! 

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:43 | 3423871 adr
adr's picture

I love market, sorry algo, reactions today.

Filing for bankruptcy?


Ousting a CEO?


Beating EPS that was guided lower two days before earnings and missing revenue?




Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:47 | 3423891 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

It's down greater than 6% according to my sources....




cocksucka walks with 20MM!!!


how much consitutes someone really speaking up theft?

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:50 | 3423909 PUD
Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:12 | 3424562 El Hosel
El Hosel's picture

..... Freeze Dry and laquer works ok, it takes lots of patience and time.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 17:50 | 3423913 orangedrinkandchips
orangedrinkandchips's picture

Jaque Penney is TANKING AH.......


Hedgefunds trying to prop it up to soften the blow.....



Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:06 | 3423940 adr
adr's picture

The problem with the JC Penney turnaround plan was the mall within a mall concept doesn't really make sense if 75% of the store is geared to selling products nobody wants.

It is like they are trying to replicate the success of the first ten feet of the Target women's section across an entire store. If your buyers guess wrong on a style, you'll take the entire store down with you. The department store was a successful model because they literally didn't put all of their eggs in one basket. JCP can't be Apple where they really did put all of their eggs in one basket. In fact Apple tries to only have one egg with no need for a basket.

The new JCP furniture store is actually pretty good, but you have to like 1960s style furniture. They are trying to go for a post modern vibe and it works in some cases. Kind of like IKEA crossed with Crate and Barrel. The problem is they can't sell the cachet of Crate and Barrel or match the pricing of IKEA. They are also going to create an entire shop of Bodum kitchen appliances. The problem is there is nothing left for you to buy if you don't like Bodum.

The IZOD collection might appeal to 1% of the male shoppers that walk in JCP. They gutted the Claiborne line and replaced it with JCP brand clothing that is worse quality than a $10 George shirt from Walmart.

The real problem is that Ron Johnson believed that he could force products on people and make them buy them. Don't like the iPhone, well you're going to buy one anyway because you don't want to be a loser, and you'll be called a loser if you don't buy it. At JCP we don't need sales because you'll want to buy the product even if it isn't on sale.

JCP is dead in the water now because they are halfway through the transition plan. They can't go back and most likely will not have the cash to complete the store renovation plan. Who knows though, when Wall Street is involved nothing makes sense. Bankruptcy, and talk of "turnarounds" can goose a stock to 52 week highs in no time at all.

Look at Blackberry. Absolutely dead in the water, yet the stock went on a tear.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:26 | 3424006 Precious
Precious's picture


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:31 | 3424021 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

He should have been fired 6 months ago.  Ron Johnson was as good a CEO as Yoko Ono was at singing.  I feel sorry for all the J.C. Penney employees that got fired because of this idiot and his stupid retail vision.  I think it's probably too late to fix all the damage that was done to the J.C Penney brand.  JCP is probably in a death spiral.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:46 | 3424645 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture


They've been circling the bowl since I was in the 80s.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:40 | 3424053 Rustysilver
Rustysilver's picture

I was in JCP about 12 years ago. Have not been there since.

However, I used the JCP store as a landmark to meet someone to sell my car.

It has to count for something.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 18:43 | 3424062 b_thunder
b_thunder's picture

I heard Microsoft is looking for someone to run (into the ground) their new retail stores.


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 19:10 | 3424145 EclecticParrot
EclecticParrot's picture

Great !  Now I can go back to buying big family packs of underwear massively discounted from artificially inflated regular prices from clerks dressed like 5th grade science teachers (and who, purely coincidentally, closely resemble Ackman, that odd meld of a pederast and Alfred E. Neuman).  It's the American way, and this Johnson guy was obviously a commie who doesn't understand how this country works.  

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:10 | 3424556 swmnguy
swmnguy's picture

OK, that's the best physical description of Bill Ackman I've ever heard.  I've met the guy a couple of times.  He was in the Twin Cities fairly frequently a couple of years ago when he was trying to shake down Target.  Hopefully I never run into him again because I'll be snickering, thanks to you.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 19:37 | 3424224 q99x2
q99x2's picture

F'k those retards. I have plan B right here.

JC Penny to accept Bitcoin as payment for products sold online.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 19:45 | 3424262 Dewey Cheatum Howe
Dewey Cheatum Howe's picture

New brand name JC Bitcoin.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 19:59 | 3424318 nbsharma
nbsharma's picture

I just watched the clip and read through the presentation, and all I can say is: wow! What an unbelievable disaster.

The moral of the story is: change has to be incremental. One step at a time, test your execution plan, see how customers react, repeat.


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 20:07 | 3424337 dolph9
dolph9's picture

I don't swim in these circles, but I'm close enough to them to know how they operate.

If you think these guys give a flying fuck about the companies they lead, the nation, or anybody else, you are dead wrong.


The way to fight back against them is to stop being a consumer whore, stop trading stocks, and stack precious metals.  But that's just preaching to the choir now.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 20:41 | 3424479 GoldRetriever
GoldRetriever's picture

This shows where thinking with your "Johnson" will get you.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 22:16 | 3424734 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

Into a nice golden parachute?

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 22:35 | 3424745 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture


Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:38 | 3424615 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

I worked as a consultant to Penney's for several years in the 90s and saw total incompetence at the top combined with terrorized, paralyzed middle level management. My friends there tell me nothing has changed.  So organizationaly this company is screwed from the get-go. When you have totally head-fucked your people who is going to get you out of the hole that top management has dug? Then you have their merchandise - ho hum barely begins to describe it. In an environment where almost nobody is buying anything they don't need, and those few who have a bit to spend are shopping Anthropologie and FreePeople, Penneys is toast. I mean, who wants to dress like their grandmother? The sooner these big brains on the board realize that they need to dump the company while they can on some unsuspecting Arab or Asian "investors", the better.

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 22:36 | 3424820 GMadScientist
GMadScientist's picture

"This is my friend Mr. Wang (no offense)."

Mon, 04/08/2013 - 21:56 | 3424676 NoWayJose
NoWayJose's picture

Sears dying, Kmart dying, JC Penney dying.... there's a pattern here, and these 'olde' retailers are all in trouble.  I applaud the CEO for trying, and its a shame we won't see his full changes.  I'd rather see them and say 'boring' than return to the old JC Penney.  There is a big pinch on these mega one-stop stores, as smaller more focused retailers push shoes, bedding & bath, outdoor clothing, women's underwear, teen fashion, etc, etc.  Then throw in Super Targets and Super Walmarts to beat JC Penney on both sale and everyday pricing.  

Just like full service gasoline stations, the mega one-stop stores will soon be a memory.  Only a handful of real high-end stores will remain in a sea of specialty retailers and Super Discount stores.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 00:35 | 3425139 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Sears dying, Kmart dying, JC Penney dying.... there's a pattern here.....

Amerika dying thanks to Hope & Change and the evil and unConstitutional Fed.

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