Korea's Boy Who Cried Wolf Is Now Screaming "Thermonuclear War"

Tyler Durden's picture

The boy who cried wolf is now openly screaming "thermonuclear war." No, really. AFP reports that North Korea said Tuesday the Korean peninsula was headed for "thermo-nuclear" war and advised foreigners to consider leaving South Korea, as the UN chief warned of a potentially "uncontrollable" situation. "Tuesday's advisory -- greeted largely with indifference -- followed a similar one last week to foreign embassies in Pyongyang, to consider evacuating by April 10 on the grounds war may break out. "The situation on the Korean Peninsula is inching close to a thermo-nuclear war," the Asia-Pacific Peace Committee said in a statement carried by the North's official Korean Central News Agency." The result - a big yawn, which sadly for Kim Junior is the worst reaction. After all what is a dictator with an inferiority complex and a laughable military to do to get some respect around here and score some "nuisance value" cash from the superpowers (which has been his entire plan all along).

The problem is he has done all the possible jawboning he could, and the next option is i) to follow through on one or more of his endless and increasingly idiotic threats, or ii) step back from the "thermonuclear" brink and be on the lookout for a military coup as he has pushed so far he can't possible retrace without losing all credibility, and fear a violent overthrow. Naturally, both options are hardly appetizing but the time to chose is rapidly approaching. And if he can't make up his mind, the increasingly ample US military presence in the region will be happy to make it for him.

From AFP:

Saying it did not want to see foreigners in South Korea "fall victim", the statement requested all foreign institutions, enterprises and tourists "to take measures for shelter and evacuation".


The committee blamed the heightened war risk on the "warmongering US" and its South Korean "puppets" who were intent on invasion.


The US dismissed the warning as "unhelpful" on Tuesday. White House spokesman Jay Carney criticised Pyongyang for more "unhelpful rhetoric that serves only to escalate tensions".


The "thermo-nuclear war" threat has been wielded several times in recent months -- most recently on March 7 -- despite expert opinion that North Korea is nowhere near developing such an advanced nuclear device.


"It is our current assessment that there is no immediate risk to British nationals in South Korea," a British embassy spokesman said, echoing similar statements from the US, French and other missions.


Last week's warning to embassies in Pyongyang was also largely dismissed as empty rhetoric, with most governments making it clear they had no plans to withdraw personnel.

Hollow warnings galore:

Yonhap news agency Tuesday cited South Korean intelligence as saying the North had completed preparations for an expected missile test-launch -- possibly to coincide with April 15 celebrations for the birthday of late founder Kim Il-Sung.


Japan, where the armed forces have been authorised to shoot down any North Korean missile headed towards its territory, said Tuesday it had deployed Patriot missiles in its capital as a pre-emptive defence measure.


A top US military commander said Tuesday that he favoured shooting down a North Korean missile only if it threatened the United States or Washington's allies in the region.


When asked by lawmakers if he supported knocking out any missile fired by North Korea, Admiral Samuel Locklear, head of US Pacific Command, said: "I would not recommend that".


But he told the Senate Armed Services Committee he would "certainly recommend" intercepting an incoming North Korean missile "if it was in defence of our allies" or the United States.

And from an "interception" to very rapid escalation, it is only a drone throw away. Escalation, that is, which is completely under the control of the US military, and which is presented to the world in such flashing red headlines that the GETCO algos translate each incremental development into yet another ES liftathon frenzy. Because what better way to go out at the all time S&P top than in a mushroom cloud blaze of glory.

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ACP's picture

Thermonucular War? You know what that means...


camaro68ss's picture

awwww, me so asian, cant see out of eyes.awwww

knukles's picture

An egomaniac with an inferiority complex

Off to Dictators Anonymous with you
And get a decent haircut

DoChenRollingBearing's picture

What are you talkin' about?!  That's a pretty damn good $6.00 haircut!

Manthong's picture

Piglet might want to rethink his approach..

The banking racket is going to need to be destroying a lot stuff to justify their next twist.

Pure Evil's picture

Jeez.....just in time to take our minds off the Cyprus fiatsco.

Divided States of America's picture

Lets see if this Gook Asian Piglet Jr has the balls to back up to what he says....coz its hard to find a any World Leader who keeps their words nowadays.

redpill's picture

Look, lil' fatty isn't calling any shots here, this is all his military handlers.  They don't let this kid do anything except look at shit and fire the occasional handgun.  

They are pretty thoroughly fucked though, even China isn't buying their shit anymore.

SMG's picture

China could stop all this, NK is entirely dependent on them.   I wonder why the haven't yet.

Say What Again's picture

Seal Team 6 should have a talk with this little POS

Dingleberry's picture

Somone call in "Team America"

America--fuck yeah!

MagicHandPuppet's picture

So Ronery :(

Why do these N. Korea dictators need so much dog gone attention?

akak's picture

The Korean Boy Who Cried "Worf!"

malikai's picture

Little Kim doesn't want to lose his lifestyle. Regardless of what he says.

tmosley's picture

I'm pretty sure that the Nokos don't have thermonuclear (ie fusion) warheads.  Maybe they are talking about what they will get nuked with after they go full retard and nuke someone.

Ahmeexnal's picture

Makes you wonder if Tim Cook knew beforehand how this would develop and accelerated the transfer of iOS processor manufacturing from Samsung to TSMC in Taiwan.
"If you can't beat them, thermo-nuke them"?
Time to short android (GOOG) and go long AAPL?

Spirit Of Truth's picture

Why would NK eliminate the element of surprise if something was truly planned?  That is, unless they know they have China's backing or even marching orders...


Fredo Corleone's picture

"Fail-Safe," by Burdick and Wheeler ( 1962 ). A novel which I highly recommend.

The 1964 Sidney Lumet film of the same title, starring Henry Fonda, is also extremely well done, and a faithful representation of the novel.

BLOTTO's picture

I'm starting to wonder if our 'friend' Dennis Rodman was nothing more...

then a messenger for his visit to DPRK?


You know the news that you just cant send via hotmail so every fuckin eaves dropper is waiting to pickup...some real juicy news...


Like, who would ever believe Dennis Rodman is nothing more then a cross dressing ex-NBA star and joke? Hardly a serious person to do anything of importance while visiting one of the hardest countries on this earth?

Thats why it might be brilliant.


He comes back and now all hell breaks lose? Some serious war talk and bulshit...interesting


Howard Stern on his radio show (apparently) asked him when he came back, "if he was debriefed." And Dennis just laughed it off and said nah he wasnt 'debriefed'...guilty?


Just a big ole smoke and mirror occult shit show.

The Big Ching-aso's picture

Too bad Fukushima isn't in NOKO.   Then he could've gone thermonuclear on SOKO without starting a war.

The Big Ching-aso's picture

"Remember Hiroshima, Round Eye!   Orrrrh wait, that not come out right."

CompassionateFascist's picture

NK military intelligence informed Kim that D. Rodman and B.H. Obama are actually 2 different people. So he's hopping mad. Can you blame him? I think not. 

Carl Spackler's picture

I had to down arrow you, SWA, because you just don't drop a Special Forces team into the middle of a military state to assasinate a sovereign leader, while we are not at war with that military state. 

Extensive danger to the Special Forces team, and an American President will not accept this risk at this point in time.  Any faux pas, and you start a war to which that American President does not want their name associated.

 It's ridiculous.


A Nanny Moose's picture

You mean what's left of Seal Team 6.

post turtle saver's picture

Seal Team Six was disbanded in 1987. We roll with DEVGRU and JSOC now.

The Big Ching-aso's picture

How do you get green glass throughout N. Korea?


Drug the population's water supply so it causes massive kimchi farts.



mt paul's picture

potassium dichromate

mixed with sand, soda ash and limestone

will give you a nice green glass...

LuckoftheIrish's picture

China wasn't going to stop him until someone made the $6.00 hair cut remark. Game over.

Boondocker's picture

Because syria and iran are more important to china....and they dont want anyone paying attention

Carl Spackler's picture

This is my theory, as well.

The North Korean shenanigans are an effort to get the world spotlight off of Syria and Iran for awhile.

The Iranians, with the agreement of the Chinese, pay North Korea and Kim to act the fool. 

Kim gets energy (oil) and/or western currency, and Iran gets breathing room.

The Big Ching-aso's picture

This guy has abolutely gone Middle-East bat shit crazy without any oil.     I think they'll probably leave him alone then.

Political_Savage's picture

My thought exactly - Mr. Piggy ain't calling any shots.

Just like the submarine thing and the shelling - it was generals making the calls.

jimmytorpedo's picture

Wasn't Un raised by MI6 babysitters at a private school in Switzerland?

Or was that Rothschils baysitters, hmm,...

The Big Ching-aso's picture

I bet this guy is a great chess player but only without pawns, bishops, knights, castles, queens or kings on the board. 

New England Patriot's picture

This is an exercise in extortion until it isn't. 

johngaltfla's picture

Bingo New England Patriot....they can hit us and most Americans wish to think that American Idol and Ben Bernanke protect their little households made of straw from evil....


North Korea Crisis: The US West Coast IS Vulnerable to WMD Attack

NewThor's picture



that's why the Sun looked elongated at Sunset.

an hour ago or so.

johngaltfla's picture


Multiple reports of PRC border crossing with now being closed to tourists.

Sizzurp's picture

Whats the latest ham intel?

Abraxas's picture

Hey, give a boy some break. He's under lots of stress. He's really between a hammer (USA) and a rock (China).

Matt's picture

Between a ROK and a hard place.

Jambo Mambo Bill's picture

Let's give him a breaker, get him some Polonium, North Koreans will appreciate it.

Gringo Viejo's picture

I originally thought when his father died, one of those old generals with the oversized hats would off him within 6 weeks. Viewing the situation today, I think it was simply a matter of bad timing on my part. Another 6 weeks ought to do it.

NotApplicable's picture

Generals should be smart enough to know a good fall guy when they see one.

natronic's picture

A $6.00 haircut there is a $6,000 haircut here.

Dr Benway's picture

I thought he was the only North Korean allowed that specific haircut?


knukles's picture

Partially choking on sugar cookie

Stackers's picture

Greetings Professor, would you like to play a game ?

Yes, lets play global thermonuclear war.

Wouldnt you rather play a nice game of chess ?