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Korea's Boy Who Cried Wolf Is Now Screaming "Thermonuclear War"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

The boy who cried wolf is now openly screaming "thermonuclear war." No, really. AFP reports that North Korea said Tuesday the Korean peninsula was headed for "thermo-nuclear" war and advised foreigners to consider leaving South Korea, as the UN chief warned of a potentially "uncontrollable" situation. "Tuesday's advisory -- greeted largely with indifference -- followed a similar one last week to foreign embassies in Pyongyang, to consider evacuating by April 10 on the grounds war may break out. "The situation on the Korean Peninsula is inching close to a thermo-nuclear war," the Asia-Pacific Peace Committee said in a statement carried by the North's official Korean Central News Agency." The result - a big yawn, which sadly for Kim Junior is the worst reaction. After all what is a dictator with an inferiority complex and a laughable military to do to get some respect around here and score some "nuisance value" cash from the superpowers (which has been his entire plan all along).

The problem is he has done all the possible jawboning he could, and the next option is i) to follow through on one or more of his endless and increasingly idiotic threats, or ii) step back from the "thermonuclear" brink and be on the lookout for a military coup as he has pushed so far he can't possible retrace without losing all credibility, and fear a violent overthrow. Naturally, both options are hardly appetizing but the time to chose is rapidly approaching. And if he can't make up his mind, the increasingly ample US military presence in the region will be happy to make it for him.

From AFP:

Saying it did not want to see foreigners in South Korea "fall victim", the statement requested all foreign institutions, enterprises and tourists "to take measures for shelter and evacuation".

 

The committee blamed the heightened war risk on the "warmongering US" and its South Korean "puppets" who were intent on invasion.

 

The US dismissed the warning as "unhelpful" on Tuesday. White House spokesman Jay Carney criticised Pyongyang for more "unhelpful rhetoric that serves only to escalate tensions".

 

The "thermo-nuclear war" threat has been wielded several times in recent months -- most recently on March 7 -- despite expert opinion that North Korea is nowhere near developing such an advanced nuclear device.

 

"It is our current assessment that there is no immediate risk to British nationals in South Korea," a British embassy spokesman said, echoing similar statements from the US, French and other missions.

 

Last week's warning to embassies in Pyongyang was also largely dismissed as empty rhetoric, with most governments making it clear they had no plans to withdraw personnel.

Hollow warnings galore:

Yonhap news agency Tuesday cited South Korean intelligence as saying the North had completed preparations for an expected missile test-launch -- possibly to coincide with April 15 celebrations for the birthday of late founder Kim Il-Sung.

 

Japan, where the armed forces have been authorised to shoot down any North Korean missile headed towards its territory, said Tuesday it had deployed Patriot missiles in its capital as a pre-emptive defence measure.

 

A top US military commander said Tuesday that he favoured shooting down a North Korean missile only if it threatened the United States or Washington's allies in the region.

 

When asked by lawmakers if he supported knocking out any missile fired by North Korea, Admiral Samuel Locklear, head of US Pacific Command, said: "I would not recommend that".

 

But he told the Senate Armed Services Committee he would "certainly recommend" intercepting an incoming North Korean missile "if it was in defence of our allies" or the United States.

And from an "interception" to very rapid escalation, it is only a drone throw away. Escalation, that is, which is completely under the control of the US military, and which is presented to the world in such flashing red headlines that the GETCO algos translate each incremental development into yet another ES liftathon frenzy. Because what better way to go out at the all time S&P top than in a mushroom cloud blaze of glory.

 

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Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:50 | 3428061 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

Our E6 'Doomsday' machine and the B1B 'Slammers' are now in theater and locked and loaded Mr President.

I am in command and ready to enforce PEACE... on our terms.

Brigadier General Jack. D. Ripper

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:58 | 3428132 Bicycle Repairman
Bicycle Repairman's picture

Working up a treatment for a sequel:

"Doctol Stlrangerove 2"

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:30 | 3428715 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

...or How I no Worry and Fuck Wit da Bomb.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:47 | 3428584 toady
toady's picture

P.O.E. Purity of Essence.

I do deny them that...

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:49 | 3428062 The big unzip
The big unzip's picture

Bend him over and give him the high hard one, he'd really cry then.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:48 | 3428065 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Kim Jong Oswald............

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:48 | 3428067 The Heart
The Heart's picture

Meanwhile, over on the eastern front, what the heck is happening in the ME?

And what is happening in that gun grabber agenda?

What are those tricky banksters hiding?

How about some sort of false flag event to create a greater cover up of the euro crash, and the banks that are dead?

Maybe??

How about peace and reconciliation, instead of moar World War???

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:00 | 3428135 DCFusor
DCFusor's picture

Yep, why this distraction now?  Gotta be cover for something the way things have been going.  Hey, look over there (while I pick your pockets and take all your rights).

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:33 | 3428304 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Why this distraction now? Because it's perpetual, of course ... there is no "now"

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:49 | 3428071 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

Maybe the folks at AAPL have paid that nigga to take out Samsung?  as plausible as anything these days why not ?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:27 | 3428269 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Where do Crapple's out-sourced manufacturers gets their parts (since Crapple doesn't actually make ANYTHING other than fiat)...

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:12 | 3428474 Matt
Matt's picture

They are in the process of switching from Samsung (South Korea) to TSMC (Taiwan / China).

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:51 | 3428076 Aknownymouse
Aknownymouse's picture

If I were an inferior wanna be dictator,I would keep all eyes on the launch pads, but sneek in a behind the scenes suicide sub marine or 2. That way, everyone knows he means business and would still be afraid of the intact nukes on the launcher. But then again, I would make one heck of a bad dude. Thank Godness I am not.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:50 | 3428079 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

Give him the Nobel Peace Prize. Doubt he killed as many people as Obama.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:52 | 3428085 Aknownymouse
Aknownymouse's picture

Too late. Should be after 1 week of crowning. Like O

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:53 | 3428087 swissaustrian
Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:54 | 3428090 Banksters
Banksters's picture

It is rather odd to watch the US bomb the hell out of countries preemptively and then get threatened with nuclear war and not act.  

 

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:06 | 3428169 Westcoastliberal
Westcoastliberal's picture

"W" said: "Those weapons of mass destruction gotta be somewhere"....Yeah dumbass, they're in North Korea, not IraQ!

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:10 | 3428198 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

You would hope Obama and Biden get impeached if say Seattle glows in the dark after a nuke hit.  We really should attack his missiles before they are ever launched.

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:21 | 3428241 bluskyes
bluskyes's picture

North Korea does not have any gold, or oil.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:38 | 3428328 knukles
knukles's picture

Right
Or food or arable land or forests or water....
Fuck all buncha cold dirty dirt.

So they can be nuked as a lesson to other worthless irritants.

Them that's gots gets, them that's gots nots get shots... or something
No redeeming temporal value
Phhhhft

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:00 | 3428427 GCT
GCT's picture

Spot on Knuckles.  This rhetoric is all about food.  People in NK are starving so the nut job cranks up the rhetoric and the people will get food from around the world to shut him up and keep him and his handlers in power.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:15 | 3428480 Matt
Matt's picture

Friggin welfare queen. Why use resources to grow food, when you can make weapons and threaten people into giving you food instead?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:59 | 3428091 I am a Man I am...
I am a Man I am Forty's picture

is it not painfully obvious that Koreans have the smallest penises in the world?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:05 | 3428165 negative rates
negative rates's picture

No, but i'm startin to figure out where all those pencil necks are come from.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:53 | 3428096 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

One has to wonder what the purpose of the secret meeting between the U.S and North Korea was all about:

 

http://thecable.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2013/04/09/exclusive_us_and_nort...

 

 

 

Hey Kim....we need you to dreate a distraction in exchange we will give you_____________(fill in the blank).

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:03 | 3428153 saints51
saints51's picture

candy

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:03 | 3428157 Westcoastliberal
Westcoastliberal's picture

Fucking link is paywalled..

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:53 | 3428098 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

Nuking Seoul and Tokyo would be a black swan event since nobody believes the little, fat guy.

I do like Bill Whittle's response if he were President:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Cbgq4i-Hxo0

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:56 | 3428103 Silverhog
Silverhog's picture

If a missile hits Fukushima, how will we know?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:15 | 3428217 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Probably the same way we came to know about chernobyl: Some guys show up for work in a nuclear powerplant on a rainy day, and the alarm goes off as soon as they try to enter.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:45 | 3428361 YHC-FTSE
YHC-FTSE's picture

The only missiles likely to cause casualties in Japan are the Patriot missiles deployed around Tokyo. They have a tendecy to mistake the ground for the sky.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:37 | 3428740 BigInJapan
BigInJapan's picture

How will you know?

I've got some illegal Potassium Iodide so I should be able to get a message typed before my fingers fall off.

I say we slam the cunts. Blow off some fuckin' steam. I wanna see that shit in the sunset from the beach. If ever there were a disposable country, North Korea is it.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:42 | 3430771 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

The vast majority of Koreans stuck in the Kim Family's private estate are guilty of nothing more than a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome and deserve nothing less than freedom from oppression and some f-cking food.  Maybe the Fat Boy King can share some...looks like he's got plenty to spare.

Come to think of it, lots of folks are stuck in the same dynamic (evil leadership regimes, powerless citizens).  Not to name names of course (cough cough cough NDAA 2010 cough cough cough). 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:35 | 3428741 BigInJapan
BigInJapan's picture

How will you know?

I've got some illegal Potassium Iodide so I should be able to get a message typed before my fingers fall off.

I say we slam the cunts. Blow off some fuckin' steam. I wanna see that shit in the sunset from the beach. If ever there were a disposable country, North Korea is it.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:58 | 3428116 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

Attention whore...

 

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:57 | 3428118 Stockmonger
Stockmonger's picture

Thermonuclear war would have a huge Krugmanian multiplier effect on economic growth. Probably the next best thing to alien invasion.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:57 | 3428119 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

We can laugh but this twat is going to lose more than face if he doesn't follow thru'

with something.I don't think he will enjoy working in the paddy fields.so this could

go very badly.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:58 | 3428122 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

I'm not an analyst, but if you ask me anyways, I'd say this is strongly bullish!

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 20:04 | 3429036 The Heart
The Heart's picture

Tick...tock...tick...tock...tick...tock....

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:59 | 3428124 colin
colin's picture

nuke him with those bitcoins, that will shut him up

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:59 | 3428126 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

North Korean "weather" satellite that some theorize is actually an EMP weapon delivery system will pass over the heart of the U.S. tomorrow (and other days).  Tomorrow is the day that they've been warning us about.

http://www.n2yo.com/passes/?s=39026

Some believe that their previously detected low yeild nuclear tests were actually devices meant not for tremendous physical damage but were engineered for maximum electromagnetic pulse output.

He may not be able to invade the U.S. but anyone letting loose a major EMP over the country could disable our entire infrastructure knocking us back to the stone age.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:07 | 3428177 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

but my bitcoins would be safe right ? I mean could the folks that run the bitcoin bank send me a temporary letter of credit while  I wait for the system to come back up ?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:17 | 3428493 Matt
Matt's picture

After an EMP, how will you non-destructively verify the purity of gold and silver coins? If it passes the basic density test, you have to take it on faith.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:24 | 3428512 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

I can verify most gold coins w/o any technology.  Essentially they are minute little counterbalances that are precisely manufactured as "go-no go" type devices.  Place a coin on one side, if it drops, it's gold, if not, it's counterfeit bitchez.  Silver... not so easy... thats why I only buy circulated or "junk" silver coinz bitchez.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:26 | 3428517 rhinoblitzing
rhinoblitzing's picture

FSLR

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 19:09 | 3428856 scatterbrains
scatterbrains's picture

oh i stay away from numismatics and don't care about destructive marks. I like to check the old fashion way by rubbing a gold streak across a touchstone and see if acid burns it off.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 22:11 | 3429376 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Damn, that's old school, but works!

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:10 | 3428197 WTF_247
WTF_247's picture

Again - massively bullish.

All those computers have to be replaced.

All those cell phones

All those TVs

All those XBOX, Playstation, WiiU

That would skyrocket technology spending = massive GDP boost = huge earnings for tech companies to power the markets higher.

 

In the new paradigm there is nothing that cannot be construed as massively bullish.  There is no scenario that cannot be viewed as glass half full.

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:13 | 3428209 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

The US will just use those ANSAT weapons they are  not allowed by treaty.

Rules,smules.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:30 | 3428287 catacl1sm
catacl1sm's picture

It would take a decade to replace all of electric grid transformers, so most of those toys wouldnt' have power anyway.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:40 | 3428345 Winston Churchill
Winston Churchill's picture

At least. twenty years ,if ever.

In that case the rest of the world will be in no hurry to supply the US.

Revenge will be a dish eaten slowly.

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 21:21 | 3429244 The Heart
Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:10 | 3428467 BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

I don't speak satellite. At what time will it pass over DC, Kansas, and then LA?

Those would be the best times to pop an EMP, depending on what they figure their targets and capabilities are.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:28 | 3428520 Zymurguy
Zymurguy's picture

It really just depends on the altitude... there's essentially a conically shaped prime EMP cone of destructionz that would emminate from the explosion downward to the earth.  The higher up the wider the circular shaped zone on the ground... but conversely it could reduce damage due to the higher altitude.  So it would need to be optimized for the satellites altitude.  High enough up, and with enough power it just needs to be over the U.S. somewhere in "flyover country"... should get a big chunk of the Canucks and the Mezzcanz too bitchez.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:59 | 3428128 Debugas
Debugas's picture

i just pray he has no nuclear suitcase planted somewhere in Seul or Tokyo

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:04 | 3428158 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Nah, the technical difficulties increase rapidly with decreased bombsize.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:00 | 3428130 RougeUnderwriter
RougeUnderwriter's picture

Dear Intrade,

 

I'd like like the over on a nuke hit by Friday please Lil Kim is a funny man! 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 15:59 | 3428133 Bryan
Bryan's picture

I don't doubt he's throw a tantrum one day and push that big red button.  "Easy!"

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:01 | 3428139 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

      'Baby Huey' gonna be 'foie gras' in the gulag by his generals if he keeps crying wolf...

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:02 | 3428142 vaft
vaft's picture

This is bullish for AAPL.

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:01 | 3428147 Winston Smith 2009
Winston Smith 2009's picture

"'The situation on the Korean Peninsula is inching close to a thermo-nuclear war,' the Asia-Pacific Peace Committee said in a statement carried by the North's official Korean Central News Agency."

First of all, no, it isn't.  Second, even if true, that statement would only be half correct.  The NKs would be using an unknown small number of semi-functional 7 kiloton NUCLEAR  weapons while the US would be using multi-hundred-kiloton THERMONUCLEAR wepons.  For NK, the only way to win is not to play anything other than a game of words.  Ignore them.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:02 | 3428148 Westcoastliberal
Westcoastliberal's picture

Guys & Gals, the REAL danger in all this hoopla isn't what N. Korea can or will do, it's how our own government might use these threats as opportunity/cover for a false flag attack.  There seems to be a history of this (Pearl Harbor, Operation Northwoods, Gulf of Tonkin attack, 9/11).

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:10 | 3428195 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture

 

 

Yup.

No globalist in their right mind would allow a full blown banking crisis without some means of covering their back side.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:15 | 3428644 Legolas
Legolas's picture

Isn't the "weather" satellite North Korea launched in December 2012 positioned over the states this week?

 

Great cover for an EMP attack. 

 

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:07 | 3428154 yogibear
yogibear's picture

Bullish. Go long! Any bad news spikes the market to new highs.

This Korean kid is a coward. He would never try such a thing. All hot air.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:05 | 3428161 dobermangang
dobermangang's picture

 What if all the "experts" are wrong and they can hit the west coast of the USA with a nuke?  We live in interesting times.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:06 | 3428173 maskone909
maskone909's picture

Then im fucked. Some one pop a cap in this fat fuckers ass already.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 20:26 | 3429087 Clint Liquor
Clint Liquor's picture

What if the 'experts are wrong'? Breakout the SPF 5000.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:16 | 3428226 FIAT
FIAT's picture

maybe he'd do us a favor and vaporize hollyweird and san fran or, dare to dream, dc

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:28 | 3428251 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

Of course he can hit the West Coast with a nuke, he has nukes doesn't he?

It doesn't have to on the head of a missle.  It can be shipped by aircraft or boat or submarine.

One other fellow with a funny haircut and mustache caused a lot of havoc decades ago.  Don't ever underestimate your enemy, they can surprise, especially if they are desperate, and it appears NK is desperate.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:25 | 3428270 knukles
knukles's picture

If anybody can launch a satellite they can launch a nuke.
Same thing, folks

Please, no PHD dissertations

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:09 | 3428632 toady
toady's picture

Exactly. Once the device is in orbit it can hit anywhere on the planet. That's why I can't figure out the focus on NKs missiles. They have achieved orbit. Any old, local theater of operations missiles are now irrelevant.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 21:26 | 3429252 The Heart
The Heart's picture

"What if all the "experts" are wrong and they can hit the west coast of the USA with a nuke?"

What if we ALL SAY, we ain't going for it. Period!

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:06 | 3428166 Divine Wind
Divine Wind's picture

 

 

 

I think Lil Kim's days are numbered.

He has painted himself into a corner

If he launches a war, he may score some initial heavy blows with his 10,000+ pieces of artillery along the DMZ, but he will cease to exist within days.

If he does not launch a war soon, he will be dethroned from within.

Should have stayed in Sweetzerland.

 

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:06 | 3428168 Iam Yue2
Iam Yue2's picture

Buy the futures on Intrade... Oh sorry.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:11 | 3428202 knukles
knukles's picture

Ever notice, everything that works quits working?

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 21:27 | 3429259 The Heart
The Heart's picture

Ever notice when everything seems to be just fine, it isn't.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:30 | 3428528 Matt
Matt's picture

http://betsofbitco.in/

current bets are 1:9 for:

U.S. will declare war on N. Korea by May 2013.

If the US enters war with N. Korea, or if N. Korea takes hostile action on the US or her allies, resulting in military action against the county by May 1st, 2013, the statement will be true.

 

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:10 | 3428187 The Phu
The Phu's picture

Nuclear war = no more Kia's... and I just bought a Sorento.  Hope I don't need any replacement parts before my million-year warranty expires.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:14 | 3428213 Alcoholic Nativ...
Alcoholic Native American's picture

They are mostly manufactured in the South East U.S. now.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:08 | 3428192 Smuckers
Smuckers's picture

L'll Kim Jr. jumped the shark when Rodman showed up.

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:29 | 3428282 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

Yep, Lil Kim probably figured if Rodman is the average american it's no problem beatin' these fuckers silly. Rodman was probably wasted the entire time he was there

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:09 | 3428196 Joebloinvestor
Joebloinvestor's picture

If he pisses off the Chinese enough, he will vanish.

They already made that clear when they blew up a train station (an hour late) when his dad went through it.

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:11 | 3428199 DCFusor
DCFusor's picture

A single EMP device takes out at most a small state (that is, the size of thing he's got, we think, he's not tested multi megaton thermo-nukes, ever) - nasty, but we'd recover fast.  Retaliation would be instant and decisive.  End of that little twat.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:35 | 3428319 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Recovery would not be fast, the transformers on the grid can't be replaced in a timely fashion, and because the grid acts as a giant antenna, the damage is not only intensified, but transmitted beyond it's normal range.  Throw in the fact that the meat puppets turn into zombies within 72 hours without their daily dose of government cheese... F.U.B.A.R.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:35 | 3428539 Matt
Matt's picture

And if one section of the grid goes down on the East Coast, it takes down everything around it due to the decrepit, overloaded grid there.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:49 | 3428587 Legolas
Legolas's picture

But, what if China is supplying the EMP for the madman?  Who would ever know afterwards?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:12 | 3428201 Alcoholic Nativ...
Alcoholic Native American's picture

North Korea is developing Nuclear weapons, send in John Bolton before it's too late.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:14 | 3428211 Smuckers
Smuckers's picture

"Termonukweeah Wah Dance" -
Gangnam style for short angry bitches.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:15 | 3428215 FIAT
FIAT's picture

china's retaliation via proxy for japan's bernanke-ordered devaluation

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:14 | 3428218 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

"It's already priced in."

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:16 | 3428224 RetiredVet
RetiredVet's picture

This little North Korean fire plug needs to get laid........enough said.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:18 | 3428230 eaglerock
eaglerock's picture

I'm definitely envisioning a South Park episode where Cartman and the gang beat Kim at a video game or something and he takes out his anger by firing all his missles. 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 21:39 | 3429293 The Heart
The Heart's picture

Only darn thing about that is, you are going to have to wait until September to find out. By then, well, lets hope we all get there in some semblance of peace. Christmas is always something too hope to see one more of in a strange peacetime for most, and hell for the rest that are attacked by o'bomba drones.

Shalom?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:19 | 3428232 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Fascinating documentary on I think the History Channel about a fleet of Russian Subs sent into the Atlantic at the time fo the Cuban Missle Crisis.

All subs armed with nuclear missiles, with potential orders to nuke the U.S. Atlantic Fleet.

They were out of touch with Moscow for almost weeks at a time, they were detected by the U.S. Fleet.

One Captain of the lead sub put the key in and started the order to fire a nuclear missle.

A level-headed KGB officer who had ultimate authority stopped him.

One person away from nuclear war in the early 1960's.

I'm not so confident with North Korea.

Seem more crazy than "Ivan".

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 21:47 | 3429317 The Heart
The Heart's picture

Funny you mentioned this Eb. Woke up seeing all kids of sub traffic under the Pacific. What was in the center were those Russian subs.

Maybe it is like a big ol submarine free-way system out there, or something?

Are the carriers emp proof?

What does stratfor say?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:19 | 3428234 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Now we know who shorted Bitcoin.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:23 | 3428246 waterwitch
waterwitch's picture

How about a dirty bomb in Seoul? That counts --kind of?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:23 | 3428252 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Let me see. I might consider leaving. I have an appointment with my hairdresser at 9am and then onto get my nails done at 11:30. 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:24 | 3428256 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

Don't blame the midget, he is just doing Rodman's bidding...

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:24 | 3428262 q99x2
q99x2's picture

The price of Natural Resources from the South China Sea just went up.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:27 | 3428273 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I hear MtGox is a Japanese firm. Probably a good time to pack up your wallets.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:29 | 3428285 q99x2
q99x2's picture

I hope they never find oil under my property.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:33 | 3428300 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

I spilled a couple of quarts when changing the oil on my Lesabre in the back yard. A drone has been hovering over my house for the past 3 weeks.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:32 | 3428302 MrNude
MrNude's picture

I wonder if this a pretext to a internal coup. They are building him up as a madman so when one of the generals shoots him and takes over no tears will be shed. 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:33 | 3428310 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Have no fear, Obama and the NWO will protect us.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:37 | 3428316 lasergoh
lasergoh's picture

The name's Kim Jong Un, but everybody calls me psycho. Any of you guys call me Kim Jong Un, and I keee yu. You just made zee list buddy!

And I don't like anybody touchin my stuff. You touch my stuff and I keee yu.

Any of you homos touch me, I keeee yu.

 

In fact, I gonna keee all yu.

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:35 | 3428317 css1971
css1971's picture

If the US attack, China has to step in in defence of NK. This bolsters Kim's position abd cements him in place. It's the best possible case for him and has all sorts of escalation problems.

If China on the other hand removes him. Problem solved. Though it seems more likely they would work through a 5th column.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:52 | 3430857 Chaos_Theory
Chaos_Theory's picture

The tell would be how quickly South Korea asks USFK to vacate their territory and then China allows the reunification to procede under the ROK leadership, followed by Korea "flipping" from the Americans to the Chinese zone. 

Sounds too good to be true...

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:36 | 3428323 zerosum
zerosum's picture

Kim doesn't have a "red button" - the question is why is we are being told he may have one. There is no way he's got more than a very few bombs and if he uses even one he and his country will be completely, utterly destroyed. Yet the US intelligence community is actually putting forth a preposterous "nobody really knows" story that is 100% inconsistent with their known monitoring capabilities; their real capabilities are probably secret and probably unbelievably good. 

What is this really about? 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:14 | 3428479 One of We
One of We's picture

Misdirection.  The Syria circus was losing traction but Kim Jong X is always a willing accomplice for a new distraction.  I wouldn't be surprised to see some action in the orient while the banking cartel has their bitches ram through some ridiculous shit in DC as the sheep stare in awe at another mighty US of A fireworks show.....

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:21 | 3428499 BooMushroom
BooMushroom's picture

The question is not whether we have the CAPABILITY to flatten NK. The question is, do we have a Senate and a CINC who have the WILL to do so.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:43 | 3428545 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

Their theoretical capabilities and the current reality of the US government are not necessarily the same.

When US lost interest in Afghanistan the last time around.  They left the largest CIA "annex/listening post" in Central Asia open for business on a "slightly" reduced (by DC standards) budget located right down the street from the Rawalpindi arms bazaar where you pick up a shoulder fired rocket for a fistful of dollars.  You would think the script writers would change a few details between Monty Python plagiarizations, but not in bizaaro-Langley-Foggy-Butt-hole world.

The CIA actually was caught off-guard in 1998, their best thinking was one, may be (at most) [if there's an odd alignment of the plants] they might, (possibly), [conceivably] have at most TWO (whole) [but not necessarily fully-assembled] warheads. 

In 1994, Pakistan had so many extra nukes just lying around, that certain Pakistanis were offering (unofficial) [official] personal (supervised) [guided] tours to see their Awesome Alah-inspired wonderful bombZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

The .GOV could both saved a fuck-ton of cash and had vastly superior intelligence, if they had only worked a little smarter and picked their friends and acquaintances with a bit more wisdom, but that's not really the way Washington works.

They budget and arrogance may have been vastly inflated over the past decade, but I don't think the CIA is actually smarter, and if anything they are dumber since they lost a vast amount of institutional experience in the various pogroms that have increased in correlation to their budget..

 

 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 22:29 | 3429345 The Heart
The Heart's picture

PS: Bed time music---->http://12160.info/page/reuters-live-stream?xg_source=shorten_twitter

Darn!

Like double darn. Trolls shut it down.

This was a live feed of two patriot missle batteries being fueled and prepared on the DMZ. Now it is suddenly off the air after only 30 min. Go figure.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 05:22 | 3430004 Urban Redneck
Urban Redneck's picture

If they disconnect my ZH I would be concerned, but I wouldn't put it past an ambitious overpaid federal sloth not to realize they can't classify information that they don't possess in the first place...

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:35 | 3428324 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Maybe he's not bluffing. After all it's easy to see what's slowly happening to the rest of the 'axis of evil' why wait to get blown up when you can go out in flames?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:50 | 3428367 MrNude
MrNude's picture

Well the way I heard it was the US intelligence prefers NK being a basket case and drain on China while the US backed South Korea is a model success story. Maybe China has told NK to start earning it's Aid by putting the spooks on South Korea and Japan, to show the US that China is going to start flexing it's muscles in the region more. But who knows what is the truth from the fiction or how tangled the Chinese Whisper is now.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 07:18 | 3430131 kurt
kurt's picture

If this is so then we're stupid and still following John Foster Dulles and George Kennan into a crusty asshole.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:40 | 3428334 the not so migh...
the not so mighty maximiza's picture

I think China wants this.  We devalued all those dollars they were collecting and they are pissed.   That BRICs meeting was not just talkign about their money being backed by precious metals they had enough of our shit.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:46 | 3428356 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Not really worth the comment, but I liked the Gimme Shelter tie in. I'll give you the best version. (And yes, for the front-facing predators, the piccies are part of the snark).

 

100-1 on the only fireworks being for his birthday, or the 'back of the van' Chinese solution. As a personal aside, that's gotta be the worst 21st birthday present ever:

"Hi, your Dad is a very important guy, and we know you like Switzerland, and if you play it right and play it like we tell you, you might get to live here one day. Oh... we're from the State Department, or something like that. Yeah, sure, we can get you Shaq whenever you want him, we know you like basketball".

 

Title of the piece should have been: "The boy who never got to meet Shaq". Deals with the devil always don't seem to fit the bill, however much they fit the contract.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 16:57 | 3428418 css1971
css1971's picture

Add wifi and you've got the perfect executive management tool.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:10 | 3428463 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Currently trending: Shodan usage. Why it's trending? Well, cyberwar and "sanitizing social media" is a big racket at the moment, and there's probably some nervous people in DC looking to monopolize on it. Virtual War is great; less over-heads, better profits.

 

p.s. Do a Grep, I was teeheeing when someone was slating me for tickling around with social trackers. I even gave you the spoilers at the time. Look that way >>>

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:06 | 3428453 sweaty7
sweaty7's picture

do they not have porn in pyonyang?

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:16 | 3428483 adamas
adamas's picture

I just won a great contract with a South Korean company worth $750,000 profit per annum.... if the little twat bombs seoul I'll go over there personally and fkin shoot him.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:16 | 3428487 mc225
mc225's picture

have you checked out the game of korean chess? it's fairly wild. kind of like chinese chess, but with notable variations.

chinese, japanese, korean chess; all distinct from one another. i play the chinese chess.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:22 | 3428503 LetsGetPhysical
LetsGetPhysical's picture

What he's really screaming is "Gimme free shit bitchez!" 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:26 | 3428518 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Pay the sucker in Bitcoins!

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:24 | 3428514 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Missile launch over Japan at around 6-7PM eastern...

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:26 | 3428516 flacorps
flacorps's picture

I'm put in mind of an old bumper sticker: "Thermonuclear War: Let's Get It Over With!"

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:44 | 3428759 screw face
screw face's picture

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:47 | 3428765 screw face
screw face's picture

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:41 | 3428558 Rustysilver
Rustysilver's picture

I blame this on Dennis Rodman. He should have a short conversation with Kim and explain how things are.

Foock you Rodman.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:42 | 3428566 Legolas
Legolas's picture

Anybody else suspecting another false flag in the morning? 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:50 | 3428588 lolmao500
lolmao500's picture

Well the US did have a secret meeting with Kim Jong Un in March... this might all be part of the plan.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:28 | 3428704 Legolas
Legolas's picture

Got my power inverter today (3000 watt).  Putting it in the faraday cage.

Can never be over prepared when so many idiots are in charge worldwide.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:43 | 3428572 altgeek
altgeek's picture

"be on the lookout for a military coup"

 

Nah, his aunt and uncle are the real power. He is just the Fat Head Figurehead of Familial Descent. The family and top generals know that a war will result in their party ending once and for all. If they survive, they'll end up like Saddam.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 17:57 | 3428602 Bam_Man
Bam_Man's picture

"Now go home and get your f***in' shinebox!"

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:54 | 3428791 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

Best movie line ever, bravo!

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:49 | 3428776 Gold N Glocks
Gold N Glocks's picture

Time to play Cowboys and Slope Heads =)

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:55 | 3428785 foodstampbarry
foodstampbarry's picture

A u t o m o b i l e

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:58 | 3428787 Black Markets
Black Markets's picture

If the US attacks North Korea then refugees will start pouring into China and China will immediately be dragged into the conflict.

The US military is actually extremely vulnerable in that it relies on satellites for both navigation and communication and surveillance. China has the ability to shoot down satellites or rather the ability to create masses of space debris at specific orbits.

The US is not going to touch North Korea.

Besides the best efforts of American propoganda the USA hasn't won a war since 1945.

North Korea is unpredictable and inflammatory.

It's a regional problem. The best strategy the US could have is to butt out and go home. Why the fuck is America all over the Far East like a cheap shirt?

The US can't help themselves but get dragged into every fringe conflict on the planet. All in an attempt to gain some kind of long term strategic upperhand. But that's total bullshit. America is great at losing wars, alienating people, building generational vendettas and spewing tidal waves of public capital into the fruitless pursuit of other people's freedom.

Why doesn't the US just pack up, pull out and stay home? What are they even doing in the middle of this conflict on this volatile peninsula on the other side of the world?

What a complete misadventure it has drained the US public purse for over 50 years.

Sort your shit out at home before you go wading into everyone else's affairs. You can't afford it. You have nothing to gain in Korea.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 22:16 | 3429386 Almost Solvent
Almost Solvent's picture

Since you obviously are not from around here, let me make it clear:

Our military industrial small dick complex wants to make sure that you feel our cock up your ass.

24/7

And make sure the lube is light sweet crude . . . 

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 22:34 | 3429422 The Heart
Tue, 04/09/2013 - 18:56 | 3428792 All is chosen
All is chosen's picture

Looking at that pic of the little lad tells me that all he needs is a school cane expertly applied to his posterior.

Granted it would take a few valuable minutes of one's time, but six strokes would transform his attitude.

Tue, 04/09/2013 - 19:06 | 3428836 chump666
chump666's picture

It's China f*cking with Japan, using Nth Korea.  Japan makes a false flag move, North Korea gets the ok.  What the hell can America do? Hamstrung military stretched over four corners of the world and a crony capitalist goverment being manipulated by a lunatic central bank.  House ain't in order son.

This is a game chess. Curious on the checkmate though.

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