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    05/23/2016 - 18:16
    This past Thursday marked the one-year anniversary of the US stock market’s death when stocks saw their last high. Market bulls have spent a year looking like the walking dead. They’ve...

Bitcoin Hits New Record, Crosses $250

Tyler Durden's picture


It seem like it was only yesterday that Bitcoin crossed $200 for the first time. Oh wait, it was.  It is now 24 hours later, and as parabolic rises imply, it is only "fair" that the price of the electronic currency (expressed in the same currency that incidentally can be created out of thin air and is used to transact for BTC) is some 25% higher, or well over $250.... In one day.

As before we will merely continue to watch in quiet amazement as the parabolic chart gets parabolic-er, but we will suggest this: those who absolutely must chase this runaway chart should not "invest" one penny more than they are comfortable losing, and as we said before, "This leaves us with the question, which line item on the Fed's Balance Sheet is 'Virtual Currency Transactions'... what better way to destroy an up and coming currency competitor than to blow a bubble in it and explode it?" Because the fervor for BTC now will only turn to all out loathing and disgust if and when one of the major buyers in the illiquid market decided to take out all stops to the downside (if only Mt Gox had stops that is) and send the price of BTC, expressed in paper money and thus analyzed not as a currency but as an asset, plunging.

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Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:08 | 3430247 A_Dog
A_Dog's picture

Woke up at exactly 6:00. I need no alarm clock. Two women saw my bitcoin investment and woke me by sucking my cock, which by the way is 17 and a half inches. I didn't need to shower, because my body self cleanses and mypores emit the manliest cologne possible.

I got in my 2013 Lamborghini Murcielago that I bought for 10 bitcoins and another one of my fuck buddies was waiting in the passenger seat. She was in the car all night, because she couldn't sleep without me having penetrated her. 

She hopped on me and started riding my dick while I squeezed her tits and drove with my knees. In three seconds, I arrived at the gym, which was fifty miles away. I threw her off me, and she quickly returned to the passenger seat, where she would sit until I got back. When I got out the car, I flexed.

My bulging, huge, muscles ripped my shirt off, and six women lined up. We had an orgy, which didn't last too long. Each woman climaxed when my cock came within five inches of her pussy, and went into an eternal state of euphoria after I put it in. I came, and three hundred gallons of semen shot out. It landed in Ghana, and ended the drought.

I hovered into the gym, because the ground was too scared of my calf muscles to touch my feet. After benching seven thousand tons, I squatted four million kilograms. I started doing my four hundred laps around California, but I got a phone call. It was a conference call with nineteen supermodels and bitcoin president. 

They orgasmed after hearing my voice. My fuck buddy in the car was getting lonely, so I went back. She sucked me off as I took the three second drive back home. I left her in the car and went inside, to type this to you. Be honored. Bitcoins rule.


Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:11 | 3430268 GetZeeGold
GetZeeGold's picture



See the glory.....of the Royal Scam.



Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:18 | 3430313 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

if this hockey stick is as legitimate as al gores climate change hockey stick, then lookout below

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:22 | 3430332 New England Patriot
New England Patriot's picture

But will it bloom every spring?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:42 | 3430405 MagicHandPuppet
MagicHandPuppet's picture

How do I buy bitcoin shorts?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:53 | 3430444 The Juggernaut
The Juggernaut's picture

THIS is how gold should perform if it wasnt was control by JPMorgan

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:57 | 3430474 draug
draug's picture

"Why isn't my gold rocketing in value? The guy on the internet said it would. It's not FAIR!"

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:01 | 3430481 kaiserhoff
kaiserhoff's picture

It's a momentum trade, Tyler.

Ain't ya learnt nuttin'?

Now...., what can I pair that with.  Oh yeah.

KARDASHIAN   VIRGINITY...   2 microseconds ahead of you, Hundin.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:13 | 3430562 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture




Don't you?

Don't you?

Have an i-dea?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VRfAOSHAEA  (volume to LOUD)

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 14:25 | 3432488 NewThor
NewThor's picture

The King has no Bitcoin clothes!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:55 | 3430463 draug
draug's picture

The conspiracy theories ("the central banks are doing it") are just stupid. This rise in BTC is easy enough to explain: bitcoin has gone viral, with some extra help from the Euro/Cyprus crisis. Just look at all the media attention it's gathering right now, bringing in lots of new people who try it out. In a thin market like BTC this has an enormous impact.

It's impossible to say how much of todays valuation will go away when the speculative premium pops, my guess is that right now is a horrible time to buy BTC. However, after it pops there will still likely be more total users than before the bubble started, so I'm a long term optimist.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:58 | 3430477 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Some people refuse to take responsibility for anything, and thus, it's far easier to blame some invisible entity for something they think just ain't so.

Not saying that the BIS doesn't exist, etc, but some of the shit I've heard on the Alex Jones show frankly makes me question whether I should laugh or cry.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:58 | 3430469 EscapeKey
EscapeKey's picture

Step 1: Go long bitcoin.

Step 2: Short bitcoin, borrowing your own long in the process. But obviously, you have to promise yourself that you'll return your bitcoin at a later point, or you won't get to borrow your bitcoin.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:01 | 3430488 deKevelioc
deKevelioc's picture

DARPA. the mystery developer of Bitcoin, will come out with a future after every PM investor dumps his real money to jump aboard the Bitcoin train.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 10:06 | 3430865 Scarlett
Scarlett's picture

I think DARPA was a little naïve to release open-source code that's basically tried and true and everybody understands.  


At any rate, /r/bitcoin is growing super-exponentially.  Now reaching 1000 new subscribers per day, and accelerating super-exponentially.  There is still fuel to go.  



Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:05 | 3430515 Dingleberry
Dingleberry's picture

Bitcoin chart looks like one showing the price of half-eaten boxes of Twinkies on ebay when you fat fuckers were panicking about them going out of business.

When bitcoins can be used for hookers and coke, wake me up. I'm all in at that point.


Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:10 | 3430558 draug
draug's picture

There's already a large black market economy using bitcoin. Not sure about hookers but you can probably find coke pretty easily.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:19 | 3430630 fuu
fuu's picture

See reddit.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:12 | 3430563 Wile-E-Coyote
Wile-E-Coyote's picture

Why do I get the feeling bitcoin is a Muppet trap.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:26 | 3430348 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Ha!  Plus one for the "Al Gore hockey stick" remembrance.  Wake me when I can buy diesel for my tractors with bitcoin.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:53 | 3430416 vmromk
vmromk's picture

Selling all my physical gold & silver and going all in on Bitcoin.

Then when it blows up, I'll have no excuse but to blow my brains out.


Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:20 | 3430325 WmMcK
WmMcK's picture

"He reads the letter
How they are paid in gold
Just to babble in the back room
All night and waste their time
And they wandered in
From the city of St. John without a dime."

... Lies of riches ...

In the land of milk and honey --
oops that's from Can't Buy a Thrill,
another ancient relic.

Love all of the Dan.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:55 | 3430452 Smegley Wanxalot
Smegley Wanxalot's picture

No worries


Soon enough there will be a Federal Bitcoin Reserve Bank, and then and only then through Computative Easing will there be enough bitcoins to fill the needs and demands of a growing world economy which shall not be lynched on a Cross Of Gold.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:10 | 3430271 CH1
CH1's picture

I think everyone is expecting a pullback at some point here.

The question is long-term demand. Either it's there (and it should be) or it's not.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:10 | 3430280 unrulian
unrulian's picture

it's going to go up forever....



Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:15 | 3430305 NewThor
NewThor's picture

Speaking of things that are digital and doing AWESOME right now.

Part 2 of my Epic Series Comet ISON WTF NASA?

Is hot off the press....


Part 1 is here...


Enjoy, bitchez!


Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:44 | 3430418 kridkrid
kridkrid's picture

that was pretty funny. My attention span only got me through 2 minutes of the first installment, but funny.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:18 | 3430310 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

<ZOMG> Buy now or get priced out...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:22 | 3430324 NewThor
NewThor's picture


in digital bullets. They are going to be awesome as soon

as they are invented properly.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:45 | 3430420 jbvtme
jbvtme's picture

with a 4D printer?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:19 | 3430312 Anasteus
Anasteus's picture

A must-have desktop wallpaper for all Bitcoin freaks...


Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:43 | 3430411 draug
draug's picture

We've had this exact pattern once before, when BTC after some media attention exploded to the "ridiculous" valuation of $30 - before collapsing. But note that it never collapsed back to anywhere near the pre-bubble values. I suspect the same will happen here. BTC can hit $300-$500 easy from this point before the bubble pops. But it won't go back down all the way. In fact bitcoin may continue to rise towards a stable value through a series of violent bubbles.

It's hard to predict the future, but long term I'm a BTC bull.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 11:19 | 3431472 licutis
licutis's picture

The price only colapsed due to the hack and crash of mtgox, its really hard to say what would have happened if mtgox remained secure at that time. 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:49 | 3430437 deKevelioc
deKevelioc's picture

"Pullback?"  Sure, buy on the dips, and watch this thing crash on your face.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:07 | 3430534 deKevelioc
deKevelioc's picture

You must be joking; someone junks my comment.  Now we really know that this thing is a bubble.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:26 | 3430683 deKevelioc
deKevelioc's picture

Now stop that junking.  It's not funny.  I mean it, seriously.  I'll tell your mother.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 16:38 | 3433502 deKevelioc
deKevelioc's picture

It's 4:34 p.m.; do you know the price of a Bitcoin?  It crashed in your face, as I suggested.  Come on, people, get the real thing: gold and, especially, silver.  Stop playing around and get the physical stuff.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:10 | 3430272 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Careful with that Murcielago: Fire-hazard!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:25 | 3430346 PaperWillBurn
PaperWillBurn's picture


No Murcielago in 2013

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:30 | 3430360 Zgangsta
Zgangsta's picture

But everything else was absolutely true.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:10 | 3430274 lickspitler
lickspitler's picture

Increment BITCHEZ

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:19 | 3430317 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

Just a little more hype and bravado and you’ll have the script for a Dos Equis commercial.

“Stay greedy my friends”

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:31 | 3430340 A_Dog
A_Dog's picture


I'm working on it.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:30 | 3430368 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

You just characterized what the Get.Off.My.Lawn crowd thinks about the mentality of bitcoiners...


Remember folks, francis_sawyer is the resident nutjob around here...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 08:56 | 3430461 AlaricBalth
AlaricBalth's picture

Your comment allowed me a moment to reminisce about growing up in the '60s and 70's. I recall playing baseball on the backyard. One time, one of my buddies nailed a liner into the neighbors bushes behind his house. I ran over to retrieve it and the this old dude came out yelling at me, "get out of here!" I ran like hell and he kept our ball. Later that night my buds and I put some sugar in his gas tank. ;-)

I don't see the kids playing ball outside anymore. Kinda sad...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:03 | 3430497 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"sugar in the gas tank"  - fortunately, by the time we were kids, we knew where the Roundup was and how to use it.  That old man never did figure out why nothing ever grew in his yard again, ever...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:11 | 3430573 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

We just broke into his house that night, put as knife to his throat and gave him 30 days to sell his house and move out.


He was gone in a week.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:20 | 3430636 Ignatius
Ignatius's picture


Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:41 | 3430774 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

Unfortunately, this opld man was a well armed and and trained Vietnam Vet.  Wasn't going to go threre.  Be careful what you wish for.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 09:03 | 3430508 CH1
CH1's picture

I don't see the kids playing ball outside anymore. Kinda sad...

It is. Of course, parents these days know that every person on the street is a pedophile killer.

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