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It Would Cost Less Than Half To Put Inmates On Carnival Cruise Ships Than To Keep Them Locked Up In Jail

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Virtual currencies are not the only ones having a bad day, at least in USD-denominated terms (which for all those bullish BitCoin, or Gold, or Silver the fiat-alternative currency, not the asset, should make all the difference in the world - alas most people still don't grasp the difference). Another entity that has seen better times is the terrifying accident-magnet also known Carnival Cruises. Following what seemed an endless barrage of TV crews scouring Carnival cruise ships, bringing a new definition to the term "poop deck", the inevitable has finally happened: CCL has been forced to admit that absent changing something very drastically, it is doomed. And since it can't or won't afford to spend billions on CapEx to actually repair and modernize its assets (like virtually every other S&P500 company), it has done the only thing it can: crush prices, and pray to make up for this in volume and impulse purchases what it is about to lose in cruise revenues. As Bloomberg reports, in order to "entice" customers to come back to the good life, Carnival is now offering a cruise at the low, low price of $38 a night, or less than a stay at a Motel 8.

Bloomberg:

Carnival Corp. (CCL) is offering a Caribbean cruise for as little as $38 a night, less than a stay at Motel 6, after an engine fire on the Triumph stranded passengers at sea for several days.

 

A four-night trip on Carnival’s Imagination, leaving Miami on April 22, costs $149 a person, including meals and some beverages, according to the cruise company’s website yesterday. The lowest nightly rate at the budget-priced Motel 6 chain was $39.99, according to an online ad.

 

“The prices did go down,” said Manny Lubian, president of Futura Travel Inc. in Miami. “An empty ship doesn’t make as much money. They’d rather have bodies in them, buying drinks and spending money.”

 

Vance Gulliksen, a spokesman for the world’s largest cruise operator, declined to comment on pricing. The Imagination’s four-night itinerary includes stops in Key West, Florida, and Cozumel, Mexico, according to the website.

 

The week was expected to be slow, following spring break in the U.S. and tax season, Lubian said.

 

Immediately after the fire, cruises on the Triumph were offered as low as $319 a person for four nights, or $80 a night, after its return to service later this year. Today, the lowest advertised price for a five-night trip on the Triumph out of Galveston, Texas, with stops in Cozumel and the Yucatan, was $289, or $58 a night, for an Oct. 7 departure.

 

The $149 fare on the Imagination is nonrefundable and based on two travelers, according to the website. Government fees and taxes bring the total to $454 for two.

A slightly more morbid comparison indicates that it would cost US taxpayers half as much to put up incarcerated inmates on luxury cruise ships than to keep them detained in prison, which according to the Bureau of Justice spent $74 billion on corrections back in 2007 (one imagines the numbers os substantially higher now), to keep 2,419,241 inmates in federal, state and local lockup. This amounts to $84 per inmate per night, or about double what Carnival's current going rate is.

In other words, US taxpayers would benefit if the prisoners from America's overcrowded jails were merely transported to Carnival and other "luxury" cruiseliners. Yes, the number of guards would be substantially cut back and the administration would have fewer taxpayer purchased "government worker" votes going its way, but it would be a win-win for everyone else.

As for the prisoners stuck on a boat in the middle of the Ocean - just where would they escape to?

 

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Wed, 04/10/2013 - 17:54 | 3433948 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

This would constitute cruel and unusual punishment.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:00 | 3433965 prains
prains's picture

with the highest incarceration rate in the world and more people behind bars than any other country, you'd think there was some < economy in scale>

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:09 | 3434012 PLira
PLira's picture

with the highest incarceration rate in the world and more people behind bars than any other country, you'd think there was some < economy in scale>

 

I keep wondering what the hell is going to happen to these millions upon millions of convicts if/when this whole thing goes all asplody. Something to ponder as it will ultimately affect everyone no matter the distance from the lock ups.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:16 | 3434032 AssFire
AssFire's picture

I can only imagine the Somali pirates' surprise as they suddenly realize their mistake.

Uh Oh, The poop deck renamed the log ride

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:18 | 3434040 Atlas Shrugged
Atlas Shrugged's picture

We are currently using that ugly prison ship, called the Bibby Renassance, as an accomodation vessel for workers on the Gorgon LNG project. It was repainted and towed to Western Australia about 18 months ago.

Check out the after photos:

http://www.bibbymaritime.com/media/10611/bibby_renaissance_brochure.pdf

and;

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/breaking/12300113/barge-workers-wal...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:18 | 3434044 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Ahoy In-mateys! Avast Ye Scurvy Banker Dogs! Cap'n Corzine be leadin' this cruise to plunder Cyprus gold! All hands on deck! We're rootin' tootin' and lootin' before we're scootin'! 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:29 | 3434085 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Now that's what I call a "Pound Me In the Ass" prison...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:50 | 3434147 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Impressive. The brochure says there's 2 AMPs on board.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:11 | 3434207 Zer0head
Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:42 | 3434770 prains
prains's picture

is there a package deal?

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 08:17 | 3435674 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

The $149 fare on the Imagination is nonrefundable and based on two travelers, according to the website. Government fees and taxes bring the total to $454 for two

your ticket $149

wifes ticket $149

asshole uncles ticket $156

.gov fees and taxes more than half the cost of my ticket?

that alone is enuf for me to never take a cruise

just like the TSA is enuf for me to never fly again

though i used to enjoy a nice flight to a little island or vegas once or twice a year, i dont enjoy it enuf to deal with government thuggery

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 22:24 | 3434930 Rusty Diggins
Rusty Diggins's picture

Thar she blows!

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 00:16 | 3435241 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

francis_sawyer

"Now that's what I call a "Pound Me In the Ass" prison..."

Yep, Bubba's Love Boat

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:46 | 3434129 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Argh!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:56 | 3434354 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

Yes, and the water slide the raw sewage flume.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:46 | 3434126 dtwn
dtwn's picture

Yup, been thinkin the same thing.  I hope that lack of funds eventually will result in the release of non-violent drug offenders, ridiculous california 3 strikes lifers etc, but if S trully HTF, then there could be some large jail breaks.  Hmmm, tens of thousands of hardened criminals back on the streets.  With vendettas against the rest of society.  Buy it cheap, stack it deep.  Ammo that is.  And gold.  And food.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:52 | 3434148 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

In the book The Stand the survivors starved in their cells.

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 01:38 | 3435363 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Thanks for spoiling the book.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:12 | 3434209 1100-TACTICAL-12
1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

PLira , the question you ponder, is why I will not be handing my 30rd mags over to any sumbitch..

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:00 | 3434175 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Carnage Criuse Lines.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:19 | 3434459 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

Water World for criminals...if only we could place all the politicans and bankers on a carnival cruise ship and send it off in the ocean, the world would be a better happier place

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:56 | 3434600 petolo
petolo's picture

Sorry, but we would have to deploy an entire fleet ;on second thought lengthening the anchor chain and lots of manacles might suffice.  Lots of room in the cargo holds . Now, where do we position Corzine?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:14 | 3433980 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

But how many would be "scared straight"?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 23:21 | 3435110 bilejones
bilejones's picture

The gay ones?

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 07:44 | 3435619 rbg81
rbg81's picture

A humorous but totally unfounded comparison.  People aren't trying to escape from a cruise ship (as they PAID to go along for the ride) and the passengers usually aren't inclined to harm the crew.  Totally different requirements.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 17:56 | 3433950 JeremyWS
JeremyWS's picture

this just angers me...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 17:57 | 3433958 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Prisons are big business here in the "land of the free." Lots of money in the incarceration racket.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:04 | 3433988 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

You could be locked up merely for mentioning that.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:22 | 3434059 toady
toady's picture

They were investigating the governor here in Arizona for bad contracts with her cousins mother's uncle to run Arizona prisons.

Just keeping the money in the family ...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:14 | 3434218 OutLookingIn
OutLookingIn's picture

Sheriff Joe Arpagio has the right idea.

Inmates live in tents.

Work and buy their own food.

ANY infraction of the rules, results in more time.

Must wear 'PINK' prison uniforms, including under garments!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:50 | 3434339 Overfed
Overfed's picture

I would be a lot more sympathetic to Shreiif Joe's ideas if only so many people weren't serving such long sentences for such bullshit charges. Let's decriminalize a whole lot of shit first, then making jail suck won't be necessary.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:23 | 3434478 Pants McPants
Pants McPants's picture

Indeed.  Crime should be limited to aggression against person(s) and/or person(s) property.  The overwhelming majority of folks in prison are there because of victimless crimes like drug use.

The current US prison system is a racket!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:11 | 3434649 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

I agree mostly. To call drug use victimless is a stretch.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 23:21 | 3435108 bilejones
bilejones's picture

Agree.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:11 | 3434210 The Second Rule
The Second Rule's picture

Wackenboat

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:59 | 3434371 Pizza man
Pizza man's picture

I thot we were free market capitalists? Corrections Corp does it better and cheaper. Isn't that what we want the private sector to do?

Will you bitch about private schools making money even as they do the job for less and produce smarter children?

"LOTSA MONEY IN THE EDUCATION RACKET".

Just sayin', bro.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:31 | 3434502 Pants McPants
Pants McPants's picture

I get what you're saying, but you overlooked the fact that prisons are downstream of the laws.  Restricting crime to aggression against person and/or property would (I'm guessing) reduce prison population by 90%.

The current US system reflects a symbiotic relationship between corrupt entities: law writers, law enforcement, administratory, and 'rehabilitation' services.  Might be better to think of it as one giant circle jerk.

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 00:19 | 3435249 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Government destruction of jobs adds to the pool of private redistributionists in society.

 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 17:57 | 3433959 1000924014093
1000924014093's picture

Yeah, but who would want to be stuck in the foul cesspit of a Carnival cruise ship?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:48 | 3434333 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Carnival is now offering a cruise at the low, low price of $38 a night, or less than a stay at a Motel 8.

Do you have to bring your own food, and shit?.

After the latest SEVERAL episodes, you COULD NOT PAY ME to take Carnival anywhere.(they are outside the regulatory controls of any nation).That's why they are death traps.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:46 | 3434557 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Only a retard would get on a Carnival ship or any cruise ship.  They pay no income tax as the PRitzkers and israeli Arinson are friend of O.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:07 | 3434632 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

They pay no tax because they set up in a foreign jurisdiction to escape theft from the US Treasury.

They provide a service and market forces decide whether they succeed or fail, unlike the banks

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 04:40 | 3435486 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Hmm, market forces such as being stranded at sea for a week?  Let the crushin' begin!

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 06:17 | 3435538 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

the american justice system for what it is worth:

A federal jury has found a former Pennsylvania judge guilty of participating in a so-called "kids for cash" scheme, in which he received money in exchange for sending juvenile offenders to for-profit youth jails over the years. Former Luzerne County Judge Mark Ciavarella, Jr., was convicted Friday of accepting bribes and kickbacks for putting juveniles into detention centers operated by PA Child Care and a sister company, Western Pennsylvania Child Care. Ciavarella and another judge, Michael Conahan, are said to have received $2.6 million for their efforts. Ciavarella faces a maximum sentence of 157 years in prison, in addition to a class action lawsuit on behalf of the youths’ families. For more on this story, we are joined by Marsha Levick of the Juvenile Law Center and to Sandy Fonzo, who believes her son’s suicide was related to his treatment by Ciavarella. [includes rush transcript]

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 17:58 | 3433962 tabasco71
tabasco71's picture

I guess if they were out in the ocean on CCL ships, there is also a high chance they would sink and drown - the world would be less a few hundred psychopaths...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:20 | 3434054 XitSam
XitSam's picture

The psychopaths that matter are in Washington D.C.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:49 | 3434136 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Speaking of sunken cesspools

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:00 | 3433964 q99x2
q99x2's picture

How about setting up a prototype using the Federal Reserve Board members and the Justice Department as inmates.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:33 | 3434735 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

Can it be a 'Poseidon Adventure' Cruise?    please, please.....  or maybe one traveling off the Somalian coast.... we can pay the priates to take over the ship... would be cheaper for us in the long run.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:02 | 3433972 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Sailing the Seven Seas with a crew from Indonesia, your cargo all over 70+, with minimum levels of bacterial control. I'm not joking when I warned my dear Grandparents off the QE2, let alone the bargain bucket end of the spectrum.

 

p.s.

 

I'm sadly disappointed at the lack of snark attaching this to the infamous "floating Island" Libertarian dream; that would have been spicy. Although, I do remember a story about an inspirational 70yr old lady who lived her last years on such a vessel... She had done the math, and apparently enjoyed herself (and if you missed it, the story is true, but so is the "dying in the Ritz" London angle).

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:02 | 3433979 Agent P
Agent P's picture

Bullets are cheaper still...for now at least.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:27 | 3434075 canstacker
canstacker's picture

Most of these people are in jail for small victimless crimes, like owning part of a plant. Although the real criminals won't be going on any cruises either because they already own yachts

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:01 | 3433981 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

or send them to college... no kidding... even that is cheaper...

livestock that earns money.... EPS... = EPI (earnings per inmate)

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:05 | 3433990 Seasmoke
Seasmoke's picture

When I saw pictures of the poop deck , they sure looked like inmates to me. Where do they find these people ???

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:04 | 3433993 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

Galley slaves.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:08 | 3434006 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

formally known as THE MIDDLE CLASS!!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:07 | 3434002 The Abstraction...
The Abstraction of Justice's picture

It costs about 20 pennies  a night to keep a prison in a cell. The extra cost which brings it up to the official figure, is the bit added on by lawyers.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:59 | 3434176 object_orient
object_orient's picture

It takes about 20 seconds to make up some bullshit and sling it on a message board. Well done.

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 04:34 | 3435478 The Abstraction...
The Abstraction of Justice's picture

lawyer lovers.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:06 | 3434004 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

Better to call it the What The Heck Deck

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:12 | 3434019 sunnyside
sunnyside's picture

I really don't think I need to pay $38 for a case of food poisoning or a plastic bag to shit it.

 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:14 | 3434022 Mototard at Large
Mototard at Large's picture

Hey ZHers,

 

As a former risk manager for a certain large financial entity (of a central orientation) , I am going to be writing a book about savers and takers.  Please don’t be shocked if I say it will be critical of certain aspects of our current financial system. 

 

The general outline of the book will be that an upcoming struggle is emerging in civil society.  It will be between those who have money but lack the political and financial power to defend it, and those who have the political clout to take it. 

 

The savers and the takers.

 

This will happen because the capitalist system has been turned into a financialist system. The economy is no longer served by the banks and financial institutions.  We are now at a point where the banks force the economy to serve them.  Those who benefit are the financial class, their servants in the political class and the large international organizations such as the EU, the IMF and the World Bank.  Those who suffer are the rest who are trapped in the system and cannot find the means to escape it – but they do have small amounts of saved money or equity.

 

Who are the savers? In short, it is those people who look to their own future and have taken decisions to set aside “value” from today and hold it for use tomorrow.  This includes those with savings deposits, pension funds (401K, RRSP, ISA etc) and those who have equity in their homes. It also includes those who hold small physical amounts of precious commodities such as silver, gold and palladium.

 

The takers are those governments with unsustainably high debt levels and high levels of unfunded future liabilities. In cooperation with them are the major international banks that have over leveraged themselves as well as supra-international institutions such as the EU.

 

This meme – savers and takers – will shape much of the political and economic discourse over the next few years.  The existing examples of where this has occurred have been Greece, Spain, Ireland and Portugal.  How this all plays out is not clear, but there are lessons to be learned about the limits of the individual and potential social unrest. 

 

You can see the rest of an article which describes the outline of the book at: http://tinyurl.com/dxsqjbe

 

or at

 

http://economicsfortherestofus1.blogspot.ca/2013/04/savers-and-takers-new-fault-lines-and.html

 

 

If you have any comments, ideas or whatever, feel free to leave comments and I will try and answer them.  Send the URL to friends if you think this is a worthy project.

 

The Honest Ex-Banker

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:24 | 3434066 enloe creek
enloe creek's picture

think dylan ratigan covered that already, 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:29 | 3434079 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Fight Club.  Who did you fight your first day?  Show us your black eye.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:31 | 3434093 fuu
fuu's picture

Spam more please.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:56 | 3434160 Radical Marijuana
Radical Marijuana's picture

Motoard, I already added my reply to your comment, where you made it on the WilliamBanzai bitcoin illustrations article ...

Of course, my general kind of bla, bla, blah on that topic is the same thing that goes around and around, again and again, since we are all stuck in the same rut, which is getting deeper and deeper. There is no reasonable chances that I can see of getting out of those ruts, other than wearing them down deeper and deeper, until we crash out through the worn out bottom of those ruts ...

The whole world is controlled by lies, backed by violence, in which the legalized lies, backed by the legalized violence, are the worst. America "leads" the world in that kind of psychotic system! Thus, the runaway incarceration rates are primarily due to the drug wars, which are the main symptom of the FACT that almost everything America is doing these days is DEBT SLAVERY, BACKED BY WARS BASED ON DECEITS.

That is how headed towards Debt Insanity, backed by more Insane War, along with martial law ... Within that context, I doubt that writing any books, or articles, much less making any comments upon those, is going to make any significant difference.

Just like every other aspect of the runaway AMERICAN INSANITY, the profit from prisons industry is like the profit from disease system, and profit from junk food system, and every other social system that dominates American, and most of the rest of world today, where a tiny minority is doing fantastically well, while they destroy the overall health of society as a whole, and the natural world, with their runaway triumphant financial frauds, backed by force.

The criminal justice system in the USA is totally insane because the worst criminals have captured almost total control over the government. ... There is no apparent solution to that problem, other than the eventual psychotic collapse into chaos of that entire civilization.

Although I like to daydream about some political science fiction alternatives, I can not believe in those. In the context of your comments, Mototard, the "savers" are being forced to pay for incarcerating prisoners in ways which are guaranteed to never rehabilitate them, since there is not the slightest shreds of truth or justice left in the ways that those prisoners are being treated.

The moronic middle classes are being systematically destroyed, and betrayed, by their beliefs and agreements with utterly insane and counterproductive ways to treat the lower classes, by criminalizing them, more and more. That is NOT happening by accident, or due to some moral mistake. That is happening due to the malicious triumphs of the biggest gangsters being able to control the government, so that what the government does enables every level of other gangsters to flourish.

The fascist plutocracy is based on the triumph of organized crime, and it benefits from everything else that enables organized crime on every level to flourish, including having more and more excuses to build a bigger and bigger fascist police state, with more prisoners, in more privatized prisons.

America is like a household which has suffered a home invasion. The American Family has had a gang of criminals move in, and take over what that household does. Obviously, everything done benefits the short-term interests of those criminals, while destroying the overall American Family more and more ...

Unfortunately, there are no practical and realistic ways for the American Family to take back over control of its own house. Instead, the clear path we are on is for the parasites to kill their host. The current runaway systems of Debt Slavery, backed by Wars Based on Deceits, covers pretty well EVERYTHING that the government of the USA is doing, both domestically, as well as in foreign affairs.

Therefore, as far as I can tell, almost nothing is going to be left of the savers. The takers will continue to take control, and take everything ... although, eventually that will boomerang around and take them down too ... It is almost impossible to imagine how anything is going to be saved!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:21 | 3434244 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

Wholely endorse it....buuuut, don't be suprised when everyone ignores it.  The best you can probably hope for is some shill like Krugman to attach it.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:13 | 3434025 Papasmurf
Papasmurf's picture

 

It Would Cost Less Than Half To Put Inmates On Carnival Cruise Ships Than To Keep Them Locked Up In Jail

 

You can't do this.  It is unlawful to administer cruel and unusual punishment.  (Unless you're in Arizona, where all bets are off)

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:14 | 3434031 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

Having no working toilet and the air permeated with foul odors, would be considered cruel and unusual punishment.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:17 | 3434034 Atlas Shrugged
Atlas Shrugged's picture

We are currently using that ugly prison ship, called the Bibby Renassance, as an accomodation vessel for workers on the Gorgon LNG project. It was repainted and towed to Western Australia about 18 months ago.

Check out the after photos:

http://www.bibbymaritime.com/media/10611/bibby_renaissance_brochure.pdf

and;

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/breaking/12300113/barge-workers-walk-off-in-safety-dispute/

 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:25 | 3434035 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I have a better idea. Let's load the ship up with bankers and let it set sail with no food or water. We can make a reality TV show watching the little parasites eat each other. Every once in a while we can have a helicopter drop off some food and water. It will bring in great ratings for old media.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:30 | 3434084 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

Cannibalism?  That would be a pleasure cruise for that bunch of psychos.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:19 | 3434234 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You're probably right. Well I gave it my best shot.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:57 | 3434347 Savyindallas
Savyindallas's picture

Everyone once in a while throw one off the side to the sharks  - It would make for great TV. 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:21 | 3434050 piceridu
piceridu's picture

I just did the math...1 out every 124 people in the US is in jail! Could the rest be on disability, unemployment, collecting food stamps or social security?

Just makes me so proud to be an American.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:31 | 3434092 machinegear
machinegear's picture

Piceridu I was thinking along the same lines.

Has anyone put the counts together for everyone who is jail or participating in a government welfare program? I ask because I am too tired pulling the wagon to turn around and check how many are in it.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:23 | 3434063 Yen Cross
Yen Cross's picture

     'Alcatraz Cruise Lines llc.' has a nice ring to it. ;-)

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:26 | 3434073 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

I'm good with the prisoner transfer to Carnival, but I want everyone to talk and dress like a pirate. 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:28 | 3434074 wisefool
wisefool's picture

Wesley Snipes starred in a movie called "Passenger 57" but he is out of jail now. Anybody want to find out if he is up for a sequel?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:29 | 3434076 Kiss My Iceland...
Kiss My Icelandic Ass's picture

" ... less than a stay at a Motel 8."

I thought it was Motel 6 ? But, that's inflation for you ...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:30 | 3434087 RockyRacoon
RockyRacoon's picture

...inflation, indeed.   'Tis a bitch, eh?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:33 | 3434090 Mine Is Bigger
Mine Is Bigger's picture

"An empty ship doesn't make as much money.  They'd rather have BODIES in them"???  LOL  The word should have been PEOPLE.  You wouldn't want creat wrong impressions.  The spokesperson should be more careful.  Or is that their next plan?  First poop.  And bodies next???

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:07 | 3434198 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

Not just bodies, but wide bodies (at least the one's I've seen).  But yes... very bad impression from the spokesperson.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:35 | 3434753 Miffed Microbio...
Miffed Microbiologist's picture

Yes, endless GMO buffets don't make eye candy I'm afraid. But what else are they going to do, hike the Alps? Sedentary people choose sedentary vacations. Theme parks must have enlarging the seats as a top priority or they'll soon run out of customers.

Miffed;-)

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:36 | 3434098 noless
noless's picture

zh should sponsor a contingent for one of these cruises, could make for some interesting conversation.

this world is insane.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:39 | 3434108 pursueliberty
pursueliberty's picture

I got stitches on a carnival cruise a few years ago.  A very drunken day in cozumel with too many $1 dos equis.  I was dancing with my wife and slipped and busted my knee wide open.

 

Point being, even medical care is cheaper.  The stitches and a few vicodin were under $120.  If it would have happened on the boat it would've been free.  It was a foreign md, but aren't most all them. 

That was my last carnival cruise, too much trash on the boat.  I'd hate to see the trash $38 a night puts on the boat, the rate on the last one was closer to $100.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:48 | 3434130 flacorps
flacorps's picture

The British did keep prisoners in hulks moored along the Thames.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:18 | 3434217 Monedas
Monedas's picture

I never really read Great Expectations in English class .... but I did finally read it a couple of years ago .... when I read Silas Marner !  Silas Marner, Scrooge McDuck, Hemingway .... you can keep all the other books !

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:16 | 3434225 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

And during the Revolution...

During the war, at least 16 hulks, including the infamous HMS Jersey, were placed by British authorities in the waters of Wallabout Bay off the shores of Brooklyn, New York as a place of incarceration for many thousands of American soldiers and sailors during about 1776–83.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prisoners_in_the_American_Revolutionary_War

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:09 | 3434163 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Throw ém all on Devil's island .... and let ém sort it out .... and create their own Utopia .... I'm talking about the PRISON EMPLOYEES !  $200K+ public servants (with all their unfunded liabilities) cost more than $10K Myanmarians ?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:59 | 3434172 FIAT
FIAT's picture

Would cost even less to give them a one way trip to africa, mexico, or isntreal

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:02 | 3434185 KashNCarry
KashNCarry's picture

They'd have to pay me $38 a night and a whole hell of a lot more to be cast adrift on one of their boats with shit up to my ears!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:08 | 3434193 Monedas
Monedas's picture

I love these comparisons .... but .... it's more accurate to say .... it cost half as a much for a civilized gentlemen to spend a day on a cruise ship .... than it cost the taxpayers to imprison .... people who should have been shot !

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:10 | 3434202 rsnoble
rsnoble's picture

Of course it would only cost half, you don't get to eat half the time on Carnival. LOL.  I'd like to say that if one of the ships sank no big loss but then again knowing the US court system probably 60% of them don't belong there anyway.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:38 | 3434291 Monedas
Monedas's picture

Put ém all on overloaded, shallow draft Asian ferries in shark infested waters .... if they get rowdy and capsize .... they will be Sushi for the sharks ?!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:49 | 3434335 FIAT
FIAT's picture

I doubt a shark would eat a nigger or a jew.

They're an apex predator.

Why feed on the scum of the earth?

 

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 01:37 | 3435360 Manic by Proxy
Manic by Proxy's picture

Thank you for confirming my theorem that if one surveys ZH blogsters, one can always find a knuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing zipper head offering shit as opinions.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:40 | 3434305 The Alarmist
The Alarmist's picture

We could also accomodate the Congress Critters and their staff for a mere pittance on these ships, so what is the point you are trying to make?  Maybe we should just jump ahead to the logical conclusion that our leaders should simply house us all on these ships and be done with it?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:59 | 3434359 Hetty Green
Hetty Green's picture

Will Carnival accept bitcoin for my booking?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:12 | 3434416 bilejones
bilejones's picture

Yeah but the Constitution forbids cruel and unusual punishment

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:12 | 3434418 denny69
denny69's picture

Bet the catering's yummy at $38 per.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:27 | 3434709 geewhiz
geewhiz's picture

We're out of salmon but we have some salmonella.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:26 | 3434488 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

If we can export manufacturing jobs why can't we export prison jobs?  I'm thinking we could send our prisoners to Bangladesh.  They'd be happy to care for them for probably $1 a day or less.  What a bargain that would be.  And when the prisoners came back they probably wouldn't commit any more crimes.

 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:41 | 3434542 The Disappointed
The Disappointed's picture

We still have the National Reserve Defence Fleet rotting in Suisun Bay.
Right near Pelican Bay Prison.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Defense_Reserve_Fleet

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:08 | 3434639 MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture

Poop deck!  Hee, hee!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:18 | 3434680 MilleniumJane
MilleniumJane's picture

1985 Carnival Cruise commercial, featuring Kathie Lee!  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BECwNurBbEQ

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:10 | 3434643 rosiescenario
rosiescenario's picture

California declined my modest proposal to 'offshore' the state prison system. Certainly there are many 3rd. world countries that could provide this service at 1/10th. the cost of doing here in CA. Why, only the other day, CNN was reporting on North Korea's excellent, self-sustaining prison system which produces an actual profit rather than being a drain on society. Perhaps they might even pay us to take our prisoners, but that is wishful thinking, since our demand for electronic gizmos is waning...

 

Lest I digress, one would also expect that there would be far fewer ex-cons returning to a life of crime if we were to use our heads and offshore this business. But yet again, obviously those special interest groups in D.C. will never permit this to happen. The average U.S. citizen always comes in sucking hind tit. What a shame....and those Carnival ships are now available for the transport...terrible opportunity cost here.

 

Speaking of prison, I have found it near impossible to buy any ammo anywhere....even the expensive, low velocity 22lr target rounds which sell at high prices are sold out at Midway. If I had slight paranoid inclinations, I would be worried, but fortunately Obama appears to be a pretty decent fellow....certainly the 2 BILLION rounds purchased by our domestic enforcement bureau's over the last 10 months is no cause for concern. (As point of comparison, the Iraq war would take 24 years to consume that amount).

 

 

 

 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 22:00 | 3434844 ableman28
ableman28's picture

Dude or dudette as the case may be.  Try Lucky Gunner online.  Real time inventory and every major caliber and many in large bulk containers.  Prices are higher but they have what they advertise and they deliver.

 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:17 | 3434682 americanspirit
americanspirit's picture

I think that this plan would run foul of the constitutional prohibition against 'cruel and unusual punishment'.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:40 | 3434767 Crash Overide
Crash Overide's picture

FOR PROFIT PRISONS  :(

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 22:46 | 3435002 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

Oh, as predicted by Kevin Costner: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=131Gzry382w

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 23:28 | 3435138 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

 

As for the prisoners stuck on a boat in the middle of the Ocean - just where would they escape to?

 

They could take over the ship and escape to some third world port. Carnival would have to hire lots of low-prices South African guards. But Carnival could probably make the numbers work, especially if they had both male and femal prisoners and could use orgies to keep the inmates occupied. A Carnival Prison Ship could also easily grind up prisoners secheduled for execution and pump them out to the sharks.

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 00:42 | 3435288 savagegoose
savagegoose's picture

 and you torpedo them for more savings?

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 01:19 | 3435338 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

It would also cost far less to keep them on welfare and give them an LCD TV and DVR (so they won't have to steal mine or anyone else's), than in jail.

I know because I know landlords with Sec.8 rentals. The Amer. Prison System is a frikkin racket, like ALL big budget programs that involve the Gov of USSA.

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 04:02 | 3435458 Hengist
Hengist's picture

Well you could use the ships to transport the prisoners to Australia.

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 04:14 | 3435462 Disenchanted
Disenchanted's picture

Well @ Motel 8(6), at least I don't have to shit in the hallway...

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 13:55 | 3437322 SmittyinLA
SmittyinLA's picture

They have to be moving/smuggling illegals if not now they will soon, what better way to fill up cruise ships than offering FREE US RESIDENCY WITH CRUISE. 

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