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It Would Cost Less Than Half To Put Inmates On Carnival Cruise Ships Than To Keep Them Locked Up In Jail

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Virtual currencies are not the only ones having a bad day, at least in USD-denominated terms (which for all those bullish BitCoin, or Gold, or Silver the fiat-alternative currency, not the asset, should make all the difference in the world - alas most people still don't grasp the difference). Another entity that has seen better times is the terrifying accident-magnet also known Carnival Cruises. Following what seemed an endless barrage of TV crews scouring Carnival cruise ships, bringing a new definition to the term "poop deck", the inevitable has finally happened: CCL has been forced to admit that absent changing something very drastically, it is doomed. And since it can't or won't afford to spend billions on CapEx to actually repair and modernize its assets (like virtually every other S&P500 company), it has done the only thing it can: crush prices, and pray to make up for this in volume and impulse purchases what it is about to lose in cruise revenues. As Bloomberg reports, in order to "entice" customers to come back to the good life, Carnival is now offering a cruise at the low, low price of $38 a night, or less than a stay at a Motel 8.

Bloomberg:

Carnival Corp. (CCL) is offering a Caribbean cruise for as little as $38 a night, less than a stay at Motel 6, after an engine fire on the Triumph stranded passengers at sea for several days.

 

A four-night trip on Carnival’s Imagination, leaving Miami on April 22, costs $149 a person, including meals and some beverages, according to the cruise company’s website yesterday. The lowest nightly rate at the budget-priced Motel 6 chain was $39.99, according to an online ad.

 

“The prices did go down,” said Manny Lubian, president of Futura Travel Inc. in Miami. “An empty ship doesn’t make as much money. They’d rather have bodies in them, buying drinks and spending money.”

 

Vance Gulliksen, a spokesman for the world’s largest cruise operator, declined to comment on pricing. The Imagination’s four-night itinerary includes stops in Key West, Florida, and Cozumel, Mexico, according to the website.

 

The week was expected to be slow, following spring break in the U.S. and tax season, Lubian said.

 

Immediately after the fire, cruises on the Triumph were offered as low as $319 a person for four nights, or $80 a night, after its return to service later this year. Today, the lowest advertised price for a five-night trip on the Triumph out of Galveston, Texas, with stops in Cozumel and the Yucatan, was $289, or $58 a night, for an Oct. 7 departure.

 

The $149 fare on the Imagination is nonrefundable and based on two travelers, according to the website. Government fees and taxes bring the total to $454 for two.

A slightly more morbid comparison indicates that it would cost US taxpayers half as much to put up incarcerated inmates on luxury cruise ships than to keep them detained in prison, which according to the Bureau of Justice spent $74 billion on corrections back in 2007 (one imagines the numbers os substantially higher now), to keep 2,419,241 inmates in federal, state and local lockup. This amounts to $84 per inmate per night, or about double what Carnival's current going rate is.

In other words, US taxpayers would benefit if the prisoners from America's overcrowded jails were merely transported to Carnival and other "luxury" cruiseliners. Yes, the number of guards would be substantially cut back and the administration would have fewer taxpayer purchased "government worker" votes going its way, but it would be a win-win for everyone else.

As for the prisoners stuck on a boat in the middle of the Ocean - just where would they escape to?

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Wed, 04/10/2013 - 17:54 | 3433948 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

This would constitute cruel and unusual punishment.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:00 | 3433965 prains
prains's picture

with the highest incarceration rate in the world and more people behind bars than any other country, you'd think there was some < economy in scale>

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:09 | 3434012 PLira
PLira's picture

with the highest incarceration rate in the world and more people behind bars than any other country, you'd think there was some < economy in scale>

 

I keep wondering what the hell is going to happen to these millions upon millions of convicts if/when this whole thing goes all asplody. Something to ponder as it will ultimately affect everyone no matter the distance from the lock ups.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:16 | 3434032 AssFire
AssFire's picture

I can only imagine the Somali pirates' surprise as they suddenly realize their mistake.

Uh Oh, The poop deck renamed the log ride

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:18 | 3434040 Atlas Shrugged
Atlas Shrugged's picture

We are currently using that ugly prison ship, called the Bibby Renassance, as an accomodation vessel for workers on the Gorgon LNG project. It was repainted and towed to Western Australia about 18 months ago.

Check out the after photos:

http://www.bibbymaritime.com/media/10611/bibby_renaissance_brochure.pdf

and;

http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/breaking/12300113/barge-workers-wal...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:18 | 3434044 krispkritter
krispkritter's picture

Ahoy In-mateys! Avast Ye Scurvy Banker Dogs! Cap'n Corzine be leadin' this cruise to plunder Cyprus gold! All hands on deck! We're rootin' tootin' and lootin' before we're scootin'! 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:29 | 3434085 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Now that's what I call a "Pound Me In the Ass" prison...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:50 | 3434147 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Impressive. The brochure says there's 2 AMPs on board.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:11 | 3434207 Zer0head
Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:42 | 3434770 prains
prains's picture

is there a package deal?

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 08:17 | 3435674 johnQpublic
johnQpublic's picture

The $149 fare on the Imagination is nonrefundable and based on two travelers, according to the website. Government fees and taxes bring the total to $454 for two

your ticket $149

wifes ticket $149

asshole uncles ticket $156

.gov fees and taxes more than half the cost of my ticket?

that alone is enuf for me to never take a cruise

just like the TSA is enuf for me to never fly again

though i used to enjoy a nice flight to a little island or vegas once or twice a year, i dont enjoy it enuf to deal with government thuggery

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 22:24 | 3434930 Rusty Diggins
Rusty Diggins's picture

Thar she blows!

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 00:16 | 3435241 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

francis_sawyer

"Now that's what I call a "Pound Me In the Ass" prison..."

Yep, Bubba's Love Boat

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:46 | 3434129 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Argh!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:56 | 3434354 msmith9962
msmith9962's picture

Yes, and the water slide the raw sewage flume.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:46 | 3434126 dtwn
dtwn's picture

Yup, been thinkin the same thing.  I hope that lack of funds eventually will result in the release of non-violent drug offenders, ridiculous california 3 strikes lifers etc, but if S trully HTF, then there could be some large jail breaks.  Hmmm, tens of thousands of hardened criminals back on the streets.  With vendettas against the rest of society.  Buy it cheap, stack it deep.  Ammo that is.  And gold.  And food.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:52 | 3434148 RafterManFMJ
RafterManFMJ's picture

In the book The Stand the survivors starved in their cells.

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 01:38 | 3435363 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Thanks for spoiling the book.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:12 | 3434209 1100-TACTICAL-12
1100-TACTICAL-12's picture

PLira , the question you ponder, is why I will not be handing my 30rd mags over to any sumbitch..

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:00 | 3434175 El Oregonian
El Oregonian's picture

Carnage Criuse Lines.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:19 | 3434459 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

Water World for criminals...if only we could place all the politicans and bankers on a carnival cruise ship and send it off in the ocean, the world would be a better happier place

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:56 | 3434600 petolo
petolo's picture

Sorry, but we would have to deploy an entire fleet ;on second thought lengthening the anchor chain and lots of manacles might suffice.  Lots of room in the cargo holds . Now, where do we position Corzine?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:14 | 3433980 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

But how many would be "scared straight"?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 23:21 | 3435110 bilejones
bilejones's picture

The gay ones?

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 07:44 | 3435619 rbg81
rbg81's picture

A humorous but totally unfounded comparison.  People aren't trying to escape from a cruise ship (as they PAID to go along for the ride) and the passengers usually aren't inclined to harm the crew.  Totally different requirements.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 17:56 | 3433950 JeremyWS
JeremyWS's picture

this just angers me...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 17:57 | 3433958 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Prisons are big business here in the "land of the free." Lots of money in the incarceration racket.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:04 | 3433988 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

You could be locked up merely for mentioning that.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:22 | 3434059 toady
toady's picture

They were investigating the governor here in Arizona for bad contracts with her cousins mother's uncle to run Arizona prisons.

Just keeping the money in the family ...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:14 | 3434218 OutLookingIn
OutLookingIn's picture

Sheriff Joe Arpagio has the right idea.

Inmates live in tents.

Work and buy their own food.

ANY infraction of the rules, results in more time.

Must wear 'PINK' prison uniforms, including under garments!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:50 | 3434339 Overfed
Overfed's picture

I would be a lot more sympathetic to Shreiif Joe's ideas if only so many people weren't serving such long sentences for such bullshit charges. Let's decriminalize a whole lot of shit first, then making jail suck won't be necessary.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:23 | 3434478 Pants McPants
Pants McPants's picture

Indeed.  Crime should be limited to aggression against person(s) and/or person(s) property.  The overwhelming majority of folks in prison are there because of victimless crimes like drug use.

The current US prison system is a racket!

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:11 | 3434649 JLee2027
JLee2027's picture

I agree mostly. To call drug use victimless is a stretch.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 23:21 | 3435108 bilejones
bilejones's picture

Agree.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:11 | 3434210 The Second Rule
The Second Rule's picture

Wackenboat

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:59 | 3434371 Pizza man
Pizza man's picture

I thot we were free market capitalists? Corrections Corp does it better and cheaper. Isn't that what we want the private sector to do?

Will you bitch about private schools making money even as they do the job for less and produce smarter children?

"LOTSA MONEY IN THE EDUCATION RACKET".

Just sayin', bro.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:31 | 3434502 Pants McPants
Pants McPants's picture

I get what you're saying, but you overlooked the fact that prisons are downstream of the laws.  Restricting crime to aggression against person and/or property would (I'm guessing) reduce prison population by 90%.

The current US system reflects a symbiotic relationship between corrupt entities: law writers, law enforcement, administratory, and 'rehabilitation' services.  Might be better to think of it as one giant circle jerk.

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 00:19 | 3435249 Anusocracy
Anusocracy's picture

Government destruction of jobs adds to the pool of private redistributionists in society.

 

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 17:57 | 3433959 1000924014093
1000924014093's picture

Yeah, but who would want to be stuck in the foul cesspit of a Carnival cruise ship?

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 19:48 | 3434333 DosZap
DosZap's picture

Carnival is now offering a cruise at the low, low price of $38 a night, or less than a stay at a Motel 8.

Do you have to bring your own food, and shit?.

After the latest SEVERAL episodes, you COULD NOT PAY ME to take Carnival anywhere.(they are outside the regulatory controls of any nation).That's why they are death traps.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 20:46 | 3434557 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Only a retard would get on a Carnival ship or any cruise ship.  They pay no income tax as the PRitzkers and israeli Arinson are friend of O.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:07 | 3434632 LasVegasDave
LasVegasDave's picture

They pay no tax because they set up in a foreign jurisdiction to escape theft from the US Treasury.

They provide a service and market forces decide whether they succeed or fail, unlike the banks

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 04:40 | 3435486 StychoKiller
StychoKiller's picture

Hmm, market forces such as being stranded at sea for a week?  Let the crushin' begin!

Thu, 04/11/2013 - 06:17 | 3435538 overmedicatedun...
overmedicatedundersexed's picture

the american justice system for what it is worth:

A federal jury has found a former Pennsylvania judge guilty of participating in a so-called "kids for cash" scheme, in which he received money in exchange for sending juvenile offenders to for-profit youth jails over the years. Former Luzerne County Judge Mark Ciavarella, Jr., was convicted Friday of accepting bribes and kickbacks for putting juveniles into detention centers operated by PA Child Care and a sister company, Western Pennsylvania Child Care. Ciavarella and another judge, Michael Conahan, are said to have received $2.6 million for their efforts. Ciavarella faces a maximum sentence of 157 years in prison, in addition to a class action lawsuit on behalf of the youths’ families. For more on this story, we are joined by Marsha Levick of the Juvenile Law Center and to Sandy Fonzo, who believes her son’s suicide was related to his treatment by Ciavarella. [includes rush transcript]

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 17:58 | 3433962 tabasco71
tabasco71's picture

I guess if they were out in the ocean on CCL ships, there is also a high chance they would sink and drown - the world would be less a few hundred psychopaths...

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:20 | 3434054 XitSam
XitSam's picture

The psychopaths that matter are in Washington D.C.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:49 | 3434136 A Nanny Moose
A Nanny Moose's picture

Speaking of sunken cesspools

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:00 | 3433964 q99x2
q99x2's picture

How about setting up a prototype using the Federal Reserve Board members and the Justice Department as inmates.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 21:33 | 3434735 cynicalskeptic
cynicalskeptic's picture

Can it be a 'Poseidon Adventure' Cruise?    please, please.....  or maybe one traveling off the Somalian coast.... we can pay the priates to take over the ship... would be cheaper for us in the long run.

Wed, 04/10/2013 - 18:02 | 3433972 Aurora Ex Machina
Aurora Ex Machina's picture

Sailing the Seven Seas with a crew from Indonesia, your cargo all over 70+, with minimum levels of bacterial control. I'm not joking when I warned my dear Grandparents off the QE2, let alone the bargain bucket end of the spectrum.

 

p.s.

 

I'm sadly disappointed at the lack of snark attaching this to the infamous "floating Island" Libertarian dream; that would have been spicy. Although, I do remember a story about an inspirational 70yr old lady who lived her last years on such a vessel... She had done the math, and apparently enjoyed herself (and if you missed it, the story is true, but so is the "dying in the Ritz" London angle).

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