BitCoin Halted

Tyler Durden's picture

Yes, it is supposedly distributed, but that does not prevent BTC trading platform MtGox from halting trading for a bit, or 12 hours as the case may be.

In other news, according to today's leaked memo from the bearded chairman, one should move out of the BitCoin bubble and boldly go into the S&P bubble.

h/t @thedrickster1

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A_Dog's picture

On a cold Friday afternoon, I had come home from school. I had been thinking of the bitcoins all day. I was hungry, didn't have any lunch. In fact, I didn't eat because I spent the money. For the past month I was saving up for something. Something special which I bought via Zero Hedge eshop. I was surprised Tyler didn't ask for ID; I was pretty sure he noticed how nervous I was. Anyways, my mom asked my how my day was when I got home, but I ignored her. I have more important things to do. I run to the bathroom and unpack my bag. In my school bag is a white plastic bag from ZH. I open the bag, first removing the receipt and flushing it down the toilet to get rid of the evidence. My heart was racing now. I unpack the bitcoin monster from the bag.


I wonder what people will be asking me when they see that I am a millionaire. Should I say I was just work a lot? I remove the label from the tub and tear it into a thousand small pieces. I flush that down the toilet, too. It is time now. I run up to my room when my mom ask me what I am holding. I panic, sweat drips down my forehead and my teeth chatter. "Mom, it's just for a school project". "What project?" "I don't know mom I just started it!". A tear runs down my cheek. I run upstairs and calculate the bitcoins. What have I gotten myself into. There is no turning back now. The bitcoin monster is inside me now, it will control me. What should I do if I die? I can’t let my family know about this.


I throw bitcoin bag out the window. I feel bitcoins taking control of me; I am now the monster. I walk downstairs, it’s time to check price; time to get rich. Now I worry, I don't want to get too rich; people will think I am from WallStreet. I am from WallStreet. No I am not. Bitcoins. All I see is the cash and babes now, I am almost downstairs when I hear "Do you want a cookie I just baked". I know I do not have time for this shit now. "No mom I do not want a cookie" I walk in the basement and drop to my knees before the computer screen, looking at the bitcoin chart, tears running down my cheeks. I turn to the right and look at myself in the mirror. Oh god, what have I done?



redpill's picture

-- Excerpt from Chapter 17, Confessions of a Zero Hedge Sockpuppet by MDB, Copyright 2013, All rights reserved.

hedgeless_horseman's picture



Now, wait for the legislation.


Wed, 04/03/2013 - 12:11 | 3403641 hedgeless_horseman

Bitcoin will not be stopped!

Yes, this type of mania (irrational exuberance) is exactly what Bernanke wants. Please, allow me to line up Bernanke's sight picture for you.

The risk that legislation by the government could significantly alter the business prospects of one or more companies, adversely affecting investment holding in that company. This may occur as a direct result of government action or by altering the demand patterns of the company''s customers.


Bitcoin will not be stopped!

+ altering the demand patterns

+ Bitcoins Go Parabolic

+ legislation by the government

= Deflationary Tiger Rug

McMolotov's picture

Bitcoin up and disappears like a fart in the wind only to reappear at a later date as a government- and central bank-controlled electronic currency.

Abraxas's picture

I'm sick and tired of theis bulshit and stupidity. Hey, there's this Japanease guy who thought of the full-proof way to overthrow the governments. Listen, it's brilliant. It's an open-source, and, and, you have these nodes, and then, like, everybody has these numbers, and they are like money... but only it's not really money...

Harlequin001's picture

It's just a flesh wound...

Harlequin001's picture

It's ok, it's only 12 hours. Obviously there's just too many people trying to get in... Buy, buy, buy.

Hopefully it's not just plain bye bye...

jayman21's picture

How does one get such a long post in position number one?


Awesome post +1

Harlequin001's picture

I think you have to type faster than Bitcoin plunges. Impressive though isn't it?

BaBaBouy's picture


ROYTERS May Issue Another FuckShit Story That

The EU Will Force Cyprus To SELL ALL Its BITCOINS ...

Pladizow's picture

As occurred in Cyprus with the London branches remaining open, the 12 hr halt will allow insiders to get rid of their Bitcoin!

Harlequin001's picture

Anyway I'm going to 'do a Bitcoin' now and take a break for a couple of hours...

johnQpublic's picture

i personally try my best not to purchase things that do not actually exist

Harlequin001's picture

well not with real money anyway.

But it's ok, I'm reliably informed by fonestar et al that just about everybody managed to get out literally seconds before it was halted right at the top, luckily and they all managed to move to physical gold too...

and you can take that to the bank 'cos there's not one single bullshitter amongst them...

except bitcoin that is, you can't take that anywhere...

fonestar's picture

"real money" you traitor.  Bitcoin is real, Federal Reserve Notes are fake.

Another fake libertarian (real American) who loves Ben and his green rectangles. 

Harlequin001's picture


Gold is real. Bitcoin is not.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

fonestar's picture

Mindfuck time for you!  I own gold and silver!

Doesn't that just shatter your whole either/or universe now?

Harlequin001's picture

Clearly you don't own very much of it now...

and no, it doesn't. You can either own gold OR you can blow it on bitcoin. You can't do both, that's the problem with gold...

Jack Napier's picture

Allow me to help you out fonestar.

BitCoin is better than fiat currency (debt) therefore:

[insert leap of faith here]

BitCoin is better than or just as good as sound money (gold and silver).

It's like saying the 2 AM hideous kinky troll is hot because she's not a dude.

BitCoin is not real money. It is CURRENCY.

Real money must qualify as both a unit of account [divisible, fungible, portable] (BitCoin pass), AND a longterm store of wealth [durable] (BitCoin fail).

fonestar's picture

Bitcoin is a currency and if you ever bothered to read any of my posts you would know I have never said otherwise.  Bitcoin is not a store of wealth in the present time, in the future it may be able to facilitate that role as well.  Currently, it is the most advanced and sophisticated transfer-of-payment method on Earth.

jcaz's picture

....And yet, you're still a douchbag of MDB proportions-  these are the dichotomies of life, son.....

Go back to Farmville and make Momma some more coins....

smlbizman's picture

went has lost more value the last 2 days....bitcoins or max keisers credibility?

defencev's picture

Neither  bitcoins nor Max Keiser ever had any credibility (or intrinsic value if you wish).

fonestar's picture

The average mind on ZH has no "intrinsic value" as far as I am concerned!

Citium's picture

LOL I love how you call us fake libertarians who support ben bernanke but you are the one playing into the NWO's game by getting into a oneworld digital currency that has no intrinsic value what so ever. It's fake and only has perceived value upon who will accept it. The more you guys have flash crashes the less people will view this as a stable currency or even medium term store of wealth. Seriously bro do you even have a job besides coming on ZH to Pump and dump your BTC to hopefully make a living and move out of your moms house?


I support BTC people in principle if they held more of a libertarian attitude and let people make their own decisions without you calling them names and using such hyperbolic BS. Seriously go invest in BTC and leave everyone else alone who wants to hold real tangible items that aren't at the whim of people having a clue what they are, or the government controlling the internet, or electricity, or passwords, or correct blockchains, stolen/hacked bitcoin wallets.... Come on bro you know by now you sound like someone at the top of a huge bubble screaming for everyone to jump on the titanic with you.


Get a life.

fonestar's picture

The whole reason people were scared of a one world currency is because TPTB would control it.  Bitcoin is not controlled by these psychopaths and thus, does not merit the same concerns.

Panafrican Funktron Robot's picture

I actually agree with you on this, I would put BTC > USD easily.  

That said, and I know I'm just being simple minded here, but I lost my ass in the .com bubble, and learned "if you don't hold it, you don't own it".  That's the issue with storing your wealth in anything other than tangible assets (not the financial definition, the actual definition).  

Drachma's picture

"Bitcoin is not controlled by these psychopaths..." First big assumption that you can not verify. Interesting how we still don't know the real identity of those who designed the algorithms. Have you audited every bit of source code? Your overconfidence in something you think you know all about is astounding. Have you ever built a mathematical model to simulate real-world economic activity? Amazing how you put your faith in a nom de plume such as Satochi Nakamoto; your hero has been created especially for you. Mission accomplished.

Freewheelin Franklin's picture

Nothing has intrinsic value. Not even goats and chickens. 



MsCreant's picture

I hear you Frank, but I can always eat those. Or use the feathers, eggs, hide...even the shit for compost.  They do have use values even when they don't have an exchange value.

fonestar's picture

+100 for Max Keiser's credibility in my books!

He was spot-on the money identifying you fake libertarians!  You cheer when the Benny Bux goes up.  You value your silver in Benny Bux.  You tip the waitress in Benny Bux.  You love the Benny Bux.  Your your own worst enemy.

"The enemy of an enemy is an enemy" goes your contorted, bastardized logic....

MsCreant's picture

Your need to come here and act this way is weird. Live and let live. 

You sound scared or employed to do this. There is no other reason to act the way you are acting.

Peace, fonestar.

Jack Napier's picture

I used to like Max Keiser when he was pushing silver. Now he helped the BitCoin bubble and has outed himself as a total tool along the lines of Paul Krugman. Keiser still says a lot of the right things, but is just another Eichmann.

fonestar's picture

Why or better yet, who would employ someone to come here and supposedly shill for Bitcoin?  The idea is absurd. 

What I find amazing is that these supposed libertarians who believe they understand the fraudulent nature of the Federal Reserve System and fractional-reserve lending could go on to make such an idiotic logical fallacy as to confuse what is corporeal with what is real (or not).  If you deny the existence of Bitcoin, you must deny the existence of P2P networking.  Then it becomes axiomatic that you deny the existence of the public internet!  Then you must deny the existence of the people whose jobs and careers are set with maintaining this network!

Far more likely, this is the foolhardy, emotionally charged backlash of the technically non-sophisticated railing against what they cannot understand.  They find themselves drowning in an increasingly virtualized and sophisticated digital world with no virtual life vest.  Nobody is going to take the time to explain this to you.  You enjoyed this technology when it was warm and fuzzy and now if you don't grasp it, prepare to get fucked hard by it.

DaddyO's picture

Dumbass, you wouldn't know a libertarian if he/she came up and poked you in the eye.

Take your anger and direct it where it really belongs, in the mirror.

All this bitcoin turmoil didn't cost me a dime, well maybe a little for the power to fuel my computer...

So how much do you have tied up, basement boy?


fonestar's picture

You really think anyone who has been envolved in Bitcoin since 2009, 2010 sold their bitcoin and threw their hands in the air over the last two days?

"My god MtGox got DDOS'd, the sky is falling!"


jcaz's picture

Dude- your money is GONE- deal with it-  that phony exchange ain't EVER opening back up for little guys like you.....

fonestar's picture

Would we care if it was gone moron?  It would be far better to have 1,000 smaller exchanges all over the globe.

Melin's picture

aren't you guys just talking about two different things? You seem to have the currency/money thing straight whereas dude thinks currency is definitionally money, which it's not nor does it have to be. 

fonestar's picture

So you deny p2p networking even exists?  Or that Bitcoin is a protocol that runs over that network?  Why do I bother arguing with people who are delusional?

Please list some other things that are "not real" acccording to your tungsten-filled brain.  Go on now, I am quite amused by this attempt at logic.

defencev's picture

Do you realize, pathetic motherfucker that you own nothing? Bitcoins is nothing: I can draw :0,1,0 ,1...

Do I own anything? What a bunch of stupid , worthless motherfuckers... You will be punished this time thogh: stupidity should be punished.

fonestar's picture

Do you realize moron that thousands of years of human thought, engineering, philosophy and a desire to communicate went into making those 1's and 0's possible?

If you deny the public internet, if you deny P2P networking....



TPTB_r_TBTF's picture

Humans are behind this internet thing?  No wonder it took so many thousands of years to complete!

fonestar's picture

Yes, humans.  And as the comment section on ZH regarding Bitcoin will attest, that makes the public internet all the more amazing.

Big things like bitcoin are difficult to grasp for small caliber minds.

MsCreant's picture

Insulting people is not going to sell your point. What on earth are you doing?

When I teach, if I insult my students they shut down. That is hardly ever my strategy. If you are teaching, then have compassion for the folks who don't see what you see. 

I think you are not here to teach. I think you are up to something less wholesome. The evidence is in your choice of words.

Jack Napier's picture

BitCoin is even less real than the US dollar. At least fiat currency has paper representations. BitCoin is about as real as fonestar's cyber girlfriend who is really a dude who is really working for a government agency who is really a double agent for China who is really a bull dyke pretending to be a dude.

fonestar's picture

I really don't care.  It is time people take some god damn responsibility for the digital world they have built up around themselves.  I am not here to preach or to teach and I couldn't care less whether the fake libertarians are onboard or left behind sitting on the tracks.