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Thursday Humor: The North Korea Missile Test Launch
The rattling of sabres grows louder as missile launchers are turned to the sky and launch-pads moved across North and South Korea. It appears the previous missile test-launch did not go so well...
But there may be a solution...
(h/t Lance R)
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I love it !!!
me too!
That is the best chuckle I've had all day!!
DaddyO
PS: Does Kim Jong Un know there is a fist in that beard?
We'd smoke this guy in about 15 seconds but no one wants the responsibility to feed the entire country.
The pwobwom is obwious.
The genawows need bigguh hats.
Chuck Norris's Blood Type is AK-47
Jesus could walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through land.
Fuck yea!
There are no weapons of mass destruction in North Korea. Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
Chuck Norris' tears cure missle failures....too bad he's never cried.
May you live in Chuck Norris times- Chinese proverb
Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups.
He pulls the Earth up to him.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to suck a cock. Guys just spontaneously bust a nut when Chuck is around and it shoots right into his mouth.
-Chumblez.
The Chumbawamba wit bank is low on reserves...
During cold war, must not is utter name of "Chuck Norris" or be send to Gulag.
True, it is not my best work.
But that fact does not make you any less of a fag.
I am Chumbawamba
Rimshot! Wah-wah-wah.....
The real irony: as small as that 'missile' was, it was still 20 times longer than Kim Jong Un's election.
LOL! Boris is love political humor!
Here is Boris try to joke...
Why is Honorable Congressman Anthony Weiner resign in disgrace?
Is sure to lose election!
I hit "reply" to this comment, and "reply" hit me back.
Hey Kim, one nuke won't be enough.
Put it in a tunnel beneath Seoul, might be enough. - Ned
Someone should tell Kim that he better watch out what he says....because Chuck Norris is the only dude that can stick his dick in your ear and fuck what you've heard. Just sayin'.
Its that small huh?
http://www.grandich.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/kor1.jpg
"You're holding the binoculars backwards, I'm actually right in front of you." *Kim shits his pants and norris attempts to scalp his first asian top down fade*
Don't worry, one of those guys behind him will do it for us before too long. This kid just ain't gonna last.
Kid'z aunt is laughing herself silly, though.
do it, he may have a suprise for you....MAD only works if no one is mad, get it.
if you can see chuck norris, and chuck norris can see you, you will be dead before i finish this sentence
hunting implies a possibility of failure. chuck norris goes killing.
chuck norris has a grizzly bear rug. its not dead. its just scared to move.
Now that got a big belly laugh...
DaddyO
chuck norris put the laughter in slaughter
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number, you answered the wrong phone.
Honey Badger didn't give a shit, then he met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until they talk.
When Mormons come to Chuck Norris' door, they leave as atheists.
The Fed instigates QE 4 without Chuck Norris' permission... Deflation ensues.
be very careful....chucky does not like being responsible for chuckles....
It's Chuck! I can se
BitCoin hit $250, but then Chuck Norris hit BitCoin.
Goldman Sachs advises their clients to short Chuck Norris.
False. If Chuck Norris hit Bitcoin it would be wiped from all our memories.
I think he's just there to sell Porky a Total Gym.
How does Chuck Norris listen to music?
With a hearing aid, because hes 73 years old.
bro, that SUCKED.
I just emailed this ZH link to Chuck Norris.
http://www.chucknorris.com/contact.htm
That's exactly what i said! I lol'd and said I love it. First laugh today, that's kinda sad.
Fact, Chuck Norris trains 366 days a year......
I dare you to search for Chuck Norris on this......
http://www.nochucknorris.com/
Sorry Obama, Chuck Norris did build it, ALL OF IT....
Dapper, that was good :)
this is from Irans time machine
Let's do the time warp again!!!
Who???
Who is down arrowing a Rocky Horror quote?
Probably some guy with no neck.
fonestar, is that you with the down arrow vendetta?
fonestar is mad because his little bitcoin got run'd over by a garbage truck...
DaddyO
"Naturally a government that can see five years into the future would be able to prepare itself for challenges that might destabilise it," Ali Razeghi said. "As such we expect to market this invention among states as well as individuals once we reach a mass production stage."
He added: "The reason that we are not launching our prototype at this stage is that the Chinese will steal the idea and produce it in millions overnight."
I'm going to assume here that if you have a working time machine, you're likely to consult it on pretty much everything. That's everything from taking a shit to issuing a press release. So...
First up, did the machine tell him that he's going to market the machine "among states"? If so, that's some real mobious loop, divide by zero stuff. This basically translates to, "the machine is telling me what it wants the future to be". Spooky.
This was then neatly followed up by "the Chinese will steal the idea". Now hang on. Is this avoidable? If it is, then it's not the future and the original prediction was wrong and the machine doesn't work.
This young man clearly needs to watch more Star Trek.
Dr. Who would be better.
And his brothers Where Why How and When.....
The missile launches Chuck Norris!
(does that work?)
chuck norris is the missile.
The North Koreans were going to call their missile ChuckNorrisDong, but that would be repetitive. So they shortened it to ChuckNorris.
Except that they can't launch Chuck Norris. He was outlawed in the '86 Gorbachev-Regan Reykjavic Summit. It was the only thing they agreed on.
Problem is, Chuck didn't agree
Missiles are called "MISSiles, because they can't hit Chuck!
They forgot to fill the rocket with water. NK Dopes.
I think the technical explanation is that they ran out of diet coke and mentos.
Only the ruling class gets water in NK.
some pigs are more equal than others.
You, Sir, are correct ;-)
Next time refill the headlight fluid you dopes!
Other than for more Blackmail cash, I think they do this to really just get some exercise.They need to put the fat lil bad haircut bstd on a SlimFast diet.
Floppin' Jong-Un Style!
Actually, it's more like Hogan's Heroes style.
Van Damn and Bruce Willis feel left out.
Agree, It's just not fair. In Obama's progressive world I thought this kind of insensitive behaviour was illegal and we where beyond this. For that matter why has no one photoshopped Jamie Fox?
THIS IS RACIST
Maybe Kim can hire some Colombians for instructions.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPcfp5ppGnk
Maybe a little Cialis will help that.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion, one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
It's hard to believe that Chuck Norris was born before Kim Jong Un's dead father, Il.
chuck norris wasnt born. he created himself.
Chuck Norris has a north and south too. The north is a shuuto strike, the south is a roundhouse kick, and they're both LIGHTS OUT.
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built himself.
I heard Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Korea used to be one nation. Chuck Norris thought it looked like a wooden board, then karate-chopped it in two.
Is that the guy that did that ganga dance websong thing....cool dude and can dance too
I'm tired of K-Pop, unless I can watch Hyuna while I'm listening to it.
WARNING: Light blooming ground flower and get away!! DANGER: Flame with loud report!!
Warning: Emits showers of sparks.
Warning: Chuck Norris.
It took me 15 years to find out with report didn't mean the bottle rockets had chinese newspaper in them.
I think Kim is more of a David Carradine type
Except Kim's version of auto-erotic asphyxiation involves stuffing a whole pizza in his mouth.
or Dennis Rodman.
He's kinda' young to stuff all of Dennis Rodman into his mouth, n'est ce pas?
+ROTFLMAO
Bruce Lee cries in Heaven every time you say "David Carradine."
Did Chuck Norris register that assault rifle? He better be careful or Biden's black helicopters will swoop in and try to take it. Of course good luck try to take anything from Chuck Norris.
Assault rifles register Chuck Norris.
chuck norris spits bullets faster than that rifle. register that.
Tyler,
Can we get some page ads for hot North Korean chicks?
If you like uniform ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQe6RZ39eNo
I kinda like American legs better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwwJzNzRAZQ
That is soooo sexist.
You'd think that every woman's place is hanging on a dance pole in 6" heels, lingerie and a....
Well, I do.
Equality for all.
Notice I said every woman
Git yo skinny ass up thar an dance, woman
I thought google was more fuckin' clever? Unless, everyone here is gay and THEY know it?
Just sayin'
BTW that wasn't some gay-worship shit about you Chuck NOR..... POW, THACK, SWOOOOSH, KER-POW.
"Chuck Norris found me and kicked my fuckin' arse Bitchez!"
Fuk n A idea there silver! We could get them cheap! And those bitches will work for scraps. Table scraps, literally.
Now that's the kind of "illegal aliens" we can mostly all get behind. Errrrr, I meant "unregistered Democrats."
- Ned
Remember who is in charge of pressing that red button over here.
http://rt.com/news/drones-us-al-qaeda-militants-649/
Leaked report: Nearly half of US drone strikes in Pakistan not against al-QaedaA trove of leaked classified reports has confirmed what many had suspected – US drone kills in Pakistan are not the precision strikes against top-level al-Qaeda terrorists they are portrayed as by the Obama administration.
Instead, many of the attacks are aimed at suspected low-level tribal militants, who may pose no direct danger to the United States – and for many there appears to be little evidence to justify the assassinations.
Top secret documents obtained by McClatchy newspapers in the US show the locations, identities and numbers of those attacked and killed in Pakistan in 2006-8 and 2010-11, as well as explanations for why the targets were picked.
The statistics illustrate the breadth of the US ‘drone doctrine’ – which has never been defined by consecutive US administrations. Between 1,990 and 3,308 people are reported to have been killed in the drone strikes in Pakistan since 2004, the vast majority of them during the Obama terms.
In the 12-month period up to 2011, 43 out of 95 drone strikes in the reports (which give an account of the vast majority of US operations in the country) were not aimed at al-Qaeda at all. And 265 out of 482 people killed in those assassinations, were defined internally as “extremists”.
Indeed, only six of the men killed – less than two percent – were senior al-Qaeda leaders.
Some of the groups include the Haqqani network and the Taliban Movement of Pakistan, both militant organizations, but ones the US did not designate as terrorists until 2012 and 2010 respectively. Neither one has ever conducted an attack on US soil.
It also confirms that attacks during the George W. Bush era, were conducted on targets picked by ISI, Pakistan’s security agency, which has no obligations to comply with US legal criteria.
Furthermore, in some cases it is difficult to confirm that the targets were militants at all.
In the strikes above, the internal reports showed that only one civilian had been killed. But the modus operandi revealed behind the strikes, shows that some of the attacks seem to have been based on the certain people or visitors being present as certain locations, or merely associating with those the US believes were terrorists. This chimes with the accusation that the US is carrying out a policy of “signature strikes” – attacks based on behavior, or “signature” that would be expected of a terrorist, rather than any specific illegal activity.
These “signatures” apparently include such suspicious behavior as taking part in a funeral procession or first responding to an initial drone strike. Last year, the United Nation’s special rapporteur on human rights and counter-terrorism, Ben Emmerson, said it’s believed that, “since President Obama took office, at least 50 civilians were killed in follow-up strikes when they had gone to help victims and more than 20 civilians have also been attacked in deliberate strikes on funerals and mourners.”
The US has previously refused to admit that it operates such a policy.
Some of the assassinations, such as that of, Mohammad, the younger brother of the leader of the Haqqani network, Badruddin, appear to have been simply errors, with the victims branded as terrorists only after the fact.
All this seems to go against the assurance of John Brennan, the former White House counterterrorism chief, and new CIA head, who is the mastermind behind the drone policy
“We only authorize a particular operation against a specific individual if we have a high degree of confidence that the individual being targeted is indeed the terrorist we are pursuing,” Brennan explained a year ago.
Obama’s administration has also said all targets are on a “list of active terrorists,” compiled with “extraordinary care and thoughtfulness”. Obama has also explicitly stated that drones should not carry out “speculative” killings.
But other than when ordering assassinations of US citizens, the President does not have to give full information to the Senate about the basis for any drone attack, much less give it a legal justification.
The latest revelations have unleashed a torrent of protest from experts who believe that the program is extra-judicial, violates Pakistan’s sovereignty, and is counter-productive in the long term.
“I have never seen nor am I aware of any rules of engagement that have been made public that govern the conduct of drone operations in Pakistan, or the identification of individuals and groups other than al Qaida and the Afghan Taliban,” Christopher Swift, a national security law expert from Georgetown University told McClatchy.
“We are doing this on a case-by-case, ad hoc basis, rather than a systematic or strategic basis.”
Micah Zenko, from the Council on Foreign Relations, a foreign policy think tank, went further, and accused the government of“misleading the public about the scope of who can legitimately be targeted.”
He added: “When there is such a disconnect between who the administration says it kills and who it actually kills, that hypocrisy itself is a very dangerous precedent that other countries will emulate.”
Last month Ben Emmerson, after a secret research trip to the country announced that drone strikes violate Pakistan's sovereignty.
Emmerson added that the Pakistani government conveyed to him that it does not consent to the attacks, something that is often challenged in Washington and fuels mass protests in Pakistan.
Drone strikes were first used after the 9/11 attacks from bases in Pakistan and Uzbekistan, in combat missions inside Afghanistan. More than a decade later, Washington has expanded the use of the remotely controlled aircraft into Yemen, Somalia and most of all Pakistan.
The US has carried out countless attacks on targets in northwest Pakistan since 2004 through the CIA’s Special Activities Division. Begun by President George W. Bush, the intensity of the missions has increased under the presidency of Barack Obama.
Islamabad publicly condemns these attacks but is known to have shared intelligence with the US and allowed drones to operate from its territory until April 2011, when NATO forces killed 24 Pakistani soldiers in the Salala incident. WikiLeaks cables also revealed that Pakistan's Army Chief Ashfaq Parvez Kayani sanctioned the flights and in 2008 even asked the CIA for more “Predator coverage.”
Ordinary Pakistanis have also repeatedly protested against these attacks as a violation of its sovereignty and because of immense civilian collateral damage, including the death dozens of women and children.
Dewey Cheatum Howe - who cares in the usa about this...? i think you are talking to yourself....
Maybe so but as things keep falling apart at some point the question is if that is how they treat others when do we get the others treatment. What you allow to be perpetrated on others eventually gets perpetrated on you.
I'm not a religious person but there is that little commandment don't do unto others........... From a personal advice standpoint I think it might just have a little merit.
Either way I see Holder at some point prosecuting people involved with McClatchy newspapers as domestic terrorists over this.
Don't worry this is nobama's karma.
Go to Cabelas, or Sportsmansguide.
http://www.cabelas.com/product/Shooting/Tactical-Gear/AR-15%7C/pc/104792580/c/104778180/sc/104190480/Slide-Fire8482-AR-15-Stock/1403492.uts
Buy one. Later, you can buy the gun.
That is not what I meant if you people are infering something else. I meant as in you and me being targeted being sentenced either to death or otherwise by minority report style guilt by statistics (no judge or jury trial) without actually committing a crime or any proof of prior criminal activity, drones being the sentencing agent or not. If it ain't this guy and things are allowed to keep progressing it will just be someone else down the line.
i had an eyeball transplant so they will never find me....
So what's the problem? Isn't this just a warm up for what's coming on this side of the pond?
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger he's telling you how many seconds you have to live.
And his weapon of choice.
Chuck Norris moves too fast for time.
This is Chuck Norris' universe and he's letting us all stay here.
I think that Kim's crazy haircut is enough reason by itself for Chuck Norris to take him out.
If Kim was smart he would learn from Hitler "Chuck Norris put the Laughter in Slaughter!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrHmcpRAZNs
Chuck is angrier when wet....good thing the water knows to go around him or they would be trouble.
Catastrophic Thermonuclear Oblivion or Chuck Norris is both the prevention and the actual occurence- it depends on which side of Schroedinger's wall you're on!
Tomorrow's headline:
CHINA DAILY: DPRK DONG-IV MISSILE FOUND FLOATING SHANGHAI RIVER
Do the Norks still use cameras with film in them? Grainy Pics.
nk did not launch the missile. it was a false alarm. the launch was reported by japanese. apparently japan cannot do anything right. possibly, japan would like to start korea war ii
Probably radiation interfering with their instruments...
I don't understand why SK doesn't set up somewhere close to the border and launch a missile into an empty field, blame NK and then hunt this little fat fuck down and kill him and his generals.
NK is a petty cult - hardly a country.
They are all MAD man, mad I tell ya.
(NK is like saving big ass firecrackers for a loooong time, robot like indoctrination to, no fun when that shit blows)
You don't understand because you are the wrong color and are self-admittedly a geek. Not that there's anything wrong with that ;-) RoK has lotsa' kidz, much more interested in the gang-guy than actually going to war. And of course, Seoul has more artillery tubes aimed at it than are in almost all of the rest of the world. So, Park Geun-Hye is one tough babe and is not at all stupid, and she wouldn't start something that would result in the death of millions of her own people, many of whom have no clue what the fight might be about.
DPRK is a lot of things, including having the capability to detonate a nuclear weapon. Whether they can place the weapon, another question. Placing the weapon via rocket or missile is not the only option.
We are actually placing our trust into the hands of the PRC and their ability to let their Doberman stay on the leash while yapping and setting up a celebration for his ol' grandpa.
And a reddie on ya, cuz u are a culturally insensitive bastard.
Best Regards,
- Ned
{without a clue}
{{there's a reason that the Colt Peacekeeper was called "the equalizer" in the old days}}
{{{there's a reason that Big Sis et al understand this, these days}}}
{{{{we have actually placed our trust into the hands of John Forbes Kerry, who served in Viet Nam, to play poker with the PRC, and, in the unlikely event that he is effective, then our trust was well placed. Otherwise, we are pawns to the new PRC "leadership" and what they want to do. Expect unexpected events in other financial venues as a result of this situation.}}}}
That North Korean leader looks like a force-fed, anal-retentive, baby. Is he also mentally retarded?
Would you ask for that haircut?
QED
His harem really doesn't give a shit about his haircut.
Send Hans Brix back....oh, wait..nevermind
Chuck Norris invented Al Gore just to make the internet.
Kim Jong-un thinks he found Chuck Norris. Nope - Chuck Norris just found Kim Jong-un - and he's pissed.
OK - this was a derivitave of the pic above seen on the intertubes. Let the Chck Norris jokes continue....
Chuck Norris was here: http://i184.photobucket.com/albums/x227/Ramious666/forumi/chuck-norris-w...
Hey Kim, you nuke LA, we nuke SF
On SF radio today a guy was being interviewed about the SF cops carrying Tazers.
He pointed out that if they had their way, there are many in SF that'd have the cops with no guns at all.
Just Chuck Norris distributing Gerbils.
Or eels!!!!
More stuff: http://www.upcoming.nl/rick/763/10-geruststellende-beelden-uit-noord-kor...
Isn't Kim Jong Un, North Korea's version of Chuck Norris?
They have both performed impossible feats when nobody was looking.
Party pooper....
FACT, Chuck Norris* = Kim Jong Un
*GOD likes to test his subjects
Watch it or you'll go blind saying stuff like that?
Or grow hair on the palms of your hands living in a SF bath house.
Chuck Norris doesn't think that he is Kim Jong Un.
Braille knukles, Braille....
Way ahead of the game.........
Funny stuff, hair, when you need it it disappears and when you don't want it it;s growing out of our ears?
If only there was a site I could find that would dispense with all the bullshit, not say anything when there doesn't need to have anything said, doesn't pad their site with useless articles, or pretend to be the Onion from time to time.
Anybody know of a site like this?
TMZ/headlinepopularstarsKardashian@HuffPo_yougottabefuckinkiddinme.something...
O you teaser you.....
MIsh?
That midget reminds me of myself when im out terrorizing the neighborhood drunk on the 4 wheeler.
Damn, you have a 4 wheeler?