Guest Post: Don't Ask - It's Magic!

Tyler Durden's picture


Submitted by Charles Hugh-Smith of OfTwoMinds blog,

Any sufficiently advanced cartel's actions are indistinguishable from magic.

You may be surprised to learn that a marginalized, lowly blogger (me) has magical powers. It's not something I display in public, for self-evident reasons, but when two young friends, M.K. and K.K., expressed extreme skepticism, well, I was forced to display some wushu magic. Oh ye of little faith....

Don't ask--it's magic. The technique will be familiar to anyone who has practiced the esoteric Taoist arts, and after much pleading and cajoling, I revealed one basic technique to the young ladies.

To my chagrin, they both quickly mastered what had taken me years of arduous effort. M.K. shows me how it feels to be on the receiving end--ouch:

K.K. blasts her sister big-time:

OK, it's not quite magic. Like many other cutting-edge fads, such as money-printing to infinity, this type of faux manga-style martial arts began in Japan:
But let's talk a bit about real magic. Science fiction author Arthur C. Clarke's Three Laws famously include this one:
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
As evidence, I present the S&P 500 from January 1, 2013 to the present, April 12, 2013:
Don't ask--it's magic. Some of the potions and incantations have been leaked, of course, for example POMO and the pre-open purchase of E-Mini contracts, but like any good magic, the real techniques are secret.
As a result of the stupendous rally in the SPX, I propose a Fourth Law:
Any sufficiently advanced cartel's actions are indistinguishable from magic.
Your rating: None

- advertisements -

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.
Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:32 | 3442341 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"Any sufficiently advanced cartel's actions are indistinguishable from magic."

Krugman's aliens might have something to say about our "sufficiently advanced cartel's actions".

<" what you're doing with that probe buddy." - Bernanke>

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:35 | 3442361 New England Patriot
New England Patriot's picture

Funny picture, funny picture, Mickey Mouse, SR quote... have a good weekend everybody.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:37 | 3442370 James_Cole
James_Cole's picture

I lol'd, good pics, funny post. 

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:37 | 3442378 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

A happy Patriot's day to you on Monday while you are still allowed to celebrate it.  That holiday will be banned soon in the People's Republic, I mean Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:48 | 3442415 akak
akak's picture

What the hell is "Patriot's Day"?  Is this some new (mandatory) 'patriotic' holiday courtesy of the Department of Fatherland Security and/or the so-called (Un)"Patriot Act"?


PS: Purely as an aside here, since the topic of pseudo-patriotism has come up, how many others here are increasingly uncomfortable or even ashamed by the (seemingly ever-growing) public presentations of the US national anthem (with their mandatory displays of allegiance), or even, like myself, refuse to stand up for it?

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:50 | 3442443 New England Patriot
New England Patriot's picture


It commemorates the last Monday before the NFL draft. 

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:51 | 3442460 SoNH80
SoNH80's picture

It commemorates the Minutemen (Patriots) that fought the Battles of Lexington and Concord in April 1775.  This one is actually pretty legit.  There is also "Evacuation Day" in Suffolk County, Mass., which commemorates the sailing of British forces out of Boston in March 1776, which conveniently falls the Monday after St. Patrick's Day, to better facilitate heavy drinking by ye sons of Erin.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:54 | 3442466 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

USA, USA über alles,

Über alles in der Welt,

Wenn es stets zu Schutz und Trutze

Brüderlich zusammenhält,

Von der Maas bis an die Memel,

Von der Etsch bis an den Belt -

USA, USA über alles,

Über alles in der Welt.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 18:31 | 3443171 New_Meat
New_Meat's picture

CD: please, at least h/t to Arthur C. Clark, cuz most of the folks around these here parts don't know about the third-best sci-fi writer in history.

- Ned

{silly kidz cnt fkn undstd ur post}

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 20:04 | 3443444 Abi Normal
Abi Normal's picture

Hope they didn't get hurt falling through the glass doors in that first pic!


I believe in magic! Yes I do!

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:33 | 3442344 fuu
fuu's picture


Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:44 | 3442407 Agent P
Agent P's picture

I had almost the same thought, only mine had a "WTF" in front of it.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:54 | 3442470 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

"At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:34 | 3442353 venturen
venturen's picture

when you print money like there is no tomorrow....everything goes up!

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:35 | 3442365 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

except apparently gold!  They are putting thier crooked fucking exclamation point on that.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:44 | 3442416 walküre
walküre's picture

Someone without access to a printer is in dire straits and having to raise liquidity FAST.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 16:04 | 3442507 Gief Gold Plox
Gief Gold Plox's picture

I don't buy it. A 5% drop on a friday? Bullshit, it's a timed and coordinated attack. Something's up, and it's not gonna be pleasant.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 16:14 | 3442538 akak
akak's picture

ANYONE who would dare claim that today's movements in the precious metals are merely the result of "normal market activity" should be immediately dismissed from consideration as an honest, intelligent or unbiased observer.  Some people are too cowardly, or too co-opted, to openly acknowledge reality, no matter how hard it smacks them in the face.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 17:58 | 3443078 willwork4food
willwork4food's picture

That's what the Hunt brothers said.  :)

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:45 | 3442424 resurger
resurger's picture

When the demand soars, the price drops .. see am not that stupid after all.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 16:01 | 3442492 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

Because debt is an asset and cash-on-hand is a liability.  Imagine two brazilian transsexuasl, sixty-nining while Chuck Norris claps his hands in kata.  Now, breathe out...

See?  Cookies, petals, a pound of butter, nails in the wall, ocelots.  It's all Alan Alda, until it isn't.  Pudding is denser than water.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 16:03 | 3442502 DC3
DC3's picture

And wages

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 20:43 | 3443572 blindman
blindman's picture

gift horse / mouth / don't look.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:34 | 3442355 RobD
RobD's picture

Looks like the shanking of gold did not stop with the London close. Have not seen a late Friday sale off in the Globex in a while.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:39 | 3442383 rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

....not since May 2011?

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:49 | 3442437 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Everything you see is paper.

The CB's and elite are siphoning off the physical as weak hands get squeezed.

They can sqeeeze gold as much as they care to in the monetary kabuki market, but at some point they are going to have to fight industy and die hard stackers for physical in the silver show.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:34 | 3442363 rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

....and the CNBS Dweeb did say it can't go down, why not believe him? <end sarc>

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:38 | 3442381 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

The answer is simple.  If only the market could trade 7 days a week, the country would be out of debt in no time.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:36 | 3442364 eclectic syncretist
eclectic syncretist's picture

I'd be surprised if gold and silver don't rally into the close.  Otherwise Asia is going to be able to get in on the firesale come Monday.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:46 | 3442421 saints51
saints51's picture

Nah, they will fuck with us by giving bearish chart porn for the weekend. Make it look like it will continue to drop. Then short squeeze the weak hands because they will have stole Cyprus gold by then.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:44 | 3442423 insanelysane
insanelysane's picture

Ever have a thought that Asia is working late this Friday?

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:35 | 3442366 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

It's kindalike watching pro wrestling.
Fraudulent, yet in some perverse way, amusing.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:35 | 3442371 Eagle Keeper
Eagle Keeper's picture

Doesn't that graph simply depict inflation?

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:36 | 3442373 Caviar Emptor
Caviar Emptor's picture

The something for nothing economy...repleat with perpetual motion machines (Mr Abe's) and winning streaks at the black jack table (errr stock market). If we all feel like winners, if we all light candles, close oureyes, join handsand believe that the economy is levitating ... then isn't it real?

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:38 | 3442377 rubearish10
rubearish10's picture

It would be so cool to have a PPT for PM's right now.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:42 | 3442399 resurger
resurger's picture

I can Shinpu!

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:43 | 3442402 Iocosus
Iocosus's picture

500 tons of gold paper sold today

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:45 | 3442427 walküre
walküre's picture

This wasn't all paper. But keep in mind there are offtakers on the other side of that deal. I weep for the sellers as it was not by their personal choice.

Sat, 04/13/2013 - 06:00 | 3444213 andrewp111
andrewp111's picture

If they are leveraged and get a margin call, they must sell.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:47 | 3442434 resurger
resurger's picture
Gold 1,488.00 -76.90 -4.91%

Biggest sales ever, Thank you Blythe ... btw This is not NOT NORMAL, any one knows what the fuck is going on?!

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:51 | 3442459 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

well Jim Willie told me yesterday that the fed was going to trun friendly towards gold and shoot it up so the Chinese won't be able to buy it at such low prices. 

Whatever. It could drop another couple hundred bucks. It's paper, so it may drop to zero. Nop one said this was going to be easy. Anyone want to get off the ride?

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:58 | 3442482 resurger
resurger's picture

Yeah, i read his observation that Shanghai had allowed Arbitrage to crush LBMA and COMEX the paper leveraged naked sellers ...

more orders should be coming to for physical delivery now? How much is the Shanghai gold price, or this is the futures for Jun and Aug

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 20:18 | 3443478 Arbysauce
Arbysauce's picture


Fri, 04/12/2013 - 20:16 | 3443495 Arbysauce
Arbysauce's picture

You're damn right. Someday we'll get price discovery on physical, over Bernanke's dead body probably. For now you can get physical for the same price as promises of physical. Thats pretty cool.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:42 | 3442406 Gringo Viejo
Gringo Viejo's picture

Come to think of it, I've lived to see America become 3.79 million square miles of the WWF.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:44 | 3442408 saints51
saints51's picture

and here comes the pump...on fucking time.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:49 | 3442436 sitenine
sitenine's picture

Magic... yeah... and just earlier today BI Joe wrote an article proclaiming that gold price movement in the down direction PROVES that the Fed was right. More magic, right? Folks, we've gone full retard. I wouldn't use the word magic, personally. I would use the word FUCKED.

Fri, 04/12/2013 - 15:54 | 3442464 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

If I could steal lollipops from kids and beat old ladies up for their cash - my friends would think I was a magician not working but having a constant supply of lollipops and $100 bills.

Bernanke is a thief, not a magician.


Fri, 04/12/2013 - 16:57 | 3442860 mkhs
mkhs's picture

Grandma only has a crumpled fiver, otherwise bullseye.

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!