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Reuters Releases George Soros Obituary By Mistake: "Enigmatic Financier, Liberal Philanthropist Dies At XX"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Update - that didn't take long:

Reuters erroneously published an advance obituary of financier and philanthropist George Soros. A spokesman for Soros said that the New York-based financier is alive and well. Reuters regrets the error.

* * *

First CNN, then AP, now Reuters: the entire media is increasingly starting to look like amateur hour. Unless, of course, Soros is like Osama, and had several "reincarnated" body doubles, with the original specimen long gone.

Here is our suggestion for another prepared article: "Today after XX centuries of monetizing debt, the Emperor of the Galactic Central Bank, Gaius Maximus Printius Bernankius the DCLXVIth, ended QE in the year of the alien invasion, XXXXX. Bread costs XXXXXXXXXXX."

Just out from Reuters, an article which will certainly be withdrawn in milliseconds. Intern heads will roll for this, although it would be truly "New Normal" if Soros were to have a heart attack upon reading news of his own death, and die from it.

George Soros, enigmatic financier, liberal philanthropist dies at XX
5:41pm EDT

By Todd Eastham

WASHINGTON, XXX (Reuters) - George Soros, who died XXX at age XXX, was a predatory and hugely successful financier and investor, who argued paradoxically for years against the same sort of free-wheeling capitalism that made him billions.

He was known as "the man who broke the Bank of England" for selling short the British pound in 1992 and helping force the United Kingdom to withdraw from the European Exchange Rate Mechanism, which devalued the pound and earned Soros more than $1 billion.

And his Soros Fund Management was widely blamed for helping trigger the Asian financial crisis of 1997, by selling short the Thai baht and Malaysian ringgit.

"Subsequently, Prime Minister Mahatir of Malaysia accused me of causing the crisis, a wholly unfounded accusation," Soros wrote in The Crisis of Global Capitalism: Open Society Endangered," in 1998.

"We were not sellers of the currency during or several months before the crisis; on the contrary ... we were purchasing ringgits to realize profits on our earlier speculation."

Still, economist Paul Krugman, was one of many observers who accused Soros of helping trigger the crisis.

In 1999, Krugman wrote that "nobody who has read a business magazine in the last few years can be unaware that these days there really are investors who not only move money in anticipation of a currency crisis, but actually do their best to trigger that crisis for fund and profit."

Still, Soros has written extensively on the folly of what he has called free market "fundamentalism," the belief of many conservative economists that markets will correct themselves with no need for government intervention.

In Soros' view, markets and investors are subject to "mood" swings, or a prevailing positive or negative bias which can be exploited by savvy investors but which inevitably lead to damaging market bubbles and boom/bust cycles.

An enigma, wrapped in intellect, contradiction and money.

A Jew born in Hungary as the Nazis were gaining power in Germany, Soros survived World War Two and then emigrated to Great Britain, where he earned a degree from the London School of Economics in 1952, and landed his first job in the financial industry largely through pure stubborn chutzpah.

OPEN SOCIETY INSTITUTE

While at the London School, Soros studied under the economist and philosopher Karl Popper and a main vehicle for his philanthropy, the Open Society Institute, is named for Popper's two-volume work, "The Open Society and Its Enemies."

In that work, Popper develops the philosophy of reflexivity, a theory first articulated by William Thomas in the 1920s that posits that individual biases enter into market transactions, coloring the perception of economic fundamentals. Soros has attributed his own financial success in part to his understanding of the reflexive effect.

Key to understanding that effect is recognizing when markets are in a condition of near-equilibrium, or in disequilibrium. Soros has observed that when markets are rising or falling rapidly, they are typically marked by rising disequilibrium, and the dispassionate investor can capitalize on that recognition.

While Soros has benefited enormously from this understanding (Forbes put his wealth in 2013 at $19 billion, making him the world's 30th richest person, not counting the roughly $8 billion he has given away through various charitable entities he controls), he has argued nevertheless for strong central government regulation to correct for and counterbalance the excesses of greed, fear and the free market.

Popper's idea of fallibilism, which posits that anything one believes may in fact be wrong, is another key principle that has guided Soros in his career, and his philanthropy.

Soros' philanthropy since the 1970s, when he began funding the studies of black students at the University of Cape Town in South Africa, has been marked as much by his personal journey as by the needs of the communities he has set out to serve.

His efforts through the Open Society Institute and the Soros Foundations have been skewed toward the effort to promote democratic values in the post-Soviet economies of Central and Eastern Europe, where he witnessed the rise of communism in Hungary after World War Two.

"The bulk of his enormous winnings (as an investor and speculator) is now devoted to encouraging transitional and emerging nations to become 'open societies,'" former Federal Reserve Chairman Paul Volcker wrote in the foreword to Soros' "The Alchemy of Finance" (2003).

"Open," Volcker wrote, "not only in the sense of freedom of commerce but - more important - tolerant of new ideas and different modes of thinking and behavior."

PHILANTHROPY, POLITICS

Soros also pledged $50 million in 2006 to the Millennium Promise, led by economist Jeffrey Sachs, to provide educational, agricultural and medical aid to help poor villages in Africa. And the Open Society Institute has expanded its giving to more than 60 countries around the world, giving away roughly $600 million a year.

Soros was an early supporter of the peaceful transformation of the Solidarity movement in Poland and Open Society Institute programs were considered by many Western observers to be a key factor in the success of the "Rose Revolution" in Georgia.

While his philanthropy has earned him friends around the world, his political giving has earned him both friends and enemies. Former President George W. Bush, who Soros blamed for turning the United States into "the main obstacle to a stable and just world order," was perhaps the biggest single target of his political wrath.

"By declaring a 'war on terror' after Sept. 11, we set the wrong agenda for the world," Soros told Newsweek magazine in a 2006 interview. "When you wage war, you inevitably create innocent victims."

In a bid to stop Bush's re-election, Soros donated $23.5 million to more than 500 liberal and progressive groups during the 2003-2004 U.S. election cycle.

Other causes that have attracted Soros' generosity include drug policy reform. He donated $1.4 million to promote California's Proposition 5 in 2008, a failed initiative that would have expanded drug rehabilitation programs as alternatives to prison for non-violent drug offenders, and $400,000 to the successful 2008 Massachusetts initiative to decriminalize possession of less than an ounce (28 grams) of marijuana.

He has also been a vocal supporter of the right to die in dignity, revealing in 1994 that he had offered to help his own mother, a member of the Hemlock Society, commit suicide.

While Soros' life has been marked by remarkable success in his far-flung endeavors, it has not been without defeat. His investment in France's Societe Generale following Jacques Chirac's aggressive program of privatization led to charges of insider trading, which he disputed, and eventual conviction and the payment of a small penalty.

And he was a minority partner in a group that failed to acquire the Washington Nationals Major League baseball team.

But these failings stand out in the life of this remarkably successful Hungarian-American financier, philanthropist and thinker, in contrast to his stubborn refusal to fail in virtually every other venture.

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Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:03 | 3468469 RacerX
RacerX's picture

Where do I send the flowers?

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:05 | 3468488 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

I still can't get over the loss, now that Cher is dead.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:08 | 3468503 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

This is weird since I just made a joke on another thread about Abe Vigoda being dead.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:11 | 3468522 notbot
notbot's picture

Tyler - can you please publish this same thing, only for Krugman?

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:14 | 3468536 ZH11
ZH11's picture

I second this motion.

We need a modern spin of J G Ballard's Now:Zero for all our financial enrichment! 

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:40 | 3468679 FL_Conservative
FL_Conservative's picture

Weekend at Soros'.  Glenn Beck can play the Andrew McCarthy role.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:46 | 3468708 Cheesy Bastard
Cheesy Bastard's picture

I won't believe it until I see it on Family Guy 3 weeks ago.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 20:59 | 3469232 eatthebanksters
eatthebanksters's picture

It's just too bad it was a mistake...

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 21:06 | 3469254 bania
bania's picture

"although it would be truly "New Normal" if Soros were to have a heart attack upon reading news of his own death, and die from it"

No Tyler, that would be called "Christmas".

Fri, 04/19/2013 - 07:07 | 3470488 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

You really know somebody's not liked much when he's not even dead yet and ZH's already celebrating.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:46 | 3468710 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

He died at 'XX'?

Too much Mexican Beer?

[Dos Equis?]

 

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 19:01 | 3468768 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

George Schwartz, alias "Soros".  From teenage Jew Nazi-collaborator in 1944 Hungary to contemporary Jew-communist billionaire speculator. If the good die young, Schwartz-Soros will live forever. 

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 19:19 | 3468849 Ms. Erable
Ms. Erable's picture

Can we have Soros retracted instead of the obit?

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 19:35 | 3468880 CompassionateFascist
CompassionateFascist's picture

future dictionary entry:

 

Soros (soroz):: see: sociopath

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 19:19 | 3468846 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

XX = base 34 for ... um ... (33*1) + (33*34) = 33 + 1122 = 1155

I expect him to make it about that long.

(Lots of repeating digits there.)

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:11 | 3468526 Temporalist
Temporalist's picture

Funny and I just mentioned Soros yesterday "oligarchs like Soros and Buffett who are actually over 200 years old but they use a serum of liquid gold and the blood of unborn peasants to sustain their lives."

He is the undead!

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:15 | 3468543 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

When Vigoda does pass, nobody will believe it!

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 19:56 | 3468961 The_Dude
The_Dude's picture

On a long enough timeline.....thank goodness!

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 20:57 | 3469218 SILVERGEDDON
SILVERGEDDON's picture

Soros has been dead for decades. He was stuffed and mounted same time they did Roy Roger's horse, Trigger. dale Evans had them standing on either side of her fireplace in the 'ole homestead.

The guy you see in media appearances is the Elmo guy in a Soros puppet.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:05 | 3468490 Rahm
Rahm's picture

Cry me a fucking river

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:42 | 3468681 Abi Normal
Abi Normal's picture

One day my friends, one day, your wish will become true, after all he is in his 80's!  This evildoer will answer for his greed and bloodlust!

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 20:29 | 3469096 nmewn
nmewn's picture

Whenever he croaks I'll make a special trip to piss on his grave.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 21:02 | 3469239 Ned Zeppelin
Ned Zeppelin's picture

Saving that for Cheney

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 21:21 | 3469319 kliguy38
kliguy38's picture

While you're pissing on it don't step in that king-sized pile of steamin' shit I left on it.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 21:10 | 3469267 reTARD
reTARD's picture

I'm coming with you. Don't worry I'm not gay. We'll piss on opposite sides of his tombstone, LOL.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 21:20 | 3469315 Hulk
Hulk's picture

Just don't cross the streams. This one has real consequences...

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 22:02 | 3469440 reTARD
reTARD's picture

Is that what they mean when we've made a "death cross" crossover?

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 21:11 | 3469274 GoldForCash
GoldForCash's picture

Made his first million pulling the gold from dead Jewish prisoners Teeth ...true I heard...

Fri, 04/19/2013 - 02:11 | 3470122 dark pools of soros
dark pools of soros's picture

As a young boy I learned about opportunity....

Fri, 04/19/2013 - 09:49 | 3469353 HungryPorkChop
HungryPorkChop's picture

If you make Billion$ from other peoples demise, breaking currencies and keeping people in poverty........not good!!! 

 

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:04 | 3468478 ZH11
ZH11's picture

Like he can die! Billionaires are immortal for the benefit of the trickle down effect.

Without them, we'd all be poor!

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:22 | 3468588 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

We're led to believe they can't die, but the title of the article clearly states that Soros will die at "XX," which, as we all know, is the secret name of the club in Transylvania where the world elite gather to roast babies and go on puppy hunts.

There is hope.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:05 | 3468479 Cursive
Cursive's picture

This is truly laugh out loud funny.  Thank you, Thomson-Reuters, you've made my day.  BTW, Thomson publishes all kinds of tax guides which are probably riddled with as many errors....

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:51 | 3468727 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

 

 

"Tragedy today as former President Gerald Ford was eaten by wolves;... he was delicious."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkhwiuRbOEE

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:06 | 3468487 Lost Wages
Lost Wages's picture

My George Soros obituary: "He spent half the day ruining people's lives and the other half of the day trying to make up for it by being a philathropist."

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:07 | 3468499 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

You're half right.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:10 | 3468518 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I was watching BBC do a segment on his death while he was in the backround jumping up and down yelling "I'm still here!!!"

20 minutes later he fell down.

Fri, 04/19/2013 - 09:20 | 3471231 GeezerGeek
GeezerGeek's picture

Soros should have quoted Samuel Clemens "This report of my death was an exaggeration."

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:13 | 3468511 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Bastiat correctly noted that philanthropy is but another con to ruin people's lives. So, you can shorten your obituary significantly.

http://bastiat.org/en/protectionism.html

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:05 | 3468492 VonManstein
VonManstein's picture

whoops he is a Marked man obviosuly.. story was ready to role..

error? what typed every letter by mistake..

some changes are coming

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:10 | 3468512 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

This means he'll be fingered as the Boston Bomber and die in a shootout.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:09 | 3468517 ZH11
ZH11's picture

I heard he went long(er) gold yesterday...........

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:07 | 3468496 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

SAVED

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:06 | 3468498 Awakened Sheeple
Awakened Sheeple's picture

Lately he looks like a walking corpse, so their mistake is understandable.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:11 | 3468524 MayIMommaDogFac...
MayIMommaDogFace2theBananaPatch's picture

Oh come on -- he didn't look a day over XX.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:07 | 3468502 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

He, like Buffet, will probably outlive us all.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:42 | 3468680 Spitzer
Spitzer's picture

Yep, just like all the Nazi's that the Mossad decided to leave alone. He should have been on the list.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 20:32 | 3469104 Esso
Esso's picture

Yeah, the bastard's like 375 now, he probably wont die 'til he's 666.

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:08 | 3468504 Godspeed You-Se...
Godspeed You-Seuss Goose's picture

I usually prefer my circus in a tent. . .but this'll do. 

Thu, 04/18/2013 - 18:08 | 3468508 jonjon831983
jonjon831983's picture

Roman numerals XXX = .... 300?  So, basically they're predicting in about 200 years he'll be dead.

 

He's got a young wife right?  Probably eats her youth to stay alive.  Time for a refill!

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