Complete Hedge Fund Performance Update

Tyler Durden's picture

Curious how hedge funds are faring against each other and against the market (not too hot)? Then this HSBC hedge fund performance update through mid-April is for you.

Best and worst:

Select names (indicative of largest AUM fund):

Full report:

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dontgoforit's picture

OK - so here's a prediction for you:  the DJIA will be down over 600 pts this week.

hedgeless_horseman's picture

 

 

In my global fascisim play of the day...

General Motors (GM) to buy remaining 40% stake in Polish engine plant

Congratulatons American taxpayers!  Rather than paying you back, GM is sending money to Pollocks.

I would rather that GM buy back the US Government's remaining stake in GM.  However...

GM CEO Dan Akerson says company committed to turning lossmaking European business around

"In Poland, even an old bald guy with just a little,
can still get a lot with your dollars!"

 

bogdan1968's picture

pollocks!?!  who is this asshole?  do you realise that pollocks is as offensive as niggars or other racial epithets? you obviously have a lot of time on your hands, spend some of it on checking your language before you post it online and embarass yourself

Muppet's picture

So ready.  So needed.  Bring it.

Dr. Engali's picture

What part about BTFD don't they get? Now it's too late. Hope they're short.

helping_friendly_book's picture

I have been short since 11/2011. My face ripped off. This bicth will crash. Just a matter of time and margin calls. These fuckers are so over leveraged it will mke 2008 look like a correction.

dontgoforit's picture

I'm afraid I have to agree.  When you look at the fundamentals vs the mountain of debt being incurred and increased, added to the insurmountable problems of an EU that will most assuredly cause world-wide havoc, the 'crash' seems to only be getting more sure with every $85 billion the Bernank invests in this fools folly.  What kinda crash is this gonna be?  Can't say; only that it is going to be exceptional.

InTheLandOfTheBlind's picture

long popcorn and butter... this should be fun

OpenThePodBayDoorHAL's picture

Do not underestimate the determination of these central bank f*ckers. They will risk the entire global financial system just to pay off their owners. Betting against them is unwise. The world is a big place, and the complex system can withstand lots pf pressures before it blows.

SheepDog-One's picture

Gee...I just got back and already this mornings premarket wood is lost? MOAR VIAGRA BEN!

dontgoforit's picture

The trees can no longer stand when the pulp is pulled.

fonzannoon's picture

Look at the div paying stocks. The more the market tries to drop the bigger the boner they pop.

SheepDog-One's picture

Must....Have.....Moar.....Dividend....

LeisureSmith's picture

Incidental Return Fund or Insider Trading International.

Rainman's picture

hoooray.....Paulson somehow escaped the bottom 20 for a breather.

Tyler Durden's picture

He hasn't updated since March 31. He will be there once April closes.

Dr. Engali's picture

I'm interested in seeing how much GLD he had to dump to meet redemtions and or margin calls.

NoDebt's picture

Agreed.  That should be telling for him and who knows how many others.

2 and 20, baby.  Imagine being in Paulson's fund, losing your ass (and continuing to lose your ass)..... all the while adding a 2% fee insult to your investment loss injury.  Ouch.

SheepDog-One's picture

All these clowns are leveraged 25-1 at least I have no doubt, they'll all be completely wiped out one morning when there's a 3-4% drop, they're just Walkers.

babylon15's picture

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-04-13/citadel-soars-to-115-billion-wi...

 

Only a small handful of hedge funds use leverage ratios above 2.  The industry as a whole is very lightly levered if at all.  Many funds like Bridgewater don't use any leverage.  AQR, DE Shaw are very lightly levered between 1.5 and 3.  I really don't know what's going on at Citadel.

SheepDog-One's picture

That's not at all what I hear from the inside.

NEOSERF's picture

Time to infer that Yellen (Moar QE) will take over for Big Ben in 5 months, will give the boost to 16K...

Winston Churchill's picture

My cat can make better RoI than this.

Why are they still in business ?

NoDebt's picture

You still need to ask that question?  The good ones trade on insider information, the bad ones claim they are acting as a non-correlated investment for your overall portfolio (something that only goes down is non-correlated).

You don't understand- somebody has to pay them or they can't afford their lifestyle.  It's not all about YOU.  It's about THEM.  So think of somebody else's needs every now and then, you selfish bastard!  ;)

Winston Churchill's picture

I'm a selfish pig that should genuflect at the hooves of the master of  the unverse.

syntaxterror's picture

Poor babies. Surely we can extend ZIRP another 3 years to help them.

babylon15's picture

Is there a way to subscribe to HSBC's Hedge Weekly?  I'm very interested in the data.

chindit13's picture

Looks like the old time macro guys are catching all the right moves, probably riding oil, JPY and PMs down.  Bruce Kovner, Louis Bacon and Paul Jones all near the top.  Loeb's on a roll, too.

Monedas's picture

Less is MOAR ! 

falak pema's picture

Cry me a river HFs who don't love apples.

Azannoth's picture

I think they forgot to add the Zimbabwean Funds the average there is about 1,000,000%

Ban KKiller's picture

Golly...you mean the flood of "money" has helped the hedge funds to perform? What is the inverse of that again? 

pndr4495's picture

Did Astenbeck report their numbers?