Friday Humor (#1): Meet The New (Normal) Chuck Norris

Tyler Durden's picture

It appears Chuck has finally met his match, and his name is Jamie...

  • Jamie Dimon is richer than you.
  • If you have Five dollars and Jamie Dimon has Five dollars, Jamie Dimon has more money than you.
  • When Jamie Dimon sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself.
  • Legend says that if you gather 7 predator skulls, you can summon Jamie Dimon.
  • When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he had 3 missed calls from Jamie Dimon.
  • Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Jamie Dimon is called Logic.
  • Jamie Dimon can cut through a hot knife with butter.
  • Jamie Dimon can slam a revolving door.
  • Jamie Dimon can kill two stones with one bird.
  • Jamie Dimon once caught AIDS… but then he let it go.
  • Jamie Dimon won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
  • He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Jamie Dimon … dies.
  • Jamie Dimon was born in a log cabin, that he built with his own hands.
  • Jamie Dimon’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
  • Jamie Dimon once played Russian roulette with a fully loaded pistol, and won.
  • Jamie Dimon can judge a book by its cover.

(Courtesy of Wall Street Fool)