JPMorgan Receives No New COMEX Gold Today, Converts Registered Into Eligible

Tyler Durden's picture


Anyone waiting with bated breath for the moment when cell H25 in the daily Comex gold inventory update (the one showing JPM's total holdings of Eligible gold) shows 0.000 will have to wait at least one more day. According to today's update, as of Thursday (so excluding today's post-Europe close gold shenannigans) JPM's eligible for delivery gold inventory did not receive any new gold, which started the day at yesterday's record low (for the firm) level of 141,581.5 troy ounces, and would have ended flat, had it not been for the reclassification of 17.5k ounces of registered gold into eligible.


The tiny move barely registered on the long-term chart, however, which still remains just a hair's width away from record lows, and from zero.

To find out what happens with JPM's gold after today's volatile gold session, check back same time, same place on Monday.

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Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:28 | 3503945 Ancona
Ancona's picture

Looks like someone is dangerously close to getting monkeyhammered in the gold pits.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:27 | 3503951 true brain
true brain's picture


Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:29 | 3503957 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

It was Dimon in the Gold Pit with the Monkeyhammer?

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:33 | 3503961 nope-1004
nope-1004's picture

Musical chairs.  Hope this pig dies.  Couldn't happen to a nicer group of two-faced theives.



Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:34 | 3503967 JoeSexPack
JoeSexPack's picture

Deathwatch, I pray.


Not the end of the world, but the end of a very corrupt era.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:34 | 3503968 Oldballplayer
Oldballplayer's picture

I think I saw Jamie at the town pond on the way home tonight. He was picking up every goose by the neck and thrusting his other up their ass looking for gold eggs.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:31 | 3504131 Son of Loki
Son of Loki's picture

I think I saw Jamie crusing the Newmont Mint in Seattle the other day....Charlie Munson was in the back seat incognito in drag the rumor has it.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:29 | 3503950 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I fear that the JPM beastie is luring us all in for the fuckass. I hope I am wrong. Satan plays a long game. Beware!

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:35 | 3503970 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

There's something hinky going on, and I really doubt us average peons will end up benefiting from whatever it is.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:52 | 3504027 debtor of last ...
debtor of last resort's picture

From here, things can only get better. Hey, you already choked on the poisoned $700,- apple....

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:08 | 3504062 bluskyes
bluskyes's picture

I sense you have been down this road before. :D

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:08 | 3504067 redux2redux
redux2redux's picture

The rules of the game are simple:

1) They win, you lose
2) You are not allowed to stop playing

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:15 | 3504085 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

2b) (well, yes you are, but you have to use the super-duper-secret decoder ring to figure how to say "I prefer not to" in a way that they will accept, albeit begrudgingly.)

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:49 | 3504174 knukles
knukles's picture

+1 for hinky

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 20:35 | 3504473 Long_Xau
Long_Xau's picture

Satan never wins the long game. He may only win some short game battles.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:29 | 3503952 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

zero, come on zero, fell like I am at the roulette table.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 10:36 | 3509879 Doubleguns
Doubleguns's picture

Lets toss them one at a time onto the table and roll the hell out of it. LOL

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:29 | 3503954 akak
akak's picture

So what happens when it does hit zero?

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:30 | 3503963 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

You're gonna see some serious shit. No wait, that's 88mph.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:45 | 3504008 HelluvaEngineer
HelluvaEngineer's picture

I need a car with stainless steel body panels. Just sayin'

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 20:52 | 3504534 SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

not until the dealer tells you to wipe it with gallons of WD40 per year; brillo not included! 

p.s jamie dimon: fuck you and your SNAP-wagon!

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:35 | 3503972 Cursive
Cursive's picture


Nothing.  However, if it goes negative, and assuming the CME board actually does its job, Jamie will have to start using his "fortress balance sheet" to acquire physical gold for delivery.  That would be an interesting scramble.  Does anyone trust the CME board to do the right thing?

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:41 | 3503993 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Cursive could JPM instead start calling in loans they have against other banks and force them to part with their shiny instead?

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:50 | 3504019 Cursive
Cursive's picture


Without direct knowledge, I think it would at least be a two step process.  I would assume that most interbank loans are denominated in dollars, so at best JPM would have to cash those out and then purchase the physical gold for delivery.  That also assumes that JPM has substantial callable loans.  The overnight repo market would be the first place to raise some cash*, but I have no idea if JPM is long or short there.


ETA: *Assuming BernanQE doesn't extend a super-secret, super-special Fed loan to JPM.  JPM is one of the banks - and probably the biggest fish in that tank - that owns the Fed, afterall.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:51 | 3504030 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I hear you, I mean I wonder if JPM can trip up a derivative to the point of bringing another bank to the brink and then make them an offer (gold) in exchange for survival (letting them off the derivative hook)

You may have no direct knowledge but I am totally and completely talking out of my ass.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:06 | 3504045 Cursive
Cursive's picture


Precarious time for Jamie.  One the one hand, his arrogance must sustain him for 90% of the day.  But, for the other 10%, he must be having panic attacks that make Amanda Bynes look staid.  He can always play the Fed card if he needs it, but that would be an embarrassing admission that he was naive and wrong.  So, yeah, all options are probably on the table including some kind of takedown of a lesser light to keep his ponzi afloat.  If I was in hock to JPM, I'd correct that ASAP.


ETA:  Forget to mention that you are talking out of the same ass that Jim Willie is.  See this:

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:12 | 3504071 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Here is what I find more interesting and no one is talking about it. Dimon may be constipated but  Bernanke tapped out then fainted in the corner. No Jackson hole? Scheduling conflict?



Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:19 | 3504089 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

Like Max Baucus (D-Montana) Chair of Senate Finance committee.  Going to Montana soon.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:58 | 3504192 knukles
knukles's picture

Guys, you're all assuming that every ounce of gold leaving the JP vault is JP's and JP's alone.
Their vault holds gold for a lot of other folks.
It may not be JP who are meeting calls, demands for physical.  If it's other folks who get caught with no real shiny as JP's vault goes empty, JP does not take the hit.

Think of it this way.  You and the Misses share a Safe Deposit box at your local Wells Fargo branch.  In it you keep a boat load of cash, all the cash you got.  Mrs keeps going there for cash unbeknownst to you.  Pretty soon she empties the box.  Unbeknownst to you.  She skips town with her shrink, priest and bartender for a life of unlimited partying.  You go in to get a big lot of said cash, but there's none left.  That's between you and the Misses.  Wells Fargo has no responsibility for what you two have done with said cash.  They've just done the job of facilitating said box and your access thereto.

Don't think immediately that this all falls on JP's shoulders.
It may, it may not.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 19:03 | 3504207 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

I am assuming Knucks that there are a lot more people out there laying claim to what is left in that vault then what is actually left in that vault. So should they get wiped out, and a whole bunch of people get the shaft, what happens to the vaults at every one of those other banks immediately after? Also, do the banks pledge their respective gold as collateral on their other transactions? If so, then what happens?

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 20:40 | 3504484 cifo
cifo's picture

Why can't JPM just borrow some more physical? Or buy a few (cheap) gold companies for that matter?

Sat, 04/27/2013 - 03:08 | 3505099 Alasdair
Alasdair's picture

In this case, I don't think it's the Mrs. grabbing the money.  Isn't more a matter that the bank is telling you the money is there when it's not?

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:13 | 3504074 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

@fonz & cursive, tinfoil hat theory of the day:

did you watch the Secret History of Gold?   remember the section about the vessel that was recovering all that sunken bullion from the shipwrecks at the bottom of the sea?   betya JD has that skipper on speeddial and is rummaging over old treasure maps in his home study over the weekend.

x marks the spot bitchez

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 21:00 | 3504554 SnobGobbler
SnobGobbler's picture

no jpm, no breadline for east coast; think about ebt.. shtf cyprus style with another SIFI-rape-collapse!? 


i always hated their railroads, fuck em'

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:35 | 3503981 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Akak I see two scenario's. Either it does hit zero and nothing happens, or it just gets pegged right where it is from here on out. At some point Jamie Dimon will be on a conference call:

Reporter: "Mr. Dimon can you comment on JPM's inventory depletion of gold?"

JD: (loudly chewing potato chips) "So fuckin what?"

Reporter: "okay, back to commercial loans....."

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:45 | 3504007 tmosley
tmosley's picture

Shit goes negative as they summon paper gold from The Pit.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:49 | 3504013 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

and what happens when there is no phyz behind that paper?

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:52 | 3504034 Sofa King Confused
Sofa King Confused's picture

Do you really believe there ever was any? Interesting.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:05 | 3504059 kito
kito's picture

You think Jamie would lend any of his personal stash to jpm to cover the shortfall?????

Sat, 04/27/2013 - 08:56 | 3505276 steve from virginia
steve from virginia's picture



Wait until the oil wells start running out ... just like the gold miners are ...


"Sorry, we're all out of physical ..."

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:53 | 3504037 Cursive
Cursive's picture


Default and whatever that looks like....

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:17 | 3504092 auric1234
auric1234's picture

Then JPM will be a bank with no money, just like the Fed.


Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:33 | 3503955 CitizenPete
CitizenPete's picture

Can they do that?  CAN THEY DO THAT? 



Quick shine the <<< Matt Taibbi >>> spotlight into the clouds over Gotham.  Somebody (who can tune a yuke) please write a song about it. 

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:57 | 3504198 knukles
knukles's picture

Uncle Warren palys the Uke....
Got yourself in deep yogurt now, fellah....

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 19:06 | 3504223 Urban Roman
Urban Roman's picture

Registered => Eligible

Rehypothecation, bitchez!

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:31 | 3503959 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

in other news, JP Morgan bought 1,362 cases of gold spray paint, and  2 truckloads of bricks, citing a large HQ redecorating project.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:30 | 3503964 IridiumRebel
Fri, 04/26/2013 - 17:53 | 3504036 Common_Cents22
Common_Cents22's picture

Dimon is taping a "we buy your gold jewelry" commercial for late night TV.

Fri, 04/26/2013 - 18:12 | 3504077 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

i walk by the morgue 4 days a week......they have a banner they are starting to hang stating, "WE BUY GOLD."


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