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At $72.8 Trillion, Presenting The Bank With The Biggest Derivative Exposure In The World (Hint: Not JPMorgan)

Tyler Durden's picture




 

Moments ago the market jeered the announcement of DB's 10% equity dilution, promptly followed by cheering its early earnings announcement which was a "beat" on the topline, despite some weakness in sales and trading and an increase in bad debt provisions (which at €354MM on total loans of €399.9 BN net of a tiny €4.863 BN in loan loss allowance will have to go higher. Much higher). Ironically both events are complete noise in the grand scheme of things. Because something far more interesting can be found on page 87 of the company's 2012 financial report.

The thing in question is the company's self-reported total gross notional derivative exposure.

And while the vast majority of readers may be left with the impression that JPMorgan's mindboggling $69.5 trillion in gross notional derivative exposure as of Q4 2012 may be the largest in the world, they would be surprised to learn that that is not the case. In fact, the bank with the single largest derivative exposure is not located in the US at all, but in the heart of Europe, and its name, as some may have guessed by now, is Deutsche Bank.

The amount in question? €55,605,039,000,000. Which, converted into USD at the current EURUSD exchange rate amounts to $72,842,601,090,000....  Or roughly $2 trillion more than JPMorgan's.

The good news for Deutsche Bank's accountants and shareholders, and for Germany's spinmasters, is that through the magic of netting, this number collapses into €776.7 billion in positive market value exposure (assets), and €756.4 billion in negative market value exposure (liabilities), both of which are the single largest asset and liability line item in the firm's €2 trillion balance sheet mind you, and subsequently collapses even further into a "tidy little package" number of just €20.3. 

Of course, this works in theory, however in practice the theory falls apart the second there is discontinuity in the collateral chain as we have shown repeatedly in thh past, and not only does the €20.3 billion number promptly cease to represent anything real, but the netted derivative exposure even promptlier become the gross number, somewhere north of $70 trillion.

Which, of course, is the primary reason why Germany, theatrically kicking and screaming for the past four years, has done everything in its power, even "yielding" to the ECB, to make sure there is no domino-like collapse of European banks, which would most certainly precipitate just the kind of collateral chain breakage and net-to-gross conversion that is what causes Anshu Jain, and every other bank CEO, to wake up drenched in sweat every night.

Finally, just to keep it all in perspective, below is a chart showing Germany's GDP compared to Deutsche Bank's total derivative exposure. If nothing else, it should make clear, once and for all, just who is truly calling the Mutually Assured Destruction shots in Europe.

But don't worry, this €56 trillion in exposure, should everything go really, really bad is backed by the more than equitable €575.2 billion in deposits, or just 100 times less. Of course, a slighly more aggresive than normal bail-in may be required in case DB itself has to followin the footsteps of Cyprus...

 

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Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:07 | 3510639 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

Wowzers!

 

(btw, your graphs say billions instead of trillions but I understand its all play money anyhow)

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:05 | 3510645 Aeternus
Aeternus's picture

We are so fucked...........

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyklt01lN_I

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:10 | 3510656 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

DB is one of those 99 red ballons running out of helium and flying right over a cactus patch.....

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:15 | 3510674 JackT
JackT's picture

No..no..no. You just don't convert to USD and this didn't happen.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:15 | 3510692 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

Uber Alles!!!

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:23 | 3510714 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

What's a few trillion among the friends.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:33 | 3510762 Ahmeexnal
Ahmeexnal's picture

As I expounded a few days ago, the douche sheeple are mesmerized with the UEFA champions league and are completely oblivious to news like this.
Expect a real SHTF after the UEFA cup finals late may in Wembley.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:35 | 3510776 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

A 10000 episode Spanish soap opera is scheduled to start at the end of UEFA cup, so the waking up of the sheeple will be postponed for another 146 years.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:46 | 3510809 Stackers
Stackers's picture

Bilateral netting FTW !!!

You pick me up, then I'll pick you up. As long as neither of us lets go, we should hover 150' off the ground just fine.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:01 | 3510857 pods
pods's picture

Huh?

<smokes fat doobie>

Oh yeah, that will work!  Pass the doritos.

pods

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:03 | 3511079 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

It's cartoon gravity rules. This is what allows Bugs Bunny to jump out of a freefalling elevator when it's a foot off the ground and escape injury.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:08 | 3511110 SafelyGraze
SafelyGraze's picture

fortunately, the bar on the left represents the *notional* GDP, which is significantly larger than the *actual* GDP

 

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:14 | 3511127 francis_sawyer
francis_sawyer's picture

Keep strokin' the bishop... A big surprise awaits at the end...

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 18:29 | 3511279 Manthong
Manthong's picture

Take heart .. just two of our provincial too big to prosecute wise guys.. BOA and JPM..  together,  exceed our Teutonic good bud's phony books.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:28 | 3510954 Bananamerican
Bananamerican's picture

Bankers....industrious little termites ain't they?

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 17:19 | 3511327 Colonel Klink
Colonel Klink's picture

Bankers....insidious little termites ain't they?

 

Fixed it for you.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 19:09 | 3511662 BigJim
BigJim's picture

 ...is what causes Anshu Jain, and every other bank CEO, to wake up drenched in sweat every night.

Silly Tyler! They wake up drenched in sweat from all the hookers and blow. 

LOL. Like THEY could care less about derivatives, nett (or gross). Their homeys at the CB's have got their backs, to infinity AND beyond. 

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 17:31 | 3511363 nmewn
nmewn's picture

They have the best accountants money can bribe.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:06 | 3511101 CheapBastard
CheapBastard's picture

I hate exposure...it's so....transparent.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:15 | 3510693 quintago
quintago's picture

Counterparty risk? Nonsense....

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PozbCdtvixQ

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:23 | 3510726 xtop23
xtop23's picture

BOOM

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:42 | 3510802 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

$20.30 ...Just one yuppie foodstamp and 30 cents change.
Not bad in the collapsible world of notional derivative vortexes.

Even David Copperfield couldn't beat that illusion

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:46 | 3510813 Cacete de Ouro
Cacete de Ouro's picture

Sorry, I thought you said $20.30...

Hold on, you did, well $20.3....

But point still stands...

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:14 | 3510687 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Now you know why Banks OWN the Government and not the other way around.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:15 | 3510694 Sheeple Shepard
Sheeple Shepard's picture

And thats why he's richer than you.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 18:36 | 3511556 knukles
knukles's picture

He didn't get that rich himself.

...maniacal laughter... you are oh so right about that one, dude, and you don't even know it...  and I don't mean you as in response, I mean you as the guy who'd originally said it and has no clue whatthefuck is going on...

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:21 | 3510708 Freddie
Freddie's picture

It realy sucks that JP Morgan-Chase-Rockefeller-Rothschild or Citi did not beat D Bank.   America needs to be #1 again.

USA USA USA! 

 

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:28 | 3510739 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

As I type, the boyz and girlz downtown are tweaking spreadsheets to retake the crown.

Yes We Can!

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:40 | 3510803 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

Without proper oversight or an ethical framework...

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:30 | 3510752 reload
reload's picture

In fact I bet a lot of the DB derivatives were created by team they got with the Morgan Grenfell aquisition - and MG most certainly were part of the Morgan family of banks.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:34 | 3510774 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Morgan boys with an English accent.  They are all Satan's spawn.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:45 | 3510812 reload
reload's picture

indeed - and guess what....once they got access to the DB ballance sheet, they multiplied themselves like fractional reserve bastards.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:36 | 3510772 max2205
max2205's picture

Thank God they can raise $2,8 Billion to cover this.....oh wait....

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:19 | 3510700 Stoploss
Stoploss's picture

Well, now we know why the share offering.

Im guessing more than a few loans went bad..

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:09 | 3510889 Harbanger
Harbanger's picture

The money for the majority of shares will indirectly come from the FED.  Like I said, they have to keep monetizing the puppets in Euroland or they're finished.  German banks need bailouts just as much as the cyprus banks.  All the worlds keynesian welfare states are failing together.  That includes the US.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:18 | 3510706 caribbeanbarry
caribbeanbarry's picture

'80's pop reference.  Awesome...

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:33 | 3510738 Freddie
Freddie's picture

LOL!  I kinda of laughed and thought - oh a bullshit one hit wonder song translated from German to English that became a hit.  Well old Nena or who ever wrote the song may have nailed it.

Talks about war, destruction, jet fighters (or could be drones with O-muslim).  It talks about devastation - must be the Greece and Cyprus parts.

Maybe it is about a European war when the banks, euro and hopefully the EUSSR blow up.

Europe needs more lamp posts, rope and people with balls to put criminals in those nooses.  America sure as hell does not ahve people with those guts. 

"99 Red Balloons"   You and I, and a little toy shop
Buy a bag of balloons with the money (euros - fiat - bitcoins) we've got
Set them free at the break of dawn
'Til one by one, they were gone

Back at base, bugs in the software
Flash the message, "Some thing's out there"
Floating in the summer sky
Ninety-nine red balloons go by

Ninety-nine red balloons
Floating in the summer sky
Panic lads, it's a red alert
There's something here from somewhere else

The war machine springs to life
Opens up one eager eye
Focusing it on the sky
Ninety-nine red balloons go by

Ninety-nine Decision Street
Ninety-nine ministers meet
To worry, worry, super-scurry
Call the troops out in a hurry

This is what we've waiting for
This is it boys, this is war
The President is on the line
As ninety-nine red balloons go by

Ninety-nine knights of the air
Riding super high-tech jet fighters
Everyone's a super hero
Everyone's a Captain Kirk

With orders to identify, to clarify and classify (rehypothicate)
Scrambling in the summer sky
As ninety-nine red balloons go by
Ninety-nine red balloons go by

Ninety-nine dreams I have had
Every one a red balloon
Now it's all over and I'm standin' pretty
In this dust that was a city

If I could find a souvenir
Just to prove the world was here
And here is a red balloon
I think of you and let it go

 

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:46 | 3510822 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

"if looks could kill they proably will." it's easy to look at something and say "that guy did that" but in fact it could be just an algorithm "and nobody's the wiser." tough to do with poetry though...by definition "it doesn't make sense." thanks fer sharin'....

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 17:11 | 3511286 noless
noless's picture

99 Düsenjäger
Jeder war ein großer Krieger
Hielten sich für Captain Kirk
Das gab ein großes Feuerwerk
Die Nachbarn haben nichts gerafft
Und fühlten sich gleich angemacht
Dabei schoss man am Horizont
Auf 99 Luftballons

99 Kriegsminister -
Streichholz und Benzinkanister -
Hielten sich für schlaue Leute
Witterten schon fette Beute
Riefen Krieg und wollten Macht
Mann, wer hätte das gedacht
Dass es einmal soweit kommt
Wegen 99 Luftballons

 

rough translation(my german is shitty and google translate is a bitch with lyrics apparently)

 

the captain kirk part you got but, but the second part is: the neighbors have reaped nothing, so feel yourself made equal all because of 99 little balloons.

 

next verse:

 

99 ministers of war, with matches and gas canisters, hail to the clever people(sarcastic), whove caught wind of a fat catch, they called for war and wanted power, man who would have thought, all because of 99 little ballons.

 

wish i had the one i worked out before, sounded way better, and was a more direct translation.

 

they had to clean it up for americans. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lur-SGl3uw8

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 17:47 | 3511430 Freddie
Freddie's picture

99 ministers of war, with matches and gas canisters, hail to the clever people(sarcastic), whove caught wind of a fat catch, they called for war and wanted power,

For a pop song this was suprisingly good.  This was circa 1980. Boy Europe has really been F over since 1980.

Just change it to 99 EU(SSR) ministers with the banksters who want to F over all Europeans. . Hail to the banksters with their fiat and derivatives.

 

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:23 | 3510718 Jorgen
Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:17 | 3510924 steelhead23
steelhead23's picture

Seens like just a couple years ago Reggie Middleton was drawing a bullseye on DB, but only a few paid him any attention as zombie banks may be dead on paper, but the people of Cyprus and others have been enslaved to ensure those derivatives remain money good.  Heck, DB is up 4.6% on the day as I write this.  Go figure.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:25 | 3510720 Longtermnotreally
Longtermnotreally's picture

Deutsche Bank über alles, especially when it comes to collapse potential

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:30 | 3510744 Freddie
Freddie's picture

99 Red Euros float buy.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:27 | 3511164 THECOMINGDEPRESSION
THECOMINGDEPRESSION's picture

I think its an accounting "error", "mistake", "misplacement".. Its actually probaby MUCH bigger then that..

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 21:54 | 3512247 Spigot
Spigot's picture

How did you get to 'we', grasshopper?

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:09 | 3510652 SilverIsKing
SilverIsKing's picture

The trillions graph is still at the printer.  There's a backlog due to another customer print order.  Customer name is Bernanke.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:22 | 3510713 trollin4sukrz
trollin4sukrz's picture

A trillion here and a trillion there.. before you know it-it adds up to some real money..

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:27 | 3510730 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

MODERN WAR

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:36 | 3510771 PiratePawpaw
PiratePawpaw's picture

What could go wrong?.........

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:48 | 3510830 disabledvet
disabledvet's picture

The word "everything"'comes to mind. Of course "if it's just a game"...in the wrong hands it could...

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:51 | 3510836 williambanzai7
williambanzai7's picture

DEUTSCHE BANK HQ

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:35 | 3510969 Not Too Important
Not Too Important's picture

I'll bet Bill Gross will have this framed and hung in his panic room, with full stocked bar, exercise bike and Au stash.

What could possibly be going through his mind? So close to this evil, yet seemingly not of it.

I know Kyle would like to short DB, but who would be left to pay out when it hit?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 14:46 | 3523431 Wolferl
Wolferl's picture

Kriegsführung.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:28 | 3510750 B2u
B2u's picture

Time for the macarena dance...

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:35 | 3510767 Olephant
Olephant's picture

The confusion probably comes from the fact that Germans use the word Milliarden instead of Billion and the word Billionen translates to Trillion in English.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:44 | 3510816 prains
prains's picture

the big red dildo of pain just keeps getting bigger and one day somebody will have to bend over and pay the bill, sure hope its dick cheney, he could sure use a good "moral cleansing"

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:07 | 3511094 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Dick Cheney is such an evil fuck that he'd take it all without grimacing, laugh, and say, "is that all you've got?"

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:36 | 3511196 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

You're both wrong, all of Dick Cheney's digestive orifaces were plugged with tungsten plating decades ago. 

That which does not eat earthly food, needs no earthly holes.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:01 | 3510870 azzhatter
azzhatter's picture

yeah, but how much in the NWO currency TPTB are planning to issue?

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:40 | 3511211 IdiocracyIsAlre...
IdiocracyIsAlreadyHere's picture

Calling it play money would be generous as it doesn't exist in any form but 1s and 0s.  As much as commenters complain about the "printing presses" printed paper fiat would actually be an improvement as it would at least exist in some sort of physical form.  That is why I am thinking the sane thing would be to just let it all be wiped out - would it really create any real lasting damage to destroy a work of fiction?

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 17:20 | 3511331 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Its called jubilee.

Wipe the debts clean.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 19:23 | 3511717 Seer
Seer's picture

"would it really create any real lasting damage to destroy a work of fiction?"

That Fiction is tied in with a LOT of other fiction, and when fiat pukes we'll find out that almost everything has been improperly priced.  The house of cards is how everything has been created.  Without some way to orderly re-price things velocity of money will likely go to zero; nearly everything will come to a screeching halt.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 18:59 | 3511648 ajax
ajax's picture

 

 

@FieldingMellish et al

As "Olephant" has pointed out:

"The confusion probably comes from the fact that Germans use the word Milliarden instead of Billion and the word Billionen translates to Trillion in English."

Good to keep in mind here.  Thanks Olephant

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 19:21 | 3511712 german Wunderkind
german Wunderkind's picture

German counting is different, we use the original french system where 1 trillion is 1018 and not 1012 like in the US of A.  thats why the graph says billion(1012)

 

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:08 | 3510641 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I'm a male. So I always think bigger is better.

/snark

<Can someone please explain to me how this won't all end badly?>

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:09 | 3510662 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

If it were to end badly that would be bad, so that won't happen. It's that simple. Today we will see JPM's vault will magically have more gold in it. 

We will all me insane by the time this thing gives.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:28 | 3510740 Shell Game
Shell Game's picture

'We will all me insane by the time this thing gives.'

In progress..........................

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:30 | 3510748 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

They can spin them plates a lot longer than you think they can.  It's a practiced skill, like being a magician or a circus freak.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 19:24 | 3511725 Seer
Seer's picture

It's been going on for a LONG time.

It happened slowly, then all at once...

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:59 | 3510851 negative rates
negative rates's picture

No, they just leverage it higher. In theory, the boss could simply walk into the bank wearing a gold ring, leverage that to say 10,000 to one, take out a loan on the leverage amount at a low .25%. Hit the streets with a gold ETF and a fresh couple million. Live off the sales until you need a second ring. You got 8 fingers, 2 thumbs, and 2 ears, and didin't even build that, but your rich anyhows so it don't matter.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:06 | 3511104 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

"If it were to end badly, that would be bad, mmmkay?"

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:13 | 3510665 espirit
espirit's picture

Matrix Metrics.

We took the redpill, remember?

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:46 | 3510819 BLOTTO
BLOTTO's picture

I just didnt take the red pill...

.

I injected the Mofo...

.

And yes, this ends badly.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:13 | 3510667 LawsofPhysics
LawsofPhysics's picture

"It" simply won't end.  Next question please.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:29 | 3510754 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

This will never end, because when it does, they will lean on Merriam-Webster (probably underwater on repackaged subprime securities and flagging due to people using dictionary.com) to redefine the word "end" to refer to some other page in the dictionary, which will itself refer the reader to some other page, on so on and so forth like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book with lousy editing.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:50 | 3511239 ljag
ljag's picture

Flasher

That was great! I'm still lol!

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:59 | 3511266 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Simple...

Bazillion $ platinum coin.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 17:42 | 3511417 Ghordius
Ghordius's picture

"Can someone please explain to me how this won't all end badly?"

because it's just a mad intra-megabank paper imagination game. no way to see it differently, eventually

megabanks chain themselves to it like strikers to the gates of a factory, only it's the FED and those CBs they can strongarm

just ban that hideous stuff, would be a quicker solution

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:07 | 3510642 michiganmaven
michiganmaven's picture

Charts should be trillion not billion... 

 

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:07 | 3510643 Fuku Ben
Fuku Ben's picture

The FED new purchasing policy rates it a strong buy

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:17 | 3510691 JackT
JackT's picture

Already talk on Bloomberg about increasing Q^

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:06 | 3510646 bugs_
bugs_'s picture

Was ist das??

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:22 | 3510719 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

Das ist eine riesege Schwanz in den Arsch!

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:16 | 3510918 MonsterBox
MonsterBox's picture

Fed to Berlin:  "Keine gold fur sie!"

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:36 | 3510784 PiratePawpaw
PiratePawpaw's picture

Es machts nicht...gehen sie schlafen.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:21 | 3510928 Z_End
Z_End's picture

DB Überschrift zum Scheißhaus...

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:37 | 3511202 KnightTakesKing
KnightTakesKing's picture

At least there will be plenty of paper there.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:08 | 3510647 Crtrvlt
Crtrvlt's picture

DB - the largest beneficiary of the greek (and other so european countries) "bailout"

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:08 | 3510649 css1971
css1971's picture

You've got your billions and trillions mixed up there. I know, lots of zeros it's hard to keep track.

That's why scientific notation was invented. Really, you know it makes sense.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:06 | 3510650 JPM Hater001
JPM Hater001's picture

I hate JPM not being #1 in everything.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:07 | 3510653 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

A trillion here a trillion there and pretty soon we're gonna be talking real money.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:15 | 3510677 espirit
espirit's picture

Personally, I "like" gazzillions.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:32 | 3510765 Thisson
Thisson's picture

That is good!  I like Brazzilions!

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:11 | 3510654 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Dear DB Account Holder,

due to some recent unpredicted losses in our derivatives book, 50% of your cash account has been converted into DB common equity in a newly issued non-sellable equity class called DBFF (DB fucked forever).  

Rgds,

Anshu (the Indian guy from London who cannot really speak your language, but you trust anyhow because you want to be regarded as multi-culti)

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:14 | 3510685 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

The template that supposedly isn't a template. Bank runs this summer?

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:30 | 3510707 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

Cyprus already happened and there were no bank runs. There could be bank runs and there would be no bank runs. It's all good. we are getting worked up over over nothing. In all honesty DB ain't going anywhere. Never gonna happen. if the idea is tat DB pulls the plug on someone else I would love to see some evidence.

I understand the junks for this comment. But can someone present anything other than the fact that DB just got 3 bil more capitalized today than they were yesterday?

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:52 | 3510831 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Yeah, I'm probably hoping for too much. Cyprus caused me to have my own bank run/jog/trot, but there obviously weren't many others who reacted that way.

Not sure what would cause more people to wake up. I guess it would have to be multiple bank failures, but that's likely when governments would step in and taxpayers would get screwed all over again because "it's for the children."

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 17:25 | 3511341 Herd Redirectio...
Herd Redirection Committee's picture

Not many others?  You were looking for lineups at the bank, the lineups were at the bullion dealer (online and local).  The one thing you can credit the current fiat fraud with is convenience! 

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 17:28 | 3511359 tenpanhandle
tenpanhandle's picture

At this stage of the game, to the masses (aka sheeple), it still represents other peoples money.  This means the plan is working fine.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:05 | 3510876 PontifexMaximus
PontifexMaximus's picture

Gerne geschehen, wir schicken ihnen noch ein paar Euros mehr.....es ist doch UNSERE Deutsche Bank, wir lassen uns doch nicht lumpen!

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:11 | 3510657 Hulk
Hulk's picture

In theory, AIG wouldn't have needed $180 billion of taxpayer bailouts to cover their derivatives losses.

In practice... We should have let AIG and Goldman Sachs fail. But just like on TV, the defeated killer is allowed to live, which just ain't reality...

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:08 | 3510658 Stuart
Stuart's picture

the figures are in trillions but the graph is in billions. 

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:13 | 3510659 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

Germany is a little shrimp

2.7 billion economy........................

 

The European entrepot economy is over.

 

We in Ireland became a Imperial market for Germany & France post 1973 /80.

 

When that imploded in 2007/8 they sought to make the entrepot economy smaller by turning us into a hinterland for their wasteful operations.

Now this smaller entrepot is imploding.

 

Go fuck yourself you fucking bastards.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:30 | 3510751 Terminus C
Terminus C's picture

I always thought it strange that the Irish would throw off one yoke (English despotism) for another (European monetary despotism).  Are you masochists?

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:35 | 3510760 THE DORK OF CORK
THE DORK OF CORK's picture

You don't understand Ireland.

It has not been a homogenous society for over 1000 years.........

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWHyJrd2xP8&list=UUDGN6PKvJsFcfsbz0Des4GQ&index=7

There is no we in Ireland

There is us and them.

Even when we all looked alike there was my tribe and their tribe.

The Icelandics are a bunch of Norse with the best looking Irish girls taken to buff out their gene pool.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:41 | 3510800 Freddie
Freddie's picture

Is that f***ing tax cheat, hyprocrite & global corporate shill Bono Hewison and the rest of U2 (richest people in Ireland) considered to be us or them?

Doesn't Ireland have any lamp posts for these cheeky lads?

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 17:47 | 3511438 Freddie
Freddie's picture

LOL!  Junked by some tard U2 fan who thinks Bono's lyrics are deep.   F tax cheaters U2.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 18:24 | 3511543 ross81
ross81's picture

you may or may not have heard the true story/urban legend of Bono at one of his concerts starting a slow clap whilst stating "everytime I clap my hands, a child in the 3rd world dies". So a guy in the audience pipes up and says "well stop fuckin clapping then".

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:34 | 3510779 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

I hit wikipedia to do some analysis (lol) of this comment, but their page has no entry for either "economy" or "commerce".

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:35 | 3510971 css1971
css1971's picture

They didn't understand what money is... Still don't. The Irish I know still blame themselves and are catholic so yes they're masochists.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:18 | 3511135 Ourrulersknowbest
Ourrulersknowbest's picture

The irish(I am Irish) are like all other western populations,grown fat and lazy on iPhones,x box and X factor.all the people want is to believe the dipshit leaders have our best interests at heart,and it will all be ok.it will all be ok.IT WILL ALL BE OK!
NO IT FUCKING WILL NOT!
Germany is not the prudent nation we should all aspire to.I have nothing against German people except for the trust they have in their authorities.german people will berate you if you jay walk.great,they love to inforce rules.But the dishonest fuckers they elect like to piss on the rule book in the morning.
FUCK off ANGELA YOU FAT BANKERS WHORE!
If DB blows up( and it might not because these cunts are good at the plate spinning)we will all be SHOCKED!SHOCKED!
If DB blows up,who's gonna get presented with the bill? You,me and every other stupid citizen of planet EURO.the scum will run with their fat bonuses.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 17:21 | 3511322 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

But the Irish have Jack Taylor who can solve crimes while passed out shitfaced.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 18:35 | 3511572 ross81
ross81's picture

amazes me the amount of times in recent years I've been told at dinner parties "ohhh, so you want to make us poor again" upon suggesting Ireland exits the Euro & EU. Maybe another Irish taxpayer contribution of, say, a trillion Euros, to Deutsche's derivatives bill will finally shake the stupid out of these morons.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:12 | 3510660 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Let them fail. Its the only way to be sure.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:09 | 3510661 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

the only digits that mean anything anymore are found on our hands

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:12 | 3510670 BanksterSlayer
BanksterSlayer's picture

(especially that digit that pulls a trigger.)

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:10 | 3510663 Poor Grogman
Poor Grogman's picture

You can't eat a derivative

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:13 | 3510678 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

but it can eat you

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:12 | 3510664 Silver_K-9
Silver_K-9's picture

"9-9-9" - Herman Von Cain

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:17 | 3510686 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

"C-C-C" Cascading Collateral Carnage - mkorner

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:34 | 3510775 Proofreder
Proofreder's picture

F U B A R

youknowwhatitmeans

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:37 | 3510988 pods
pods's picture

And FUBAR quickly leads to BOHICA.

pods

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:53 | 3511249 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

You forgot one.

Cross

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:13 | 3510666 jal
jal's picture

Poor people don't need to worry about those debts.

Nothing left to lose.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:17 | 3510702 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

I wished it were that easy, but something tells me blood will flow - rich and poor.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:12 | 3510669 FieldingMellish
FieldingMellish's picture

I wonder if there will come a point where even having an empty account at one of these fine institutions will cause you to become encumbered by their ineptitude. Debt transfer by association?

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:19 | 3510699 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

Just being a 'people' should qualify you.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:30 | 3510753 Abraxas
Abraxas's picture

Even if you are cold and no longer breathing they'll find a way to stick it to you. These guys are thorough, I'll give 'em that.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:37 | 3510792 CrimsonAvenger
CrimsonAvenger's picture

Yep. Here in the states, your social security number enrolls you in the taxpayer lotto. Elsewhere, I suppose it's whatever mark of the beast they have locally.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:12 | 3510673 slaughterer
slaughterer's picture

Big thanks to the Tyler who combed the books to find that derivatives balance.  Something really stinks here at the Taunusanlage, and it ain't the roasted Wurst from the Fressgasse.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:15 | 3510675 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture

 

 

$45 T in interest rate derivatives.  That says when interest rates break out, Ben and his CB compadres are going to find themselves paws up in an alley. 

It's no wonder there is such incredible compression in the Eurodollar curve. 

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:16 | 3510680 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

Note to self: Must reduce DB exposure from 80 Euro to 40 Euro in bank account, to mitigate risk of catastrophic liquidity scenario.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:15 | 3510682 dontgoforit
dontgoforit's picture

I know an ant can carry 100 times it's own weight; but this is an ant who can't.  Whoops there goes another rubber tree plant, damn.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:16 | 3510684 ytilitalov
ytilitalov's picture

And since when are notionals meaningful when it comes to derivative exposures?

How much DV01, CS01, delta etc. is this?

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:31 | 3510763 Tyler Durden
Tyler Durden's picture

Good point. Oh wait, the same DV01, CS01, delta, counterparty risk, etc, and all other paper calculations that fed into some excel model and led Lehman to believe its Value at Risk (with a 99% confidence level) was just $150 the day before filing? The same VaR limit that implied just a slightly lower total loss than the sub 10% recovery on Unsecured claims and the wipeout of tens of billions in debt?

Or maybe you are referring to the tiny reported derivative exposure by Lehman as of June 30, 2008 which somehow ended up being magnified substantilaly when the bank filed, and led to a $20+ trillion bailout by the Fed of the entire financial system?

We are confused.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:36 | 3510786 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

$150?  Could have paid that out of the bagel budget.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:39 | 3510801 PiratePawpaw
PiratePawpaw's picture

Drink more......It helps.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:04 | 3510865 McMolotov
McMolotov's picture

Sometimes it helps, but I'm hung over as hell today, and I probably understood four words of Tyler's response. It would be Sanskrit if I were drunk...

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:12 | 3510908 ParkAveFlasher
ParkAveFlasher's picture

My favorite part of the magical world of derivatives, is how every bet is matched with a mirror-image bet so that the outcome of all activity sums to zero. 

Failing that, the Cat in the Hat appears, calls upon Little Cat Z, the Z you can't see, and makes it all better using VOOM!

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:37 | 3510973 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

nice

it's sad when Dr. Seuss is the only financial analogy that works anymore

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:36 | 3510974 steelhead23
steelhead23's picture

Every bet is matched???  OK, maybe, but quite a few on the "wrong" side of those bets (Abacus anyone) likely had no idea they were betting - they thought they were making "investments."  I hope that by now, everyone has read Matt Tiabi's latest - interest rate rigging.  Forget Communits, forget terrorists, forget illegal immigrants - the real, true, sworn enemies of the American people are the banksters.  And, BTW - they're winning.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 16:57 | 3511262 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

As long as there's someone* out there willing to go "double or nothing" then it's all good.

*That would be you, via proxy.

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 14:46 | 3510825 kito
kito's picture

YEAH!!! what tyler said!!!.................................

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 15:04 | 3510869 Miss Expectations
Miss Expectations's picture

EXCEL(lent)!

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 17:42 | 3511408 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

it's almost as if this is all.... bullshit

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 18:38 | 3511577 FLHRS
FLHRS's picture

golf clap

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 19:53 | 3511822 Benjamin Glutton
Benjamin Glutton's picture

perhaps it's time to stop calling 2008 a banker bailout and switch to DEPOSITOR bailout for the cheap seats...

 

TIA!

Mon, 04/29/2013 - 22:06 | 3512295 Spigot
Spigot's picture

i'm so sorry, but when I saw that table I started giggling uncontrolably. i'm better now.

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