"Who Is Ben Bernanke's Worst Nightmare?"

Tyler Durden's picture


All we can say is that we are very delighted that an imaginary character from a fictitious narrative is not Ben Bernanke's worst nightmare. The truth is that he has much more real things to worry about.

Source: Yahoo Finance

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Tue, 04/30/2013 - 10:56 | 3513809 FOC 1183
FOC 1183's picture

I'm thinking ZH should be above 8%...

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 10:59 | 3513827 idea_hamster
idea_hamster's picture

Minsky didn't make the list, huh?  What did he do, lose in the primary because someone took a picture of him sitting in a chair?

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:03 | 3513850 MillionDollarBonus_
MillionDollarBonus_'s picture

Bernanke's worst nightmare is a deflationary collapse brought on by a weak and passive monetary policy. He knows full well that he bares full responsibility for aggregate demand in not just America, but all over the world. This is his mission, and his vigilance and ability to face down the challenges that the economy presents will determine his legacy. I hope for his sake and for the sake of America, that he makes the right decisions.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:03 | 3513858 Blano
Blano's picture

Bares?  lol

I'd rather he not.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:13 | 3513896 Fredo Corleone
Fredo Corleone's picture

Bernanke's worst nightmare ?

And a recurring one at that: the late Augustus Saint-Gaudens, of course.


Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:15 | 3513909 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

Home Run, MDB.  The world?  Grand Slam, even!

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:17 | 3513919 Jay Gould Esq.
Jay Gould Esq.'s picture

Bravo, Fredo.


Tue, 04/30/2013 - 15:38 | 3515094 Pool Shark
Pool Shark's picture

But, I thought vampires were afraid of silver...

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 15:53 | 3515151 Mountainview
Mountainview's picture

I know his name:

Zhou Xiaochuan

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:23 | 3513968 Stuck on Zero
Stuck on Zero's picture

Bernanke's worst nightmare?  I vote for Murphy.


Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:37 | 3514035 BurningFuld
BurningFuld's picture

Ben won't be at Jackson Hole caus' he is busy filming his episode of Doomsday Preppers.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 12:31 | 3514322 DaveyJones
DaveyJones's picture

Ben Bernanke's worst nightmare is Ben Bernanke

Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the chairest of them all?

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 17:36 | 3515555 HyperinflatmyNutts
HyperinflatmyNutts's picture

Bennie Boys worst Nightmare is a Fucking


Tue, 04/30/2013 - 12:29 | 3514323 Pegasus Muse
Pegasus Muse's picture

"What Is Ben Bernanke's Worst Nightmare?"

The Truth.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 12:55 | 3514411 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

He can't handle the truth. Publicly.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 16:06 | 3515204 Kirk2NCC1701
Kirk2NCC1701's picture

He'll either be irrelevant (replaced) by then, or busy welcoming the Chairman of The Federation Reserve (of the Federation of Panets) to the spaceport at Area 51. 

Purpose: To 'align' his monetary policies to that of the Federation, since his QE-to-Infinity caught so much attention at Starfleet, and affects First Contact going public sooner than later.


Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:16 | 3513905 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

His Worst nightmare is a broken Zero key on the ol' keyboard.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:52 | 3513992 The Big Ching-aso
The Big Ching-aso's picture

We already have a worst nightmare.   If it gets any worse we'll have 333 million on foodstamps.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 13:00 | 3514412 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

I am starting to think that is the plan.  Get just about everyone sucking on the government teat, then use that dependency to "fundamentally change" this Country. The retired, the disabled, the unemployed, government workers, military, etc...  Everyone pulling a government check or benefit.

Plus, with the government dependent on the FED (Banksters) for their funding, it all comes into focus. 

The hand that gives is always above the hand that takes.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 13:37 | 3514576 Vince Clortho
Vince Clortho's picture

The System can be broken in any number of ways.  TPTB have been using a very drawn out incremental approach of steady erosion to break down the American Republic. In the past 5 years the pace has quickened noticeably.  Partly by design, but also the accumulated mass of the mudslide has a destiny of its own.

Bernanke at this point in time could be likened to a snowmobile racing at breakneck speed down a mountainside, still somewhat in control, but desparately trying not to be swallowed up by the avalanche in his rear view mirror.

And when the chaos comes, the Banksters and their minions will be ready to assume control of the one-world-government which has been the aim all along.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:37 | 3514039 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

More likely it's the "P" key (redundant CTRL keys).

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 14:01 | 3514702 BigJim
BigJim's picture

Bernanke's 'zero' key was long ago replaced by a '000,000,000' key

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 15:00 | 3514928 FEDbuster
FEDbuster's picture

with a gold crown over the worn out plastic key.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:09 | 3513875 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

You're right.

$3 million tax free to every U.S. household.

The most honest and effective stimulus he could provide.

Why waste it on banks and Wall Street versus taxpayers? 

Unless of course...your goal is something other than stated.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:10 | 3513882 Dick Buttkiss
Dick Buttkiss's picture

Good one, MDB. Not the best of the sarc you so gleefully dispense but good enough for a wry smile.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:11 | 3513889 Jekyll_n_Hyde_Island
Jekyll_n_Hyde_Island's picture
Associated Press 1336 04262013

In what can only be described as a freak transposition of bodily functions, Chairman Bernanke sharted himself earlier this morning.
Witnesses say the incident occurred whilst Mr. Bernanke consulted a Ouija Board, attempting to determine the numerical sum of future Icosahedron die rolls. The die, fondly called “the blackrock” is used during a Dungeons & Dragons/Macroeconomics game played by some of the most powerful men in the world via a Federal Reserve hosted video conference.
A White House correspondent described the game as, “a crucial part of our economic policy” and, “a custom tailored, multifaceted tool that quantifies the demands of the Federal Reserve and its global initiatives.”
When prompted to answer the cause of a grown man sharting, a medical professional on site observed, “the shart was probably a result of Chairman Bernanke’s inability to measure and weigh risk with investment.” He went on to say, “Subsequently, his sphincter was unable to know the difference between a solid and a gas.”

  ZH 1 Bernanke 0

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:11 | 3513899 orez65
orez65's picture

Bernanke is managing a fraud: fiat money, the US Dollar.

A criminal, although a legal criminal, can not make the "right decision".

The Federal Reserve was created to protect the banks and monetize the US' deficit spending, which is also FRAUD.

For the sake of America what is needed is to obey the US Constitution, which prohibits fiat money, a FRAUD.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:29 | 3513985 AldousHuxley
AldousHuxley's picture

It is just a con fidence game after all ...
G20 elites doing the same money printing
US backs their game with military tech

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:30 | 3513990 1000 splendid suns
1000 splendid suns's picture

When the dust settles, I hope all these fucking banksters get Andrew Jacksoned back to the snake pit from which they came.

Our money is rotten = our morality is rotten.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 12:44 | 3514381 AvoidingTaxation
AvoidingTaxation's picture


Today gold is attacked

->money is fake

>it is impossible to save

>people can or doesn't want to work

>the work ethics is destroyed by nickilism

>nihilism, cinism, scepticism, atheism destroy morality

without morality not easy to find illumination

and to become the buddah or the übermensch

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 13:13 | 3514513 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Without a dictionary it is not easy to spell.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 12:32 | 3514325 tango
tango's picture

I'm a lifelong coin collector and have studied the history of our coinage.  One is struck by the enormous efforts lawmakers took to assure that intrinsic matched stated value (a silver dollar contained a dollar's worth of silver). Thus, the frequent size changes, barsm stars, deletions, the huge fight over nickle ("that baseless substance"), the promise to destroy paper money "quickly", the fights over silver-gold ratios.      

Of course, this was one of the few tasks designated by the Constitution specifically for Congress and as such, they took it seriously.  We've always had paper transactions but they were backed up by PMs.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:14 | 3513904 resurger
resurger's picture


Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:37 | 3514045 thedrickster
thedrickster's picture

I've said it before and will say it again, you fucking rock.

Exposing Keynesian insanity one satire at a time.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 12:28 | 3514311 killallthefiat
killallthefiat's picture

Still good for a laugh

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 13:59 | 3514690 q99x2
q99x2's picture

MDB you artless beef-witted clack-dish article shill good to hear from you again. Got a red one from the gippur.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 16:09 | 3515216 Long_Xau
Long_Xau's picture

Giving a central bank a mandate related to a positive outcome for an economy is like giving a standing army a mandate to "spare as many lifes as possible" - they first have to create a huge mess, without being noticed, if they are ever to start pretending they're doing anything about it. Otherwise there's just nothing to do! And their biggest fear is that someone realizes that they are utterly useless and shouldn't exist in the first place.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:08 | 3513874 vmromk
vmromk's picture

The Bernank is going to have much bigger things to worry about when his FUCKED UP experiment goes BOOM.

Like, which country will safe harbor him.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:15 | 3513908 TuesdayBen
TuesdayBen's picture

Shelter in place.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:15 | 3513922 Leopold B. Scotch
Leopold B. Scotch's picture

He's got a seat next to Homer Simpson over at the Masons when this puppy blows.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:14 | 3513917 mayhem_korner
mayhem_korner's picture



By "safe harbor" you mean "bury", right?

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:18 | 3513935 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Thats a no brainer...he will go back to Israel with the rest of his Wall street Jbag cronies....

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 10:57 | 3513832 Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's picture

Let's fix that!


Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:09 | 3513880 resurger
resurger's picture

confirmed, 1 extra barbarian voted

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:18 | 3513923 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

ZH now at 9%.

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:20 | 3513932 NoDebt
NoDebt's picture

And another.

Damn, could it possibly take longer for Yahoo Finance's main page to load?  I've downloaded entire HD porn videos in less time than it takes that pile of cross-linked crap to come up.  Even ZH pages load faster!

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:56 | 3514154 Frastric
Frastric's picture

ZH now at 10%!

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 10:58 | 3513833 Dr. Richard Head
Dr. Richard Head's picture

I am working on changing that...

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:11 | 3513901 Ralph Spoilsport
Ralph Spoilsport's picture

Clear the yahoo cookie, vote, clear yahoo cookie, vote.........

Tue, 04/30/2013 - 11:03 | 3513863 jeebus
jeebus's picture

I'd put Jim Rickards and Max Keiser on there as well. Keiser reaches a lot of people internationally.

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