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And For Its Next Trick, JPMorgan Takes Over The SEC

Tyler Durden's picture


JPM wasn't satisfied with demonstrating its implicit control over the US bond issuing authority by promoting Matt Zames to the post of COO, the same Matt Zames who courtesy of his Chairmanship of the TBAC, also effectively runs the US Treasury where he "advises" the brand new Treasury Secretary who has no idea what he is doing. Oh no. Just to cover all its bases, Jamie Dimon's firm decided to also take over the SEC as well.

From a Notice of Withdrawal of appearance of one Andrew J. Ceresney filed in the case of the People of New York versus JPMorgan, in which find that Mr. Ceresney, formerly partner at Debevoise, the same firm that current SEC chief Mary Jo White came from, is no longer with the firm.

So, where is he then?

Cerseney... Cerseney... where have we seen that name.... Oh yes.

From press release 2013-67 by the SEC

George Canellos and Andrew Ceresney Named Co-Directors of Enforcement




Washington, D.C., April 22, 2013 — The Securities and Exchange Commission today announced that Acting Director George Canellos and former federal prosecutor Andrew Ceresney have been named Co-Directors of the Division of Enforcement.


Previously, Mr. Ceresney, 41, served as a Deputy Chief Appellate Attorney in the United States Attorney's Office for the Southern District of New York, where he was a member of the Securities and Commodities Fraud Task Force and the Major Crimes Unit. As a prosecutor, Mr. Ceresney handled numerous white collar criminal investigations, trials and appeals, including matters relating to securities fraud, mail and wire fraud, and money laundering.


Most recently, Mr. Ceresney served as a partner in the law firm of Debevoise & Plimpton LLP, where he focused on representing entities and individuals in white collar criminal and SEC investigations, complex civil litigation and internal corporate investigations.

George and Andrew are two of the best lawyers and finest people I know. They are a perfect combination to lead the talented Enforcement Division professionals who protect investors and keep our markets safe and vibrant,” said Mary Jo White, SEC Chair.


Mr. Ceresney said, “I am truly humbled to be joining the SEC’s Enforcement Division with its rich history and deeply committed and talented people. I am excited to be charged with implementing Chairman White’s mandate of bold and unrelenting enforcement and thrilled to be teaming again with George, an immensely talented lawyer and close friend.”


The Enforcement Division is the agency's largest unit, with more than 1,200 investigators, accountants, trial attorneys and other professionals. In recent years the division has achieved remarkable success prosecuting financial crisis cases, insider trading and other violations, while returning billions to harmed investors.


Mr. Ceresney served as a law clerk to the Honorable Dennis Jacobs, Chief Judge of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit from 1997 to 1998. He served as law clerk to the Honorable Michael Mukasey, formerly Chief Judge of the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York, from 1996 to 1997. Mr. Ceresney is a graduate of Columbia College and Yale Law School.

Golf clap, Jamie old boy. Golf clap.

And always remember: it is "chronic underfunding" that is preventing the SEC from performing its duties.

h/t Manal


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Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:17 | 3520700 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

Die bitches!!! 

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:18 | 3520707 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

You are speak German?

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:20 | 3520720 ihedgemyhedges
ihedgemyhedges's picture

Ok I'm confused.  Does this mean there will be more porn or less porn???????

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:26 | 3520747 Major Major Major
Major Major Major's picture

Always MOAR!


The question is, do they pay to get him his own username / password or let him use Mary's?

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:42 | 3520802 prains
prains's picture



I am Kermit and I support this comment



Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:49 | 3520825 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

Remember the days when you would watch a TV Doco on some country going through a Coup.....WELL!!!!

Looks like a Duck, Quacks like a.....

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:54 | 3520834 strannick
strannick's picture

It is chronic porn addiction and regulatory capture that is keeping the SEC from performing its duty (aka its the ''booty'' and the ''looty'' getting in the way of the duty).

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:55 | 3520847 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

If America were a Dog, you'd have put the fucker down by now.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:58 | 3520850 prains
prains's picture

both pupils are clouding over, son it's time

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:02 | 3520865 TwoShortPlanks
TwoShortPlanks's picture

JP Morgue Theme Song:

"So long and thanks for all the wealth"

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 07:01 | 3521604 imaginalis
imaginalis's picture

"who protect investors and keep our markets safe and vibrant,” said Mary Jo White, SEC Chair."



Thu, 05/02/2013 - 00:13 | 3521295 wee-weed up
wee-weed up's picture

Long Vaseline Petroleum Jelly!

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:22 | 3520740 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

Would you like to bet that the Dow and S&P will be up tomorrow.

Who wants to play in this rigged market except those who bet with the house.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:38 | 3520781 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



Dammit Boris! I drink much less lately due to price of compulsions, and that was expensive keyboard disinfecting just now.


Thu, 05/02/2013 - 01:35 | 3521397 zhandax
Thu, 05/02/2013 - 03:07 | 3521456 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

Useful link...

However, in Boris's defence it was Kermit's pic that destroyed mine on this occassion. Thankfully the mouse is still usable.

Tylers... have you got indemnity insurance for the 'pending' damaged Keyboard class action?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 03:35 | 3521485 zhandax
zhandax's picture

Tylers....avoid the attorney's fees.  Charge $20 to register and send out a spill-spurt-splash-proof keyboard.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:18 | 3520724 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

Maybe we are going to have to do this the hard way.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:00 | 3520858 Everyman
Everyman's picture

Yes we will have to do this the "hard way".

Revolution and punishment of the transgressors needs to be swift and terrible.  These people are walking dead now.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 02:18 | 3521439 Flagit
Flagit's picture

Tyler, you thieving muppet-mother-fucker!

i posted that pic!


you're welcome :)

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:19 | 3520704 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Open wide and say "Controlled opposition."

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:17 | 3520721 Boris Alatovkrap
Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Who is appoint SEC and Treasury in Amerika? Is not Obama, anti-capitalist? Maybe Obama is not so anti-capitalist as corrupt organ appoint friend and donor. Hahahaha, Amerikans is fooled and is now reap foul stench of east wind!

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:12 | 3520917 centerline
centerline's picture

SEC = internal affairs.  lol.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:02 | 3521101 TheFourthStooge-ing
TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Goatse Kermit cannot be unseen.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:19 | 3520713 zorba THE GREEK
zorba THE GREEK's picture

The corruption has become so blatant now, when will people wake up and demand justice?

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:25 | 3520742 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

If you dare to make any demands, you will have your food stamps stopped. This will be just the beginning. If you persist more will follow. Justice has a price tag these days and if you cannot afford it, you can't expect it.



Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:55 | 3520839 RebelDevil
RebelDevil's picture

It's simpler than that. Basic Physcology of the Sheeple - The Milgram Experiment.

Many may become aware, but most will do nothing but obey. It is the nature of the submissive sheeple that we call humanity. Only dominants who can conjure the will of the people can do anything about tyranny.
In all reality, nothing has really changed over the last 5,000 years except science, technology, engineering, and most notably, the methods that tyrannts use.
First it was Military, then "God", then Feudalism, then Crony Capitalism.

Let the Robespierres rise! The time has come!

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:05 | 3520881 illyia
illyia's picture



The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the search bar above.

  1. physiology
  2. physicality
  3. physiological
  4. physiognomy

Good post though...

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:53 | 3521061 RebelDevil
RebelDevil's picture

lol i know my spelling is a little off if I don't inspect it. XD

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:33 | 3520986 Cobra
Cobra's picture

Food stamps... I think you mean blank checks, sir! You can literally take money out of an ATM via your "food card" and buy smokes and booze, lobsters, and Western Union 700 Pesos to Mechico at the grocery store. As a skilled tradesman, servicing faulty appliances in a retail environment, I have seen some shit...

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:11 | 3521140 SilverRhino
SilverRhino's picture

The worst part of food stamps?? The federal government has an insidious weapon against a potentially victorious revolt. Citizens rise up in a city or a state? Poof, no more EBT and you have an instant revoltby the poor against everyone in the area.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:29 | 3520755 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

When it is too late to do anything significant about it. The more blatant it becomes the more frightened the average sleepwalking person becomes. The growing realization that something is terribly wrong in America will create an ugly inner cognitive dissonance that freezes most in a state of perpetual inaction, particularly in the face of a TV culture that constantly tells them everything is o-bee k-bee so any emotional discomfort you are feeling is solely your own abnormal issue.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:38 | 3520789 Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day's picture

You are dead on CD, anyone who reads enough of this want to go postal however freeze into a state of perpetual inaction.  Well stated

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:59 | 3520855 pods
pods's picture

Nah, liberty isn't dead, she is just sleeping in that chair in the corner.

Smell?  I don't smell anything now that I have these cigarettes in my nose.

Grab a brew, the yankees are on, and the blue angels are going to do a flyby!


Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:05 | 3520894 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture







Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:45 | 3521022 RaceToTheBottom
RaceToTheBottom's picture

I thought the Blue angels cancelled all air shows this year?  They did up here in Seattle

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:51 | 3520836 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

I had an interesting conversation tonight. I was at the local big box store checking out the ammo situation when an elderly woman approached me and said " pretty pathetic pickings isn't it?" To which I answered yeah. Then she proceeded to go on about how she thought the country was gearing up for civil war and she's never seen anything like what's going on in the country now. Then she proceeded to say that she never owned a gun in her life, but she wishes she had one now. Your comment is right in the money.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:59 | 3520861 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

The waitress at the diner (woman in her 60's) basically said the same thing to me and a friend last week. Absolutely floored me. She wished me and my friend the best and said "I've lived my life, you two have kids and I feel for you....". My buddy who kind of understands what I say but kind of does not want to threw in the towel. I could see him do it.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:09 | 3520905 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

It's everywhere Fonz. I can't believe some of the people who come out and say it, most of them are older. There are many times when I've heard them say '" I'm too old for this fight, you guys have to pick up the pieces. " ...or something along those lines.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:14 | 3520921 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

What I find most interesting is the happiness that some people display when the idea of a market crash or a bank run comes up and I hear "well what do I care I don't have anything anyway!".

They don't realize the good and bad aspects of what they just declared.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:43 | 3521029 Uber Vandal
Uber Vandal's picture

This thread is freaking me out a bit, because this is exactly the same types of conversations I have had too.....

Just how close to the edge are we, or are we already Wile E. Coyoted, and have not yet looked down?

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:03 | 3521107 espirit
espirit's picture

I think the trend is now... I'm too old to run, gonna stand and fight.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:44 | 3521031 prains
prains's picture

sat down for a dinner beside a 75 year old retiree and within five minutes of talking about the economy, he looks me straight in the eye and says "we're headed for a revolution aren't we?"

my reply; hell yeah

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 02:49 | 3521458 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

True that...

We are all Kermits now.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:51 | 3521055 Cobra
Cobra's picture

I have a question I have wanted to ask for a long time regarding this:
The population is far too many to back into a post collapse system. Stay with me... Even if SHTF (and it will) and the National Guard builds a wall around every project and caps it off with a dense, lethal gas... (Obviously fiction) - How the fuck are we going to live in a barter society when, within a matter of months, all of your local animals and resources will be completely farmed out!?? This has been on my mind awhile, and is one of the many reasons I joined this site after many months of merely reading & wondering. Anything helps... Please advise.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:10 | 3521134 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Assuming many things regarding a SHTF situation, always a dangerous proposition, it appears a large scale depopulation is inevitable. If you believe it is only a matter of when, not if, I would be relocating my butt out of the population centers if only to kick your personal can down the road. But I would also seriously reexamine every assumption you are making because those assumptions might be far more dangerous to you than any hungry hoard of desperate zombies.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:20 | 3521156 Cobra
Cobra's picture

Wide range speculation, I know... It's the speak of impending "doom" that has my tin hat glowing. Totally unsustainable. There's literally no exit.

Thank you for your insight, sir.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:27 | 3521176 Cobra
Cobra's picture

I guess my point is, the lack of resources available... In everyday life. Unsustainable.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:21 | 3520941 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



You know, there's plenty the generation before me SHOULD see as a negative change from what they knew, but, problem is they keep hating the things I do too. 

This is not progress or Forward Leaning motion.

To steal from Dennis Miller and his better, vanished time: they have that 'Good Fucking Luck Look' in their eyes lately, too absorbed to care about what we got, dismissive and loath to offer any useful guidance.




Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:13 | 3520914 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

We tend to believe that the asleep are totally asleep or deep in denial. This is rarely the case. What evolves is sort of a bargain with our inner demons. I won't ask too many questions of authority about what is obvious to anyone who looks and the authority demons will only torment me up to a point. This allows us to acknowledge to friends, family, even complete strangers what is going on while never actually stepping into harms way by challenging authority. Essentially we self censor and disarm. The best mind control is the type we embrace as our own. This is the key to a minority control of an overwhelming majority. Carrot and stick at its best.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:22 | 3520930 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture
  1. CD do you distinguish between someone who is asleep or just wants to go off the grid and does not even know why? Because I feel like that is more along the lines of what I see.
Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:48 | 3521039 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

There are 315 million different cognitive dissonances playing out here in the US of A. That said there are many commonalities and similarities simply because we have all been conditioned to believe that our choices are limited and mostly futile. This is not necessarily bad IF after concluding there is no hope some begin to look within, even if only to find some inner peace. Once the look within begins it becomes inevitable that we discover that all the answers we will ever need spring from within once we break our programming and start to ask ourselves better questions. Only then can the healing begin.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:21 | 3520939 pods
pods's picture

Absolutely CD, and you have taught me more about this than anyone <hat tip>.

I used to think I was being repressed by the man.  Which was sort of true.

I was, but it was the man in the mirror.

It took me a long time to realize that I was the one responsible.  

The why of it all was the thing that hurt the most.  When there is a big, amoebic entity that is causing our pain, we cannot do anything.

When we realize that they are only responsible for a fraction of the repression, and that we are really responsible for most of it, we are forced to either do something, or accept inaction.

Long road, and I don't see the end in sight yet, but every day I try to see how that man in the mirror is hindering me.


Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:36 | 3521005 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

You speak of the conditioning we all received beginning the moment we were born when are parents began to pass on to us their own slave mentality and hive mind. The baton was then picked up by the state/corporate controlled education system whose objective is to turn out worker bees for the hive rather than critical thinking sovereign beings. Then we are plunged into the world of debt fueled consumerism and taught never to look back to assess and analyze. Is it any wonder then that the few who begin to awake from the nightmare face the most difficult task of unlearning nearly everything they thought they knew while maintaining enough emotional and psychological stability to walk against the grain and begin to leave the hive mind. Progress is measured in years, decades even. Our best hope is to sow the seeds for the next generation to truly create a new way forward.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:49 | 3521043 prains
prains's picture

in a non-violent way of course

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:54 | 3521075 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

I am of two minds here. On the one hand the system is designed to corral any energy you and I might expend against it, especially violence, and leverage it back into our faces. It is strengthened by our direct and violent opposition. On the other hand I understand that to do nothing simply enables more of the same. That is my own cognitive dissonance and I do not have a solution to date. Time to ask better questions if I want better answers.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:56 | 3521248 prains
prains's picture

the conundrum (violence is percussive when contained and managed) i share but is answered for me anyway by the human conditon; when cornered fight to the death. As much as I personally would like to honestly see a non violent solution the pragmatist says that this will default to bloody confrontation. I believe a non-violent solution is in theory possible but we all know theory is shit compared to practice. Thuggery will always be the default solution percipitated I believe by the elite, FIRST, in order to control the message > " look there, terrorists, kill, kill them all, go forth plebes and protect yourself" yada yada. It's a rinse and repeat world, always will be. We are destined to follow the same default solution. Kill, erase, restart, build, kill, erase, restart.

The only solution I see,(I'm too old) is take the young, hide them, protect them, teach them. Find a corner, a very very small corner

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 07:50 | 3521649 new game
new game's picture

the better question would be:what level of violence is the opposition willing to use?

what level of violence are YOU willing to exhibit? no room for compomise...

I see it no other way.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:52 | 3521066 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

well said pods.

one must be cautious however not to fall into the black hole of guilt however, for that is another trap, yes?   maybe the next step is to ask the man in the mirror whether he (or she) is the authentic you or whether (s)he is the only the role that "you" have been cast to play in the Great Game as it unfolds in real time.   if not, then ask that man to ask yourself for forgiveness, for it is only with forgiveness can any of us escape this cycle and step outside of those thousand year layers of conditioning.   not a forgiveness that absolves us from guilt, but one that accepts & transcends it.

Max Igan discusses this in depth with much more eloquence than i ever could:

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:01 | 3521099 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Very nice. I find it at times very difficult to forgive myself because then I can no longer wear the invisible cloak of victimhood. Those who are forgiving of themselves are no longer hindered by themselves. This is where we learn to unlock our all powerful and all knowing sovereign being. That sovereign being is what frightens the controlling elite to their very core, for they know all is lost when he and she finally appears. Our last battle is within.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:15 | 3521142 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

i find it at all times very difficult :)  to recognize how one has been molded into playing the victim without wearing that victim cloak is quite the difficult feat, for the act of continually recognizing that one is being played (and by whom and how) is the dominant behavior of the victim mentality.    quite a subtle mindfuck to overcome there.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:34 | 3521195 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Thus the urgency of self forgiveness in order to exit the endlessly self perpetuating Catch 22 of that subtle mind fuck. I fully admit that it is easier said than done. The key is to fully and without reservation embrace the willingness to forgive and move forward. This trained worker bee finds more comfort in my own insanity than the release from my own pain, since all I have ever known is pain. I have so far failed to muster the courage to face my fear and embrace the final release from my own bindings. I fear true freedom as nearly all slaves do,

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:00 | 3521672 new game
new game's picture

in a general sense all this perpetual looping of irrational cog dis can be reduced by less (for more of the "right stuff") via minmalization of material pleasure. the real values come through and slowly replaces the programmed values.  once the brain gets reprogrammed to detect these irrational wants, you become free to progress much more rapidly to a true minmalist with self confidence to walk into the forest and survive with a small backpack...

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 05:12 | 3521538 Dollar Bill Hiccup
Dollar Bill Hiccup's picture

More prescribed psychotropics for little Johnny, Mommy, Daddy, hell even the dog.

That way, when little Johnny flips out and massacres poor innocents, Mommy and Daddy are so numb, they just change the channel.

Take away their guns, those things are dangerous.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 07:36 | 3521635 new game
new game's picture

with all due respect can i add:


powerfull statement as follows...   read this slowly and understand each sentence When it is too late to do anything significant about it? The more blatant it becomes the more frightened the average sleepwalking person becomes. The growing realization that something is terribly wrong in America will create an ugly inner cognitive dissonance that freezes most in a state of perpetual inaction, particularly in the face of a TV culture that constantly tells them everything is o-bee k-bee so any emotional discomfort you are feeling is solely your own abnormal issue. the feedback loop to action is effectively stiffeled by the fear to confront this emotional discomfort and be uncomfortable; ie doing the change! TO BE DIFFERENT than most people we MUST CONFRONT THIS FEAR and take action no mater WHAT the discomfort is.
Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:38 | 3521004 Mr. Saxby
Mr. Saxby's picture

When they finally decide to turn the lights out and the teevee quits working. The older sheeple want to believe the teevee, despite the cognitive dissonance that keeps getting louder. The younger ones, who are the products of extreme dumbing down, are entirely hopeless, due to their inability to think critically. It wasn't even a month ago when these fucking morons were cheering martial law in Boston. Seriously, when the time comes for them to shut ZH down, for supporting domestic terrorism or whatever bullshit they come up with, they will cheer that, too.


Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:19 | 3520717 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Just in case any of you didn't know who our owners are .... It should be pretty clear by now.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:00 | 3521095 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

wondering if it's even a matter of who at this point or even what, when, where or why, but simply how, so as to best avoid the landmines and the collateral damage that is caused as skillfully and mindfully as one can.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 08:51 | 3521803 new game
new game's picture

tip, if you are checking back; what state do you live in?

kudos to forgiving of oneself for past stupidity...

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 23:46 | 3525296 tip e. canoe
tip e. canoe's picture

new, if you're still checking back, the State of Perpetual Uncertainty, one of the original colonies ;~) 

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:18 | 3520722 Bunga Bunga
Bunga Bunga's picture

OT: MtGox raided by Japanese police, exchange may be shut down on Friday

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:30 | 3520761 moonstears
moonstears's picture

Where the bits at? Sheeeeeot!

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:07 | 3521121 RebelDevil
RebelDevil's picture

Hat tip to you sir! I just withdrew my balance at the exchange before it was too late.
Bitcoiners need to VERY aware and careful these days.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:37 | 3521209 bluskyes
bluskyes's picture

All of your bitcoin, and cash are belong to Japan

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:19 | 3520728 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

What's that muppet doing?

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:20 | 3520734 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Great question and the right place to ask.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:24 | 3520738 HulkHogan
HulkHogan's picture

...he's just airing it out, that's all.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:29 | 3520754 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

You are still wearing that belt Hulk you goldbug you....

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:27 | 3520749 teolawki
teolawki's picture

Trying to find Jamie.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:28 | 3520752 e_goldstein
e_goldstein's picture

Waiting for Jamie.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:49 | 3520817 1C3-N1N3
1C3-N1N3's picture

"My body is ready." -- Muppets

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:10 | 3520909 pods
pods's picture

"You're gonna feel a little pressure."


Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:51 | 3521052 prains
prains's picture

take a deep breath......and hold

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:10 | 3521135 Rusty Diggins
Rusty Diggins's picture

"hold on, you'll just feel a little prick"


honestly i wish more of the crew were like you guys.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 00:07 | 3521273 prains
prains's picture

"why are both your hands on my shoulders"

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 00:33 | 3521318 Jam Akin
Jam Akin's picture

Welcome to Athens Mr. The Frog.  You'll find that getting in touch with the local culture is most fulfilling.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 02:53 | 3521459 Rogue Trooper
Rogue Trooper's picture

"Citizen, this is not going to hurt me more than you"

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:22 | 3520729 Wakanda
Wakanda's picture

Presidential cufflinks FiSHeS.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:22 | 3520733 teolawki
teolawki's picture

Quite an accomplishment for White as spout that obvious line of bullshit and keep a straight face doing it.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:20 | 3520736 Peter Pan
Peter Pan's picture

OK, who is the sick bastard who did this to Kermit? Then again, isn't that what they do to the public again and again?

Me thinks that Kermit will be in this position for a long long time. LOL.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:29 | 3520758 The Second Rule
The Second Rule's picture

Here's a less than shining moment from SEC history. You guys remember this?

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:21 | 3520946 Mr. Saxby
Mr. Saxby's picture

That was actually a sham to portray the SEC as incompetent instead of entirely corrupt. See, Harry "the Hero" Markopolos, options expert extraordinaire, fucked up in the first 60 seconds of his testimony and said something that indicated he really didn't grasp the old "split-strike conversion" aka collar. Adding insult to injury, it was included in his written testimony, which was published in the Washington Post and on the House Finance Committee's webpage. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who caught it, because within 2 days, they'd "fixed" the written testimony and edited the C-Span tape to remove the comment.

Also, the original pdf had Harry's unredacted e-mail address. A little googling found that he was posting his home phone while trolling internet boards as a "whistleblowing consultant." Yeah, I know, WTF is that? My point is that when your worried about getting greased by the "Russian Mob," you don't post your home phone. Since then, we've so much shady shit that Markopolos was just a prank, but that's when I realized just how fucked the American people really are.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:31 | 3520767 Catullus
Catullus's picture

Holy shit that's funny.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:39 | 3520792 Cabreado
Cabreado's picture

Unless you want upheaval (and I suggest you really don't, unless you have skin in the upheaval game),

the Attention must be on Congress.

If you think that sounds rather unsophisticated, silly, or pointless,

you will rue the day when you thought so.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:49 | 3520832 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

The political coup that 9/11 delivered has rendered Congress moot except for keeping the population polarized and divided. Why actually tell anyone the constitution has been suspended if you don't have to. No sense worrying your silly little head off other than about trivial small stuff made out by the MSM press to be much more important that it really is. Mission Accomplished.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:04 | 3520880 pods
pods's picture

It's all good CD, he pinky swore that he woudn't be droning our asses here.

Just don't lay on that beach in the bahamas for too long.


Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:32 | 3520994 Cabreado
Cabreado's picture


Apparently I have threatened you in some way...

or are you just an idiot having a bad day?

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:31 | 3521188 pods
pods's picture

Not speaking of you, CD brought up our government; my reply was a play on that.

He (Obama) would not drone us here in the US.  

But yes, in fact I do resemble your last remark, and no, I am not threatened.


Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:53 | 3521244 Cabreado
Cabreado's picture

Good to know, and I thank you (sincerely) for the clarification.

The lies are foaming at the mouth, and there are intrusions everywhere, and there must be a trustworthy place or we will all go mad.
(Assuming we haven't already)

I reiterate my original point -- there are places of Control, and though they are corrupt, they retain Control, and that is the natural place to start.



Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:13 | 3520912 Cabreado
Cabreado's picture

"Mission Accomplished"

Very true, when a critical mass forgets, chooses to forget, or never cared in the first place how our government was designed to work.

Go figure... even here, the appropriate and well-defined target of our attention is not just overlooked, but forgotten altogether.


Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:02 | 3520970 Cabreado
Cabreado's picture

CD, just want to be clear...

is it my "silly little head" that you're referring to?

If so,

be it known that things are getting very strange Here.  Too.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:30 | 3520971 prains
prains's picture

the red pill isn't strong enough, anymore, not enough action or reaction. the constant dial tone of inertia is getting weighty with age.

what are the younguns doing?? only need a few to move the dial......not buying they're all tucked up in fartbook smelling their own, there's some smart young fuckers out there waitin, know it.



Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:44 | 3520811 Yes_Questions
Yes_Questions's picture



Ahh the revolving doors through which sucklings of the owners' pass.

So are the diminishing days of our lives.


Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:46 | 3520816 nathan1234
nathan1234's picture

Jaimie and his band own Obomber and the admin.

So this is news !

Either Americans are brain dead or sleeping the sleep of the already dead.


Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:49 | 3520818 yabyum
yabyum's picture

That is the most rude shot I have ever seen on the Hedge! I approve 300+%

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:09 | 3520903 CURWAR2012
CURWAR2012's picture

it needed a little red dye in the picture to make it better

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:49 | 3520819 alien-IQ
alien-IQ's picture

Why haven't people come together and set fire to every bank in American and publicly lynched all the heads of the TBTF criminal empire?

We're so fucked....

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:59 | 3520854 Major Major Major
Major Major Major's picture

Take a look at Kermit again.  That muppet is still smiling... like all the other muppets are.  Figure out how to wipe that shit eating grin off Kermits face and you might find a way to get the people to take the trash out.



Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:50 | 3520833 rustymason
rustymason's picture

What's next? Brawndo buying the FDA?

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:56 | 3520853 Kina
Kina's picture

Don't you just wish we could have a time machine and go back to find dear old JP Morgan and rip the cnuts face open, we could drop into to fix Adolf on the way back.


John Pierpont "J. P." Morgan (April 17, 1837 – March 31, 1913)

EDIT: JP Morgan  :  April 17, 1837 – April 18 1837

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:29 | 3520969 Bay of Pigs
Bay of Pigs's picture

Damn, JP Morgan of all people? I was born on that day too, April 17th 1961, Bay of Pigs day.

Thats fucking spooky... 

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 21:59 | 3520867 LeisureSmith
LeisureSmith's picture

Rizzo the Rat has been blackmailing Kermit for years with that picture. 

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:02 | 3520869 Dineroguru
Dineroguru's picture

Let the world vote with its feet.  The only hope is that the sheeple wake the fuck up.  FUCK, CROOKED BASTARD, SNAKE JAMIE and the rest of the  CABAL!  If the serfs are too stupid while fuck them too!

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:07 | 3520892 Kina
Kina's picture

If America were a Dog, you'd have put the fucker down by now.


Amerika is a dog with distemper, rabies and the mange all at once.....with all the poisonous ticks hanging out in the tail.


But before things can be fixed they have to totally break give it another generation before the whole show and the masters are broken be 'fixed' to the benefit of Americans. I suspect that will mean American getting its arsed kicked in a war, even though they might be the 'victors'. But you would hardly call a few totally destroyed US cities a victory. Ironically it will be a strong China that saves Americans from the corrupt bankster overlords, as a side effect of war.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:08 | 3520897 Al Huxley
Al Huxley's picture

The Enforcement Division is the agency's largest unit, with more than 1,200 investigators, accountants, trial attorneys and other professionals. In recent years the division has achieved remarkable success prosecuting financial crisis cases, insider trading and other violations, while returning billions to harmed investors.


You know, I try to keep up on this stuff, but I must have missed the reporting on what are apparently the many, many instances where the SEC has 'achieved remarkable success prosecuting financial crisis cases' and 'returning billions to harmed investors'.  Can somebody help me out - anybody know of even 1 case where harmed investors had some of their stolen billions returned? 


Talk about fucking Orwellian 'department of history'.  I can't wait for the headline tomorrow that explains how 'gold fell again, as the ongoing bear market that's seen it drop in value every year since 2000 continues'.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:11 | 3520913 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Tyler that muppet picture has to be one of the top ten all time best pics.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:34 | 3520990 prains
prains's picture

LOL  +^

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:15 | 3520928 Kina
Kina's picture

SEC CFTC are the banksters holiday camps. They have no function except R&R for favoured banksters and their friends.


The most outrageous and blatant corruption occurring in all markets, not least silver and gold over a long period of time and these Bankster R&R bodies...well doing their paid for job.....helping the corruption attain new heights.


One wild card for the banksters that will in the end riping their arses open....they cant control Russia or China who between them in the end will own Asia and Africa and half South America.

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:17 | 3520933 Theos
Theos's picture

Just join the club. Why not?

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:56 | 3521072 WillyGroper
WillyGroper's picture

Golf clap?

If I had my druthers JD would get a monumental dose of the rotchurcrotchov persuasion. And none too soon!

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 22:59 | 3521094 JR
JR's picture

It ain’t Jamie Dimon’s bank; it’s David Rockefeller’s bank. And don’t you forget it! Because he and his Rothschild partners are taking every bloomin’ thing that you have.

What’s more, the once-whispered accusations of a shadow government are now public financial news as the cartel makes its incestuous, in-your-face appointments with no shame and no cover.

It is the Rockefellers and the Rothschilds (CHASE) along with Goldman et al. who have been the largest beneficiaries of the privately owned Federal Reserve Bank.

It’s David et al. who are using economic interdependence as the major method to bring in a one-world socialist government.  And it’s David’s bank along with Citibank that control the New York Federal Reserve bank (52.86% at last report in 1997). And everyone knows that if you control the NY Fed, you control the Fed and you control the SEC.

Counterpunch had the statistics: “According to researcher Eric Samuelson as of November 1997, the NY Fed has 19,752,655 shares outstanding and was majority-owned by two banks: Chase Manhattan bank (Rockefeller’s bank), with 32.35 percent; and Citibank with 20.51 percent. Together those two banks own 10,441,295 shares or 52.86 percent – which is majority control.”

As David Rockefeller reportedly said in 1973 regarding his plans for America when he and others formed the Trilateral Commission, "We will have this a Socialist Nation by the end of the year 2000." 

And who can doubt the role Obama is playing in Rockefeller’s infatuation with totalitarianism and socialism.’

And just exactly where does this totalitarianism lead? David, whose Chase Manhattan was the first American bank to open a branch in communist Moscow and Peking, was quoted in the NY Times of 8/10/73 as saying:

“Whatever the price of the Chinese Revolution [65 million dead], it has obviously succeeded not only in producing a more efficient and dedicated administration, but also in fostering high morale and community of purpose. The social experiment in China under Chairman Mao’s leadership is one of the most important and successful in human history.”

Wed, 05/01/2013 - 23:35 | 3521203 RebelDevil
RebelDevil's picture

I always wondered what the Rockefeller connection was to today's banking system. We've barely heard much from them in 20 years. Now I know.
My guess: Goldman Sachs is the zionist Rothschild half of the control, JPM-Chase is the free-mason Rockefeller half of the control.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 00:46 | 3521340 JR
JR's picture

An interesting idea. While so much is below the surface, it’s difficult to determine. Yet the lines do criss cross and interconnect, worldwide. But while these thieves might get along with each other, the transfer of any ownership is unheard of.

However, by the looks of David, his dealing and wheeling days are dwindling down to a numbered few, and then only from a wheelchair. Too bad for him that he soon will no longer be around to stay in the 100 plus homes the Rockefellers are said to own, staffed with some 2,500 house servants worldwide.

One thing you can say for certain about the Rockefellers is that they have manipulated to control everything that they could find to control, including education from kindergarten through university, to religion and seminaries and anti-religious groups, from cultural to domestic and foreign policy, to the CIA, to population control and the Kinsey reports, from U.S. Senators to presidential elections, to foundations and trusts, to various magazines and news sources, to whatever.  And David, of course, has long worked with the Rothschilds in shaping global events. It’s of significance, IMO, that David has a degree from the Jewish Theological Seminary, as well as its World Brotherhood award, for his ambitions no doubt in turning America into another Soviet Union.

Barry Goldwater fairly well and long ago encapsulated the Rockefeller agenda: “David Rockefeller’s newest international cabal (Trilateral Commission) is intended to be the vehicle for multinational consolidation of the commercial and banking interests, by seizing control of the political government of the United States.”

No doubt David now can die happy and rest in peace. Unless he's heard the news,of course, that an American is buying a gun every 1.5 seconds and that

"A new survey of voters by Fairleigh Dickinson University’s PublicMind finds that 29 percent agree with the statement, “In the next few years, an armed revolution might be necessary in order to protect our liberties” – including 18 percent of Democrats, 27 percent of Independents and 44 percent of Republicans."

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 00:07 | 3521275 Caveman93
Caveman93's picture

We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete. When I left you, I was but the learner; now *I* am the master.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 00:18 | 3521304 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

I am still very very confident that the SEC will pursue any wrongdoings at JPM&Co with the conviction that our tax dollars will allow.

On another note how many targeted killings does one feel would have to be inflicted on the elite to secure a seat at the table? Just curious!

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 02:24 | 3521441 WTFUD
WTFUD's picture

With the world at my feet after a first class honours degree i had the pick of several top notch wall street firm offers. Sadly the hapless victim of a drive by shooting one bullet lodged in my spine and one in my head. After 2 months in a coma followed by a month of physical rehabilitation and a throng of apptitude tests i was wheeled into the phsycologists office! The bad news is that the left side of your body is completely paralysed, and you'll be confined to the wheelchair for the rest of your life. We cut two thirds of your brain away and you'll have good days and bad days, for example, some days you will even forget how to tie your shoe laces. You partial blindness will deteriorate further and it is likely you'll require a cane and guide dog! The wall street firms have withdrawn their offers. And the good news is you still meet all the requirements and can start monday in a desk job with the SEC.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 03:21 | 3521473 vulcanraven
vulcanraven's picture

To me, the US government has just become one gigantic troll.


How do you kill a troll? Starve the beast and ignore their existence. Apart from getting my paycheck raped every week, I will just deny this government even exists. No more voting, no more credit cards, no more mainstream media or cable TV, no more stock market, been ditching my FRN's for the past 2 years as fast as humanly possible into food, ammo and junk silver, etc. And when Obamacare goes into effect, I aint fuckin paying the fine. Hopefully by that point, this joke of an administration will have its ass stuffed full of small business failures and other instances of economic decay that it will be too busy to go after all the little people who can't afford their fucking Nazi healthcare tribute.


C'est la vie.


Thu, 05/02/2013 - 04:35 | 3521525 dunce
dunce's picture

Was Martha Stewart the last time the SEC took action?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 05:31 | 3521543 dognamedabu
dognamedabu's picture

That pic you got looks like gomer raping a girl. I tried.. But nope.  The whole action look impossible.. Some green guy all over her.. Brrr. Clean it up Zerohedge

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 05:35 | 3521548 dognamedabu
dognamedabu's picture

Ohhh he is widening his butt hole.. Ok.. I never did see a frog do that.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 07:28 | 3521627 therover
therover's picture

"Good heavens, a Yale man" - Thurston Howell the 3rd. 

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:12 | 3521867 Downtoolong
Downtoolong's picture

His first priority will be to create a new branch of the SEC Enforcement Division to track down, interrogate, and punish anyone who challenges or says anything bad about JPM. Here comes a subpoena for all registered users of ZH.  

Sun, 05/05/2013 - 03:33 | 3531523 KashNCarry
KashNCarry's picture

Do ya think?

'Dangerous Liaisons: Revolving Door at SEC Creates Risk of Regulatory Capture'

Do NOT follow this link or you will be banned from the site!