And For Its Next Trick, JPMorgan Takes Over The SEC

Tyler Durden's picture

JPM wasn't satisfied with demonstrating its implicit control over the US bond issuing authority by promoting Matt Zames to the post of COO, the same Matt Zames who courtesy of his Chairmanship of the TBAC, also effectively runs the US Treasury where he "advises" the brand new Treasury Secretary who has no idea what he is doing. Oh no. Just to cover all its bases, Jamie Dimon's firm decided to also take over the SEC as well.

From a Notice of Withdrawal of appearance of one Andrew J. Ceresney filed in the case of the People of New York versus JPMorgan, in which find that Mr. Ceresney, formerly partner at Debevoise, the same firm that current SEC chief Mary Jo White came from, is no longer with the firm.

So, where is he then?

Cerseney... Cerseney... where have we seen that name.... Oh yes.

From press release 2013-67 by the SEC

George Canellos and Andrew Ceresney Named Co-Directors of Enforcement




Washington, D.C., April 22, 2013 — The Securities and Exchange Commission today announced that Acting Director George Canellos and former federal prosecutor Andrew Ceresney have been named Co-Directors of the Division of Enforcement.


Previously, Mr. Ceresney, 41, served as a Deputy Chief Appellate Attorney in the United States Attorney's Office for the Southern District of New York, where he was a member of the Securities and Commodities Fraud Task Force and the Major Crimes Unit. As a prosecutor, Mr. Ceresney handled numerous white collar criminal investigations, trials and appeals, including matters relating to securities fraud, mail and wire fraud, and money laundering.


Most recently, Mr. Ceresney served as a partner in the law firm of Debevoise & Plimpton LLP, where he focused on representing entities and individuals in white collar criminal and SEC investigations, complex civil litigation and internal corporate investigations.

George and Andrew are two of the best lawyers and finest people I know. They are a perfect combination to lead the talented Enforcement Division professionals who protect investors and keep our markets safe and vibrant,” said Mary Jo White, SEC Chair.


Mr. Ceresney said, “I am truly humbled to be joining the SEC’s Enforcement Division with its rich history and deeply committed and talented people. I am excited to be charged with implementing Chairman White’s mandate of bold and unrelenting enforcement and thrilled to be teaming again with George, an immensely talented lawyer and close friend.”


The Enforcement Division is the agency's largest unit, with more than 1,200 investigators, accountants, trial attorneys and other professionals. In recent years the division has achieved remarkable success prosecuting financial crisis cases, insider trading and other violations, while returning billions to harmed investors.


Mr. Ceresney served as a law clerk to the Honorable Dennis Jacobs, Chief Judge of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit from 1997 to 1998. He served as law clerk to the Honorable Michael Mukasey, formerly Chief Judge of the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York, from 1996 to 1997. Mr. Ceresney is a graduate of Columbia College and Yale Law School.

Golf clap, Jamie old boy. Golf clap.

And always remember: it is "chronic underfunding" that is preventing the SEC from performing its duties.

h/t Manal

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ihedgemyhedges's picture

Ok I'm confused.  Does this mean there will be more porn or less porn???????

Major Major Major's picture

Always MOAR!


The question is, do they pay to get him his own username / password or let him use Mary's?

prains's picture



I am Kermit and I support this comment



TwoShortPlanks's picture

Remember the days when you would watch a TV Doco on some country going through a Coup.....WELL!!!!

Looks like a Duck, Quacks like a.....

strannick's picture

It is chronic porn addiction and regulatory capture that is keeping the SEC from performing its duty (aka its the ''booty'' and the ''looty'' getting in the way of the duty).

TwoShortPlanks's picture

If America were a Dog, you'd have put the fucker down by now.

prains's picture

both pupils are clouding over, son it's time

TwoShortPlanks's picture

JP Morgue Theme Song:

"So long and thanks for all the wealth"

imaginalis's picture

"who protect investors and keep our markets safe and vibrant,” said Mary Jo White, SEC Chair."



wee-weed up's picture

Long Vaseline Petroleum Jelly!

zorba THE GREEK's picture

Would you like to bet that the Dow and S&P will be up tomorrow.

Who wants to play in this rigged market except those who bet with the house.

Yes_Questions's picture



Dammit Boris! I drink much less lately due to price of compulsions, and that was expensive keyboard disinfecting just now.


Rogue Trooper's picture

Useful link...

However, in Boris's defence it was Kermit's pic that destroyed mine on this occassion. Thankfully the mouse is still usable.

Tylers... have you got indemnity insurance for the 'pending' damaged Keyboard class action?

zhandax's picture

Tylers....avoid the attorney's fees.  Charge $20 to register and send out a spill-spurt-splash-proof keyboard.

zorba THE GREEK's picture

Maybe we are going to have to do this the hard way.

Everyman's picture

Yes we will have to do this the "hard way".

Revolution and punishment of the transgressors needs to be swift and terrible.  These people are walking dead now.

Flagit's picture

Tyler, you thieving muppet-mother-fucker!

i posted that pic!


you're welcome :)

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Open wide and say "Controlled opposition."

Boris Alatovkrap's picture

Who is appoint SEC and Treasury in Amerika? Is not Obama, anti-capitalist? Maybe Obama is not so anti-capitalist as corrupt organ appoint friend and donor. Hahahaha, Amerikans is fooled and is now reap foul stench of east wind!

TheFourthStooge-ing's picture

Goatse Kermit cannot be unseen.

zorba THE GREEK's picture

The corruption has become so blatant now, when will people wake up and demand justice?

Peter Pan's picture

If you dare to make any demands, you will have your food stamps stopped. This will be just the beginning. If you persist more will follow. Justice has a price tag these days and if you cannot afford it, you can't expect it.



RebelDevil's picture

It's simpler than that. Basic Physcology of the Sheeple - The Milgram Experiment.

Many may become aware, but most will do nothing but obey. It is the nature of the submissive sheeple that we call humanity. Only dominants who can conjure the will of the people can do anything about tyranny.
In all reality, nothing has really changed over the last 5,000 years except science, technology, engineering, and most notably, the methods that tyrannts use.
First it was Military, then "God", then Feudalism, then Crony Capitalism.

Let the Robespierres rise! The time has come!

illyia's picture



The word you've entered isn't in the dictionary. Click on a spelling suggestion below or try again using the search bar above.

  1. physiology
  2. physicality
  3. physiological
  4. physiognomy

Good post though...

RebelDevil's picture

lol i know my spelling is a little off if I don't inspect it. XD

Cobra's picture

Food stamps... I think you mean blank checks, sir! You can literally take money out of an ATM via your "food card" and buy smokes and booze, lobsters, and Western Union 700 Pesos to Mechico at the grocery store. As a skilled tradesman, servicing faulty appliances in a retail environment, I have seen some shit...

SilverRhino's picture

The worst part of food stamps?? The federal government has an insidious weapon against a potentially victorious revolt. Citizens rise up in a city or a state? Poof, no more EBT and you have an instant revoltby the poor against everyone in the area.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

When it is too late to do anything significant about it. The more blatant it becomes the more frightened the average sleepwalking person becomes. The growing realization that something is terribly wrong in America will create an ugly inner cognitive dissonance that freezes most in a state of perpetual inaction, particularly in the face of a TV culture that constantly tells them everything is o-bee k-bee so any emotional discomfort you are feeling is solely your own abnormal issue.

Groundhog Day's picture

You are dead on CD, anyone who reads enough of this want to go postal however freeze into a state of perpetual inaction.  Well stated

pods's picture

Nah, liberty isn't dead, she is just sleeping in that chair in the corner.

Smell?  I don't smell anything now that I have these cigarettes in my nose.

Grab a brew, the yankees are on, and the blue angels are going to do a flyby!


Yes_Questions's picture







RaceToTheBottom's picture

I thought the Blue angels cancelled all air shows this year?  They did up here in Seattle

Dr. Engali's picture

I had an interesting conversation tonight. I was at the local big box store checking out the ammo situation when an elderly woman approached me and said " pretty pathetic pickings isn't it?" To which I answered yeah. Then she proceeded to go on about how she thought the country was gearing up for civil war and she's never seen anything like what's going on in the country now. Then she proceeded to say that she never owned a gun in her life, but she wishes she had one now. Your comment is right in the money.

fonzannoon's picture

The waitress at the diner (woman in her 60's) basically said the same thing to me and a friend last week. Absolutely floored me. She wished me and my friend the best and said "I've lived my life, you two have kids and I feel for you....". My buddy who kind of understands what I say but kind of does not want to threw in the towel. I could see him do it.

Dr. Engali's picture

It's everywhere Fonz. I can't believe some of the people who come out and say it, most of them are older. There are many times when I've heard them say '" I'm too old for this fight, you guys have to pick up the pieces. " ...or something along those lines.

fonzannoon's picture

What I find most interesting is the happiness that some people display when the idea of a market crash or a bank run comes up and I hear "well what do I care I don't have anything anyway!".

They don't realize the good and bad aspects of what they just declared.

Uber Vandal's picture

This thread is freaking me out a bit, because this is exactly the same types of conversations I have had too.....

Just how close to the edge are we, or are we already Wile E. Coyoted, and have not yet looked down?

espirit's picture

I think the trend is now... I'm too old to run, gonna stand and fight.

prains's picture

sat down for a dinner beside a 75 year old retiree and within five minutes of talking about the economy, he looks me straight in the eye and says "we're headed for a revolution aren't we?"

my reply; hell yeah

Rogue Trooper's picture

True that...

We are all Kermits now.

Cobra's picture

I have a question I have wanted to ask for a long time regarding this:
The population is far too many to back into a post collapse system. Stay with me... Even if SHTF (and it will) and the National Guard builds a wall around every project and caps it off with a dense, lethal gas... (Obviously fiction) - How the fuck are we going to live in a barter society when, within a matter of months, all of your local animals and resources will be completely farmed out!?? This has been on my mind awhile, and is one of the many reasons I joined this site after many months of merely reading & wondering. Anything helps... Please advise.

Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Assuming many things regarding a SHTF situation, always a dangerous proposition, it appears a large scale depopulation is inevitable. If you believe it is only a matter of when, not if, I would be relocating my butt out of the population centers if only to kick your personal can down the road. But I would also seriously reexamine every assumption you are making because those assumptions might be far more dangerous to you than any hungry hoard of desperate zombies.

Cobra's picture

Wide range speculation, I know... It's the speak of impending "doom" that has my tin hat glowing. Totally unsustainable. There's literally no exit.

Thank you for your insight, sir.

Cobra's picture

I guess my point is, the lack of resources available... In everyday life. Unsustainable.

Yes_Questions's picture



You know, there's plenty the generation before me SHOULD see as a negative change from what they knew, but, problem is they keep hating the things I do too. 

This is not progress or Forward Leaning motion.

To steal from Dennis Miller and his better, vanished time: they have that 'Good Fucking Luck Look' in their eyes lately, too absorbed to care about what we got, dismissive and loath to offer any useful guidance.




Cognitive Dissonance's picture

We tend to believe that the asleep are totally asleep or deep in denial. This is rarely the case. What evolves is sort of a bargain with our inner demons. I won't ask too many questions of authority about what is obvious to anyone who looks and the authority demons will only torment me up to a point. This allows us to acknowledge to friends, family, even complete strangers what is going on while never actually stepping into harms way by challenging authority. Essentially we self censor and disarm. The best mind control is the type we embrace as our own. This is the key to a minority control of an overwhelming majority. Carrot and stick at its best.