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JCPenneystock: We Are Very, Very Sorry So Please Come Back And, Like, Buy Our Stuff
After watching the following sad, humiliating, grovelling "ad" by JCP whose sole premise is to apologize (for what: being the vehicle though which Bill Ackman got to channel his "I know all about retail" hubris and arrogance and in the process destroying the company? for Corzining half of your investment in the company stock? for getting more infomercial time on CNBC than even the Federal Reserve?) to that handful of people who even care to watch it...
... our only question is how long before JCP has to come out with a sequel, apologizing to all those muppets who bought into the Goldman syndicated $1.75 billion term loan that is about to get Movie-Galleried?
In tangential news, this is what happens when one doesn't have Spiderman towels in stock.
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Just Can't Perform
Circle Jerk Advertising which targets Heart Strings....hate the vomit!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDW_Hj2K0wo
Hey, here's an idea, what about some honesty for something different.
JC Penney....FAIL!
How To Get Your Ex Back (8 Step Formula)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fv-20_8uFVc
10 Alpha Male Traits (Dating Advice for Men and JCPenney)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJyct8pb2d4
and I thought they were apologizing for JOEFRESH and the 400 dead in Bangladesh where they make the lovely items for a few cents so that Bill can sell them for a few thousand times as much
http://blogs.wsj.com/canadarealtime/2013/04/29/joe-fresh-peers-to-discus...
you smarmy prick Ackman
http://www.jcpenney.com/dotcom/women/shop-brands/joe-fresh/cat.jump?id=c...
BTW, it worked for AAPL under Steve Jobs (he was a true alpha male and Apple fan boys and girls were hypnotically attracted to anything Apple)
What is "JC Penny"?
I just wasted my time by reading this article by I wont waste my time watching some stupid JCP video. I rather waste more time writing this non-sense :)
what likely isnt a waste of time was the deal for the real estate they had to put up to secure this loan. i would like to know what pieces they had to put up. if this follows the playbook goldman should sell the hello out of jc penny stock and then turn around and short it. this horse wandered in thirsty and now they will beat it to death and beyond. but before the carcass goes cold they will burn it out, midnight-mafia style, for the insurance money. mark this the year the penny lost copper and the JC.
The video will make you laugh. +1 to the Tylers for continued entertainment.
Ackman is a bit faggy, no alpha male shit at jcp
Fags are the root of their problems. Christian groups started boycotting nearly 2 years ago. Then, add in a fool who took away the perpetual sales.
If you were trying to collapse a company, this is the plan. Alienate your best customers, then hike prices. I'm guessing they just want to indenture it forever, like Sears.
Maybe JC needs viagra
When you destroy the morale of your employees it is all over for the company
Congress needs to pass a law that allows stock holders to sue personally as holes like these types
Fuck JCP.....AND YOU BEN
they lost me at- "we listen on facebook"
No one seems to be making the connection with JC Penney and having Ellen Degeneres as a spokesperson and placing gay couples in advertisements. What's the guess that the Mommies have all stopped shopping at the store?
and fashion-conscious gays would never be caught dead in JCP
OT:
Interesting Sandy Hook vid, if you haven't seen it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=n-RG4ubKAPU
That was the dumbest shit I've ever seen, but funny in a sad way. Some poor, sad fool clinging to the most retarded of conspiracies. Actually, just mostly sad.
http://bestbitcoinsites.wordpress.com
A school shooting where dozens of kids got killed.... but no blood, and no "survivors" were filmed being rescued (just a couple of photos of one or two kids).
Sandy Hook was not what we were told it was.
Oh come on. It's perfectly normal for everyone to get a colored name badge during a crisis situation. I know the last time my wife got in a car accident the first thing the cops did was to give her a green victim badge, and the guy that hit her a red asshole driver badge. Witnesses were given a white badge. You got to color code everything for a jury today.
In fact during a shooting they should give out targets for the victims to put on their chest, just so the shooter knows who to kill. If not some innocent bystander might take a "bullet" and forget to lie down dead and set off his blood pack.
I'm sure its perfectly normal for port-a-jons to show up a few blocks away from a school roped off with police tape before the shooting happens. It's called being prepeared for anything. The police are a lot smarter than people give them credit for. They can even shoot a boat 250+ times without killing the guy hiding inside.
damn.
harsh.
So I guess the free market still works in places eh?
pods
Goin' down, I suppose. J6P to JCP..."Well, I gotta make rent and Ramen noodles, no time for chinese Levis, so sorry." 1% no shopee at JCP??
The future ain't that bright when your business model depends on the middle class.
pods
There's a fork around here somewhere. If I could find it, this is the pig I'd stick it in. It's done.
Forget the public. I'd make a commercial aimed at the Fed:
Dear Ben. We're very sorry we are not too big to fail - we hear you. Now we want to see your fiat.
Get 10% off all towels and sheets with your first bailout.
Spidey towels? Those are golden...
My commercial to the Fed would be much shorter.
It would be:
F*ck You Bernake!
Then fade out to a photoshopped picture of him hanging from a lamp post.
Central bankers are like Lay's Potato Chips - you can't hang just one.
LOL HD
your "fucked by hollywood" displacement is showing thru again freddy .....
So wait, did they already throw away the JCP Square logo that was a high school design contest submission?
Remember the company was rebranded JCP because JC Penney sounded old and uncool.
I'm waiting for the $80 retail shirts produced for $10 that sold for $15 on sale to come back. The new $20 retail shirts produced for $1 that sell for $17 on every third Thursday don't cut it.
I'd never have thought a company could produce worse apparel than Steve and Barry's. JCP set the new standard for cardboard pants stitched with what feels like staples.
But what esle do you expect from the minds that brought you the $700 phone that can't survive a 1" drop.
So I guess hiring a mannish looking lesbian advocate didn't work well for their customer base?
did you mean ellen or nick wooster?
Wooster has hit the road
If this pathetic ad had, instead, said 'We heard you, and Ellen's going back into the closet', they'd be doing something. That won't happen as long as the board is full of sh!theads.
"We'll scan all your new purchases with our IPADS"
Hey, JCPenney, are you listening? Hear this: FU! Our entire extended family (50+) is still boycotting you and we will until you publicly kick Ellen Degenerate in the nuts on every channel on TV and radio. Can you hear me now, you greedy rimmers?
Rusty
Hahahahaaaas Thats the funniest comment I've ever read on ZH.
And how hard a call was it? What, nobudy saw it comin?
Fuckin disaster, yet JCP will be but a forgotten asterick to whats yet to unfold.
LOL! Good luck to JCP. You have lesbian spokesperson and some greedy bagel boy hedgie large shareholder. Makes me want to stop by. I would not stop by JCP even if JCP spokes-lesbian Ellen let me sleep with her wife Portia de Rossi who looks like hell now.
I recall getting telemarketed to take an Am Ex card (Ellen also pimps their shit). I was polite and said no way but wanted to tell them to take that gold card and stick it up Ellen's vag. I don't care about a person's sexuality. It is non of my business and don't tell me because I don't ****ing care. You are not special or unique because you are gay. You are as boring as anyone else - so F off.
I don't watch TV or Hollywood's shit but on the net news sites you see some basketball player or some other idiot comes out of the closet. Who cares. Go away attention whore!
you may have unplugged.....but you're in serious withdrawl/jonsin' baby ....
The basketball players team mates care they shower together.
when gays fuck each other, instead of members of the opposite sex, they do not reproduce. its a great solution for a world thats facing overpopulation. check out this clip from the movie Run, Ronnie, Run.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r38x6mHfnwU
its like when they realized that soo many of them were dieing from aids, it seemed a great way to thin the herd. there were just a few gay characters in tv and movies in the 90's. now they are spokespersons for major companies, sports stars, and politicians. all walks of life now have a queer to look up to. just got the letter the other day that insurance companies now are required to offer benefits to those engaging in an alternative partnership.
i could have solved this whole mess, without getting shut down at the bar by some man-hating-machine, or getting shit on my dick.
save the earth, suck a cock.
Odds are a few members of your extended family are gay. Kick em in the nuts!
Practically everyone who’s worked in, shopped or even seen a JCP is gay!
Yea, here's the argument the Jewish manipulators could never use when they were pushing blacks 40 years ago. Back when blacks were becoming Jewish, not Mooslim. "Odds are a few members of your family are black". Even now, they can only say 'Odds are a few members of your family are half-black'. Not counting in-laws, of course.
Mental illness is less an argument, than their last devisive scam.
Penney's is still in business? I thought it died after polyester went out of fashion in the 1980s.
When will these fuckin stupid retailers realize that the banking system is not only destroying the middle class it is detroying them as well. If the middle and upper middle make no money they make no money. It's that simple. Keep letting JPM and the fed dilute the currency into nothing and see how long you can keep those big box retail stores open. The fed is squeezing your margins, higher energy costs, higher healthcare costs and pooer customers. Do something you morons before it's too late for you as well. Idiots
Good point but they don't need to relaize it. All the upper class executives at these middle class joints face the moral dilima, are protected and walk with boat loads of the broken companies cash. They therefore get paid to tank it along with the entire middleclass horizion.
It's in a death spiral. I've been watching this train wreck for over a year. It's amazing how one CEO "genius" can destroy a company so quickly. I don't think they recover.
So did u short it? would you be buying puts?
pants?
Go short on leisure suits or long?
See K-Mart
K-Mart was robbed blind by it's employees and the trucking companies delivering goods, they were told by an audit firm that was the issue so they ignored the problem and the rest is history.
Everybody here on Zerohedge would return to JC Penney if they started selling gold and silver at discount prices.
My joke was they need a Ruger boutique, a Glock boutique, a Smith & Wesson boutique, ....., an ammo boutique. And they'd do OK. Get rid of the yoga excercise area and put in a shooting range. Give the people what they want. JCP used to sell guns.
Or... Ammo.
Not a bad business model. Carry the Dick(s) inventory instead of the Cunt(s).
New slogan.....
Penny ......... That's What We are Worth
come see us as we move onto a sidewalk near you
I hope the door hit Ron Johnson on the way out.
Listen to your career employees (those that are left), not a bunch of MBA silver spoon dolts.
I don't care if someone is Gay, just don't make them your spokesperson to try and make yourself look "hip"; the same goes for iPads and self-absorbed 20 somethings working 20 hours a week.
Be J.C. Penney, not "jcp" or Target or Kohl's, because I can't stand those places.
Have you been to Kohl's lately? They have these LCD price displays now. Same w/ hip urban Dunkin Donuts... hip electronic menu boards.
CLUE: They're gearing up for hyper inflation...this time around they won't have to worry about colored stickers when the prices quintuple in one day, they'll just have some marketing guy do it remotely from their HQ.
Wonderful, ain't it? No wonder my coffee costs $3 a cup... f'n plasma screens.
No, haven't been in a long time, but will check it out.
The ideal bait and switch; newspaper or FarceBook or online ads that then get 20% more expensive instantly but are stil "25% off"; especially if they synchronize the digital stuff.
The Millenials and A.O. ("Always On") generations likely won't notice - what they see in the moment is truth, reality, and always was.
Grumpy old codgers of my generation will bring in the print ad, and the pink faced "Logan's Run" (under 30) part timers will say "That must be last week's ad."
Just wait until they do this with pensions and S.S. and Medicare; benefits only online - and reduced overnight!
"I'm sorry Mr. Smith, my screen says you get $927 per month, not $1,227."
Forward!
they are ready for that.
http://www.economicpolicyjournal.com/2012/01/dhs-officers-armed-with-sem...
might be best for you to know just how many hungry people there will be in your county when they shut off the SNAP.
enter your zip code to find out.
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/map_of_the_week/2013/04/...
I am a believer that there are very few CEOs who are actually worth what they are paid. Many are successful, more due to being in the right place at the right time. These changes would have worked in the 1990s or early 2000s because the economy was growing. Making the same changes last year, with a slowing economy, was hopeless.
In this case, I'm beginning to believe Johnson was a plant. This is beyond poor management.
They are sorry, this is true. No inventory, no pricing power, loads of fresh debt, an alienated customer base, loss of goodwill, they missed the spring shopping rush what there was of it. It will be a long dry summer for jcp imo.
WTF was that chick in the pink wearing????? Talk about blind fashion! JC Penny is for the grandparents man. Come on!
Should have used more lens flare.
They got a good Tall Man selection.that's all i know.
Since everyone here thinks this is pathetic, it be good with the mass market.
That must be why they did it, no?
God damnit Im so confused.
That commercial targets women shoppers and is a rush order using the best commercial director JCP could find. Don't be surprised if this video ad has a positive effect. Remember that sleazy "It's morning again in America" 1984 Reagan re-election campaign ad? Voters bought that ad, full of lies and misstatements. This JCP ad is pretty much truthful, JCP listened to customers (and also its shareholders) when the JCP board sent CEO Ron Johnson flying out the executive suite window. The problem for JCP is, did they wait too long to act?
Where listening on F - does that stand for fuck you customers
Since totally everyone on here is bearish on JCP, well, I hate to say it, but Ima buy the dip.
While I have a keen appreciation for heresy against the heresy, I have to go with the consensus here: Penneys is a dead retailer walking.
Not until the boycott stops, and the sales come back. They did say they would bring back some sales.
Take JCP down.
Show George Soros you opinion.
George Soros Is Buying J.C. Penney Stock: Should You?
http://www.fool.com/investing/general/2013/04/30/george-soros-is-buying-jc-penney-stock-should-you.aspx
My family were loyal J.C. Penney's customers for several generations. After they got through insulting everything my family stood and sacrificed for lo those many years, it will be a cold day in hell when they get another sale from us. Besides, I thought the poofter market was the answer to everything.
Oh great. Another example why I "love" advertising. How about burning your money and/or giving it away to states instead?
I just puked a little in my mouth.
James Cash Penney was a great retailer, it is a shame what so called professional managers have done to a once great company.
This is what happens when New Yorkers, with an agenda, get hold of a company. Look at the board of directors. Same thing with most public companies.
Puuulease, I changed, I really mean it. What do they mean? That they no longer want to play gay chicken??? Don't get it.
Shopping for the wife in JCP, the air conditioner was turned off. Must have been 90 in there. (Texas)
Forget about JCP for a minute. Yesterday was the 1st of the month and my local WalMart was jammed solid with obese welfare moms with carriages overflowing with frozen pancakes and Doritos. The lines were out the door.
I’m going to wait for the final liquidation sale. Then I’ll probably buy some cheap glassware and bed sheets.
When I know the company, or their bankers, are taking a hit on the sale, I'll be there!
Anyone been in a mall recently? There are lots of people and few shoppers. This has nothing to do with sexual orientation or bangledesh workshops or greedy "business" people.
The consumer is tapped out. Done. Finished. Overleverged. People are buying just what they think they need on their existing budget. Unless they start selling things for 1-5 bucks a pop, they don't move. Go into a JCP, Macy's, Nordstroms, Sears and look at where the customers are congregated and where the salespeople are not. It's called Clearance. And unless the percentage is at least 50% (not the 10-30% that Wallyworld calls clearance), the stuff doesn't move.
There are a few sales being made, but they are few and far between. That's being reflected, in store buying, they don't have the selection they used to (sizes) and they just don't give a darn. Buy what's there or don't, we don't expect to be employed much longer.
All your self-righteous blather won't mean a thing when there's no store to sell anything, anywhere and you're forced to barter for used clothing in the neighborhood or go naked. The consumer doesn't have the means to turn this economy around and the powers that be don't care either.
The consumer is 'tapped out' and can't turn around the economy from current price levels, which means it was insane to stop 'sales' at JCP. If the FED and gov. weren't fighting market forces, there would already be a real recovering. They are detached and arrogant, simply putting off the inevitable, while worshipping Degenrates.
This is clearly about the factory collapse in Bangladesh which the ZH people apparently didn't hear about (doubtful given the stuff they give links to and talk about) or simply didn't care. I just read about it today which probably shows relying on the alternative media for my info isn't always the best thing to do.
If the ZH bloggers did hear about it then wow, nice way to act like it isn't news worthy. 400+ people die in an illegally constructed building for various clothing brands to pay slave like wages so they can icnrease their profit a bit more. Yeah, that's clearly not newsworthy here/in the alt. media but having a daily fucking udpate on the Boston bombing bullshit is.