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Chopper Envy: Mario Draghi Bashes "Helicopter Money"

Tyler Durden's picture




 

In what may be a historic first, as part of his answer to the last conference question on whether it is time for the ECB to start onboarding risk on its balance sheet, Draghi had a simple answer:

  • DRAGHI SAYS ECB DOESN'T GO AROUND WITH HELICOPTER MONEY

Now... is that just a little chopper envy, bourne out of disdain for the Buba's "just say 9,9,9" position, or is this the start of an actual slamdown between the ECB and the Fed. Surely even Draghi realizes that with the private sector in Europe hibernating with zero or negative loan creation in the past four years, and with the ECB unwilling to inject unsterilized liquidity, there is no hope of actual European growth ever (because sadly we live in a Keynesian world in which economic growth is always and only a function of new money injected into the system). And yes, BOJ and Fed cash will only push stock markets higher for so long before the economic tide goes out, youth unemployment hits 100% and the revolution finally takes place.

 

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Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:37 | 3521989 fonzannoon
fonzannoon's picture

It's Bernak pile on time. Nevermind that Yellen will be dropping it from Boeing 747's.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:46 | 3522038 Eireann go Brach
Eireann go Brach's picture

I am still shocked that all of these wankin bankers are allowed to walk the streets! The old IRA would have taken these fuckers out one by one, and the world would be a better place!

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:54 | 3522062 i-dog
i-dog's picture

In America, Bernanke prints more of it. In Europe, the central bank just steals it!

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:55 | 3522066 Deo vindice
Deo vindice's picture

Draghi is making sense in his own twisted way.

If you impose negative interest rates, you don't need a heliciptor.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:48 | 3522048 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

"Get to the chopper." - Mario "Arnold" Draghi

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:56 | 3522068 augustusgloop
augustusgloop's picture

draghi can't even do a euro-trash villain right. i'll take hollywood & alan rickman aka hans gruber.  at least ben walks the walk (by the by mr. draghi, whose central bank is pumping euro money center banks full of dollars?). draghi only talks of theoretical aircraft deriving lift and propulsion from a horizontal overhead rotor capable of gravity assisted dispersion of mediums of exchange in the form of banknotes, collectively.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 19:26 | 3524444 asteroids
asteroids's picture

Hans Gruber would have made a brilliant ECB lead.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:37 | 3521993 Divided States ...
Divided States of America's picture

Bernanke: GO GO GADGET GO (Helicopter Hat activated!)

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:38 | 3521994 HD
HD's picture

 All these central banker fuckers were on the same script in the past few years working together - now it seems it's everyman for himself.

 

 

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:41 | 3522011 freewolf7
freewolf7's picture

And that's how you take down a sociopath.

Turn them on each other.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:50 | 3522053 HD
HD's picture

Maybe we can get them all in a locked room with nothing but a sword and the movie "Highlander" playing on an endless loop.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:01 | 3522088 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

It would turn into a circle jerk.  Instead of Highlander put a Nigel Farage video loop on the screen.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:09 | 3522150 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

Not so sure that's a great idea...

Remember the part where Sean Connery says:

"There can only be ONE."

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:54 | 3522064 NotApplicable
NotApplicable's picture

Hmmm... no Bernanke at the J-hole, and now this?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:59 | 3522086 Manthong
Manthong's picture

It is still all part of the same scam..

They had the deal sealed with the Fed before LTRO1..

They will just slosh the swaps and credit back and forth until something in the model breaks.

Then they will punt again unless the SHTF.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:40 | 3521999 newworldorder
newworldorder's picture

Now is this not rich of him to say this. He dont need no helicopters, but keep the uSD$ SWAPS coming. What a HYPOCRITE.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:40 | 3522000 Charles Nelson ...
Charles Nelson Reilly's picture

yeah instead of a helicopter Draghi prefers to drop it directly from his ass.  

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:40 | 3522003 cherry picker
cherry picker's picture

The problem with helicopter money is that it seems to blow away just before the outstretched hands on main street can grab some and the fellows in those pretty balloons with vacuum cleaners manage to suck it all back in.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:40 | 3522006 unwashedmass
unwashedmass's picture

 

you know, that entire press conference was pitiful. the people of Europe are enduring a DEPRESSION....and all that ass talked about was the stability of the banks. In other words, taking care of his own, and protecting their wealth, their assets, and their bonuses. 

 

I've had it. today, i leave the stock markets, put it all in gold and silver......and quit watching. this is all going to end so badly its terrifying. I just hope we avoid bloodshed on a global basis. 

 

terrifying. 

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:40 | 3522007 TeamDepends
TeamDepends's picture

UFC 200:  Mario "Draco" Draghi vs. Ben "The Chopper" Bernanke

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:41 | 3522012 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

No need for envy. Who needs a chopper? We are far ahead of that. Draghi shall have a rocket powered fighter aircraft! Messerschmitt Me 163b:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Messerschmitt_Me_163

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:46 | 3522039 Baader
Baader's picture

The me163 was notoriously difficult to fly.
Maybe we should encourage Draghi to have a go ;)

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:55 | 3522069 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

Further, it was notoriously explosive, which is exactly what I was thinking about ... and it had to land as a glider, maybe that's an analogy, too ...

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:06 | 3522138 Baader
Baader's picture

Even better, the A4. (V2)

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:18 | 3522200 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

Try shoveling out paper bills straight from a choppers cabin, it will be sucked into the main rotor blades for a hell of a ride and after hitting the tail rotor watch her spin !

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:43 | 3522019 Dr. Engali
Dr. Engali's picture

Don't like your neighbor or the guy down the street? If you live in Florida you can turn him in to the government and get a million bucks.

 

http://www.prisonplanet.com/floridians-encouraged-to-report-neighbors-wh...

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:46 | 3522035 Bearwagon
Bearwagon's picture

With best regards from the Gestapo ....

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:47 | 3522042 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

I love the ChiCom model.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:04 | 3522119 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

". . . anti-government political statements that may be deemed a prelude to violent action."

 

I feel like I'm watching "V."  Clearly these shitheads are getting frightened.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:30 | 3522274 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

"that may be deemed a prelude to violent action."

Good pick. Some correctional facilities take baton action
if inmates pass by without their heads lowered and hands folded on the back.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:17 | 3522196 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

"Hey, your dog shit on my lawn. pick it up."

 

"Hello ...911? I'd like to report a TERRORIST THREAT."

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:24 | 3522234 TheGardener
TheGardener's picture

Nice post Doc , watch the mustache, this aint your sheriff.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:44 | 3522028 dick cheneys ghost
dick cheneys ghost's picture

Was that a 'shout-out' to the Saudi's?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:44 | 3522030 Unprepared
Unprepared's picture

Choppers are messy. Drones allow a high-precision money injections to the pockets of handlers. Contains risk of collateral enrichment of the politically connected.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:45 | 3522032 OldE_Ant
OldE_Ant's picture

"I'm on the helicopter to hell."

No this is called the 'Dreamliner'! Watch out for that vapourized Lithium dose. We assure you it is NOT from the flames of hell! Relax and breath normally, we are about to arrive at your destination which sports daily temps of about 180F with continual clear skies, and boiling hot springs guaranteed to take the weight off your shoulders.

Shoulder chuck stew served around the clock.
With tater tots and a large warmed pinapple.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:45 | 3522033 IridiumRebel
IridiumRebel's picture

Chopper: sick balls

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:06 | 3522137 Bastiat
Bastiat's picture

+1 for Stand by Me reference.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:45 | 3522034 valley chick
valley chick's picture

sick of Draghi the drama dick. 

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:46 | 3522036 Acet
Acet's picture

Ok, we need some clarity here:

- Is he unwilling to print money altogether?

OR

- Is he unwilling to drop it on the masses but wuld happilly print money and channel it to the banks so that only a "worthy minority" benefit?

 

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:48 | 3522046 buzzsaw99
buzzsaw99's picture

draghi: we cannot achieve much with such very small penis but you americans, wow!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIx1vDKCmuU

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:51 | 3522050 Nex
Nex's picture

Super Combat 2020-Ultimate destruction.
Place: Tokyo
Mario "negative" Draghi vs. Ben "leaking" Bernanke

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:49 | 3522051 digalert
digalert's picture

Draghi does however, pick up the helicopter droppings.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:51 | 3522055 ebworthen
ebworthen's picture

Race to debase!

Who can punish their savers and responsible citizens faster!?!?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:52 | 3522057 q99x2
q99x2's picture

Long live the revolution. I went to college and have found out that I write like Kilgore Trout. You can count me in.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:55 | 3522058 Melin
Melin's picture

"ECB DOESN'T GO AROUND WITH HELICOPTER MONEY"

They launder it first?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:59 | 3522085 kito
kito's picture

no, they just pick it off from bank accounts................cyprus has set the stage for wealth confiscation in lieu of printing.............................sooner or later america will follow...................the central banks wont print into oblivion.........they are far too shrewd for that..................much better to keep the currency alive and just feed from the middle.........................................

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:22 | 3522204 Melin
Melin's picture

The Cyprus bank accounts weren't comprised of helicopter money, they were comprised of earned (whether in the centrally planned market or the free/black market) depositer money.

Benny bucks take far more depositer money than did the Cypriot politicians.

The news here is that Euro depositers who "loan" banks their savings, will now pay for the privilege in addition to paying for any losses incurred by the bank's poor gambling decisions. 

Draghi announced the end of savings accounts. 

Who needs 'em anyway?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:32 | 3522290 valley chick
valley chick's picture

probably right kito and the stupid people deserve what they get.  Tired of stupid people.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 09:59 | 3522089 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

He's more into Hercules planes to drop the money pallets.

 

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:04 | 3522125 Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive Dissonance's picture

Very soon he will upgrade to the Airbus A400M Atlas.

<You go girl.>

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:24 | 3522233 Sudden Debt
Sudden Debt's picture

...audit of the program projected that it would run €11.2 billion over budget...

IT'S LIKE IT WAS MEANTH TO BE USED BY THE UCB!!

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:34 | 3522298 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

€11.2 billion over budget...

Phhhhft. No big deal.

Slap a solar panel and some burning batteries in there and Obama will fund it.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:04 | 3522120 ziggy59
ziggy59's picture

Get this crazy crap...ECB says Cypus government bonds to become eligible collateral in ECB operations but subject to special haircuts
http://ransquawk.com/headlines/ecb-says-cypus-government-bonds-to-become...

Who doesnt think this Ponzi Bubble wont end with a bang?

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:23 | 3522232 SpanishGoop
SpanishGoop's picture

Draghi to Merkel "Mammy can i have a chopper too....please, pretty please".

 

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:26 | 3522249 shovelhead
shovelhead's picture

You have to give Draghi credit. (pun)

Instead of lazily printing money like American Ben, he is industriously stealing it from savers.

That's called working for a living.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 10:31 | 3522283 css1971
css1971's picture

Yay. Depressions for all.

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 12:06 | 3522750 Devotional
Devotional's picture

and Draghi has what exactly? Spaghetti money???

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 12:50 | 3522922 TNTARG
TNTARG's picture

FIESTA!

PARTY TIME!

FESTA!

Maifest!

Sex & drugs & rock & roll!

Unenployed? Broken? Looser!

/sad sarc

Thu, 05/02/2013 - 13:39 | 3523109 lasvegaspersona
lasvegaspersona's picture

Draghi has ONE mission....contain inflation...simple.

Ben has a very complicated (for a reason) mission. He must contain inflation and keep unemployment low. Ben can do whatever he wants. Mario is stuck.

Ultimately Ben will kill his currency while Mario's will be fine. Both currency zones will suffer. The US when Ben finally succeds in causing hyperinflation. The EZ will suffer because the socialist governments can't keep it in their pants (their wallets that is). They spend and promise and spend some more. It is the spending and not the currency management that is hurting the EZ. When the dollar dies and Italy and Frace go belly up the EZ will still have a solid currency....just not much of an economy.

Blaming the currency for the sins of the politicians is an incorrect diagnosis.

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